From death to life: a teeanage abortion survivor tells her story

This is my written testimony on May 21, 2001 that I wrote in The B.C. Catholic newspaper and I’m here and inspired to share this to all to promote the sanctity of life.

This is what the Lord says; “A voice is heard in Ramah, mourning and great weeping. Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because her children are no more.”

“Restrain your voice from weeping and your eyes from tears, for your work will be rewarded, ” declares the Lord. “They will return from the land of the enemy. So there is hope for your future,” declares the Lord. “Your children will return to their own land.”(Jer. 31:15-17)

This is the start of the story of Jasmine, my sweet angel. I knew all along God had a bigger plan for my life, because I believe He will never allow these trials if not for a purpose. In writing this story I ask God to guide me in this calling, it’s a calling because I would not be telling you my life story if not for His glory. God seems to have designed my heart this way. Deeply, I don’t have shame, guilt, fear or desire to be secretive about this situation because in my heart I believe the truth will set you free! Nothing is hidden in His eyes, and I will gladly serve others by my experience if it will bring forth good fruits.

I was living in the Phillippines when it happend; I was just 14 when my parents decided that we would be moving to California. My parents left ahead of me, and I was left under the supervision of my brother. Unfortunately, my brother was quite over protective and insecure. He was physically and verbally abusive towards me. Due to confusion and abandonement, I became a rebel. I had a boyfriend and decided to take revenge on my brother. On my brother’s birthday I dared my boyfriend to make love to me. What a dumb idea but at that time I needed love and validation. I became pregnant.

My parents returned from California. They were worried about the family’s reputation, and my father and brother told me that I had to choose to either marry my boyfriend or abort the baby. I was very depressed, because I wanted to keep the baby but did not want to get married. The next thing I knew my brother and sister took me to a stranger’s house. I can vividly picture the house of that abortionist. There were lots of statues of saints, and in the bedroom where she did the abortions there were fetuses inside the jars, in alignment.

I was very shocked and hurt to see this. I never uttered a word. It was like going to a death sentence. She asked me to lie down and inserted a catheter. I was numb and mentally blank. I felt abused and was dying inside. She told my family that the baby would not be expelled until the next day, so we left. We went to my other brother’s house, because my parents didn’t want me back home. Around 3 o’clock in the morning I was bleeding and in extreme pain. I went to void and felt something. I looked and in the toilet and there was a little mass of blood. Shocked, I screamed at my sister and she flushed the toilet. I was hemorrhaging. My brother wrapped me in a blanket and ran for a taxi, carrying me all the way.

They returned me to that abortionist, and she performed a D and C without anaesthesia. I was in agony but my agony was about losing my baby not about the physical pain. She said I was the only person (on whom she had performed such a procedure) who didn’t scream in pain. She didn’t know that I was dying inside. After a couple of weeks I returned to my parents. But I felt lonely, because nobody talked to me. It was as if everybody was avoiding me. I started isolating myself to the point of not leaving my room for a month. I went into a deep depression. I remember my sister said to me “I missed your laughter, what happend to you?” The vibrant teenager that they knew was gone. In my loneliness I continually blamed God and angry at the world. I wanted to die.

Finally, my family couldn’t handle me anymore, I went to hospital and stayed for a month, being treated with strong anti- depressant medications. I started seeing a Psychiatrist and was put into therapy. I remember I wrote a letter addressed to my family and titled it “Open book,” about my feelings. It was a beautiful book and I wish I had kept it for you to know how a teenager feels when she had been stripped away of her rights. A right to give life!

The story didn’t end there my depression stayed with me till 18 yrs of age. I came to Canada and stayed at my brother’s place for a vacation. I found out that they were unable to have children. They were married for 10 yrs, I really felt bad about it. I said a novena to Our Lady of Perpetual Help for them.

I got pregnant again. This time I did something right. I hid it from my family for six months so they could not kill my child. I dedicated my baby to my brother. Every night, I talked to my child and told him that I’m doing this because of love. I knew I couldn’t provide for him, and he wasn’t going to have a father if I kept him because again I didn’t want to commit. Matt Anthony was born and he was a gift from God. I told God that this is my offering for the abortion that I had when I was 15. Even though it wasn’t my plan to commit that hideous sin, I still felt responsible, because it was my body that was used. The guilt that I was carrying was lifted off my shoulders. When Matt was two months old, I gave him to my brother.

