The Rest is Cream Cheese

Friday Fun: Space Edition!

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 19:57:00 +0000

It’s payday, which means my husband and I will order a slightly fancy pizza tonight – leftovers be damned! But, the fact that in mere hours my stomach will be filled with half of a large pizza got me thinking of a different kind of space…the vastness of it all…the infinite number of pizzas that might be in OUTER space. Just what the heck is going on out there?

Well, this week, quite a bit.

Extremophile, take me to your leader.

We're not alone. Bill Nye former Science Guy says so. 'Nuff said.

But, the Science Guy of the last several moment, Neil DeGrasse Tyson is sort my favorite person lately. He wrote a book. And by golly, I might read it.

The International Space Station (yeah, that's still a thing) is a super dangerous place to be because the Earth's orbit has a littering problem. Read all about it over on The Beast. And check out the authors profile pic. The way he's handling that phone...that's hot.

Attention nerds, NASA wants you to help them do their job! Basically, you go to Hubble's Flickr page, you edit some photos and then submit them to a contest for an iPad. I can think of less convoluted ways to get free Photoshop work, Government. Read more about it, or don't. Whatever, I'm bored of heavenly celestial clouds and Godlike nebulae.

And finally, my favorite outsider artist that's got a thing for this particular redhead (yeah, he totes hit on my once, jealous?), Daniel Johnston has, I can only assume, been coerced into making an iPad game. Behold - Space Ducks. Quick, someone give me $700 so I can review this game!

Have a great weekend, everybody!

Game of Thrones,Season 2: Totally Obvious Predictions

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Wed, 28 Mar 2012 16:00:00 +0000

Yeah, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Game of Thrones starts up again on the old Home Box Office network this Sunday night. And I figured that just because I haven’t read the George R.R. Martin novels it doesn’t mean that I can’t offer up my predictions for season two. I’ve read other books, so that’s basically the same thing, right?

“Read more” for the proposed plot points! (Season 1 spoilers be ahead, arg.)

“If your father, Drogo, were still alive…”

1. The Targaryen dragon babies reach their terrible twos and burninate a few villages along with their peasants. Daenerys puts them in the time out corner until they are ready to do her bidding and reclaim the throne.

2. Stark bastard, Jon Snow finds out that in every generation there is a chosen one. They alone will stand against the vampires, the demons, the surprisingly strong undead, and the forces of winter. Jon is the zombie slayer.

3. The ghost of unjustly executed Eddard Stark compels eldest daughter Sansa to put on a play to finally expose the incestuously duplicitous Lannisters, but she has an existential crisis, yadda yadda yadda, everyone dies.

4. Incognito “boy” Arya plans to go all Inigo Montoya on Joffery's ass for having her father beheaded, but only if she can find an evil genius and good natured giant to help her find a way south.

Here's to you, Chester.

5. Tyrion Lannister figures out that the famed Throne of Swords is actually a cleverly disguised organ and when the correct notes are played it triggers the opening of a secret door to a forgotten cavern filled with treasures of a long dead one-eyed pirate.

Quick Bite: Meek's Cutoff

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Mon, 26 Mar 2012 12:30:00 +0000

A belated DVD review, just for you!

The stark plains and the dust that chokes the air in Meek's Cutoff makes The Searchers (which I just re-watched) seem like a really political Disney film, but then again the soundtrack of the 1956 classic seems to be from another much funnier film. Dark themes of alienation, racism and masculinity are nearly hidden behind a seemingly random score and a few bits of strained comedy. I seemed to only recall what Marty told us about The Searchers, which makes Meek’s Cutoff quite interesting.

This is a quiet movie of sweeping landscapes that look just as harsh and deadly as they are in reality. We see this small band of wagons, three families, led by their shaggy yarn-spinning guide, Mr. Meek, as they struggle to reconnoiter just where the heck they are, and it's pretty much all from the women’s perspective (unusual for a Western). The men debate at a distance how to proceed through the vacant stretches of wilderness when water is running low, while the women eaves drop silently to learn their fate. Everyone is covered in a layer of grime; there isn’t a clean finger nail among the lot. The women cook, they mend, and eventually they speak up and one even makes a stand with a rifle– but only after the caravan takes an Indian hostage with the hopes that he will lead them to water to save them along with their livestock. This is not a tidy or satisfying Western; much in the way that The Searchers leaves John Wayne’s character unchanged from we first meet him years earlier – bitter, tired, and alone. Meek’s is an existential exercise with no real beginning or end; the latter might be a bit frustrating for some. The dialogue could be tighter and while I love Bruce Greenwood, I didn’t love him in this role. Michelle Williams and Paul Dano are standouts and the cinematography is superb (the dissolves are stunning). Move it to the top of your queue.

