The Quest For Glamour

2009-03-12T12:08:00.000-07:00

I've lost the 2lb that I put on but I'm feeling totally miserable about myself at the moment ... I so need to get some weight off.

Someone took some pictures of me at work today (thankfully using my camera so the offending pictures have been deleted). I look horrific and HUGE. I never realise how big I actually am until I see a photograph or look in the mirror.

I must stop eating cake

I must stop eating cake

I MUST STOP EATING CAKE

Hopefully I'll listen to this and actually stop eating so much cake....

2009-02-24T02:25:00.000-08:00

Hmmmm I've been away for a while - I've not been off the wagon totally but the points counting hasn't been going too well and the exercising went totally out of the window. I did well in January, hit my three times per week target each week - even doing four some weeks. I think the lack of weight loss really got me down though, made me think I might as well be sat on my backside watching tv for all the good it was doing me. I blame the Biggest Loser finishing, come back Bob.

I've put on a couple of pounds but nothing too significant, however, I am aware it is in the wrong direction. A few weeks ago I thought I was pregnant, no, I was convinced I was pregnant. In a kind of work-out-how-we-can-afford-it-start-thinking-about-names, convinced. Let me tell you if you think you might be pregnant don't look on the internet for answers, I have a coil which basically means I won't get pregnant, however, a quick scoot on google and you can find every coil pregnancy ever recorded .... aarrrggghh. So, eventually, the period arrived (over two weeks late) and quashed and fears (or excitement) that I may have about a second child and I'm back on the weight loss trip now.

I've recently bought a book called Get Off Your Arse and Lose Weight by Steve Miller, also known as the Life Bitch. It is quite inciteful and basically tells me everything I already know, it is straight talking advice. I'm fat because I eat too much rubbish. I need to eat less rubbish and exercise more in order to lose weight. Not a book if you're a bit sensitive but if you're a hard nosed bitch like me it is perfect.

It is pancake day today which means pancakes for pudding tonight. I am rubbish at making pancakes so I won't have too many of them as I'm sure the majority of the batter will end up in the bin!

Getting there slowly

2009-01-26T02:48:00.001-08:00

2lb down this week - hurray!!!

I was starting to worry by Thursday as I'd been jumping on the scales every morning with the needle not moving at all. However, once the weekend arrived it decided to have a bit of a jump. 2lb makes me feel like it is worth it - sort of. I did think I'd have a good first month and perhaps get a stone off but that doesn't seem to be happening, I think my age is hindering me - arrrrggghh I never thought I'd have to say that.

We had a chinese take away on Saturday to celebrate Chinese New Year. NRH doesn't like chinese that much so it was really my treat. I was so conscious about my lack of movement on the scales that I really didn't go wild and didn't have my usual salt and pepper ribs and went for boiled rice rather than egg fried rice. Well it was so disappointing, the meat wasn't good the rice was, well as you'd expect, plain and boring and I really missed my ribs. I suppose I ate less because of it but I really didn't enjoy my "treat".

I also did some baking this weekend but all pretty low points, scones (3 points each), brownies (2.5 points each) and meringues (1 point each). All delicious!

I did four workouts again last week which I'm really impressed with. I almost didn't do number four on Sunday, however, NRH went out to the gym with the Gorgeous One - I contemplated not doing a DVD and just watching Project Runway instead but forced myself to do it. I moved on to Level 2 of both my Biggest Loser DVDs given that I'm now on week 3 - Jillian's level 2 cardio is an absolute killer but I'm sure it is fat burning away.

Thanks for the comments on the patterns - I'm going to get some cheap muslin to make up a dress first on your advice and see if I can get a good fit for it before I go ahead and make it in some nice fabric.

I've got a dinner party planned next Saturday for NRH's birthday. I'm doing two different curries (both low fat but you can't tell) and two desserts (not low fat at all!!). I'm doing a peanut butter torte for one of the desserts and attempting to only have the tiniest portion ..... we'll see how it goes.

The steps are too small

2009-01-20T06:01:00.000-08:00

Weight loss is all about small steps making the bigger picture right? 1lb in week two ... yes you read right, only 1lb!!! I am gutted, no gutted isn't a big enough word, think of a word that is much bigger and put that in there instead. I stuck to my points religiously, even saving the 4 per day I'm allowed to in order to have my Saturday treat (apple crumble with toffee sauce - it was heaven let me tell you). I even did four workouts last week - FOUR - and all for what? One measly pound.

There my be a few reasons for my not-the-biggest-loser-style-tiny-weight-loss. Firstly, I've been doing weights in every work out so I can assume that some of my muscle has got heavier (in 2 weeks?!?!?!) and that could account for it. Also I've not been eating all my points and I know there is a school of thought which says that if you do that it can affect your weight loss. So they are my two reasons why I'm trying to stay positive about the pathetic result.

Even more annoyingly Non-Runner-Husband revealed to me that he's down to 12 stone (which I think he wanted to get to at the end of February) and so only wants to lose 7 more pounds until he's at his ideal weight grrrrrrr.

However, onwards and upwards, we've been invited to another wedding this year, this one is in May so nearer than my best friend's wedding and I've remembered that I've been sent a "save the date" card from another friend of mine so I actually have three to go to this summer. At least I have a focus to aim towards and this seems to be helping as I have stayed religiously to the plan despite my poundage.

I'm starting to put together some ideas for the wedding outfit and have a few patterns in mind. I'm currently thinking "dress" although I hate the way I look in dresses so this may have to change rapido although I would obviously have a jacket/cardi to hide the upper arms (obviously). I also like the idea of a nice jacket and trousers ... decisions, decisions. What do you think?

Working out

2009-01-16T08:53:00.000-08:00

The home workouts are going well, I don't regret giving up my gym membership at the moment. My motivation is pretty high and, to be honest, as all my favourite teachers had left the gym where I was going I had no motivation to go there at all. I've already done two this week and I'm doing another tonight and hopefully one more over the weekend.

