Ridiculous and Redemptive

Relational Glue: The Power of Shared Experience

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Thu, 17 Apr 2014 21:53:00 +0000

People, whose relationships beat the odds and hold strong over time, have stumbled upon one of life’s grand secrets.

Relationships need glue. And one of the strongest glues available are shared experiences.

On one level, it sounds like common sense. Attend to a relationship, and it will thrive. Husbands, plan regular dates for your wife, and marriage will feel more and more like that first year. Parents, make time for your kids and watch how their eyes light up. Long distance friends, Skype one another more often and the miles between you will actually shrink. And mentors, make memories with your youth to set a foundation for friendship that will carry you into the days when you both have grey hair.

My UrbanLife adult volunteer team engaged in a powerful, shared experience last night. We dyed Easter eggs together. How can an experience, fueled by vinegar, a dozen eggs and a .99 cent package of dye tablets be characterized as powerful?

This is how simple, yet complex, it gets:

Attention leads to connection. For a portion of the night, we all attended to the same activity. Engaging in a shared experience together communicates that, at least in the moment: I AM HERE WITH YOU. Additionally, shared experiences provide opportunities to establish common ground quickly. Conversation that might be challenging in neutral space, becomes easy for both parties. Simply describing what is going on in front of you fills any potentially awkward space.

On a biological level, we connected. As we shared an experience, our physiology reinforced our connection. It has happened from the beginning of our lives. Babies’ heartbeats begin to mimic the rhythm of their caregivers, when resting in their arms. Breathing rates become more similar. And at the cellular level, Mirror neurons take in information and fire subconsciously, allowing us to interpret one another’s positive body language and mimic it back. In the eye contact and posture, a fly-on-the-wall would have certainly described our group as connected last night.

On an emotional level, we connected. Volunteers experienced surprise when they walked into a training meeting, only to see that we were dying eggs. A couple of them possibly felt low-level anxiety because this was a new activity to them. We all laughed when Ricardo dropped and cracked one of the eggs. And we lamented the fact that we would not be able to eat the hard boiled eggs later, because I had left them out too long. Most of these emotions were shared, in identical time and space.

We created a positive memory. Memory is anchored both in our emotions and in our bodies. On a basic level, successful and thriving relationships involve amassing a greater percentage of positive and reinforcing experiences than negative or neutral ones. While, dying eggs may not have been the highlight of my leader’s month, it was definitely positive. Because it was, and because it reinforced learning of valuable skills that night, my bet is that they will be back for the next gathering.

Shared experiences are like relational glue.

Life on the Beach Blaster

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Thu, 10 Apr 2014 15:22:00 +0000

I’m not naïve enough to think there is a great swarm of readers wondering, where has JP been? But, upon reading this, you may be saying to yourself, “Wow, it has been a long time JP!”

The explanation, in short: Life has been moving fast.

Last week during High School Mission Week, I rode a thrilling amusement park ride at Mission Beach. I rode it ten times. Due to some early day rain, the lines were minimal and allowed for our group to experience thrills, one after another. The Beach Blaster became addictive to a whole handful of us. Like a 100 foot-pendulum, it swung us back and forth. Adding centripetal force, it spun us around. Both happening at once, the ride had its way with us. By the tenth time, my 36-year-old stomach had had enough.

While on the ride, life happened in flashes. We’d wave at friends as we whizzed by. Perhaps we should have stopped to recount the horror and the thrill. But the opportunity to ride again, and immediately, pushed us back into line and onto the Beach Blaster.

So it is in seasons of our lives. As parents, we routinely face the decision to grab a camera to capture a moment, or to simply experience the fullness of the moment unfiltered. Bloggers, at times, are faced with a decision to narrate a recent event, or to dive in and experience another one. Healthy social media users ask the hard questions, including, “Am I experiencing the fullness of life in the same way I am portraying it online?” Seasons of simply living are helpful for perspective and grounding.

In this past season of youth ministry, I’ve needed to just be. Not experience, write about, photograph and pine about. Just be.

I may reach back a month to tell you about the stolen shoes that reappeared on my doorstep or detail the lunacy of staying up all night, at my age, with teens. I may let you in on our secret ice blocking spot. I’d love to share about a student, once bottled up by rejection and pain, now blossoming in an environment of safety and affirmation. I might even let you know about the award I recently won. These are the things you’ve missed.

But they are ones that I’ve fully experienced, like each whipping turn of the Beach Blaster.

13 Days and 5 Ways I'm Still Struggling with Richard Sherman

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Sun, 02 Feb 2014 01:58:00 +0000

Since posting my initial reaction to Richard Sherman rant, I'm still struggling. Several significant events have taken place that give the conversation more texture and complexity and depth. But the challenge, from where I sit, remains the same. Let me catch you up:

1. Richard Sherman got slapped on the wrist.

We learned that the NFL fined Sherman $7,875 for unsportsmanlike conduct, following his actions “mocking” opponents during the NFC Championship game versus the San Francisco 49ers. He was not fined for his remarkably self-absorbed interview with Fox Sports’ Erin Andrews. Selfishness is apparently not legislated by the NFL.