Friday Fun, ya'll!

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 18:26:00 +0000

Source: Andreaaaonfire

It's Friday! Even though Philasmellphia is in for a rainy weekend, I feel like dancing. I'm learning Nico's These Days on ye olde guitar (I promise not to attempt to sing along, loved ones), there's a new Community in my HuluPlus queue and a new Bob's Burgers to savor. Life is pretty great, even though this unseasonably warm weather is making blow-drying my hair in the morning a much sweatier activity than usual. Just another unforeseen consequence of global warming, I guess. Sigh. Sure, there's some serious stuff going on the world from the assault on women's rights that's enjoying an oddly fanatic resurgence (those folks are usually so reasonable) to the fact that having a black POTUS has not resulted in the post-race utopia we all hoped for - it's a shit storm out there, fair readers. But, despite the onslaught of pollen that's literally choking me right now, there are many wonderful things happening in the world - and most of them are on the Interweb.

Zombies are Real, College Says So
I don't know how I missed this one! University of Michigan is offering SW290: Surviving the Coming Zombie Apocalypse: Catastrophes & Human Behavior this summer and while it's totally a just psych class, everyone's gonna want to be in summer school this year! In other news, higher education in America is doomed.

It was National Goofing Off Day yesterday, but no one bothered to post anything cool about it because they were too busy...goofing off, yo! Here is the most interesting "article" I found on the subject. This is a list of goof off options that a cat would choose that is both sad and appealing, but mostly sad. I remain a former cat person still.

Check out The Hungover Games.

Oh, and here's that dancing baby...

So, what exactly is going on here? What's the occasion? Is this little guy, just like, the best baby that danced that day at the baby dance expo?

For those with time on their hands, here's the 22min Game of Thrones semi-cheesy featurette. Mad Men, who? I could care less about Don's whirlwind wedding; the real question is, when is Jon Snow gonna get his chance to kick ass?

And finally, this is going to be E...P...I...C. (Or not, whatever.)

Have a great weekend, everybody.

Movie Review: The Hunger Games

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 16:14:00 +0000

"It's the same story every year. He tells of the history of Panem, the country that rose up out of the ashes of a country that was once called North America. He lists the disasters, the droughts, the storms, the fires, the encroaching seas that swallowed up so much of the land, the brutal war for what sustenance remained. The result was Panem, a shining Capitol ringed by thirteen districts, which brought peace and prosperity to its citizens. Then came the Dark Days, the uprising of the districts against the Capitol. Twelve were defeated, the thirteenth obliterated. The Treaty of Treason gave us new laws to guarantee peace and, as a yearly reminder that the Dark Days must never be repeated, it gave us the Hunger Games.”

If you’ve read the YA novel The Hunger Games you’re probably pretty worried right about now with hours to go before the midnight screening you bought tickets for two weeks ago (though maybe less so if you've read any reviews). You might be thinking, can Jennifer Lawrence pull this out, are they going to get Panem “right,” and why is Peeta’s (Josh Hutcherson) head so large? He has a really big head; I never noticed it in The Kids Are All Right, but it’s HUGE. You also might be thinking that you’re a little old for midnight screenings (and you totally are, most likely). Anyway, I’d like to take a moment to alleviate your well-justified fears. The Hunger Games is as layered, heartbreaking and expectation-fulfilling as we’ve all been hoping. It's clearly more than another money-making franchise, in a many scenes it's transcendent. No, I’m totally serious. THG was directed by the same dude who wrote Big and directed Pleasantville and the way he balances unimaginable human suffering and moments of beauty shows a deep respect for the characters and the film’s younger audience. There is a real tenderness to this film amidst all the slayings and human rights violations. Ross still allows Katniss time to appreciate a butterfly in a rare moment of respite in the arena and Lawrence has the chops make it authentic and not schmaltzy. THG series’ author Suzanne Collins co-adapted the screenplay with Ross and Billy Ray (State of Play, Shattered Glass) in such a way as to both honor and expand Collins’ world while giving us just what we’ve been waiting for – a Katniss we can get behind, a Katniss that will spark a revolution.

“Taking the kids from our districts, forcing them to kill one another while we watch - this is the Capitol's way of reminding us how totally we are at their mercy.”

