The Resigned Gamer

A Druid's Duel: Surrender

2015-06-01T08:00:00.000-04:00

Some things are over before they start, but most are just over before they end. It's dizzying to circle a drain, ever more the slower it flows, as we wonder what we could have done, should have done, might still do. Yet the die was cast in our first few moves, when all we saw was a world of possibility. So we flap and flail, douse and bail, because playing out the string seems the sporting thing, and eventually our only option. The hardest things to acknowledge are often the most obvious. But our capacity for reinvention is always vaster than it feels, just as our time in which to do it is always shorter than it seems. Try again?

Thanks to Voodoo32.dll for documenting the journey to defeat.

A Druid's Duel

Dust, an Elysian Tale: You speak to me. Please stop.

2015-05-08T11:04:00.000-04:00

I don't tend to take much stock in things I hear from talking rabbits, and haven't been able or interested to follow the plot of a tale told in Japstrionics since Akira, but Dust was a rodent I could relate to.

For I, too, contain a rage capable of immolating all injustice with a thousand rapid blows.

For I, too, contain an empathy capable of effacing all efforts with duty and guilt.

And for I, too, am inseparable from a high-pitched chorus always buzzing in my ear.

Also we both wish we were Princess Gwendolyn.

thanks to Dosala1 for capturing the game's best moment so well.

Dust: an Elysian Tale

Thomas Was Alone: Tell me something pretty

2015-04-13T22:43:00.002-04:00

I tell myself that the boxes I stare at all day matter. Everyone does it. We are what we do, after all, and who wants to be pointless? Telling stories is part of what of separates us from the beasts and bots. Or at least that's part of the story we tell ourselves. Our loyalty to these stories is limitless, which is what makes it so painful when they end, but our capacity to create new ones also knows no bounds, which is what keeps us going.

Thanks to SMlt 117 for seeing what I couldn't, and to Mike Bithell and David Housden for this amazing experience.

Thomas Was Alone

Risk of Rain: Be here now

2015-03-16T14:26:00.001-04:00

The stimuli we surround ourselves with is easily turned off, but what about the thoughts in our heads? Some days it seems I can't stop replaying the same scenarios to their unsatisfactory end, always just a step behind where they began. I miss so much this way, mind astray from the pleasures of today. And it's not them- it's me. Standing still is death, but the crowd carried with you cannot be escaped. All we can change is ourselves. Get stronger, and hold tight to whatever helps you through. Because it really does just get more difficult.

Risk of Rain

And thanks to freakhunter for the screenshot. I'm dead long before this shit happens.

Resigned Gamer Returns?

2015-03-06T12:35:00.001-05:00

There are a lot of reasons I stopped writing Resigned Gamer, but in hindsight I think the most important reason is that I stopped being resigned. In fact, over the past few years, I've become overwhelmed with optimism. Sure all the new console games still suck, and I can’t look at someone’s screen on the subway without seeing Candy Crush, but why does that have to be my problem?

I stopped playing PC games around the PS2 era. I never got into Steam, and completely missed the indie renaissance that was springing up everywhere, and is now in full bloom. Then, as a wedding present, Doomeru (bless his useless heart) built me my very own custom gaming compy. Oh yeah, I got married, too. And Doomeru and his Flower Girl now have two sons! The older one, who is 3, is learning his (ragdoll) physics from Trials Fusion and how to be a good big brother from “The Brothers Game” (just don’t tell him how it ends).

