The Rantings Of Tony

One Year later...My Re-Arranged Face

2016-11-24T22:34:00.005-07:00

Hi friends and family. I hope you all are well. Wanted to update everyone on my recovery from my double jaw surgery. Can you believe it's over a year already? November 2nd marked one year since my jaw surgery...time flies.

Overall things went very well. Earlier this week, I had my one year follow up appointment with my surgeon, and he said everything looks great.

The only issue is I still have is a some numbness. My bottom lip and my chin are numb on the right side. The amount of numbness seems to very slowly decline, and it tingles to the touch. It feels kind of like when your foot falls asleep and it is waking up. I also still have some numbness in my teeth, gums, and the roof of my mouth. This all makes things like brushing my teeth fun, and of course, sometimes I drool a little out of the right side of my mouth. Neat! The doctor said this could all last up to two years from the surgery and what ever is still numb by then is probably permanent.

The two most common questions I get asked are,

"Are you glad you did it?"

"Would you do it again?"

The answer to both those questions is without a doubt, YES!

My overall all jaw health is way better now. I can chew normally, and as a bonus I can breathe better. Why? Great question. It's because the surgery expanded my airway. I have noticed this the most when playing indoor soccer. I can breathe easier and have better stamina. Losing some weight due to the liquid diet after the surgery probably helps with that as well.

Fun fact, since today is Thanksgiving, and as I reflect back on my recovery from surgery, I remember having to blend and drink my Thanksgiving meal last year. Here is a picture of what that looked like.

I bet looking at that makes you jealous. I'm joking of course. It was very...strange. This year I am very grateful I got to enjoy my meal the normal way. Here is what my first plate of food looked like, yes I said first, I had two plates. I really enjoy food!

It was a long journey and I'm glad I went through it. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, and since I don't feel that I am very good at writing, blogging, etc, here are some pictures showing the day before the surgery and some we took on the one year anniversary of the surgery. Enjoy!

Before

After

Before

After

Before

After

Before

After

Before: March 2013, when I first got my braces on.

Before: October 2015, right before surgery.

After surgery: November 2015.

After: August 2016, the day the braces came off.

After: November 2, 2016.

What a difference a year makes! Thanks to everyone who supported me through this journey, for your thoughts, prayers, kind words, & help! As always, thanks for reading my blog. I pray that God would bless you and your family greatly!

No More Metal Mouth & Double Jaw Surgery Update

2016-08-15T23:04:00.000-06:00

Hi friends and family! It's been a while since I have written a blog update. Notice anything different? If you said, "Hey Tony, you don't have braces, (or something like that)," then you are exactly right! Today was a big day for me as I got my braces off. Rather than talk a lot about it, I thought I would show you. The pictures below detail the 3 1/2 year journey of being an adult with braces, enjoy.

Oh and after these pictures, there's an update to my double jaw surgery healing.

March 2013 - Braces were put on.

March 2014 - One year.

March 2015 - Two years.

October 2015 - Before surgery.

December 2015 - After surgery.

March 2016 - Three years.

August 2016 - Right before the braces came off.

August 2016 - Right after the braces were removed.

The next set of pictures below, compare November 1, 2015, the day before my double jaw surgery to today, August 15, 2016 the day my braces were removed.

A quick update on surgery stuff. I am now nine months out from my double jaw surgery. I still have some numbness on the right side of my face on my lower lip and chin. Some of my teeth, gums, and the roof of my mouth are still numb as well. "They," say that it can take up to a year or more for all the numbness to go away. The Orthodontist installed a permanent retainer on my bottom teeth today and I will wear a removable one on the top for a while. To complete my smile/ bite I also need to have some dental work done, mostly crowns. Well, I hope you enjoyed this update. As always thanks for taking the time to read my blog, and until next time, may God bless you and your family greatly!

Recovery Week 8: December 21-27, 2015

2015-12-30T23:43:00.000-07:00

I am now eight weeks out from surgery. Crazy when I say that out loud. Looking back now it feels like it has gone by really fast. My life has pretty much returned to normal at this point.

I am back to work, chewing as normally as I can, my hip area feels fine where the bone graft was taken, and overall I feel really good.

I still have some residual numbness in my chin, lips, teeth, and gums, but the surgeon said it can take three to six months for all those nerves to wake up and be back to normal.

I had an orthodontist appoint on Monday, December 28. They said everything was looking great as far as my bite is concerned. I now only have to wear a couple of rubber bands during the day, and a couple more at night. The best news is I don't have to wear that reverse pull mask anymore. I am convinced that is a tool of Satan.

This will be my last weekly post about the surgery as there is not much to tell at this point. I thought it would be fun to give you some interesting facts or things I learned about my surgery and recovery.

1. People tend to cringe when you tell them the gory details of double jaw surgery with a hip bone graft.

2. In some cases (like mine), they will attach wires (called skeletal wires) into your jaw during the the surgery for the rubber bands to be on. This will help pull on your jaw as the scar tissue develops and prevent the jaw muscles from messing up your jaw alignment.

3. If you have a bone graft near your sinuses, you cannot blow your nose for about four weeks.

4. In come cases (like mine), having your jaw, "wired shut"will actually be rubber bands that you can remove once a day for an hour to brush your teeth after eating...I mean drinking a meal.

5. When your lips, gums, and teeth are numb, you will drool and spit...a lot.

6. A kid tooth brush is not as effective as an adult tooth brush.

7. I lost a little over thirty pounds while on the liquid diet for the first six weeks. Doing my best to keep it off and lose more.

8. Being paid short term disability to stay home for six weeks and recover from surgery is awesome.

9. When you are told you are allowed to start chewing again, it is glorious news!

10. When you have chewed wrong for over thirty years of your life, it will be very strange to chew with a correct bite. I'm still learning and getting used to it.

Here are a few shots of my bite progression:

Before Surgery: March 2013 right after I got braces on and started the journey.

Before Surgery: March 2014

Before Surgery: March 2015

Before Surgery: October 2015

After Surgery: November 2015

After Surgery: December 2015

Finally, here are some before pictures on the left from November 1, 2015,

and after pictures on the right from December 30, 2015.

If you took the time to follow along on this journey with me, thank you! I appreciate all the the love and support I have received through this process. I am not all the way healed and will continue to wear braces for a while, but the hard part is over! I am looking forward to my new jaw, bite, and smile! As always, if you took the time to read my blog, I pray that God blesses you and your family.

Recovery Week 7: December 14-20, 2015

2015-12-21T17:27:00.004-07:00

This was a really big week for me. My life started going back to pre-surgery normal. I went back to work starting Monday (December 14). It was good to get back to work and get to see my co-workers that I missed. I was worried I would forget a lot of stuff after being out for six weeks, but it all came back pretty fast. I was pretty tired at the end of each day, but I am sure that my energy will be back to one-hundred percent soon.

After work on Monday, I had an Orthodontist appointment to remove all the extra surgery stuff added to my braces. I still have to wear some rubber bands, and that darn reverse pull mask for a little while longer though. Not really excited about that, but means to an end, and after about a year I should be able to get my braces off.

Here are some before and after pictures of all the stuff they removed (the top before, and the bottom after).

Now, on to the the biggest news of the week, as of Monday, December 14, I was able to begin chewing again! NO MORE LIQUID DIET!!!

It was kind of strange learning to chew all over again with a correct bite. Another interesting fact is, that my teeth are still mostly numb. So, when I chew, I can't always feel it. Imagine you went to the dentist, they numbed your whole mouth, and then you had to eat a meal. It's kind of like that. Good times indeed!