Skip this paragraph if you’ve read the books….
THG is set in a dystopian future where the ruling city selects a boy and girl (ages 12-18) from the twelve districts that make up a post-war North America to fight to the death on a sort of super twisted Truman Show each year. Hunter and family provider, Katniss Everdeen volunteers to fight in the 74th annual games when her little sister Prim is called up at this year’s Reaping. Katniss and her fellow tribute, Peeta, the town baker’s son, are whisked into the arms of Effie Trinket, district 12 representative and taken to the Capital for a make-over and combat/survival/interview training before being thrust into the battle arena, a huge expanse of wilderness filled with deadly traps and animals controlled by the game keeper, Seneca Crane (Wes Bentley) under the rule of President Snow (Donald Sutherland). Mentored by district 12’s only past winner of the games, town drunk Haymitch Abernathy (Woody Harrelson) and styled by Cinna (Lenny Kravitz), Katniss finds herself in a PR battle as she struggles to get through pregame interviews and then again in the arena where she struggles to: remain morally intact, grab ratings/sponsors, pull off a love story, and survive.


It's not just a movie about kids killing kids, it's also about watching TV!

From the propaganda video that is played at the start of the Reaping to Sutherland’s quietly frightening portrayal of President Snow – it’s about to get seriously 1984 up in this jawn. THG is an allegory for a possible future, but also touches upon atrocities in our very real past. When the children of district 12 silently march, wearing their best, but still dingy, shirts and dresses, into the Reaping area surrounded by armed guards separated from their parents, it clearly recalls black and white images of death marches and camps from a not-so-forgotten time. Just the first of many "This is a kids' movie?" moments.

The sci-fi elements in this world are not gratuitous, but tools of convenience: food still looks like food, a train is still a train but medicine and skin-dying is ridiculously advanced. The Capitol is a little too Coruscant-y for my taste, but games announcer Caesar Flickerman (Stanley Tucci) and his plastic teeth succinctly captures the spirit of excess and lunacy of the entire spectacle. The grand outdoor plazas of the Capitol center around giant TV screens and are filled 24/7 with pink haired, green-skinned idiots indulging, mindlessly binging on the suffering of others like it was just another episode of Survivor (which is ridiculous this cycle, by the way).

If Lucas taught us one thing, it's never trust a white uniform.

THG’s hand-held camera makes us a part of the violence and not just another spectator in some over-CGI’d unoriginal adaptation. We can't look away, but action often happens in a blurry frenzy, reflecting the human eye's incapacity to see details when the shit is really hitting the fan. Clocking in at 2 ½ hours, THG spends almost as much time out of the arena as it does in it. This means two things, 1) we’re given ample time to see the characters develop and 2) this film doesn’t turn into a boring action movie. And thank the Maker for that. The killing in THG is handled artfully – while the violence is brutal and affecting without being too graphic, on the other end of the emotional spectrum, the scenes with Rue (you know the ones I’m taking about) are just plain beautiful.

THG makes Twilight look like, well, just what Twilight is – tween prattle with no real guts to really say anything. Given source material that warrants a deep read and is NOT solely structured around a teen romance, THG is an exceptional adaptation and better yet, a good film. Though it must be said that viewers who have not read the books will be confused by one moment near the end, but if you ask about it in the bathroom afterward, someone like me will set you straight. The casting is remarkable as well. Lawrence is at home once again in the woods, caring for others (see Winter’s Bone), which is welcome because her turn at a super hero was underwhelming (see X-Men: First Class, or don't, it’s not great). Katniss of the novel is supposed to be underfed and sinewy, but it’s refreshing to see a young actress on screen that looks like a real person and not a collection of bones and muscle. America does not need another underfed actress kicking ass. Kravitz is the other nice surprise, giving us subdued interpretation of Katniss’ fabulous stylist, Cinna. And this subtlety shows up in almost every element of the film – CGI shots are brief, landscapes are few, and never does the camera linger very long on spectacle, instead it chooses to focus on the human faces that make up the story. And Lawrence’s face could tell the whole tale. Can’t wait for her to catch fire in 2013.

Oh, Li-Lo.

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 19:34:00 +0000

OK, this is NOT Lindsay Lohan, but it is an example of shit that we redheads
have to be associated with during our formidable years. No wonder she's blonde now.

