The Real Housewife of Zurich

You're Still Here? It's Over!

2012-08-28T15:34:00.002+02:00

Remember, I'm done with this blog. No more entries here. If you want to find out about the honeymoon and how my life continues in Switzyland, make sure to check out my new blog The Honeymoon Life.

Ferris Bueller said it best:

Reflections During My Honeymoon = Big Changes For This Blog!

2012-08-20T11:52:00.004+02:00

Ok, so you guys know I just spent a month on my fantabulous honeymoon. (sneak peak picture included!)

In between the action adventure, hiking, sleeping, sleeping some more, seeing 10,000 viking museums, and eating burgers, we also had almost a full month of no distractions. That means I was provided with tons and tons (and tons) of free time to blabber on (and on and on) to Florian about all of my feelings and reflections about living here for the last year. So, prepare yourselves for a super deep blog post! I'm not sure if my ramblings will be quite coherent enough to explain what I discovered, but what the hell, I'll take a shot at elaborating. They all tie together and are sort of stepping stones on each other, and they're all pretty private revelations so you're getting to peel another layer of my onion (did that sound creepy??).

Florian unconditionally loves me. This was the hardest revelation to come by and obviously the most important. I always thought in any relationship you had to make sure you were offering the other person enough that they liked you and wanted to stay with you. When you hear people break up, they give you reasons about what the other person didn't do enough of (ie, not giving enough support, not pitching in their fair share of chores, whatever). And, sidenote, of course I knew Florian loved me, I wouldn't have married him otherwise!!!, but of course it's hard to trust in unconditional love between a married couple because you so rarely see it in America. But something further and deeper came from this trip. Florian doesn't care if I work or don't work. He doesn't care if I cook or clean or ever learn to iron. He doesn't care if I put on makeup (frankly, he probably doesn't even care if I shower that often). He doesn't love me because I do X or Y for him. He loves me because he loves me and he wants me to be happy. In fact, all he's done this whole year is try to find ways to make me happy. And all I've done this year is be miserable thinking I'm not giving him enough. Turns out, if I just stop being miserable, that's enough for him. Because he really, really loves me.
Switzerland is a magnificent and wonderful place: I had a bit of a rough transition, which of course got better with time and patience, but after this honeymoon I really feel different about my new home. I used to hate living outside of the city but now I am really enjoying the quiet and the nature I'm in. The simple beauty of the land here just makes me smile when I look around. And I have come to embrace the anonymity that Switzerland provides. I can do what makes me happy and not constantly have to worry about the pressures I felt in America.
I don't love Marketing: Stupid thing for someone to say who built a career in Marketing. I always thought I loved it! But being so far removed from America has helped to realize what I really loved about it (and it's hard to admit because it makes me sound like a jerk). I loved having an important job, working for an important company, being recognized for being smart enough to have an important job and an important company. It didn't hurt that I made above-average salaries and got treated to fancy dinners and special parties and events. And I loved the fun strategy sessions, the brainpower to come up with creative solutions. But the office politics? The finger-pointing? The constantly covering your ass? No thanks. And unfortunately, that's what Marketing jobs entail in reality.
I've been so upset/mad/sad about not finding a job because I took it as a personal reflection that the Swiss didn't think I was important, smart, or worthy: which is and it isn't true. The thing is, the Swiss don't believe in coddling everyone and telling them how great and special they are. I felt so special in America because so many people patted me on the back all the time for doing simple things. I had to get over so many of my narcissistic tendencies I learned from being a Gen Y American to realize that everyone doesn't need to constantly tell me I'm special and great to have any self esteem. Leading to realization #3...
I often do things that I think are praiseworthy/I don't know how to enjoy something just because I enjoy it: when I moved to Switzerland, everyone told me it would be great to have so much free time to spend on my hobbies. Er, except I didn't have any hobbies. I worked obsessively, took training and educational classes - those were the kinds of hobbies I had. The ones that made me look great on my resume. I hadn't ever had a specific hobby as an adult which had intrinsic value to me that I enjoyed doing it just because I enjoyed it. I didn't bike or run or race cars or build tables or make craft things. I never took the time to really learn to surf, or knit, or play tennis, or cook because I never saw the strategic value in them. I didn't want to invest precious time and energy in items that didn't further me in some way. Hence not having a hobby, and hence feeling completely let down when I relied so much on the praise of others and when that praise didn't flow freely in Switzerland.
Now that I know all of this about myself, I don't have to be this way anymore: I think really, for the first time, I will look at my future lifestyle and hobbies not just as something else I can be good at, but something fun I can do to enjoy life. Florian and I were bike riding in Copenhagen and I LOVED it! Now I'm super stoked to get a bike and just casually bike down to the lake. I don't have to be competitive, join racing teams, or anything. Just simply enjoy the weather and the wind in my hair. And when you see me cook I'm SO much less stressed now. I mean, it's such a relief to not pressure myself into thinking I should be Julia Child when I'm first learning how to poach an egg or something.
I don't have to define myself in the same ways that I used to in America: I let my work and talents define me in America. Here, I'm free to be me) ironic since America is the land of the free!). But that was also part of what was so scary in this transition - who am I if I'm not the good worker, the loud mouth, the confident girl, etc. Here, I don't have to have a tidy description of "housewife" or "American" or anything. I am "Lisa". And I like having a working definition of what that means instead of a concise and concrete definition. I want to define myself as more than a housewife. I want my blog to reflect the same.
I want to always live the honeymoon life: Florian and I had an amazing, spectacular, wonderful, mind-blowing honeymoon together. We spent 24/7 together for 4 weeks and didn't get annoyed or sick of each other. We cuddled and snuggled and gave each other kisses and held hands and talked about how much we loved our family. We talked about how great the family business is and how I might start my own business in the future. We remembered the natural beauty of Switzerland and were awed by the amazing beauty of Scandinavia. I know people say the honeymoon phase in a relationship doesn't last but I really want it to!!!! I've never been happier in my entire life.

And that is now the focus of my life. How to appreciate and love what I have, and strive to live the honeymoon life always. Okay, okay, let's be honest, I'm already living the honeymoon life! I just have to figure out how to maintain it ;)

With that said, I am happy to announce that I'm going to be officially changing my blog name to The Honeymoon Life!

You can follow me at http://thehoneymoonlife.blogspot.com/. And please don't forget to add my new blog to your RSS feeds and blog follow lists (like Bloglovin'). I know it's a pain to make the extra effort and I appreciate that you're so interested :)

How Are My New Year's Resolutions Going? Not So Well, Thanks For Rubbing It In.

2012-07-23T17:00:00.000+02:00

Technology Skills -1 Lisa - 0

So... I wrote a post before we left on our honeymoon to auto-post while we were gone. Because, you know, I was pretty sure I would be lazy about posting while on vaca and wanted you to have a little something to read. But, of course, somehow when I set it up to post it never did. So, anyway, since I already wrote it, I'll just go ahead and post it.

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Oh, January 1. Everything seemed really possible when I made a bunch of resolutions (ie, lies) about everything I would definitely accomplish in 2012. But alas, time has crept by, more than half of 2012 is gone and the thought of being able to actually complete these goals is somewhat laughable. Luckily for you, I enjoy public humiliation so I've given myself a progress Report Card below for your viewing pleasure. (BTW, you can read the original resolution post here if you really feel the need).

