The Real Romeo and Juliet

Patience...or lack thereof

2012-01-29T17:50:00.001-08:00

My lack of patience even surprise me sometimes. Many people can lose patience here and there, but in one month I can see how little patience I have that I feel it is worth describing...because it needs to be fixed...fast.

A quick example is this evening. Dev and I are taking an exam to become certified by NYS food protection. It requires several online quizzes to be taken before the actual sit-down exam and these quizzes have mini lectures attached to them. I was going crazy waiting the fifteen minutes required before taking each quiz and rather than do something valuable with my time while waiting if I finished reading before fifteen minutes, I decided to sit and keep pressing "Take quiz" while the time updated. You would think at 10 minutes, 49 seconds that I would be smart enough to know if I click right away, it still wouldn't let me take the quiz. Nope. For me, pure frustration.

A second, more important example of my lack of patience is what I will now call, "that baby I desperately want." I watched a Lifetime movie tonight called "The Pregnancy Project" where they say the easiest thing to do is get pregnant and the hardest thing to do is raise it. There are tons of television shows documenting teen pregnancy and more magazine articles than I can handle telling of the latest celebrity to get pregnant with her ex-boyfriend. I don't want to sound too dramatic, but I cannot help but say it is not as easy as people say!! We tried for one month and the resulted with no pregnancy. What did happen is I cried (a lot) and I learned that this will take more than one month and more patience than I encompass right now. When I became a google neurotic person of topics like "two lines" and "how many symptoms do you need to have" and "when is the earliest to test" I realized how many women have been trying for so long to get pregnant and how much patience you need for this process, because it can be a long one.

I know I am slowly improving because tonight when I passed the pregnancy test in the store, I stopped and walked right past it knowing I will only cause myself more anxiety (and money). I do have to say waiting for those two lines were more daunting than any exam I have ever experienced.

I also realized how badly I want a baby with Dev and that no age or timing of school or job could change that now. I never thought I could be so disappointed in only one month, but I was. I need to do much better at putting things in perspective without getting so emotional and I need to become patient.

After all, I do find out where I go for residency tomorrow, which means I should be sleeping. I said I was slowly improving, but I will probably be awake for most of the night.

Juliet

Study, study

2012-01-19T20:57:00.000-08:00

With the second part of my boards exam tomorrow and only 15% battery remaining on my computer, I thought it would be a good time to quickly update!

I feel as though I will finally have the time to do all of the things I planned this year once this exam is over...which really means my "new year" starts tomorrow at 3:00 pm (that is if I pass it). So, with all of the little stickie notes on my desktop, you would think I have a lot to talk about.

My short term plans are to get the wedding album done (I'm closing in on one year with no album, cheers) and plan a trip for my mom and me to go to China. It was a birthday gift from Dev and I and I am excited to visit somewhere new with her.

I have re-watched half of the series of "The Office" while studying for my exam because I no longer study without distraction and my attention span is 20 minutes. One of the characters just described that when she is bored she makes impulsive decisions in her life. I am afraid of doing that when I border on going insane at school. Instead, I decided to turn that into something productive. I will probably start within the next month or two a new blog that focuses on oral health for women and children since that is what I plan to do following school.

Absolutely no news on the baby front. All I can say is I thought it would be a breeze to get pregnant. Nope! That is okay because I am completely obsessed with my munchkin niece who just turned one month today!

I have all of these goals....and then I see that face and all I can think is I want that! In order to have that and be able to feed, clothe, and house a child, I should probably study (or sleep) so I can become a dentist.

Juliet

Bad at math

2012-01-09T14:49:00.000-08:00

I may be a soon-to-be dentist, but that does not mean I can add, subtract, multiply or do any type of math well. I was really good up until calculus II and then I was lost forever. It is no secret of my baby fever, so when I am trying to figure out ovulation cycles and WedMD is telling me a riddle to figure it out, it does not make me happy.

How can I know that "First day of previous menstrual period" and "Beginning of Last Menstrual period mean two different things?"

This blog will probably become too graphic soon. But, then again, who cares when at the end of this crazy process you see a face like this?

Juliet

Hmmm

2011-12-31T13:32:00.000-08:00

2010: Engagement

2011: Wedding x 2

2012:

Happy New Years!