My recovery is not over yet, but I took some really big steps this week. Other than a little bit of swelling on my right side of my face, the numbness in my chin, bottom lip and teeth, I am feeling really good. Here are some pictures of my face.

As always thanks for taking the time to read my blog. I pray that you and your family are doing well and that God blesses you greatly!

Recovery Week 6: December 7-13, 2015

2015-12-14T20:06:00.002-07:00

I had a follow up with my Surgeon on Tuesday of this week. Everything continues to go well with my healing. During this visit they removed the skeletal wires from my top and bottom jaw. It was a very odd experience. It's didn't hurt that much, but there was a lot of pressure as they just yank them out. It made a strange popping sound as they came out, almost like a suction cup being pulled off a window. Those suckers were pretty deep into my gums and jaw. Oh, they don't use anything to numb the area like novocain. Here are some pictures of the skeletal wires before they were pulled and my gums after they were pulled out.

Some more positive notes, I can now brush my teeth & gums with a normal tooth brush (instead of a little kid one), blow my nose again, and I don't have to sleep elevated any more.

Everything continues to improve. I still have some numbness in my chin and bottom lip, but that continues to be less as more of the nerves wake up. I also still have a little bit of soreness and aching in my hip from the bone graft. Again, this continues to be less as I become more active and continue to heal.

Here are some pictures of my face as it continues to heal.

Thanks for reading and God bless!

Recovery Week 5: November 30 - December 6, 2015

2015-12-07T11:43:00.004-07:00

I continue to heal well and feel better. Some numbness remains in my chin, bottom lip, and mouth. My hip and thigh are still a little sore from the bone graft, but getting better each day.

I felt like I had a lot more energy this week. I had no appointments this week with the Surgeon or Orthodontist, so this week felt more normal. Well, normal if I was on vacation from work, choosing a liquid diet, and to have my jaw rubber-banded shut.

I tried to be more active and do some normal and fun stuff. For example, on Monday, I took Uriah to Summit (the building formerly known as Brunswick XL). We bowled and played some video/ ticket games. Here are some pictures of Uriah bowling and with his prizes from the tickets.

On Saturday, Carmen had a tea party with friends (9 little girls 5-7 years old counting Carmen) for her birthday. Sarah did a great job planning and hosting. I played photographer it was a lot of fun. Here a a few pictures from the tea party.

Since I had more energy, I started some light workout stuff this week. I can't run yet or do a full workout, but I was able to do some brisk walking and light resistance work to get back in the habit of working out. I figured since I am losing weight being on a liquid diet, I might as well start some good habits again, so I can keep the weight off and be in better shape when I can start eating normally.

Anyways, not a whole lot to report this week. Here are some updated pictures of my face.

As always, thanks for taking the time to read my blog. I pray that God blesses you and your family.

Recovery Week 4: November 23-29, 2015

2015-11-30T11:41:00.001-07:00

My recovery continues to go well. I feel better and have more energy after every week. I had a follow up appointment with my Surgeon on Monday. He said everything is looking and healing well. I go back to see Him in two weeks.

As far as pain I really don't have any in my jaw or face, just an occasional nerve recovering that tingles. There is still a tiny bit of swelling left in my face (mostly on the right side), and still some numbness in my bottom lip and chin. The Surgeon said that it can take up to six months for all the nerves to recover, and all the numbness to go away, so everything is normal there.

My hip and thigh are still sore from the bone graft, but his is normal as well. The Surgeon and his Nurse told me that being more active and walking will really help with that. I was much more active this week and have noticed a difference.

Thursday was of course Thanksgiving. I hope yours was great! We had a wonderful Thanksgiving! It was cold and snowy here in Colorado Springs, but beautiful. Our family spent the morning at home, and the evening at my Parents house with them, and my Brother and his Wife. It was a good day!

One note about Thanksgiving. For my liquid diet, I have stuck with a lot of powders, soups, pre-made meal replacement shakes, yogurt, apple sauce, and the like. I have not really tried blending and drinking a "normal" meal. So, on Thanksgiving, I decided to give it a go. My Dad has a Vitamix blender, so in went some; turkey (white & dark), stuffing, yams, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, gravy, cranberry sauce, a little riesling (a sweet white wine), and some water to thin it all out. Surprisingly, it tasted okay and did not make me vomit. It was very strange drinking my Thanksgiving meal, but I am grateful I was able to have it. Good times indeed. Here is a picture of me with my blended Thanksgiving dinner.


Want to try my liquid Thanksgiving dinner?

Overall, I am feeling pretty good. I am growing weary of the liquid diet, but I don't want to mess anything up or knock some of my teeth out, so I will stay the course. Hopefully, if all continues to go well, I will be able to start chewing food in two weeks. Here are some updated picks of how my face is looking.

You can see the right side of my face is a little swollen still compared to the left side.

Thanks to the many who have reached out with kind words, thoughts, and prayers for my recovery. As always, thanks for taking the time to read my blog. I pray that God blesses you and your family.

Recovery Week 3: November 16-22, 2015

2015-11-23T17:42:00.001-07:00

Monday I had a follow up appointment with my Surgeon. He said that my healing was ahead of schedule and everything was looking great. The drive to and from his office was not fun as a major storm was rolling into Colorado. It normally takes about 50 minutes to get home from the Surgeon's office, because of the weather and traffic, it took my Mom and I a little over two hours to get home. Thanks for driving me Mom!

Also I decided to try going through the day without taking any pain medication to see how I would feel with out it. For the most part I felt fine. I did end up taking some before bed to help me sleep.

Tuesday...HOLY SNOW BATMAN!!! A snow storm/ blizzard that started last night made for a a family snow day at home. Carmen's school was canceled and Sarah called into work, because she did not want to risk a car accident driving in the snow, ice, wind, etc. There was really no option for her, because she would not have been able to get out of our driveway or neighborhood. Several cars were stuck in the streets in our neighborhood. I did try to shovel some snow, but I could not do much as my right hip/ pelvis began to ache where the bone graft was taken. Overall though, I felt pretty good today and we had a nice family snow day at home. I went without my pain medicine until I went to bed again. Here are some pictures of the snow.

Wednesday was a lot like Tuesday. School canceled for Carmen, and Sarah had to call in to work due to the amount of snow still at the bottom of our driveway and in the street. Still no way either of our cars would make it through the 3-5 feet of snow piled there. We had another nice family day at home. Sarah and a few neighbors shoveled enough of a path to be able to at least get Sarah's car out of the driveway in the morning. One neighbor even stopped by with a snowblower and helped for a little bit. Other than my hip still a little sore from shoveling on Tuesday, I felt really good. My Dad with my brother's help brought his snowblower in the evening over for us to use tomorrow. I did once again take some pain medicine before bed.

Thursday Sarah was back to work, Carmen was back to school, and Uriah went to his normal Thursday child care. I had the day to myself to rest. I did use the snowblower for a few hours and make enough room to get my car out of the garage. However, I noticed that it was not working properly as all the blades were not spinning. I called my Dad to let him know. I might have over done it a bit as my hip area got pretty sore again.

Later that evening my Dad came over to the house to look at the snowblower with me. Turns out it's an easy fix as there are the pins in the axel that are designed to sheer off if the blades get stuck to prevent massive damage to the axel or differential of the snowblower. Then my Mom and Dad, said "You can keep this snowblower." What? Thank you Mom and Dad!!! Turns out since my parents moved and downsized my Dad felt this snowblower was too big for his little driveway and wanted a much smaller one, so he purchased a smaller one and gave me his! This will be a huge blessing for Sarah and I.

