The ramblings of Keane Ingram

January 2026

2026-02-05T09:56:00.003+00:00

I've never struggled after Christmas before. The whole Blue Monday thing, seasonal affective disorder, they've not been an issue. But this January has felt different. I've felt very lonely, not in the sense of not having company as I've seen friends a fair amount, but in the sense of missing having a partner. I know I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy but I miss it. I've spent so much of my life needing that validation so it's taking some time to rewire things.

This week has felt slightly more positive (although it's been expensive, my car's front brake pads and discs needed replacing) so I have to keep building on that. I've been doing a lot of knitting - I've been working on a Geek-A-Long blanket for over two years now! My knitting speed has varied depending on how I'm feeling at the time, but this year has been quicker - I've completed squares 21-23 and I'm now working on the last square.

When I've finished the last square I'll have to figure out how to block the squares and then how to crochet to connect them all together. It'll probably take a while yet!

A long time

2026-01-25T18:58:00.002+00:00

A lot has happened since my last update. The main thing is that my mum had a stroke in October 2024. Unfortunately it was severe and despite seeming to initially recover, she is now completely dependent and living in a nursing home. The last year has been pretty stressful with a lot of time spent in hospitals. It feels like I've been grieving for a while now. I also went back into therapy to deal with my relationship with Mum and the impact it's had on my life.

There have been some positives. The kids are all well, Nicky did well enough in his GCSEs to stay on at the sixth form. After his exams I took him to a Paris for a few days, it was nice to spend some time with him and practice our French!

I also spent a few days in Barcelona and Berlin with friends. I'm hoping I might go on holiday on my own sometime this year if I can afford it, I think it'd be good for my confidence.

2025 threw a lot at me and I didn't do half of what I'd have liked to do. Hopefully I can start making progress on things in 2026.

Catching up

2024-06-05T15:18:00.004+01:00

It's obviously been a while since I wrote here. I keep a private diary which I write in most days, and there's a fair amount there that I'm never making public!

There's far too much to catch up on since Summer 2022. Here are some highlights.

In June 2023 I went to Palomares in Spain. A friend has an apartment out there and I stayed with them, but most of the time I was left to my own devices and travelled solo. I've travelled solo before for work but never for leisure, and it was well outside my comfort zone, especially as my Spanish is limited to asking for a beer or asking where the library is! But I had a nice relaxing time and it gave my self-confidence a much needed boost.

At the end of July I went to Amsterdam with my friend Jon. Had a great time, the highlight was the Van Gogh museum - we were rushed for time as we needed to be at the airport, otherwise I could have stayed there for hours. We also did a boat trip and went to the Body Works exhibit.

I took the kids camping again at Rushbanks and we had a good time, the only downer being the water quality preventing us from swimming - thanks Tories! We're going again this year, hopefully the water will be less polluted. I also took them all to Thorpe Park, it was Rory's first time and he loved it. The highlight was getting on the front row of Stealth with Rory.

Rory passed his 11+ and will be going to the same school as Nicky, which means I won't have to install a whole plethora of other school apps! He also got a higher score than Nicky did, you obviously can't compare year to year but that hasnt stopped Rory from rubbing it in.

This year I've been trying to push myself further out of my comfort zone. The week before Valentines I had booked an IQ test with Mensa, and I decided to make a day out of it. I went to some museums and had lunch on my own. I'd never have done this a few years ago so it felt good. I wasn't feeling 100% for the test - I coughed throughout (I spent several months coughing, it wasn't Covid) but thought I did OK. In the end I just missed out on qualifying for Mensa - my Stanford-Binet score is 131 and Mensa need 132. But it was still a boost to be in the top 3% of the country and I think I'd have done better if I hadn't been coughing so much. I can try again in a year but I don't know that I necessarily need to.

I did a singing workshop which went mostly well, my singing confidence isn't as low as it used to be. I've also joined a cricket team (alcohol makes you agree to some weird things!) and my first game is hopefully on Saturday.

In a turn-up for the books I actually met someone via a dating app and it went really well! We got on brilliantly and it was all very intense. Everything was perfect until it wasn't. She ended it after a month. Usually in this kind of situation I'd blame myself even if I hadn't done anything wrong. But I've not been allowed to, my friends have been there for me. Usually I'd get a range of responses from people but every single person I've told about this says I've done nothing wrong and can't believe it ended for that reason. But such is life. I'm taking advantage of everything being calm, for the first time in a couple of years I'm not worrying or overthinking things.

Summer 2022

2022-09-18T21:35:00.002+01:00

The weather has turned and summer is definitely gone for another year, so I'm writing about it whilst I still remember what has happened!

I took the kids camping at the start of August for four nights. I did relatively well with all the packing, the only things I forgot were things I already owned such as tea bags and ketchup. Thankfully I was camping with generous people! It's one of the best holidays I've ever been on. We camped with some friends and their children, and the children were happy entertaining themselves whilst the adults relaxed. The weather was sweltering but thankfully we could throw ourselves into the river several times a day to cool down. Kitty did us dinner on the first night, demonstrating the skills she has learned at Scout camp.

The holiday was exactly what I needed. It's the first time I've taken the kids away after Covid and after separating, and I think we all really enjoyed it. Being able to end the day just sitting around a fire having a drink or two and talking nonsense was brilliant, it's exactly what I miss from my early days of camping at festivals. I came home feeling more relaxed than I've felt in a very long time.

I took Nicky and Kitty to Thorpe Park - Rory is sadly still too short, hopefully next year he'll be tall enough. We had a great time, although disappointingly Nemesis Inferno stayed closed all day and a lot of the big rides closed near the end of the day.

Our last big outing before the kids went back to school was the Natural History Museum. We had planned to eat at Mei Mei's in Borough Market (Rory is obsessed with Uncle Roger) but unfortunately it was closed due to a plumbing issue, the Rice Guys chicken rice was a decent alternative. It was nice to visit the museum again, last time we went Rory was still in the sling. Dippy was back too.

I've been to a couple of gigs, first up was Everything Everything at Chinnery's who were really good, I didn't know much about them beforehand but I came away a fan. Also at Chinnery's was Marine Metal Fest which was a bit heavier, but also enjoyable.

Recently I've attempted to push outside my comfort zone. First of all I attended a Brazilian dancing lesson, I'm rubbish at dancing and I was the only man so I was feeling pretty anxious, but by the end I'd kind of got the hang of it and really enjoyed it, enough to go back the week after! I also attempted speed dating. Again, I was massively anxious about it but I had a really enjoyable evening. I didn't get any matches but it was nice talking to people, the fact we were all there for the same reason meant there was less pressure in a strange way.

I'm still practicing the bass every day, I've added a few songs to my repertoire with Heroes being the most recent addition. I'm still enjoying drumming too.

My hair is short now (as you can see in the Thorpe Park picture above). I was clearly losing the battle with my thinning hair so decided to go for it. Practically everyone has been complimentary about it. It also saves time when leaving the house!

One year on

2022-07-29T14:27:00.003+01:00

Real life has been getting in the way of writing here. So much has happened yet I've forgotten most of it.