2. Richard Sherman became uber famous.

We now know that Sherman gained 299,000 Twitter followers in the 24 hours following the NFC Championship game. Whether from intrigue or allegiance, Sherman's potential influence grew exponentially. ESPN's "Monday Morning Quarterback" column about him got 4.5 million clicks, shattering a Sports Illustrated digital record.

3. Richard Sherman got even more rich.

Sherman's agent revealed this week that interest in signing Richard Sherman to endorsement deals has "boomed" since his comments. In fact, the millions that are promised make the NFL's less-than-eight thousand dollar fine laughable. This article conservatively estimates that Sherman will make 5 million dollars from the incident.

4. Richard Sherman sort of apologized.

In the 13 days leading up to the Superbowl, we've heard Sherman deflect, minimize, justify and expound. What we haven't seen, is an effort to express regret or to communicate how he could have shown more valor and virtue. In his words, "I may have been wrong in my gestures, but if I had to do it all again, I'd probably do some of the same things."

5. Richard Sherman clearly won the support of the young men I mentor.

This was a bummer to me. I posted here that I would use this current event to engage my mentees on issues of pride and self-identity. When asked about their thoughts on Richard, their responses were strong and clear:

I initially explained this phenomenon by considering the influences of my boys growing up in

this urban neighborhood. On the streets, the strong survive. Weakness, when expressed, makes you a target. 'Trash talk' is a norm. Performance is king. And trash talk that is backed up, trumps everything.

But this was far too simplistic. My boys don't live in an urban bubble. They are connected to the media world like you and I. In fact, I'd be willing to bet that they were among the 299,000 new Twitter followers of Richard Sherman. From afar, they observe how society rewards and punishes behavior. The storm of money, fame and scrutiny did not take Richard Sherman by surprise. After all, Sherman holds a degree in communications from Stanford. But I don't think my boys were surprised by the positive reinforcement either. They see his face splashed on screens. They talk about the Dre Beats commercials featuring Sherman more frequently. And they know he is 'getting his.' It's not even a question. This is how our world works, they say.

The challenge still remains though. If this is how our world works, how do we communicate that there's more? In a world, where the first are first and the last are left out, how do we teach virtues that matter? How do we point them to a kingdom where life is found in giving yourself away? How do we show them that their teammates and co-workers and family members are at least as important as they are, and should be treated even better?

I think I know the answer. But it isn't formulaic. It isn't quick. And it isn't even always fun.

The answer is in showing them. The answer is in walking with our youth. The answer is in a long term strategy of being with them in the struggle. The answer is in mentoring them well. The answer is in pointing them to Jesus.

For Me, For You and For Richard Sherman

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Fri, 24 Jan 2014 17:09:00 +0000

How Richard Sherman is Helping Me Mentor Youth

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Tue, 21 Jan 2014 04:34:00 +0000

You must have seen it ‘go down’ on television last night right after the Seahawks' win. If you happened to be occupied during the Seahawks 49ers game or away from a television, then your Twitter feed was surely blowing up. As early as this morning, it was a hot topic of conversation in the grocery line. Chances are, you are at least tangentially familiar with the Richard Sherman rant.

On the final drive of the NFC Divisional Playoff series, Seattle cornerback Richard Sherman tipped a ball that was intended for 49ers wide receiver, Michael Crabtree. The deflected ball was quickly intercepted, propelling the Seattle Seahawks into the upcoming February 2nd Superbowl. The drive was amazing to watch. The final play was spectacular. It must have been both exhilarating and rewarding for Richard Sherman. But, in my opinion, he misused the moment. And he looked small.

Instead of celebrating the accomplishment with his teammates and chest bumping the teammate that actually made the interception, he went after Crabtree, taunting him. Moments later, Fox Sports' Erin Andrews, asked him to describe the play.

CLICK TO SEE INTERVIEW

"I'm the best corner in the game," Sherman yelled. "When you try me with a sorry receiver like Crabtree, that's the result you're gonna get. Don't you ever talk about me."

And because he does not really answer the question directly, Andrews asks who he is talking about.

"Crabtree," he said. "Don't you open your mouth about the best or I'm gonna shut it for you real quick."

It came off badly. He used the moment to belittle his opponent. He jumped at the chance to glorify (and perhaps overstate) his own giftedness. It was brash. It was brazen. And he was dripping in pride.

But Richard Sherman is going to help me mentor youth.

Richard Sherman brings up a topic that me and the guys have needed to talk about. I am hoping that, this coming Sunday morning, the Sherman-Crabtree story will lead us into conversation that proves formational for the young men I love.

The topic is sure to connect with them. I predict a couple of the guys will defend his brazen cockiness. I know that they been taught to admire and identify with the swagger that was on display. One of my guys even thinks so highly of himself, that he self-imposed and self-propagated a change of his first name to match that of 4-time NBA MVP, LeBron. It's a far cry from Abdi Abdi.