Also one last note, for the first time I took no pain medicine at all, even forgot before I went to bed.
Friday, Uriah & I were together all day. Since I had not been taking the pain medicine I decided to drive for the first time today. I went to the the store to get some of the sheer pins to fix the snowblower. When we got home Uriah and I fixed the snowblower and cleared some more.

Saturday was Uriah's 5th Birthday! We celebrated with him most of the day and I felt pretty good.

Sunday, we went to Church & watched some football. The kids went to Grandma & Grandpa's house for a sleep over, so Sarah and I had a nice quiet evening at home.

Overall this was a good week of healing for me. I felt much better and had a lot more energy. My hip and thigh are still sore from the bone graft, but the Surgeon said that would be the case. The incision is healing well though. I still have some numbness in my chin and bottom lip, but really no pain in my jaw or teeth. The swelling in my face is almost gone. I have been able to take off the rubber bands to eat (well drink) one meal, and brush my teeth with them out each day. That has been really nice, because as you can imagine having your jaw held shut by rubber bands is not much fun. Also I have been able to go without pain medicine since Wednesday night which is nice, because that means, I can drive myself again and don't have to rely on others to drive me around. Here are some pictures of my face so you can see that it's almost my new normal.

As always, thanks for taking the time to read my blog, and for caring about my recovery from surgery. I pray God blesses you and your family!

Recovery Week 2: November 9-15, 2015

2015-11-16T13:50:00.000-07:00

Recovery week two was better than week one. Swelling came down a lot in my face, and pain levels came down a lot as well. I have also been sleeping better this week. I was able to change out my rubber bands that hold my jaw shut a couple times on my own. It nice to be able to take those out and brush my teeth and drink a meal with out them in. I was also able to drink out of a cup some. My chin and bottom lip are still mostly numb, but I am figuring things out.

Monday was a pretty uneventful day. On Tuesday, my Mom took me to a follow up appointment with my Surgeon. It was a good appointment. The Surgeon said things were looking good and healing well.

Wednesday, I was home with my son Uriah. We had a fun day playing games, watching TV, and just hanging out together. In the evening my friend Grant came to hang out. He stayed for dinner and we watched some UFC Ultimate Fighter together. It was great day as it brought some normalcy for me.

Thursday was the roughest day of the week. I was in a bit more pain than the previous few days. I might have did a little too much the day before. I also had some stomach/ constipation issues. Once those resolved I felt much better.

Friday, I had an Orthodontist appointment as they wanted to see how things looked. Thanks again to my Mom for driving me. I was also able to attend my church Life Group on Friday night and that was fun. That was probably the most I have talked since the surgery.

Saturday, I went to some stores with Sarah and the kids and in the evening watched a UFC PPV at friends house. Saturday was probably the most active I have been since the surgery. It left me pretty tired on Sunday.

Sunday, I went to church and then stayed home and relaxed the rest of the day. One weird thing. The bandage covering the bone graft incision spot came off. This is the first time I have seen that. Here is a picture.

Incision area in my right hip from where the bone graft for my top jaw was taken.

Overall it was a good week. I am feeling better as each days passes. I want to thank all of you who have been praying for me, texting, emailing me, commenting on my facebook page. I appreciate the love, support, and encouragement.

I also want to say thanks to all those who have brought meals for Sarah and the kids. That has really helped out, and Sarah and I are very appreciative of that.

Below are some pictures showing how much the swelling has gone down since last Monday. The pictures on the left are from Monday, November 9, and the pictures on the right are from this morning, Monday November 16.

As always thanks for taking the time to read my blog. May God bless you and your family.

Recovery Week 1: November 2-8, 2015

2015-11-12T21:52:00.001-07:00

So for those of you interested in following along with the journey of recovery after my double jaw surgery and bone graft I will post weekly updates on Mondays. Obviously, I am a little behind on this first one, but it was a long week.

Monday was surgery day, Please click to read my previous blog post about that.

As Tuesday came, I was still in the hospital, but I was lot more in tune with what was going on around me. I was still fairly tired and medicated, but they were planning on sending me home late afternoon/ early evening. I was able to get out of the bed and sit in a chair. I was able to eat, well drink smoothies for breakfast and lunch along with some water and Gatorade. Here are some pictures of how the swelling was Tuesday morning:

During breakfast and lunch Sarah and I learned the process of eating from a syringe for the next few weeks would not be fun. Syringes sometimes glide very smoothly and sometimes they don't. When they don't glide smoothly and you force them a little, the contents inside explode, everywhere. As Sarah and I were figuring out this whole eating from the syringes thing, we both took a food shower or two.

My surgeon came to visit me again on Tuesday, and said that he would start the discharge process for us and wanted us to stop by his office in South Denver (Lone Tree) before we headed home to Colorado Springs.

The nurse came shortly after that and pulled all the tubes out of me (IV & Catheter) except they left a port (actually just an IV) that they put in my hip in the area where they took the bone graft. My Surgeon said he would give us medicine at his office that we could put through that port which in turn would help with soreness/ pain in the bone graft area.

Now it was the very fun process of waiting for your evacuation system to start working again on it's own before you can leave the hospital. Yes this means I had to pee a certain amount before I could leave. It took a bit, but I got it done and then it was off to my Surgeon's office. Below is a picture of me ready to leave the hospital. We were finally able to leave the hospital around 4:45 PM.

Still rocking that fashionable Jaw Bra!

At the Surgeon's office he looked things over, gave us some stuff, showed Sarah and I how to administer the medicine through the port in the bone graft area, and he gave me a portable suction device to use. Then it was off to home. We got home around 6:45 PM.

Wednesday, I just took it easy at home and Sarah I tried to figure out a routine for eating/ medicine etc. My Surgeon told me that today would be the peak of the swelling in my face. Here are a few pictures we took on Wednesday of the swelling.

On Thursday, we had a follow up with the Surgeon. During this visit he pulled the port from my bone graft area, which I thought would hurt, but did not. He took the rubber bands out that hold my jaw shut and let me brush my teeth with out them in, that was glorious. Then came the not fun part. He decided to put a pallet expander in my mouth. This is a metal bar that runs across the roof of your mouth and attached at the second to last molars. He also informed Sarah and I that he wanted me to get a reverse pull mask from my Orthodontist. Joy!

After the bad news, He taught Sarah and I how to change the rubber bands and let us know that we can do that once a day. He also told me I can eat (well drink) and brush my teeth while the bands are out. We did not know this would be the case, so that was nice to know. He also said I can shower as normal which was great news.

On Friday, I went to visit my Orthodontist to get the reverse pull face mask. This thing sucks. It's purpose is to help make sure that my jaw muscles don't try to pull my top jaw backwards, and help everything stay right where the Surgeon and Orthodontist want it. Here are some pictures.

Saturday & Sunday were pretty uneventful days. My Mom, Dad, Brother, Sister-in-law and few friends stopped by for a visit on Saturday, and that was nice. My parents had been watching our dogs and brought them back to us as well. Mostly, I watched a lot of football and napped on Saturday and Sunday.

All in all, the first week of recovery went fairly well. There were a couple of times where the pain got pretty bad, but the medicine was able to help bring it back to a tolerable level. I am still adjusting to all the numbness in my face. My nose, lips, and chin are still very numb. The first time Sarah and I tried to change out the rubber bands that hold my jaw shut was an adventure as well.