I had an awesome revelation during a retreat I recently went on. I know God wants me to do something about my experience. I was reading Jeremiah in my Bible and thought that Rachel sounded familiar. I remembered seeing Project Rachel on the bulletin board of Our Lady of Mercy church. It is an organization that helps women with post-abortion issues. I talked to my parish priest and ask him “where do aborted babies go father?”He replied, “in the palm of God’s hands!” My heart leaped for joy knowing Jasmine, my sweet angel, is with God waiting and praying for me.

This letter was written when I was asked to write something for my aborted child in a book that was published for aborted babies in the Christian community. Out of the blue I got a letter from someone that they want a letter for my aborted baby and this transpired.

Thirty three yrs ago, I lost the chance of having you because of unfortunate choices that my family made in my young life of fifteen. Although, it wasn’t my choice to lose you, my body was the vehicle of your death and felt a great sense of grief, guilt and responsibility for this hideous murder. Looking back I really don’t know how I stayed sane through the course of my lifetime. As you know your brothers and sister had kept me going through all the years. They gave me the chance to be a good mother, which I never had with you. Losing you made me a better person and realized that I have the voice to reach out to those women who are experiencing the same agony. To give hope where there is doubt and to bring light where there is darkness. You taught me the greatest thing of all which is love.

I’ve been writing about us and never really thought of writing to you until this calling was made. This is the first time that I truly communicated with you. I don’t know how or what I’m going to tell you but I’m doing it anyway. You are my sweet angel and always watching over me and your siblings. In your world there is so much love that I can hardly wait to be there. All my life I wanted to be with you but I guess I still have some work to do here. I believe things happen for a reason and in God’s hands I surrender my life.

Jasmine, I’m truly sorry for not haviing you and for my family’s action of abortion. I can’t bring back the past and all I have now is the present moment. I want you to know that even though I lost you, that you are always in my heart and soul. Everytime I see and smell flowers I’m reminded of you and your beauty in my life. Can you imagine that out of a dreadful experience I will bear fruits of healing, love, hope, faith, joy, forgiveness, surrender, serenity and peace? These are the gifts that you brought into my heart and I thank you for forgiving and allowing me to be your mother in spirit.

Love is timeless and boundless. My love for you is as real as here and now. It leaps through space and time. It is eternal and bliss. Thank you for your presence and love that I feel in my heart. There is nothing in this world that would make my life completely perfect until that time when you take my hand and meet me there in the gateway of heaven.

I love you with my heart and soul.

Mommy Teza

The personal challenge for me is when my family members don’t understand what a mystic is and assume that they know everything about you. They want their peace of mind so they want you to take a “magic pill” that will clear them of their own fear . Their fears is actually about them, it is the fear of letting go with control and attachments. They want everything to be in control and balance so when they see you in your “ecstasy” they are scared that they will lose you and their lives will be in chaos. But actually it’s their own world that they can’t manage because they can’t accept the fact that their own mother is a mystic and should not be justified by any medical community that there is something wrong with her.

This is the illusion that humanity needs to accept that a mystic is simply longing to be left alone with the Divine time in her private reclusion or retreat. Let her be, as long as she doesn’t harm herself. They feel more rejected by the world when their own family members, co workers, friends give them a label that they are insane. Who really knows what sanity is? When is the world going to wake up? We continually live in sham and drudgery, the mystics know they are not insane but the society doesn’t give them credibility for these beautiful gifts of unconditional love. They seem to recognize the insanity of the mystics because they are afraid of their own darkness and shadows. It is living outside your box in order to make room for the mystics.

To see and feel the pain of the mentallly challenged patients in the Mental Institution because there is no one there to care and truly listen to their broken hearts is quite an awakening experience. We need to wake up as one collective consciousness to be aware that our world is not cut out for everyone. We have all different gifts and voices to be heard in the midst of our dark nights. We have the birthright to voice our true spirit and longings of our souls, where no one dares to thread. I am the voice of a mystic that truly feels the pain and sufferings of being ridiculed, judged and labeled. Enough is enough. We need to voice and see the beautiful gifts of the mystics outside the monasteries. We are here, to serve our humanity elevate their consciousness and become one with the Divine Source of everything. We are all one, children of God whatever God means for you.