You can guarantee a couple things will come up in our conversation. I will slip into coach speak, suggesting that Richard Sherman should have been a ‘team guy’ and “act like he’s been there before.”
Also guaranteed, I will also ask them to wrestle with Scripture from Proverbs that asserts, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” (Proverbs 16:18) Additionally, “Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; A stranger, and not your own lips.” (Proverbs 27:2) Launching from this verse, I'll probably point out that he didn't need to say a word at the end of that game. Had he refused to speak when Erin Andrews jammed the microphone in his face, he still would have been heralded by all for making the play of the game! It's so much sweeter (and right) to let compliments flow in, than to manufacture them on our own.

The need for individual recognition, for each of us, exposes our disbelief in the fact that we are treasured sons and daughters of God. We feel like we need more than that. We need the praise and applause of women and men. And many of us chase this idol to find in effort to experience deep fulfillment. Richard Sherman isn’t the only one out there trumpeting his own name. While potentially demonizing Sherman here, I am fully aware that the same temptation gets to me, and to us, sporadically. Behind our degrees and our homes and our Instagram filtered photos, we too come off brazen as well.

My prayer is for all of us today: me…you…my mentees…and Richard Sherman. Today, might we attribute all that is good in our lives, to God Himself, who showers us with His good gifts.

And if you take any credit, then we’ll let Richard Sherman deal with you, "Don't you open your mouth about the best or I'm gonna shut it for you real quick!"

Redemptively Hot Carrots {Recipe Included}

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Thu, 16 Jan 2014 01:07:00 +0000

Proactive parents are always pushing vegetables. They know that, at least in the early years, they are responsible for the diets of their growing kids.

Some hide it in the sauce. Others incentivize vegetable consumption. Still others focus on making veggies delectable and palatable.

We employ the 'all of the above' approach. We do it because physical health matters. Nutritious diets, that top recommended daily allowances of fruits and vegetables result in positive outcomes for youth. Eating fruits and vegetables lowers the risk of developing chronic diseases and can also help with weight management. Blog entries "Top Chef UrbanLife" and "Watch out Chipotle"chronicle two of our recent efforts to engage this challenge
.

Our efforts this week included sending hot Mexican-style carrots along with students and their mentors on Bible Study and Burrito {small} Night at UrbanLife. The carrots were such a hit, I'm sharing the secret recipe with you:

Redemptively Hot Carrots

1. Peel and slice about 4 pounds of carrots diagonally, about 1/3 inch thick.
2. Additionally, cut 4 yellow onions into thin-ish strips and peel at least one (we suggest 2) whole bulbs of garlic
3. Meanwhile, boil 12 cups of water in a big pot.
4. Once water is boiling, add 4-5 bay leaves.
5. Then add sliced carrots, simmering for 4 minutes.
6. Remove heat and add all these ingredients to the giant pot: sliced onions, 4 cups cider vinegar, 1-20oz. can of sliced jalepenos with juice, 1/2 cup vegetable oil, peeled garlic cloves, 2 tablespoons of salt, 1 tablespoon of pepper, a teaspoon of sugar, and a punch of dried oregano.
7. Let cool.
8. Refrigerate and enjoy.

Tearing Through Short Stacks with Teenage Boys

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Fri, 10 Jan 2014 00:17:00 +0000

My guys tear through their short stacks of pancakes. And I mean that a couple of different ways. Sure, we regularly impress Denny’s waitresses with the total number of pancakes our table consumes in a breakfast sitting. The $4 All-You-Can-Eat Slam was surely not designed to make money on a group in our demographic.

But there is still another way my guys tear through their short stacks. They use their hands to rip the pancakes.

It shouldn’t have caught me off-guard. But it did. It only took a moment for me to pop off our booth’s vinyl cushion and break into a ‘How to Handle Your Cutlery’ mini-lesson. Being the father of three Ethiopian children, I should have been a little more graceful. Table etiquette is clearly culturally bound. All three of my mentees reminded me as much.

“I don’t care what people in here think” boasted the de facto leader with some swagger and scrunched eyes for emphasis.

“It’s way more efficient this way”

“You gotta admit that JP!” added the third.

They had a point.

But so did I.

In my mind, I knew wasn’t a hill to die on. It wasn’t something to make them feel ashamed about. But it was worth the discussion for sure.

They deserve to know that there is a dominant culture that will judge them based on perceptions, wrong or right. They deserve to know what particular decorum is in specific settings. That’s why we talk about tipping when we get the bill. It’s also why they get the ‘how to treat a lady’ speech right before the big dance. The ability to interact and connect with divergent types of people is a useful skill. And I want them to posses it.

This is a slice of mentoring. But it is not the whole.

Mentoring is greater than, not equal to the teaching of manners.

That’s why I’m not going to ‘trip’ if they tear up the hotcakes on our next trip to Dennys. The number of meals we share together is actually the more important measure. If I get to be around these guys as they mature into caring husbands, exceptional employees, involved fathers and courageous community leaders, then we both win. We are both being made more and more into the image of God, under this scenario.

