The Real Love Doctor on Relationships, Love and Life 101

Love Doctor advice - going through a break up

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 21:47:00 +0900

Love Doctor advice - going through a break up

One of the most gut wrenching situations a guy can find himself in is breaking up with a woman. Behind finding one, it's one of the tougher experiences you'll go through.

The reasons a guy might want to break up are plenty. There might be no connection, no attraction, or she's just grown irritating to him.

Whatever the reason, the fact remains that you're not happy with the person you are seeing, and you want to END IT.

You MUST break up verbally. It's best to break up in person, but in some cases that's just not possible, such as in long distance relationships. If you can't break up in person, then you must do it over the phone. NEVER break up in writing, such as via text message, e-mail,
Facebook comment, post-it note, etc. Voicemail breakups, while verbal, are also unacceptable. Not only is it cowardly, but you know it's over before they do, and that's just not fair. The breakup needs to be a conversation, not a message.

Don't lie. You may think saying things like "I still want to be friends," "I'll always love you," "I still care about you," etc. will make the person feel better, but they'll only make things worse in the long run if they're not true. Only say what you feel, not what you think they want to hear. Also, don't give the person false reasons for breaking up. They might find out that those reasons weren't true, and the fact that you lied would only make things worse for both of you. Never use overused lines like "it's not you, it's me," because even if it's true, it's too cliché.

Breaking up is not the time to bring up every little thing they did wrong. Even if their little annoying habits are what contributed to you wanting to break things off, the person will probably feel bad enough without the criticisms. If those things had really bothered you, you should have told them earlier.

The old saying goes - breaking up is hard to do. And boy, they weren't kidding. It's always hard to tell someone you don't care for them the same way they do for you. But it's always best to do it in a way that causes the least amount of pain possible.

The first thing to remember is that the sooner you do this, the better. If you know early on you don't want to go deeper into a relationship, cut things off quickly instead of leading the girl on. This will make the separation easier.

Sometimes, you may be tempted to keep the girl around until something better comes along. But don't do this. Prolonging something you know isn't going to work out won't do either of you any good.

I'd avoid going to the route of completely cutting her off. Avoiding her or ignoring her is one of the worst things you can do. It will lead to questions, and eventually resentment on her part. Think about that, would you like it done to yourself?

It's always best to end things amicably. In the future, you might want to come back to her at some point, either romantically, or if you need help with something. Even if you don't, it's still a good idea.

You never want to burn a bridge and give up your ability to influence a woman by having a bad break up, or dumping her in the wrong way. When you do break the news, try and do it gently.

Make sure you're there in person. If that's too hard for you, at least talk to her on the phone. Don't leave a message or text her your decision. Have the courtesy to tell her in person.

When you break the news, let her know that it has been hard for you to come to this decision, because she is a great girl. But for whatever reason, you don't feel the chemistry you need to be in a relationship with her.

Let her know you still value her and want to be her friend (even if you don't), and then ask her what she thinks.

Usually, she will want to know why it is you don't feel that special chemistry you need to be in a relationship. When she asks this, let her know this just wasn't the right time for you, and that you don't really know what you're looking for.

Being vague will help spare the girl's feelings.

The strongest move you can make is to actually apologize to her for not feeling the chemistry. Tell her you are sorry for that, and wish that things were different in this situation. It will take away the sting of rejection by empowering her somewhat.

Be direct and clear that you want to be on good terms with her, no matter what. Inquire what it would take to still be friends. If you allow her to dictate the terms, she'll tell you how to proceed.

Love Doctor advice - going through a break up

Links for Further interest:
Pregnancy and you

Teens problems on Love and relationships - solved by the Love Doctor

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 22:10:00 +0900

Hello dear readers of the Love Doctor Blog.

Today we are going to answer a letter from a confused 15 year old girl. She emailed me last month about her problem with her boyfriend. The letter is below. Enjoy and happy reading.

Hey love doctor. I'm Aura, im 15 and people may say that I'm to0 young to be in love but in my heart i know that i love my boyfriend with all my might. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1 year and 1 months and some days. I love him, but sometimes all we do is argue and argue. He doubts me at times, and he is also real jealous. I dont know why we argue so much. I wish that i had a solution to this problem.

I don't want to loose him and when we argue all hell goes loose. Um.. me and him have ben through ALOT, there's no explanation to what we have gone through. I've always been there for him and he has always been there for me. OUr live's are rough. My parents love him and his parents love us being together. When people see us they stare and say that we will be together an eternity, and teachers love watching us be together. They know that we keep each other happy at time's and if we don't then its not right. If i'm not with him for a day or if i dont see him it makes me down and sad. I've been going through alot of emotional break downs, and i know that they are not healthy.

Sometimes i give up on Chris(my boyfriend). We have plans on wanting to be together and when we get out of college be together and live a long life together. But waitt... thats not it. Sometimes things can go like peaches and cream and then like a dog and a cat. I broke up with him today and told him that i was tired of his shit.

But i broke down crying because i need him we share out thoughts, spirits, emotions, and most of all love and heart together. He called me and asked me if i was still his wife that he loved me and that he dosen't want to loose me, and that if i can give him more chances. I know that this sounds ridiculous but... he treats awfully bad sometimes like he will get jealous and scream and tell me that im a liar, and im not.

Ive never cheatd on him or nothing, and i know that he hasnt cheated on me either. I just want this arguing to stop, i love him and my heart wont take it anymore if we continue to argue ove r non important reasons. I hope that you can help me doc. I love him, and i need him as much as he needs me. hopefully things will turn out good and fall in the right foot steps, dont get me wrong, im wrong at times also and i knowt that. well please help!! thanxxx.

Aura.

Hi Aura!

The key to any good relationship is compromise. Arguments cannot be avoided in relationships.

Don't let those arguments get the better of you. You've been with each other for so long and both your families love seeing you together, you have to make it work if you really love each other. There is a way to make him feel more secure with himself so he won't accuse you of anything anymore, but that is, if only you're up to it. You can have him check your phone and your other online accounts so he can be sure that you aren't cheating and you're not fooling around behind his back. Once he sees that there really isn't anything to worry about he'd think twice before accusing you again.

When you argue, don't raise your voice at him as this would only provoke him (and you as well) to continue on arguing and it would never stop. Instead, talk to him calmly and keep repeating that you love him (without raising you voice) Tell him lovingly how much you love him and how much you don't want to argue as it would hurt the two of you. It may seem hard and you have to have a lot of patience but in dealing with overly jealous boyfriends you must learn how to be be calm. Remind yourself and him also about how much the two of you love each other. When he starts getting jealous and starts screaming at you again, just stay quiet, wait for him to finish whatever it is that he's saying and tell him, calmly and with as much sweetness that you love him. If he calls you a liar after that, remind him of the things that you have been through.

The important part is about being calm and not raising your voice. Let him say what he wants to say and show him that you're not going to argue with him. Boys get irrationally jealous of the people you're close with most of the time especially if you're very pretty so it can't really be avoided. Hopefully if you show him and become more transparent to him, he'll see that there really isn't anything to worry about. Sometimes all these boys need is the reassurance that you love them and that there's no one else in the world for you. I hope this helps.

Links for Further interest:
Weird News Daily

Can a Man and a Woman stay friends?

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Mon, 1 Dec 2008 12:01:00 +0900

Can a Man and a Woman stay friends?

This is a compilation of reactions from my blog post a long time ago where a lot of debate goes on weather a man or a woman can just be in a stage they called “just friends”, will there be sexual attractions going on or will the platonic friendship with the opposite sex stick to just being friendship. Read more about my reader’s reaction through my email.

This is from a single girl around mid teens.

I think we can be. As a matter of fact, I find it's so much easier to talk to guys (I'm a girl) than girls. Maybe it's because I'm finally exiting the awkward teenage stage (I'm 18), or maybe it's my interests/hobbies. I don't know. Even if there is that attraction, if you both decide not to go there, then sharing secrets and taking long drives just build up that friendship. By the way, the points that the Rabbi gives only apply to married people. What about us singletons??

Another reaction came from a single woman who has a guy best friend.

My best friend is a guy. He is married and I am not, but we have been friends since we went to college. It has always been platonic. I am even friends with his wife now. Even though we live several hours apart, we make an effort to see each other as often as possible and we still talk on the phone at least once every two weeks or so. I decided a long time ago that if I dated a guy that had a problem with this friendship, then it would be the boyfriend that would go, not the guy friend. While I would not share things with my friend that I would not share to a future spouse, sometimes it is nice to get that male perspective on a problem.

Based on my experiences, there is no problem with a guy and a girl being nothing more than friends.

The last testimonial comes from someone who doesn’t agree on the issue.
No matter how much people will deny and claim that it's "just friendship," a man and a woman just cannot be friends. There will always be some type of sexual thoughts underlying the friendship. I know that nowadays it's common for friends to engage in sexual activities without actually dating. In that case, then yeah, I guess men and women can be "just friends" if that's what you consider friendship. But if we're talking about a normal friendship as would occur between the same sex-- then no.

Before I got married, I wouldn't waste my time with "friends" I had no intention of banging. My husband was the same way. Now that we're married, to avoid problems we just don't have any friends. We're happy this way because we are each other's best friend.

So there you have it, 3 different reactions from 3 different people. I guess we will never conclude if men and women can just stay friends.

Links for Further interest:
Weird News Daily

Real Love - How to date When You still Live With Your Parents

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Thu, 4 Sep 2008 20:56:00 +0900

Real Love - How to date When You still Live With Your Parents

Are you an adult who's living with Mom and Dad again? That doesn't mean you can't have a social life. Here are the rules to this new game.

Faced with rising rents, school loans to pay off and a tight job market, more and more adults are moving back home with their parents—about 18 million between the ages of 18 and 34, according to the US Census Bureau. While living rent-free has its advantages, navigating the dating scene can certainly get tricky when your folks are in the room next to yours. Cuddling on the couch with a new girlfriend or boyfriend? Awkward at best. And is sex even a possibility with the 'rents around? We asked four live-at-home daters to reveal their biggest hassles when it comes to living at home, then we got Andra Medea, author of Conflict Unraveled: Fixing Problems at Work and in Families, and Susan Newman, social psychologist and author of Nobody's Baby Now: Reinventing Your Adult Relationship With Your Mother and Father, to step in with some solutions.