But anyway, I feel like I’ve been living in The Saboteur all these years- the whole black & white world thing, not the whole inattentive Nazis everywhere thing- and suddenly I’m seeing what will be instead of what was. It started dawning on me with Osmos and SpaceChem, and I’ve been hooked on indie games ever since. Since this blog went dormant I’ve systematically devoured, in regrettably undocumented but roughly chronological order: Hotline Miami, Space Pirates and Zombies, Ring Runner, Shank, Bastion, Unity of Command, Frozen Synapse, Ironclad Tactics, Mark of the Ninja, Limbo, TheSwapper, Steamworld Dig, Papers Please, Hoplite, Halfway, Calculords, Shank 2, Gemini Rue, Mercenary Kings, Unepic, Super Motherload, Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet, Rogue Legacy, Guacamelee, Out There, Ittle Dew, Deadlight, Super Win The Game, Capsized, Ravenmark SOE, and The Banner Saga. They’ve all been absolutely amazing experiences that I wish I’d wrote about while playing, but I’m unaccustomed to saying anything that isn’t self-deprecatory or snark. I’ll try to change that moving forward.

Another reason I stopped pouring my frustrations into this bitter pothole of the internet is that I finally escaped the newspaper industry. I ~~took an extended vacation~~ earned an MBA at the University of Michigan (go blue…beat bama…or something…), and now I ~~pretend to~~ work in Corporate Finance! It’s not exactly exhilarating, but I don’t bring it home with me. It also leaves me unoccupied enough to ponder a question: Can Doomeru and I become indie game investors?

So we’ve started reaching out to indie developers who are working on games we’d love to play. We’re going to try to follow the example (and terms) of the amazing Indie Fund, and by working on a limited, per-project basis, hope to identify people we could form more meaningful, long-term relationships with. Hopefully we’ll find a way to participate in this world we've always been passionate about, but on the outside of. Hopefully we’ll learn something without losing our shirts. I’ll let you know how it goes...

Dark Souls 2: All we have is time

2014-11-24T06:00:00.000-05:00

Daunting as it all is, the hardest part is getting out of bed in the morning; Convincing ourselves to leave the warmth of respite for a world which leaves us half dead and empty inside, once and once again. We grow stronger, more accustomed, true, but on pace with each inane demand, that's trickier to do. So we seek someone to lean on, earn our achievements by halves and thirds and say that helping helps the helper so it all evens out. All at once we wonder how our actions could ever guide another through this fog, and if someone somewhere will ever reach out for us. I'm here, I showed up, I'm waiting, tracking trails of tales of deeds when life is in the doing, making mine no life at all. By comparison it's easier, smoother, simpler, and would I rather spill my blood? Yes- for souls aren't lost in losing, just carelessness and falls. Toss it all in the fire, my friend, let's see what you can do.

SpaceChem: action, reaction

2013-01-08T18:26:00.003-05:00

Have no idea what's going on here? Neither do I.

When was the last time a game truly challenged you? Okay, besides Dark Souls.

When was the last time a game not only challenged you, but was a challenge for you to even play?

SpaceChem has stretched my brain far further then my corporate finance class ever could, and I've barely even scratched the surface.

Maybe it's just because my mind doesn't work like an engineer's or a programmer's, but shouldn't that be the point? To challenge the way we think, push ourselves beyond our comfort zones, and from all our fruitless fumbling find satisfaction?

SpaceChem

Skyrim: the world is not enough

2012-08-07T13:20:00.000-04:00

67 hours, 35 minutes, 56 seconds, and absolutely no satisfaction or closure to speak of.

Yes, a lot of people put a lot of love in this game. Yes, it is broad and deep and finally brings the RPG genre full circle with Sandbox gaming. Yes, I could have sunk another 100 hours into it without seeing everything, stupid "radiant quest" gimmick notwithstanding.

But here's the thing:

I don't need another world. Dealing with my own is already more fun and frustration than I can handle. What I need are stories that inspire me, challenges that reward me, and something that actually qualifies as a game. Preferably without thirty seconds of loading for every minute of playing.

Unless I can steal cars. And get fat.

LostStar Tactics: picking your battles

2012-07-11T13:46:00.000-04:00

The Death Frost Forest is passable, but death frosty.

5 to 11? Sounds fair to me.

Great winners pick good losers, and knowing is half the battle.