Juliet

Last year

2011-12-24T14:30:00.000-08:00

Just about this time last year we were in complete wedding mode. Here we are at a cousin's wedding during the 2010 blizzard! The entire family was planning for our three day affair and preparing for what would be one of the best days of our lives. It is hard to see, but this wedding was absolutely gorgeous and I just remember thinking I hope ours is just as amazing. 2011 flew by so quickly - wedding festivities, the actual weddings, the honeymoon - all were incredible and I can honestly say it was the best year of my life. One of the reasons our wedding was so special was because the week before Dev's mom and sister called us while we were driving and told us she was pregnant. Knowing that our family was going to grow made my heart swell.

She is only five days old and I am in love with her. I don't believe in love at first sight, but I think she totally changed my mind.

Call me auntie!

2011-12-21T20:06:00.000-08:00

Finally, finally, finally!!! We are officially an auntie and uncle! I can honestly say this was such a long pregnancy and it was not even mine. My sister-in-law says it is because we found out so early (about 4-6 weeks into pregnancy), which is why it seems as if it has been a year.

She came five days late and she came into this world when she was ready at 7 pounds 1 ounce and 20 inches. Her name is Anyah and I am head over heals in love with her.

I have dozens of photos of her, but I am having camera issues, so here is one of her first photos.

Anyah's mommy went into labor late Sunday night and we rushed to the hospital. We are clueless because first time mommies can be in labor for hours and hours. We came back to the hospital in the early morning and at a perfect timing because it took under an hour for her to arrive. I think I am the only one in the family who wanted to stay in the room and watch the birth. My brother-in-law stayed close behind the curtain because he did not want to witness all that comes with birth, but I think it is all beautiful. It is not even my child and I thought it was the most beautiful thing to watch her enter this world. I told my friend that after witnessing it, I think it is "totally doable" even though I have yet to experience anything close to labor pains. Silly me, I will likely eat my words.

I think it is amazing how much a newborn can change over a few days. People say she will change so much within the next month. After meeting my pretty little niece, I can honestly say I am even more ready to have a baby in 2012.

Love,
Juliet

Me and my grilled cheese friend

2011-12-04T14:23:00.000-08:00

Thank you Diana for sending me this totally inspirational blog Penelope Trunk Blog. It is not only addicting to read, but will certainly entertain me and procrastinate my studying for boards in the upcoming months. I already read the two entries about soul searching and career choices. Definitely worth a read if you are as conflicted about your career choices as we are.

Diana and I have been friends for over 10 years! That is a lot of years for 25 year-old girls who move around and change friendships during their twenties. I am calling her my grilled cheese friend because that is basically where our friendship began. I drove her home from school. She made me grilled cheese.

Since high school we have changed...but only a little. She is getting a PhD in Biology and I am pursuing dentistry. Sure, we have different hobbies and groups of friends now. Diana is a food junkie and loves fashion, but she still loves me despite knowing I am obsessed with babies. One of the most common things we share as best friends right now is still figuring out what we what to do with our degrees. We are intelligent, sassy, and curious, and yet, I think we both have no idea what to do career-wise. I personally felt more confident at 18 or 21; I was organized and I determined to become a dentist. Now I have motivation, but not in the same way I did four years ago. I want to start a family and I want a career that I will love, but more than that I want to be successful. Am I asking for too much and it's not even the holidays or my birthday yet? Diana would have to guest post to describe her feelings (hint, hint).

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I had to go back to the Penelope Trunk Blog just to remind myself that I cannot be someone else or have someone else's exact career despite how clever or relatable it is to me. But, that is the exact challenge I have felt for several months.

Can I convince myself that fixing someone's teeth will make a difference? Probably not. That is when I start to throw around the idea of consulting and I drive Dev nuts because he knows that I don't know what that entails!

Back to my grilled cheese friend, Diana! I thought of writing this when I saw a post on Penelope Trunk about how co-workers can change your life. I don't have any co-workers right now and most of my classmates simply drive me insane, so I thought of someone that makes my life better and I instantly thought of Diana. A week earlier, I wrote how my friends constantly motivate me to pursue new interests and she is certainly one of those people. She is always exploring new things and how to better herself. She makes me think outside the box and keeps me on my feet. She is also pretty damn good at making grilled cheese and bakes like no other!

So, thank you Diana for not only being my best friend, but for always inspiring me, even by just sending me fun blogs to read.

I had a portrait photo chosen, but this one was just so much more perfect

Love,

Juliet

Anxious!