Lindsay Lohan, along with her new lips, cheeks and teeth, hosted SNL this weekend. And it was sad. So very, very sad. After years of arrests, probation, missed court dates, see-through tops at said court dates, and countless crotch shots while entering or exiting various vehicles, Lindsay looks damn tired at 25. Cameos by Jon Hamm and Jimmy Fallon didn’t even help this train wreck. And a certain SNL alum and Lindsay supporter was missing. One can only assume that Tina Fey was like, “I want no part of this shit show, Lorne.” And it was a shit show, but not because the sketches were bad, as they are always pretty bad. No, the most disappointing part was Lohan’s lifeless face, distorted by substance abuse and cosmetic procedures, evidence of years of bad advice and the cruel nature of fame. Or not, whatever.

Because I don’t want you, fair readers, to have to sit through the entire episode, here is a brief compare and contrast or Li-Lo then and now. We expect a bit more from folks that are hosting for their fourth time, but it is clear that Lohan had no business being up there. I mean, she literally had no business, no movie to promote and hasn’t been in one since 2006. Shame on a certain show-runner putting her out there too soon.

Then:

Now:

Yes, there are more important things to be sad about in the world, but writing about the recent tornadoes and the tsunami debris that's headed across the Pacific to our pristine Washington and Oregon shores is not really fun.

To cleanse your palette here’s a decent sketch with Jon Hamm. I like that they went with James Mason here, since 18-24yr old dudes probably have no idea who he was.

Friday Fun: Aquatic Edition

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 17:06:00 +0000

Is this gif on? Html and I rarely understand each other. Source.

It’s Friday, fair readers, and you know what that means…fun. I’ve sure had fun this week with a much under-publicized re-launching of ye olde blog. I’m sneaking up on writing on a regular basis again. Shhh, read really quietly or you’ll scare the writing away. Oh, you can also find it here: www.facebook.com/therestiscreamcheese because I, for one, welcome our Facebook overloads. Even the blog has a timeline and birthday now. But, man I need a new logo – that font up there stinks!

But, more importantly – what's been going on in the ocean lately?

There’s a new apex predator that everyone is talking about - super cold water. Alec Baldwin’s familiar silky rasp makes it way scarier than Air Jaws. Frozen Planet airs on Discovery on March 18th.

Speaking of jaws, way back when I was in-utero “Steve Spielberg” was a sore loser winner. Listen carefully to the directors he was up against.

Europa, Europa – Jovian moon, yet another place in the universe where it’s best not to drink the water.

And finally, just when you gave up hope, a very rare Shepherd’s beaked whale was spotted in Australian waters just hanging out with some dolphins and pilot whales.

Have a great weekend, everybody.

Bob's Burgers, Bob's Burgers, Bob's Burgers!!

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 19:11:00 +0000

This is the post where I extoll to you the awesomeness of Bob’s Burgers. Yes, I realize that the way to get someone to not watch/read/listen to/dine at whatever is to tell them how awesome it is. But, screw convention! I’m gearing up for the season 2 premier of Bob’s Burgers on Sunday, March 11th on Fox and then hopefully like on Monday, March 12th it will be on Hulu Plus so I can actually watch it! Oh, it better be, because like many city-dwelling HD antenna users – we can only tune in Fox like 32% of the time - a percentage that usually has no impact on my quality of life. Usually.

So, I’m not going to sugar coat it, fair readers. Here are 5 cold hard reasons to watch Bob’s Burgers season 1 on HuluPlus* before March 11th:

1. Seth McFarlane has nothing to do with it.

2. Bob is voiced by H. Jon Benjamin, a national treasure in the voice actor category (Archer, Dr. Katz, and yes, Family Guy – shut up, I hate that show!). Of course, the nation’s official voice artiste national treasure is Sir Billy West, as we all know. Oh, and the rest of the cast rocks too including Kristen Schaal, Eugene Mirman and Kevin Kline as Wonder Warf business tycoon, Mr. Fischoeder. Yeah, you read that right.

3. This post on the Bob’s Burgers blog.

4. Tina.

5. Because The Simpsons are just so depressing at this point. Let it go, guys.

A clip from last season when the family ran a bed and breakfast one weekend to make extra cash.

*I should really be getting some sort of compensation for this level of brazen promotion.

Please don't let this be a Rule of Three's thing...

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 19:50:00 +0000

Hey, this is a comedy show. What gives?!