Lisa's 2012 Goals:

Goal	Grade	Progress Notes
Be patient	B	I wouldn't really say I've become more patient, I'd say I've become less impatient. When I have 7 hours to complete one single, simple task, yes, I spend slightly more time and effort completing the task. When I used to only have 5 minutes to do everything and life was really stressful, I was less patient if things didn't go quickly or smoothly. Okay, fine, technically I am not really patient but I am less impatient. Which therefore means I'm more patient. I bet my stupid professor gave me a "C" in my college logic class is kicking himself now, seeing as how brilliantly my logic skills have turned out.
Think before acting	C	I never think before acting. What kind of an American would I be if I were calm, rational, and thought long-term?? Over 1 year later, I still can't remember that the lock on my front door turns to the right to unlock (yes, I agree, it is counter-intuitive because we all know righty-tighty, lefty-loosey, but even that doesn't mitigate that it's been a full year and I still haven't learned).
Fail BIG	F	Sidethought: If I failed at Failing Big, does that mean I then succeeded at Failing Big? In my cynical old age, I've finally come to realize what it means that you can't teach an old dog new tricks. Or, using a positive spin, maybe I've just learned to culturally integrate well with the Swiss and therefore avoid risk like it's the plague. Either way, I've been a scardey-cat this whole year and haven't taken on any big risks or challenges.
Change the world	B+	Though I haven't made as many large-scale changes in the world as I have in the past, and that I will in the future, I spent this year changing the close relationships I have with people. I've definitely changed Florian's world, does that count? The man now eats vegetables, scrubs the bathtub, and coos at babies! And I maybe didn't save women who are being sex trafficked, but I have helped a lot of new mommies quiet crying babies and I think that does change their worlds for the better.
Be less wasteful	A-	This one I actually do! Remember I wrote that other blog post about things I already started doing to be less wasteful? Anyway, I have to give myself an A- because I take unnecessarily long, hot showers that do waste a lot of water. Otherwise, I always carry reusable bags for shopping and groceries (and even my special reusable produce bags!), I have a reusable water bottle, I recycle, I compost, etc. Look at this picture: I even bought my body wash in a less wasteful refill bag!

Lisa's 2012 Resolutions:

Resolution	Grade	Progress Notes
Become conversationally fluent in German	B+	Provided the conversation is about, say, the weather or how long I've lived in Switzerland, I can hold my own. When people ask me my opinions on things like the French presidential elections though, I pretend there is a language barrier because I wouldn't know even if someone asked me in English. Turns out not speaking the language can be a positive.
Learn to play tennis	F+	I took four lessons. I talk a lot about how I want to learn tennis. Oh, also, I'm going to watch Wimbledon tomorrow with my Mother-in-Law. I think these reason qualify why I gave it an F+. BTW, when I imagine myself playing, this is how I picture it. Super intense, I look really tall and skinny but muscular.
Go to the gym at least 100 times	F	I didn't go 100 times, or 90 times, or 80 times, or 50 times, or 30 times. No. I'm at 21 times in 7 months. I'll never again question why my thighs jiggle so much.
Take more pictures	A-	I have been taking more pictures. Maybe because I travel more, maybe because Switzerland's landscape is so gorgeous. I don't know that my skills have improved, but hey, that wasn't the goal!
Learn how to parallel park	B	I can parallel park my baby Fabia, owing in great part to the fact that she's so small and cute. And I have a beeping system that tells me when I'm getting close to another car. I didn't say new technology couldn't be a part of this goal. Stop judging me.
Cross one thing off my bucket list	TBD	There's still time in the year for this happen, so I have hope. Fingers crossed that there will be a gigantor open wild flower field that I can frolic in and run romantically towards Florian's open arms. Yep, that is actually on my bucket list :)

Some Of The Silly Stuff From Our Honeymoon

2012-07-20T23:21:00.001+02:00

So... It turns out I prefer to take pictures on this vaca with my real camera and not my crappy iPhone. All good and logical, except I have no way of getting those beautiful pictures to my iPhone to post until we're back home and have a computer. D'oh!!

In the meantime, we do take some of our silly pictures/vids on our phones so please enjoy these as you await the glamour shots of Norway.

Here I am totally rockin' a guitar solo at a Rock museum in Trondheim.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GClqnjWv66Q

Pics:

1. Florian has his head stuck up a moose's ass... Literally!

2. The views are breathtaking, but the view from our hotel in Lillehammer left a bit to be desired...

3. Sheep totally sleep in the middle of the road, like, all the time here.

4. A random pay phone started ringing on the city streets so Florian decided to pick up. Likely a drug deal gone bad.

5. Giant orgy in Oslo? Don't mind if we do!

I'm Finally On My Honeymoon!!!!

2012-07-13T21:43:00.001+02:00

Hey guys, as promised I am gonna do my best to post blogs and pics as I can WHILE I'M ON MY HONEYMOON! That's right, Florian and I are FINALLY taking our long-overdue honeymoon (only, like, a year after we got married... not terrible).

We are doing a month-long driving tour of Scandinavia and I'm basically planning on this being the coolest trip I've ever been on in my entire life (no pressure, Florian). Check out this map to see exactly where we're headed and to maybe copy the idea for your future travels.

View Honeymoon in a larger map

Just getting to Scandinavia with our car was an adventure. See if you can follow: we had to drive to Germany to take an overnight car train up to Northern Germany...

... To get the ferry to Oslo. And we spent the first night of our honeymoon in bunk beds :)

But, since I kinda want to be out enjoying our vacation and not just slaving away writing blogs, I decided to try something new here and post some video blogs. Maybe you're not interested in seeing our ugly faces, I don't know. But hey, I'm a fan of trying everything once*.

So, here's my first time driving on the autobahn in Germany!! You know, the one with no speed limit.... And my husband Mr. I Used To Race Cars On Racetracks.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXinCwciJJM

Update: apparently I can't upload a video from my phone to blogger or embed the URL. Annoying! Anyway, sorry for having to use the lame link above and not being able to have the video ready for you here and now! I also can't put the pictures in the right place in the blog, so see if you can test your IQ and figure out which picture belongs to which story.

*not everything, everything. I mean like the cool everything that makes you eat snails and go swimming in freezing water at midnight. Not so much on the creepy everything like spying on your neighbors or hiring a hooker.

How The Swiss Think I'm Not Qualified to Get A Masters Degree in Business... Despite That I Already HAVE a Masters in Business

2012-07-08T19:46:00.005+02:00

I try my hardest to stay upbeat and positive and somewhat non-judgy when I disagree with how the Swiss handle something that would have been handled "differently" (aka better) in America. I talk to myself like your therapist probably talks to you, calmly explaining to myself that diversity is good and that they surely have a very good reason for why they do it the way that they do it. And besides, I rationalize with myself, this is a good opportunity for me to learn to think differently and grow. In this instance though, I need your help. Please be my rationality and help to me understand!

Here's the scoop: I called the University of Zurich the other day to ask about their PhD programs. I'm getting better at knowing how the Swiss think, so I was already prepared for them to tell me that my US degrees were subpar and that I would need to take additional coursework for them to be considered "equal" to a Swiss degree. Heck, I wasn't sure if they would tell me I needed a whole new Masters, which I was willing to consider. Not happy about it, but it is what it is. But then, this is the conversation I ended up having:

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Me: Hello, I'm interested in applying for your Business PhD program. I have an MBA in Marketing from the US, but instead of writing a culminating thesis, I conducted a consulting project instead. I also have a Bachelors degree that was not in Business, but rather in American Political Science. I wanted to double check to see if there is some additional coursework I might need to fulfill before I can apply to the PhD program.