There are stages of development or process that we go through as human beings before we achieve a level of enlightenment or inner peace. We have to undergo a lot of detachments from all things, relationships, and other wordly attachments, it’s called detoxification. The space that we clear becomes empty and is now ready to be the vehicle of light that the Merkabah or Star Lotus can now freely travel and connect to your being. Our physical existence or body protects and holds this light body. When we are in pain our body is telling us energetically that we are carrying toxin in which ever part of the body the illness manifest. This is how we use the Chakra Energy centers to detect what issues are we going through and which dynamics of energy we need to heal and release these blockages. We are made of waves of vibrations of light particles and love is the magnifying life force that holds us here in our existence. The Source of our creation holds our blue prints when we are created in our mother’s womb, we are holding these blueprints of our souls. Given to us manifesting the grand creations of God. We are being energetically link to the Divine’s Soul of love and wisdom. We have to fill the void with unconditional love from the Divine then we can see and feel love for ourselves and others. Our human conditioning prevents us from fully accessing our Divine self. We are not alone in this soul’s journey, ask and you shall receive. When we ask for healing, support, guidance and direction we are spiritually guided in our higher dimension which is our over soul. Our Akashic Records evolves as we change and transform into more loving and enlighten being. When you are able to align these physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and soul bodies of your existence you become expansive and magnified in a blissful state of co creation with the Divine’s love and wisdom.

The Stages or process of clearing for unconditional love:

1. Awakening from painful situations that you have, if it’s drama or sufferings become aware that everything is energy and that relationships are your mirrors. This is the victim consciousness, the Archetypes of Saboteur, Victim, Prostitute and Child they serve as your catalysts for transformation and shift. See the signs, listen to your dreams and guides for deeper reflection of what is happening. Take full responsibility for attracting these situations, you need to clear more subtle bodies that are still not in alignment with your bright soul. Just like a diamond in a rough, you need this perfect brilliance to become a vehicle of light to others and the Universe. Clarity, inner strength and courage to move on by forgiving yourself and others.

2. Awareness of your soul’s purpose, this is a fire that continually ignites your being. This stage is when you become an observant of your situations, starts practicing meditation, healing, paying attention and listening to your body, mind and emotions. Grounding your soul’s purpose, you realize that you are not about work and you become less attach to what the world affairs are going through. You open your Third Eye Chakra and can see beyond the veil. The truth sets you free and you let go of attachments. You become aware of your bigger purpose and service to humanity. This can be anything from your creative nature, healing others, helping children, being a writer, being a mentor to others, advocating for victims, anything that makes you happy and brings out your passion. See your Archetypal energy patterns, those are your guides and compass to your destination.

3. Alignment to your soul’s purpose through a process of connecting to your spiritual guides, balancing and clearing of your Chakra Energy Centers, aligning your physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and soul levels of bodies into your present moment. All energy fields will be clear at this stage and challenges will come as grounds for empowerment. Bringing the transmission of Divine’s unconditional love and light into your blueprint which is your Akashic Records that is link to all that is, the collective consciousness of humanity. Paradigm shift from victimhood into empowerment.

4. Ascension and Activation of your DNA, cellular tissues, fibers, memories and consciousness into Divine’s love and wisdom. Remembering your home where your heart is. Paradigm shift from being “me” to “we”. Energetically link to the Ascended Masters, Archangels and angels, Saints and spiritual guides for protection, healing, support, direction, clarity and guidance. Return to home, your soul’s access to your Akashic Records and others. Being a vehicle of unconditional love and light. Manifestation and co creation of paradise in your fields. Heaven on Earth experiences and transcending lower vibrations of emotions into love and peace. Your presence dissipates darkness or negative energy, becoming one with the Source and all sentient beings.

The Universe will surely test and give us more situations that will trigger more unforgivenes, until we truly get the lesson behind this situation which is unconditional love. The hidden gem is all about our love for ourselves. If we truly love ourselves, we will not allow thoughts that will harm us in anyway. When we withold love, we create lower vibration that are emotions like guilt, anger, revenge, resentment, anxiety, within our consciousness and thus create stress in our health and being. We become hard on ourselves and we create an armor around our hearts. Our hearts become a perfect ground to breed unwanted feelings and negative emotions. These emotions ruts in our hearts and our souls are stuck in this darkness. We become victims of our own consciousness and when this happen we are separated from our Source. The Source is about love, unity and harmony. We are not here to experience pain and sufferings but to be in the space of love and grace.