And that is worth infinitely more than stacks and stacks and stacks of pancakes, whether politely sliced or efficiently torn.

Much Much Reminder

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Tue, 07 Jan 2014 20:00:00 +0000

No Squandering God's Goods in 2014

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Thu, 02 Jan 2014 23:04:00 +0000

Our youth are gifted. They really are.

The problem is, many don't know it. Or believe it.

Sure, there are a few in every group. But even the most confident and self-assured of students aren’t convinced they know how or why they are gifted.

But this isn't crazy.

Many of us adults, if pressed, aren’t in touch with our strengths either. We regularly make weighty decisions flippantly, failing to consider the orientation of our own gifting. We commit our time and treasure without feeling confirmed that we are in optimal, God-directed roles. We may have a general belief that God made us each unique, in His image. But we often fail to consider our distinct wiring as a valuable input source of our decision-making. And when we don’t, we are in danger of squandering God's goods.

Jesus emphasizes this principle well in the Parable of the Talents (Mathew 25).

You should read it for yourself and let God speak in it. But for now, I'll give you the JP synopsis:

A particular master of an estate stuffed his duffle bag in preparation for a long trip. But before taking off down the road, he gathered his servants and trusted them with varying amounts of money. One got a '5-spot'. Another got 2. And the third dude just got 1.

The master took off. Once he was gone, the ‘fella’ with the 5, invested it and doubled his money. The servant with 2, went to work and earned 2 more. But the third guy just hid his '1' out of fear that it would be lost.

When the master returns from the trip, he is proud of two servants that grew their money, but he was super confused by the one that hid his money. "What were you thinking?" He explained that the money should have been invested, someway or somehow. "To those who use well what they are given, even more will be given, and they will have an abundance. But from those who do nothing, even what little they have will be taken away."

If we agree that each of us is born with strengths, then it is our duty to further develop our abilities and use them in ways that honor God. In fact, exercising our giftedness is a primary way that we reflect the image of God.

In working with emerging student leaders, we want them to know that they posses gifts from God. In The Come Up Leadership Development Internship at UrbanLife, we do this very early in the process. Here’s how:

1. We administer assessment tools and ask them if the results support what they are seeing in themselves. Just last month, we dedicated a retreat weekend to this discernment and self-reflective process.

2. We put students in positions to “try on” their emerging strengths. We task some with functions of hospitality at gatherings. Other students are given more executive responsibilities in pulling off events. Everyone has a portion of tasks that are just plain ‘elbow-grease' work as to approximate the varied demands of authentic employment placements.

3. Together and regularly, we reflect on our experiences. We answer questions that seem basic, like “Did you enjoy that task? Was it easy for you? At what point of the evening were you most energized?” And we affirm the effectiveness and passion we see in one another while at work- called “Big Ups."

  In the end, we want students to know how intimately and intricately God made them. We also want them to know why God gave them unique and potent gifts. The answer? To use those gifts in bringing about the Kingdom of God here and now.

Accessing our giftedness can be hard work. Just like our students, it requires being regularly introspective. It means listening well to the affirmations of those who know us best. It demands bravery in trying tasks that feel foreign at first. And it requires intentionality in scheduling our time to be in places where we are serving God in the unique ways he has prepared us to do so.

With this new filter, I challenge you to look again at the New Year's resolutions that you just made. Go ahead, revise, slash and add if you need to. It will be freeing!

May we all realize that we are trusted with gifts. May we leverage our strengths to love others well. And may we hear from our master, upon his return, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

My 'Hair-brained' Christmas Idea

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Fri, 20 Dec 2013 21:58:00 +0000

{Click picture to play}

Dude Armor-All-ed My Windows!

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Thu, 07 Nov 2013 16:32:00 +0000

There just aren’t enough jobs for youth in our neighborhood. As it turns out, there aren’t enough mentoring adults either.

Recently, I employed a youth who had a realistic need and wanted to earn some money. I obliged because, according to him, he was avoiding dishonest ways of getting the money (See The Wrong Kind of 'Come Up'). My challenge was, I was already committed to being with my sons on that morning. I would not be able to supervise the work or model what I wanted, side by side.

I asked him to clean and wash my mini van. I set out the vacuum, the soap, the Armor-all, and the Windex. I verbalized the directions. I even checked on the progress, once after an enthusiastic reading of The Monster at the End of This Book and again before putting the boys down for naps.

Apparently, my spotty presence and cursory dictation of instructions were not enough.

Minutes before this youth was “done” and set to be paid, I noticed that the van windows looked conspicuously oily, beyond streaky.

Dude Armor-All-ed my windows!

Deep breath.

“That was his best.” I told myself

“Even though he is 18, nobody has taught him to wash a car” I reasoned.

“But it cost me as much as a professional car wash!” I exclaimed “And I am going to have to do a lot of it over myself!”