2011-11-27T20:18:00.000-08:00

When I saw my sister-in-law called today, I was anticipating her to say that she was in labor and before even picking up the phone, I became all nervous thinking that I did not have my camera and I didn't know of a near-by florist. I instantly realized my thoughts were insane, but I was grateful she was not in labor yet. After all, I was not prepared! Maybe I need an overnight bag too? Maybe not.

While I am obviously over excited for us to be a first time aunt and uncle, I am even more excited to see how our niece will be raised. Since my sister-in-law is Sikh and my brother-in-law is Muslim, it is a great opportunity to see how they blend their traditions and create new ones. I have asked her in the past about her feelings of raising the baby in one or more faiths, but it is really a personal decision for each family. Some people, like myself, try to plan to a tee and others prefer to plan as needed. With raising children in an interfaith family, I feel that is necessary at minimum to have a discussion with your significant other about their feelings. With all of our planning, I am positive there are situations we cannot even predict, which is why I am even more interested to see how my sister-in-law tends with these issues. Since she is a more "go with the flow" type of person, she definitely has a good impact on me.

I just finished watching this week's episode of All American Muslim on TLC and there is a couple featured on the show where the newlywed husband converted from Christianity to Islam. There was debate whether he did it for his wife or for himself, but regardless of the reason, it was important to him and his family to raise their children in one faith. In my relationship, there was never a conversation of conversion, simply because I am and always will consider myself Jewish and the same with Sikhism for Dev. In our family, we consider our household both Jewish and Sikh with neither dominating, but for other families this would not be possible.

This subject of pre-planning an interfaith family made me really want to write another article for Interfaith Family. Hopefully, I can finish before the New Year!

The next time I post, I will hopefully be holding a newborn baby!

Love & anticipation to be a chachi!

Juliet

Reaching a goal

2011-11-15T14:54:00.000-08:00

Not too long ago, I decided to make some fun headbands for my soon-to-be niece (< 3 weeks to go!) and I soon ended up with 200+ hair accessories. Can you imagine if the doctors misread the sonogram and my sister-in-law had a boy? That would be interesting. Fortunately, we know for sure it is a girl!

Obviously, my niece is not going to need hundreds of hair accessories - even if I think it is necessary. So, I decided to become a vendor for a day to sell my fun hair creations. I got lots of good feedback from other vendors from the show and it was certainly an interesting experience for me because I have absolutely no business experience. My family and Dev's family promised to buy some if no one else did, but fortunately I did sell several of them. I now set up a Facebook page for them and my real goal is to raise money for a charity or fundraiser. So, that is where I am with my mini business adventure.

I am most proud that I actually created and sold some of these hair accessories because there are so many times that I want to get involved with a sport, craft or new hobby and I do nothing about it. Some of my closest friends have also recently succeeded in getting involved with a hobby outside of school/work and I think it is almost a sub-conscience support system - one is taking a hebrew class and one is starting to train for a marathon!

Love,
Juliet

Mmmm, Everyone Loves Bialys!

2011-11-06T07:17:00.000-08:00

Check out the article here: http://www.cnn.com/2011/11/04/world/new-york-muslim-kosher-bakery/index.html

Boo!

2011-10-30T20:12:00.001-07:00

Happy Halloween!
(We're mobsters!)

When things don't go your way

2011-10-30T20:11:00.000-07:00

I would consider myself a planner, that's at least what I have been told. What I mean by this is that I try to plan day-by-day activities and I make so many mental to-do notes, it would fill binders. But, what I plan the most is my (our) future, which is at times very unrealistic.

When I was in college, I tried to plan how our relationship would play out and when I look at our current life, I could never imagine it to be this way. Happy. Little stress. Comical. It is way better than I ever could have imagined.

Also while in college, I had career goals and a plan of what would happen. Get accepted to graduate school, finally pass all exams and classes, apply to residency, etc. Following the wedding, I had a very specific timeline of taking a board exam, getting into residency, getting pregnant, and more. Well, after a more than horrible week at school, most of this will be changed around and in my life changing major life plans is like a hurricane. I am not taking the exam when I expected I to, I do not expect my residency plans will work out, and I know that getting pregnant is not like snapping your fingers and can take months or be unexpected.

If six months to two years of my plans are not to go my way, it literally shakes my little world and although I am aware of it, I start to think very egocentrically. It usually takes me a few days (or a week) to calm down and shake the selfish feelings of thinking everything should go my way.