I've been living on my own for over a year now and things are generally going well. The flat mostly looks like how I want it to, and it feels like home. The kids are happy coming here, and being able to split them and give them a break from each other is beneficial for them too. I'm still not fully healed. I'm getting there, my self-esteem and confidence are better than they've ever been, but I still have wobbles. At least now I can identify the wobbles and look after myself.

The kids are doing well. Nicky has just finished year 8 and has made his preliminary GCSE choices which makes me feel very old! Kitty has finished junior school and will start at her preferred school in September, she already made friends on the induction day and is looking forward to it. Rory has just finished year 4 and is also doing really well. He'll start getting ready for the 11+ soon, we're looking for the hat-trick 😁

I'm still keeping reasonably active. I took part in the inaugural RideLondon-Essex 100 and was very happy with my time considering the lack of training - it took me just over 6 hours, with an enforced 30 minute stop whilst we waited for an ambulance ahead. I raised £461 for Samaritans. I'm still doing capoeira and going to the gym. Last weekend I did the Roach Valley Walk again and my legs still haven't forgiven me!

We went to Glastonbury which was a bit weird, obviously being the first one post-Covid and with myself and Anna being separated. I had been very anxious about it but in the end it was mostly good, and it gave me a sense of closure. It was my 13th Glastonbury and quite possibly my last, I'm certainly going to give it a break for a few years. It was terribly crowded this year - the toilet queues are never usually that bad, and there were a couple of crushes where I was genuinely worried about the kids. La Grande Bouffe not being there was also a big disappointment. I saw some great bands however. Paul McCartney was brilliant - it was everything that 2004 was not, with the added bonus of Dave Grohl and Bruce Springsteen! Other highlights were Foals, Pet Shop Boys, Crowded House, Idles, Noel Gallagher and Diana Ross.

I've been learning to play Brazilian drums for almost a year now, I've got the hang of the basics. We've performed a few times at various festivals and we also accompanied the Queen's Baton Relay when it visited the high street. I'm also playing the bass more, now that I have my own space I can have my instruments out and ready to play. I'm currently learning to play Sweet Child o' Mine, everyone obviously knows the lead guitar part but I quite like the bass part.

This year seems to have gone so quickly, it's already the summer holidays. I'm taking the kids camping next week which I'm looking forward to, and we have a few day trips planned as well.

Making progress

2021-11-15T10:54:00.002+00:00

I've now been living on my own for around 5 months and apart from a few wobbles I'm doing reasonably well. Not living surrounded by other people's clutter is great - being able to tidy up as I go along makes me feel much calmer.

There's been the odd bit of stress here and there - Anna caught Covid a couple of weeks ago so I had the kids for 10 days whilst she self-isolated, it was a bit stressful making sure they had all their school stuff in the right place and that I had enough food, etc. but it was nice spending time with them.

Kitty passed her 11+ so hopefully should get a place in her chosen school. In the end she got a better score than Nicky did, something she is very happy to remind him of! She hasn't had the easiest year so it was a big relief and I'm very proud of her.

I've been keeping reasonably active. For a friend's 40th birthday we walked all 23 miles of the Roach Valley Way in July (with a few pub stops en route!) I could barely walk afterwards but it was a brilliant day out. I also did the London-Southend bike ride in September which was just over 50 miles, my cycling fitness needs some work but I didn't have any problems completing the distance (or with the hills - I'm sure there wasn't so much climbing last time I did it!)

Just this weekend Kitty, Nicky and I received our new capoeira cords as part of our academy's batizado. I've moved up three levels and now have a full orange cord, Nicky is still one level ahead of me though. It was an exhausting weekend but I really enjoyed and whilst I'm still not especially comfortable talking to people I definitely didn't feel as anxious as I normally would surrounded by new people.

I've been to see the Manics twice recently - once in Cardiff (which had been rescheduled from December 2020) and once in Kingston where Nicky Wire did a short interview and then James did a short acoustic set. The first gig was very cathartic, my first Manics gig in nearly two decades without Anna (she was supposed to come but couldn't make it due to childcare issues - despite the separation we are still getting on) and it was almost a sign of things getting back to normal. The acoustic gig was brilliant - he played a couple of new songs but also played some rarities - it's the first time I've seen Donkeys, and Prologue to History is always brilliant.

A new beginning

2021-07-12T18:16:00.007+01:00

It's been forever since my last update, and so much has happened.

At the start of May, Anna and I agreed to separate. Our relationship had been dysfunctional for a long time and if it hadn't been for the kids it probably would have happened much sooner. Things are amicable between us, we still want to remain friends (we still like each other and want to be good role models for the kids). Telling the kids was the hardest thing we've had to do, Kitty in particular did not take it well, but the three of them have been pretty resilient and seem to be doing well now.

I moved out at the start of June - luckily, the flat I'm renting is just down the road from the old house, so I can see the kids most days, still take them to school, etc. I've almost got everything packed and moved and unpacked. It felt like I had so much stuff to move over but compared to the amount of other stuff in the house it was tiny 😆

Physically I have recovered from the breathless issues that were plaguing me at the start of the year, I've been able to start exercising properly again and have been for a few bike rides recently. Mentally I'm in a far better place now, I'm looking forward to coming off the tablets and I've finished seeing my therapist. I've realised that there are positive things about me and that I have good people around who care about me. I've made friends and my self-confidence has improved. I've made more of an effort to see people and feel so much better for it.

I'm enjoying having control again, especially over my living space - it's tidy! The kids have not brought a great deal of stuff over yet but they're well aware that they have to keep things tidy. I think they're mostly used to living in two places now, and that we're still a family even though we don't live together - for example, Anna and the kids came to mine last night to watch the final, and we still meet up to watch various Marvel things.

In the middle of June I went up to Scotland with some friends to climb Ben Nevis. Having never climbed a mountain before and with the aforementioned fitness issues, I was quite worried about it, but it turned out that I found getting up the mountain was pretty easy. Unfortunately one of our group hurt their knee and had to turn around about a third of the way up, he was adamant that he could get back on his own so the rest of us continued. The scenery was amazing, it's so pretty up there. We were lucky that the clouds cleared just as we got to the top.

Getting down the mountain was an entirely different story. Five minutes after starting the descent I felt my right IT band getting sore, and I knew from then on that the rest of the way down was going to be difficult. My left IT band followed suit about halfway down. I was fine on flat ground or going up, but obviously on the way down there wasn't much of this! I didn't really feel tired, so my general fitness must have been OK, but I've had IT band issues before. I think I'll start looking for a physio at some point, because my right calf has been playing up forever as well. The right calf at least held up until pretty close to the bottom of the mountain. I'm so glad I bought walking poles! Having fully recovered now we're all looking forward to our next expedition, which might possibly be Scafell Pike.

All the children have had excellent school reports. Nicky seems to be thriving at the grammar school, and the next thing to focus on is helping Kitty pass the 11+ - in normal times I think she wouldn't have needed any help, but the school have not been able to help as they did with Nicky due to Covid.

All is clearly not right with the world, but on a personal level I'm feeling reasonably content for the first time in a long time.

Good Riddance to 2020

2020-12-31T17:17:00.002+00:00

I'm not optimistic that 2021 will be any better than 2020, but as this has been the worst year of my life I will not look back fondly on any part of it.