When I was 8 years old (or 9, I have no frickin’ clue) MTV started running re-runs of The Monkees TV program from back when mom and her sisters wore matching homemade dresses for family photo shoots. My weird neighborhood friends, the ones I would never actually hang out with during school or invite to proper parties and slumber parties on the weekends, and I even formed a Monkees cover band with the grand ambition to perform a block concert on some steamy Sugarland summer evening. We may have even have gone door to door selling tickets.

But, much like the real The Monkees, we planned to debut without learning our instruments or even how to pantomime some songs (e.g.). We left a lot of the logistics during the planning of this “show,” come to think of it. But, I do recall that we never actually went on, never sold any tickets, and I was pretty bummed that I had to be Micky.

Another Monkee that cared little for unnecessary “e’s” in his name was Davy Jones. He died today and he was only 66. It’s funny how the older we get, the younger old people feel to us. When I was 8, 66 felt like a distant dream (nightmare), but now I see what a loss, what a shame it is to go when there is so much more life left to live. He performed on stage just 10 days ago. RIP, Davy. Even though short dudes really freak me out, your humor, smile and the way you sang the word “girl” are treasures that will be missed.

Movie Review: The Muppets

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 19:09:00 +0000

Richard Hunt, Steve Whitmire, Jerry Nelson, Jim Henson, Frank Oz and Dave Goelz

I haven’t written anything other than business letters and passive aggressive emails for some time now. I’ve been thinking about loss lately, mostly because I lost my grandfather in late September. I can’t help but feel that I didn’t have the chance to really make him proud before he left us. Maybe that’s because I refused to believe he was really leaving and that coincided with the recent realization that I will never be famous. There is a palpable absence in my heart and mind during those stark moments when I recognize that he is no longer here where we are right now. Do they even have the Interweb in Heaven? A little closer to the surface, a couple rungs up the strata of my psyche is another hole, a hole for famous people. It’s not a very big hole, but Jim Henson makes up most of it. I will one day fit Steve Martin in that hole too. Huh, that sounds disgusting. Anyway, I remember the morning when someone at school told me Henson died, I was in denial then too. But, last week my heart was lifted for 98 minutes and during that time everything was right with the world...almost.

The Muppets have not graced the silver screen since the far from memorable Muppets From Space way back in ’99. While the efforts shortly after Henson’s 1990 death are quite wonderful and true to his spirit (The Muppet Christmas Carol & Muppet Treasure Island), Muppets From Space signaled a strange time for the Muppets and their fans. Mediocre TV specials, Frank Oz stepping down from performing Piggy, Fozzie, Animal and others - the Muppets as most of us knew them were just not right. After rumors of Oz working on a script to bring them back to the theater, Muppet enthusiast and pretty funny guy Jason Segel and his writing partner Nick Stoller got the gig. When James Bobin and Brett McKenzie, co-creators of the Flight of the Conchords, were attached some of us got, I daresay it, excited for the reboot. After months of teasers, fake trailers, real trailers that seems fake and irksome speculation the wait is over. But, after decade of modest output, do the Muppets still have it?

For the most part, yes they do. Bobin, Segel (who also stars), and Stoller ease the faithful back into this world where, to paraphrase Oz, bears can tell jokes, chickens can sing, pigs can be stars and they all can ride bicycles. The gentlemen do this by making the newest Muppet as big of a fan as many of us, or at least very short and felt-covered stand-in for a couple of generations’ childhood hopes and dreams named Walter. It feels as if Segel and company are acutely aware that with one wrong line or plot point they could retroactively contaminate one of the most creative and beloved franchises in movie history like so many blinking Ewoks. If only it had Oz’s approval, that would make the rebirth truly blessed.

Walter is the biggest Muppet fan in Smalltown, USA having been introduced to old Muppet Show DVD’s by his brother Gary (Segel). The vertically challenged and unsure Walter finds kinship with the merry band of misfits and weirdos even though the Muppets haven’t performed together in “years.” During a very adorable opening number we learn that Gary and Walter are inseparable, Garry is in love with Mary (Amy Adams), and Mary could stand to see Gary spend less time with his brother. The three set off on a romantic bus ride to Hollywood, to fulfill Walter’s lifelong dream of visiting Muppet studios, and celebrate Gary and Mary’s ten year dating anniversary. But, upon arrival in L.A. a heartbroken Walter finds the studios and theater in disrepair and while hiding in Kermit’s abandoned office, Walter learns that new owner of the property Tex Richman (Chris Cooper) is in fact not planning on opening a Muppet museum, but leveling it all to reach oil.