If you took the time to read this whole blog, thanks! I pray that God blesses you and your family.

Surgery Day: November 2, 2015

2015-11-10T20:02:00.002-07:00

My first major surgery is in the books. The day started very early. Sarah and I got up about 3:45 AM as we needed to be to the hospital by 5:30 AM to register and check in. We took the picture below to capture the moment right before we backed out of the garage.

4:15AM in the car about to drive to the hospital.

We got to the hospital, got through registration, and got checked into the pre-surgery room. My surgery was scheduled to begin at 7:30 AM. Probably the best part of getting ready for surgery is the awesome hospital gowns. They don't really make those for people my size and build. Of course you also have to get your IV. Here's a picture of me in my luxurious hospital gown waiting to be taken to the surgery room.

Love the pink trim on the hospital gown.

About 15 minutes after the above picture was taken they wheeled me to the surgery room. Once they got me in the room my surgeon & anesthesiologist talked me through some of the details of the surgery, and then it was lights out. The surgery took around 7 hours total.

I have almost no memory of being in recovery after surgery, or being moved to my hospital room. Obviously, I was in and out of sleep a lot. The one thing I do remember is that while in recovery I found out I had been given a catheter before surgery, but after the anesthesia (Surprise!). I remember a nurse in recovery telling me not to pull it out, ha ha. Anyways, here is a picture Sarah took when she was allowed to see me in the recovery room before I was moved to my hospital room.

In recovery, notice my luxurious gown and jaw bra/ oxygen mask accessories completing the look!

In the picture above, the white and blue fabric holds ice packs on my jaw. It's velcroed on my head, and fun fact, is called a, "Jaw Bra." Most of the rest of Monday is a blur. I was in and out of sleep a lot. I remember the nurses taking my vitals and giving me medicine, the Surgeon checking in on me, and trying to to talk to Sarah. Here is a picture I took around 11:30 PM. That is one swollen face!

Swollen face, head bandage, jaw bra, oxygen mask, gown falling off...very attractive!

That pretty much sums up my surgery day. Thanks for following along with the journey. I will be posting weekly updates from here on out on how I am healing. I would greatly appreciate your prayers during the recovery. I will have my jaw wired shut (its actually rubber bands), and on a liquid diet for at least the next six weeks.

As always if you took the time to read my blog, I pray that God blesses you and your family.

Time To Rearrange My Face

2015-11-01T21:35:00.002-07:00

November 2, 2015 will probably be a day I never forget, because I am having my jaw surgery to fix my under-bite. It's been a long journey to get here. If you need to catch up, you can read these other posts:

Post 1: My New Metal Mouth.

Post 2: My First Surgery.

Post 3: 2nd Level Appeal Approved.

Back to today. Today will be one of the most significant days in this journey. Surgery day has arrived.

The question I seem to get most is, "Are you nervous?"

The answer is, "Yes, I am little nervous."

I have never had a major surgery. I have never been under anesthesia. However, I am as prepared and ready as I can be. I also feel like I have an army of people praying for me, and I take great peace in that. I know God is in control and I am confident everything will go fine.

I am most nervous about the recovery. My jaw will be wired shut for six weeks. I will be on a liquid diet during that time, and on leave from work. I am not exited to have to drink all my meals, but on the plus side, I should have some much needed weight loss.

The next most asked question I get is, "What exactly are they doing to your jaw?" I will spare you the gory details, but the simple answer is they are cutting my top jaw and moving it forward, and adding bone from my hip/ pelvis area (via bone graft), and they will be cutting my bottom jaw and moving it backwards. Then they will use some screws and brackets to put it all back together and wire it shut so it can heal and I can have a proper bite.

I would really appreciate your prayers for my surgery and recovery and for my wife as she takes care of me.

I will post some updates and some pictures after surgery.

As always, if you take the time to read this blog, may God bless you greatly!

2nd Level Appeal Approval.

2015-09-02T21:53:00.001-06:00

Today was a good day in my journey towards getting my underbite fixed.

Many of you know that I started this process in October of 2012 when my then new dentist encouraged me to start the journey of looking into getting my underbite fixed with orthognathic surgery.

Here are some links to my previous posts detailing this if you're interested:

Post 1: My New Metal Mouth

Post 2: My First Surgery

We originally started to plan the surgery for December of 2014, but that didn't work our for several reasons.

Long story short...Sarah changed jobs in January. Leaving her last job in December meant our health insurance left too. We had pre-approvals for everything with the surgery with the old insurance company and we were hopeful things would be good with the new insurance company, that we got through my work.

In January, my surgeon's office called the insurance company to check if all the surgery stuff (including pre and post op) were covered billing codes. They said yes those are covered codes, but you will need to get a pre-authorization. So, we planned to have the surgery the first week of May 2015.

We were all systems go at this point, or so we thought...

In February, the surgeon's office put in the authorization request, I got FMLA and short term disability approval from work, and we had everything scheduled.

Then one March afternoon, about a month after we requested the authorization, I got the mail on my way home like I do most days. I don't remember the exact day, but on this day there was an envelope from my insurance company. I opened the envelope to find a letter from my insurance company saying the authorization for a pre-surgery CT scan and any surgery was denied due to an exclusion for dental procedures in my insurance policy.

We were in shock. It seemed very odd after being told the billing codes were covered, and having many medical professionals tell me this surgery was "medically necessary" for me, to get a denial of benefits.

The bad news: a denial; the good news: you can appeal the decision.

So we appealed. My surgeon's office put together documentation proving the medical necessity, including letters from the surgeon and my orthodontists. We felt good about this appeal and thought we had a good chance based on all the evidence we provided. The appeal paper work was faxed the first week of April 2015.

Due to some weird appeal authorization (we were told we did not need) required for the surgeon's office to appeal on my behalf, the appeal did not get looked at until May 27th.

The first level appeal panel, upheld the initial decision citing the same vague dental exclusion, which in my opinion likened my jaw surgery to getting a tooth pulled or getting x-rays.

At this point we were unsure what to do, but the paper work said we could do a 2nd Level Appeal. So that's what we did. My surgeon's office gathered more information and evidence and sent off the 2nd level appeal, the last week of June.

After a lot of waiting, considering, and praying, we started looking into options to have the surgery without using the insurance. Sarah and I looked at loans, borrowing against her 401K, starting a Go Fund Me Page, etc.

On August 14, I received an email from a Grievances and Appeals Analyst named John from my insurance company, inviting me to attend a meeting on September 2 to state my case for why I believe the surgery should be covered. I did not get such an invitation for the 1st level appeal.

This bring us to today. This morning September 2, 2015, Sarah & I attended this 2nd level appeal panel meeting. We were almost late due to the wonderful Denver traffic. Thanks Denver!

When we got to the insurance building we were met by John. He gave us an overview of what would happen in the meeting and told us that they would make a decision on the appeal today after our meeting.

The meeting lasted about 20 minutes for us. The meeting facilitator introduced the three panel members who would be voting and explained the agenda to Sarah and I. Then they had the Analyst John, give a summary of what we were asking in the appeal to the panel.

At this point the facilitator gave me the floor and allowed me to present my case for why I believed the surgery was medically necessary. Sarah added a few points as well!

Next, the facilitator asked the panel if they had any questions for us. They asked a few questions. Then our part was done.

We thanked them for allowing us to be there and for listening to our case. John walked us out, and now it was time for them to review all the info, deliberate, and most importantly, vote.

