“For me, the team always comes first, and without the help of my colleagues, I am nothing.”

Do you like the “Memories” feature on Facebook? I love checking in each morning to see pictures of my girls when they were little, the cats doing something weird, or some other milestone of our lives. It encourages me to keep taking pictures and posting.

Not long ago, I found a photo from a few years past taken on Main Street here in Ann Arbor. It’s my girls and I dressed in our Karate uniforms on the occasion of me earning my Fifth Degree Black Belt. Needless to say there was a big smile on my face.

The funny thing about martial arts, most people assume that it is a solitary endeavor. I mean, it’s not a team sport like football or soccer. It’s just one person performing or at most two when it comes to sparring. The truth is, to be successful at Karate, you need a team to call on. I’ve had numerous coaches and teachers over the past 25 years. I’ve had sparring partners to challenge me to improve my skills, and training partners that walked with me on the path and kept me focused. My family stood behind me when the training was taking a lot of my time (usually just before testing for a major belt). I’ve even had professionals in my corner for times when things didn’t go as planned and I suffered minor injuries.

A lot of people think that success in our careers and our lives means a lot of solitary work. Maybe. But as a small business owner for the last 30 years, I can say I wouldn’t have seen nearly this level of success without a team behind me. Coaches, teachers, accountability partners, referral sources. Family support, of course, is in that mix, not to mention the occasional professional for when my needs exceed my skills or my available effort.

All of that support comes about as a result of relationship development. It’s about networking to develop the resources you need to be successful and significant in your life. The next time you are faced with a challenge take a moment to consider who in your network can help you — even if it’s only by pointing you in the direction you need to go.

Create the connections to support you so in a few years time you can look back through your “Memories” to see how far you’ve come.

Who are you looking for right now to be on your team?

The post Network to Build Your Team first appeared on Greg Peters.

“Acquaintance lessens fame.”

As I’ve mentioned, each year at Labor Day, I head down to Atlanta for DragonCon, the annual science fiction convention. One of the cool things that can happen there is that you might just run into someone famous “in the wild”. One morning, I was up getting breakfast in the hotel lounge. Standing next to me in the breakfast buffet line was none other than George Takei, probably most famous for his portrayal of Mr. Sulu on the original Star Trek series.

Now, I could have gotten all tongue-tied and gone into “fan boy” mode. Instead, I just asked how the convention was treating him. We chatted briefly and he told me he was a little worried that the weather (a hurricane had blown up in the Gulf of Mexico) might delay his return to Los Angeles.

It was almost like he was an actual human being!

Here’s how this applies to networking. You may find yourself at a networking event chatting with someone who turns out to be a CEO or President or politician. Many people have a problem with this because of a perceived difference in social status. They worry that they have nothing to bring to the conversation.

Here are a few tricks to get past “fan boy” mode in your business conversations:

1. Focus on the person, not the position. Most business leaders I’ve met are actually people, too. They vacation with their families. They play with their grandchildren. They pursue hobbies in their off-time. Be curious about who they are beyond the work
2. Acknowledge your value. You’ve got a lifetime of experiences yourself and are an interesting person in your own right. You may not run the company, but you do have a perspective of how it runs from where you are.
3. Seek the common points. You are two human beings on the face of the earth. You probably have more in common with each other than you know. It’s not guaranteed, but the more curious you are, the more likely it is you are going to find out those points of intersection.
4. Ask good questions. Be curious about how they approach life. As they say, success leaves clues. You never know when a simple conversation may lead to the answers you need right now.
5. It’s the personal that makes the connection. Most people don’t connect over a mutual love of P&L statements. If, however, you have a common interest in Disney, you’ve got an excuse to stay in touch.

Don’t let some perceived difference in social status separate you from the opportunities around you. Put away the “I’m not worthy” attitude and say hello to another human being. If nothing else, it might be a fun conversation.

What famous person would you be in danger of going “fan boy/girl” around?

Image credit: Super Festivals, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

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“The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life.”