Walter, Gary and Mary seek out Kermit the Frog in a desperate attempt to save the theater. Mr. The Frog, far from the limelight (and his ancestral swamp), is a lonely soul hold up in his old Hollywood mansion filled with Muppet memorabilia and oddly, a large number of oil painting of his former Muppet co-stars. Fueled by the drive to give the world the third most important gift of all, laughter, Walter convinces Kermit to get the gang back together to put on a show to save the theater despite their lack of market relevance.

A road trip commences, with 80’s Robot (voiced by John Hodgeman) at the wheel, to gather up the rest of the disbanded Muppets, allowing for some of the most creative bits in the film. It would be a disservice for me to summarize this sequence, but I will tell you that you get to meet the Moopets in Reno and Gonzo is still with Camilla after all these years (click here if you hate surprises). With the gang all here, the Muppets and their new human friends work to get the theater up to code and put together a variety show telethon that will hopefully raise the $10M needed to buy back the Muppets’ property. Walter begins to find his niche, Gary struggles to deal with Walter’s newfound independence and Mary just hopes Gary doesn’t screw up their anniversary. Piggy and Kermit do their relationship dance and the rest of the Muppets rally as they usually do, pulling out elaborate musical numbers with little to no rehearsal. As is the tradition with Muppet movies, celebrity cameos are plentiful. Sarah Silverman gives a nod to Steve Martin’s rude waiter in The Muppet Movie and Jack Black is really great as the straight man, just to name a few folks.

But there is a giant blue monster in the room. And in addition to him, there are too many human faces front and center in too many scenes. At times the Muppets themselves are clearly in supporting roles. And if there is one Muppet star of this movie, it’s Walter, not Kermit – that’s just hard to accept even though Walter is surprisingly lovable and endearing. But the other elements come together beautifully. Running jokes, sight gags, corny bits, disregard for the fourth wall, absurd renditions of contemporary pop songs, it’s all there – I don’t want to spoil anything with details. The Muppets is so refreshingly nostalgic and just really, really funny.

It seems logical that Conchords alums would be associated with the Muppets. After all, the Conchords are naïve yet sweet unhip outsiders attempting to follow their dreams in a dead genre just like the Muppets. I didn’t get that Vaudeville wasn’t popular in the 70’s until much later in life when I reflect on where the Muppets fit into pop culture. The everlasting charm of the Muppets has everything to do with their persistence and knack for keeping old jokes (good and bad) alive and miraculously still funny - and the Muppets are never afraid to be the punchline.

Miss Piggy and Mary separately perform the disco number “Me Party” which, though cleverly intercut with Mary at Mel’s Diner and Piggy in her dressing room, managed to both bore and infuriate me despite Adams’ irresistible dance moves. There isn’t a plethora of female Muppets, there never has been actually. I don’t think Janice of Electric Mayhem has a single line in this film. But this “Me Party” song about a chick being ignored by her man is a reminder that Adams’ character really has no purpose other than to stand by Segel’s side and that Piggy has lost some of her depth. It was one of the few week moments in the film. McKenzie provides many other very clever songs written in the style of the Muppets, but they, like many Conchords songs, go for the rhyme not necessarily for the right sentiment. “Me Party” is over quickly, and most of the other musical sequences seemed to be cut down for the current generation. As a kid, I always thought that Muppet musical numbers went on too long, especially compared to the frenetic pace of Sesame Street segments, so the change was welcome.

What caught me off guard about The Muppets and frankly, brought me to tears a few times, was the reverence for the original TV show. Clips and sounds from the past haunt The Muppets, recalling voices of the dead or disassociated (the late Jim Henson as Kermit and Richard Hunt as Scooter and the absent Oz and Jerry Nelson, specifically). There is a resignation to today’s Kermit; there is a spark missing. That loss is overpowering at moments, but it helps these “new” Muppets achieve that bittersweet magic of the classic Muppets. Defeat is a running theme in this world, for holding on to dreams in the real world is never easy. We should remember that 1979’s The Muppet Movie ends as the set that they worked the whole movie to build crashes around fuzzy heroes. But they still have faith – “Life’s like a movie, write your own ending…”

The Muppets is an honorable endeavor aimed at the true fans - those of us who, for example, used to slip in “Moving Right Along” into our high school mix tapes and have seen Muppet Vision 3D more than 6 times even though we’ve only visited that Disney park three times. This new film is a welcome achievement. The writing is smart and the film is filled with Easter eggs for the observant. For the fans, The Muppets will at times bring us back to the days of sitting too close to the TV set and wondering just who the heck is Charles Azvanour or Kaye Ballard anyway. For the rest of the world, it’s a hilarious family movie with an authenticity and naturalness that is hardly ever attained in Disney flicks.