Deep breath.

“I should have supervised this better.” Maybe. But I was not available to do so.

“I should have done it myself!” I lamented in private.

I ultimately landed on this: “It was still the right thing. Next time we'll get it better. Learning is going to happen over time and through trusted relationship.”

This one instance illustrates a single truth that I pray more people hear and respond to. There are too many youth growing up without older folk investing in them. They need dedicated parents, motivated mentors, talented teachers, and patient employers. I get upset when I reflect on the reality of so many City Heights youth. Most feel a huge vacuum that should be filled by the consistent presence of caring adults. It is even more upsetting to see the unexpected symptoms of young people going at life alone.

Greased up windows are one thing. But self–inflicted pain and increasing despair in the eyes of youth should jolt us all.

Would you consider being significant in one teen’s life? To explore this option with me, click the above image and let me guide you. It might cost you some extra money and a vehicle’s collection of streak-free car windows. But the sense of fulfillment you will gain, will help your vision anyhow.

Consider Yourself Wanted, Invited and Needed

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Thu, 31 Oct 2013 17:50:00 +0000

Watch Out Chipotle

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Tue, 29 Oct 2013 23:02:00 +0000

Watch out Chipotle. UrbanLife just got into the burrito making business. We are not actually selling burritos. Nor are we in any place to compete with a corporate burrito dealer. We are in position to imitate their ingenious burrito assembly line though. In fact, it seems to benefit us in at least a few ways:

Burritos are hand-held.

On Bible study nights, we are able to hand both Bibles and burritos to students as they walk through the door. Right away, we are interacting with youth and getting into the scriptures.

Burritos are versatile.

Provided we keep mixing up the ingredients, we may be able to serve burritos every single Bible study night. On the proposed menu, we’ve got egg and potato, rice, bean and summer squash, pollo asado and corn. And we are just getting started. Predictability meets variety.

Burritos empower youth.

Five student leader-interns are earning a stipend each month as they learn and engage in servant leadership. Serving food that they prepare to their peers creates a sense of ownership that we give up when we order pizza from the local storefront cardboard-tasting pizza shop.

Burritos improve health.

Parents with toddlers know that the most efficient means of getting vegetables into their children’s stomachs is to hide the vegetables. Tortillas are ‘best in show’ for that purpose. Because our community is over-represented among those who are obese and overweight, UrbanLife needs to be part of the solution.

Be on the lookout for salsa recipes, shared by UrbanLife students. Burritos may just crack your Top-10 routine meals at the house.

Let Smiles Speak

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Tue, 08 Oct 2013 18:14:00 +0000

These are the looks of promise

Eager to be developed

These are smiles of contentment

Proud to be chosen

These are the children of God

Poised to change a neighborhood

These are the leaders of tomorrow

Believing now that we believe in them

This is the Come Up

Let This Marinate

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Wed, 02 Oct 2013 19:42:00 +0000

The Wrong Kind of 'Come Up'

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Tue, 01 Oct 2013 17:00:00 +0000

My students are “coming up” on things way too frequently.

In the hood, to “come up” on something, means stealing it.

Before I served youth with UrbanLife, I didn’t think so many people were engaged in criminal activity just to meet basic needs. But these days, I see it happening all around me. The tentacles of poverty have their slime all over our students. And this morning, it’s grieving my soul.

*******

Corey didn’t commit the crime. But he was a lookout for the criminals. Corey needed money from somewhere. And it wasn’t coming from his mom. According to him, she gets the most angry when he asks for new clothes. He shouldn’t have to wear shoes that are so small, his big toe loses feeling. But those are the shoes he wears every day.

We told Henry that he was going to steal from the wrong person at some point. But the immediate rush of dopamine and monetary reward was too great for him to stay away from. He kept stealing. Finally, last spring, he was arrested in a stolen vehicle. It landed him behind bars for some hard time.

Walter is perhaps the most promising student I have worked with at UrbanLife. He excels in both school and sports. Adults are compliment him and students follow him. I just happen to follow him on Facebook. Over social media I began to see phones for sale way too often. If he wasn’t stealing them himself, Walter was selling the stolen phones for profit.

Todd made sure he slept at his friend’s house last weekend. It was the end of the month. And there wasn’t any food in his cupboards. His dad is on trial for burglary next week. He desperately wants a different life for himself though. On Sunday, he interviewed to be a part of The Come Up Leadership Development Internship. We are all pulling for this kid.

********

There’s no excuse for this kind of behavior. But it’s also not a given that these guys can ask their parents for a lock (for your PE locker), for new socks or football cleats, or for money to pay a debt for a textbook that his sister wrote in. Most of my guys are not even thinking about homecoming. The way into a suit and onto a picture order is way out of reach. Cash is dry at home. Jobs are hard to come by. And foot-pushing scooters are their best mode transportation.

I've taken some hacks at addressing this blunder. I’ve hired youth to work at our house. For hours at a time, they’ve mowed the lawn, pulled weeds, and washed vehicles. Last week I had a couple youth washing exterior windows for neighbors. But these are all '1-offs'.