Admissions Lady at University of Zurich: I'm sorry but you are not prepared for a PhD program. An MBA is not a real Masters degree, and you will need a Masters degree to get accepted to the PhD program.

Me: Okay... so, if I already have an MBA, but you said the University does not consider it a Masters degree, what other Masters degree program would you suggest I apply for? It wouldn't make sense to get a degree I sort of already have.

Admissions Lady : How about a Masters in Economics?

Me: Hmmm... but my field of practice is actually in Marketing. I wouldn't be pursuing a career in Economics or really using Economics.

Admissions Lady : We do not offer a Masters degree in Marketing. But I am not sure if you will be accepted to the Masters program for Economics because your Bachelors is not focused in Business. You will have to apply and see if you get accepted, I'm not sure. But the MBA should help your application.

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So, Switzerland, let me get this straight:
1. My Masters degree is not a "real" Masters degree to you.
2. I may not be qualified to be accepted into your "real" Masters degree program.
3. What *may* help my application to your "real" Masters degree program is THE FACT THAT I ALREADY HAVE A MASTERS DEGREE!!!!!!!!!!!

Please, I'm begging you my dear readers, help talk me off the ledge on this one. There has to be a logical reason, right? RIGHT? The problem that I'm really struggling with about this incident is that it's not a single, outlier incident. In fact, it's a common incident that happens often when I try to do something in Switzerland. Remember my earlier blog post about how hard it is to get the Swiss to take my job applications seriously? All of these little stories add up to one, big, giant, heaping pile of dismay. How can I assimilate into Swiss culture better when they have built-in roadblocks to keep me out? And, no joke, how can I keep my self-esteem up when I'm constantly being told everything I've done isn't good enough??

Paris and Venice and Bears, Oh My! Two Weeks Showing My "Little Sis" Around Europe

2012-07-04T07:04:00.003+02:00

Don't throw your pen at your desk in anger as you read this blog, but yes, I did just go on another vacation. But but but!!!!!!!! This vacation was different and special because this time I had a very important girl I had to show around since it was her first trip to Europe!

Meet Skylar, my "little sister." Skylar and I were matched together when she was just 8 years old through the non-profit org Big Brothers, Big Sisters, whose goal is to help children realize their potential and build their futures. (Sidenote: I am in love with the program and can't shut up enough about it, so if you ever want to know anything about it, contact me!!!). We used to hang out all the time when I lived in San Diego, doing fun things like going to the zoo, ice skating, playing at the park, and watching baseball games. When it came time for me to move to Zurich after we'd been so close for 5 years, I promised Skylar that our relationship wasn't ending just because I was going to live farther away. In fact, I told her it gave us more opportunities to see the world together and to do bigger and better things together, albeit less often. And with that in mind, Florian and I flew Skylar out to spend two weeks in Europe with us.

There are a million little heartwarming stories I could tell you about our girly time - like how I taught her how to braid hair, how I showed her that eating broccoli won't kill her, how we rocked out to loud music in our hotel rooms, and how we talked about future baby names for my kids. And some of the most special moments were those savored only by us, as we experienced them, and the beauty of the moment is lost in trying to retell them.

But think for a minute. Can you imagine what it would have been like if the 13-year-old you had gone on an awesome dream vacation to another continent? And all the new, exciting, crazy, different things you'd think you're experiencing?

For example, the younger you wouldn't have had a problem having pigeons crawl all over you! (the video is worth watching...)

And you would have LOVED to eat a Nutella and banana
crepe while standing in front of the Eiffel Tower

You would have been in awe while taking a beautiful sunset
Gondola ride in the fabulous old waterways of Venice

And learned early on the two most important
French words a girl needs to know - Louis Vuitton

You would have struggled to pronounce Sacré-Cœur
but would have loved the view nonetheless

You would have only known Notre Dame cathedral because
of the Disney movie you'd seen just a few short years ago

And you would have thought you're going to grow up to be a
photographer because the pictures you take are amazing

The 13-year-old you would have been conflicted about whether to
try the escargot. On one hand, you want to look cool and adventurous.
On the other hand, SNAILS?? EWWWWWWWWW!

And would it have been cool or scary to eat a two hour meal in the pitch
black dark so you could experience what it would be like to be blind?

And last but not least, you DEFINITELY would have thought it
was hilarious when you saw pasta shaped like penises. And
you would have felt the need to take a secret picture.

What You Didn't Expect to Feel When You Travel - Advice From a De Facto Traveling Guru

2012-06-12T12:28:00.004+02:00

I've always loved to travel and I used to travel in the US all the time when I lived there. But now that I've moved to the middle of Europe, it's more of a compulsion than an option to travel. I mean, how can you live so close and not try to see everything?! So, when an ambitious and courageous friend of mine told me he is quitting his job and traveling the world for a year, he asked my advice about traveling and growing and learning. I figured I would share my advice with everybody out there looking to take a big, life-changing trip. Note: There are a million travel guides out there and this isn't meant to be a "how to roll your clothes to pack more in your suitcase" blog. These tips are more for how to recognize and handle your feelings as you travel through strange places and feel completely awkward and lost.

My Traveling Advice:

Assume Nothing In Your Life Has Prepared You For This: Because you've been on vacations before, or you know people who are from Greece and heard their stories, or you read a book about a place, it does NOT mean you know what you are getting yourself into. Ask any first-time parents how much they prepared before the baby and then how prepared they felt after the baby came. Recognize that you are NOT perfectly prepared and that you can't be. Which leads us to...

You Won't Be In Control, Learn To Be OK With That: You will not always get the bus ticket you wanted, the food you custom ordered, or the hotel room that's not next to the noisy street below. The customer is not always right abroad, and the most frustrated you get when you think you should have control over a situation, the less enjoyable your trip will be. Noisy street below? Go join the party! Missed your train for the day? Go enjoy another dinner! You have to keep a flexible attitude or you'll be miserable your whole trip. In foreign countries, the culture does not always adapt to your needs, sorry!

Be Ready To Feel Stupider Than You Ever Have In Your Entire Life: You think you're clever because you've learned to say hello, thank you, and I don't speak [language] in the local language. What you haven't learned is how to read the signs at the train station, how to ask for directions when you're lost in a shady part of town, what to say/do if someone picks your pocket, or what funny line to say if everyone in a restaurant stares at you (the obvious stranger). You're going to mess up a lot of stuff traveling abroad and you can't get mad at yourself for not knowing how to do everything correctly. Some countries don't think it's important to wait in line - you may be the chump standing there while everyone pushes past you and takes the last seat on the bus. You're probably thinking right now that of course you are flexible and of course you know these bad things will happen. I promise, when these things actually happen, it's much different than how you envision (from your comfortable chair in your house) how the heroic you will handle it. Just accept that you will feel helpless and dumb. Everyone does. Oh, just don't lose your passport, that's annoying to get a new one.

Don't Go In With Expectations: Expectations kill your true understanding of culture. If you get mad that you're stuck in traffic in India because you're supposed to be at X place by Y time, you'll just be frustrated the whole time. Indians to stress time like you Westerners do, so just sit back and enjoy the culture difference. As soon as you set your expectations, you're doomed to be disappointed.

Don't Think You're On Vacation: Vacation usually means relaxing, enjoying, de-stressing, and maybe drinking a little too much alcohol. Traveling to have a life-changing experience is a lot of work. You will constantly struggle to understand where to go, how to get there, what locals eat, and just as you start to feel comfortable in a place, you leave it. It's harder work than anything you've ever done in a job or back in your home life, so be ready to work. It's the rewarding kind of work, and you'll have some fun too, but don't think of it as an easy vacation or you'll be disappointed at how much more difficult everything is than you thought.