"My Mom Won't Let My Boyfriend Sleep Over!"
Name: Whitney

Age: 24
Years at home: 4

Hardest part? "My boyfriend is free to come and go—as long as he doesn't spend the night," Whitney says. "My mom was good about compromising in the beginning; she said he could stay over as long as he stayed in my brother's old room. But of course, we would sneak into each other's room—and playing musical beds at 5 A.M. is not the best thing. Now she won't let him stay over at all, so I always have to go to his place. Sometimes I'd really just like to have him stay here with me, but my mom refuses to see that I'm a grown woman who should be allowed to have guests over."

What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened? "I hate coming home very late (or rather, very early) after spending the night at my boyfriend's. My mom is up at the crack of dawn, so it's a little awkward when I come home at 6 A.M. and she's like, 'When I saw you last night, you were here.' If she'd just let him stay over, this wouldn't happen."

The solution: Whitney needs to level with her mother, our experts say. "Look, her mom is well aware that she's sneaking around-and that's got to feel rather teenage," Medea says. "It's not sophisticated to be running down the hall at five in the morning. It's one thing at 16 to believe you're fooling your folks, but at 24, she should know better!" Her mom already knows what's going on; she's just trying to pretend it's not happening, Newman says: "Parents do get stuck in the mindset of thinking their child is a child and young adults have to jog their parents' minds and remind them that they're grown."

How do you do that? Honesty is the best route, Newman says. "She could point out that before she moved back home, her mom didn't know she'd stayed out all night with some guy. She can say, 'You're going to have to look at me as a responsible adult who can make smart decisions for herself. What do you think I was doing when I was living on my own?'" If her mom still balks at letting her boyfriend spend the night, Whitney can also try presenting the situation in terms of safety rather than sleeping arrangements, Medea suggests. "She can say, 'I don't think I feel comfortable coming home at 4 A.M. Maybe I should stay there or he can stay here.'" That should get the topic out in the open and both sides talking about what makes sense.

"Living at Home Has Killed the Romance"
Name: Gabriel
Age: 27
Years at home: 6

Hardest part? "If I ever want to bring a girl home, just to watch a movie or cook dinner or something, I can't," Gabriel complains. "Having your parents around when you're trying to cozy with your date dampens the whole thing. It can really inhibit the flirting. And forget about sex at home! It's always at the girl's place or in the car or at a hotel. I would never have sex in the house with my parents there. It makes me too uncomfortable."

What's the most embarrassing thing that's happened? "My mom had told me that she was going to be out of the house for hours, so my girlfriend came over. Unfortunately, my mom came home earlier than expected. She didn't catch us naked or anything, but it was still embarrassing because we were disheveled enough that she knew my girlfriend and I were being intimate."

The solution: Since Gabriel finds it hard to be romantic with his parents around, he should try to negotiate with his parents to find time when he can have the house to himself, perhaps every other weekend. Newman suggests saying something simple, like: "I feel a little uncomfortable having dates over when you're here. Can we work out a plan?" The plan will involve boundaries and a level of privacy that satisfy both parties. Newman adds, "In general, an adult child's bedroom should be totally off limits to the parents and that needs to be negotiated before the child moves in."

Still having a tough time feeling romantic with your mom's Precious Moments figurines staring down at you from the mantel? Medea suggests being creative with dates and getting out of the house completely. "Instead of a candlelight dinner at home, take the candles and the dinner and go to a park or a beach, which is so romantic," she says. "Gabriel can invest in a small hibachi and dazzle her with his cooking skills that way. This takes the parents out of the equation altogether and he can really impress the girl."

"My Parents Are Too Nosy!"
Name: Karen
Age: 23
Years at home: All her life

Hardest part? "My parents always know when I'm dating someone new—even if I want to keep it private for awhile," Karen says. "And it bothers me, especially in the beginning, to have my mom prodding me, 'Who is he? What's he do?' It gets annoying. Plus, my parents want to meet my dates right away—and they usually do. And that can be awkward sometimes because of the whole 'Oh, you're going to have to meet my parents now,' which adds pressure when you've just started dating someone."

Most embarrassing moment: "That has more to do with my 14-year-old sister hanging around when I want time alone with my boyfriend. I guess it's more annoying than embarrassing. Other than that, if I do something my mom doesn't agree with—like staying out too late — well, I have to deal with the cold shoulder and her pretending she has no daughter!"

The solution: Karen's problem ultimately comes down to timing. "Karen wants to get to know her date before her parents do," Medea says. "She wants to make up her mind about the guy without pressure or anyone else's input. That's reasonable. She can talk to her mom and dad and tell them that they're very important to her, but it's a big step before she presents a guy to them. She can even flatter them by saying she wants to decide if the guy makes the grade before bringing him to meet them."

As for all the nosy questions, Newman says, "Karen needs to tell her mom straight out to stop prying and that she'll let her know when it's someone she's serious about." She can say, "Mom, I appreciate your interest, but please stop asking so many questions—if it's someone you should know about, I'll tell you." And, Newman points out, "Instead of letting her mom's cold shoulder bother her, she can view it as breathing room!"

"Girls Think I'm a Loser Because I Live at Home"
Name: Joel
Age: 26
Years at home: 3

Hardest part? "I moved home because I got laid off from my job and it gave me the time to record my band's album," Joel says. "But it was a real self-esteem destroyer. It's hard to go up to a beautiful woman at a bar and start talking to her. It's not like a 'my place or yours' problem, because I'm not really about that. The situation is that I have to basically say, 'I'm sorry I can't even offer you a place to come and hang out.' I try not to bring up my living situation at all. It doesn't usually come up in casual conversation, so I never push it—unless it's a woman I'm really interested in."

Most embarrassing moment? "I haven't had any of those weird, embarrassing moments where I tell a new girl I live with my parents and she flips out…because I'm too nervous to even bring it up until I get to know someone a little better. Whenever I do tell a woman I'm seeing, I'm sure none of them are crazy about it, but I think they don't want me to feel bad, so they've never said anything."

The solution: Joel shouldn't be so nervous about telling women he lives at home, our experts agree. "Today, living at home doesn't carry the same stigma it used to," Newman says. "Joel is one of millions who are doing it. He should be upfront with women at the beginning."

The key is in how he talks about it. "What Joel can do is describe his living situation in terms of his plans-in Joel's particular case, saving money to record his band's album," Medea says. "Then he can focus on talking about the dream, rather than the things he has to do to make the dream happen. And since it's a cool dream, the woman will cut him some slack. A lot of people are moving back home to position themselves for their next big move. Start talking about your plan. Living at home is what you have to do; the dream tells someone who you are."

Links for Further interest:
Weird News Daily

My Husband is not Sexy anymore - my husband bores me to death

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Fri, 18 Jul 2008 20:51:00 +0900

My Husband is not Sexy anymore - my husband bores me to death

"My Husband Is a Big Bore"

By Cynthia Hanson

Her Turn

"I'm so bored in my marriage," said Emily, 36, a fifth-grade teacher and mother of two -- Lisa, 9, and Will, 6. "When Joe and I got married 15 years ago he was a great conversationalist with tons of interests, including photography, tennis, and movies. He was also attentive and romantic, surprising me with flowers and weekend getaways. Now he's so preoccupied with running his insurance agency and working on the yard that he has no time for hobbies -- or for me. If I suggest that the two of us go out to eat or to a movie, Joe says he'd rather stay home with the kids. What's more, I shoulder all the parenting responsibilities. Joe's business lets him set his own hours, so couldn't he drive Lisa to ballet or Will to the dentist once in a while? Why must I always be the one who takes a personal day when they get sick?

"On the rare occasions we make love, we just go through the motions. Frankly, I don't find him sexy anymore: He's gained weight and wears outdated, ill-fitting clothes. He looks years older than he is.

"About a year ago I became friendly with a woman who came to our school to speak about art education. Deb's a painter and a free spirit who lives off a trust fund and travels all over the world. Just last week she showed me brochures for a rafting trip and a cruise she's planning to take. I got so envious! She has no kids and is separated from her second husband, so she can paint whenever the spirit moves her. The more time I spend with her, the more tied down and dejected I feel. After her divorce is final she's moving to Tucson to open an art gallery, and she's invited me to work for her. Separating from Joe and moving to Arizona sounds wild and irresponsible -- and appealing, maybe because I've never done anything wild or irresponsible in my entire life.

"Joe was my first and only boyfriend. Sometimes, on my worst days, I wonder if I rushed into marriage at 21 to escape my parents, who were perfectionists with impossibly high standards. If I got a new haircut, they'd tell me it accentuated my chubby face. In fact, Dad was so critical of my size that I joined Weight Watchers at 16, only to be told by the program director that I was at most five pounds overweight! My younger brother, Tom, was their clear favorite. I was expected to do daily chores, but Mom still made Tom's bed when he was in high school.

"Joe and I met on a blind date set up by friends. I was a high school junior from the New Jersey suburbs; he was a college sophomore from New York City. I was instantly attracted to his good looks and by the fact that he was more mature than the boys I knew. Our conversation flowed easily, and when he kissed me good-night it was the best kiss of my life."

"Joe had all the traits I was looking for -- kindness, intelligence, ambition -- and we shared the same goals. I thought I'd found my soul mate. We dated through college and got married right after I graduated.

"Our newlywed years were happy and hectic. I taught elementary school here in New Jersey -- a career I pursued at my parents' insistence, even though I'd wanted to study library science, while Joe sold insurance, hoping to run his own agency someday. We entertained, played tennis, and took road trips. On weekends we often attended crafts shows, since I made pottery and Joe liked photography.

"Back then our only argument was about my parents, who were -- and are -- very domineering. They insisted we celebrate every holiday with them and badgered us to have a baby, stop renting and buy a starter home. Joe said I was too dependent and wanted to limit our contact, but I could never stand up to them. I still can't.

"By the time Lisa was born, six years into our marriage, we'd bought a fixer-upper on an acre of land and Joe had started his own agency. Will came along three years later and we slipped into a totally child-and home-centered lifestyle, with our 'fun' limited to family outings. Joe is obsessed with his business and what he calls our 'property,' so every moment not devoted to his job is spent working on the house and lawn. I've begged him to hire a lawn service and contractors, but he refuses.

"So now we lead separate lives, connecting only at dinner with the kids. Every night after they're asleep I read in bed while he watches TV or works on his home-improvement projects. I'm so disappointed that I don't see any redeeming qualities in Joe or believe that he'll ever make me happy again.

"Last week, when I found myself calling Realtors to find out how much one-bedroom apartments rent for in Tucson, I realized I'd hit bottom. I know I'd enjoy working with Deb in the art gallery and I think I could live without Joe, but I love my kids too much to leave them. But neither would I want to yank them away from everything they've ever known. 'I'm miserable,' I told Joe. 'Join me in counseling, or I'm filing for divorce.'"