I really like my selection of workout DVDs and I have a good range of workouts both quick (20 - 30 mins) and long (90 mins) and weights versus cardio workouts. I love my Biggest Loser workouts because I absolutely love Bob and Jillian and I have all of those DVDs. I also have a couple of Jillian's own DVDs. I have a Kathy workout (as recommended by Dietgirl) but at the moment I can't bring myself to put the DVD in the machine.

I love the fact that I can shower at home with all my lotions and potions there and that I can get dressed (in my p-j's if I want) in comfort. I have also found that by having my shower in the evening I have much more time in the morning to get myself and the Gorgeous One ready for work and school and there is less of a mad rush.

The downsides are that I only do it once Non-Runner Husband is out of the house - although an upside to this is that we can both workout at the same time whereas if I was going to the gym we'd have to go on different nights as the Gorgeous One is in bed by 7pm and when we're both gyming we go for days without really seeing each other.

I've just read Dietgirl's book again, I cried at the end - again! I'm such a wuss. I so want to beat the lard-busting and get to a "normal" size. I really want to be happy with the way I look. I have been trying to look in the mirror a bit more at myself - I tend to avoid it at all costs but I have discovered that I am absolutely vile at the moment and that is totally motivation to stick to my eating plan I have such a fat back now it is untrue, and I don't mean just a bit of a bulge I mean great big folds of fat which you can hide things in. I carry a handbag, I don't need anywhere else for my loose change!

Result

2009-01-13T00:49:00.000-08:00

5lb gone!! It's all good, I'm feeling ridiculously positive at the moment. I am well aware, however, that this is a usual start when going on a diet/healthy eating regime. I know that the effects will wear off soon but at the moment I'm hanging onto them for dear life.

The workouts went well - I got my three in last week and have done one already last night - seriously Monday night workouts when did that ever happen before? I am full of renewed energy although my workouts remain short (30 minutes) I am putting everything I have into them and am feeling using weights again big time. I am finding that knowing the workout will be short makes me more inclined to actually do it.

I've made Bob Harper (with no top on) my desktop wallpaper on my pc at work. No one here knows who he is but is obviously aware he is delicious which is good enough reason to have you on your desktop. He is telepathically helping me on my path to Glamour!

Positive points last week:
1- Didn't have cake when it was someone's birthday
2- Stuck to my points all week - apart from the planned treat on Saturday (oh yes the pear tart was fantastic and I made three individual portions so I only had one on Saturday and then it was gone - thanks to N-RH)
3 - Did three workouts.
4 - Didn't feel deprived or desperate to stuff my face at any time.
5- We went for a walk on Saturday - a very cold walk - and it was lovely. We went to a local National Trust place and had a great walk round. Felt like I was doing something enjoyable and healthy at the same time - it is possible!!!

A few more weeks like this and I'll be feeling much happier!

The Wedding

2009-01-06T12:32:00.000-08:00

Scary stuff this, my best friend who I thought would never get married is getting married.
In July.
This year.
Okay so there are only seven months to go and I need:

(a) to make a fabulous dress for the occasion, and

(b) to look fabulous in said dress.

In order for (b) to work I need to

(c) lose weight and seriously tone these arms (which at the moment belong on a butcher).

I should add I am not a bridesmaid in fact I presume that she's not having any as neither my nor our other two best friends (we're officially a "Four") have been asked, nor has the Gorgeous One. However, we should be highlighted on some photographs and I certainly don't want to be worried about looking minging at the wedding. She is a sporty person and all of her sporty friends from Uni will be there - not looking glamorous I might add but nevertheless thinner than me!!

I'm currently working on (c) and trying to choose a pattern for (b) - I've decided to start counting WW points again to get myself back on the wagon officially. I'm trying not to be too obsessive about them, in fact I've planned my dessert for Saturday night (treat night) and I'm not bothering even to point the recipe but I'm doing individual tarts so I'm in control of the portion sizing - I'm such a devil. I have, however, set up a rather startling three excel spreadsheets (weight, food, exercise) - moving into Marshmallow's old territory I know but I feel somewhat more in control and like I'm doing something positive.

I collected the Gorgeous One last night and when we got home she asked if we were doing Bob or Jillian and when I replied "no" she informed that "you should really do some every day Mum". Quite right too but I'm not starting something I can't carry on so I'm aiming for an acheivable target which I can maintain at the moment.

Hello

2009-01-06T12:24:00.000-08:00

Hello, OMG did I lapse into a coma? Did something horrendous happen to me? No I slipped of the weight-loss and blogging bandwagon .... big style.

New Year new start and all that I'm back (on both) with avengence. Scary stuff this weighing business, you'll be horrified to know that I have tipped the scales at my highest ever 209lb. I look awful, the Christmas Party photos are a testament to that and this afternoon The Gorgeous One informed me that I am fat and everyone else around me is thin (oh to be innocent and five years old again).

I wasn't going to the gym so in total money-saving mode I cancelled my membership. I was working out at home more than I was actually going to the gym as all the instructors I liked left I just had no motivation to go. So home workouts it is from now on. Before Christmas I hadn't worked out in months (and I mean serious months) so I am taking it kind of slowly getting back on the wagon.

Non-Runner Husband (he's got an injury) and I have agreed a January resolution (I think a whole year is unacheivable):

1 - At least three workouts per week (I'm aiming for four - he does at least four anyway).
2 - Not spending any unnecessary money (ie coffee shops, buying lunch instead of making sandwiches).
3 - Trying to be healthy
4 - No alcohol mid-week
5 - At least .... well I'm not going to tell you that one but there are other departments that are increasing as well!!

So I've started already. I'm in Biggest Loser mode at the moment, I chuffing love that show, yes I know it is unrealistic and an unhealthy way to lose weight but quite frankly I was never going to go on it, I just find the before/after thing motivating. I find Bob particularly motivating. We're being shown an old season in the UK at the moment that I've not seen before and it is on every day. I got two new Biggest Loser workout DVDs as well so I'm doing them to start with.

I've already done two workouts this week, Sunday and today. Like I said I am starting slow and just did the 30 min routines to begin with but I'm increasing them from next week.