I mentioned last week that each year I head down to Atlanta to attend DragonCon. If it’s around Labor Day and you want to follow my journey, you can check up on me in Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/GregoryRPeters). I post a lot of pictures of the cool, amazing, and weird things I see.

I learn a lot from watching the fans at this event. One of the cool things is to see all of the creative costumes that people wear (“cosplay” for those in the know). What I love is when I recognize something that is a little obscure. That guy? He’s not just Superman. He’s Superman from the tenth episode of season 2 of “Lois & Clark” when he battles Metallo. That lady over there? She’s the 1980s version of Jean Grey from the X-Men comics. Him? His costume is a mash-up of Green Lantern, Deadpool, and Pikachu (all characters played or voiced by Ryan Reynolds). There’s just something about being in on the joke that makes it more fun.

When it comes to networking, being “in on the joke” can make the difference in not only whether you have fun, but also whether you succeed in your efforts. Here are some of the more subtle things you might want to find out before you show up at your next business gathering.

1. The venue. You want more than the address. How long will it take to get there? Is construction that might slow you down? Does it have convenient parking?
2. The attendees. Are the people you want to meet going to be there? At the Ann Arbor/Ypsilanti Chamber, different people show up to different events.
3. The activities. Is there a speaker? Are you passing business cards? Do you have to introduce yourself or deliver an educational “commercial”? Are you ready for that?
4. Networking tools. Will they have a name tag for you? Do you need a bunch of business cards? How about a notebook to record the people you meet and the information you gain?
5. Taboos. Some groups frown on passing business cards. Others require that you be sponsored by a member. Avoid the pitfalls wherever you can.

If you are new to an event, be sure to talk with the person who invited you or even the organizer to make sure you know the “in jokes” for the group. If you are an old-timer, watch for the newbies. Help them become part of the fun.

What’s one “in joke” in a group to which you belong that might trip up a newbie?

Photo by rawpixel.com from PxHere

The post 5 “In Jokes” to Network Like a Pro first appeared on Greg Peters.

“There is no such thing as a worthless conversation, provided you know what to listen for. And questions are the breath of life for a conversation.”

As you probably know, each September I make a trip down to Atlanta, Georgia to attend DragonCon. It’s a large science fiction convention and I always have a lot of fun. I also get to see how networking concepts play out in the world of nerd-dom.

One of the cool things about DragonCon is that it has about 40 different programming tracks. Whether you are a fan of Star Trek, Star Wars, science, comics, podcasting, cosplay, science fiction literature, etc, etc, etc, there is a track for you. What makes this so neat is that no matter where you show up, you are surrounded by people with similar interests. With any given person, you can strike up a conversation given that common point of interest.

With networking and specifically networking groups, something similar happens. No matter what events you attend, there will be a common purpose or theme that you all share. It makes those first conversations a little bit easier.

1. Talk about the group. Ask what they enjoy about this group or, if they are new, what drew them here in the first place.
2. Talk about the speaker/panel/speed networking/activity. Whatever the central activity for this event is, you either will be experiencing it, or just did. It does mean you have to pay attention.
3. Talk about the event. You can comment on the venue, the refreshments, the parking, the travel, (or for longer events) the hotel, the city, the after hours activities.
4. Talk about their experience. Where are they from? Where do they work? What do they do? Whom have they met?

Just like at DragonCon, your fellow attendees are probably where you are because they have similar needs and interests. Use that as an ice breaker to start a new connection that could lead to long-term success for you both.

So, Star Trek or Star Wars?

The post Let the Networking Event Drive the Conversation first appeared on Greg Peters.

“As the Internet of things advances, the very notion of a clear dividing line between reality and virtual reality becomes blurred, sometimes in creative ways.”

My daughter, Abby, and I have differing opinions on books. I love digital. The convenience factor is huge for me. No matter where I am, I can pull out my phone and read my stories. Abby on the other hand, likes the hard copy, dead tree edition. She likes the feel of the pages and loves to look at the cover art whenever she wants (Yes, you can do that with the digital version, but “It’s not the same, Dad!”). Regardless of who is right, though, both are simply means to convey the contents of the book and both work.