We forget who we are, we are spiritual beings in our human suits, all of our dramas are our own creations because we attract who we are inside our hearts. When we see beyond our pain and see the bigger picture we will know that we are all in the same boat. That we experience all these situations in different forms, the question is do we ever get the lessons that we are trying to learn? We all have conscious choices to make in this lifetime, to live a happy life or to be stuck in this negative situation within ourselves and others. Let us wake up and take responsibility for the state of our consciousness.

Blaming others for our state of mind is not going to help us in the present moment. Like the bite of a snake, the bite is long gone but we still suffer the venom of the snake’s bite. We are caught in the poison of the snake, this is the venom of this unforgiveness path. We create more pain by holding this crooked path in our existence. The garden of our hearts is like a landscape, we need to weed out bad weeds like ill feelings and grudges in order to reap good fruits in our harvest. Forgiving the past is not easy but when we want to move forward, we choose to forgive then let go of the past. Focus on your chosen path and follow your heart. This is the return to home, your heart is where your home is.

This is our Sacred Contract, to be with this certain person to experience pain and forgiveness. In the bigger picture, without this situation we are not going to learn the lesson of forgiveness. When we start to see things as is and send blessings to the enemy so to speak, we find this inner peace deep within our hearts. We feel light and we are in the space of grace and Divine’s love. Only through these dark nights of our souls we can achieve true forgiveness and learn the lesson. If we keep denying our own pain and blaming others for how we feel, we will just go in a circle of drama and we keep attracting the same situation with different actors so to speak.

We transcend our pain by forgiving and letting go of this negative karma, we allow the space and power of healing our hearts. We become co creator of our lovely and happy experiences. We choose to empower ourselves and allow our selves to expand into this beautiful creation of God whatever God means for you. We learn to trust the flow of love into our experiences and we become happier in our existence when we connect to the Akashic Records of our souls. This is the secret path to tap into the Akashic Records. We can not touch this when we have unforgiveness in our existence because the heart of our human collective consciouseness is in the realm of our souls. We can only go through the high vibrations of our souls when we connect to the Source of our existence. Our souls vibrate in the frequency of love and light and we have to be align and congruent with our souls in order to have access to the Akashic Records. People are mistaken if they think that you have to be smart in order to access your Akashic Records, it’s actually the heart that needs to be pure to access this high frequency of vibration of love and light. God sees us beyond our mind’s perceptions, but within our heart’s lies the wisdom of our Source. This is the path of our return to home, where love is. There is no sense in holding pain, anger and resentment in our existence because we only give ourselves a more difficult path to thread to.

Let us forgive ourselves first in order to experience true forgiveness for others. We don’t need to be with them but to allow the space of grace and love within our being. It creates a new pattern of experiences and we become more align to manifest our dreams in this lifetime. Let us live in the present moment consciously choosing to forgive. ” I now declare to the Universe and Source that I’m forgiving others who consciously or unconsciously had hurt me in the past and I also ask others to forgive me for hurting them consciously or unconsciously through my thoughts, words and actions, let it be done. May the flow of grace and love be with me in this lifetime. Amen.”

The virgin archetype is quite an interesting one, you would think this has to do with virginity only but actually it has more issues than that. Archetypes are not only about physical expression, it is also energetic and there are many ways that they manifest. This archetype touch the collective consciousness and in the temple days the ladies are actually not virgin but they consider themselves as virgin because nobody can control them, they are in control. The truth that is hidden in this archetype is about power and control, not only of their virgin territories, virgin ideas or thoughts, their sexuality on how they want to be in control, to prevent them from having an intimate union with another person.

It’s almost to the detrimental of having fear about their own bodies and feelings of guilt that they are not perfect and not good enough to be with someone. It creates an illusion that they are in control of their bodies but it actually becomes an escape for intimacy. They become dependent of the need for approval of their bodies and they want the illusion that they are in control of their temple and that this will make them become respected by others. It is an ego in a form of control of their bodies. The obsession of the body and control is the shadow of this archetype and it can be transcended once the person becomes aware of the energetic component of this archetype.

Looking through the temple of their bodies, they carry the separation from others on how they intimately see and feel the world. The Virgin archetype has an intense inner focus. She is spiritually orientated and more concerned with the inner world than the outer world. She is now making a come back as women everywhere are beginning to follow their own hearts and dreams to manifest a reality other than that of partnerships, motherhood and child rearing. Often they are unmarried, but this did not mean that they were necessarily asexual. In fact, some of the virgin goddesses expressed their sexuality openly, owning their sexuality proudly and without shame. It was not given away or bartered or owned by their partners, it was wholly and solely within their dominion.