His Turn

"So Emily thinks I have no redeeming qualities?" said Joe, 40, sighing. "That's a low blow. I may not be perfect, but I'm a loving husband, devoted father, and excellent provider. I guess that's not enough for her.

"It's true I've neglected my hobbies and I tend to talk about my business and family. But since when does Emily's happiness depend on whether I take photographs or play tennis? Besides, I could say the same about her: When was the last time she made pottery or discussed an interesting book?

"Emily can't accept that we're not footloose single people anymore. We have children to raise, careers to manage, and a house to run. We've achieved our goals, but Emily is infatuated with the freedom her friend Deb has. She's planted crazy ideas in Emily's head about the 'burdens' of marriage and motherhood. Deb's a bad influence, and as far as I'm concerned, she can't move to Arizona fast enough.

"For years now I've been walking on eggshells, fearful of Emily's bad temper and snide comments. We almost never make love; Emily has rejected me so many times I've stopped trying. She's perpetually annoyed with me. If I mow the lawn, she claims I'm more interested in it than her. She's so moody I would rather mow the lawn than be with her.

"I grew up in Queens, New York. My parents instilled strong work ethics in my sister and me, and I grew up helping my dad with home repairs. I take great pride in the way I look after our property today. And yes, I'm reluctant to pay somebody to do work I can do myself. But instead of appreciating my efforts, Emily makes nasty remarks.

"It's almost hard to believe now just how easy it was to fall in love with her. Emily was younger and more sheltered than the other girls I'd dated, but she was also more intelligent, witty, and refined. I liked her looks -- she's a pretty blonde -- and our personalities clicked. But her parents have always pushed her around, and that's been a much, much bigger problem than Emily admits. She wanted to become a librarian, but went into teaching to satisfy them. Her mother -- the most egotistical, overbearing person I've ever met -- phones eight times a day, shows up unannounced, and finds fault with everything. If Emily so much as forgets to send a cousin a birthday card, she hears about it from her mom. Emily's father is just as bad. He insists on being right and belabors every point until you give in to shut him up. I can't stand being around them, and have begged Emily to set limits. But even though she bad-mouths her parents to me, she refuses to do anything to change the situation.

"As for parenting, Emily is being unfair. Her workday ends at 3 p.m., when school is over, whereas that's my busiest time. I simply cannot scoot away from the office in the middle of the afternoon to chauffeur the kids around. When I'm not working I drive Lisa and Will to activities, help them with homework, and take them to the park. Why won't Emily give me credit for that?

"And this is the first I've heard that she hates my appearance. She's never commented on my weight or clothes before, though she did buy me some clothes that were way too trendy for me.

"Despite everything, I love my wife and can't bear the thought of losing her. I'm not mad at Emily for disliking me -- I'm just heartbroken that she feels that way. I'll do my part to improve our relationship, but she needs to do her part, too, by improving her attitude."

The Counselor's Turn

"A common predicament among couples who seek counseling is that one or both feel dissatisfied with themselves, but project that dissatisfaction onto their partners," said the counselor. "In this case, the more I heard Emily complain about her husband's shortcomings, the more I became convinced that the root cause of their marital woes was her profound personal unhappiness -- not Joe's behavior. To explain her misery, she had fixated on petty faults of Joe's, such as his expanded waistline and outdated wardrobe. I thought that if Emily felt better about herself, she would soften toward her husband and their marriage could be revived.

"First, we examined how Emily's childhood had shaped her behavior. After hearing her talk about her parents, I came to believe that both were narcissists -- manipulative attention-seekers who never take responsibility for being wrong. Adult children of narcissists are often insecure and unhappy, having tried to please their parents only to fall short again and again. Emily was typical: She did whatever her parents asked, from becoming a teacher to sending birthday cards to every distant relative, but nothing was ever enough, and she ended up angry and critical. She had unrealistic expectations for herself, Joe, motherhood, and marriage, and when life did not match those expectations, she retreated into a state of perpetual disappointment.

"'Narcissists don't take responsibility for their actions,' I told her. 'Hence, they never change. So the sooner you put some distance between you and your parents, the sooner your healing can begin.' Emily began declining their invitations, screening phone calls, and changing the subject when they criticized her. Midway through the couple's counseling, Emily's parents retired and moved to North Carolina, easing the withdrawal process. 'I haven't cut them off,' Emily said, 'but now I fight back when they try to meddle.'

"Similarly, I believed that being around Deb, whose life Emily saw as exciting and enviable, contributed to her discontent. So I encouraged her to cool things off. This proved to be fairly easy, because Deb was busy finalizing her divorce and preparing for her move. By the time Deb left, Emily was no longer under her spell."

"Next, after hearing Emily voice her regret that she didn't become a librarian, I encouraged her to enroll in a certification program in library science. Soon after being certified she found a job as a middle school librarian, which gave her a professional satisfaction she'd never known. This in turn restored her optimism and enthusiasm for other activities.

"As for Joe, he too needed to regain his spark. While he genuinely enjoyed working on the house and yard, it was partly a way to avoid Emily. I persuaded him to hire a lawn service and, when needed, contractors. He also added two salespeople to his staff, allowing him to be more involved with childcare. By watching his diet and power-walking with Emily, he lost 20 pounds and bought some new clothes that they picked out together. These physical changes brightened both their moods.

"I also encouraged the couple to hire a babysitter twice a month so they could go out alone. 'We eat out, watch movies, and have leisurely conversations without interruption,' said Emily, 'just like when we were newlyweds.' As the pair drew closer emotionally, their sex life picked up accordingly. They also resumed their art projects and even sold some pottery and photographs at crafts fairs. 'Unloading some of our stress helped us be creative again,' said Joe.

"'I've fallen back in love with my husband,' marveled Emily. 'The young me was right: Joe is my soul mate.'"

Originally published in Ladies' Home Journal, July 2008.

Links for Further interest:

Good Mood Diet that works - for a healthy well being

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Thu, 3 Jul 2008 20:32:00 +0900

The Good Mood Diet

Research shows certain snacks make potent anti-depressants, if you eat them right
By Thomas Crook, PhD, Prevention

My grandfather was a wonderful man who loved cookies. When I visited his lovely, old house surrounded by trees, flowers, vegetable gardens, and lawns, we shared all sorts of cookies, always paired with a large glass of cold milk. Over the years, they became so closely associated with visiting Granddad that now, whenever I have one, I feel buoyed by a swell of happy memories.

As it turns out, scientists have a solid explanation for that burst of good cheer. Studies by Richard Wurtman, MD, and Judith Wurtman, PhD, at MIT have shown that snacking on readily digested carbohydrates, such as those in a cookie or bagel, can raise the brain's level of the chemical serotonin, the very same target of modern antidepressant medication.

Of course, other foods are reputed mood boosters, too — though their reputations may not always be deserved. Before I give you a specific plan that will help you benefit from the MIT findings, let's look at a few. Tea is known as "the cup that cheers," and the caffeine in it can certainly improve energy. But that's a physiological response; no studies have confirmed a direct effect on your spirits. Mood booster? The jury's out. (The same is true of coffee.)

Alcohol is commonly thought of as a good-times libation, but it has a dark side. Although a recent study found that moderate drinkers (two drinks a day for men, one for women) had fewer depressive symptoms than nondrinkers, scores of other studies have established that alcohol in large quantities can be a devastating depressant. Mood booster? Perhaps, but only in small amounts.

As for chocolate, which many of us reach for as a pick-me-up: Australian scientists concluded recently that eating the sweet to lift your spirits "is more likely to prolong than abort the dysphoric [depressed] mood. It is not, as some would claim, an antidepressant." Mood booster? Apparently not. (Stick to a 1-ounce serving if you want to benefit from chocolate's disease-fighting antioxidants.)

That brings us to Granddad's cookies, which can brighten your spirits when eaten judiciously. (Incidentally, carb snacking may be more effective for women because they produce substantially less serotonin than men do.) Now, you won't want to try this regimen if you have diabetes or are prediabetic. But if you qualify, try raising your mood-lifting serotonin levels a couple of times a day by doing the following:

Include protein in each of your three meals.

This will raise blood levels of tryptophan, a chemical that eventually turns into serotonin. The best sources of tryptophan are poultry, seafood, and lean meat.

Have a small carbohydrate snack about 3 or 4 hours after each meal and about 1 hour before your next one.

Make sure that your stomach is empty and that you eat no protein between meals. The carbohydrates should be easily digestible — such as one or two oatmeal cookies, a third of a bagel, a slice of whole wheat bread. This will cause tryptophan in your blood to enter the brain, where it is metabolized into serotonin. Elevated serotonin will improve your mood within 20 to 30 minutes.

If you follow the rules, you'll also fall asleep more quickly at night, because at the end of the day, your brain metabolizes serotonin into the natural sleep aid melatonin. From happy to sleepy, all by way of a cookie. It doesn't get much cheerier than that!

Thomas Crook, PhD, a clinical psychologist, has conducted extensive research to improve our understanding of how the brain works. He is a former research program director at the National Institute of Mental Health and is CEO of Cognitive Research Corp. in St. Petersburg, FL.

Provided by Prevention

Links for Further interest:
Real Travel Guide with tips

ReLaTiOnShIp 101

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Thu, 15 May 2008 07:59:00 +0900

1. A man won't let go if he really

loves you.

Do not hold on to someone who has let

go of you. He does not love you and

does not value having you. Believe me,

he will not let go if he really loves

you. There is another reason he is not

willing to tell.

2. Do not look for reasons why he

ended the relationship.

There is only one reason why he ended

your relationship. He just does not

love you. Do not waste your time

thinking of reasons or what you should

have done. Move on and be open to a

man who will truly love you.

3. Do not get hung up on your past.

Do not nag or distrust your current

boyfriend just because your ex hurt

you. Do not treat him or the

relationship the same way. Do not

compare. He will not react the same

way as your ex. Do not be worried that

your simple mistakes will cause him to

look for another girl. What happened

with your ex was not your fault. It

was not because you didn't guard him

enough or you didn't make him happy

enough.

4. Do not look into images.

How many times have you met a girl who

didn't have the best image in school

or at the office, but you get to know

the girl and found out she was

actually extremely nice? Do not rely

on images. Oftentimes, it is far from

reality. Do not fear men just because

your "supposedly" perfect ex-boyfriend

mistreated you.