I know that everything happens for a reason - even really bad weeks at school or not getting into a program I may want. I also always give this advice when others may be down, so I should own it and take my own advice.

Hmph!
:0)
Juliet

Our type of holiday

2011-10-26T19:23:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, we went to a beautiful Diwali party hosted by Dev's cousins. It is also their first Diwali and it was really beautiful to celebrate the occasion with them.

I am not too sure of what most Indian people do (in the US) on Diwali besides go to temple and/or have a party. In my family, most holidays revolve around food and family (even if we are screaming at each other).

Since this is Dev's and my first Diwali, all I wanted to do was have a nice family dinner. Everyone in his immediate family agreed, but earlier this afternoon, Dev mentioned he was exhausted from waking up so early, his mom was tired, and his sister was exhausted from pregnancy. These are all verified reasons to cancel a dinner, but not tonight. This is our first Diwali and this is the last one before our family grows.
Plus, I think it is really important that we start now by establishing family traditions and in the future showing both my sister-in-law's children and our children that they are part Sikh. If we slack on a holiday because only one of us celebrates or observes, then we will be cheating them.

Anyways, dinner was quickly back on and it was everything I would want it to be whether it was Diwali, Eid, or Rosh Hashanah. On Diwali, we brought in amazing Afghani food and Tiramisu cake and tea for dessert. Not quite the typical for most Indian families, but this was perfect for us. We chatted and laughed and despite how tired we all were, it was exactly how I would want to celebrate every holiday with my family.

Happy Diwali to all!
Juliet

Happy Diwali

2011-10-22T14:18:00.000-07:00

Our first married Diwali! Lots of food, chocolate, dancing, and happy times! Best wishes to all!

Love,
Juliet

6 month itch

2011-10-20T20:45:00.000-07:00

Wow! Time flies!

Dev and I have been quite busy with work/school that I don't think we even realized we have been married for half a year already! He was sweet to remember the day of and picked me up from school having flowers and the new Adele CD. This is sort of ironic because our very first "month" anniversary, I think he made me a mixed CD of my favorite songs. I hope we are still as romantic in years to come despite busy schedules with work, kids, etc. I used to be addicted to post-its (I have lost my obsession during dental school) and I think that I would be excited to even see a post-it wishing me happy anniversary as we both scurry out the door in ten years.

Nothing else has changed - which is the main reason for my lack of blogging. I am getting closer to becoming a dentist and I am back to having baby fever, which I really thought I lost during the summer. This is probably due to my sister-in-law's recent baby shower and her beautiful, big belly. But, I have decided to wait until I go crazy with the reading and websites until after this big exam I have coming up. My also-baby-feverish-girlfriend recently sent me a website from The Bump that she spent hours on. I kindly moved the link to a special folder for a later time. I am glad for that self control or I would be hooked.

Post (x100) wedding news: I started, but then stopped planning our wedding album. I think I am burnt out of looking through all of the photos and when I am told to pick 25-50 out of 1000, I get antsy. So, six months later and we still have no album yet.

We have a Diwali party to go to tomorrow night, so I will definitely take and post photos. I basically just want to show how beautiful my sister-in-law looks at 7 months pregnant in an Indian suit.

Happy Friday!
Juliet

Happy New Year (#1)

2011-09-29T19:54:00.000-07:00

This year, our family will celebrate three New Years: Rosh Hashanah, Diwali, and January 1.

One down, two to go.

Rosh Hashanah came and went...at least for my family and me. For those that don't know about Rosh Hashanah, I think you can already tell what it is from the title. Or you can say: L'shana tova!

I am sure I learned about the holiday in hebrew school (but that was 15 years ago). I really, really thought I would do some research into the holiday, but that did not happen. For me, knowing it is the Jewish New Year and wishing happiness and health to family and friends was good enough for me. My mom made matzoh ball soup, challah, gelite fish - all the Jew foods I enjoy during holidays, so I felt content. Well, partially. In some ways I feel guilty for not knowing more, but I suppose if I truly wanted to learn, I would just look it up or speak to someone who is more familiar with the holiday than me.

Yom Kippur is coming up soon and it is considered the most holy Jewish holiday. I am making it a goal right now to do a little bit of research this year.

Diwali is coming up as well in a couple of weeks, so I will also attempt the above. I think I have a cool art project to do for that holiday.