We were really unsure what to expect from this appeal meeting, but it was all rather cordial and pleasant. When we were leaving John said to me, "You did a really good job!" Sarah and I took that as a sign to be cautiously optimistic.

As we were leaving, John told us he would send out paperwork later this week with the panel's decision, but I asked if he would email me today, so I would know and not have to wait for days for an answer.

Sarah and I got back to our house in Colorado Springs from Denver and there was an email waiting from John.

The verdict was in...we checked nervously...APPROVED!

We were ecstatic! I jumped around the house like a little kid at the excitement of Christmas shouting, "Praise the LORD!"

So, now we will start the process of getting the surgery planned again, this time with insurance approval!

I am so thankful for the many family members and friends that have been praying for this. The past eights months have been hard dealing with this. Today was a huge relief and blessing!

I'll will keep this blog updated with surgery details, so be looking for that.

As always, thanks for taking the time to read my blog. May God richly bless you and your family!

A New Chapter

2013-08-08T16:49:00.002-06:00

So let's go back ten years in my life...

In March of 2003, I was diagnosed with a chronic condition called Crohn's Disease. After the diagnosis I started to do well with medicine to control it. The few years before that diagnosis were hard. I was sick, anemic, weak, in pain, and most days I had to be near a bathroom at all times. There were a lot of sleepless nights, pain, and weight loss. I have a mild case of this horrible disease.

I started getting tested for things in January of 2003, but after lots of blood draws, urine and stool samples, and other tests, my primary care doctor sent me for a colonoscopy. That's were I got the diagnosis of Crohn's. I was placed on a medicine that seemed to control my Crohn's.

After my one and two year check ups things seemed to be going fine and my gastroenterologist declared my Crohn's in remission. He said to just keep taking the medicine until something changes. If I start to have symptoms again we will take another look at treatment. The upside to this, no Crohn's symptoms; the down side, six pills a day for the rest of my life. Taking pills is much better than being sick all the time. Overall, things have gone well.

Fast forward to April of 2013...

I am sitting in training for a new job and I get a voicemail from the pharmacy that said to call about my prescription. On a break, I call and they inform me that the medicine I have been taking for the past ten years is no longer being manufactured, due to some non-active ingredient in the coating of the pill that is known to cause cancer in rare cases.

Needless to say, that was not a fun phone call. It left me with a lot of questions. So I called my doctor to see what we could do.

Long story short, we found out they made an HD version of the medicine I was taking that was still being manufactured. It was 3 pills a day instead of 6, but that same amount of the medicine. So my doctor prescribed that and referred me to a Gastroenterologist for a long term solution.

I met with the Doctor and he recommended we do a colonoscopy to take a look at things, and that way we would could make a better informed decision as to what to do moving forward. He was optimistic that since the medicine I had been taking was not really designed for my problem area, and was keeping my Crohn's mostly symptom free, that I might be able to stop taking the medicine all together.

That brings us to today, the day of my second colonoscopy. Most adults have no need for one of these procedures until they are in their 50's or so, and I have had two before age 35, joy.

Side Note: If you have never had a colonoscopy they are not fun. The day before, you have to fast (not eat), drink lots of water, and take super laxatives. This is a terrible combination that leaves you feeling awful. The procedure itself is not too bad (because they give you drugs that make you sleep), but the preparing is horrible. I digress...

So after my colonoscopy today, I got great news from the doctor that there were no signs of active Crohn's Disease! He said he is "cautiously optimistic that my Crohn's is completely in remission." He also said that I could stop taking my pills. YES!!!

After 10 years of taking pills everyday I get to stop! God is good and he kicked my Crohn's Disease butt (pun intended). After a 10 year journey with Crohn's Disease, I get to start a new chapter, one with without pills to take. :-) Please pray that my Crohn's stays in remission. Sarah and I have been praying for this ever since we found out that they stopped manufacturing the pills I was taking.

If you took the time to read this, thanks for reading my blog, and I pray that God will bless you and your family.

My First Surgery

2013-07-03T22:19:00.003-06:00

You might already know that back in March I got braces (if not, read about it here) to start a long journey to get my underbite fixed. Today was another major step towards that.

I had a periodontal surgery today called, "Osseous Ridge Graft/ Augmentation." Basically, what that means is, I had bone added to my top jaw above my front six teeth.

They way it works is: they recess you gum, drill holes in your jaw and pack ground up bone into the holes and into the ridges between your teeth, then put a membrane down, put your gum tissue back in place, and suture it all back together. Sounds fun right? Oh and I had it all done with just local anesthetic. The surgery took just over an hour and believe or not, I drove myself home afterwards.

So you might be thinking, why did Tony need this surgery? Great question! After the surgery your own bone and gum tissue grows back in the graft area, and this gives you better bone and gum tissue and better foundation for the roots of your teeth.

I had to have this surgery because they need to move my teeth on my top jaw a lot to get them to where they are supposed to be and make my jaw fit right after I have the surgery to fix my underbite some time in the future.

My Orthodontist was worried that I might not have enough jaw bone and gum tissue to support all the movement. So he sent me to a Periodontist to have an evaluation, to see if he thought I might need this surgery. After my Orthodontist and Periodontist consulted they decided it would be best and prevent future problems like the roots of my teeth popping out of my gums. Ouch!

The recovery is fairly simple antibiotics and a mouth wash to help the healing, along with ice for the swelling. Oh and I get narcotics for the pain. I can resume normal activity after a few days, and in a week or so they will take out the stitches.

Anyways, my first surgery of my life is in the books, and although it was minor, it was a pretty strange experience, not to mention I have ground up cadaver bone in my jaw and gums. Weird Right?

For those of you that prayed for me, thanks so much, I appreciate it!

And as always thanks for reading my blog, may God bless you and your family!

PS Here are a couple pictures, just a note they are a little graphic:

You can see some of the stitches, and the swelling where the bone was added behind my gums.

Here is a closer look than above, Sarah gaged while taking this pic, lol.

Best Father's Day Ever!

2013-06-16T23:59:00.001-06:00

Today is Father's Day. A day we celebrate those we call, "Dad." I had a great day!

I am grateful to have a wonderful father on this earth who has always been there for me and sacrificed for me. He is a very loving father and a great role model.

I am also grateful to have a wonderful father-in-law. FYI, I hate the term in-law, I just prefer the term family, and I call him Dad as well. He is also a wonderful man who is a great role model.

Both Dad's have done something that I truly appreciate, they have helped me understand the best Dad of all better, My Heavenly Father. Through the love of these two men I have come to better understand God as a Father who loves his children, even better. For that I am eternally grateful!

I am also grateful to be a Dad to two beautiful children! I only hope that I will be as good of a Dad and role model as my Dad and Sarah's Dad have been to us!

Now that the sappy stuff is out of the way, back to my day...

It started by Sarah allowing me to sleep in. I haven't sleep past sunrise in way too long. It was nice. When I got up Sarah made me breakfast as I watched TV and played on facebook, all while Carmen and Uriah were jumping on me saying, "Happy Father's Day!"

After breakfast we debated going to church, but we have all been battling sickness and with all the coughing we decided to stay home.

I had an outdoor soccer game at noon today, and wouldn't you know it, about five minutes into the game, I scored the games first goal! It would turn out to be the winning goal, as my team won 3-0!

After soccer, I took a shower and then watched some US Open Golf, well for a few minutes anyway, before I fell asleep.

I got to sleep in and take a nap in the same day, how glorious!!!