I can't believe how much has changed in the blogging world - for example Marshmallow doesn't weigh in twice a day any more, in fact she doesn't even weight in!!!! I'm trying to catch up on all I've missed out on so you'll have to bear with me and I hope to get commenting again soon.

2007-10-09T05:53:00.000-07:00

Marshmallow has commented, and quite rightly I might add, that my recent weight loss is probably mainly due to my dehydration through illness and as soon as I start eating normally again it will return with vigour! I do agree with her wholeheartedly, there was something lovely about seeing those figures on the scale though (and they’re still there this morning if you’re interested). I’m still feeling a bit pants but managing to get through life; working out has not been on the agenda though and I’m really hoping I get the effort together to go to my step class tomorrow as I missed Wednesday and Saturday last week (Wednesday Runner Husband was working late and Saturday I was ill).

I’m watching the Australian Biggest Loser final tonight (I’ve got it recorded so don’t ruin it for me anyone). I’m sure this will give me the boost I need to get to that gym. I really do love that programme, I find it so motivating. I know that there is a new series airing in the US at the moment and I’m so jealous. Hopefully we will get it soon.

Dietwise I’ve been on track, my appetite is returning (although I am not eating that much) but I’m sticking to the SW plan. I had a jacket potato with cottage cheese for lunch (no butter!!) and it was delicious. I’m going to do myself a low fat risotto for dinner because I’m gutted that I didn’t get to eat much of the one I ordered when I went out on Friday night. We’ve got the inlaws coming this weekend which means an unhealthy Saturday as I try to impress them with my cooking skills, I’m of the opinion that if I am good all week though I should be able to cope with one day of eating madness.

On a separate note Pasta Queen has posted about having her book published in the US. I’m sure you all read her blog but if you haven’t checked it out yet then do, and get the book too. I know I can’t wait to get my hands on a copy. She is a great writer and has brilliant wit.

My skirt is coming along brilliantly, I made it up in the size 22 - because of the 1940s sizing saga it would seem I was listed as a 24 but the pattern only went up to a 22 – I tried it on last night and it is too big – hurray, I might only be a 20 after all!! Looks quite good though, I put the zip in last night and now all I need to do is add on the waistband and do the hem round the bottom and I’ve finished it.

The drugs don't work

2007-10-07T02:22:00.001-07:00

I am ill. Not properly ill, not the sort of ill where you have to stay in bed, but I feel absolutely pants! I have got what my husband has had all week and has moaned for England. I refuse to moan like he does in real life so I'm doing it to you lot virtually ... sorry about that!!

The advantages of feeling like shit is that I have hardly eaten anything on Friday or Saturday this week and thus have a 2lb loss! Yay! Sorry for the lack of post last week, I lost 1lb which I was pleased with better than a gain or maintain right?!?

I went out on Friday, I really wanted to stick to my Slimming World plan so I posted the menu on a SW website and asked the peeps on there what they recommended I ate. When it came down to it I had two glasses of wine, about 4 mouthfuls of risotto and a coffee. I have never known myself to eat so little on a night out. The food was delicious but I just couldn't stomach it. What a shame. I also left early (well it was 11pm) because I just needed to go to bed. It was the first time I've been out in ages so I was a bit gutted to be honest. I was with three girls who I used to work with and it was so lovely to catch up with them. None of them have children so I sometimes feel a bit left out with the conversation as I don't really have a social life to speak of; luckily I could talk for England about my new job so I was mainly talking about that.

The dressmaking is going well. This is my pattern - how cute does it look?

I'm doing the short version of the skirt (ie the patterned one on the photo). I'm doing it in a denim to start with. If I do the outfit for this wedding I think I'll do a cream top (the one which is quite in the picture - not the halterneck) and a chocolate brown skirt then I can wear these shoes. Oh yes, how gorgeous are those shoes. I got them in a sale in a boutique years ago and I love them with a passion. I hardly ever get to wear them, they are probably not at their best being photographed in front of my keyboard!

I might even do the little bag as well because that is quite cute and looks quite simple to do. I'm really enjoying my class, I love having a new hobby and everyone in my class is nice, we have a good laugh in our lessons and the girl who teaches us is amazing, so talented.

Three months to go ...

2007-09-26T08:10:00.000-07:00

Another week another maintain. I am clearly not doing enough to encourage weight loss at the moment although I’m glad I’m maintaining and not putting anything on! I have decided to start a structured eating plan to give myself a bit of a jump start in the weight loss. When I finished weight watchers I thought I would “go it alone” and just try healthy eating but this is obviously not eating, I want some structure but not as much structure as weight watchers where you have to count every single thing you put in your mouth. The girls at work rave about Slimming World and I must say the idea of it attracts me; you have either a red or a green day. On both days all fruit and most veg is free you can eat as much as you like, on a green day all pasta, potatoes, rice is free … yes you heard me, carb after carb after carb. On a red day all meat is free as long as you cut off any visible fat. As well as these foods you choose four “healthy extras”; two from section a and two from section b. Section A is milk and cheese; the portion size obviously depends on the fat content of the food (meaning if you use skimmed milk you can have a lot more than full fat milk). Section B is sources of fibre so some breakfast cereals (weetabix being one of them) and also wholemeal bread. If you’re on a green day you can also choose some meat as a healthy extra so you can have some chicken with your pasta or potatoes etc or if you’re on a red day you can have some potato with your meat. On top of this you have "syns" which I suppose are a bit like WW points but you can have 10 to 15 syns a day as well as all your other food. It sounds quite complicated but it isn’t I swear!

I haven’t been to a class; I bought the materials in email form from Ebay for an absolute bargain of 99p. Saves me the £10 joining fee plus whatever the weekly fee is. I only wanted to investigate it, I wasn’t sure I definitely wanted to do it so this was a great way to get hold of the materials. Not having to weigh food is brilliant and I have eaten so well jacket potatoes with cheese for my lunch, egg fried rice (using spray oil), gammon steak and pineapple it goes on and on. I’m not saying it is the answer to all my problems but at the moment I feel really happy doing it and not at all restricted. The one thing I hated about WW was that if you had something that was too high in points at lunchtime you then felt like you couldn’t eat anything else or very little for dinner. In SW you can have a bad lunch and still have jacket potato with beans for dinner knowing it is “free food”.