For Rosh Hashanah night #2, we had night #1 left overs. That's what I call a good Jewish family :0)

Happy New Year until Diwali!
Juliet

Pretty little things

2011-09-27T20:18:00.000-07:00

I haven't been writing too much recently, but I have been keeping busy with school. I think I will have some good posts in the upcoming weeks due to Rosh Hashanah, the baby shower, Diwali, and more fall festivities.

The point of this entry is to show some what I have been doing when I should be studying for my final boards exam. One of my favorite things to do as a child was draw or do crafts and even if it did not come out as I imagined, I still enjoyed playing with paints, clay, pencils, etc.

As I have been excessively shopping for my new niece, I have noticed how expensive the beautiful baby hats and headbands are. So, I decided to DIY and I purchased a newborn cap and big flower. Made it extra glittery, glued it on and poof, I had a $20 newborn cap for less than $5. Stuff like that makes me really happy. {No picture :0( }

Well, my niece cannot have only one hat/headband.......so I kinda went overboard.

This is only half. Okay, not all will be for my niece. I decided to sign up for a crafts fair this fall and sell some of them, although I think I am attached to several and I wish I had a little girl to dress up.

When I make enough bands and money, I would really love to donate both to a childrens' foundation for kids who lose their hair during cancer treatment.

For most, I hand glued layer by layer of flower and I need to get some fancier crystal studs for the center. Then, I found fake feathers. I really, really like walking around our local crafts store. Almost as much as shopping for clothes.

So, this is all started because of a baby hat. And now I have about 35 headbands done! Dev is wondering which is more profitable at this point - dentistry or my headband business.

Cheers!
Juliet

Baby, baby

2011-09-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

After our wedding and honeymoon, I realized that life is just oh so different outside of wedding planning. Besides our album, which I have successfully procrastinated, our thank you cards are done and we have washed our hands of any resemblance of wedding planning in our home. Recently, when shopping for my SIL's baby shower, we passed the bridal aisle and for just a split second I realized and missed that I would never, ever buy another napkin or t-shirt screaming "bridal" again. Key words: split second.

I have come to realize that baby shower planning is not easy either. First, my SIL is having an October-BBQ-Diwali-Babyshower celebration. It is completely bizarre, but so wonderful because after that I feel that the baby will just appear any day after the shower (although she won't be here until December). My closets are stocked with newborn clothing and bows and baby socks. But, here is the second part of the scary baby shower planning. Going to these baby focused stores (Babies R' Us, BuyBuyBaby, etc), it is completely overwhelming inside these baby factory warehouses. My mom said I was overreacting, but she hasn't picked out a carseat among 500 carseats in eighteen years. I am pretty sure that I took two advil after we did the first round of her registry list.

Just wait until Dev and I are pregnant and I write for an entire week on convertible carseat-stroller-carriers. I honestly think some of these convertible baby equipment is more complicated than pulling a tooth out. No joke.

In other news, Dev's grandmother just moved back to Thailand permanently. Unbelievable and incredible that she will be a great-grandmother soon. I am so happy that I got a picture of her, my MIL, and my SIL before she left. There are only three people here, but there really four generations in this photo.

I have always thought my SIL is beautiful, but I think that she is stunning while pregnant. She is a natural beauty and I know that her daughter will have her spirits and good looks.

One more family photo before Nani left for Thailand. 3 more months until that empty chair is filled and our family continues to grow.

Juliet

Sweet memories

2011-09-14T21:37:00.000-07:00

Tonight, Dev and some of his friends supported my class for a fundraiser at a local bar, The Bench. The Bench is one of those "local" bars that mainly "townies" go to and in this case, it is one of the only bars in walking distance from our college campus. For me, it was the first bar I ever went to at 18 years-old and strangely enough, tonight brought back some important memories for me.

A few months after I met Dev in college, my girl friends decided to go out to The Bench one night. I knew I was getting really sick, but I still wanted to go. I got dressed up, walked over to the bar with my friends and then I heard the booming music coming from inside and I knew there was no way I could go in. My roommate found Dev waiting online to go inside the bar and he was just at the front of the line when she asked if he could drive me home because I was sick. The same gentleman he was and is today, he got off line and dropped us off at our dorm. I kissed my hand and put it on his shoulder as a thank you.

Shortly after, we started to date. In six years we have been to too many places to remember, but this is one of those memories that never fades. Tonight, even though the bar looks completely different, brought back memories to when we first knew each other. Bitter sweet too. It gets me all emotional to have been so naive to know what we would become and how long ago that was, but feels so special to have that memory still embedded in my head. It also reminds me of my friends and how sweet it was to be eighteen.