Christmas being cancelled was not great, especially as anyone with half a brain cell could tell what was going to happen, new variant of Covid or not. If they'd closed the schools at half term or even two weeks before Christmas then we could have had one day of normality, but no. We're in tier 4 so have nothing to look forward to. On the plus side, the kids got me this cool onesie!

I've been breathless for the last three weeks, which I'd put down to a cold, but perhaps it's something more sinister - it coincided with Nicky being off school as one of his classmates tested positive, and Nicky developed "Covid toe". He tested negative for Covid but I think he must have had it at some point. I've been prescribed an inhaler and have a Covid test here ready to use on Saturday (after the bank holiday). The inhaler has helped, but I still have to rest. The lack of exercise is driving me crazy, and given I was already depressed it's not good at all.

This is normally where I'd write a list of things I want to achieve in 2021, but right now I'd settle for being healthy (physically and mentally) again.

Struggling

2020-10-26T20:01:00.001+00:00

It's been many months since my last update. I have not been in a good place, partly due to lockdown but mostly down to my life. I've started therapy and am taking anti-depressants, which have made a world of difference - I've gone from crying and shaking for no reason to being able to function like a normal person. I've come to realise that I've probably been depressed for a long time, and hadn't previously known what being a "normal" person was like. I'm able to do things that previously I'd have been to tired to do.

The last year has obviously been shit. Glastonbury cancelled, holiday cancelled, unable to see friends and family (I'd still like to claim my 40th birthday didn't count this year). Thankfully no-one we know has been directly affected by Covid-19 and things are relatively normal with the kids back at school. Nicky has settled in well at his new school and Kitty and Rory are glad to be back with their friends.

The uncertainty ahead is the worst thing. Brexit is obviously going to be a shitshow, especially with the current clowns in charge, and coupled with the pandemic it's difficult to think that things will get better any time soon. Being on antidepressants is very helpful at dealing with current affairs!

We have managed a few trips despite the current situation. We went to Hampton Court Palace for Anna's birthday which was very interesting. We had a weekend away at a caravan park in Walton-on-the-Naze which was dreadful, and we had a great few days at Rushbanks Farm in Suffolk - we'll definitely be going back!

Lockdown

2020-04-22T21:27:00.001+01:00

So it's been quite a while since I last wrote here - been a few things going on in the real world! So many plans for 2020 have already fallen by the wayside due to Covid-19. I realise people are dying and becoming seriously ill, and I recognise that we're in lockdown for a reason, so all of the below is basically first world problems in comparison.

I'm still keeping up with my daily French Duolingo lessons (I've missed a few days but currently on a 53-day streak) but it seems very unlikely we'll be travelling to France any time soon. All that time and money spent getting passports was wasted!

We have several things planned which have already been cancelled/postponed: Glastonbury is the big one, but we were going to see Phil Wang and Mik Artistik, and we had a trip to Kelling Heath booked at the end of May which is almost certainly going to be cancelled as well.

Day-to-day life is different due to the lockdown: my work is still exactly the same, luckily, but now the kids are at home it makes things a bit difficult as Anna still needs to study as well. Going shopping now almost seems like doing something a bit naughty, even though I only go once a week - mainly to make sure the car battery is kept topped up. Strangely, since the lockdown started I've started cycling much more frequently, trying to get out every 2 or 3 days. I can no longer go to capoeira or boot camp so cycling is fulfilling my exercise needs. My bike needs a new chain and cassette unfortunately so the gears are a bit annoying at the moment, hopefully the parts will arrive soon!

I'm trying to think of what I've actually done since my last diary entry - I've been so distracted by Covid-19 that I've not kept it up to date. Looking back at my Twitter feed, it seems I was ill at the start of January. I think it's actually been one continuous cold since December, which still hasn't fully shifted - I still have a slight cough, not ideal in the current circumstances! It's a productive cough though so I know it's not indicative of Covid-19.

Liverpool were doing brilliantly if we ignore the cup competitions, with the league practically confirmed, so the possibility of voiding the season is irritating.

I haven't kept up with playing the bass every day, although I do play the guitar every now and then. Since we've been watching Frank Turner's live streams every Thursday I've learned some of his songs (the easy ones!)

I've started a new role with work, still working from home but in a different position. It's been very busy the last few weeks (which would have been the case even with the lockdown), I'm hoping it'll calm down next week.

We went to London for Kitty's birthday to see Comedy Club 4 Kids. Looking back at being able to go out for a day trip seems like a lifetime ago! The kids really enjoyed the show, and we also visited Forbidden Planet and House of Spells for everyone to get their geek on. I managed to escape Forbidden Planet without spending anything!

The day after I took Nicky to see Babymetal at the Apollo. We've become massive fans since seeing them at Glastonbury last year, and this was to say well done to Nicky for doing the 11+. It was a great show, although it felt weird to be sitting down at a gig. I look forward to Nicky getting older and bigger so we can go down the front! Nicky really enjoyed it, it was his first actual gig after many Glastonbury visits.

Nicky got a place at his first choice school which was a relief after waiting so long after the 11+ results. Unfortunately I'm guessing most of the work they do to smooth the transition from primary school to seconday school probably won't take place.

Anna and I went to see Frank Turner. It felt weird at the time as the lockdown was just about forcing everything to cancel/postpone, and in the end I think it ended up being the last show of this tour. It felt like a few people had stayed away, but maybe it would have felt like that anyway as the show was completely acoustic so not as loud as usual. Both support acts were great (they always do seem to be good at a Frank Turner show) and the main event was really good.

Since then life has been pretty stressful as we get used to lockdown. We've been trying to keep some kind of schedule for the kids so they're still learning something, even if it isn't strictly academic. There's not much more we can do really, we're luckier than most as I'm still working as before and we had plenty of food in the house beforehand. This experience has taught us what might need to be added to the stockpile - we already had toilet roll, but yeast and flour are important!

2020

2020-01-06T16:12:00.001+00:00

Christmas is over, the kids are back at school - I'm very glad things are back to normal and I can now remember what day it is! I'm not a fan of Christmas. If it were up to me, I'd hide myself away somewhere warm and try and ignore it, but I try and make an effort for the kids.

We went for our annual grandmothers + kids trip to the pantomime, this time my brother and niece came along for their first pantomime trip. They both loved it, my niece especially was screaming throughout and cackling away. I'm sure we'll all be going again next Christmas!

For the first time in a decade we didn't have Christmas at ours, instead we went to Anna's parents. It meant things were a bit less stressed as we didn't have to do all the dinner preparations, etc. We were woken up very early after going to bed very late (thanks Kitty!) but the kids were all happy with their presents. I got a great Bottom-related mug from Anna:

It was also the first time in a decade that I took time off over Christmas, but I don't feel any more relaxed for it - in fact, it'd probably have been more relaxing if I could have escaped to my desk each day!

The kids' main present was a trip to Alexandra Palace to see Peter Pan Goes Wrong - they loved it when it was on the BBC a few years ago and they have watched it enough times that they can quote the whole thing off by heart.

The show was great - it's very impressive how the actors can pretend to be so bad! It's pretty similar to the BBC production so the kids were very happy.

