The Rational Dad

Seeking Rational Dads and Moms

2009-10-27T12:39:00.002-04:00

I've been selected to beta test Twitter's new lists feature, which lets any user create their own list of Twitter accounts and then to (optionally) publish that list for others to follow. If you haven't been selected to beta test this feature then you won't be able to see any of the lists that have been created so far (you'll see this message instead), but I've seen some pretty interesting ones so far and I think it will be a very useful feature.

In any case, once they become public you'll be able to see my list: Rational Parents¹. So if you're a rational/secular/skeptical/humanist/scientist/atheist dad or mom, drop me a line on Twitter so I can add you to the list!

Footnotes:
1.) I happen to enjoy following other fathers on Twitter - it's like a co-sympathy support group - so I'll also be maintaining separate Rational Dads and Rational Moms lists with only the fathers and mothers respectively from the main list. However, the "official" list of this blog will be Rational Parents.

A Personal Challenge

2009-10-27T09:14:00.000-04:00

This is a great meme started by @alex over on Twitter:

Quick, what fundamental idea of yours will you challenge today?

Mine: That natural medicine/remedies are generally snake oil.

While I still don't think they all do what they claim, and some claims just can't be substantiated, tens of thousands of years worth of ancestors got by without medicine born in a lab, and it all boils down to chemistry. I'm sure some plant compounds do have beneficial effects when ingested. The challenge is sorting the wheat from the chaff, so to speak. I will have to do some research over the next few days and try to find any examples that might support this theory.

What personal belief will you challenge today? Pass it on!

Occam's Razor

2009-10-27T08:51:00.000-04:00

Had to share this :) (Via the Atheist Hit Squad)

Question Everything (Faith Does Not Equal Science)

2009-10-26T15:53:00.003-04:00

Faith Vs. Science

Blogger, scientist and militant atheist PZ Myers recently wrote about an ongoing argument between fellow atheist Christopher Hitchins and a Christian pastor named Douglas Wilson. He quotes Wilson as saying:

"It's not a question of whether we have faith, it's what we have faith in. Christopher has faith in the role of scientific inquiry, rational inquiry. He has faith in that process. Christopher is as much a man of faith as I am."

Myers goes on to rant (rightfully so) that science does not equal faith, but commenter "Dr. I. Needtob Athe" hits the nail on the head with this:

"Faith, by definition, is belief without evidence, but one believes in scientific, rational inquiry due to the overwhelming evidence that consists of the tremendous and still growing body of scientific knowledge that brought us from the stone age to where we are today."

This is the key to the debate of religion versus science. Religion starts with a supposition (creation, the great flood, etc.) and then selectively applies or discards rational observations in order to support itself. Science starts with a hypothesis and then applies tests in an attempt to disprove it, at which point a new hypothesis may be formed, or support it, at which point it becomes an accepted theory.

The Difference

The difference becomes all too clear when you compare how negative observations are handled. Scientists have no problem admitting when they are wrong, even if a long accepted theory is eventually dis-proven. Once a predictable model stops working, science looks for a new model. But never have we seen modern Christian, Judaic or Islamic (et. al.) beliefs challenged, adapted or discarded based on a negative rational observation. These are simply ignored, or worse, challenged with pseudo-science in order to preserve specific, often literal, interpretations of religious writings. When an observation disproves a religious model, religion goes looking for a new observation.

What's most unfortunate in this argument is that try as one might, rational argument will always fail in the face of religious dogma. Faith is a circular argument and no amount of evidence can shake it. The most entrenched religious believers will always claim that the rational evidence is flawed, biased or conspiratorial. A challenge to their faith is seen as a challenge directly from god, which is answered by yet more faith.

Question Everything

It is for this very reason that rational parenting is so important. We must teach our children as early as possible to question, test, discover and observe. No tenent should be accepted at face value, and every theory, be it scientific or religious in nature, is meant to be poked and prodded in an attempt to disprove it.

Tips

Children are naturally curious, and we do a great disservice to them by denying them the right to disagree or challenge what we, as adults, think we know.