No way around it, this looks weird.

Now this is going to sound really picky, but the one thing they didn’t get right was the seamless way in which Muppets and human actors were able to inhabit the same plane in the older films. Henson achieved this by building elaborate sets on platforms that allowed the human to integrate better on the same plane as their legless (and often pants-less) co-stars. In the finale of this film I couldn’t help cringe at the sight of a front row of dancing Muppets with an out of focus Segel and Adam’s dancing behind them. Hey, at least they didn’t use CGI.

Watching the Muppets “crash” Segel’s monologue on Saturday Night Live this past weekend further illustrated their status as supporting characters to more currently famous human actors. It was pretty depressing. Regardless, The Muppets is a wonderful continuation of a franchise that seemed to be in danger of dying or just lingering in a sad state of not-so-great TV specials. Most of the magic is back, as much as humanly possibly really, and that is a huge relief. And it’s wonderful that new generation is being introduced to a “new” from of live action children’s features that are clearly for adults too. A quote from The Great Gonzo sums up the Muppets’ return best, “There’s not a word yet, for old friends who’ve just met.”

The Muppets
Opens tomorrow!
98mins
Dir.: James Bobin
Writ.: Jason Segel, Nick Stoller, based on Jim Henson’s characters
Starring: Humans and Muppets!
Rated: PG for mild and rude humor and fart shoes. Also, Chris Cooper does a rap and Miss Piggy does a questionable Karate move involving her crotch and Jack Black's face.

Movie Review: The Same Thing From Before

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 16:00:00 +0000

So, I don't usually stray too far from the Tomatometer, but everybody else hates this movie! Sure, I haven't seen a movie in a few weeks what with all the life, death, illness, and baseball going on, but I didn't think I was that out of touch. And I don't think that I am actually. I did my homework on this one and approached it with the spirit of the season and a good sense of humor.

While prequels don’t usually share the same title as their filmic predecessors, this Thing is part of The Thing continuum. It’s neatly nestled the three days leading up to John Carpenter’s 1982 version which is based more on the novella “Who Goes There” by John W. Campbell and less on the Howard Hawkes attributed The Thing from Another World from 1951. The thing about this prequel is…if you’ve seen any of the “originals” you have a pretty good idea of how this one is going end. Luckily, that matters little with director Matthijs van Heijningen Jr.’s, contribution to the well-trodden yet eerily appealing narrative.

Taking Carpenter’s queue to rely on human paranoia and go easy on post-war politics, The Thing is the real thing. Sorry, I’ll stop doing that - it's not even clever. Anyway, what keeps this flick from being yet another infuriating remake of a beloved movie is Heijningen’s attention to details from Carpenter’s film and an exceptional cast of international actors. Oh, and the terrifying creatures of nightmares nobody in their right mind would even image don’t hurt either.

The title credit burns into the screen, a ragged and threatening font, just as it did in 1951 and 1982. Amidst a blinding snowy scene, a Norwegian research group makes a historic extraterrestrial discovery deep in the ice of Antarctica. The first few minutes of The Thing will feel familiar to X-Files fans (as will the dramatic way characters look up from microscopes), but the difference here is that the alien space craft stuck in the ice for 100,00 years is shown plain as day.

Grad students Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) and Adam (Eric Christian Olsen) are recruited by Dr. Sandor Halvorson (Ulrich Thomsen) to the top secret site accompanied by American pilots Braxton Carter (Joel Edgerton) and Jameson (Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje). Immediately there is distrust between the team of a dozen scientists, some who do not speak English, and the two fly boys. That distrust is only amplified when the frozen alien they bring back to the base wakes up and starts eating then imitating people.

The first big scare is predictable, as are others to follow, but there are many. The pacing and suspense the rest of the time is slow and building, just as it should be. 2011’s The Thing is smart, unimaginably disgusting and horrific and a great platform for a stand out hero. In the ’82 version that hero was scruffy Kurt Russell’s R.J. MacReady, pilot and explosives enthusiast. In 2011 it’s Winstead’s brilliant paleontologist grad student Kate. Kate’s levelheaded command sneaks up on the mostly male group of Americans and Norwegians as does her proficiency with a flame thrower. Her need to contain the alien goes beyond self-preservation – from the very beginning, she’s in it to save the world.