This week’s launch of THE COME UP, our leadership development internship, will create new realities for a handful (See yesterdays post). “Coming up” doesn’t have to mean stealing. It can also mean rising from the bottom to high places. We believe this will happen in the lives of many of our young people. This kind of “Come Up” is an avenue to meaningful work, fair pay, and real challenge that calls forth their gifts. Perhaps most importantly, participation in this internship decreases the chances of their lives being defined by the worst thing they haveever done.

You can allow 1 more student to be included in this internship. Commitments of $100 a month allow us to expand the opportunity to additional qualified applicants.

Give HERE if you are able, designating gifts to “The Come Up.”

*Names are altered to protect identities of my students. Photos included in this entry are not the actual students I am describing.

The 'Come Up'

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Mon, 30 Sep 2013 15:49:00 +0000

Transformed PEOPLE transform neighborhoods.

This is our core belief.

New buildings won’t produce lasting change around here. A stronger police presence alone won’t all together eliminate the crime. Parenting classes by themselves can’t retool families that are stacked densely into apartments. Even doubling the amount of UrbanLife activities to the calendar won’t remake the realities for some of my neighborhood friends.

God still holds the patent on life transformation. Only He can generate the kind of transformation we are longing for around here.

That’s why we are committed to leadership development of youth. Christian leadership development necessarily involves God in the transformation of people.

We believe transformed youth will grow up to be different kinds of moms and dads, employees and neighbors. Better ones. It took only 12 people (disciples- see New Testament), relentlessly committed to following Christ, to change the course of history. So I am pretty sure our neighborhood will look different with a band of transformed youth, driven to love God and neighbor.

Yesterday we interviewed 15 youth for “The Come Up,” a year-long leadership development internship. In this internship, we look critically at the challenges facing our neighborhood and push the interns to engage in positive ways. We coach them to be Jesus-style leaders, serving rather than wielding power. And we pay them $100 monthly stipends. This allows us to prepare them for employment and to train them to be professional and productive. Additionally it allows a portion of them to help their families and turn from dishonest methods of making money in the ‘hood. Unfortunately, we are seeing startling numbers of youth turn to different versions of a ‘hustle’ in efforts to meet basic needs (see tomorrow’s post for more).

Help me develop more students. Although 10 of the 15 students, who interviewed, are ready for this kind of rigor and development, our current budget allows for only 5 hires. While we have capacity to train more students, we just don’t have the capital. With only a few new financial partners, we will be able to hire more emerging leaders this Thursday. More specifically, one new partner giving $100 a month will allow us to include an additional student in the cohort. Four financial partners, giving $25 dollars a month will also allow us to include an additional student in the cohort.

Would you pray and consider giving generously to see youth in our city, ‘Come Up?’

LINK to give online.

LINK to UrbanLife homepage

Let this Marinate in Your Brain

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Fri, 27 Sep 2013 02:46:00 +0000

Mission Bay Baptism

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Wed, 25 Sep 2013 23:37:00 +0000

You may remember Courtney as the guy who pledged to grow a square of hair (a “tail”) so long as his love for Jesus kept on growing too {post titled "Both Ridiculous and Redemptive"}.

The good news [and the bad news-aesthetically speaking] is that tail is still growing strong!

A striking sign of Courtney’s continued spiritual growth was his decision to be baptized last month. Given the opportunity to baptize Courtney, I asked him three questions. Each had significant gravity:

Do you believe that you have a need for God because of your own sin and the brokenness of the world around you?

Do you believe in Jesus, who forgave your sins, died for you, and rose again that you might experience abundant life?

Do you choose follow God all the days of your life and commit to this family of believers, offering the best of your time talents and treasure to King Jesus?

With the affirmative answer to these questions, Courtney was submerged in the salty Mission Bay. Then he emerged, dripping and smiling. Amidst the hooting and clapping of onlookers, we witnessed an outward expression of an inward reality.

In Christ, Courtney is a new creation.

Worship With 1001

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Tue, 17 Sep 2013 17:32:00 +0000

Church happens throughout the week here.

It happens on a Monday night when fifty or so students walk over from the park to share a hot meal, some spontaneous laughs and a piercing story about God-in-flesh walking this earth.

Church happens on Tuesday when high school students weed and water UrbanLife Farms, bringing life to a barren city lot and empowerment to their own experience.

It happens Wednesday, as young adults mentor and love middle school students, right after 5-dollar pizza and immediately preceding sock dodge ball.

Church happens Thursday night where, once UrbanLife high school students, now Orange Avenue Church college-aged leaders, gather in a local condo to study scripture.

It happens Friday too, when we sabbath purposefully and worship as families.

Church even breaks out on Saturdays, from time to time.

On Sunday we gather to proclaim what God has done during that week, to listen for His voice, and to beg God for strength to face another week.