Don't be afraid to admit that you don't know the answer to something. There is more to be gained by showing your child how to find out about something. Take them to the library or help them research a topic on the Internet.
Try to refrain from saying "Because I said so," or "Because I'm the adult." Explain your reasons whenever possible. Accept challenges by your child, even if you ultimately stand your ground.
Teach your child that's it's OK to be wrong about things. Help them understand that failing a task is still a lesson learned. Encourage them to try a different approach to a task using what they just learned.
Help your child understand the difference between debating and arguing.
Make sure they understand that authority/governance doesn't necessarily equal authority/mastery, but both should be treated with respect.

An Addendum to the Santa Post

2009-10-26T12:14:00.002-04:00

I experienced a large amount of agita after my last post about Captain Kringle. After reading it a few times over I couldn't help but fear that I came off as fundamentally anti-Santa, when in fact I'm as much a fan of Santa as I am of Harry Potter. That is to say I think Santa is a terrific story character, and as I said previously he stirs the imaginations of children which is what is important.

What I was trying to get across is that I don't think it's necessary or wise to continue to convince children that Santa is a real person. He is just as fantastic as a fictional literary element.

I think I'll stop the explanation there lest I stick my foot in my mouth again.

Santa Clause - The Other White Lie

2009-10-21T22:31:00.006-04:00

Update: I have attempted to clarify a few things from this post over here.

To Santa, or not to Santa?
Let's face it - there's just no getting around Christmas. That holiday seems to start earlier with each passing year, and once it starts it's unavoidable. I could probably write a dozen articles on dealing with Christmas in a secular family, but lets start with an issue that is most likely to come up with young children - Santa.

What kid wouldn't latch onto a story about a jolly, magic elf-man showering them with presents in the middle of the night? And even if you don't mention the old guy at home, it's inevitable that he'll be introduced to your kids at day care or from someone else in the family or on TV or just from seeing so much of him in all the stores. Even in our house, with no TV and no specific discussion of Santa, before long our daughters had Santa books and were singing Santa songs and writing lists to Santa and bringing home Santa crafts.

For some, this might not be a big deal. It's a tradition going back hundreds of years, and it really has nothing to do with religion anyway, and if you're like me your parents told you about Santa and you turned out alright, right? I'll leave it up to you to decide if it's something that should or shouldn't be a part of your family, but here are a few tips for those of you who are against it.

It's just another story
Our girls love having books read to them, and chief among them are any stories involving princesses and fairies. We've already established that princesses don't really live like that, and that fairies don't really exist, so we had no problem explaining Santa is just another character in a story. We don't have to say specifically "There is no Santa," or "Santa's not real," any more than we have to repeat that there's no such thing as dragons or talking cars. They still love hearing about Santa and it stirs their imagination just as much as any other fantasy tale that we read to them.

Don't be a grinch
As important as it may be for you to not perpetuate the myth of Santa, it may be just as important for another family to stand on tradition. If your child can understand Santa as just another character in a story, then chances are he or she will be much more able to talk about Santa with other kids without even realizing that the other kids think of him as real. It would be like talking about any other fictional character that kids identify with. If your child ever does ask why other kids think he's real, just explain that some kids like to imagine him as real because it's fun to think about.

No Santa, No Lists
If you're going to do away with Santa, do away with Santa lists. They really do nothing but foster a sense of entitlement and "I Want"-ism. Instead of writing getting lists, have them write out giving lists. Encourage your child to think about gifts for friends and family. Be sure to impress upon them that not every gift has to be a material item. This exercise will help them develop a sense of charity and thoughtfulness, and hopefully avoid the materialism that often accompanies this time of year. (If your child receives an allowance, this is also a good opportunity to talk about budgeting.)