I've got a couple of new year's resolutions which I've been keeping so far. First is to do Duolingo every day - I want to brush up my French skills before our holiday in France in July. Secondly I want to play an instrument every day. I've treated myself to a new bass guitar, an Ibanez GSR200, which is so much nicer to play than the Encore I was using before. I've started using Yousician again and am really enjoying it, but managed to get a blister yesterday!

I also want to get fitter and lose a bit of weight, also related to the holiday - for some reason French swimming pools are strict with their allowed attire so I don't want to look too bad in budgie smugglers! I've still also got the vague notion of doing a triathlon before I'm 40 (just over 10 months to go now), hopefully once the cold I've got has gone I can start trying to run again.

A crap month

2019-12-18T16:17:00.001+00:00

The trouble with not posting for ages is that I forget what has happened since my last update. However, having looked back at my tweets in the time period, it's probably for the best that I forgot.

I've been ill twice since my last post, but I was well for a relatively short period in between so it feels like I've been ill for ages. The second cold was particularly nasty and I still have a horrible cough which won't quite go away.

We eventually managed to get campervan tickets for Glastonbury, again despite the best efforts of the Seetickets webserver. After multiple attempts and purchases we finally have two separate tickets for the quiet East field for ourselves and a friend. Now we just need to get the caravan ready!

I had someone being racist towards me in the high street last month. It's been a long time since this last happened and I was more shocked than anything, I was just standing there talking to someone when the idiot tapped me on the shoulder and started pretending to be Chinese. I hadn't planned to do anything about it but was advised by several people to report it to the police, unfortunately they couldn't do anything due to a lack of evidence but it was nice to be taken seriously. It's times like this that I'm glad the kids don't really look Chinese.

I had some fun and games dealing with Go Outdoors. I went into one of their stores and paid for a mountain bike, which I was assured would be delivered to store so they could assemble it for me to pick up. A few days later I received an email (not even a phone call or text) to tell me that the product was out of stock and that I had to return to the store to process the refund. It seems ridiculous that the store can't determine if an item is in stock before taking a customer's money, especially when it is several hundred pounds worth. There then followed communications between myself and their customer services which led to me being accused of lying in the store, but this has now been resolved. It really puts me off going back there again though. In the end I bought a Scott mountain bike online, which I wrote about on my cycling blog.

We went to see Idles at Alexandra Palace a couple of weeks ago. Anna is a massive fan, myself not so much but I've liked what I've heard. I was ill in the lead-up and was worried I wouldn't have the energy to survive the set. In the end I managed 70 minutes in the mosh pit and was absolutely drenched afterwards! Other than Rage Against the Machine at Reading 2008 it was best mosh pit I've been in. The band were on great form, I especially liked Danny Nedelko.

The less said about the election, the better. At least I will never have to hear "oh, Jeremy Corbyn" again, it has always irritated me that there aren't enough syllables for it to scan properly. Hoping that the Labour Party choose someone a bit more electable this time, although at least this time around I will get a say!

We took the kids to Audley End last Friday for their Enchanted Audley End Christmas event. There were a lot of pretty lights and it felt a lot more civilised than previous Christmas things we've done. The kids enjoyed the rides and toasting marshmallows.

A mostly good month

2019-11-01T19:50:00.001+00:00

Another month goes by without an update. I guess after spending all day using a PC I don't want to sit down with one in the evenings, especially now I can just mess about with a smartphone or tablet.

The good news from the start of the month is that we got Glastonbury tickets! It was as stressful as ever with multiple screens not even able to connect to the server, let alone getting to the holding page. We got through at 9.24 only for the page to crash halfway through the process, but luckily we had another device at the ticket page so we were successful. Nine minutes later they were all gone. I look forward to seeing the rumours for the line-up!

I took Nicky to see Southend United play against AFC Wimbledon. It was our first visit to Roots Hall for a while and I can't see us going back for a while - it was simply dreadful. They were 2-0 down in 10 minutes and barely any of the Southend players (Elvis Bwomono being a notable exception) seeming that interested. It was 4-1 at full time. I don't see how Sol Campbell will make any difference - he might fancy playing himself given how bad the defence was!

The long and nervous wait for the 11+ results ended successfully! I didn't get any sleep the night before, I kept refreshing the page in case the results were put online early. In the end they were available at 8.30am, thankfully just before Nicky went to school. He scored 325 with an in-catchment pass mark of 303, he did brilliantly in the maths. Now we just need to wait until March to hope he has a place at his preferred school - we had a look around last week and I think he'll love it there.

I went to see Melt-Banana in Camden with a friend, we caught up with an old friend from university which was great as we hadn't seen him for a while. The support act were Deaf Kids who were... interesting. The singer didn't sing so much as groan into a microphone and then play with effects. It was very loud! The drummer was brilliant, I have no idea how he could play so energetically for so long.

I had listened to a few Melt-Banana albums but was a little unsure about what to expect. In the end though I really liked it, I recognised a few songs and the overall sound was great. I loved the way the singer politely said "thank you" after every song.

The venue (Dingwalls) has various tiers heading away from the stage, so unless you're at the front of the tier your view is a little impeded. It's probably the first time where I've had someone taller than me in front of me - usually I'm fine but this time I had to keep looking around the man in front.

I went with Nicky to see the Six Day Cycling at the Lee Valley velodrome. We've been for four years now and have enjoyed it each time, although there were some complaints this time which I'll talk about on my cycling website.

Delayed

2019-10-02T17:07:00.005+01:00

The days and weeks have flown by since my last blog post - I hadn't realised it had been more than two months. Looking back at my Twitter feed, I don't really seem to have done much of note - it's mainly despair at the political shenanigans currently taking place (or not!) in this country.

We've postponed making a decision about the caravan until after this Sunday when Glastonbury tickets go on sale. For the time being I'm storing it up at Mum's house as she has space next to the house. If we do get tickets for Glastonbury then we'll keep the caravan at least until then, if not then we'll have to reconsider. I'm trying not to think about the ticket sale as I'll just get stressed about it!

We stayed in a static caravan in Clacton at the start of September, as we were going to a family party. It was a different caravan park to the one we normally go to it, it was nice enough but it was very quiet - to be expected at that time of year I guess. We went to the entertainment on the Friday evening and won a prize - Nicky and Rory being very loud came in handy for once, we won a bottle of Chardolini which I'm sure will taste wonderful(!)

Nicky did his 11+ a couple of weekends ago. He thinks he did OK, it's difficult to tell how he did but we're hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. We visited a local school last week which was nice enough, just maybe a little too far to be practical but they do run a bus service.

The only other thing to note is that my bike lock got stuck a few weeks ago - the key went in and turned round but the lock would not disengage. Luckily this was at home rather than out and about! I bought some bolt cutters which made light work of cutting the lock - it was done in a couple of minutes, so probably not the most secure! I'm pretty sure it was a Sold Secure silver lock as well. I'll have to get a replacement at some point - it's mainly for locking the bikes up at home, they're currently locked in the shed anyway.

Last weekend was the 40th birthday of one of my best friends - makes me feel old, even though I still have a year to go until life apparently begins. I really want to do a triathlon before I'm 40 so am going to try and get going with the running. If my right calf keeps playing up I'm going to have to bite the bullet and find a physio - it's been like this for over two years now.