LostStar Tactics is all about finding the fights you can walk away from, and going into them with the right equipment.

There is no fight worth fighting where you won't have less experience and/or less allies than the opposition, but the the particulars of every pawn are available before each battle, and it's your choice who to fight and when to fight them.

Attack too soon, and you'll waste precious time retreating, which cuts off access to certain opportunities. Wait too long, and results are the same.

The path is neither straight nor marked, but it does exist and can be found.

Dead Space 2: not alive

2012-06-27T13:32:00.001-04:00

Smooth, unobjectionable Isaac Clarke...now with talking!

I remember thoroughly enjoying Dead Space, but nothing else about it. Playing through the sequel reminded me why.

This franchise is polished and playable, with a pleasing aesthetic, but entirely unremarkable.

The only thing I have to say about Dead Space is that there’s nothing to say about Dead Space. Which I guess is fine- I thoroughly enjoyed the Uncharted series as well, but couldn’t write anything worth the kilobytes there either.

At least the vomitous proliferation of sequel and spinoff keeps this creeping necromorphism contained within titles…

Dead Space 2: what they say about chivalry

2012-06-27T13:13:00.000-04:00

I am all for breaking down the wall between games and their cinematics, but with new cinematography comes new requirements for the suspension of disbelief…

Seriously Isaac, we've stockpiled like forty-seven health packs.

Dead Space Extraction: exhausting

2012-06-27T13:05:00.000-04:00

Dear Electronic Arts, Since some unscalable providence has caused you to publish a franchise I can sit through, indulge me this unsolicited advice on how you’ll best monetize it:

Being constantly startled is not the same as being scared.

Hurtling forward is not the same as having momentum.

Running everywhere does not make you fast-paced, and causes you to miss things, like ammo, health, or plot.

Making dialogue unskippable does not make it compelling.

And the last time anyone was shaken by a rail shooter, it involved hydraulics…no, that doesn’t mean you should make a peripheral.

LA Noire: as fun as a black & white movie

2012-05-23T18:30:00.001-04:00

Interviewing characters in LA Noire is so lifelike, it's almost like you're playing a real video game.

And for all the impact your choices of whom to pursue, and your performances to that effect have on future events, that video game, were it to be a video game (oh god let's hope no one ever makes it into a video game), would be The Wire.

Were it not for the immense respect I have for Rockstar, I would have quit this "game" in 20 minutes.

Don't get me wrong- I was raised on Touch & Clicks, and learned how to type from their predecessors, yelling the proof of age questions for Leisure Suit Larry 1-3 to my bachelor dad in the bath tub. LA Noire has just as much game as they do, but it doesn't have a hyperspeed button or enter key (or a hilarious text parser).

And fine, I get it, paying attention to the cutscenes and dialogue is essential to following the intricately unfolded plot and to catching people in their lies, and I should stop restarting every time I mess up and just live with the consequences, but what consequences are there to live with? Maybe if I'd known that none of it would ever matter I might not have tried so hard, but then I really doubt I could have kept playing. And if you really wanted to "immerse" me in detective grays, never truly knowing when what I did was wrong, then why'd you rub my face in it with every question and then slap me with a score?

Thank god I figured out that you can quit between interview questions without causing an auto-save, or else you'd have to call me a grudge gamer (apparently Sam Houser originally suggested Grudge Games as a name for their label...see Rockstar, I roll deep! ...David Kushner would do better writing for Seventeen, by the way...)

And back to that twisted yarn whose cinematics were too important to cut: don't kid yourself.

Every Rockstar plot boils down to an outsider anti-hero with a flexible moral code and unending patience overcoming adversity through being exponentially smarter and more capable than whoever is bossing them around, culminating in their inevitable A) long-foreshadowed betrayal by closest friends in a manner that satisfyingly portrays societal hypocrisies but often results in death, B) elevation to overlord of a vast and intricate world in which they meander free, with a curious whimsy and relative impunity, or C) all of the above.