Don't feel pressured
It's quite likely that you will catch some flak about "ruining Christmas" for your child if you do decide to Not Santa. Before you feel guilty and back pedal on your decision, consider the following:

By continuing to push the idea of a Real Santa on your children, you're also pushing the idea that lying is OK if it's in the spirit of family tradition.
You don't have to go so far as to suppress the idea completely if you explain it as just another story.
Lists to Santa can be a negative reinforcement for excessive consumerism, selfishness and greed.
The idea of an omniscient man that is essentially the judge, jury and executioner of every child's happiness and dreams, that only leaves the house once a year, who controls an army of elves, and who breaks into peoples houses in the middle of the night to eat their food is, quite frankly, scary.
Would it really be that bad to get full credit for all that stuff under the tree this year?

It's not the end of the world
Should you fail in your task of rationally explaining Santa, or should your child reject your reasoning completely, it's not the end of the world. You will have bigger battles to face, like how will Santa afford all the batteries required to power all those toys this year.

Rational Atheism

2009-10-21T09:12:00.003-04:00

I'm working on my first official post, most likely on handling questions about Santa Claus et. al., but in the meantime I wanted to link to a great editorial on rational atheism, which runs counter to militant atheism. It's essentially a call for all atheists to follow the golden rule and "do unto others...". It's a quick read, but chock full of some terrific advice.

Rational Atheism: An open letter to Messrs. Dawkins, Dennett, Harris and Hitchens From the September 2007 Scientific American Magazine

Genesis

2009-10-20T16:07:00.003-04:00

About your host

My name is Chris Bloom. I'm a father, atheist, vegetarian and web developer, living in rural Massachusetts. I've been a vegetarian since about 1996, a web developer (professionally) since about 2000, and a father since 2004. I've been "out" as an atheist for a relatively short period of time, but I've been agnostic for as long as I can remember.

In the beginning...

Growing up, I was raised as a Methodist and attended church regularly with my mother. I was an active member of the congregation's youth group, attended Methodist summer camps, and did LOTS of volunteer work with the church. But through all of that, I was secretly skeptical of what I was hearing every Sunday, and as I got older I became increasingly disenfranchised with religion in general. There was a lot that didn't make sense to me in the face of science and I found that I really had to take great leaps of faith (or acts of ignorance) to reconcile what was being taught as scripture with my own observations of the world around me.

Unlike other atheists that came from a religious background, my experience was not one of evangelical brainwashing that ended in a sudden revolt against my upbringing. In fact, I would say that my experiences with the church community were by-and-large a positive influence that shaped who I am today. I would even go so far as to praise the Methodist church for its history of valuable and tangible contributions to society and a tradition of inclusion rather than exclusion.

Some might say that endorsement is hypocritical considering my frequent posts (on Twitter, Facebook and elsewhere on the web) in opposition of organized religion. It's true that I am opposed to the institution of religion in general, mostly because some very bad things are done in the name of something that is supposedly for the betterment of humankind, but I am not naive enough to think that all religious believers are bad. Still, one can't say that only religious people do good things, nor can one say that religious believers only do good things. To be fair, the same goes for non-believers, but it can then be argued that religion has nothing to do with being bad or good; a strong sense of morality and humanity do.

Which leads us to the point of this blog...

What this blog is about

This blog will tackle such issues as

Is it possible to raise a child without religion and still impress a strong sense of morals?
How do I handle questions from my child about death and mortality?
How can I stress the importance of being a good person without falling back on a religious interpretation involving heaven and an afterlife?
How do I deal with Christmas, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy?
How do I prepare my child to handle criticism from peers and adults about being non-religious?
How do I tell my family my child won't be baptized?
What if my child goes to church? What if they like it?!?!

We will touch upon all of those questions and then some. I also plan on posting reviews and recommendations for products, such as books (for kids or for parents), that go along with this theme. Along with my own thoughts on these topics, I will be providing links to other applicable media on the web. And of course I invite comments from both sides of the aisle.

What this blog is not about

And just to provide some context, I do not plan on using this as a forum strictly for criticism of religion. There are plenty of websites out there that serve that information niche. I will do my best to direct my content towards dealing with issues directly applicable to rational/secular parenting, however I may occasionally find a topic specific to atheism/secularism that I just can't help but post.

Thanks for visiting. I look forward to all future conversation.