You're Not Always Going To Be Welcomed in a Foreign Land: Don't expect that every country has just been sitting around and waiting for your arrival. Yes, the Italians will welcome you with big hugs from a grandmother-like women whom you instantly love, but many other cultures find tourists annoying and a disruption to their real lives. People may be rude to you or ignore you, but don't take it personally. If it is cultural, just note the culture and learn from it. Don't think you've done anything wrong. This seems easily forgivable, until you're in a land where you feel dumb because you missed the train and got lost and the people are rude to you - it starts to strain your self-esteem.

You're Going To Be Lonely - That's OK and Part of Your Growth: As some point, you will break down and wish to be around something (anything!) familiar. You want someone to understand your that's what she said joke or who will ridicule the horrible taxi driver with you. You want people who speak native English and understand customer service. That's normal, and understandable, but also a good sign that you've been doing your travelling right by really seeing the different things the world has to offer. Stay in touch with friends and family through emails, blogs, and the occassional Skype session. Also, ask friends if they have friends in the cities you're visiting. It's not the perfect solution because they're still strangers, but they're much more likely to relate to you and be welcoming and friendly. Remember, this is a once-in-a-lifetime trip, so know that you'll be back in comfort soon and in the mean time get back out there and experience!

That One Aha Moment Will Occur And Your Life Will Be Forever Changed: In the movies there is always one clear moment that convinces the main character to change and forever be a better person. In real life, the story line isn't quite that neat. You may not even notice how much you are changing or growing until you've come back home and started comparing the life you knew to the life when traveling. Don't get disappointed if you don't feel different after a certain amount of time on the road. There is no way these travels won't change your mindset in some way, just give it some time to work its magic in your brain.

If anybody else has any other tips or advice, I know there are lots of people out there who'd love the insight!

My Sister's Book Just Came Out And Already It's #1 on Amazon

2012-05-31T15:06:00.000+02:00

Just because I like you guys so much, I'm telling you to enter this contest to win a FREE wedding cake from your favorite bakery PLUS an autographed copy of my sister's new book! But hurry, the contest ends June 15, 2012.

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Can you believe how cool my family is? I told you about my (in)famous brother and sister-in-law in an old blog post and now my sister Rachel is a #1 on the Hot New Releases list on Amazon??? A-MAZ-ING! (Kinda makes me look like a slacker, huh?). No, but seriously, you're not going to believe how famous she is now.

And for her book launch last week, Barnes & Noble in New York City threw an event/party for her where she gave a speech and signed autographs!

Here's Rachel ever so casually autographing copies of her book. Because, you know, no big deal, people ask for her autograph all the time. Don't they ask for yours?? Actually, B&N was sold out of the book so a lot of her fans couldn't even get an autographed copy!!! Crazy?!

I know you think I'm biased and have to say that the book is awesome, but how can you not trust the endorsement of Jodie Sweetin (aka Stephanie Tanner) that this book is amazing? She said:

"Running of the Bride is a hilarious, laugh-out-loud peek into the mind of a crazed bride. If you've ever gotten married, wanted to get married, or maybe even NOT wanted to get married, you'll love this book. Rachel writes with such wit and humor, it's often like reading the mind of your best girlfriend. She may even be the missing member of the SATC clan! Truly a great read!"

Even the freakin' drummer from OK GO knows a good read when he sees one. He said:

"Running of the Bride is a fast read, full of funny (and often heart-warming) moments strung into a compelling narrative. A recommended read for those who are single, engaged, married, separated, divorced—basically, anyone living."

— Dan Konopka, drummer for OK Go

And Carley Rooney, the co-founder and editor-in-chief of the most popular bridal website in the world theknot.com, what did she say?

"We all know wedding planning rarely goes perfectly or smoothly and Rachel Eddey's hilarious account of her own nuptials includes quite a few mishaps (and page turners!). I couldn't put down this heartfelt story of learning how to have it all because, at the end of the wedding, we all need our happy ending and I couldn't wait to find out how Rachel got hers."

So I know by now you're wondering how in the heck to get your hands on this amazing book. Click on the images before for direct links to purchase and viel spass reading!

Budapest Through Pictures

2012-05-22T17:48:00.000+02:00

If you were wondering, Budapest is, in fact, AWESOME. But I figured, why bother just telling you about the trip when I could show you about the trip. Ok, fine, if you insist I'll add some captions along the way.

Random Hungarian Things I Found Super Hilarious: (but probably nobody else does)

I feel like Mark Zuckerberg & Bill Gates combined when I'm in Hungary -
the currency is so devalued that our tour bus tickets cost 10,000Ft!!
Which is only roughly $45 (CHF40), but it feels so cool when you're
throwing down thousands everywhere you go.

Please refrain from bringing your horse and buggy on the main freeway.
Not joking, this sign was actually posted at regular intervals.

That's a lamp post... WAY cooler and more efficient than having
one crappy single little bulb at the top and like 15 lamp posts all around.

Why yes, crazy lady, I would like to eat in your restaurant.

How awesome is it that their water drain cover look like a family crest?

The Food:

Because butter isn't unhealthy enough for the Hungarians, they use
deep fried pork lard spread instead. Mmmmmmmm. I'm pretty sure I felt my
arteries clogging just by looking at it.

And I quote: "That was maybe the best burger I've ever had in my life"
- Florian Christen, Americanophile

Obligatory Generic City Pictures:

(Sidenote: Why do we always feel the need to take the same pictures as professionals already have with their far superior cameras?? Obviously your postcard shot is going to be nicer than mine, let's save me the hassle and I'll frame some postcards).

Fun fact: Buda and Pest are on different sides of the river, only connected through bridges

Tell me this doesn't look like a helicopter-on-official-government-business shot?

Obligatory Beautiful Architecture Pictures:

I was quite creepy through the whole trip watching people through
their windows to get a glimpse of the "real lives" of Hungarians.

1900?? Please, only us Americans consider that historic.

Cool Artsy Architecture Pictures:

The Creepiest Place On Earth - The House of Terror Museum:

Murdered victims of the Nazi and Communist regimes

The victims' pictures alongside an old Russian tank

The files that were kept on everyone...

I took many more pictures of the place but it's really something you have to experience as opposed to seeing pictures, so I suggest you immediately book a ticket to Budapest now.

A Little Something To Cheer You Up After Those Depressing Pictures:

Zhitch + Me = Entrepreneur

2012-05-15T20:25:00.001+02:00

For the first time in my life, I'm a groupie. But don't get me wrong, I'm not swooning over some silly pop boy band. Nope, I started having a love affair with entrepreneurship. I've come to love watching the excitement and passion spew out of the elite few people who (gave the finger to big business and) started their own non-9 to 5 jobs. I imagined a bit about what it would be like to be one of them. And then last weekend, I finally worked up the courage to try out being an entrepreneur myself.

Obviously, only a wanna-be entrepreneur would PAY to spend 54 hours straight working on launching a new product, which is exactly what I and 40 other awesome people did at StartUp Weekend. For funsies, I quickly made up a business idea to pitch so I could have some practice and *shockingly* my idea was not selected as one of the top business ideas worth working on. Sidenote: It was definitely not shocking, seeing as how even I didn't think my own idea was great. I actually was crossing my fingers NOT to be picked because other people had pitched really amazing ideas that I wanted to work on waaaaaaaaay more. I didn't even vote for myself.