5. Always have your own set of rules.

Set your limits on how far you'd go

for a guy. It's perfectly ok to give

and do everything as long as it's

worth it. And it's worth it if the guy

is treating you right.

6. Do not be scared to lose him.

Don't be scared that he'll break up

with you. Once you are afraid of

losing him, you easily can be taken

advantage. Be strong and if something

is unacceptable, do not accept it and

speak up.

7. Avoid calling your guy.

It's a guy thing. The relationship

will definitely be better if it's the

guy who's calling, not the girl. He

will get tired of you if you keep on

calling. He will lose interest and

challenge. More

so, he will get annoyed. But it's a

girl thing also that your fingers get

too itchy until you dial his number.

But avoid as much as possible. Call

only if really needed (like checking

if your suspicions are reasonable).

8. There is a guy who will value you.

There is a guy out there who can make

you feel valued, appreciated, and

loved. And I mean, not just during

your first few weeks together. So

don't lose hope. Don't settle for a

lesbian if you are not attracted to

women. There is a man out there who

can love you like a girl can.

Also, do not believe him when he says

it's just the way he really is. He's

not the sweet or expressive-type.

Remember during your first few weeks

together? Where has that sweet guy

gone? He simply is not that into you

anymore.

9. Always be the only one, no matter

what.

Do not ever fall for a guy who has

another girl, be it his wife,

girlfriend, or any girl that he says

he just can't get rid of for whatever

reason. If you truly believe that he

loves you and for some reason, he

can't leave or let go of another girl,

then you are no different from any

ordinary mistress.

10. He must respect you.

No matter how long the relationship

has been, he should always show

respect towards you.

11. If he fooled you, end it.

Philandering once is enough. You can

never trust nor respect the person

again.

12. Never start a relationship the

wrong way.

Do not steal another girl's man, for

whatever reason. Nor should you enter

a relationship for the wrong reasons

(loneliness, on the rebound, getting

back at your ex, man-dependency, etc.)

it is bound not to last. You will only

end up wasting more years of your life.

13. Do not force yourself into a

relationship.

Do not get into a relationship just

because your friends are getting

impatient with your dating escapades

and the one hasn't come yet.

Ever found yourself holding back because you're too proud?

I realized that pride would get me nowhere. You'll never get anywhere if you don't start somewhere. So swallow your pride. But what I failed to mention was that the absence of pride makes me feel so bare. Like I'm holding on to it for that just-in-case moment that I realize I just don't want to give it up--- just yet. Maybe until I realize and find the right reason for taking in my pride and as a result, would actually make me a better person. Maybe I'm still waiting for that "humbling experience" to happen. You know, the kind of experience that just makes you realize your flaws and that you have to change not for anyone but for yourself. Am I making any sense? Well my point is, I'm slowly but unsurely taking in my pride in hopes that by doing so, I'm becoming a more mature person, a braver being. I hope. But I think what I'm doing is a meaningful endeavor and maybe more because I think that person may be worth getting to know, may actually be worth my while. We'll see. So find a cause, something that you think is worth your while. And if it's a someone, you have master patience and ask yourself if he/she is worth knowing or talking to and that person would make you someone better. Cheesy, yes but hey that's the truth!:D I end this with a quote in my head:

" When you find someone who makes you smile, when you find someone who makes you learn to love, who makes you wake up to the reality of life, when you find someone who truly listens and shares what he thinks, when you find you want to spend every hour, every minute, every nanosecond with that person, keep him and if he's not yet yours, find him. Everything starts with that one step that makes all the difference in the world."

Links for Further interest:
Another Love Doctor

Love, Love and More Love

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Fri, 2 May 2008 07:56:00 +0900

Love Doctor Mac says a little about love

We all want to fall in love. Why? Because that
experience makes us feel completely alive. Where
every sense is heightened, every emotion is
magnified, our everyday reality is shattered and
we are flying into the heavens. It may only last a
moment, an hour, an afternoon. But that doesn't
diminish its value. Because we are left with
memories that we treasure for the rest of our lives.

1) Don't turn your back on love when it's already
in front of you, Don't drive it away from you,
because if you do, someday, you'll think again,
why you let love flew when it was there next to you.

2) In Love, think things first over if you're sure
about how you feel. Don't fall too hard not
knowing where you will stand, 'coz it will hurt
real badly if things don't go the way you want
them to be.

3) It's an irony to know that it takes hours for
someone to have guts to say "hi" to the one he
likes, days to admire, weeks to miss the person,
months to love, but just a blink of an eye to say
goodbye...

4) Go for the person who loves you. It is not
wrong to love someone who belongs to someone else,
but it is much better to love someone who could
also love you in return.

5) Love isn't something we hold, it is something
we set free. It's not something we just do, but
it's something we don't imagine it to be. Lastly,
it's not something we choose, it chooses us...

6) The scariest thing about falling in love is
getting hurt. The scariest thing about getting
hurt is not being able to love again. The scariest
thing about not loving again is being alone forever.

7) When you follow your heart, worry not where it
will lead you, for your heart knows the way. And
if you do get lost or reach a dead end, use your
head to lead you back home.

8) When you truly care for someone, you don't look
for faults, you don't look for answers, you don't
look for mistakes. Instead, you fight for the
mistakes, you accept the faults, and you overlook
excuses.

9) It's better to lose your pride to the one you
love, than lose your loved one to your useless pride.

10) Love is ......... not its your fault ", but
"Im sorry ", not " where are you ? ", but " Im
here", not " how could you ? ", but " I
understand, not "I wish you were here ", but " Im
thankful you are ".

11) The beginning of love is to let those we love
be just themselves, and not twist with our own image.

Otherwise, we love only the reflection of
ourselves we find in them.

12) If a relationship is truly meant for you, your
love will find a way to make it happen, and God
will be there to make sure it will stay.

The Real Love Doctor Talks about planning your Valentine Date

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Sat, 19 Jan 2008 16:54:00 +0900

The Real Love Doctor Talks about planning your Valentine Date

The Real Love Doctor Welcomes you all back for another session in our love clinic. Last time around we talked about how to effectively write an effective love letter for both man and woman, and boy follow emails poured in like crazy, okay well just about two mails. Hehe. They were all asking for the same thing though, one big question when valentines is just around the corner in just a couple of more weeks to be exact, they were asking how to have a perfect valentines date. Well that is just what the real love doctor Mac is all about. I am here as your friendly neighborhood Love Doctor and I will give out the best advices for you to make your partner happy, and make your very own experience in this year's valentine a successful and memorable one.

Steps to take to prepare for a valentine date:

1. Plan ahead

Be it with months time preparation or now that it's just a couple of weeks ahead, Valentines needs a rough draft or a few imagination to go along. Ask yourself these few questions. Will I have a budget to spend when the date comes? What are her favorite restaurants? Can I afford to take her there? What are my alternatives? Gifts? How many hours will we spend outside? Movies? Something outrageous and out of this world? Will I be going according to her preference? My preference? Compensated preferences?

2. Gifts are Important

As a gentleman make it always a great hobby to offer your woman or woman to be gifts, women are suckers for gifts and usually feel special when you hand this stuff to them. Make the gift something she can use often, that way she can remember you every time she use your gift. Well think of something fast now.

3. Make Reservations

Always make it a habit to scout your place to hang out with, if good take the contact numbers of that place and call up weeks prior to the Valentine Event. This way you can avoid rush ups and competition with other couples dating during the same time of the holiday.

4. I go for a letter rather than flowers, but girls have a world different than our own

In other words, be unique. Uniqueness earns points to a girls heart, if chocolates are her craze give only a few, a simple flower and not a bouquet can be romantic, but bear in mind that a million men out there also will buy flowers, do you want to be with the majority too? Originality will bring out the best of you.

5. Lastly, treat her well and make her a princess even for the day only

Give in to her wishes and make this day special to her and for you to. If you got this mind set right from the start then I can guarantee you that you will have one of the most special day ever.

Have a blast the both of you, and I will be writing a few articles still before Valentines, So make plans now, write them up to make you remember them and start saving for that day, In my count valentines day prices are always bloated up to take advantage of couples celebrating the said event, so take this 5 steps for a successful and wonderful day.

Till next time, The Real Love doctor signing out of the love clinic. Feel free to mail me all your love problems and love inquiries on our new email ad blogger05@hotmail.com

Till next time Love Doctor is out

Links for Further interest:
Weird News Daily
SEXY and NAUGHTY Stories
SUPER CARS and Turbo Chargers
DIABETES Info and cure
NEED A LOVE DOCTOR?
SEXY Daily LATINA HEAT

How to effectively write a love letter to a Woman and a Man

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Thu, 10 Jan 2008 00:32:00 +0900

How to effectively write a love letter to a Woman and a Man

Hello dear readers of our Love Clinic, The real Love Doctor is in once again, Happy new year to all, the festivities of the season of new Year is almost over and from those times about a week ago or later we have maybe wrote a couple of letters to family and friends??? If so you did, great if not then better start practicing my friend. Today Love Doctor Mac will tackle about how to write effective Love Letters for both sexes, yep that's right. So read on and learn

You want to give her something special - words that convey how you feel about her! But, where do you start?

This article tells you what she wants to know and how to say it to her.

Difficulty: Easy

Things You'll Need

30 minutes to an hour of uninterrupted time.
scrap paper
nice stationary
A good writing instrument
a pressed flower, a photograph, or some small momento

Steps

Step One

Take a few moments to just sit quietly and think about her. On a scrap of paper, jot down the first words that come to your mind about her.

Step Two

Still thinking about her, write down one response for each of these:
a color, a texture, a scent or smell, a time of day, a season, a food, a song.

Step Three

If you have a favorite or special memory of the two of you, write down a few key words about it. You don't have to write details, just "caught in the rain," or "falling on the step" will do.

Step Four

Now, you're ready to write. On a scrap of paper, your first sentence should tell her that you were thinking about her today, and then include those first words that came to mind when you were thinking about her in step 1.

Step Five

Now, choose a few of the descriptive words (the color, scent, etc.) that you like the most. Make them into a couple of sentences. For example, if you're the romantic type, tell her that thinking of her reminded you of a warm sunny beach at midday, with the smell of jasmine on the breeze. Or, if you're more the strong and silent type, tell her that she is the softest, most beautiful woman you have ever known.

Step Six

Your last sentence should be something like, "It made me smile when I remembered ..." whatever your favorite or special memory is.

Step Seven

Read it over and make adjustments until it sounds right to you. Do not make adjustments more than twice; trust yourself. Your feelings will come through.