The union of body and spirit is not experience due to hiding behind the shadow of this virgin archetype. One has to realized that they need to have balance and intimate union with their own self to know that this can be transcended and learn the spiritual lesson of this archetype to fully function and become intimate with another soul. You have to know the fragmented parts of your archetypes that you are afraid to face or learn. Everything is about evolution and power, the path to finding the positive in the negative shadow of your archetypes will help you in learning the soul’s purpose. Every soul is different and you have to personalize the lesson and ask yourselves series of questions to help you figure out what is the lesson behind this archetype. Aks things that you are afraid of facing, what are your fears? what are the things that you are called to do and not to do? What is the pattern of this archetype? What can I do to help myself transcend this archetype and learn the lesson? It is about discovering your archetypal energy and how you can transcend them into positive light to help yourself become wholesome and bring light to your shadows.

“I declare to the Universe that I’m a co creator of my empowered life and I take full responsibility for everything that comes to me acknowledging my truth, inner strength, loving, forgiving and peaceful soul co creating this tapestry of my abundant life. Be it done!”

This archetype is not only about sexuality but it’s actually more about spirituality and how one stays in a relationship or situation that sells their spirit short. It’s usually when one doesn’t want to leave a comfort zone and thinks that survival is the easiest way to live this world. Most of married women are actually carrying these Archetypal energy. When they are not happy in their partnerships but feel they have to stay because of their survival.

Self empowerment is a gift, knowing your prostitute archetype is a tool when you can transcend this energy. One realizes that the spirit is more important than all of these material stuff and dependency that we surround ourselves with. What’s important is the relationships that are loving and truthful, when we stop denying and pretending that we are happy with the other person or situations that we are involve with. We open oourselves to honest, peaceful and loving relationships with our own self and others.

What makes a person to sell his spirit short? The root of this is fear of the unknown, when you are afraid to be who you are, you attract this fear and creates a shadow that blinds you to your truth, which is your spirit or light. When one is in the survival mode and can not find the inner strength to live the truth. It is an illusion of your true self, denying the power that resides within you. You are afraid to become big and empowered. One finds inner strength and becomes a true peaceful warrior of the light when he realizes that his inner spirit is more important to materialism. It doesn’t only involve materials it can also becomes a dependency to relationships that are harmful to your soul’s evolution.

This archetype teaches you to find your voice, to know your true self which is your spirit. When you align the mind with your heart you create the authenticity of your soul. Becoming conscious of your choices, that every single choice that we make will affect everything in our present moment. Finding your voice or self expression that will lead to your highest potential and highest good. You become open to what is and create expansion in your existence. You live outside the box and connect to your soul’s purpose. You enlighten your mind in all aspects of your attachments with materials and others. You become a free spirit.You thrive in all of those that you touch, with endurance, integrity and honor code that you make between you and your God whoever is your God.

The truth is about discovering your self and knowing what you truly desires and living your soul’s purpose. The situation is here to serve you to see the bigger picture of your life. When you shift your perspective this way, you use the situation to help and empower you to become who you are suppose to be. Use it like a compass in finding your inner strength. Forgive those who have harmed you and surrender to the Divine calling of your life. You have so many graces to receive when you face your challenges and honor your integrity. When you meditate and clear your emotional fields one can find inner peace with the situation. It helps to be at peace and it’s useless to blame anyone for where you are at because this situation happens to help you find your truth and it doesn’t help you if you are stuck in blaming others. Take the responsibility for yourself because you are always a co creator of anything that comes to you.

Miracles take place when you surrender everything to God, love is the only true power that we have. Everything else is an illusion. When your heart is open, you open your life to all the possibilities that you want to experience. Trusting and having that leap of faith that everything that happens is for all the good of those who follow the will of God. We are just instruments in this lifetime, we are ask to see beyond illusions and become conscious of our creations. See the gifts that you have inside and follow your heart. The wisdom lies inside this heart that beats as one. One with the Universal flow of life and connects to the Universal Mind of God.