When Covid struck, a lot of our networking went virtual. For some of us, this actually worked quite nicely. No drive time. No parking. No limits on distance. No noisy, crowded rooms. The convenience made it nice. For others, that loss of in-person connection was a catastrophe.

Now, while things are returning somewhat to the way they were before, we’ve discovered that they can both work, so long as they achieve the ultimate goal of connecting us to each other. So how can you tell if an online event works as a networking opportunity?

• The people you want to meet are there. Just like an in-person event, you want to make sure that connecting with other attendees will help you achieve your goals.
• You have the opportunity to connect. If you can’t interact with the other attendees, then it simply isn’t a networking opportunity. You need at least to have the ability to use the chat window privately. Better if you can use a breakout room for conversation.
• The other attendees are open to connecting. Not everyone is comfortable interacting at an online event. If they are checking their email instead of participating, then you aren’t going to get the results you want.

Online events can still be opportunities to connect. Just remember that the underlying purpose is to create new relationships. So long as it achieves that goal, the virtual event is a valid addition to your networking repertoire.

So, what’s the best online networking experience you’ve had?

Image credit: IAEA Imagebank, CC BY 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons

The post Is Virtual Networking Better than In-Person? first appeared on Greg Peters.

“Arise! Awake! and stop not until the goal is reached.”

As I’m writing this, the girls are experiencing their first week of school for the new year. While driving Abby to her first day of middle school (I know, where did the time go?), I asked her if she had everything. She said she did and she had even brought a book so she didn’t have to socialize during lunch.

Hmmm.

Abby isn’t big on meeting new people, but I wanted to encourage her, so I said, “How about this? Can you meet one new person and learn their name?” She decided she could do that. At the end of the day, she proudly told me that she had met, not just one, but two new people! In fact, one of those she met was because of the book that she brought. I think for her “meet new people” is a bit too open-ended, but “Meet one person” is something she can wrap her head around.

Many people run into the same problem when they go to a networking event. It feels too big and open-ended. What helps is setting very specific goals. Then you know when you are done. So, what are some reasonable goals, easy or challenging?

• Meet one person and learn their name. Hey, don’t mess with perfection.
• Meet two people and learn their names. OK, you see the progression there. It’s only limited by the time available.
• Meet x people, learn their name and what they do. Again, start with 1 and move up as you would like a more challenging goal.
• Meet x people, learn their name, what they do, and some challenge they are facing in the near future. When you understand the difficulties they might be facing, you may be able to connect them to resources that will make you immediately part of their inner circle. It could also lead to the next goal…
• Introduce two people. When you are to the point where you are asking about their challenges, why not connect them with someone else you know who might be able to help with them?
• Check out this new event. With this last one, know exactly what you are looking for. Do you want to make sure a particular group is attending? Are you seeing how many new attendees are there? Are you checking to see if there is enough time to interact with your fellow attendees?

Having a specific goal to achieve will make your networking efforts more productive. You will know whether you were successful or not and can adjust your expectations accordingly.

Best of all, you don’t have to feel like it’s your first day of middle school.

What is your next networking opportunity and what goal are you going to set?

Image credit: Santeri Viinamäki, CC BY 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons

The post 6 Tips to Aim for Your Networking Bullseye first appeared on Greg Peters.

“And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.”
~ Friedrich Nietzsche

I used to hate going to dances in junior high school. I always felt awkward. I wanted to be like the cool kids, but I didn’t know how to dance. And, no, Mom, I’m not going to go up to one of my classmates and admit that I don’t know how to dance and then ask them to teach me! They already think I’m a nerd! I don’t need to slip any further into social ridicule and pariahhood!

But I digress.

I think many of us have similar feelings when it comes to attending networking opportunities. Whether they be professional or social events, it can often feel like an awkward and unnatural environment. We don’t know how to “dance” with the other attendees, and walking up and admitting we don’t know how to connect with other human beings would probably land us on their “weird” list.