Has anyone else tried SW? If so what do you think?

My workouts have stayed at their rubbish level, only two again last week. I did go to a new step class on Saturday which I really enjoyed and hope to make it as regular as my Wednesday class which I never miss. Last night I did my Biggest Loser DVD so if all goes to plan I’ll have three workouts this week.

My dressmaking course is going well, I’m really enjoying myself. I have bought a pattern of an outfit which I’m hoping to make; I’ll try to get a photo of it I can upload onto here so you can all see. I’ve got a wedding in November which I’m hoping to make it for. We’re doing a skirt next week and I’ve got some horrible cheap material to do it with, I’m going to do the skirt from this pattern and if I like the fit of it I can do it in some nice material for my “proper” outfit.

’ve joined Carolyn’s Christmas Challenge and my goal is to lose 10lb before Christmas. At the moment this is giving me a real push in my efforts and hopefully this will keep me going for the next few months. The first weigh in result is by 1st October so here’s hoping I’m at least 9lb away from my 10lb goal.

It's happening

2007-09-18T05:58:00.000-07:00

Well as you can see from the stats I’ve not lost anything this week and last week’s workouts didn’t go as planned. I have the usual rubbish excuses which I won’t bore you with but it is worth noting that I did feel ridiculously guilty about it and I was rather ill on Sunday when I was planning to make up my third workout.

Today was a bit of a breakthrough though, I’m back in my grey suit for work. A few weeks ago this was an absolute no-no with me being totally unable to do up the buttons and having a humongous muffin top but now all buttons are done up (three of them!!) and the muffin top is minimal.

I think I’m addicted to courses; after 8 years studying you think I would be glad to finish but I have started a dressmaking course. I promised my husband I wouldn’t do anything which had exams or needed me to do loads of reading during the week so this seemed ideal. I have this brilliant theory that I can make clothes in the shape I want in the colour or pattern I want and I will look continuously glamorous!! It was my first lesson last night and it was good fun. However, for the first 15 minutes all I could see were the tape measures that the teacher had brought along with us. Oh yes, we had to measure each other. Oh the shame!!! Thankfully I wasn’t the largest person there but, obviously, I was paired up with a beautiful girl who was tiny. The horror continues … we were given a sheet with measurements on and dress sizes and told to find our own size – I came up as a size 24 (I’m a 16)!! The girl who I measured who was at the most a size 10 was coming up as a size 16 and the lady next to me was a size 30! It turns out these sizes were created in the 1940s when women it would seem were a lot smaller then. Indeed, my waist to knee wasn’t even on the chart because, it would seem, compared to women years ago I am positively Amazonian! So being a size 24 isn’t too bad when you take it all in context but it does annoy me that the patterns I have bought in readiness only go up to an 18 and they will be too small.

My eating has, on the whole, been good this week. We had a dinner party on Saturday and I did the dessert course. I made three desserts but only had one (even though everyone else had a bit of each) and the rest of the remaining cakes have sat in their tins being picked at by Runner Husband since then, I don’t really feel that tempted. This must be a breakthrough. We have also had pizza but I had a small portion and only one slice of garlic bread … be careful you might need sunglasses on soon because my halo is so bright!

Hope everyone is doing well – size 22 here I come!

2007-09-11T01:11:00.000-07:00

Check out those stats – I’m down to 13 stone 7lb – hurray!!! Feeling much better that the 14 is now well and truly out of my life – may it never return again. I have also reached my first target. I’d love to put a line through it on my stats but I’m not sure how to do this – can any of you internet gurus help me? Is it really annoying for the non UK bloggers that we do everything in stones and pounds here? It seems like such a silly system compared to the US pounds and the Aus kilograms. Because there are 14lb in a stone it means we tend to use 7lb as milestones, I would much prefer to work in 10s (purely so my brain doesn’t have to think too much!) but as my scales don’t work that way it is easier for me to stick to the UK system.

The hen weekend was really good very tame for a hen weekend but a really lovely weekend which I spent with some really close friends. We didn’t drink too much at all and mainly had nice meals. I was “quite” good on the whole but I have to confess I did splurge a bit.

As you can see the workouts are not going too well – week two was not really two proper workouts as one of them was yoga which I really enjoy but I don’t know whether you could class it as a workout. Last week I did my usual step class on Wednesday and Body Max on Saturday. I really enjoyed the Body Max, I can’t do Body Pump any more because it just irritates my elbow too much, using free weights makes a huge difference. I was going to workout on Sunday as well buy boy did I feel it! I could hardly move my shoulders so I took the day off. I'm going for 3 workouts this week; a DVD tonight, step tomorrow and Body Max again on Saturday.

My eating, as you can tell from the weight loss, has been good. I’ve been really good during the day at work and working full time definitely helps. I’ve been eating my home made muesli for breakfast which really fills me up until lunchtime and has no sugar in it at all. I’ve been having a small lunch with a two finger kit kat because if I don’t have something sweet I know I’ll crave it all afternoon and then pig out on something a lot worse and then a normal dinner in the evening which I’ve trying to keep as healthy as possible, cutting the cheese out etc. Runner Husband is happy to have a lower fat meal in the evening because he’s trying to shift some weight off his tum at the moment. We had pesto risotto last night, it was delicious. I served it with a slice of parma ham on top. I must admit I used pesto from a jar because my basil had been attacked by greenfly last week but it was still lovely. It is the first time I’ve not used cheese in my risotto as Gary Rhodes (a television chef here in the UK) claims that you should never leave out the parmesan as it is such an important ingredient. Well Gary, I hate to say it but you are wrong there.