I hate to criticize some of the only people in this industry who take risks with, and ownership of, their product, but there it is. All shit stinks, even when it comes from a rockstar.

Draw Something: Say Anything

2012-04-26T20:52:00.000-04:00

There have been times when I've seen my life as a series of failures to communicate. My temptation is to turn inward, but at times like these the opposite is all the more important. We must flail, gyrate, and gesticulate, try anything to separate the truth from noise. Otherwise it's all just charades.

My cousin didn't get it...

A moment of clarity!

I know how you feel, Charlie Brown.

Dead Island: dead inside

2012-04-18T23:39:00.001-04:00

I wonder how he got up there...

Whenever I'm eating shit, I always try to pick out the most digestible clumps.

Like Dead Island, for instance, which seldom stretches out an excursion, or finds itself floating around after the moment has passed. Just straight onto the next fetch quest.

I can't think of any other games brave enough to let you run away from 85% of their challenges- unless you count Mirror's Edge, but who would do a thing like that to themselves?

On further reflection, "run past" is probably more accurate than "run away," seeing as how the amount of zombies on screen never nears the amount it would take to obstruct someone, let alone threaten them...Seriously, this game throws more F-bombs at you than zombies, and we're all immune to infection here anyway, right? Gosh that's so convenient!

But it wasn't this Tourettes-inspired dialogue or epic misunderstanding of what makes zombies any more compelling than subway panhandlers that bothered me...I wasn't even particularly put off wondering where all the straight-jacketed linebacker zombies came from...

What I never recovered from was how, even before your character learns that zombie apocalypse has struck, leaving wads of cash and candy bars in every conceivable corner and cabinet, they have no compunction against walking into the neighboring hotel room and looting it.

Resigned Gamer Rule #6: Always pick the large black man.

Dark Souls: Bowling Alone

2012-03-28T17:49:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I finally finished Dark Souls, and uncharacteristically enough, I did indeed start over again immediately.

I enjoyed revisiting old friends and foes, and knowing now what I didn't then, I enjoyed killing them. But it grew stale and I realized whatever fun was to be had on a second play-thru had to mostly be in multiplayer.

So I doubled down on being uncharacteristic and took a tour of the covenants, none of which I'd bothered with on my first play-thru.

I tried the Forest Hunters first, who are summoned to protect the Darkroot Garden from pesky snow-mobilers (incidentally: the idea of wilderness does not need defenders, just some crazy wolf trees and bad-ass mushroom people) but quickly found that going up against someone with at least 10 health potions while I was allowed none wouldn't exactly be a fair fight.

So then I tried the Blade of the Darkmoon, and was summoned to a room not even a third the size of the forest, where two people were standing around waiting to pound me, not three steps away.

So I figured I'd just play through a bit more, level up, see the sights, finally use all that humanity I'd saved, and along came a pantsless guy in a turban, waving what looked to be a gigantic red turd in my general vicinity. He smooshed it into the ground, and I guess I must have died from the sheer stink of it. He bowed.

I thought about jumping through the hoops required to join the Darkwraiths, where at least the invasion occurs at a time and place of my choosing, rather than asshole waiting to farm me, but then what? Spend ten minutes running around looking for them, for maybe a thirty second fight?

I'm sure I could have tried a bit harder and a bit longer, but my impression of the people playing PVP was that they were all running one scam or another. And sure, I could have evened the odds a bit, used a talisman to prevent them from healing, joined the Gravelord Servants to push others into invasions, or I could have walked The Path of the Dragon, but that path is just too damn long. Seriously, that shit is like going all the way to Queens for a cheap taco and a handjob.

I suppose, like the people who write stupid or misleading messages all over the floor, if you don't enjoy fucking with people, then there just isn't much fun in it. If anything, I got a chance to step outside my anti-social, bitter self and remember exactly why I don't play well with others...Because they aren't worth playing with.