The ability to heal this prostitute archetype is know where and what is the pattern of your disempowerment. When you discover the truth and accept that you have been going through this energy of selling short your spirit, you will find some light in the areas that you need to acknowledge where you are stuck. Acceptance is an important factor in healing because you are not stuck in denial, then you can face the truth without shame or guilt. Being hard on yourself is not going to help you but truly, being kind and compassionate towards yourself is the key to freedom of your spirit. Forgiveness for others and forgiving yourself for whatever happend in the past and living in the present moment will transform your mind, body and heart consciousness.

It is time to shift this prostitute to what is our truth with the Universal flow of love and forgiveness between all of us. We all have harmed each other in some ways that we are unconscious. Let us unite our consciousness in one field of love and light. When we shift this separation, we feel connected to the Universal power and we are empowered sentient beings experiencing the Divine flow of love and peace. Together we can make a difference in this world and be a powerful soul family in our evolution to becoming a dynamic, universal, progressive, conscious sentient beings in our planet Earth.

” I declare to the Universe that I am empowered, conscious, compassionate, loving sentient being that is experiencing unconditional love and inner peace within myself and others. I now create my conscious choices with full alignment and congruency to my Universal highest potential.”

This is the archetype that wakes up our consciousness to self empowerment. Experiencing pain and sufferings through our cloudy senses, we lose our spirit. We become focus on our mundane relationships with others and see all the negative things that doesn’t work for us. We become the victims of circumstances and blame others for our failures or mistakes in order to feel superior or better than the rest of humanity. We get entangled with this unending web of cycles and our Karmic bond within our lineage gets passed on from generations to generations without knowing our participation in this Karmic bondage.

As a sexual victim, the trespassing of my father became my pain body and relieving this broken trust every time I’m in a relationship. There was a sense of hidden and unconscious revenge and anger towards men. I wasn’t aware that unconsciously, I didn’t know how to receive love. I keep attracting the same pattern of woundedness and I have to suffer the pain of not being able to feel loved. Until one day when I was in hypnosis workshop and we did a muscle testing that it was revealed to me that I have a problem receiving love. This awareness became my guide towards my healing. I realized that my heart is not open in receiving the most important of all human gifts which is unconditional love. They always say you can not give love if you don’t love yourself but first you have to know that you are doing it to yourself. What is a sign that you don’t know how to receive love? You create broken relationships with others and you don’t know why this cycle keeps repeating itself, like a broken record.

When you are in this victim consciousness, you feel separated or alienated, that you don’t belong and that others are there to harm you. There is a sense of putting the blame to others, you become aloof of others who try to be close to you. There is no sense of trust and you like to be alone. Blaming and projecting to others what their faults are is not going to help you in anyway, looking within and facing your pain will finally release you from the attachments with others. You will be the master of your soul and live your heart’s desires. Looking at the bigger picture, you will see that the victim is just an archetypal energy that humanity has to go through as a survival mechanism. When you befriend and transcend this energy you will be self empowered to be your best and live your soul’s purpose. We live in this collective consciousness and we are part of this humanity but we all have the choices to choose which path to thread. Sacred Contracts are created in the blueprint of your soul, they are here to manifest in your existence to help you transcend this lifetime into being and tapping into your highest potential.

We continue being a victim as long as we don’t recognize that we are the magnet of the situations. When we wake up so to speak, we become aware of the patterns and we need to rewire the way we think things through. But we can’t change the way we think with the same mind that created it so we need to transform or shift our consciousness, by clearing our blockages and being aware of our heart and emotional vibration. When we are in the victim consciousness we are in the negative or lower vibrations of our emotions. These are emotions like anger, anxiety, pain, frustrations, anything that harms and disconnects us to our truth and peaceful state of mind.

The paradox of this archetype is that we become the light and goddess of our own shadow or fear. The part of us that is victimized is actually the tool that we can turn it around and use it as a tool to help others become over comer like us. We learn to transcend our blockage and Sacred contract to finally learn the spiritual lesson that we are here to know. There is always a spiritual lesson behind a problem and that is the door of opportunity knocking to help us transcend whatever obstacles we encounter.

In my experiences, I ask the help of Ascended Master St. Germaine and the Violet flame to help transmute this negative energy to become self empowered and conscious light being. When we ask help from our Ascended Masters and spiritual guides we open our flow to this energetic fields of vibrations. Our higher self connects and we receive the guidance and wisdom that they give us. Opening our Akashic Records to help us guide our soul’s journey is a powerful tool of enlightenment. When I open and connect to the Akashic Records, my path becomes clear and free of negative vibrations and energy. Clearing my consciousness and directing me to the path of a peaceful and joyful life.