There is a programme here on TV called Cook Yourself Thin. Four chefs who have created lower fat versions of every day meals such as lasagne, carbonara, curry etc. One of my favourite food bloggers, Kelly Jane , has bought the book and made a few dishes and I quite fancy getting it myself, it is quite cheap at the moment on Amazon. Have a look at her blog and tell me what you think.

At a loss

2007-08-30T03:06:00.000-07:00

Good news, check out those stats, the 14 is no longer showing on the scales – hurray!!!!! The weekend wasn’t as good as I had planned it, we went for a set menu for lunch on Saturday and it was at a Chinese so not the healthiest option but lovely none the less and I did cut down loads in the evening. Unfortunately, alcohol reared its ugly head in the form of a box of rose that Runner Husband brought home with him. That, coupled with the fact that the Gorgeous One is being particularly difficult at bedtime at the moment (we’re talking up to two hours of screaming) meant that more than the odd glass of vino has been consumed. These things are sent to try us!!

Three workouts in total last week which was good – better than this week which is looking not so good. I went to step as usual last night (I think this can now officially be classed as a routine). I was going to go to the gym on Monday but as it was a Bank Holiday here in the UK we went to a theme park for the day and then for dinner at my parents in the afternoon. Dinner was really difficult, my brother and sister in law were there and there was hardly any conversation, I was bored to tears and so, again, many glasses of vino were consumed. Obviously I was not going to work out after that. I think I’ll do a DVD tonight though while Runner Husband is out.

I have got a new yoga dvd as well which I hope to get going with soon. I used to be really into my yoga and I used to do about 10 mins every day before work and a two hour class once a week. Unfortunately, all my videos are just that – videos – and I don’t have a VCR any more. I have tried to get the ones I liked on DVD but it seems they have not been converted. How annoying.

I’m going on a hen weekend this weekend. I’m ridiculously excited at having a couple of days away to myself with my best friends. I’ve booked the afternoon off work tomorrow and am going for a spray tan which, as we all know, gives you and instant 7lb weight loss. Obviously I’ll be drinking again (just realised from this entry I sound like a complete alcoholic, I’m not I promise!) but hopefully will keep the food at a healthy level.

What are you thinking?

2007-08-25T00:39:00.000-07:00

TFG has done a great post on thinking thin this week. Check it out, that girl has wisdom I'm telling you! I personally find it difficult to think thin as I am constantly telling myself how awful I look all the time. Although I'm learning to fake it quite well and act like I like myself this is purely for the benefit of others. When I look at my wobbly arse in the mirror I am not thinking good thoughts!

We currently have the Austrialian Biggest Loser showing on Living2 here in the UK. I'm not sure what series it is, I think it is a few years old. They are all doing really well - as you'd expect - but last week a woman called Cat got voted off and they showed her back at home keeping up with the programme. She was training with a personal trainer which I can totally understand, if I could afford it I'd have one but then she said "I'm working out for 8 hours every day". WHAT!!!
I'm sorry, is that normal?? Who works out for 8 hours a day? Most of us are WORKING during that time. How on earth is that sustainable? I have almost lost my faith in the Biggest Loser now. Why do they give them such unrealistic challenges, no wonder some of them gain once they've finished the programme.

So my Friday night went almost as planned. Runner Husband asked about the garlic bread and I said I wasn't having any so we didn't cook any but he did pour me a glass of wine without asking me so I drank it (it would be rude not to!) and he also bought me a curly wurly . He chose them because they are only about 100 calories but here is the best bit .....
Fanfare please.....
I only ate half of it!!!!!
Not sure what is happening for lunch today as Creamfields is on in Liverpool and there are loads of shows because it is bank holiday so it may not be worth meeting my friends for lunch as some of us will get stuck on the motorway. I'm feeling good about food choices at the moment though so I'll let you know how I get on.

In the Zone

2007-08-24T06:49:00.001-07:00

I’m in the zone at the moment … well for this week anyway. I weighed myself on Monday and it was not good, bad in fact, no, awful, horrendous, hideous etc etc. You remember I’ve been hovering between 13 stone 7 and 14 for a while well I hit it, the dreaded 14. The 14 I said I’d never see again (I also remember saying I’d never see the 13 again once I dropped below that so I’m now officially dropping to the lowest of the low levels!). Talk about kick up the arse. I have never felt more motivated.

I’m getting back into the gym slowly but surely and have come to an arrangement with Runner Husband that he picks up the Gorgeous One on a Wednesday so that I can go to a step class at 6pm. It is the same instructor that I had at my last gym and I love his classes so if I get into a regular routine I will keep going. I started on 15th August. Good lord, have you ever done step when you’ve had a few months off!?!?! I thought I was going to die not only was my cardiovascular fitness ridiculously low during the class but the next day I could hardly walk and I mean I literally couldn’t put my heels on the floor my calves were so sore. I wore four inch heels to work on Thursday and Friday and it was bliss!

On Sunday (by the time my legs had recovered) Runner Husband didn’t have his usual football training so I went to Body Max at the gym. I really enjoyed this class and am gutted that I probably won’t be able to go much in the future. They do one on a Saturday but it is a different instructor and I have things to do on a Saturday you know!

So Monday, the Day of Doom, I step on the scales and see the dreaded number. That’s it, I am fed up, I hate myself, I am worthless etc etc. I am going to be good with my eating and also exercising and so I have been. Really good with food all week, no alcohol, no puddings after dinner for me I have been an absolute angel. I started to count points at the beginning of the week but decided I really need to judge for myself what I should and should not be eating. I’ve had loads of fruit as well which is really good as I usually only have the odd banana but I’ve had bananas, melon and apples this week. I went to the step class on Wednesday and although I was still pretty rubbish I was soooooo much better than last week. Yesterday Runner Husband was going to the gym straight from work so when I picked up the Gorgeous One we did an exercise dvd before he came home. It is – another shock – quite nice weather here this week so I only did half an hour but got really hot and sweaty. I did my Biggest Loser 2 dvd. You can select from different work outs to do so I did the warm up, womens cardio max, the boot camp and the cool down. The Gorgeous One did it with no clothes on which I thought was very sensible of her. I, on the other hand, did it with my old worn out gym gear on!