We've been functioning as a church for a long time now. This fall, we will be formally chartered as a congregation. In anticipation, a camera crew came by to capture a portion of God's movement in our neighborhood. Enjoy this succinct and up-close look at Orange Avenue Church, one of our denomination's 1001 New Worshiping Communities.

Click any image to watch.

Peanut Butter Make-up is the Path to Significance

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Thu, 05 Sep 2013 00:12:00 +0000

This is how we build mentoring relationships that matter:

At this point in the year, we are doing a lot of inviting. We are asking folks to join us. And, in some instances, we are begging.

In my neighborhood, I have 60-70 youth who desire significant, formational, caring adult friendships. For lots of reasons, they just don't have them. As we start to gather students on Monday evenings, beginning in a few short weeks, students will come. I'm just praying adults will too.

We don't need adults with perfect lives or iron-clad advice. Volunteers don't need schedules with openings the size of part-time jobs. We aren't even looking for 40 and 50 year-olds to dress with 'swag' to fit in.

Instead...

We need mentors who will show up.
Mentor leaders join us many Monday nights. Additionally they see students outside of program, attending games, sharing meals and even running errands. We ask for a weekly connection and a year-long commitment.

We need adults who are willing to 'let loose.'
This probably means some version of painting your face with peanut butter and letting high school students spit q-tips out of straws, in your direction.

We need adults who want to be significant.
Volunteer leaders discover that they are receiving far more than they are giving. At a basic level, the youth we work with help us to escape the gravitational pull of narcissism and worry. When we give for the sake of giving, we find life. And we make genuine friends.

If this is you and you realize a little bit of peanut makeup could be the path to significance, then please contact me.
justin@urbanlifesd.org

Invincible at 18

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Tue, 27 Aug 2013 16:04:00 +0000

Most of our students get around on foot.

A lot of them use the city bus.

A handful ride bikes.

And a few brave souls skateboard throughout our urban terrain.

Skating is cool. It is quiet efficient. But it can also be a meat grinder.

I was headed from UrbanLife, back home, with Amare and Atsede in the car. Our summer farm crew had just finished work. Ernesto was headed home too. He was on a 5 foot long skateboard, built for speed and 'carving.' We happened to be leaving at the same time.

Heading west from campus, I realized that Ernesto was going to have to deal with one giant, no gargantuan, hill. Urbanlife sits atop the highest point of City Heights, overlooking the whole community.

As Ernesto approached the drop-in point beyond the crosswalk, my chest became tight. In a moment, I experienced a significant portion of his adrenaline rush. In a flash, I was transported back to 1997 at the University of San Diego. In that place and time, I dropped in on an asphalt mountain, riding a skateboard and carrying a surfboard under my arm. I didn't make it that day. And neither did my right clavicle bone.

"Is he really gonna do that?" I breathed again. "No!"

He was 18 and invincible though.

Accelerating our minivan through the stop sign to follow Ernesto, I saw it.

He dropped in.

He picked up speed.

He picked up more speed.

Then he leaned into a turn. He leaned the opposite way, into the hill.

It seemed to be controlling his speed!

He made it half way down and then pointed the nose of the board straight down.

Ernesto was going to make it!

Then a wheel popped off.

Metal trucks, once spinning four wheels, dug into the concrete. Sparks flew. And so did Ernesto.

Something was going to take the hit. He sacrificed his rear, elbow and palm, forcing them to act like brakes.

The skid lasted way too long. I hated watching it. I still hate thinking about it.

Speeding up and then pulling over, I rushed out to check his condition. He was shaken up. But seemed okay.

"Did my wheel come off? That was so weird." I didn't know. It happened too fast.

Like a good soccer mom, I had a full blown first aid kit ready to go in the minivan.

We stopped the bleeding. We got him some water. And we transported him to his mother.

"Thanks a lot JP" Earnesto repeated.

"No worries man. I am just glad you are okay."

With one more thing to say, I added, "Oh yeah, Ernesto?"

"Yeah JP"

"I know that you are 18 bro. But you are not invincible."

"I got you JP."

Mic'd Up: Ridiculous and Redemptive's Keynote Address

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Thu, 22 Aug 2013 18:54:00 +0000

If I could host a Ridiculous and Redemptive Conference, this guy would be your keynote speaker.

Joe Bankard doesn't just get the nod because he is one of my closest friends.

He doesn't earn our attention on the heels of his recently published book.

He doesn't make this short list because he is a Philosophy professor that finds himself discussing elevated topics like: "Moral Instincts and the Problem with Reductionism."

No. Bankard gets the nod because he lives the Ridiculous and Redemptive ethic. This guy is able to crack up, dress up, and bug out with the best of us.

But he is also a deeply committed follower of Christ. He lives Kingdom priorities as consistently as anyone I know. And his words challenge me to be more faithful. They will challenge you as well.

A couple of weeks ago now, Joe was given the chance to preach at his church in Boise, Idaho. His sermon, "Things I Wish Jesus Said: 'There is Nothing More Important than Your Nuclear Family'" moved me deeply.