After our nap we gave our Dad's a call to chat with them, and tell them, "Happy Father's Day!"

Then we ate dinner. After dinner we stopped by my Dad's house to give him his Father's Day Gift.

Then came the highlight of my day.

We decided to go cheer on the Fire Fighters/ First Responders who have been fighting the Black Forest Fire.

If you didn't know (which must mean you live in a sad world with no access to any kind of media. That also begs the question, how are you reading this?), last Tuesday, June 11 a fire started in Black Forest, CO that has become the most destructive fire in the history of the State.

The fire is/ was about 5 miles north of our home and our neighborhood. The fire fighters did such a great job of holding the southern boundary containment line of the fire, that it never got closer than 5 miles from our neighborhood.

So we wanted to go say thank you to these heroes, personally.

It was awesome to be part of a large crowd (I would say at least 500 people) cheering for the fire fighters as they went to and came from fighting the fire. I teared up a couple of time as I watched the fire fighters smile and wave to the people in the crowd.

Many of them had their cell phones out and were taking videos of the people clapping, screaming, and cheering them on. The fire fighters were waving back and yelling, and honking the horns, turning on the sirens, and flashing the lights of the vehicles.

It was easily, the best parade I have ever been too!

Besides the parade of fire fighters, a couple of highlights:

There was this young boy near us cheering, "Black Forest Strong," over and over as the fire fighters vehicles passed by.

Then there were the fire fighters that came into the crowd and were thanking the people there for their support. It was cool! Uriah got to fist bump a couple of them, after I shook their hands and said, Thank You!" Here is a picture:

But, by far the most heart wrenching and beautiful thing I saw was an older lady holding a sign, that said, "Thank you for saving my home!"

Being at the shift change tonight was one of the best things we have ever done as a family.

You can view some pictures I took here: PICTURES

You can view a video I took here: VIDEO

I couldn't think of a better way to end my Father's Day, then cheering on fire fighters, who have been working tirelessly to get this Black Forest Fire contained and out.

I would guess that many of them are Father's themselves and would have loved to be with their families. I pray that God will bless them for all their selfless, tireless, and hard work.

This truly was my best Father's Day yet!

PS: If you live in the area and have a chance to make it to a shift change, go do it! They are at 8AM & 8PM at Pine Creek High School

PSS: As always, thanks for reading my blog, may God bless you and your family!

My New Metal Mouth...

2013-03-27T21:07:00.001-06:00

So...today I got braces. Well, actually I got some of the brackets to hold the wires and some separators to make space for some bands to hold brackets on my molars last week. But today, I got the rest of the brackets and the wires in the brackets.

So, now I'm officially on a several year journey to get my jaw fixed. In a year or so, I will need an oral surgery in which they cut and rearrange my jaw to a proper bite. My top jaw will be moved forward, and my bottom jaw back, and my jaw will be wired shut for six weeks after the surgery. Sounds like fun doesn't it?

But before we go on we need to go back in time...

As a kid, most of my adult teeth grew in crooked. In fact, one grew in almost sideways. My bottom jaw began to grow faster than my top jaw, so I developed an under-bite. At the advice of the dentist, my parents got me braces. Thanks Mom and Dad!

I wore braces for about seven years of my childhood, spanning from elementary to high school. They tried to fix my under-bite with some appliances and the braces, but it didn't really work. We were told that surgery would be the only way to fix it, but I didn't have to do that.

My under-bite was pretty minor at that point. But what we didn't know, was that not getting surgery assumed I was done growing, and that my under-bite didn't get worse. As you can probably guess, I continued to grow through college, and so did my under-bite. My top jaw didn't grow enough and my bottom jaw grew too much.

From then until now I had dentists ask if I had ever seen an orthodontist, and ask if my jaw hurt and such. My last dentist asked me to consult with an orthodontist in his office, so I did. He told me what I had heard since getting my braces off as a kid, that it would take surgery to fix my bite, but if I don't have pain and I can chew, it's not a big deal.

So, I planned to go through life with my under-bite. Besides, I survived the teasing of kids in junior high, high school, and college without becoming a mass murderer, and I learned how to deal with eating problems. You can imagine how fun eating an apple or corn on the cob is for me.

On October 10, 2012 I got new dentist, and seeing him for the first time changed everything.

For the first time in my life, this new dentist explained that I needed to get my bite fixed, or I might not have any teeth in 10 years, and they can't make dentures for my bite. He also informed me that my bite was destroying my teeth and that's why I had so many crowns, fillings, and root canals, despite my good oral hygiene. At least my gums are really healthy!

On top of that, he told me the stress from my bite can cause all kinds of bone problems in my jaw that could lead to all kinds of problems and surgeries. I was shocked. I told him how I had been on other consults, and they always acted like it was no big deal. To which he said they probably didn't want to deal with an under-bite as severe as mine, because it's hard work. I had never had a dentist be so candid with me before, and more than that, he seemed to actually care.

So my new dentist asked me to go see another orthodontist in town who was one of the best in the country with helping people fix their under-bites. So I did.

The orthodontist said I definitely need to have this surgery, and confirmed everything my dentist said. So, after some fancy x-rays, bite impressions/ models, oral examinations, a treatment plan, a consult with a periodontist, a consult with an oral surgeon, a revised treatment plan, and two more office visits to the orthodontist, we are back to today. Me with a mouth full of metal and sore teeth.

I'm not sure what the point of this blog is other than to inform people who might care. Well, and to say that braces suck, but being an adult with braces really sucks! I would really covet your prayers as I continue on this adventure, because as you might guess it's not cheap and we are not sure where we will get the money for the oral surgery yet (that's the most expensive part and only partially covered by our medical insurance).

If you took the time to read this blog, thanks for caring about me! I pray that God blesses you and your family greatly!

Oh, and just for fun here's a picture of my new metal mouth:

Hey homies, check out my new grillz!!

Pharisee Syndrome or Lack of Contentment

2013-03-14T21:43:00.002-06:00

In February, I listened to Dan Jessup from Young Life, ask this question while talking to a lot youth workers in Colorado Springs,

"Can you know Jesus, but not really know Jesus?"

What do you think?

I believe the answer is yes.

I have believed this for years. I believe that there are a lot of people who know about Jesus, but don't really have a relationship with Jesus. I believe that this is a huge problem in many churches in America today, but that's another post for another day.

Dan went on talk about how this happened with Jesus' twelve closest followers on Earth. One of them named Philip asked this of Jesus in John 14:8, "...Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us."

To paraphrase Jesus' reply, He says, "Seriously Philip? Don't you know after all this time with Me, that if you have seen Me, you have seen the Father? Don't you know by now the Father and I are one?"

How is it possible that after walking around with Jesus for three years, that Philip, and most likely some of the other disciples, didn't know Jesus was God? I mean Philip would have watched countless miracles, and heard Jesus talk about this numerous times. How is this possible? How is it possible today? I mean we have the Bible and history to learn from?

It's possible, because we get caught up in doing things for Jesus and following rules, and the relationship with Jesus gets lost. I call it the Pharisee syndrome. The Pharisees were so caught up in being religious and holy, and following all the rules of the OT, that they forgot that God wanted a relationship with them.

We are usually quick to judge the Pharisees, point fingers at them, and say things like, Jesus was proving to you that He was God and you ignored it, denied it, and then you killed Him, dumb Pharisees. I know I have been guilty of this.

Dan Jessup said this and it rocked my world, "Read the New Testament like you are a Pharisee."