Village Green and back to Somerset

2019-08-06T21:02:00.001+01:00

Village Green is a local festival which this year took place on13th July. This year was exciting for me as it was my first as part of the BrazilArte tribe. We were scheduled to perform a few times on and near the Global Village stage as well as a parade through the site. We got free VIP entry which allowed us to go backstage and take advantage of the private (and cheaper) bar as well as deckchairs and tables. Very refined!

A rather large deckchair

Most of my time was spent drumming - I'd remembered my ear plugs but forgotten to put them in, I won't be making that mistake again! My right index finger was also a little sore towards the end. It was great fun though, especially the final parade through the site where we joined forces with the other acts from the Global Village Stage. We also did some capoeira, mostly solo - I was a bit too enthusiastic in my solo and was pretty dizzy by the end of it!

It was a pretty long day and by the time our performances were over we were tired, so we didn't hang around for Fun Lovin' Criminals or Busted. It was a really fun day though and I hope to do it again next year.

Holiday

We've just come back from a week in Somerset. We stayed at Warren Farm in Brean, we'd previously stayed there before in 2014 when it was very, very wet - we were hoping for a bit more sun this time, especially as we'd brought the holiday forward a week from when we normally went away. We were mostly lucky, there was one day which was very wet and windy - I was worried that the awning would blow away in the night. One of our neighbours lost their awning roof during the day as it was so windy, and there were a few snapped flagpoles. Luckily all of our things survived intact.

It wasn't a relaxing week but the kids had a good time, and things are slightly easier now that the kids are older. We took their bikes and they happily did laps around the campsite. We only had one day at the beach, Kitty especially enjoyed sitting on an inflatable and riding the waves. We did try a second beach visit but the wind was blowing the sand into our faces (I couldn't even get the windbreak to stay put as it was so windy!) so we gave up.

We visited Glastonbury town on the Saturday and had a look around the Abbey, before heading to the top of the Tor. It looked really steep but wasn't too bad, and the view from the top was great.

On the Monday we had a walk around Pilton and took a quick look at the Glastonbury Festival website. Everything had pretty much gone except for the Pyramid Stage which at that point was still fully clothed (they started removing the covering a few days after). The kids had a quick play on the castle in the Kidz Field. Everything looked so much smaller without all the stalls and people, it was very strange. After leaving here we headed to Wells where I caught up with my uncle and cousin.

Tuesday (the very wet day) was spent at Longleat. It was a bit quieter because of the weather but it wasn't too bad, most of the rain came when we were on the safari bus. We got to feed giraffes and see the monkeys climbing on other people's cars! After this we did the maze - we got to the centre surprisingly quickly. We also went on the boat trip and I had a quick look around Longleat House - I'd been hoping to catch a glimpse of the "Fallen Madonna" from 'Allo 'Allo but sadly it didn't seem to be on display anywhere.

Our last day on holiday was Anna's birthday, which coincided with a visit by Sooty to Brean Theme Park. We spent the day in the theme park - Kitty finally discovered that she actually does like rides and went on the Caterpillar roller coaster numerous times. Rory was not impressed by the ghost train but loved the Sky Diver. We all enjoyed the bumper cars but my favourite was the go-karts. Hopefully next time Nicky will be tall enough to drive one, this time we had to have a twin.

It might be our last trip in the caravan - it's falling apart and the storage costs are being more than trebled in October, so we're looking to get a tent instead. It's served us well and I'm a little sad to be getting rid of it, but it's not practical to keep it and I really hate towing it! Having a tent will allow us to go a bit further afield and maybe even to the continent.

Glastonbury 2019

2019-07-06T19:58:00.001+01:00

A one-word summary of Glastonbury 2019: hot!

We set off for Pilton as soon as the kids were out of school. There was an accident the other side of the QE2 bridge so we had to go anti-clockwise around the M25 and deal with the rush-hour traffic. Once we hit the M3 things were much easier and the long drive down the A303 wasn't too bad. The Avensis seemed to deal with the Somerset hills much better than the Galaxy did in previous years. We were onsite around 9pm and all pitched up around 11ish.

I had been anxious in the lead-up to Glastonbury about two things: the weather and the queue to get in. The weather forecast had changed from thunderstorms to scorchio which was one less thing to worry about (heat isn't pleasant but it beats mud), but I had been dreading the queue to get in on Wednesday morning. In 2017 the queues were ridiculously long and we only avoided them because the staff didn't want the kids to get heatstroke. The Wednesday this year wasn't quite as warm so we wouldn't have been able to skip the queue, but miraculously we were almost able to walk straight up to the gate at 10.30am. A few minutes later and we were in! This was my twelfth Glastonbury and there's still very little else to compare with the feeling of getting that wristband on and having the entire festival awaiting you.

We followed the now-traditional Wednesday plan: Pyramid Stage to get t-shirts, West Holts for pear cider and La Grande Bouffe, then the dragon and the Greenpeace Kids field.

Kitty did some climbing at the Greenpeace field and Nicky and Rory wanted to go on the drop slide - Rory didn't want to at the last minute and I don't blame him in the slightest! I had my heart in my mouth a little when Nicky did it:

The festival started properly with Mik Artistik's Ego-Trip on the Croissant Neuf Bandstand. Rory was very excited and waving his small plastic fox in the air, even after they'd actually done Plastic Fox! I got a couple of autographs afterwards, one on a CD and one on my t-shirt which I'd made especially!

Thursday was the first really hot day. I put on SPF 50 cream and didn't burn, but did get a nasty heat rash on my inner arms which stayed for the rest of the festival. I have got a decent tan now though! We started at the Circus and Theatre field where we watched some trapeze and Nicky had a go at the bubble football:

The Kidz Field opened shortly after so we headed there for a while, it was very, very busy. The kids had a blast though, trying out the rides, the mobile cave and the recording studio. Afterwards we headed up to Glastonbury-on-Sea, although by this stage I just wanted to sit down so I looked after the bike trailer whilst everyone else checked it out. I did get a stick of rock though:

Friday was another swelteringly hot day, and I moved around far less than I would have done normally (apparently I walked over 70km all week, over 100,000 steps). First up were Bjorn Again on the Pyramid Stage which was a nice fun way to start proceedings. I hadn't expected them to do Jump by Van Halen!

There wasn't really that much I wanted to see on Friday and the heat meant we spent a lot of time in the shade. We spent more time in the Kidz Field before returning to the Pyramid Stage for Bastille. I only knew one song, I wasn't that excited about them. I stayed with the younger two and Anna's mum to see George Ezra whilst Anna and Nicky went to see Idles. George Ezra was entertaining and pleasant enough, I would rather have been elsewhere though (this was the worst clash for me, Ezra/Idles/Let's Eat Grandma/Nish Kumar). Afterwards we took the younger two back to the caravan with Anna's mum so that we could take Nicky to see Frank Turner play the Avalon Stage. We turned up with around 30 minutes to go but the tent was already rammed and we were right on the edge:

The set was really good but I took Nicky out near the end as he was getting tired. It's a shame Frank Turner was in such a small venue, he could easily have played one of the bigger venues such as the Acoustic or John Peel stages.