Today I stepped on the scales and it gave me a much better number – I won’t reveal until next week though as four days does not amount to a healthy eating and exercise regime! I need to wait at least a week before I can publish the results!

The weekend will be my biggest challenge. Runner Husband wants pizza tonight, it is in the freezer so I intend to have some with him but I’m not going to do garlic bread or wine and I certainly won’t do dessert. Tomorrow I’m eating out with some friends and I NEED to choose wisely off the menu. We’ll see how I get on and whether the ice cream demons come to get me like they usually do!

Have you heard the news

2007-08-12T03:57:00.000-07:00

I've not been posting for a while I know and quite frankly it is because I've not had anything to say! I've been to the gym a few more times but I think I've fallen into the trap where I'm trying to get going on this running thing and to be quite honest I absolutely hate it so now I don't want to go to the gym because I know I'll have to run when I get there. It is like a viscious circle!!

I NEED to find a class that I enjoy and that I want to go to every week. There is a Street Dance class on a Tuesday night and I asked Runner Husband to assess it for me last Tuesday. He said there were only three people in there and it looked rubbish but the class next door was packed. I officially have an insider at the gym. I'm so glad I sent him on his mission before I wasted an hour of my life on the Street Dance. He has also said he'll get The Gorgeous One for me one night a week so I can go to the gym straight from work. I think my problem is that now I finish earlier I go and get the Gorgeous One from nursery and come home, get changed, watch neighbours and I'm so settled that by the time we put her to bed I'm ready to settle down for the night. I don't want to think about going out again. If I went straight from work I'd be more likely to go there.

My weight is now becoming an issue as it went up quite dramatically last week. I have had a week of being good and it is now back to a more comfortable place (I was looking far too near the 14 stone mark before!)

As for my new job it is great, I absolutely love it. It feels so good to be wanting to go there every day instead of it being a drag. Being so near home is such a bonus too as I come home for lunch most days so I don't feel too guilty about leaving the dog on his own in the house for so long. Work clothing is going well too - the skirt has come out every week - I even wore fishnet tights with it last week. I have gone for the Gok idea of faking it at the moment. I don't feel good but I'm certainly not letting on that I don't and so I am acting like I am totally happy with myself. I think the extra confidence is doing me good.

Another thing I'm also doing - and this may sound weird so I'll start from the beginning. Not my last job but the one before that I was quite messy at work, my desk was a mess and I didn't bother to tidy it that much. I also didn't dress nicely all the time (most of the time but not all of it). There was a girl there who was fab, she always looked amazing and five minutes before she left in the evening she would spend tidying up her desk so it was always spotless and she came into a nice tidy desk each day. When I changed job I decided I wanted to be more like her and so I did the whole tidy thing I loved my clean desk and in fact I was known for it, people even commented that my house must be spotless because I was so well known for my tidiness at work. I didn't get the dress bit though but the tidiness I had.

So at this job I'm going for the whole hog, the tidy desk thing is the norm for me now and my office is always left really tidy at the end of the day. I am also doing the clothes as well. I have not been to work yet without washing my hair, wearing different make up to the day before (you simply can't wear the same make up two days running!) and I always have immaculately clean ironed clothes on. I always wear heels as well. It makes such a difference, people think I'm like this all the time and I really like that.

I think it only works if you're around new people otherwise your current workmates would think you are strange to suddenly start making more effort but in a new place you can totally blag it.

I think I am adding to my fabulousness on a daily basis ... now if I could only get some of this weight off ....

On a totally random non weight-loss related note, the man behind some of Manchester's best music, Tony Wilson, died yesterday. He has been suffering from cancer for some time and died of a heart attack. He was a well known face and name in Manchester and founded our most famous club the Hacienda, as well as Factory Records and introducing the world to bands such as Joy Division, New Order and the Happy Mondays. As a Mancunian I have to say Tony will always be remembered for the putting Manchester and its music well and truly on the map.

Every day's the same

2007-07-21T08:10:00.000-07:00

So I weighed in yesterday and it said I'd put on 2lb - no way!!!!! I couldn't believe it, I had been pretty good over the last week - this was not good. A bit TMI but I hadn't been to the loo for a few todays so after a bit of movement n the evening I weighed in again this morning for the 2lb to have gone so I'm classing this week as a maintain. I've been okay foodwise - not great but here is the good bit ... drumroll please ....

I've been to the gym!!!!!

Yes people I actually went and did a class at the gym. I did combat - it was good, but not great. The teacher had absolutely no personality whatsoever which I think you really need in combat. It was a workout though and I felt good for doing it. In order to keep up with my challenge though I need to go again either today or tomorrow to make it twice this week. I am going to take my ipod and do the running podcast I downloaded months ago which is from couch to 5k. That might be all I do because I'm sure it will kill me but I'd love to get going with running because everyone says it is a great way to shift the fat. Another good thing about my gym is that they have a running track (inside, obviously, we are still having hurricane style rain here in the UK) so I don't have to brave the dreaded treadmill which I broke my elbow on in March - I don't think I'll ever feel safe on a treadmill ever again.

The water challenge is going well so far I've had a glass every day. I know Miss Gloss was disgusted at only one glass for for someone who hates water and is addicted to diet coke this is a breakthrough for me. Going to the gym more regularly should help with this because I do drink water at the gym.

I hope everyone is doing well!! I'm sorry I've not been posting or commenting much, I've simply not been on line as much with the new job, I'm sure I'll get back into it once I settle down.

You know I've got to get busy

2007-07-14T11:20:00.000-07:00

I've been over at Lainey's blog this evening and despite a blip recently she's now back on track and has lost weight two weeks running. I think I'll use her as inspiration and I know I need to get back to the gym.

I have changed my weigh day to a Friday for obvious reasons - I'm good all week and then it goes to pot at the weekends. Last Friday I was 13 stone 7 - this was good because I reckon I went up to 13 stone 9 recently and just didn't update my side bar (I know I'm naughty). The jeans are definitely less painful than they were and I think the muffin top is decreasing, thank the lord for that.