He said that reading the NT this way will make it come more alive, it will be more convicting, and it will create humility in your life that you never had before.

My first thought, was wow! The way Jesus talked about the Pharisees, I don't want Him to feel that way about me. But I started to think about it, I have been thinking about it, and Dan is right. Some of the passages I have read many times have been coming to life in a different way for me.

I think that if a lot of us are honest, there are times when we are a lot like the Pharisees. There are times when we get so caught up with things in life that we forget about our relationship with God, we deny it, ignore it, and we try to do things on our own.

Sure we may not be hung up on the over 600 laws of the OT, because many are not relevant today. But I will tell you this, if your life is anything like mine, life is so busy that Jesus is competing with a lot of stuff for some of your time. I believe that this is how slowly, over time, people know a lot about Jesus, but don't really know Jesus.

Dan went on to say that he believes that many people lack joy in their relationship with Christ and this contributes to people not really knowing Jesus. He said that gratefulness and generosity come from joy in Christ. When we are grateful, we don't whine, and we become more generous. Gratefulness and generosity create contentment, and the Bible teaches us to be content.

People in America do not know how to be content. I believe this was part of the Pharisees' problem as well. They could never be content with how well they were doing following the rules.

The solution to this problem of lack of contentment is that we need Jesus. We need Jesus to rule over every area of our lives. We need Jesus to completely invade every area of our lives. Only then can we know true joy, become grateful and generous people, content in our lives, and our relationship with Jesus.

How about you? Where is your contentment level? Do you need more stuff, more time, more something?

I have been working to change some priorities in my life, because I want to be filled with the joy of Christ. I want to be more generous. I want to be grateful for all that God has given me, and recognize all the blessings in my life. I want the true contentment that only Jesus can give me. Maybe you will join me on this journey?

If you took the time to read this blog, thanks! Please pray for me, and I pray that you will seek God, and allow Jesus to rule over all areas of your life, and that you will find joy and contentment in Him.

Blessings.

Oh The Depravity...

2013-03-13T18:34:00.001-06:00

So I am getting up on my soap box for this post, and speaking to fellow Christians who say silly things like this,

"Our State just made it legal to carry a tiny amount of Marijuana, our world is getting so depraved!"

or

"There are people who want to let gay people get married, our world is getting so depraved!"

or countless other similar ignorant statements.

NOTE: Now let me say this right away, I am not interested in debating whether or not legalizing weed or gay marriage is good, bad, moral, or anything else. If you want to debate these things with someone, that's great, but I WILL NOT ENGAGE WITH YOU!

What I want to address is the ignorance and harm of making a statement like this, because here's the deal, this so called depravity is not new, and it makes you seem hateful.

Please go study some history, and you will find that hundreds and even thousands of years ago there were cultures and societies that were just as, if not more depraved than ours. America or anywhere else.

Let me give you an example, first Century Rome and Roman culture. If you're not sure, that would be around the time Jesus was walking around Earth over in what we now call the "Middle East."

At any rate, here are some things you could see pretty regularly there: drugs, prostitution (male and female and at the temple or what we call church today), sexual slavery, public baths and brothels with orgies going on, rape, murder, stealing, burglaries, extortion, corrupt government leaders, oppression of other people groups, work slavery, extreme racism, women were treated like possessions not people, etc.

You see what I am getting at? First century Rome and Roman culture was extremely perverse, I would be willing to bet even more so than modern day America.

Here is another example, go even further back, thousands of years before Jesus' time on Earth, and read the book of Leviticus in the Bible. There are over 600 rules that God gives the Israelites, His chosen people. These are rules to live by. If you take Leviticus Chapter 18 for example. This chapter contains all kinds of sexual rules, things like don't have sex with your mom, dad, sibling, or an animal.

If people had to be told not to do these things, that means, you know...they were doing them. That's some pretty messed up or depraved stuff.

Even further back in history, do some research on why God flooded the Earth in the time of Noah. You will find that it was because people had become so depraved that they were beyond saving, so God wiped them all out.

Here is my point in all this ranting: since sin entered the world people have been doing things that are considered "immoral" or "depraved," and they always will. Even a casual reading of the Bible or study of history confirms this.

So with all that being said, here is where I take issue with statements like the ones I posted at the beginning of the blog for three major reasons:

1. It's untrue. Depravity has and will always be around until Jesus returns to fix the world.

2. It comes off as hateful to people who are gay, or smoke weed, or whatever other sin they are talking about.

3. We all sin. Most people who say stuff like that use it as way to get out of their obligation to love people the way Jesus does. They act like someone else's sin is somehow worse than theirs, because it's a different sin. Thus, they say, "those people," are going to hell, so I can't be near them. This is what the Pharisees did, and why Jesus was at such odds with them. In the good ole USA, I see this most often directed towards the gay community. Many American Christians are very hateful towards the LGBT community and this HAS TO STOP!

In conclusion, people who don't know Jesus and need Him, don't need Christians telling them that they are causing the depravity of society. The truth of the matter is, that if society is getting more depraved, it's all of our fault. As Christians we should be known by our love, not thought of as hateful. So please, please, please, think before you speak!

Ok I'm getting off my soap box now!

If you took the time to read this blog, thanks. I hope and pray that you doing your best to live in a way that leads people towards the eternal hope, freedom, and love that Jesus provides.

Good Bye 2012

2013-01-16T12:17:00.001-07:00

Well, I haven't written a blog post in several months, maybe I'll do better this year. I really want to try to blog once a month, but often I don't feel like I have anything funny enough or important enough to share. But as the year 2012 came to an end I am hoping that 2013 will be much better.

I had a rough go job wise in 2012 and it's beginning to take a toll on our family financially. I have been unemployed since mid-September and while trying hard for four months I haven't found a job.

Other than my job situation we had a pretty good year. We were able to spend a lot of quality time with family different times this year, we built a beautiful house that we are loving, I got to spend a lot of time with my kiddos (due to not having a job), and I didn't break any bones.

Here is to hoping and praying the 2013 is a great year. May God bless you and your family. Thanks for reading my blog.

Complement Not Complete

2012-10-19T22:00:00.000-06:00

Found this draft I never posted. I wrote it May 2, 2011, but it still seems worth posting so here it is:

A while ago the Pastor at my church did a sermon series on relationships. I just happened to hear something today that reminded me of something he said that has stuck with me, “God designed men & women to complement each other, not complete each other.”

I really like that statement. It reminds me that our identity, value, self-worth, etc. must come first from knowing that we are a child created in the image of God. This is the only way we can feel complete. If we don’t start there, then we set ourselves up for hardship.

Inevitably, the people we love will let us down, disappoint us, and even hurt us. If we are honest, we will do the same to those we love. I know I have. I have hurt those closest to me, because of my own selfishness. Getting past this is not easy, because it’s unnatural for us to think of others first. It’s hard for us to rely only on God, and it’s hard not to seek fulfillment from people and things in our world.

I know cognitively what am I supposed to do to fix this in my life. I have been a pastor, I have taught about this, and talked with people about it a lot. Even with all that knowledge, practically I fail at this, but I don’t know why. So I’m praying. I’m asking God to change me, to help me know and feel that He is enough for me, to help me think of others before myself, and to forgive and forget when someone wrongs me. I’m praying that God makes me more like Jesus everyday.

I know I’m not saying anything new or profound, but maybe you can relate, maybe you can say, “me too.” If that’s the case, I ask that you would pray for me, and I would love to pray for you as well.