Solomon's Boneyard: Until you are dead.

2012-03-19T20:49:00.006-04:00

If I didn't know better, I'd think this game was some kind of sick joke. Locked in an ill-maintained cemetery after hours, scratching in the dirt for coins to unlock perks to help you find more coins to unlock perks to give you more rings to help you find more coins to unlock more perks to have better magic to prevent the ceaseless flood of undead from bumping-into-you-to-death for an extra 30 seconds this time. And then again.

No, the cemetery gate is not an unlockable perk.

Trying to remember the spell for jumping over fences...

Yes, I could have gotten all those perks sooner by paying a buck or two, but what fun would that have been? Seriously, who does that? A ceaseless horde of Walking Dead, you say? Thanks, I'll stay inside the gate.

Where have I been?

2012-03-01T21:07:00.004-05:00

Excuses, excuses all, I know, but I just can't seem to finish a game. I like the credits to roll before I say anything, but to be honest I just haven't felt like writing, because I haven't felt like talking, because I haven't felt like thinking. I still don't.

I've logged over 70 hours down the rabbit hole with Dark Souls, and though the end is still a little ways off I'm already contemplating New Game +, which is not something I ever do. I already started over from the beginning about 30 hours in, which I also normally cannot abide. I haven't tried to follow the story or how the game progresses- I believe insanity is caused by trying to understand the unintelligible- but I can't put this game down...I've avoided enlisting or invading others in my quest, and remained a shriveled and solitary hollow in an endlessly expanding world, equal parts abusive and fair, unsympathetic and forgiving, full of unsolicited advice and silence. I like it this way.

I've also been playing Battle for Wesnoth and Solomon's Boneyard, which I'll try to write something about soon. For now, I play Dark Souls.

Red Faction, Guerilla: putting the fun back in martyrdom

2012-01-17T00:03:00.000-05:00

You know how in Sandbox games, no matter how much chaos you cause and people you kill, the cops lose interest once a mission is completed?

Red Faction Guerilla is no different when it comes to missions, but not during the aimless property destruction required to unlock those missions.

This leads the Mars occupiers to employ ruthless asymmetry against window smashers, and go to lunch while their barracks burn, but more importantly, committing acts of petty sedition produces the most accurate simulation of an insurgency campaign ever played:

You don't go into these attacks expecting to come out alive and seldom do. All that matters is hurting the target, and there is no shortage of (strangely similar looking) people who'll die to do it. Morale does not improve as control wanes, and after the army is forced to withdraw from an area it becomes overrun by truckloads of gibbering savages who'd been hiding out in the mountains.

Ooh, I wonder if he'll vote for the moderate party!

Demon's Souls: tough but fair

2011-12-13T10:28:00.005-05:00

GOAT!

I'd hoped that Demon's Souls would be a goldmine for this blog, rife with metaphor about frustration, imbalance, and loss, and I suppose it could have been if I'd just never played it.

It turns out we've become so accustomed to the coddling of games designed to smoothly progress from point A to point B to point Buy the Sequel that a little bit of learning curve seems daunting.
The problem isn't Demon's Souls...It's us. If you still haven't played it, you really should.

Below are my responses to some common reasons people cite when in angst or awe of this game's supposed outrageous difficulty:

If you die, you lose all your souls (spent on leveling and as money)

Retrace your steps to the bloodstain which appears about 5 seconds from where you were standing and you can have them back.

Also, you don't lose any items including the "canned souls" strewn about the game.

Lots of guys can kill you with one or two hits

Good thing you've got infinite continues! Lesson learned? See above.

At any time, other people can come into your game and kill you

Only other people at comparable levels, only one at a time, only in certain areas, and only while you are "alive" and they are "in soul form," meaning their hit points are halved. And if they don't succeed, they'll go down a level.

Oh and that whole "alive" thing...yeah it doesn't happen too often.