So this week the plan is:
1. Try to be as good as possible.
2. Exercise at least twice (this shouldn't be a problem but I need to set a goal in order to do it).
3. Drink one glass of water every day - I really enjoyed this last time I did it but I'm back on the diet coke and coffee again now and I really need to get back into the habit of drinking more water.

We're lovin' it like that

2007-07-13T11:38:00.000-07:00

Thanks for all your brilliant comments. The new job is going really really well. I am really enjoying myself, it is lovely to have to think at work for a change. The days have been flying by because they've been full.

Food has been going okay - I'm trying to cook more which is good - lots of home made stuff. I've been mainly having fruit for lunch and a proper dinner in the evening.

I am hoping to start at the gym next week as I've just felt too tired this week so it has not been worth going. Once I get back into the routine I will be kicking arse!!!

Wore my skirt today - woo hoo. Think it looked nice, my Mum commented on all the moles on my legs (probably because she's not used to seeing them) but, as predicted, no one else said a word - they don't know that I never wear skirts so why would they comment! I felt lovely and smart all week wearing my new clothes. One of the girls at nursery even commented on how nice I looked which was great - a real confidence boost.

I have ordered Gok's book and it is arriving tomorrow so I should, hopefully, get some more style ideas from that as well.

Things are looking up.

Now if I could only lose that two stone ......

Scared!

2007-07-08T08:09:00.000-07:00

I am now officially ridiculously scared about my new job tomorrow - what if I'm rubbish? What if no one likes me? What if, what if, what if ... I am never usually this bothered about these things I am a stress-free person. I need to calm down!!

I have all my books ready to throw into the back of the car tomorrow - I'm taking them all because I have no idea what type of work I'm going to be asked to do - and I also have a lever-arch full of notes from my last job. Oh and I "took" my stamp which is triple sided and can stamp "urgent" "draft" and "copy". Who can dislike me with such a fabulous stamp? Surely I will be a brilliant addition to any office.

I bought a new suit today - none of the ones I pictures in my last post (sorry about that but thanks for all your comments on them - I am definitely thinking about purchasing both of them soon!). I got a plain black suit from Marks and Spencer - I got the trousers and the skirt so I officially have two suits in one. I also think it is an absolute bargain - suits are so cheap at the moment. A few years ago you'd be looking at spending at least £100 on a suit. I paid £65 for the jacket, skirt and trousers.

I also got three scoop t shirts (black, beige and white), a nice mushroom coloured cardigan and a pink wrap cargidan. I already have my grey suit plus an older black slightly striped one which I can wear so I think I'll be okay for a while. I should be able to mix and match quite well. Don't men have it easy? Runner Husband has two suits and loads of different shirts and ties and that is it!

I'm off now to stress for the rest of the afternoon. If you haven't already done so take a trip over to Marshmallow who has done a great post on fat acceptance. It is a brilliant read, I highly recommend it - and the rest of her blog.

End of an era

2007-07-06T08:14:00.000-07:00

I left my job yesterday. It is such a strange feeling - I have been at that job longer than any of my previous jobs (probably mainly because they let me go back part-time after The Gorgeous One was born and so it was convenient, not because I loved it so much. I am now officially scared about starting my new job on Monday. I have absolutely no clothes to wear and will be purchasing suits on Sunday afternoon (I know it is cutting it fine but as the outlaws are here I don't have much choice).

I have seen two suits I like, I might just get the skirt that matches my current grey suit (the trousers are far too tight at the moment!) that way I have two different ways of wearing the jacket and it feels like two suits (well to me!). Since my bravery at the wedding I thought I'd try to start wearing skirts. Gok claims all women can wear skirts and I think most of it is about attitude. Because I never wore a skirt to my last job if I walked in wearing one last week I would be full of "gosh look at you in a skirt" comments which I couldn't be doing with - I figure this way if I start straight away wearing both skirts and trousers the new people won't know any different and will not think it strange that I am wearing a skirt. I tried this suit on earlier in the week and it looked nice, quite flattering and I like the pleats at the back of the skirt - what do you all think?

I also like the look of this suit - I've not tried it on though but I like the fact there are trousers and a skirt. Any opinions?

I had leaving drinks last night and a friend of mine who has amazing style reckons this is a good plan and I should chill and not worry about the growing muffin top. She is larger than me but always looks fabulous - just goes to show you don't need to be a size 10 to look great. She has a great attitude as well which probably contributes to her fabulousness.

My work were really generous and gave me gift vouchers for a nice department store so I will definitely be purchasing some nice make up very soon. Feels nice to have some money to spend for a change.

Diet-wise still not too good but not horrific either. Need to get back into exercise as that always puts me in the right frame of mind.

Happy Birthday

2007-07-04T09:33:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of posts, I've been a busy bee. I am officially now "in my thirties" how scary is that !!!! Yes, it was my birthday on Friday and Runner Husband was taking me away for the weekend. We get in the car at about 1pm and he is driving and it is a secret where we're going. As soon as we got to the motorway we hit traffic - four hours later we are still in traffic ... bad traffic. Runner Husband eventually tells me we're going to Bath (lovely town I've never been to) and that we're visiting a food festival tomorrow. Ideal birthday surprise for me because as you all know, I love food and cooking. So I'm quite happy with this. We get near to our destination and I'm asked to navigate from some horrendous instructions which just state "turn left" - no road name, no mileage, nothing. So, surprise surprise we get lost. Not helped by Runner Husband not having an address for our location just a name.

Anyway, over six hours later (it should have taken 3.5 to get there!!) we find the place. When I go into the cottage there are banners up and balloons, I go into the lounge and the curtains are shut and there are fairy lights everywhere and balloons and a bottle of pink fizz on ice and a pink drink for The Gorgeous One. There is also a card. I open the card and it is from my three best friends and their partners, they are all coming for the weekend. One of them had already been and set up the cottage! How fab, my first ever surprise and it was amazing!!!
Where we stayed:

They had organised a Pudding Club dinner party for me, a starter, no main course and six, yes six courses of different home made desserts. It was so lovely, I'm still recovering from the shock now.