Step Eight

Write out your final draft on nice, quality stationary. Place a pressed flower, a small photograph, or something unique to the both of you inside. Seal it well or with a sticker that you know she will like.

You can buy single sheets and single envelopes of good stationary at art supply stores.
Be sincere and honest. Your love letter should truly be inspired by the thoughts you have of her. It will show in your words.
To a woman, it's the effort that counts. If it appears like you went through trouble just for her, she will love what you give her, no matter how difficult your handwriting may be to read.
Keep it about love and your appreciation of her. Don't inject sex into your love letter. (Save that for a different kind of letter, or yummy phone sex!)

How to effectively write a love letter to a Man

You want to express yourself, but you're not sure what to say or how to say it. What will capture his attention?

Difficulty: Easy

Things You'll Need

30 minutes to an hour of interrupted time.
scrap paper
Masculine or neutral stationary (paper or email background).
A good writing instrument.

Steps

Step One

Sit quietly for a few minutes. Picture him in your mind. Think about the way he makes you feel and why.

Step Two

On a scrap of paper, jot down a few key words based on your thoughts. You can either formulate sentences out of these words, or simply use the words, alone, to convey what he means to you and why.

Step Three

Limit your sentences to 15 words. Limit your letter to four or five sentences, maximum. Three would be ideal. Men have very good imaginations, being the visual creatures they are. They don't need a lot of words to understand what you mean.

Step Four

Add a scent. If there is a scent you wear that he knows well, spritz a little in the air and wave your love letter through it. It will carry the smell without being overpowering.

Men are visual animals. Keep your words few.
Add a sketch or photograph to your letter. Or, if you're sending an email, find an image that conveys your feelings and include it at the end of your words.
Be sincere and honest with yourself; it will show in your words.
Lace and frills should probably be avoided. Consider his tastes when choosing stationary or an email background.

There we have it.. till next time on the Real Love Doctor Clinic! This is the Real Love Doctor Mac Signing out.

Chow!

Links for Further interest:
LMAO so just laugh too!
EVEN KINKIER AND NAUGHTIER SEX STORIES
PURE FILIPINA BEAUTIES HERE
KOREAN GIRLS GALORE
REAL ASIAN TRAVEL GUIDE
Weird News Daily

How to Properly Prepare for a Date [ yeah for noobs and virgins ] VERY EFFECTIVE TECHNIQUE

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 05:53:00 +0900

1.Do some homework. In the days before a date, take time out to catch up with current events and hot topics. These are great conversation starters and you will be able to impress your date with your knowledge. Try to remember as much as you can about previous conversations together so you can follow up on them. Have a couple of funny stories or conversation pieces up your sleeve in case you need them.

2.Start looking and feeling good in advance. Set time aside for exercise in the days before the date, whether it's yoga or push ups. Eat well and get plenty of sleep.

3.Pick your clothes early. You should have several outfits laid out before the day of the date. This way you won't have any last minute panics when you realize you have a spaghetti stain down your favourite shirt. Plus, it will allow you to try on a few different looks on the day of the date and see which one fits your mood most comfortably at the time.

4.Clean up on the day of the date. Take a nice, long shower or bath. Ensure you have clean hair and nails. You should smell good, but not overpowering. Avoid heavy perfumes and aftershaves, especially if your date could be allergic. Ladies, go easy when applying make-up and aim for a natural but groomed look. If things go well he will eventually see you without make-up - and you will want him to recognize you at that point. Shortly before leaving for your date, floss and brush your teeth thoroughly.

5.Think positively. You're going out to enjoy yourself, after all. Don't start worrying about what disasters could happen, because that way they are far more likely to. If you are getting nervous, call a good friend, watch your favourite comedy show or listen to upbeat music. Loosen up. Focus on having fun and you inevitably will.

6.Be punctual. Give yourself plenty of time to get to your rendezvous. Keeping your date waiting will start things off on the wrong foot.

TIPS
* Relax, be yourself, and be confident. More specifically, in addition to "being confident," you should "know your success" (success breeds confidence). Instead of "being yourself," try "being your best self".
* Sometimes even with the best preparation, your date might turn out awful. You may wish to have a "back out plan" in case this happens. Find a good friend you can call and then he/she can call you back in a few minutes so you can say you have some sort of crisis you need to attend to. You could also try being an honest person and say that you don't think it's working out, and that you need to leave early. Be prepared to contribute to the date and excuse yourself.
* Bring a condom. Whether you plan to use it or not, it is better to be prepared than to end up with responsibilities you didn't want. But, remember that you don't have to have sex.

Warnings and cautions
* Never put yourself in a compromising situation--most people are trustworthy, but "date rape" is unfortunately a real occurrence. Always have a first date in a public setting (restaurant, movie, club, mall, etc.) Only accept drinks served from a bottle or can opened by you or in front of you, or by a third party (like a bartender). Unfortunately, there are drugs ("date rape drugs") that can be added to ANY drink without any noticeable difference in taste. Some people use these drugs to put women (and sometimes men) in precarious situations. If you turn away from your drink, get into the habit of covering it with your hand, as it only takes a second to slip something into a drink. If you are suspicious, get a new drink.
* If you feel something's wrong, trust your instincts and politely but firmly end the date.
* Be sure to always have a cell phone and cash for a cab so that you never feel you have to rely on your date for a ride home.
* Always be careful about alcoholic intake.
* Don't Do Drugs

Links for Further interest:
Celebrity ETC!
Celebrity Buzz!
Bahamas Dream Vacation !
Japanese GIRLS PICS!
Do it yourself COOKING!
Liver Lover!
Weird News Daily

50 THINGS GUYS NEED TO KNOW ABOUT GIRLS

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 05:57:00 +0900

50 THINGS GUYS NEED TO KNOW ABOUT GIRLS

1. Girls like to be held, NOT fondled.

2. We like to cuddle and be loved NOT treated like crap.

3. When we say or neck or back or something else hurts you should offer to make it feel better (give us a massage).

4. We like to be treated WITH respect.

5. We like it when you call when you say your going to call.

6. Girls are more sensitive than guys so watch what you say and do.

7. When you brake-up with us DON'T do it over the Internet and explain why your breaking up with us and tell the truth don't lie about it.

8. If there's something we're doing wrong then tell us NOT your friends, we're the ones that can change it your friends can't.

9. On a date you should pick us up NOT us pick you up.

10. When we go out to dinner DON'T pick the cheapest restaurant.

11. We like it when you put your arm around us and rub our stomach.

12. DON'T force us to do something otherwise you'll NEVER get it.

13. DON'T ask us what's wrong unless you want to know the honest to God answer.

14. DON'T keep asking us what's wrong when we've already told you nothing because obviously nothing is wrong or we just don't want to talk about it.

15. If you don't want us pissed at you DON'T do something stupid that will piss us off.

16. If you don't want us to hate you forever don't let us find out about your other girlfriend in simple terms DON'T EVER CHEAT ON US.

17. You don't ALWAYS have to be right.

18. Except us and love us for who we are NOT who you want us to be.

19. If we talk to another guy it's NOT cheating.

20. When we brake up DON'T lie to your friends and say we broke up with you when YOU broke up with us.

21. When our best friend is a guy it doesn't mean that we like them.

22. When someone comes up to us and says crap DON'T just stand there stick up for us.

23. When we say call me it means as soon as possible NOT 2 or 3 days later.

24. When we ask what your thinking we just want to know if your thinking about us.

25. Just because your friends don't like us doesn't mean you have to break up with us, you're the one going out with us not them.

26. DON'T judge us on looks because looks DON'T matter it's what we're like on the inside NOT the outside.

27. DON'T get mad over something stupid because you'll be ruining it for yourself NOT us.

28. Just because we talk to our ex boyfriends DOESN'T mean we like them. (A lot of us like to become friends with our ex's not enemies)

29. We don't care if you talk to your ex girlfriends just DON'T do ANYTHING with them. (KEYWORD is ANYTHING)

30. When we say we don't feel good we really mean we need you to hold us and kiss us and make us feel better.

31. Anything we say or do during that 4 days to a week each month CANNOT be held against us.

32. We think about you ALL the time.

33. If you're developing such good finger skills playing video games you better put them to good use sometimes.

34. We're sensitive too...be gentle (and we're not just talking about our hearts here guys).

35. When we say we're tired put your arm around us and cuddle with us so we can put our head on your shoulder or lap.

36. Don't EVER lie to us about ANYTHING, you know we'll find out eventually.

37. SAYING something sweet MIGHT get you off the hook, but DOING something sweet will always get you off the hook.

38. Hugs and kisses MUST be given at all times.

39. Don't always expect us to call you, the phone works both way, you know the drill!!

40. I love you is a big step, DON'T say it unless you really mean it.

41. Come and pick us up when we need you to, most of the time we just miss you a lot and want to see you!

42. DO NOT hit on or lead on numerous girls...Because it definitely sucks for you when we all find out...You just ruined your chances with all of us!!

43. We have PMS every month...Please just try to understand...We don't feel good, we're angry, and we're emotional.. DON'T FIGHT WITH US...It's just something you don't want to do.

44. Most of the things you do reflects back on us in some way...or efects us in some way...DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID.

45. Don't say you understand when you really don't.

46. Don't make bets about us we ALWAYS find out.

47. We don't shave our legs EVERY day so get over it.

48. You don't have PMS so don't act like you know what it's like because you never will.

49. Be there for us...a hug, a kiss, a call, a visit or even just listening to us can go along way.

50. When we brake up DON'T go after my best friend.

Links for Further interest:
Liver Lover!
Bar ROOM Jokes DAILY!
FHM HOTTIES PICS DAILY!
ALL MALE CELEBS DAILY!
PHILIPPINE GIRLS PICS DAILY!

Weird News Daily

How to Properly french kiss someone

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 03:48:00 +0900

Hello dear Readers of the Real Love Doctor's clinic, today the Love Doctor will continue to give tips and know how's about Love and the art of body language in presenting one's love for another. Today as I checked on the last time in most of my emails, I have learned that a lot of those of you out there were asking on how to hug properly, when is the time for a great holding hands and even 2 letters on how to kiss correctly a girl. As I teared my self in laughing upon reading such things, I came up with a standard way of kissing passionately instructions just for you to follow. enjoy

French kissing is similar to another French invention: Champagne. A little bit will make you giddy but too much can lead to trouble. Whether you're studying up before a first date or simply curious, here are some French kissing techniques for anyone looking to learn how to French kiss.