But I don't want to be in soul form! I've only got half my health!

Cling ring.

Or volunteer to help someone else kill a boss. Or go kill a boss yourself. Just keep stuffing watercress in your mouth and you'll be fine. Or use one of those magic rocks! Rare and valuable resource, you say? Pah, I've got 30 in my Thomas!

But seriously. Cling ring.

You can't pause!

"oh honey, I would love to look at those baby pictures with you, but you know this crazy game I'm playing won't let me pause! I told you about that right? Isn't it crazy?!?"

I think that just about covers it. True, there are some dick moves the game will pull, like making you struggle to earn magic swords you're not strong enough to wield, or letting Yurt the Silent Chief kill all your Nexus pals, but he likely won't take out anyone that important, and would anyone really miss this prick?

harumph!

And on the flip side, how many games give you experience points when bad guys fall off a cliff?

Happiness is a warm spittled gun

2011-12-05T22:03:00.001-05:00

Holiday shopping for Doomeru Jr. today, I came across the gift no infant should go without this season:

And it's organic!

Here's the link. Better get yours fast, it was a recent Etsy favorite!

Me, I'm going with the Super Mushroom teether. Double baby's size or your money back...if mushroom turns purple remove from child's mouth immediately and proceed to nearest hospital.

Red Dead Redemption: Rawhide

2011-12-04T10:30:00.001-05:00

giddy up...please, god, just giddy up...

There are two reasons why smart young African American men like CJ Johnson become carjacking criminals, and they have nothing to do with 400 years of historical oppression or an inherently biased socioeconomic system: It’s because most jobs are not feasible via mass transit, and all other means of transportation available require constant mashing of the accelerator button.

Do we see illegal aliens straining their fingers this way? No sir. Yet now, when it comes to putting honest American family men like John Marston back to work, we require them to rely on this same method, even after it’s proven to cause repetitive-stress injuries and the commission of felonies? For so called “Realism?” I can see a rather European type of “ism” but it isn’t the one that begins with “real!” Holding down the button was good enough to simulate equine gait stimulation in GUN, and the approach is just as strong today.

Are there no depths of depravity to which you won’t sink, Rockstar? Not if I have anything to say about it! God bless my loyal listeners, and God bless America.

Red Dead Redemption, Undead Nightmare: Occam's Gayzor

2011-12-03T21:15:00.003-05:00

I’d really love to know what inspired Rockstar to make the jump from Western to Zombies in this DLC. It was ingenious how well it fit, and so complementary of their signature satirical humor.

Even though the amount of repetitiveness between missions was more than usual, I had to play through if only to learn what caused the dead to walk amongst us in a tableau of irrevocable pain, misery and fear. I know, I know, Rockstar isn’t generally known for their gripping storylines and it’s really not supposed to matter why…Zombie Apocalypse is an inevitable given; The important questions lie with how the living choose to live, morality, humanity, practicality, and such…But hell with all that, the reason I couldn’t put this game down was because I needed to know how it would end.

The simplest, most logical explanation always gives good odds though, and in hindsight I really could have guessed. It was those damned Mexicans again!

Alpha Protocol: Agency

2011-11-12T22:09:00.000-05:00

Are we what we do, or doing what we are?

To what extent are we born blank slates, becoming only what we know?

Most doors never really close. Even at the end we can turn it all around,
but an asp must be an asp, and we remain, as ever, animals.

We like to think it is choice that sets us apart,
but we do what we must and despite the details, it always ends the same.
Nevertheless, it's those details that make our lives our own. Live well.

Colorful Goo: my new painting blog

2011-10-28T13:57:00.003-04:00

I've been somewhat at a loss for words, recently. Most of what I've got has been siphoned off into writing Business School applications. I've started a new project, taking close-up photographs of my paintings, and would love you guys to check it out.

Colorful Goo on Blogspot
Colorful Goo on Flickr