The cool thing is, we really only need to know one or two moves and we can be out there dancing with the rest of the beautiful people. Put on your favorite music and follow the simple step-by-step.

• Put on your host shoes. Your only concern is to make the other person welcome and comfortable. Pretend you are the host and they are your guest.
• Find a dance partner. Ideally, find a singleton who looks like they need rescuing, but don’t be afraid to join a larger group.
• Take the lead. Don’t worry about what you are going to say. Think about what you are going to ask. Ask the questions you want them to ask you.
• Share the spotlight. Be interested, curious, and fascinated about the answers they give you. If they ask a question, answer, but always return your attention to them.
• Hold off on dipping. Don’t push the conversation beyond what is comfortable at the relationship level. Remember, your goal is for them to feel comfortable.
• Don’t hog their dance card. If they seem inclined to continue their networking, let them go with a promise to follow up for a longer dance/conversation at a later point.
• Be with the one you’re with. The person you are with deserves your full attention. Only after you have separated should you look for a new conversational partner.

As with dancing, networking conversations are mostly about meeting your partner where they are, keeping your focus on them, and not stepping on their toes. The next time you are at a networking event, take a moment to get settled, then get out on the dance floor. You never know when that next partner will be the one that sweeps you to your next success.

What is your favorite question to ask to create a great conversation?

Image Credit: ToddCombs, CC BY-SA 4.0 , via Wikimedia Commons

The post Dance to Networking Success! first appeared on Greg Peters.

“I like being a part of something. I like participating and being part of a group.”
~Andie MacDowell

When it comes to networking, are you a be-er or a do-er? The secret to success? Sometimes you have to be a little bit of both. I guess I should first explain what I mean by be-er and do-er.

Not long ago Elizabeth and I went to Ireland for the first time. We spent a week there just having a lovely vacation except, as always, we ran into one of the challenges that we have when we travel together.

She’s a do-er and I’m a be-er.

When I go on a trip, whether it’s Italy or Ireland or even just going up North, I like to be in a place, I like to experience the sounds, the sights, and the “feel” of a place. I don’t need to go anywhere to do that. I can sit on a bench with a book and a refreshing beverage and I’m happy as can be.

My wife, on the other hand, she likes to do things. She wants to go on tours and see all the sites around. She loves museums and galleries and would even love to take a class on local cuisine or architecture. Between the two of us, it’s a little challenging because I really feel uncomfortable if I don’t get a chance to sit and be quiet and experience the place and she doesn’t like to miss out on all the opportunities that a new location offers.

The truth is, we each contribute something to the experience. We might grab our books and go sit in the hotel library for the evening. The next day we might go on a hike along the ocean. Sometimes we even split up so she can go and do and I can sit and be. Ireland, like our other travels together ended up being a wonderful time. We both got what we needed from the experience.

Networking is a little like that. To be truly successful, you need to have both the be-er and the do-er mindset when you’re approaching networking. Let’s look at how that plays out in different networking situations.

• Joining groups or attending regular meetings for a group.
  The be-er: You have to be in a group for quite a while before you start experiencing the benefits. You need to experience the culture and the regular cycles of the events it hosts. You can’t rimply show up and expect to see the results you want. You have to be there for a while and become a part of the group.
  The do-er: You have to participate. You have to attend the events. It’s not enough just to have your name on the rolls. In fact, to be truly successful, you need to go beyond simply attending. You need become an active part of that community. Look for opportunities to volunteer.
• Cultivating professional relationships.
  The be-er: You have to be willing to simply be in that relationship for as long as it takes, without expectations of immediate returns. You have to be willing to let it flow naturally — not force it. The do-er: You actually have to make an effort. Unfortunately, most people are not willing to go to the effort of continuing to develop relationships. That means that you have to be the one who takes responsibility. You have to be the one who calls and says, “Hey, let’s get together for coffee.” You have to be the one who arranges opportunities for you both to be together so that you can continue to develop the connection.
• Getting referrals.
  The be-er: Before you get your needs met, you have to be with that person and establish that trusted relationship. That means taking the time to be quiet and listen to the problems that are foremost on their mind. This is to show that you are there for them as a person, not targeting them as a prospect.
  The do-er: This is actually a two-parter. First, you must work actively to be of service to them. Whenever possible connect them with the solutions that will make them more effective. Second, once the relationship is strong, you have to ask for help. You must expose your vulnerability. You must take an active part in this process of asking for referrals.