Our world would be so much different if we would all learn this simple principle that Jesus taught us; to Love God with all that we are, and Love others the same way. I can’t wait for Heaven when that is a reality!

Thanks for reading my blog. May God richly bless you as you seek to follow Him and do His will.

Youth Pastor Down...

2012-02-08T13:15:00.007-07:00

Found this draft of a blog I wrote back last summer, but I never posted. From July 2011:

I just need to get this off my mind and what better way than on my blog that very few people read. Anyways, I love youth ministry and I love to network, encourage, and help other youth pastors. Lately many of my friends in youth ministry seem to be getting beat up. By who? The leadership of their churches (i.e. Senior Pastors, Executive Pastors, Elders, Deacons, Parents, etc.).

I hate it that many of my friends in youth ministry are treated so badly by the leadership of the churches they work for. Honestly, it breaks my heart. I believe this poor treatment of youth pastors is the reason for the high turnover rate of youth pastors at most churches. This is an epidemic in churches today.

Many youth pastors are treated like second rate, junior varsity pastors. They are often overworked, underpaid, under resourced, and under appreciated. Yet they persevere, because they love letting God use them to change the lives of middle and high school kids forever.

I know several youth pastors who have quit from a church, are very close to that point, or have been let go. The sad part is that most of the time this has nothing do with their youth ministry itself. Most of them are doing a great job, they are seeing numerical and spiritual growth. However, they have quit or are close to quitting, because they are being treated poorly by the leadership of the church. Too often there are unwritten and unspoken expectations of youth pastors that they get hassled about. Many times people in leadership don't have their youth pastor's back.

I can tell you from experience, that their job is stressful enough with out that kind of crap. It's truly heart breaking how many of my friends in youth ministry have struggles with their church leadership.

If you are reading this and have a youth pastor at your church (especially if you are a parent with kids in the youth ministry) please treat them well. If you can help them please do, they need it! Support them, care for them, and pray for them, encourage your church leadership to do the same.

If you are a pastor/ elder/ church leader and happen to read this, remember that your youth pastor also needs to be pastored, mentored, loved, and cared for, just like anyone else in your church. Remember that God calls us to be faithful to Him first, our families second, and everything else (including our job/ ministry/ role on church staff) after that.

We really need to treat youth pastors better in the church, and then more of them would stick around long term which is better for them, your church, and the Kingdom! Think about it...

Thanks for reading. May God bless you as you seek to do His will!

Stange Experience

2011-09-17T12:48:00.007-06:00

So I had a pretty strange experience yesterday (9/16/2011), I went to see an Orthopedic Surgeon for the first time in my life. Let me back up...

I have played baseball ever since I can remember. After High School I started playing men's competitive slow pitch softball. I had a minor right shoulder injury my sophomore year of High School, but recovered with physical therapy. Since then my shoulder has been fine.

In April 2011, I played in a softball tournament in Aurora, CO. We played about 5 games that day and after my right shoulder was sore. It slowly got worse, but I still had good range of motion, and strength, so like any guy does I figured it would just get better and there was no reason to go see the doctor.

A month later (May 2011), it was still hurting so I went to my doctor. He thought it was just swelling and gave me some anti-inflmatory pills. They didn't help. But life got busy, I took a season off softball, went to South Africa, and my shoulder never really stopped hurting.

I went back to my doctor in August 2011. He took some X-Rays, couldn't see anything there, so he referred me to the Orthopedic Surgeon. Now we are all caught up. Recap, hurt my arm on April 16, and I'm finally on the road to recovery on September 16, five months later. I know typical guy.

The Orthopedic Surgeon said, "The good news is there is no arthritis or bone spurs, but the bad news is that I have Tendinitis (swelling/ inflammation) in my shoulder and a Slap Tear."

So to help with the tendinitis I got a Cortisone Shot in my right shoulder, that was the afore mentioned strange experience. Most of my issues are in the front of my shoulder, but they administer the shot from the back of your shoulder. The needle was bigger than any other shot I have ever had. Thankfully, they spray you with a numbing medication to help with pain and the shot itself had some numbing medication with it. However, feeling a large needle moving around in your shoulder and the pressure that comes with it was, well, a strange feeling.

I also have to do 6-8 weeks of physical therapy which I start on September 20. I have a 50/ 50 chance of that healing my shoulder, or I will need surgery to repair the SLAP Tear. I have never had or needed a surgery before, so that was also a strange thing to hear.

Thought it would be fun to share this experience with those who care about me. Here's to hoping and praying that the physical therapy will heal my right shoulder. And as always thanks for reading my blog.

Love God & Live Free!

PS: Not looking for sympathy, but prayers are appreciated!

Pictures From South Africa.

2011-08-13T12:56:00.009-06:00

You can check out pictures that relate to my blogs about our trip to South Africa on my Facebook page.

Pictures of Days 1-8.

Pictures of Days 9-13.

Enjoy.

And as always, thanks for reading.

Blessings,

Tony

Leaving & Traveling: SA Trip Days 12 & 13

2011-08-06T00:42:00.007-06:00

Thursday was our last day in South Africa and it turned out to be a busy adventuresome day. We started with breakfast, then headed to the church to meet some people who missed us on Sunday and wanted to meet us (mostly Josh).

After that we checked out a mall in Pretoria, then went back to the house to pack all of our stuff and load the cars. Before heading to the airport we hit one last market to get some souvenirs and gifts for people. After surviving the market and pushy sales people, we were off to the airport until the rental car got a flat tire. It would not have been that big of a deal, except that there was no owners manual, and the tools were missing from the kit to change the tire. After some ingenuity from Ryan and Dad, we got the spare tire on and got back on our way.

The delay caused us to hit rush hour traffic in Johannesburg, which got us to get to the airport with about an hour to spare for making our flight. Thankfully some of the flight crew got stuck in the same traffic, and so we made our flight with no problem. We would spend the next 11 hours or so on the British Airways Boeing 747. Lots of fun.

When we got to London Heathrow Airport, we had to go through three different security check points. First, normal security after we landed and had to get to a different terminal, then at the America Airline check in place, and then again at our departure gate. Sarah left the gate to buy a drink and they gave her a pat down when she came back in. They take their security serious in London.

Anyways, after and 11 hour flight from Johannesburg and two hour break we where on an 8 1/2 hour flight to Chicago. Once we landed in Chicago we had to clear customs and re-check our bags. It ended up being less of a hassle than I thought it would be. We parted ways Jess, Ryan, & Josh after going through security. As we were getting ready to board our final flight of our long trip home, Sarah noticed that famous country singer & actress Leann Rimes was on our flight from Chicago to Denver. That was kind of cool.

That flight was about an hour and half and seemed like nothing compared to the last two. Once in Denver a friend picked us up in our car (Thanks Jordan), we dropped him back at his house in Aurora and then headed home.

Once we got home Sarah and I took some much needed showers, which felt amazing after 35 hours of traveling. Once dressed and feeling better we headed to my Mom & Dad's house to pick up our kids and dogs (thanks Mom, Dad, & Chris).

It was a joyous reunion. We spent a quiet evening at home and once the kids went to bed Sarah and I spent time reflecting on the great trip and both crashed pretty early in the evening. I think I was out by 9 PM or so which for me is really early for me.

We had a great time and have memories and experiences that will last a lifetime.

FYI: District 9/ Prawn Update: Due to a lack of time I was not able to do enough investigation to confirm or deny the existence of District 9 and/ or Prawns living in Johannesburg.