In the same way that MLK Jr. used the parable of the Good Samaritan to ask "Who are your neighbors?" Joe uses Luke chapter 9 to ask the question, "Who is your family? In less than 22 minutes, he was able to capture and delineate what I currently understand to be my life calling: to broaden my concept of family and to be present with the motherless and fatherless.

I am inviting you and challenging you to listen today. <<CLICK HERE>> Be sure to listen to the sermon from 7/28/2013.

In his teaching, Joe reminds us that the task of redrawing lines around family is not the role of a single family pastor or of that one crazy family in your church that adopted 18 kids. It's going to take all of us. Each of us that identifies with the name of Christ has a role to play in welcoming God's children that lack family here on earth.

It can look all kinds of ways. It can be mentoring youth (through UrbanLife, please :). It can look like inviting the lonely neighbor out to pizza with your own family. It can look like fostering a baby (like Angels Foster Family Network) or a teen (like Casey Family Programs) with the targeted support of a private family service agency. It can look like providing diapers and respite for a struggling single mother in the church or neighborhood. It can look like faithfully giving and writing to a Compassion kid abroad in a way that mitigates disadvantage and suffering that come with poverty. It can look like an unexpected invitation to a Thanksgiving meal or a regular weekday dinner.
It should look like all of these things and more. And when it does, the world will see the church at its best. The children and youth that we befriend will experience the church at its best. People will see the church living and laughing and embracing like an extended family.

May we find more and more ways to re-draw the lines around traditional family. Let's do this until every single child knows they are a child of God and are loved unconditionally.

In the end, it may be the most redemptive thing we could do. Ever.

On the Outside of an Inside Joke: Summer Camp Series 5

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Fri, 16 Aug 2013 04:12:00 +0000

Imagine you are chosen to participate in an "up-front" game, in front of about 175 people.
You, along with three others, are sent out of the room for a short time.
When they call you back in, it's one at a time.
When you look into the audience, their grins are wide. Their eyes are expectant. And you feel like there's something they are not telling you.
You are on the outside of an inside joke.

But everyone is cheering.
And you must concentrate.
The person with the microphone is giving directions and so you must listen.

The game sounds simple:
1. Lift the bucket.
2. Name whatever you find under the bucket.
3. Get the fastest time.

Simple right? Click to see how it unfolded for one of our (un)lucky students.

The room erupts.
This stuff is ridiculous.

If only they would have warned you about the human head- inside the plastic bin.

The 'ME' Part of Missionality on Eid-al-Fitr

noreply@blogger.com (Justin Phillips) — Thu, 08 Aug 2013 15:40:00 +0000

The 'ME' Part

In a previous post this week, I asserted that it was God’s job to transform the hearts of my Muslim friends. But I am learning that I do have an active role to play in this mix. Stated simply, I am called to obey Jesus. Another author, Jerry Trousdale, in Miraculous Movements, is teaching me what obedience might look like in my context. Trousdale indicates that being intentional, inviting and biblical in friendship with Muslims should include these markers:

People engaged in real, meaningful friendships over (often) long periods of time.
Folks committed to much prayer.
Individuals attempting to find common ground between Muslim and Christian faiths. Avoiding me-versus-you debates.
Men and women discipling others even before their friends are professed believers.
Folks expecting the hardest places to yield the greatest results.

So in my context, and with my friends, I am committed to a long-term friendships with these boys. It’s not limited to the upcoming academic calendar. For me this looks like visiting them at school, attending their games, and having them over to the house. They should know my kids, my w, and maybe even my dog, Zion (though Muslims don’t touch dogs). I should disciple them, even before they know Jesus. Teaching can happen in the context of small groups and large group activities through UrbanLife. But discipleship is as much ‘caught’ as ‘taught.’ If they are hanging with me, I will seek to model the quintessential Jesus-way of loving enemies, being last instead of first, forgiving offenses. I should be on my knees praying for them, and their welfare. That looks like waking up early, even before my young kids! And I should expect a mighty God to finish the work. That looks like me living with some boundaries, resisting the temptation to act as the Savior.

This Month is Ramadan; Today is Eid-al-Fitr

Ramadan is big time. Across our town and throughout the world, followers of Islam are observing a dusk-to-dawn fast right now. This month-long fast commemorates the revelations given from God through Gabriel to Muhammad. During this time, my friends are praying more and are more receptive to God’s voice. Today’s Eid-al–Fitr feast marks the end of the holy week.

Dreams are big time too. God is using them to call individuals to follow Jesus throughout the Muslim world. Across the globe, Jesus Christ is renewing the lives of tens of thousands of Muslims. Of these masses, nearly 70% of the new followers of Jesus report having dreams that transformed them forever. For “God-knows-what” reason, this is the avenue many are finding freedom and life in Christ.

Knowing that my friends are receptive and that my God is able, I have been praying for dreams this month. I continue pray my friends may encounter the love and the forgiveness of Jesus. I pray they might experience Him for real and know that He is good.

Would you pray with me?