After the best ideas were selected by the judges, I got to select with which team/idea I wanted to work. Lots of cool and interesting ideas, but I was really happy to have picked the team I did because the idea was hilarious but also cool and the team was awesome (shout out to Beat for having the vision of this idea!). Plus, the idea solves a problem that EVERYBODY has. You, reading this right now: YOU HAVE THE PROBLEM THIS APP SOLVES. And now I get to work on giving everyone a solution. Um, how awesome is that?? I really love pretending to be an entrepreneur.

Anyway, so tell me you've never been in this scenario (BTW, scenario is based on the following assumptions: you're nice, you have friends, and you have a car or at some point have ridden in a car). So your friends are pretty awesome but they just kinda forget to offer you gas money, even though you drive them to the mall, to the restaurant, to work, and to that fun ski trip a few months ago. It's super awkward to tell your friends you want them to chip in for gas money, but at the same time you want them to chip in for gas money! Now how to broach the subject without sounding cheap (believe me, I'm Jewish, I have to be extra careful around cheap topics!).

Enter the Zhitch App - it solves that problem for you! It's got a cool game aspect so you can casually be like "oh, hey dude, I just got this new app because I want to earn points to get some free rewards. And, uh, BTW, it also happened to track the route we just drove and calculate your fair share of the gas money. Of course you don't have to pay, I mean I just wanted the reward points and ninja belts, but if you did want to pay, just click that button right there in the App and it will auto pay me directly exactly your share of the gas." Bam, done. Much easier, right? And it even works for things like sharing a taxi ride, so if you feel awkward starting the conversation in your car, just start using it in places where people pay their share anyway and all that awkwardness is POOF gone.

Or, better but much more unlikely scenario in making it easy to bring up the subject. For the very few of us who are REALLY nice, this is a good way for you to offer to pay your friends your portion of the gas money when they drive. Nothing like starting to use the App by being nice, then giving them tacit peer pressure to return the favor. This works especially well if you are driving them around more often anyway.

Shoot, I mean gas is not getting any cheaper during the summer months. No harm in giving the Zhitch app a shot, right?! The worst that happens is your friends never talk to you again, the best is you can actually afford your rent.

I'm (Basically) Ready To Be A Mommy

2012-05-08T20:21:00.005+02:00

Let's be honest, I say I'm basically ready to be a mom because I'm missing one important thing in that equation - my own kid. SPOILER ALERT: Suffice it to say, Florian and I quite enjoy our life of leisure and traveling and will keep it that way for a while longer. Besides, who wants to canoe in Norway or hike in Sweden or not drink wine in Paris or scuba in Thailand while pregnant?? Not me, and those are my planned trips over the next few months! I'm ready to be a babysitter mommy is maybe a more accurate description. But I really L-O-V-E other peoples' babies. They're so teeny and chubby and easy to dress up, and best of all I give them back when they start to cry! I need to give that kid back at night so I can sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep. I love sleep slightly more than I love other peoples' kids :)

But these last few months I've had a crash course in parenting since I've now got two new baby nieces, 2 new Zurich babies and about 99% of the other women I know are pregnant!! (Ok, obviously that is an exaggerated statistic but I swear it feels like that when I go to lunch and 4 of 6 girls are pregnant!). I can now do the following things with a baby: change its diapers, burp, bathe, shush, rock, swaddle and feed it, tolerate high-pitched crying, and know when it is crying "just because", amongst other skills. I also coo and tell them how cute they are and tell them how much I love them and then I speak a little German to ensure they are bi-lingual.

But today is a special day because it's my niece Lily's 1-month birthday (BTW, is that a thing? A 1-month birthday?? I think it's like when I was a teenager and celebrated my six-month anniversary with a boyfriend). To celebrate this momentous occasion, I decided to share these amazing pictures of her adorableness that will absolutely make you smile. Sidenote: my other sister Rachel says Lily looks like me. What do you think? Perhaps a maternity test is in order???

I Love, Love, Love, Love, LOVE Spring!!

2012-05-03T15:11:00.003+02:00

The pictures say it all (hence why I'm not even going to bother trying to write a post worthy of accompanying their beauty). I was simply walking around the block with Bella and using my normal old point-and-shoot camera to capture these. Did I mention that I love spring, love bright colors, and love pretty flowers.

Switzerland = Amazeballs!!

I thought since I was sharing photographs I might as well alternate them between left and right to be all artsy pretend I am very creative.

Reasons You Don't Take a German Proficiency Exam When You Haven't Spoken The Language in Over 2 Months

2012-04-30T13:13:00.003+02:00

Ok, you know how when you have to do something really hard and it seems like sucha good idea to say you're going to do it later, because then you don't have to worry about it until later? That's how I felt when, in January, I said I should take my Goethe Deutsch Zertifikat B1 German Proficiency exam in April. Because April is later. And, of course, with all the time between January and April, I was definitely going to study a lot and practice with my Rosetta Stone and I was definitely going to become completely fluent in those few months.

Except that, in reality, I was in America for the 2 and a half months immediately preceding the test and I definitely was not motivated to speak German when everyone spoke such beautiful native English. I mean, I did pull out my Rosetta Stone once. Sidenote: Actually, really funny, my dad knocked on my door and then busted in to see if I was ok. Turns out, I really do sound like I'm mad/yelling when I speak in German!

So to help all of you test takers in the future, here are the important lessons I've learned about reasons you do not take a language proficiency exam after not studying or speaking the language for 1/3 of the time you spent learning it:

You will forget how to say simple things like "pants" or "My name is Lisa."

You have to be careful - the testmakers try to set boredom traps! My reading comprehension essay was about the "real" inventor of the telephone, Philip Reis. Let me tell you, if the subject is boring in English, it's double-to-triple as boring in German. They're trying to bore you to sleep so you fail the exam!!!! Smile to yourself, take a deep breath, pretend you really care about if Philip Reis' children knew a lot about his inventions, and then focus on the snack break that's coming next.

Who wouldn't be interested in this man??

You will make a bad joke during the speaking portion of your exam. Something like "hey, maybe we should just do this whole thing in English and save ourselves all the struggle of speaking in German." While the exam proctors slightly smiled at my joke, I think humor is usually lost on the Germans. I wonder if they deducted points before we even started?

You will tell everyone you're studying for the exam to motivate you to actually study for the exam, but that's all the more people you'll have to tell if/when you fail it. Maybe there should be a rule with tests like there is with pregnancy. Don't tell anyone until 3 months after you've taken the exam??

When in doubt, plan a vacation and bake a cake. I decided to make up a couple of situations like planning a vacation and baking a cake in my mind, and then studied entire conversations about these topics. That way, if the speaking portion asked me to get a present for my German teacher, BAM I'm baking her a cake. Or if it asks what to do with friends this weekend, BAM I'm taking a vacation. Even if that didn't help much with the exam, I did find a new recipe for delicious chocolate cake and I have a sudden interest in visiting Berlin some weekend soon.

My real advice for passing the exam is to actually know how to read, write, and speak the language for which you're taking the exam. Preparation is all that's really needed... hence why you should not take a proficiency exam the week you come back from your native country.

UPDATE: I got the news... I passed the exam!!!!!!!! And not only did I pass, but I got a "Gut" grade, which is the second highest category you can get (let's call it a "B" for simplification).

The Three Best Things About Being Home

2012-04-24T07:31:00.001+02:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've been lazy and have a lot of posts to catch up on to fill you in on my life and whatnot, but I just just had to take a quick moment to share my excitement about being back home in Switz after being in America for over 2 months!!