Saturday was yet another hot day which started at the Pyramid Stage for the Proclaimers. The crowd was a bit smaller than for Bjorn Again, I guess the heat and the previous night's activities might have left more than a few people sleeping it off! It was good fun though.

We headed to the Circus field again as the children were signed up to try the trapeze, although Rory wasn't allowed to in the end as they didn't have a small enough harness for him. The other two gave it their best shot though:

View this post on Instagram

Kitty and Nicky having a go at the trapeze #glasto

A post shared by Keane Ingram (@keaneingram) on Jun 29, 2019 at 8:16am PDT

The next act I wanted to see was Johnny Marr on the Other Stage, whilst Anna took Kitty to see Lizzo. Johnny Marr was really good, it was nice to hear Smiths songs without feeling embarrassed about the singer (and I think he sounded better than Morrissey anyway) and his guitar playing was obviously brilliant.

Next up was Liam Gallagher on the Pyramid Stage. I ventured further forward with Nicky and my friend Adrian, and ended up next to the lighting desk:

One of the security guards was great and allowed Nicky to stand on a step on the other side of the barrier (although I did get a slight ticking off when he jumped down to throw an inflatable ball back), it meant he could see and was safe. It wasn't too packed really but it made me less anxious. Liam's set was predictable: the Oasis songs were very well received whilst the solo stuff left everyone talking to each other.

We headed right to the back for The Killers. I obviously known a few Killers songs but hadn't been expecting much - I think I might have seen them in 2007 when the sound was terrible but I can't remember. In the end they turned out to be great, I knew pretty much every song and Brandon Flowers was clearly enjoying it. They also had some great special guests with the Pet Shop Boys and Johnny Marr joining them!

Sunday started with me packing up the awning and helping Anna's mum load up her car - it was miles away which was slightly annoying as she was one of the first ones on site, you'd think they'd let the early arrivals park closer! Never mind. First band of the day was Slaves on the Other Stage:

I thought they were a bit disappointing - their set was quite short and they didn't do "Cheer Up London", much to Rory's disappointment!

Next up were Babymetal. I'd listened to them beforehand and found that I loved them, and had been hoping they'd be as good live. I wasn't disappointed! The crowd was a little sparse as everyone had headed to the Pyramid Stage early for Kylie, so I could go reasonably far forward with the boys.

I thought they were brilliant, and am seriously considering taking Nicky to see them when they tour next year. Rory enjoyed it too.

At the end we dashed off to the Pyramid Stage for Kylie - Anna had gone ahead to stake out some space and we luckily had a small space on the edge of the path at the back. I don't think I've ever seen the Pyramid Stage so busy, not even for the Stones, Dolly Parton or Lionel Richie. I was ready with my homemade Kylie t-shirt :-)

Kylie was great, although it was a little disappointing that we didn't get Jason for Especially For You (I had been singing it all weekend, much to everyone's chagrin!) Afterwards it was absolutely packed getting out, it took me about twenty minutes to get down the hill even after I waited fifteen minutes.

We had one last visit to the Greenpeace Kids field before heading back to the Pyramid for Vampire Weekend and The Cure.

Both bands sounded great but neither are really my thing, so it was difficult to get excited (it didn't help that I stopped drinking after Kylie in preparation for the next day's drive). It was great when The Cure played the songs I knew, but it was a little disappointing that they didn't do Love Cats.

The journey home the next day was predictable (why does it always jam up at Stonehenge? They should build a bypass somewhere) and very frustrating. An Eddie Stobart lorry decided to reverse into the front of my car at Fleet services, luckily only doing cosmetic damage - their driver was less than helpful and I'm hoping their insurance team will do what's right.

I'm far fitter than I was in 2017 and I could notice the difference - rather than taking a week to recover, I was back at the gym the next morning and not suffering too much. The extra strength helped when pushing the trailer around all week!

The car

2019-06-20T18:50:00.001+01:00

On the 1st April I came out of capoeira to discover a police car with blue lights flashing and blocking the road. I saw a couple of cars smashed together and thought 'oh dear, I hope my car's OK'. Sadly not - I turned the corner to find this:

Somehow, the person responsible (a former driving instructor, the police told me) mistook his accelerator for his brake and when turning in the road he instead drove straight into my car. The car behind me was also damaged. I still don't understand how exactly he damaged two cars that were parked at the side of the road.

This happened around ten minutes before I came out - I'm thankful for this as I had the boys with me and they would have been in the back or getting in. Luckily my capoeira instructor was around to take the boys home, whilst I stayed to call my insurance company and deal with the aftermath. The other driver was still there dealing with the police - he admitted liability but I didn't get a single apology out of him. My insurance company arranged for someone to pick up the car but somewhere along the way a postcode was changed and I got a call from someone in Bristol looking to pick me up. In the end I had to wait five and a half hours for the car to be picked up which was not a happy time - my phone battery was practically dead and I was tired and sweaty after capoeira. I finally got home at 12.30 after the tow truck driver kindly offered to drop me off en route.

The main thing I've learned from this experience is that you'd better hope that a driver that hits you isn't insured by the Co-op. The car was a write-off (there was structural damage). I wasn't happy with the amount offered (I'd had the car less than six months and paid £7,000 for it, I'd driven less than 2,000 miles and had a new towbar and front tyres fitted in the previous two weeks) - they originally offered £5,300 which was increased to £5,830. I still felt this was unfair (the towbar and tyres had cost arouund £500) so escalated it from the third-party claims company to the Co-op themselves. They were extremely unhelpful and the person I spoke to was very patronising when telling me that they had 'treated me fairly' and I couldn't escalate it any further. They kept parroting the 'treated you fairly' line even after I asked them to stop saying it. I don't think I've ever been angrier than when I got off that phone call. Imagine having a job which involved you ripping off people as much as possible and gaining satisfaction from it?

There was nothing I could do about it short of going to court, and I had neither the time, money or patience to take it further, so I accepted the £5,830 payment and vowed never to shop with the Co-op ever again. I'll have to return my membership card at some point.

I now have a replacement car which is similar to the first car but with more mileage and a lesser trim. I also had to get another towbar fitted. I reckon the whole experience has cost me £1,600, and all I have to show for it is a new definition of the word 'fair' and a brand new addition at the top of my vendetta list (the Co-op).

A busy May

2019-05-31T19:09:00.000+01:00

The car situation has been sorted out, but I think it merits a separate post. I will get angry writing about it and am in a relatively good mood right now, so it can wait!

May has been a busy month. First up was a trip to the Harold Pinter Theatre to see Betrayal starring Tom Hiddleston, Charlie Cox and Zawe Ashton. This was Anna's Christmas present (she is a teeny bit of a Hiddleston fan) and I was lucky enough to get tickets when they went on sale. Our tickets were 'cheap' (£40) because we were in the back row with a pillar in the way:

It didn't make too much of a difference but it seems like a strange design for a theatre. I thought the play was very good with all three stars putting on a good performance. Afterwards it became clear that sitting in the back row was actually a tactical masterstroke from myself(!), because it meant we could get into the queue at the stage door reasonably quickly. There were I think three other men in the queue with me which probably tells you who everyone was waiting to see! All three actors came out to sign autographs or take a selfie, I managed to get selfies with Charlie Cox and Tom Hiddleston!