There is a contract that needs to reconcile with this victim consciousness and you have the power to do it. Have the courage to face your fear and do it anyway. Look at the other person as your mirror and become powerful to see the light and share it to other victims who are still in their shadows. Things happen to you in order to transcend your shadow and become the radiant light of this world. When we are aware of our shadows and embrace our ego we become one with the world and others. Our Earth is our school for our spiritual lessons and let’s walk this path towards our truth and love. There is only love and fear is but our shadow to hide beneath this radiant light that we are.

Relationships with another person is a catalyst for knowing your truth, essence and spirit. When we are in a relationship, we bare our souls. We find things that the other person triggers in us, what is hidden within us that we are not aware of. When this happens we are tapping into our subconscious mind. We are about vibrations, waves of particles vibrating in a scale of low or high frequency magnetizing to us the same frequency that we are sending. When we talk about energy our partners in life have the same wavelength of what we are sending so to speak. Our inner filters attracts and create who and what we have in our physical reality. When other person is acting in a manner or situation that we deem negative. It is actually a sign for us to stop and reflect on what this person is bringing into our attention.

Relationships are Sacred Contracts and we are here to teach each others spiritual lessons. They came to us to find our truth and to wake us up from our deep sleep or from our unconscious state. When we look at relationships this way we learn to easily let go of blame and we can find a space of forgiveness. Pain dissipates as we learn to let go of our attachments and expectations to what did not happen or our attention shifts to the lessons that we learn for the better.

When one is still in the victim consciousness and would not change or move forward then the other party who is align to love becomes self empowered to move on and create a higher vibration of love and light. We need to know the dynamics of energy in relationships to become empower. The different roles or Archetypal energies that we play. Ask questions that will reveal to you where in your childhood this person reminds you of and what kind of feelings are evoke? Is there any emotional trauma that needs healing or to be reconcile with your own self? What are the current theme or patterns that are being created? Where there is ego there is shadow, hidden behind the conflict or chaos. Because love has no shadow but only speaks of the truth.

When we become self aware that the other person, may it  be a family member or lover is here to bring us closer to our truth and heal our wounds, we become enlightened. There is always a choice and the freedom of our spirit to chose which path we are going to take. As we heal, we remember that we are impermanent transient beings and uncertain of all relationships. We have to power to choose what we want to experience. Most of the time when we are in a relationship that is not healthy for us, we become blind or in denial and we don’t seem to know the answer how to get out of the painful situation. We need the support of others who are there for us and can see beyond the drama. Surrender to the situation and learn the lesson, let go of old ways of thinking and shift to a more graceful flow of experiences. Choose love and compassionate way to treat others just like yourself. The truth is that we are all suffering in the same way, we are in the collective consciousness of our present human conditioning. As we are shifting into this enlightened era of our evolution, we become lighter to our selves and others. We don’t create drama and we let go of who is right or wrong. We want to live to be happy and conscious human beings.

This is the gift to see in every relationships that we have, that we are here to experience love and not fear. When we are awake and aware of our essence, we start to notice that our relationships are more evolve full of love and happiness. We become more involve with their well being and not for what we can get from them. We empower others in their souls paths, serving and sharing what we receive from this abundance world. We are one in the grand scheme of things. We have to create an intention to live consciously and to shift our patterns of thinking. “I am conscious, loving, joyful, and peaceful being experiencing all that is good. I am one with the flow of the Universal mind, energetically aligned to my highest potential and recalibrating my DNA to my multi dimensional soul blueprint of my existence. Today I bring forth a new manifestation of my creative self. Opening my heart and reconnecting to the Source of love and light. Bringing healing in my consciousness and creating a loving present moment with passion, inspiration and self empowerment.

The healing of relationships take place in the blueprints of our souls as we evolve in this conscious world, we become a co creator of our Universal mind. Our collective consciousness becomes one in all and everything is one in the now. The movements of our planets, galaxies and multi universes inter relates within  our electromagnetic fields. We experience blissful soul journeys creating a peaceful world. Our fears dissipate and we begin to love unconditionally. Our history becomes imprinted in the Akashic fields and create a new path of healing for humanity. There is no other, we are one, one within and one with all that is. Our fractal selves become one living conscious Universal self. We are souls in many multi universes of these parallel lives that we live simultaneously evolving and transcending. There is no time and space in eternal time. We can travel, be there and be here at the same moment of time and space. This is the new perceptions of the conscious mind radiating light beyond shadows and penetrating all that is. The beauty of every passing moment is the knowing that all is one and knowing that we are here to experience this beauty of love.