Difficulty: Easy

Things You'll Need

Breath Mints

Steps

Step One

Remember that French kissing can quickly unhinge passions. Start with gentle pecks and tongue-free kisses as you get to know someone.

Step Two

When you're ready to French kiss, lean toward your date with your head tilted slightly to avoid bumping noses. Men may wrap their arms around a date's waist; women may wrap their arms around a date's neck.

Step Three

Make eye contact as you lean toward one another but close your eyes as the lips meet. Inadvertent eye-contact mid-kiss can be quite awkward.

Step Four

As you lean in for the kiss, have your lips parted ever so slightly and inhale through your mouth to heighten the senses and to avoid breathing on your date.

Step Five

Allow your lips to brush against each others to create light, feathery kisses. Keep the tongue in your mouth initially.

Step Six

As the kiss warms up, allow your tongue to flicker onto your date's lips. Don't let your tongue linger--keep the flickers quick and gentle.

Step Seven

If your date responds in kind, let your tongue extend back toward his or her tongue. Keep the movement light and gentle--tongue wrestling is a no-no.

Step Eight

Breathe through your nose as your tongues touch playfully and sensually.

Step Nine

Lose yourself in the moment: give complete attention to the kiss. If your mind is on anything else, you're missing out on the full experience.

Step Ten

End the kiss. French kissing can get messy if continued without breathers. Take time to nuzzle necks, nibble ears or whisper sweet nothings before diving in for another kiss.

Tips & Warnings

Fresh breath is essential. Avoid smelly foods (garlic, brie cheese, corn chips, coffee) beforehand. Freshen up with a mint or gum, making sure to dispose of the gum before kissing.
Some people find it helpful to practice French kissing on ice cream. It's a chilly but effective way to practice tongue flickers.
Read your date's body language to ensure a French kiss would be welcomed. Holding hands and gentle brush-ups during the date are good signs.
There is no single right way to French kiss. Kissing is as individual as the people doing it. The most important thing is to be true to yourself, your date and the moment.
French kissing can quickly unleash passions. Know your limits beforehand and be prepared to put the other person on hold when you reach them.
French kissing improves with practice. Don't be dismayed if your first time French kiss fails to ignite fireworks. Practice makes perfect.
Don't shove your whole tongue in the other person's mouth, it's not a pleasant experience.

Links for Further interest:
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Why do guys give girls sexy expressions? Answered By the Real love Doctor

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 06:16:00 +0900

Hello Dear Readers of The Real Love Doctor Clinic. Oh My How Time Flies By the Minute and soon it will be Christmas, Just in 12 days or less depending on your location, the grandest festive time of the year for most countries is really here. Your Love Doctor as busy as always have been going into a lot of trouble preparing life's management as of late. No worries To all who sent their emails as I have been answering them privately too.

To all concern Our Email System has broke down and I will Change the Email To DASAINBONG@Yahoo.com

I repeat Mail all your Life, Love And Relationships Concerns only to DASAINBONG@Yahoo.com.

For now let's go on to our next letter sender of the day.

It came from a sweet girl going to a name Vallery, Here is her concerns about real love or flirting and my answer is right in below. Let the Real Love Doctor get to work now and have your appointments ready for those who needs love advice and love tips.

Dear Love Doctor

Why do guys give girls sexy expressions?
This guy i like at work when ever i look at him or smile or laugh or talk to him he gives me this really sexy expression. and i cant even explain it. and i don't know why he does it. i hope you can help me on this.

Dear Vallery, in accordance to your letter I will make this brief and simple for you just like your love letter to me. Which is plain short and straight to the point and I really find it appealing that you did it that way as it has a rush kinda feel in it. LOL

Why do you feel this way to him can only be answered in two simple ways

1. First He is into you or he wants you, that's why he gives you the look and he tries to be sexy all the time when talking to you, guys tend to be at their sexiest when they flirt with girls they like.

2. Maybe He's really that sexy and you find him attractive, everyone has a distinct taste about how we like our partners or mate to be, YOU MIGHT JUST BE ATTRACTED TO HIM. Maybe he is really a hunk after all

there You have it, keep the love letters pouring and have a merry Christmas ahead.

The Real Love Doctor Signing Off

Till the next time our clinic opens

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Simple Relationship tips for men

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Fri, 7 Dec 2007 02:14:00 +0900

Okay guys, we all have wondered at one time or another, what’s it take to have a good relationship? Hopefully I can help some of you struggling fellows out a bit.

Woman are mysterious, strong, soft, weak, compassionate, caring, thoughtful, delicate and many other emotions, usually all at the same time. Men, well, we just are what we are. We get confused when they cry, laugh, get mad, scream and sleep. It’s a basic difference between men and women. Some things you can do to help your woman and make her think she is the best and only person in your life. This is of course directed to men in a relationship.

Pay attention to her. This is the number one thing you can do. If she is talking, don’t be text messaging a friend, watching sports, playing games, or reading. Give her your undivided attention. And keep that thought running through your head out of there, it will show up in your eyes. Make eye contact with her. Gently lay your hand on her arm or leg to let her know you are focused completely on her. It makes her feel that she is worth your time and attention.

Do thing with her that she wants to do. She goes with you to sporting events, the latest action flicks, your sports bars, your greasy restaurants. Go with her where she wants. See a movie she wants to see. Maybe *gasp* get dressed up and go to a nice restaurant. Go for a quite walk in a park, by the lake, in a flower garden. During this time, turn your cell phone off, or on silent, hold her hand, look at her. Listen to what she says, and reply in full sentences instead of monosyllable words.

Compliment her, but don’t over do it. Don’t use the standard, “you are hot” or other cheesy lines. Pick out something specific. If you watch her get ready, see what she spends the most time working on, and compliment that. Compliment her hair, shoes, clothes. Tell her she is beautiful. Look in her eyes when you say this and maintain eye contact. Never complain about how long it takes her to get ready. She is doing it for you.

Having other female friends is not necessarily a no-no, but if you do have any make sure your woman knows about them. If they want to meet for dinner/lunch, always, always, always make sure your woman is invited. This is a touchy subject, some women want no other woman talking to her man, others don’t mind as long as they are included in every aspect of your friendship as well.

If anything is remembered from reading this, remember this. When you have a woman, and she is everything to you, make sure she knows it. Don’t take her for granted, cause somebody else out there will show her what you can’t, and you will be without your everything.

Links for Further interest:
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Best Friend Close Friend causing Love rifts to Lovers

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Sat, 24 Nov 2007 04:44:00 +0900

Hello Dear Readers of The Real Love Doctor Clinic. Today we will tackle a life experience of the Real Love doctor himself. so sit back and enjoy reading the post below today!

I have been asked one too many times to somehow share my life experiences around here so people can gaged my being the Real Love Doctor as either fake or somewhat credible enough. I must say I am stumped always and that I don't have a clue where to start talking. One day a girl mailed me and ask why not share an experience about having an opposite-sex close friend. She asks if it is safe or not? She also included that she is in a relationship and that her boyfriend is pissed off sometimes with this guy close friend of hers.

Hello dear love doctor,

can you site some of your experiences regarding 3rd parties or best friends scneario that threatens a relationship? i have a clkose guy friend in which i have been doing sweet things lately and my current boyfriend is so jealous that he orders me not to hang out with my best friend again.

i'll gladly listen to your explaination,

good day doc
love maris

Dear Maris, To answer that question of your regarding third parties and other members of the opposite sex which could be a potential hazard to our current love relationships, I will personally share you one of my experiences about it. Not that I only have one experienced about that situation, I do have a few, but I will only cite the most relevant one that will surely tackle our main concern for the day.

First I really don't believe in GIRL_BOY best friends or close friends relationships, why??? Simple because for me it is considered as a love relationship under control or in other words you both are semi-in love with each other. That's why the jealousy and insecurity of your other behalf regarding your so called "opposite sex" best friend or close friend.

Man and woman cannot be close friends at all. That is my definitive answer. Many times I am close with a girl, we either become kissing friends or any other physical type of attraction occurs. It's best that the closeness must not be that "close" anymore. Do you treat the same sex friends of yours like the opposite sex close friend of yours the same??? Most answers will be probably no. It's because these close/best friends of the opposite sex we have are just as special as the next lover that we may have.

So I guess you are keeping this guy around because you are attracted to him. My advice is if you really want to be happy with your relationship now it's best that you tell your close friend to slowly pull away before anything else developed into some weird and strange feelings.

Till next time the Love Doctor Signing out of the Love Clinic

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99 Top secret List that women should know about guys

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 06:28:00 +0900

99 SECRETS GIRLS HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT GUYS

1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. They prefer neat and *presentable girls.

* * * 2. Guys hate flirts.

* * * 3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.

* * * 4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not thinking the way he is.

* * * 5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have you eaten already?" are the first usual questions a guy asks on the phone just to get out from stammering.

* * * 6. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

* * * 7. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad characteristics.

* * * 8. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile.

* * * 9. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.

* * * 10. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend.

* * * 11. When guys want to meet your parents. Let them.

* * * 12. Guys want to tell you many things but they can't. And they sure have one *habit to gain courage and spirit to tell you many things and it is drinking!

* * * 13. Guys cry!!!

* * * 14. Don't provoke the guy to heat up. Believe me. He will.

* * * 15. Guys can never dream and hope too much.

* * * 16. Guys usually try hard to get the girl who has dumped them, and this makes it harder for them to accept their defeat.

* * * 17. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.

* * * 18. Giving a guy a hanging message like "You know what?!..uh...never mind!" *would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking.

* * * 19. Guys go crazy when girls touch their hands.

* * * 20. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

* * * 21. When a guy makes a prolonged "umm" or makes any excuses when you're asking him to do you a favor, he's actually saying that he doesn't like you and he can't lay down the card for you.

* * * 22. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."

* * * 23. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the message clearly.

* * * 24. Guys hate gays!

* * * 25. Guys love their moms.

* * * 26. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple of roses.

* * * 27. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't mean that the guy likes her.

* * * 28 You can never understand him unless you listen to him.

* * * 29. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does.

* * * 30. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of the earth faster than girls can.

* * * 31. Like Eve, girls are guys’ weaknesses.

* * * 32. Guys are very open about themselves.

* * * 33. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let him wait that long. *

* * 34. No guy is bad when he is courting

* * * 35. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.

* * * 36. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that much pretty.

* * * 37. Your best friend, whom your boyfriend seeks help from about his problems *with you may end up being admired by your boyfriend.