Remember being a successful networker is just like having a successful vacation. You need both the be-er aspects and the do-er aspects so that together you get the results you want.

If you would like to hire Greg to speak at your organization’s next event, click here.

Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

The post 3 Networking Activities You Must Both Be and Do for Success first appeared on Greg Peters.

“I know that each of us has much to do. Sometimes we feel overwhelmed by the tasks we face. But if we keep our priorities in order, we can accomplish all that we should. We can endure to the end regardless of temptations, problems, and challenges.”
~ Joseph B. Wirthlin

Have you ever felt like your networking gas tank is on empty?

Several months ago I was working with one of my recurring clients. They bring me in about once every two months to work on their training program — a week long, full day, every day event. And I will admit by the end of these sessions, I’m usually pretty tired. This time, though, for some reason, was worse for me.

On the surface, it was the same as all the others I’d done in the past. It was the same content, the same program. It lasted the same amount of time. But by the end of the week I was just exhausted.  Every night I would come home and I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I’m normally a night owl, but I was in bed by 9:30 (which for me is really early). After the whole week was over, I thought a lot about my lack of energy. Why was I so tired all the time? Was I getting sick?

Then I realized what had happened. You see, we moved the training from our normal location. They’d had a water main break and so we had to relocate to a different hotel. It was a beautiful place. The problem was the space was just a little bit smaller than what we had had in our normal location. As a result, there was no place I could go to be alone.

Many people don’t believe it, but I am actually an introvert, which means I don’t get energy from the people around me. In fact, being in a crowd drains me. If I don’t have that quiet space where I can go to be alone and recharge, it exhausts me.

Does this happen to you? You go to a networking event and you are surrounded by all these great and interesting people – possibly one or two who might connect you with your next great opportunity. Instead of feeling energized, though, you suddenly realize you are getting worn out. They haven’t even served lunch! That was me. Back when I started networking, I had about twenty minutes at any given networking event before, I was done.

So what can you do to deal with that? Obviously you still want to go out and network. You still need to go to those events so you can meet new people, but you’re not going to be particularly effective when the gas tank is on empty. Here are some ideas that might help you be more successful when you do attend those events.

• Know your limits. If you are just strong enough that you can barely lift a fifty pound bag of flour, trying to lift a hundred pound bag is probably not going to be good for you. You’ll hurt yourself. Similarly, if you know that you’ve got about twenty minutes of networking before you’re exhausted, be aware of that. You need to get your networking done in those twenty minutes, because after that, you’re not going to be particularly successful.
• Have a goal when you walk in. Know why you’re there and what you’re trying to achieve. Many people go to these networking events and they don’t know when they are done. That in and of itself is exhausting because it’s like running a race and never knowing where the finish line is. Knowing when it’s going to be over means you can better manage your energy. What you want to achieve when you get there? Do you want to meet two new people? Three new people? Do you want to have a deeper conversation with one person? Whatever it is, make sure you know what it is before you walk in.
• Know how you can find relief. If you are like me and you don’t gain energy from being around a lot of people, you might need to step outside for a few minutes just to clear your head and recharge. If it’s a longer program, such as a multi-day conference, find a spot where you can sit quietly and just be by yourself. I always recommend if you are staying at the event venue, maybe skip a session, go up and sit quietly in your hotel room. You need to recharge, because if you don’t have the energy, you can’t make the connections.
• Understand that this is just like any other muscle. You can build it. As I mentioned, when I started out, I had about twenty minutes in me before I was done. But now I can last about a day and a half before I’m exhausted.
  