Best Thing #3: Beautiful flowers in my house (and all outside in nature). Spring is here!! My mother-in-law left me some amazing springtime beauties in the house, plus get this: there's an adorable little flower field near my house where I can go cut down my own. Fresh flowers, freshly picked every week and I just drop a couple of bucks in the donation collection box?? Yes, please!!

Best Thing #2: I have my own car!!! While I was away, my awesomely wonderful husband bought me what is quite possibly the cutest car that exists in the world. Initially I named her Black Beauty II (in honor of Black Beauty I, my Jetta in San Diego). However, once I laid eyes on my new baby, I knew there was only one name worthy enough for her magnificence. Meet Fabia. You know, the girl version of Fabio.

Well, really I had to change the name anyway because my mom told me Black Beauty is a drug street name and she "didn't like it". So, welcome to the family Fabia!

Best Thing #1: My baby Bella. This was the longest I've ever been away from my doggie and it was terrible! The last time I left her alone for a significant period of time she didn't talk to me for a week. She wouldn't even let me pet her for more than 30 seconds (I mean, she's a dog, she can't turn down a petting, but she wanted it to be clear she was still mad after she got some. Sounds like some of your ex-boyfriends?). But this time she was immediately loving... or at least in her way of loving, which means she allowed me to pet her.

Bella and I have an open relationship so I'm allowed to cheat on her and pet other dogs, which I did repeatedly throughout my two months in America.

How Many Places Do I Have To Be Published Before I Can Claim To Be A Writer?

2012-04-04T04:42:00.000+02:00

So... I think I accidentally became a writer. I don't know exactly how it happened. Boredom? Experimentation? Florian was sick of hearing me ramble out loud? I started with my blog just to keep friends and family updated on my new crazy life in Switz and all of a sudden I'm writing serious stuff for The Jerusalem Post? How'd that happen?!? Obv I have a variety of things I write about, partially because I likely have adult ADHD and partially because I'm exploring the age-old question "what do I want to do with the rest of my life." In case you haven't noticed by my weirdly diverse blog entries, some days I think I'm going to save the world and some days all I can think about is what a disaster I am in the kitchen. And some days I don't get off the couch for 14 hours (only when I'm catching up on 4 seasons of Mad Men!).

Anyway, since I accidentally started writing, I've dabbled in writing for different audiences to see what it was like to "be a real writer."

International Writing: People always ask what's different about Switzerland and America. I could talk for hours and hours and hours about it (and you can be sure future blogs will continue to make fun of the ridiculous ways I figure these differences out), but one of the biggest I felt when I moved was that if you're different from the Swiss, they don't exactly... like it (I'm being polite here, please use your imagination to read between the lines). My guest blog post was featured here for The Jerusalem Post about how Jews do and don't fit into Swiss culture, but honestly it's about any different culture fitting in, in Switz (ie, Muslims receive the same unwelcome feeling the Jews do. Hey, I guess I finally found the cause to unite Jews + Muslims!).

Local Zurich Writing: My interview with an awesome chef in Zurich was posted here on My Girlfriend Guide, a local online mag in Zurich. I had eaten at this amazing restaurant for my birthday dinner and immediately thought that other people needed to know about the place. I mean, it was and still remains the best meal I've had in Switzerland! So, I asked the waiter if I could please speak with the chef (which caused some confusion because "chef" in German means "boss" and they sent out the owner. Oops!). Oh well, I told the owner that I wanted to do the interview and it was really just that easy to get a Michelin-star-rated chef to tell me all of his cooking secrets. And since I'm nice, I'm sharing them all with you in that article.

A Super-Secret New Adventure: Ok, I'll admit it just to you guys and it will be our little secret. I feel a bit like an egomaniac when I constantly just write about myself all the time so I was trying to think up something else to write about that could be a little bit more... important to the world. I had an idea that nobody else is doing and I started writing some sample material, so stay tuned and maybe, just maybe, I'll be telling you all about my super-secret-awesome-for-the-world website very soon!

You be the judge, do I get to start printing business cards with the title Author on them?? Or should I stick to my day job as housewife extraordinaire...

Two Klutzes In The Kitchen for a Cooking Marathon

2012-03-28T05:03:00.001+02:00

You guys already know that I'm pretty much an idiot when it comes to any kind of cooking, but this weekend's cooking extravaganza was klutz x2 when my sister Elana and I tried to cook mass quantities together. The thing is, we had to cook a TON of meals to freeze before little baby Lily enters the world because once baby comes home from the hospital, new mommies don't have time to cook. I couldn't let my sister starve or, maybe worse, eat gross Chinese and Mexican takeout!

On Friday I was so gung ho about the idea of this fun girls cooking weekend and we started menu planning and everything sounded delicious (I mean, we agreed to have chocolate chip pancakes for dinner on Saturday - yummy!). Then reality set in around hour two of being at grocery stores (yep, stores plural, since we had to go to several different ones to get our ingredients) that this was going to be a LOT of work. We tried to look on the bright side... Elana would have lots of good food to eat, plus how can you not have a good time when you find a potato that looks exactly like a duck?

So Saturday began the actual cooking and let me tell you, I never wanted to chop another vegetable in my life! My arm was actually sore... granted, I have basically no upper body strength so it doesn't take much to tire my little muscles out but still. In total over the weekend we spent approx. 14 hours slaving to make food, food, and more FOOD.

List of foods made (and, since I'm nice, I hyperlinked a couple with the recipes so you can make them, too):

Chicken Honey Nut Stir Fry - my personal new fave!
Baked chicken fingers (We made our own amazing recipe - instead of using egg to make the bread crumbs stick, use mustard)
Vegetable Lasagna
Vegetable Ziti
Tom Ka Gai Thai soup
Sweet Potato Fries
Fluffy pancakes (aka dinner break)
Potato Frittata
Salmon Cakes
Sweet and Sour Chicken
Turkey Meatballs
Condiments: Mayo, Pesto

Tom Ka Gai Soup

Salmon Cakes

List of Things We Dropped in the Process:

3 plates: I claimed I was just trying to practice my juggling skills
An egg: It rolled to its death from the counter to the floor
A tub of Coriander: It was a huge tub. Possibly considered a vat.
Flour: Allllll over myself and the floor (see picture below)

List of Things Learned:

Never volunteer to cook again
How to zest a lemon peel

Mozel Tov Bitches (A Surprise To Remember)

2012-03-21T02:38:00.000+01:00

The Jewish version of a "Congratulations" sign...

When your 8 and 1/2-months-pregnant sister asks you to come over to clean her kitchen, what other answer can you give but a begrudging (oops, I mean enthusiastic!) "fine"? After all, I did promise my services as a rentable housewife to all my friends and family in NY. But I have a secret to tell all men: real life is not like the movies and women don't look pretty when they're getting ready to clean. What do you think I'm going to shower before scrubbing a kitchen? Or put on makeup? Or wear even semi-decent clothes? Nope! Maybe June Cleaver did, but not this modern housewife. A dirty fleece and dirty jeans were totally the way to go.

So imagine when I walked in the door at my sister's house and, SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like 40 of my closest friends and family gathered to have a surprise Bridal Shower/Housewife Party for me. Hold on, take a break here and watch the video because I had NOT A FREAKIN' CLUE this party was going to happen and my face is hilarious that I'm so shocked.