Juliet

One (really) big, happy family

2011-09-11T19:45:00.000-07:00

I have no first cousins. None. My mom is an only child and my dad's only brother has no children. Dev has at least a dozen first cousins and with that comes aunts, uncles, and more distant cousins. Growing up, I always wanted to have cousins to play with at holidays and family get-togethers and I am lucky that my two brothers and I had close family friends with two children whom we considered family. In fact, one of those children became one of my bridesmaids at our wedding because she is like a cousin to me.

Well, that cliche saying "you get what you wish for" came true. Marrying Dev, I gained so many new family members and some new traditions with these new additions. Growing up in a small, Jewish family it was just us and a few close family members. In Dev's family, there is family, extended family, extended-extended family, and then possibly a third tier of extended-extended-extended family.

At our wedding, we had his cousin's wife's/husband's parents/siblings there. If someone were to tell me something like this a few years ago, I would have said no way. I have learned that this is how Indian families and parties work. And now I am part of it. This weekend we attended Dev's cousin's son's first birthday. He is absolutely adorable and I thought it would be only family and close friends, but it turned out to be about 200+ people to celebrate the birthday. My parents were not there, which I thought was completely normal and appropriate, (because then they would be attending their son-in-law's first cousin's son's first birthday) but I soon learned I was wrong. Dev's aunt and cousins apologized to me for not inviting my parents. Apology accepted!

Nope. Apology not accepted just yet. Tonight, Dev's uncle called him and asked for my parent's phone number to apologize for not inviting them to their grandson's birthday party. Sorry, I needed that to be emphasized. My first thought was "What?! Why?! No!" Well, I was going to lose so after giving them the number, I quickly called my mom to explain the phone call she would soon receive. To my surprise, she did not mind and told me when we got married, my sister-in-law explained to her she would be invited to several family functions. My mom's funny attitude to this and my shocked reaction really shows me that my family and I are now part of this giant, multi-cultured family. I am still convinced that we will only be inviting family to our family functions in the future, but I could be wrong; it will likely turn into an extended-extended family and friend function. It's always fun, interesting, and just what I always wanted: one big, happy family.

Juliet

Never Forget 9/11

2011-09-11T06:08:00.001-07:00

New Traditions

2011-09-05T19:17:00.000-07:00

Throughout our relationship, Dev and I have blended our families and developed some new family traditions that we will hopefully continue when we start a family. This year we get to celebrate our first married Diwali, Rosh Hashanah, etc. and decide how to make these holidays meaningful for us. Since we are not very religious and it will be more about culture and family get togethers, I think it is going to be an exciting time for us.

There are certain traditions I already know we will pass on to our children. For Jewish observation, the lighting of the Hanukkah candles, Passover dinner, and lighting of yahrzeit candles are a few important traditions to me. For Sikh observation we will celebrate Diwali and use the traditional middle names Kaur and/or Singh. It is harder for me to incorporate certain Sikh traditions since Dev is not religious, but there are two new traditions I recently learned about that I think will be fun to pass on.

In his family, when a couple gets married, aunts and uncles host the newlyweds and family in their home for dinner and give a gift to welcome the couple as "married." We obviously won't be hosting too many married couples in his family for quite some time considering we are among the youngest of cousins, but I think it is a fun tradition they follow.

Another tradition that may not be so far off is visiting the Gurdwara for blessings on a child's birthday. Dev's cousin turned one today and the family is going to the temple - I initially thought this was a one-year old birthday tradition, but I found out it could be for any birthday. For some reason, I really like the idea of visiting the Gurdwara on the first birthday because of how symbolic a first birthday is.

I probably think about some of these issues more than most people, but I truly feel that it is important to represent both cultures in our home. When one dominates, one family may feel excluded or the child may feel as if they don't belong to both communities. For me, I want more than anything for our children to respect and understand both cultures, to be comfortable with both, and when someone makes the presumption that our children are "half" a culture, for them to easily correct them as if they pronounced our name wrong.

Juliet

In a slump

2011-08-25T18:03:00.000-07:00

I am not sure why I decided to title this entry "in a slump" but I think it is partly because when I think of that word, it brings back some childhood memories. Not the type of slump that indicates depression or recession, but a fenced off area next to a park that kids played at down my block. That's what the kids called it, the slump. We (illegally) climbed the fence and in the winters we would slide down the hills and in the summers we played tag.