After the excitement was over we had a nice meal at Wahaca and headed home.

We headed back to London the weekend after to see the Manics at the Shepherd's Bush Empire. I've lost count of how many times I've seen the Manics, I think it's around 22 now. Things have definitely changed since I first went to see them. Instead of queueing to be at the barrier or having a drink, we went for our now ritual pre-gig Wagamamas and then sat in an M&S café wondering if we were too old for this! It didn't help that they were playing This is My Truth Tell Me Yours in its entirety, I have fond memories of the album but it's not something to get excited about.

The support act was Gwenno, who was OK - I liked the cheese song at the end! The interval was as long as ever and the standing area was packed - getting to and from the toilets was an adventure in itself. Finally, the Manics came on stage and we realised that no, we're not too old for this and the Manics are still brilliant!

The photos are slightly better quality on Flickr, but I didn't take that many this time.

If I were to rank albums in order of number of listens, I'm sure TIMT would be near the top. It takes me back to being 18 again, how simple things were back then (even though I didn't realise it at the time!) It was great to hear Prologue to History for the first time, and I can also tick off SYMM.

The second part of the set was brilliant. SLEEPFLOWER! It made such a difference to not only be near the front, but everyone around us was clearly a) a fan and b) wanted to enjoy themselves, so there was much jumping around. I'm definitely feeling older now but I guess most Manics fans are too (I was wearing earplugs and I spotted a few other pairs around me). They played some of my favourite songs (Tristesse, No Surface All Feeling) and I always forget just how good Your Love Alone is. It was exactly what I needed after a crap couple of months, very cathartic!

Last weekend was my first capoeira festival. I've been doing it for about six months now, at times I feel great and other times I feel very inadequate, but it's fun. I learned a lot from the capoeira mestres and earned my first cord, as did Rory. Nicky now has an orange cord, although he has been doing it for several years!

So we're nearly into June. We've got a weekend away in the caravan next weekend to test everything out, then it'll be Glastonbury time :-)

A bad month

2019-05-03T19:28:00.001+01:00

It's been a long time since my last update, mainly due to someone writing my car off at the start of April. I don't want to write too much about it as I've not agreed the value of the car yet, but needless to say I am not happy about it.

The last month has been a real struggle mentally, mainly down to the car issue. I've always had a real issue with car trouble, which I think stems from the days when I used to commute long distance to work - any car problems would mean I was stranded. I still have the same anxieties now even though I work from home. I had a few weeks of not being able to sleep properly due to the stress, which I'm only just recovering from.

Anna and I managed a weekend away in London a couple of weeks ago. It was supposed to be a happy occasion to celebrate a wedding anniversay, but sadly this did not take place. We had the hotel booked anyway so chose to go and meet up with friends. It was nice to go in a Sam Smiths pub again, first time in ages!

Glastonbury is getting closer but it's difficult to get excited about it just yet because of the car troubles - I've not had a chance to tow the caravan for a while and am currently without a towbar. Ideally we would have had the caravan serviced but that was all ruined by the car being written off. It's all additional stress that I really didn't need.

We went to see Endgame last week, and I cried at least three times. The cinema was pretty noisy with a lot of clapping and cheering, I've not experienced this in the UK before (just once in the US) but for Endgame I think it really helped. Someone a couple of rows back was loudly sobbing for the last 20 minutes! I really enjoyed it and am pleased with how it tied up the last ten years of the MCU.

More of the same

2019-03-19T21:07:00.002+00:00

I'm still feeling a little unmotivated, and as ever I'm feeling tired - I've not been sleeping well for the last few days.

I finally managed to get out for a proper bike ride this month, although only 24km - it gave me a chance to debut my Mr Grumpy jersey which I bought last July(!)

As far as cycling goes I'm not fit at all, but my time is limited these days due to other forms of exercise - I really want to improve my running and don't have enough time for everything! I went for a run on Sunday and the side of my knee started hurting after 2km which was very frustrating. I also hurt my thigh last week trying to do an armada com martelo at capoeira without warming up properly. I'll definitely warm up properly next time!

Here's a video of me attempting meia lua de compasso followed by no-handed cartwheels. I've got a long way to go before it looks like I know what I'm doing! In my defence I was pretty tired at the end of a session when I attempted these.

We had a band session a couple of weeks ago which was good, we just had a jam session rather than a full-on recording session so it took far less time to setup, and we were all sober so we were able to concentrate for longer. I think we lost a little on the creativity side though! It was fun though and hopefully we'll manage it again soon.

I've seen Captain Marvel twice, once with Anna and once with Nicky and Kitty. It was never going to be as good as Black Panther or Infinity War, but I thought it was a perfectly passable and entertaining origin story. When I took the kids to see it we went to Basildon which is a far nicer cinema than our local one, but I ended up spending almost as much on sweets as I did on the tickets!

Lack of motivation

2019-02-22T16:38:00.001+00:00

The year is going past very quickly, which is probably not a good thing considering how few days are left before Brexit and how little is being done to prepare for it. This is definitely one of the things causing me stress at the moment.

I've been ill all week which is very frustrating on several counts: I've not been able to do capoeira or train at the gym, work is taking longer because I'm ill (and the kids are off school for half-term), and the weather outside has been very spring-like for this time of year. I've had a nasty cough which I'm paranoid is going to cause another hernia, and I've also felt very tired, like getting out of bed has used up all my energy. I'm almost over it now I think but I'm still pretty tired and getting upstairs is wearing me out.

My lack of exercise has led to my weight increasing which I'm also not happy about. Things have been pretty busy with work so my time for cycling, etc. has been reduced. Once I'm better I'm hoping to get out on the bike more. Unfortunately I didn't get a RideLondon 100 place this year, but in a way I'm almost glad not to have to do the training! The memories of last year's rainfest are still quite fresh.

We've had two birthdays to celebrate this month. Kitty was 8 yesterday, she went to the local soft play with some of her friends. Eight years has gone very quickly, I'm going to feel ancient when it's Nicky's tenth birthday in April!

Rory was six at the start of the month. We took him to the Marvel S.T.A.T.I.O.N. exhibition near the ExCeL in London. Rory and Nicky thought it was great but Anna and I were a little disappointed, it wasn't anywhere near as good as the Star Wars Identities exhibit or the Doctor Who Experience. I took a few pictures which can be seen here.

Goodbye 2018, hello 2019

2019-01-02T14:45:00.001+00:00

Happy new year! December went very quickly, I hadn't realised it had been so long since my previous update. It's been a stressful month what with Christmas to prepare for, and my work situation was up in the air. That has now been sorted though thankfully!

We went to the usual pantomime at the Thameside theatre in Grays, this year it was Aladdin and my nephew joined us this year. It was his first pantomime and he absolutely loved it, as did the other kids. Nicky is now getting to an age where he's understanding more of the jokes, I did enjoy hearing him laughing at a wordplay joke that he wouldn't have understood a couple of years ago.