The greatest part about the surprise is, I was really surprised. I don't mean surprised like, I know it's my birthday and someone threw a party for my birthday so I'm only a little bit surprised. No, I thought all of this wedding hullabaloo was over and it never crossed my mind that we'd be having a surprise party. Therefore, I wasn't suspicious in the least, I certainly wasn't snooping for clues and I definitely wasn't just knowing a party was going to happen but not knowing the date. Nope, I had NO idea. BTW, good job to everyone for keeping the secret, I'm impressed nobody spilled!

Actually, I need to revise my statement from above. The greatest part about the surprise was being surrounded by amazing friends and family. I can't tell you enough how much it meant to me that I have so many caring and wonderful people in my life. Get this: I even had a friend fly all the way out from San Diego just for the weekend to come and be at my party! How did I get so lucky?!

Jeremy visited all the way from San Diego!

You have to know, moving abroad is not easy when you leave great friends and family behind. Sometimes, at my worst moments, I get this slightly-paranoid feeling like everyone has slowly forgotten about me (you know, out of sight, out of mind). But this party helped me to realize that no matter how far I move, true friends and family will always be a part of my life. That can be really comforting when I'm having my little lonely moments abroad, so thank you to everyone who is so wonderful and doesn't forget I exist!!

Is It Overkill To Say I Was There When History Was Made?

2012-03-10T15:18:00.021+01:00

I know it's going to sound like I'm lying, but earlier this week I saw speaking in person President Obama, US Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, Israeli President Shimon Peres, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, Senate Republican Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi, and some others! Why are all these super important people in one place, talking to me (yeah ok, me and 13,000 other people, but don't get bogged down in the details)? Easy. They were all there to discuss politics with American pro-Israel supporters at an AIPAC Policy Conference. The big topic was a nuclear Iran and how to deal, and there were some historic speeches and debates taking place right before my eyes. I try to avoid politics on my blog so I'll let you come to your own conclusions about the Iran sitch, but FYI your conclusion should be that if Iran has nukes the whole world is screwed.

How I imagine the POTUS would react if we met

Full disclosure here, I'm proudly pro-Israel, but maybe not for the reasons that you think. The reason most people think I'm pro-Israel --> Because I'm Jewish. The reason I'm actually pro-Israel --> Because Israel puts great emphasis on the same ideals and values on which America was founded, and I profoundly believe in a democracy that encourages hard work and innovation to succeed despite difficulties. I mean, I'm also a very proud supporter of America. Oh, and because I'm Jewish.

I think Israel and America advance the world with their entrepreneurship. I can give a million examples, though the one I prefer to use is not exactly a sexy topic of discussion... but Israelis performed a virtual miracle in turning their desert land into a fertile agricultural land! They did it by figuring out some secrets about water (won't bore you with the details but there are plenty of places on the web to read up about it), which is a scarce resource and surely will become a problem in the future that Israel has solved for the world. Thanks in advance for helping us avert a worldwide water shortage crisis! And it's not an accident that Warren Buffet invested 4 billion dollars (yeah, as in, $4,000,000,000) to purchase part of an Israeli company. I can't recommend enough the book Start-Up Nation about how and why Israelis are so innovative (yep, still have a lot of free reading time as a housewife!).

So... I also got a guy arrested (I think that was a first for me!) There were some protesters who sneaked into the conference and cut off a speech by screaming down the aisle and holding up a big banner that was anti-war in Iran. The Secret Service ran over and immediately arrested her, but failed to notice there was a guy photographing her who was also a protester. I leaned over, called Secret Service over, pointed out the photographer and said "he was with that girl, you should arrest him, too." And so they did. Man, do I feel powerful!

Oh, and no big deal, but I also lobbied Congress (to urge them to support the full Foreign Aid bill in FY2013). Yep, I walked into a Congressman's office, sat right down next to him and told him how I thought he should vote... and he had to at least pretend to listen and be interested!

My Dog Is Cute, Dammit!

2012-02-28T18:31:00.000+01:00

I think it's obvious and a little bit redundant to say that my dog is adorably amazingly cute. Everybody who knows Bella overlooks the largeness of her head, the old-man wrinkles on her face, the slobber drooling out of her mouth, and the farts that come ripping out of her body and sees the sweet and good-natured beauty that she really is.

For the non-believers of her cuteness, please see Exhibits A, B, and C below.

Exhibit A - Forlorn

Exhibit B - Happy!

Exhibit C - Politely awaiting your command

And yet, for reasons unbeknownst to me, my hubby Florian LOVES to take the ugliest possible pictures of this innocent little babykins. I'm here in New York with my family, dying inside because I'm so far away from her for such a long time (oh, and uh, yeah, I miss Florian a lot too, of course!). But then these are the pictures of her that he sends to me!!! I present to you Exhibits D, E, F, and G, the worst pictures of Bella ever known to man.

Exhibit D - The slutty dog

Exhibit E - The Freddy Kruger face

Exhibit F - The ancient Chinese man face

Exhibit G - The half-paralyzed face

Our poor little baby would have to go to years of therapy to work on her self esteem issues if she knew I was releasing these photos in public!! But I know you all are on my side and totally agree that my dog is cute, dammit! You won't judge her based on the last set of pictures, will you??

Who Thought It Was a Good Idea To Live With My Parents For 2 Months?

2012-02-15T17:00:00.002+01:00

I know that you guys know how excited I am to go home and see the babies! (Yep, plural. Did you forget my sister Elana is due in April?? If you did, you should re-read this blog post to see an adorable pregnant pic of her). I am also super excited that I get to see the whole family, spend time with friends, and, perhaps most importantly, speak the native language effortlessly (a rare treat these days...). And that`s the good part about going home.

The bad part is... well, I`m basically going to be a teenager again. Though I`m actually an adult (a cougar nonetheless!), my parents have sorta forgotten that important fact. They still set a curfew for me and won`t let me stay out late. And I can`t drink alcohol. And I have to ask to borrow the car. And I have to do cleaning chores around the house. And my friends have to call my parents house to reach me (how totally weird is that in the age of cell phones?!? "Oh, hi Mr. Epstein, is Lisa home?". Right? So weird!).

Don't be fooled by how cute and innocent they look...

So, I figure I have to stay busy while I have no car, no alcohol, I have to be home at 10pm on Saturdays. I saw this great Facebook post from a friend Kim (who, coincidentally, moved from San Diego to Paris and so is still a neighbor) and decided to copy her idea. Here it is, folks, the one moment where my narcisstic blog isn`t about me!!

I will make something handmade for the first five people who comment on this post. You can make a request for what you want, but I can`t guarantee I`ll actually make it :) And, duh, please be sure to leave some contact info if I don`t already have it.

I'm An Aunt!! Meet The Beautiful Sofia Elena

2012-02-12T22:21:00.002+01:00

You're obviously here to see the pictures, so I'll start with an adorable one.

World, meet the amazing and fantastic Sofia Elena! She's the new daughter of my best friend Kelly, which is SUPER weird for me to type because I've known Kelly since we were practically babies. A little background on that: Kelly moved into my neighborhood in the 2nd grade and she became friends with my best friend at the time, Heather. My scheming little 6-year-old mind thought I should be friends with Kelly, too, so she wouldn't be able to steal my friend. Kelly and I have been besties ever since! :)

Little Sofia came with 2 big surprises. 1) We didn't know she was a girl! Kelly and Tony wanted to save it for a surprise, and she was pretty sure she was having a boy, so what a surprise it was! 2) She did NOT want to stay in her mommy's belly... she came out an entire month too early!! Sofia, you're a day old and already rearranging my life! I had booked my ticket back to NY to be there for her birth... you know, in MARCH when she was due! Now I had to change my ticket and I'm flying out in 3 days to see her. Oh, and, you know, the rest of my family and friends. Let's be honest, it's all about the baby. I'm sooooooooooooooo excited.