* * * 38. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to listen to him. You don't need to give advice.

* * * 39. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases you.

* * * 40. A guy finds ways to keep you off from linking with someone else.

* * * 41. Guys love girls with brains more than girls in miniskirts.

* * * 42. Guys try to find the stuffed toy a girl wants but would unluckily get the wrong one.

* * * 43. Guys virtually brag about anything.

* * * 44. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.

* * * 45. Guys think too much.

* * * 46. Guys' fantasies are unlimited.

* * * 47. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight does!

* * * 48. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too

* * * possessive. So watch out girls!!!

* * * 49. When a girl makes the boy suffer during courtship, it would be hard for him to let go of that girl.

* * * 50. It's not easy for a guy to let go of his girlfriend after they broke up * especially when they've been together for 3 years or more.

* * * 51. You have to tell a guy what you really want before getting involved with *that guy.

* * * 52. A guy has to experience rejection, because if he's

* * * too-good-never-been-busted, never been in love and hurt, he won't * be matured and grow up.

* * * 53. When an unlikable circumstance comes, guys blame themselves a lot more *than girls do. They could even hurt themselves physically.

* * * 54. Guys have strong passion to change but have weak will power.

* * * 55. Guys are tigers in their peer groups but become tamed pussycats with their *girlfriends.

* * * 56. When a guy pretends to be calm, check if he's sweating. You'll probably *see that he is nervous.

* * * 57. When a guy says he is going crazy about the girl. He really is.

* * * 58. When a guy asks you to leave him alone, he's just actually saying, "Please come and listen to me"

* * * 59. Guys don't really have final decisions.

* * * 60. When a guy loves you, bring out the best in him.

* * * 61. If a guy starts to talk seriously, listen to him.

* * * 62. If a guy has been kept shut or silent, say something.

* * * 63. Guys believe that there's no such thing as love at first sight, but court the girls anyway and then realize at the end that he is wrong.

* * * 64. Guys like femininity not feebleness.

* * * 65. Guys don't like girls who punch harder than they do.

* * * 66. A guy may instantly know if the girl likes him but can never be sure unless the girl tells him.

* * * 67. A guy would waste his time over video games and basketball, the way a girl *would do over her romance novels and make-ups.

* * * 68. Guys love girls who can cook or bake.

* * * 69. Guys like girls who are like their moms. No kidding!

* * * 70. A guy has more problems than you can see with your naked eyes.

* * * 71. A guy's friend knows everything about him. Use this to your advantage.

* * * 72. Don't be a snob. Guys may easily give up on the first sign of rejection.

* * * 73. Don't be biased. Try loving a guy without prejudice and you'll be surprised.

* * * 74. Girls who bathe in their eau de perfumes do more repelling than attracting * guys.

* * * 75. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is about *girls.

* * * 76. Guys don't comprehend the statement "Get lost" too well.

* * * 77. Guys really think that girls are strange and have unpredictable decisions but still love them more.

* * * 78. When a guy gives a crooked or pretentious grin at your jokes, he finds them offending and he just tried to be polite.

* * * 79. Guys don't care about how shiny their shoes are unlike girls.

* * * 80. Guys tend to generalize about girls but once they get to know them,they'll realize they're wrong.

* * * 81. Any guy can handle his problems all by his own. He's just too stubborn to deal with it.

* * * 82. Guys find it so objectionable when a girl swears.

* * * 83. Guys' weakest point is at the knee.

* * * 84. When a problem arises, a guy usually keeps himself cool but is already *thinking of a way out.

* * * 85. When a guy is conscious of his looks, it shows he is not good at fixing *things.

* * * 86. When a guy looks at you, either he's amazed of you or he's criticizing you.

* * * 87. When you catch him cheating on you and he asks for a second chance,

* * * give it to him. But when you catch him again and he asks for another chance, ignore him.

* * * 88. If a guy lets you go, he really loves you.

* * * 89. If you have a boyfriend, and your boy best friend always glances at you and it obviously shows that he is jealous whenever you're with your boyfriend, all I can say is your boy best friend loves you more than your boyfriend does.

* * * 90. Guys learn from experience not from the romance books that girls read and take as their basis of experience.

* * * 91. You can tell if a guy is really hurt or in pain when he cries in front of you!

* * * 92. If a guy suddenly asks you for a date, ask him first why.

* * * 93. When a guy says he can't sleep if he doesn't hear your voice even just for one night, hang up. He also tells that to another girl. He only flatters you and sometimes makes fun of you.

* * * 94. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him praying sometimes.

* * * 95. Guys seek for advice not from a guy but from a girl.

* * * 96. Girls are allowed to touch boys' things. Not their hair!

* * * 97. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.

* * * 98. Guys hate girls who overreact.

* * * 99. Guys love you more than you love them if they are serious in your relationships.

Links for Further interest:
Weird News Daily

Blonde Women May make Men Dumber

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 04:06:00 +0900

Men like to make jokes on the stereotype of the dumb blond women. And now, a French team has discovered that men's mental ability plummeted when dealing with blond women, probably as they thought they had a less intelligent interlocutor.

The study published in Journal of Experimental
Psychology consisted in two trials, both of them coming with the same results. Men in the study had to complete general knowledge tests while being exposed to women of various hair colors. The scores dropped in both trials when the subjects were presented images of blond women. Further investigations revealed that the subjects had been following unconscious social stereotypes.

"This proves that people confronted with stereotypes generally behave in line with them. In this case blonds have the potential to make people act in a dumber way, because they mimic the unconscious stereotype of the dumb blond," said co-author Thierry Meyer, professor of social psychology at the University of Paris X-Nanterre.

You know that everybody takes the delicate girl with a high-pitch as an innocent creature, when actually she curses all day long when the boss is not around. The same happens with all people we deal with: he/she must be that way because he/she looks like that, speaks like that. This study is another proof which underlines the theory that people’s behavior is powerfully dictated by stereotypes.

Hollywood especially started (at the middle of the 20th century) to boost the stereotype of the dumb blond bimbo through movies stars like Marilyn Monroe, Goldie Hawn and Pamela Anderson. And the trend has been refueled recently by celebrities like Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, and Jessica Simpson.

Most white babies are born blond, that's why some researchers suppose there is a basic connection between blond hair and infancy, and the tendency to regard blond woman as less mature. As men have the tendency to look for younger women, as these are at the climax of their fertile period, perhaps this also explains the sexual preference of men for blond women, which they could perceive as younger.

Links for Further interest:

DUMB CELEBRITIES OF THE WORLD

KAWAII GIRLS OF JAPAN

ASIAN GIRLS PICS DAILY!
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Reasons Why Men are Happier Than Women

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 06:41:00 +0900

35 Reasons Why Men Are Happier Then Women

1. We keep our last name.

2. The garage is all ours.

3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

4. Chocolate is just another snack.

5. We can be president.

6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

7. Car mechanics tell us the truth.

8. The world is our urinal.

9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

10. Same work, more pay.

11. Wrinkles add character.

12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.

13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.

14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.

16. One mood, ALL the time.

17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

18. We know stuff about tanks.

19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

20. We can open all our own jars.

21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.

23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

24. Everything on our face stays its original color.

25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

27. We almost never have strap problems in public.

28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.

29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.

30. We don't have to shave below our neck.

31. Our belly usually hides our big hips.

32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

33. We can "do" our nails with a pocket-knife.

34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.

Links for Further interest:
Weird News Daily

Sex at Work? Here's the TOP 10 PLACES where to do it

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 01:07:00 +0900

10 places to have sex at work

One in five people claim to have had sex in their office building. I did some asking around (and, of course, some looking on the internet) and discovered exactly where:

1. The boss's desk. Some surveys suggest that up to 25 per cent of people have bruised their spines - or someone else's - on their manager's table.

2. All 25 desks in your office. Don't think that you have the energy? Follow the example of this Australian woman.

3. Against a filing cabinet. It might be noisy and it's possible that at least one of you will end up with handle marks imprinted in your buttocks; on the other hand, a naked break-dancing civil servant might jump out of the cabinet mid-way through, making the whole escapade less private but potentially more exciting, if you like that sort of thing.

4. The editing suite. Apparently this is the preferred place for trysting TV types, being warm, dark and well-covered with CCTV cameras.

5. On the rooftop or a balcony. Outside, no one can hear you scream. On the other hand, unless you work in the tallest building in the vicinity, plenty of people can see what you're getting up to.

6. A sofa. Several people questioned in an informal Snakes & Ladders poll of people we thought might be quite naughty admitted bouncing on their boss's furniture after hours. One person suggested choosing leather over fabric where possible.

7. Somewhere there's food. Depending on where you work, this could be the canteen (mmm, gravy); the staffroom (particularly useful if you are dating a colleague although not recommended if you are also married to one); or the office tea-trolley. Really.

8. A disabled lavatory. More room than the average cubicle but still smells like a toilet.

9. The nurse's room. A lock, an examination table and even some wet wipes.

10. In the middle of an open-plan office. Go on. Be a devil. But do plan ahead; you'll need to think of something good to tell the recruitment agent the next morning when she wants to know why you left your last job.

Posted by Carly Chynoweth on November 7, 2007

Links for Further interest:
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OMGosh Beautiful Girl going into my Pad

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Wed, 7 Nov 2007 00:47:00 +0900

Hello dear readers of the Real Love Doctor's Blog, A long absence from the doctor eh?

not to worry even though I'm Busy I still replied to most of your emails dear fans.

and today the clinic once again opens from a dear guy who has a troubling yet funny love letter for us today. read on and be amazed at what is he up to now.

This is the Real Love Doctor coming in and helping out relationship problems.

The letter goes down bellow;

"ei mac,

long time no see in your clinic huh, love doctor lol.anyways i have read and followed some of the steps to date a girl from here, and this comming weekend a very beautiful and cute girl will be going into my place, what shall i do? i'm sacred as hell and i'm a newbie. any tips???

from,

decent guy but semi-kinky"

Hello there decent guy [but semi-kinky] I somewhat find that contradictingly funny, your name and all but first I would like to congratulate you on having a date and with a beautiful girl at that and straight into your pad. A big WOW for your achievement.

Now that you got the girl going to your place here's my advice and tip for you. This are the general 10 when having a woman in your house should be.

1. Since the girl agreed and trust you enough that she's even willing to spend time right there and then in your pad it's a good sign! Why? because she notices you and eventually started to like you and feel comfortable with you, so don't try to destroy that little established trust that you so faithfully earned.