What is your Saboteur archetypal energy in your life patterns? This is the energy that somehow keeps repeating itself in a cycle of events or karma that eventually will keep coming up until you get the spiritual lesson behind these experiences. One can only see through others when one can see through his own self and shadow. What is the point of helping others if he himself can’t help his own self? We are one, a person will come into your space to mirror to you what you needed to learn in this lifetime. We can keep running away from this lesson but this will come back in a different form or situation. The difference between us is nothing but we are all just a space occupying this fields of perceptions and projecting to us what we are inside. When I start seeing from my heart’s perspective, all I see and feel is love. The fear dissipates and allow light to penetrate our hearts. Releasing the pain body, allowing emotions to arise from the deepest seat of the soul.

Our Saboteurs are here to highlights our fear and empower us to the changes that we need to do to reconcile us to our truth. To have courage and boldness that there is more to life than all of these illusions. We are too busy analyzing what’s right or wrong that we get caught in the drama of pain and entanglement. Freedom of spirit is when you can  rise up to the occasion of the drama and say this is enough. We are here to face what we have and grow from here. To open the doors of our hearts and allow our souls to blossom. Love is precious and don’t take it for granted. If we put our thoughts in the midst of our hearts and allow this space of love we will understand why we are in this negative situation once again. Calling us to empower and live our essence. There is only love and fear, realizing that fear is not going to help us become who we are suppose to be light workers in this lifetime, we need to wake up from all illusions and be strong for our souls purpose. We are given situations to rise up and not stay in the dark, integrate the shadow, acknowledge the mistake and grow from it. We will never rise up if we keep repeating the same mistake and pattern of our own illusions. Let us light each others path to our true light then we can feel true fulfillment in our true hearts desires.

Our own saboteur is our own self, we are blind to our illusions because we identify with our ego. When we are in fear, we can not see the light, we are blinded by the truth. The truth will set us free but this takes a shift from our own ego and self destructive behaviour. Whatever that is you are adding to your authentic self just like addictions to food, drugs, sex, alcohol or anything that brings in pleasure to take away the pain of facing your truth. These are the portals that this Saboteur Archetypal energy exist between our midst. When we try to hide our truth and acts like everything is normal or pleasurable, we deny ourselves of true healing. Our pain body emotionally eats us away, we become out of tune and stays in the lower vibrational fields of emotions like negative, fear, anxiety and worry. This is not our truth, we are loved. The most painful of all the things that we do is to destroy our true essence when we put ourselves in chaotic situations. Nobody deserves to be in suffering, we can only shift when we acknowledge that we have our problems and that we have the power to choose what we want to see in our destiny.

The way to our truth is to face our own shadow, release blaming others for whatever situations we are in because it is always our choice to be in this disposition. When we recognized that we have the power to do so, to change and let go, we encourage change in our lives. We have to empower to shift and turn this destructive force into inner peace. Releasing attachments to whatever that is disturbing our inner peace and finally realizing that it takes one step to journey into peace. We don’t help others when we stay in a relationship that is not healthy, we become enablers of their mistakes. We can only lead them into the light and better actions when we ourselves become strong enough to leave the situations, facing fear in the face and truly forgiving others for this conflict. Forgiving our own selves for being in a chaotic relationships with others. Let go of guilt this emotion only leads to lower vibrations and the only way to transcend this is to acknowledge that you feel guilty but ready to allow love back into your space.

We are all going through this emotional and mental releasing and clearing of our fields as we shift vibrationally into our higher selves. Our higher selves that we are connecting needs to clear all of our hidden lower vibrations such as fear, anger, pain, sufferings, negative and destructive behaviors and many others. We are in the path of enlightenment and many are called to take this path of spiritual warrior. To be vessels of love and light, we have to be clear of all shadows and ego. To be able to hold this high vibrations of love, we become one in all our thoughts, words and deeds. We are the Akashic Records healers of this lifetime. We bring others to their true path of light workers. Don’t be discourage of the challenges that are in your fields. As we transcend this lifetime, we release all that is not of light and we radiate this true light wherever we are. Because this is our truth, to help others in their path of healing and light. We are free spirit, loving, compassionate, kind sentient beings who is in the path of oneness.

Blessings!