Mommy and Baby

I'm so tiny I don't even fit into my tiny baby clothes!

Can I get more adorable than this?!

Huge congratulations to Mommy Kelly and Daddy Tony on such an amazing little babykins.

Really? I Like Snowshoeing?

2012-01-31T16:45:00.003+01:00

Admittedly, I was a skeptic when friends invited us on a trip to Wengen (in the Swiss Alps) for the weekend to go snowshoeing. Ha, snowshoeing... lame-o!!!!!! I mean, I just never got the appeal of a) making walking hard and b) strapping tennis rackets to my feet (actually, I never got the appeal on winter sports in general... yay, let's all bundle up uncomfortably to go stand outside in subfreezing weather?!). But I am up for some new adventures now that I'm settled into everyday life here and thought what the hell.

Not that I admit this often, but I was wrong. Really wrong. Snowshoeing was awesome! So much so that I have officially declared it as my new winter sport, meaning that I intend to go at least twice a winter! I basically got to moonwalk out into these pristine and beautiful parts of nature. It literally feels like your center of gravity is lifted slightly and you can float a bit in the world.

Beautiful winter wonderland

This was the panoramic view of where we walked. So, so, so beautiful and spectacular

Visibility was so bad it felt like we were walking off
the face of the Earth!

Bella auditioning for the role of Old Man Winter

Next up we're planning on going for a romantic torch-lit snowshoeing walk to a hidden fondue restaurant in the Alps in two weeks. Romantic + dorky = the best Valentine's Day gift ever!! :)

Top 5 Things I've Already Done in 2012 To Change The World...

2012-01-22T08:28:00.002+01:00

Ghandi was a pretty smart guy, so definitely worth quoting him: "You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

Remember how in my new year's goals & resolutions post I said I want to make the world a better place? (If not, you can re-read the blog here and pretend like you read it the first time around). So, world, here I am, being the change! I made up a simple litmus test for myself: Is there something more, or something less, that I could be doing/using? See below for examples.

Please don't think I've cured cancer or anything because these are super easy changes I should have made a long time ago. Since I'm sharing them with you now, if you make some changes with me, then my resolution is really going well and I can rename this post Top 6 Things I've Already Done in 2012 To Change The World!

The Top 5 Super Easy Changes Lisa's Made

Can I Use Less: Reusable Produce Bags. Sure, reusable shopping bags recently became all the rage, but their dorky younger brother the reusable produce bag was completely left behind in the fad and that's just not right. I don't know about you, but I buy like 5 different kinds of produce every time I go to the grocery store and don't even fill up the bags 1/3 full. Two apples need a bag when I go shopping. People, I'm not a freakin juggler. It's really not expensive at ALL - think like CHF/$15. So now we've made the switch to reusable produce bags and I think I'm saving at least 100 plastic bags a year from the garbage. Sweet!
Can I Use Less: Unplug electronics. I love coffee in the mornings (L-O-V-E, like, I would marry coffee if it were legal). But why, oh why, does my coffee machine stay plugged in all day, every day? And my toaster? And my computer? And my electric toothbrush? Even when a person's not using an item, if you keep it plugged in, it's using energy. I just tell myself Unplug the thing, its not that much effort, you lazy bum! For some reason calling myself a lazy bum really works. Anyway, this saves money, saves energy, and saves the environment. Winning!
Can I Do More: Register to vote. Quit being so judgmental, yes, I was already sorta registered. But I was registered in California and now my permanent American address is in New York and with all the stuff in the move I forgot to register in NY as an abroad citizen. Not only did I register Republican so I could vote in the primary but I plan to vote for... Stephen Colbert as my Presidential candidate (kidding! but isn't he HILARIOUS?? If you haven't seen his fake commercials from his SuperPAC, check them here. You'll die. In a good way.).
Can I Use More: Compost. Yes, I know it's not super sexy to think about keeping your old, rotting food around the house and then setting it outside for bugs to enjoy and decomposition to occur. And yet... it's actually not that bad and it's much easier to compost than you think (there are a ton of websites out there with some great tips, I just Googled it). And don't be jealous but here in my apartment complex we have a compost collection bin - so all I have to do is walk downstairs to properly compost so it's beyond easy for me.

Can I Use More: Use all my ingredients. I started making my own almond milk (since it's CHF/$6 for a tiny little carton to buy it!) but after I got the milk out of the almonds I had no use for the "pulp" of them. Enter recipes for almond biscuits, almond butter, and almond over greek yogurt snacks. In other words, I didn't just throw away the leftover pulp once I got the almond milk I wanted, I actually used all of the parts. Hey, more delicious food is always a good thing in my book.

Like I said, these weren't earth-shattering changes, but at the same time if everyone did little things like this, we'd be HUGELY better off. Ok, now I'm off to the lab to cure cancer.

Would You Be Embarrassed If You Won The Lottery?

2012-01-15T18:20:00.017+01:00

You just won the lottery! Really take in the moment. Imagine the lottery ticket in your hand. YOUR lottery ticket. WON. A few million. You have enough money so that you'd never have to work again if you didn't want to -- but not too much where you'll take your private jet to your private yacht. What would your dream life be like then?? What would you do??? Would you travel the world? Spend more time with loved ones? Play golf? Or learn to play guitar? Eat the best foods? If you're still reading this and haven't stopped to think about what you'd do, you A) obviously don't follow directions well, B) should probably see your doctor about getting ADHD medicine, and C) should think about it. I'll wait.

.... waiting....

Ok, so now you have your dream life in mind because you don't have to worry about earning money. Were you embarrassed? Did you feel ashamed by how you would spend your time when money isn't an object? Good, because neither do I! And when I say I don't have a job and I'm "just" a housewife, I'm not embarrassed, either! Being fortunate enough to have a significant other who can provide for you is like winning the lottery... you magically have the opportunity to live the life you always dreamed of instead of the life you have to.

So then you can understand my confusion when I hear my expat friends tell story after story of their friends and family members who try to make them feel guilty for not finding a "real" job. Admit it now, did your fantasy involve you keeping your 9-5 (or more realistically, 8-6) job? I'm going to guess at least 98% of us quit the daily job grind in our fantasies. Why? Because when given the opportunity to pursue what you love, a desk job is not what we want out of life. I spend my time on things that are important to me instead of office politics, Lean Cuisine lunches, and waking up at the crack of dawn to sit in a little cubicle all day. I think the big misconception (and the reason for all the disapproving looks) about being a housewife is that people think we lead mindless, idle lives. Do I just sit around the house all day lazily? Does my mental activity consist of sorting the socks? And whoa whoa whoa, I don't even have kids to watch?!

News Flash: I can't speak for every other expat wife but I'm not lazy and I'm not wasting my Master's Degree (nor, apparently, am I wasting my Bachelor's in Philosophy, either!). In my case, I stay busy learning German, doing freelance writing, launching my sister's novel, and volunteering to do work for non-profits. I just also have time to clean the house, cook for my husband, take tennis lessons, lunch with the ladies, walk the dog, and host dinner parties. I actually have balance - enough to keep me mentally stimulated but not too much so I'd be mentally overloaded and taking anti-anxiety pills. So for those who have watched one too many episodes of Desperate Housewives, please be open minded in understanding that we aren't wasting our lives, we're brave enough to be loving our lives.

And remember, you admitted earlier you'd probably do the same.