That was the childhood type of slump.

The adult type of slump rather implies to sink or fall or to be caused by depression.

Now this is quite the exaggeration, but I feel that my blogging has been sluggish and I feel as though I am in a slump with it (if that even makes sense). When I initially started this blog it was intended to be therapeutic, but in the past year it has become more of a documentary of all that Dev and I have become and our wedding planning/day. At this point, I feel as though I don't have much to say or question - our relationship is great and I never really intended to create a blog that simply updates our daily activities.

When I recently told Dev I think I am going to close down the blog and start another (unrelated to intercultural relationships, especially our own) I think he was disappointed because he is one of my most popular readers! I said that we don't have much to write about, nothing exciting is going on in our lives at this point, etc. He reminded me that we actually do have some fun things going on: in three months we will be a first time auntie and uncle, Dev is changing jobs and moving onto his family business, I graduate in less than one year and become a dentist, we're going to try for a baby next year.

Hmm. We do have some fun things going on, but none that I feel relate to the original idea of this blog theme. So I have some deciding to do. It is more likely that I will end this blog after Diwali or Hanukkah this year just so I can document our first holidays together as a married couple.

For us, I have learned throughout our engagement and new marriage that our relationship really is not based on this intercultural or interfaith factor. It is just two compatible people who also happen to be in love and want to spend their lives together. It may just be coincidental for us that our family is composed of a few different backgrounds.

Juliet

Progressive? Secular? Orthodox? Or just...?

2011-08-12T11:05:00.000-07:00

I was recently filling out some forms for Interfaithfamily.com and they asked me to define what type of Jewish person I was. Without much thought put into it, I clicked reform. That is when I noticed that there were not just the few categories of what I knew Jewish people to be - reform, conservative, orthodox, secular - but many, many more. I immediately called my best Jewish friend and we both laughed at how we needed a dictionary to figure out what we could be labeled. She told me she also recently had to figure out her "title" and one website even said you could pick more than one. At this point I wasn't sure if I wanted to read more to become informed or run for my life that there could be so many definitions and labels of one background.

(Click to enlarge)

I nearly clicked "Not sure" but ended up clicking Jewish-reform and Just Jewish.

Despite how exhausted I was looking at these choices, it is not the first time I have seen questionnaires or quizzes that attempt to analyze one's identity and beliefs. It does not limit itself to only Jewish backgrounds, but many more I found.

On Beliefnet.com, there is a quiz that analyzes what type of Muslim one is. I was disappointed that there were no comments because I was curious to see if those who took the quiz could identify with one or more of the categories.

I think this ties back to one of my first entries on how people (Americans especially) need to define and make little boxes for everything. And as much as I would like to think that most people, particularly in NY, are progressive and more liberal since gay rights are finally acknowledged and a plethora of intercultural families exist, it just seems to me that there will be even more boxes to check off defining one's religious/ethnicity affiliation(s). Maybe someone will just make an iPhone app. to define every sub-section of every religion and ethnicity to make our lives more simple?

Juliet

Honeymooners

2011-08-09T20:41:00.000-07:00

We just got back from Hawaii and we had a really great time! I will repeat saying that it is a great thing we took a break after the wedding before the honeymoon because it is exhausting!! As soon as you fly over the islands, this is your view.

We stayed on Honolulu and spent one day in Maui. Many claim Maui is the most beautiful island in the world and now I understand why. Look at this!

We also spent some time in Kualoa Ranch where we drove four wheelers along the coast and saw movie sites filmed there like Jurassic Park and Lost.

No matter what angle of the island we visited it was gorgeous. I could not believe how many people who told us they recently moved there to stay permanently. I would totally consider that if it didn't depend on family/work, but I don't think Hawaiians could deal with Dev's or my driving. One of the drivers told us that no one is in a rush there and if someone cuts you off, they probably had to be there quicker than you did. Umm. I barely got off the plane in NY and someone cut in front of me just to wait for her family behind me.

So, to sum up, this is a magical and relaxing place for anyone and especially those who live in crazy cities like NY.

One funny thing I noticed while we were in Hawaii pertaining to Dev. We saw one Sikh couple in Hawaii at a luau and I joked around to Dev that maybe he knows them. I turn around for one second and I see the guy going up to Dev to shake hands. Maybe all Indian people do know each other?! Dev didn't know this guy, but we got a quick laugh out of it.

Aloha!
Juiet