  If you are like this, too, and you only have twenty minutes in you, could you push it for just five more minutes? Just meet one more person.  Or maybe you can use those few extra minutes talking with someone you already know and reconnecting with them. Whatever it is, push yourself just a little bit, because each time you do, you strengthen your networking muscle. Before you know it, everyone will think you are the outgoing natural networker.

Hey, I understand. My gas tank gets empty just like anybody else’s. Be aware of it, but don’t let it stop you. You can be a great networker even if your tank only lasts for twenty minutes right now.

If you would like to hire Greg to speak at your organization’s next event, click here.

Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

The post 4 Tactics to Deal with an Empty Networking Gas Tank first appeared on Greg Peters.

“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

Have you got a good feel for your networking groups? Sometimes you join these groups and they just don’t feel right no matter how long you participate. Do you ever wonder why?

I was thinking about my daughter, Kaylie. She’s twelve now. Throughout her life, from the time she was a baby, she would experience the world through more than just her sight. She had to touch everything. I will admit, sometimes it’s kind of annoying, especially if you happen to have just cleaned that window that she is now running her hands over.

She particularly loves to touch things outside. She touches the leaves. She touches the flowers. She runs her hand along the brick wall. She has to feel what everything feels like. She needs to know the texture is. She needs to know the shape, the size. She needs to actually experience it. I could read from a reference manual to tell her all the details about a tree, but she wouldn’t know the tree until she felt it.

This idea ties into your networking success — especially when you consider the groups that you belong to or the regular events that you attend. There is information you can find out about those groups by going on their website or by talking to the person who organizes the event. You can find out whether or not the group has the kind of members that you want to meet. You can find out if they meet in a location that you can attend or they follow a schedule that works for your lifestyle. You can find out the costs involved — the membership dues, the event registration fees, or how much it costs to sponsor an event.

All of these things you can find out through a little research. You should! You need to know these factors to determine whether or not this group or this event is even a good candidate for you. Notice I said not a good “fit” but a good “candidate”. You have to go beyond that. You actually need to feel it. You need to experience it.

What are some of the things that you can only find out by experiencing them?

• Are the people you want to meet really a part of this group? People join groups for different reasons. Sometimes they want to network. Sometimes they get discounts. Maybe they are there to maintain their professional certifications. Whatever the reason, they might not actually attend the events. You need to actually go and be there a time or two or three before you join to determine whether or not the people you want to meet actually show up.
• Is it stale? Some groups, they do the same thing over and over and over and over again. That’s not necessarily bad. The problem is, if they never change, they’re never attracting new people. They’re never reviving their existing membership because no one wants to be doing the exact same thing over and over and over and over again. If all you’re doing is showing up at the same meeting every single time and the topics are the same every single time and the attendees are the same, every single time, it’s going to start getting boring pretty quickly. After a while you’ll start finding excuses not to go. You’ll start looking for different experiences.
  Back when I was a part of the Ann Arbor Chamber of Commerce, they had events that that were all over the place. Of course, they had their networking programs where everyone shows up at a hotel ballroom and enjoys a buffet lunch and a speaker, but they also had ones where you would go to the local speedway and watch a race. I went to one at a local college football game. I know there was another skeet shooting range. These different events might attract a different group of people whom you might not have met at the traditional luncheon.
• How do you feel? As a newcomer, do you feel welcomed? This is important. If they didn’t make an effort to make you comfortable and start connecting you in your first meeting, then others will probably feel the same way. If visitors aren’t becoming members, the group is in danger of evaporating. If you show up at the events, and it’s always the exact same people over and over again, you’re not meeting anyone new. This may not be a good fit for you.

When you are looking for groups to join or even when you’re evaluating the groups in which you already participate, if they’re not feeling right, it may be because while they look right on paper, the “feel” is wrong. Go and experience your groups with a new mindset — to figure out whether this is a good feel and a good fit for you. You might find that you’re a little bit more successful in the long run.

Photo from pxfuel.com

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The post 3 Factors for Networking Success You Won’t Find on Their Website first appeared on Greg Peters.