Christmas was a bit less hectic this year, the piles of presents for the children are now more manageable as what they want is smaller (but more expensive!) Rory's favourite present was a Mario beanie which has rarely been off his head since, Kitty's favourite was a giant unicorn which she has been carrying around everywhere, and Nicky's were some goalkeeper gloves which he has been wearing around the house(!)

Nicky and I went to the football with Anna's dad yesterday. Southend were playing Gillingham, it was not the greatest game and the standard of officiating was abysmal, it seems to get worse every game we go to! The assistant was regularly flagging for offside when it wasn't and not flagging for offside when it was. The ref sent off Robinson for a second yellow when it didn't even look like a foul, then disallowed what looked like a perfectly legitimate Gillingham goal before Southend went up the other end and scored! I've never heard the stadium go from despair to jubilation so quickly!

Thinking ahead to 2019, my resolutions are pretty similar to last year:

Try and be more positive/optimistic. Still not particularly easy given the state of the world and events out of my control.
Listen to new music. I don't want to be one of those old people who claims that all new music is rubbish and things were better back in my day, but that's how it seems! I'll try and find something new to enjoy.
Practice playing the bass more. I did this reasonably well last year but things tailed off in the last few months. I was enjoying using Yousician so will start doing that again.
Lose weight. The perennial favourite! I've put on quite a lot over Christmas which I'm sure will go soon. Even at the start of the year I weight less than I did at the start of 2018 so it's a decent base to build from. What with cycling, (attempts at) running, HIIT training and capoeira I'm sure I'll be doing enough exercise!

We've got a few things to look forward to this year including Glastonbury. We're still undecided about where to go on holiday, we'll probably skip the Isle of Wight this year though.

Up and down

2018-12-03T15:44:00.001+00:00

I had started feeling slightly more positive last week, but this week hasn't started well. I'd wanted to go for a run yesterday but my IT band was feeling sore near my knee so I thought it best to rest. I'd hoped to go out instead today but if anything it feels worse. I haven't done any leg-related exercise since Thursday so it's pretty frustrating. It might be due to driving on Saturday, I might have to adjust my seat a little.

Not much has really happened since last week. Christmas shopping is almost done, Anna wanted to go and see Betrayal starring Tom Hiddleston next year and I managed to get tickets on Friday, so that's her big present sorted. I just need to get the kids to buy presents for Anna and each other now. Now that's it December I guess I can start to get excited about Christmas but I think I hate it more and more every year. Why do people start putting lights up in November (like one house around the corner from us)? I hate the adverts too, I don't think I've ever been persuaded to buy something by a Christmas advert.

This year I decided to spend more than £1 on an advent calendar and instead got one which contains actual chocolate. Looking forward to the big Santa on Christmas Eve!

I went with Nicky to watch Southend United vs Barnsley on Saturday. It was the first FA Cup game that either of us had ever been to, and Nicky was dreaming of Wembley even before we got to the ground!

Needless to say, getting Cup Final tickets is not something I need to worry about this season! Southend weren't great but should have had an equaliser near the end. The referee and assistants were dreadful, even compared to the usual poor quality refereeing on offer at Roots Hall this was something else. One day soon Nicky is going to work out all of the words when the crowd start singing "you're just a c*** with a whistle"!

I'm about halfway through playing Bayonetta on the Switch and I absolutely love it. It's similar to Ninja Gaiden Black in that it's pretty difficult but when you pull off a combo it is so satisfying! Really looking forward to playing through Bayonetta 2 when I'm done with the first game.

Still struggling on

2018-11-20T13:12:00.002+00:00

My current period of feeling low has lasted quite a while now, today is probably the first day in over a week where I haven't felt like everything is terrible. Exercise has been a good distraction, I've been circuit training this morning and went to capoeira last night. Eating dinner before capoeira is not advisable as I found out to my cost, trying to do flips and cartwheels eventually meant I was almost sick! I've been doing it for a couple of months now and am still really enjoying it, although I still ache a fair amount after every session.

I bought some running shoes on Saturday. I have had the money saved for ages but real life kept getting in the way, but I finally found the time to go and have gait analysis done. I overpronate slightly so have got some Saucony shoes with extra support on the inside. Hopefully this will stop my calf muscles complaining so much when I go for a run. I went for a run Sunday morning and my calves seemed fine, but my left IT band got irritated near the knee which meant I had to walk for some of the last kilometre.

Last Wednesday was very sad as it was my aunt's funeral. It turned out to be a very long day, I left home just after dropping Rory at school and got there 5 minutes before the funeral started - I got stuck several times on winding roads behind tractors and coaches. I'm glad I made it though and could say my goodbyes. I didn't stay long after as I wanted to avoid the rush hour on the way back, I still ended up taking some back routes to get home in the end. I spent 8 hours driving altogether, the car worked like a charm though, at one point I was doing 50mpg.

We went to see Ross Noble on Saturday as a belated birthday present from Anna. It was very funny, especially the unscripted bits about using fireworks to shoot rubbish into Kent and the quality of fare served at Clarence Yard! The Gérard Depardieu bit was also great. Bonsoir! My face was aching from laughing afterwards, it was a very welcome distraction from real life.

Struggling

2018-11-13T16:02:00.001+00:00

The last few weeks have been a bit of a struggle. I've been physically unwell a couple of times and the last week I've been very down mentally. I can't remember the last time I felt properly healthy (physically and mentally) - my breathing has been a bit wheezy for weeks now and doesn't seem like it's going to clear up. I really don't want to resort to antibiotics so I hope it clears up soon.

My car woes have been solved - I'm now the owner of a Toyota Avensis Tourer. It's a bit of a squeeze to get three car seats in, Nicky is in a booster but he won't need it much longer, once he's grown a little more hopefully it will be easier. The boot has plenty of space and the car is so quiet compared to the Galaxy - being petrol rather than diesel makes a big difference!

I'll be testing the car out long distance tomorrow, as I am going to my aunt's funeral near Bath. Sadly she was diagnosed with leukaemia earlier this year and died suddenly a couple of weeks ago. She was always kind and generous and was massively helpful when my brother and I were able to reconnect with our grandfather. It's a long way to drive but I want to pay my respects properly.

Getting a caravan ticket for Glastonbury was very stressful, in the initial sale it was impossible to get on the website (they put all the ready-pitched tents on sale at the same time) and by the time I was in, it was showing as no caravan tickets being available. After frantically refreshing the page several times I was able to get tickets in the East field, but I had been hoping for the East family/quiet field. Luckily, there was a resale this past weekend and I was able to get a family ticket, so there'll be at least one East ticket available for someone else in next year's resale.

I took Nicky to see Southend vs Coventry a few weeks ago but it wasn't a great game and we couldn't really argue about the result. We also went to see the Six Day racing again which I wrote about on my cycling website, we both enjoyed it and will be going again next year! Nicky also luckily got to go to a 'Meet the Blues' day at Southend, he got autographs from all of the players, watched a training session and even got to go on the pitch!

Nicky about to go for a run on the Southend United pitch

I've done seven sessions of capoeira now and am still really enjoying it, the aching after each session isn't quite as bad as the previous week so hopefully things are getting stronger and more flexible. I've also started learning Brazilian Portuguese using an app but that's pretty slow going.