2. Your going to spend a few hours with her so why not plan out what you want to do this week end now! It could either be a movie through top DVD's or a cooking spree and lot's of table talk.

3. If you prefer movies, then decide what to rent. girls are suckers for love related flicks or cute animal flicks. Just don't rent out animated stuffs or you will lose your manly appeal, also avoid slasher or teen bop flicks, they suck dude.

4. Prepare the place, set an atmosphere, clean it a little. Remember Grooming?

5. Put up and air freshener or something nice like scented candles.

6. unto your personality, don't be nervous be spontaneous enough and stay calm as much as possible.

7. Keep the lady entertain and when she allows it she might be touchy in a few hours or so and hugs will be there, but if it won't come don't force it. If you know your law, there is a term called rape.

8. Avoid long void silence, always talk, when watching a movie, comment in every nice scenes and tell stories.

9. Don't come into her too hard, you will regret it, be smooth and relax and she'll reply in a soft way.

10. Smile and act like the king of your place, this boost of confidence knowing you are in your territory will be sexy for the girl.

Well there you have it mate, enjoy the weekend and I hope you will be successful with this one, remember a happy relationships starts with communication and a lot of attention, so in the stage you are now I won't be surprised that anytime soon both you and this girl will be hitched.

Till next time, keep the letters pouring and enjoy the Real Love Doctor Clinic

Links for Further interest:
Weird News Daily

50 real reasons why women make love

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Tue, 30 Oct 2007 03:20:00 +0900

Top 50 Reasons Why Women Have Sex

This info from the Love Doctor's Clinic Will surely be at help to those who wants to uncover the secrets to why women want or have sex.....I hope this helps! Love Doctor is quiet Busy nowadays, but don't worry we will be in posting mode soon!

When drinking or drugging one has sex, uses sex and does sex for various OK or not so OK reasons.

Recovery from alcoholism/addiction increases sexuality and desire.

This list can help you decide why you had sex, and why you may have sex in the future. A key question is ‘Will the reason I’m having sex enhance my serenity - sobriety?’ Or, ‘Will I be disturbed by this action?’.

This study is very important to modern society. This is especially so since the sexual revolution opened peoples minds to a broader range of sexuality and sexual expression.

The study;

Historically, the reasons people have sex have been assumed to be few in number and simple in nature-

to reproduce,
to experience pleasure, or
to relieve sexual tension.

Several theoretical perspectives suggest that motives for engaging in sexual intercourse may be larger in number and psychologically complex in nature. Our first study used a procedure that identified 237 expressed reasons for having sex.

Here are the top 50 reasons women have sex;

I was attracted to the person
I wanted to experience the physical pleasure
It feels good
I wanted to show my affection to the person
I wanted to express my love for the person
I was sexually aroused and wanted the release
I was ‘‘horny’’
It’s fun
I realized I was in love
I was ‘‘in the heat of the moment’’
I wanted to please my partner
I desired emotional closeness (i.e., intimacy)
I wanted the pure pleasure
I wanted to achieve an orgasm
It’s exciting, adventurous
I wanted to feel connected to the person
The person’s physical appearance turned me on
It was a romantic setting
The person really desired me
The person made me feel sexy
The person caressed me
It seemed like the natural next step in my relationship
I wanted to become one with another person
It just happened
I wanted to increase the emotional bond by having sex
I wanted the experience
I wanted the adventure/excitement
The person had an attractive face
The person was a good kisser
I wanted to intensify my relationship
My hormones were out of control
I wanted to try out new sexual techniques or positions
I wanted to feel loved
The person had a desirable body
I wanted to celebrate a birthday or anniversary or special occasion
I wanted to communicate at a ‘‘deeper’’ level
I was curious about sex
It was a special occasion
The person was intelligent
I wanted to say ‘‘I’ve missed you’’
I wanted to keep my partner satisfied
I got ‘‘carried away’’
The opportunity presented itself
The person had a great sense of humor
I wanted to improve my sexual skills
I was curious about my sexual abilities
The person seemed self-confident
I wanted to make up after a fight
I was drunk
I was turned on by the sexual conversation

Links for Further interest:
Weird News Daily

How to Handle Guys Hitting on your Girl!

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Sat, 27 Oct 2007 01:13:00 +0900

5 ways to handle Guys hitting on your girl

by http://www.typepad.com/t/trackback/2170560/18660518

Handy Dandy tips I found which can be beneficial to the Real Love Doctors Clinic

If your are one of the many lucky men that has a girlfriend or wife that attracts a lot of attention from your male peers, you know how annoying those peers can be. Especially when you leave to go to the bathroom or she leaves your immediate side, these guys swarm in like bees to honey. For some guys this represents reason to stay out the bar or club scene with you girl but there are ways to handle these situations and have a little fun in the process. The most important thing is never let this rattle you, despite your possible insecurities always keep your cool as odds are she came with you and she is leaving with you and if not you're better off without her.

1. Let's say a guy is at the bar attempting to buy her a drink, if she is a respectable girlfriend she will not accept his offer. Just hang back a second while he gets rejected, then move in on your girl opposite side and pretend you don't know her, tell her how beautiful she is and offer to buy her a drink. She of course will accept and the heckler on the other side should slump off in defeat.

2. This same application can be used when a guy asks you lady to dance, again she will reject him and again you swoop in as if you don't know her and grab her hand and ask her if she wants to dance. Again you win and the heckler has lost, as if he ever had a chance of winning. This too is fun and can be quite erotic if you spice up your approach a little.

3. A bold move is to wait until a guy is trying to pick up your girl and then politely stroll up and say excuse me to both of them and say, young lady you are so beautiful that I had to just come over and see what you taste like, followed immediately by passionately kissing her deeply. She won't resist, and if she does you two got problems. Again the picker upper is defeated and this type of role play is the type of gift that can keep on giving.

4. A smooth move while at the bar, is to position yourself at the end of the bar then send the bartender over to your girl with a drink, while the guy trying to pick her up is talking. The bartender will give her the drink and say compliments of the gentleman at the end of the bar and he would like you to join him. Again, she won't resist and the picker upper will be stunned by the move. This is for those who want to avoid close contact with the heckler, but be careful with this one as it may backfire if your are to far away or if your lady has poor eyesight.

5. A final crushing maneuver is to walk while the guy is trying to pick up your girl and say excuse me, I have been thinking about you all night long, let dip outta here back to my place. She won't resist and you don't have to leave right away, but for any would be pick up artist this is a severe ego blow.

These are just a few of my tactics, each of which can modified and spiced up, the main thing is to be bold and smooth, women love the role play and the confidence. If you are too busy worrying about what this guy might do if attempt one of these moves then it is probably best you stay home until you build up some gonads. In addition, having a woman that is desirable to other men is a good thing, trust me.

Tactics may not apply to women pick up artists, again if your woman is desirable to men and women this too is a good thing!!!

Links for Further interest:
Weird News Daily

Lately i learned that her family is planning to marry her to a guy with their same race

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Sat, 13 Oct 2007 04:46:00 +0900

Good day everyone,

Another segment for the Real love doctor on real love,life and relationships 101. Today I will focus my time on someone who calls himself ZERO. He got this big problem on his love life and things are looking pretty bleak as of late. let's read as the love clinic opens once again

"

Dear Love Doctor,

I like this girl, and we have been dating for such a long time now. Lately i learned that her family is planning to marry her to a guy with their same race, i know i might be out of place and all but the girl confides to me that she won't marry off with the guy, help me i'm confuse.

confuse, zero

"

The issue of racism and closely tied family friends circle has haunted people for generations and generations more to come. If the girls family has somehow made up their mind to have their daughter wed to the guy of their choice, then you my poor guy have a little thing to do left. I am not telling you to forcibly ran away with the girl as that will just worsen things, but in my experienced, that is probably the closest thing you can ever do to a hell bent parents of such close minded culture.

For one if we try and go by the books, I will simply say to you, okay go their house, present yourself and show them how you can be the fitting man for their daughter by simply selling out the best in you! And back this up by being the real man that you claimed to be. But that is simply not the case, as I say drastic times requires drastic measures.

I think you need to do the latter thing I suggested....

Till then as busy as always, the Real Love Doctor's Clinic is still open for your letters! Good day, Love doctor out

Links for Further interest:
Weird News Daily

Chris Rock on Relationships LOL

noreply@blogger.com (Dr.COOLmac NO P.H.D) — Sun, 7 Oct 2007 01:55:00 +0900

Links for Further interest:
Weird News Daily

The Real Love Doctor on Relationships, Love and Life 101

Love Doctor advice - going through a break up

Teens problems on Love and relationships - solved by the Love Doctor

Can a Man and a Woman stay friends?

Real Love - How to date When You still Live With Your Parents

My Husband is not Sexy anymore - my husband bores me to death

His Turn

The Counselor's Turn

Good Mood Diet that works - for a healthy well being

ReLaTiOnShIp 101

Love, Love and More Love

The Real Love Doctor Talks about planning your Valentine Date

How to effectively write a love letter to a Woman and a Man

How to effectively write a love letter to a Woman and a Man

Introduction

Instructions

Things You'll Need

Steps

Step One

Step Two

Step Three

Step Four

Step Five

Step Six

Step Seven

Step Eight

Overall Tips & Warnings

How to effectively write a love letter to a Man

Introduction

Instructions

Things You'll Need

Steps

Step One

Step Two

Step Three

Step Four

Overall Tips & Warnings

How to Properly Prepare for a Date [ yeah for noobs and virgins ] VERY EFFECTIVE TECHNIQUE

50 THINGS GUYS NEED TO KNOW ABOUT GIRLS

How to Properly french kiss someone

Introduction To the ART OF FRENCH KISSING

Instructions

Things You'll Need

Steps

Step One

Step Two

Step Three

Step Four

Step Five

Step Six

Step Seven

Step Eight

Step Nine

Step Ten

Tips & Warnings

Why do guys give girls sexy expressions? Answered By the Real love Doctor

Simple Relationship tips for men

Best Friend Close Friend causing Love rifts to Lovers

99 Top secret List that women should know about guys

Blonde Women May make Men Dumber

Reasons Why Men are Happier Than Women

35 Reasons Why Men Are Happier Then Women

Sex at Work? Here's the TOP 10 PLACES where to do it

OMGosh Beautiful Girl going into my Pad

50 real reasons why women make love

How to Handle Guys Hitting on your Girl!

5 ways to handle Guys hitting on your girl

Lately i learned that her family is planning to marry her to a guy with their same race

Chris Rock on Relationships LOL