The food festival on the Saturday was great despite the rain. We got to try loads of lovely food prepared by local restaurants. We also had a few cocktails while we were there. It did rain while we were there but to be honest we were all prepared for it so it didn't matter. Here is The Gorgeous One eating her Eaton Mess at the festival.

I also got some lovely presents for my birthday including a breadmaker from Runner Husband. Some people think that is an awful present but I absolutely love it and have made three loaves already. Not the best for dieting though hey!!

I mainly got money so I could buy clothes for my new job although the shopping for that isn't looking too good as I seem to be a size up - oops!! I think I could squeeze in my current size but it looks awful I'd rather buy a size bigger and look good.

I've eaten and drank far too much over my birthday but you're only 30 once so I was not going to diet. It is my last day at work tomorrow and I'm going out for lunch and having drinks in the evening. I'm also going out for curry tomorrow night - a birthday dinner which I organised to have with my friends (who came away with me but still want to come forcurry too!) so I'm really pigging this week.

The Outlaws are here on Saturday so I will be doing a big dinner for them. Next week I NEED to cut down!!!

I did do an exercise DVD last night though - I am actually aware of how much crap I'm putting into my system and I know that it will not continue forever.

Bigger than ever!

2007-06-26T00:59:00.000-07:00

Well I'm back from my holiday and it was great. We had amazing weather despite the rest of the UK having an awful week weather-wise (we've currently got freak floods everywhere because of the downpours). It was nice to get away from the week - the Gorgeous One is a real beach babe and made us go nearly every day. Unfortunately we didn't sleep well - The Gorgeous One was a bit scared to be in a different room and we were on a farm so it was very dark at night. Since Madeline McCann was snatched from her holiday apartment while she was sleeping this has been on my mind so I was getting up and checking on her about 3 times a night because I was worried someone would come in and I wouldn't hear them.

For anyone who doesn't know Jersey it is in the Channel Islands and is a beautiful place if you're ever visiting the UK you should really try to take a trip over there it is so lovely. I would love to live over there but without being a millionaire you are not permitted to buy property over there until you've lived there for at least 12 years.

Unfortunately, one of the reasons I had such a good time is because we ate out for lunch and dinner every day - not good for the weight!! The picture below is me and the Gorgeous One waiting for our ice cream. As you will see from my side bar I am now heavier than I've been for a long time - nightmare. To be honest though I need a good kick up the bum and this weekend I've had about 6 solid kicks!

On Sunday when I was doing the post-holiday washing I was carrying the washing basket down the stairs when I stood on the dog and went flying. Now I am not a stranger to falling so that was not the problem, oh no, the problem was I ripped my jeans. You heard people JEANS thick denim jeans. The bit at the top of my legs has been going thin for ages because of my humoungous thighs rubbing together but the fall caused them to go completely together with flab spilling out everywhere. So I'm a pair of jeans down now. I then went to get my other jeans and ... they're too tight and I mean tight like can't get them done up. So I wore the ripped jeans all day and didn't leave the house!

Yesterday I was back at work and put on my work trousers (size 16) ... too tight and I mean painful tight with a huge muffin top hanging over the top. I had to wear a long baggy top in an attempt to cover it up and at 2pm I actually had to undo my button because I was in pain from the waistband.

This morning I've tried the jeans on again (no where near) and I am now wearing my winter black combat trousers (they have snowflakes on them) which are tight but not painfully so but they used to be lovely and baggy. I feel and look a right mess. So it is a banana for me this morning for breakfast.

I'm trying to do a bit of a detox after our binging week and thankfully Runner Husband feels the same way and went out yesterday and bought a load of fruit for us to eat and is asking for low fat dinners. So I'm going for fruit and veg during the day and a low fat dinner in the evening. Hopefully the scales will be going down again soon.

It is my 30th birthday on Friday and Runner Husband is taking me away somewhere for the weekend - I need to be able to get some trousers done up comfortably by that time. I was going to have a look for a new top but it is so depressing when you know you're heavier than usual because I don't want to buy a size up.

2007-06-15T05:23:00.000-07:00

Just for HTC this is my chicken tikka masala recipe - it is from a book called Brit Spice.

2tbsp curry or tandori paste
2tbsp natural yoghurt (I use low fat and it is fine)
2 chicken breasts skinned and chopped
3tbsp single cream (I use low fat cream or I just use some more of the low fat yoghurt)
200g can of chopped tomatoes
2tsp peeled and grated root ginger
2 cloves of garlic peeled and chopped
3tbsp olive oil
2 bay leaves (optional)
1 medium onion peeled and chopped
2 red chillies seeded and chopped
1/4 tsp turmeric
1/4 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp ground coriander
1/4 tsp garam masala
25g fresh coriander leaves (optional)

Put the curry/tandori paste into a bowl with the yoghury, stir well then add the chicken pieces and stir again. Put bown in the fridge for 1 - 2 hours.

Preheat oven to 180/350/Gas 4. Put the chicken pieces into an ovenproof dish and bake for 10 mins. Meanwhile, blend together the cream, tomatoes, ginger and garlic in a bowl and set aside.

Heat the oil in a suacepan, add the bay leaves if using and the onion and fry until the onion begins to turn golden brown. Add the chillies, turmeric, paprika, salt, cumin, coriander and garam masala and stir for 1 minutes. Put the chicken pieces and fry for 5 minutes. Then add the tomatoe and cream mixture, cover and cook over a low heat for 5 minutes. The curry should look red and creamy and the texture should be thick and fairly smooth depending on how small you chopped the onions. Add 125ml/5floz of water and cook for another minute (I never add the water). Take off the heat, put into a serving dish and garnish with coriander leaves.

Hope you enjoy it - as I've said I try to use a low fat yoghurt to keep the calories down but it is a really lovely dish and once you've done the marinating and chopping is ready in about 10 mins.