Nothing matches the frost-bitten paranoid isolation and creep factor of Carpenter’s iteration, but this one comes close. (I haven’t seen Hawkes’ 1951 film since I was a kid, so I can’t competently make a comparison.) The 2011 film also favors practical effects to digital magic, utilizing it as a finishing tool, not the sole creator of creatures/scenes intended to illicit reaction from the actors. The digital effects are killer, don’t get me wrong, there were done by the same team that did District 9 – but there is plenty of alien slime and stuntmen on fire for us old skoolers to relish. And it’s shot on film, a very welcome and rare occurrence lately.

I’m still unclear as to where this Mary Elizabeth Winstead person came from, but she is fascinating and I hope we’ll get to see her more. Maybe her draw stems from her rare talent of looking like a real person. Winstead is just enough Ellen Ripley to earn street cred, and yet she’s also unique. Kate’s not a blue collar space traveler like Ripley, she’s a scientist, and she can be even cooler when the crisis demands. Kate plays off the more Russell-esque Aussie Edgerton well, but if you’re looking for a romance to bud in the midst of chaos, you’ll be disappointed. The Thing dwells on the slow process of alien digestion and replication in all its revolting detail – there’s only time for a few presumptive glances. And if you’re looking for Winstead to be caught unprepared in her underpants like Ripley in Alien, this is Antarctica, people, she’s is nearly always wearing at least a warm sweater.

The supporting cast, mostly non-American actors adds an authenticity to the story. Jørgen Langhelle as red-bearded Lars stands out. And the subtitles really class up the place. What's great about this prequel is that it capitalizes on the set-up from the Carpenter film. It makes it more contemporary by adding a few chicks and yet doesn't loose that retro 80's feeling. With the exception of one Men at Work song, a nod to the title of the Campbell novella, it's doesn't beat us over the head with the period either.

But, while watching this film you might ask yourself, why don’t these people stay in one group, safety in numbers right? What is the evolutionary advantage of this kind of alien? What’s the point of turning into something just like the thing you eat if you’re just going to bust through its skin and become an abominable eating machine anyway? These are questions best left at the theater door. Why are there so many flame throwers on available on an Antarctic research camp? Again, I prefer to give into the genre and have settled on the answer that they use the flame throwers to melt snow.

So, stream the 1982 The Thing on Netflix before you see the 2011 version. You’ll get a kick out of the set reproduction and the reshoot of the first few minutes of the 1982 film showed during the credits of the 2011 flick. You will also see some of the grossest practical effects of all time. 2011’s The Thing is a rare case when a new addition to a beloved story is made by people who clearly respect and love the source material. It’s not Carpenter, but it’s a pretty great way to spend a few hours on a chilly October night.

An Elegiac Intrusion: Life and Movies

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 15:54:00 +0000

"I just realized a good portion of this movie is about talking to people on the phone and going to meetings. Do you think that's going to fly?"

I'm reading Roger Ebert's memoir, Life Itself, and it's lovely so far. Filled with details about his life and childhood he claims that he was only able to recall after loosing the ability to speak. His tales of growing up in Urbana-Champaign evokes some long lost Rockwellian ideal. Seems like his generation was the last innocent one, a romantic notion, but probably true. Ebert has always appealed to the common man. His reviews are in plain English, they don't hide behind obscure references or theories that only academics would appreciate. He reviews in the first person because, according to him, how else would he write? He also proclaims that he's never missed a deadline. I cannot proclaim the same.

I missed my Moneyball deadline last night, fair readers. Instead of writing I ate Indian food (delivered, of course), drank gin and tonics, and talked and texted with cousins as we prepare ourselves for loss (whenever it may occur)...as if preparation were even possible. Despite the fact that I did not change my name when I got married more than 4 years ago, I greatly respect the Patriarch, especially ours, a grandfather who pulls off a gold Italian horn necklace and squeezes laughs out of even the worst joke. But, The Great Oz is sick, has been for years now. Cancer. And Cancer is starting to pull ahead. And all I can say is that f!@#ing sucks.

I suppose I will write more about my grandfather in future. I'm not sure what else I can do to be honest. But for now, I will write about a movie. Thanks for reading.

I apologize in advance for typos. It's one of those days.

Moneyball

Though I wonder what Steven Soderbergh’s Moneyball would have looked like, director Bennet Miller (Capote) does a solid job with this true story of Oakland Athletics iconoclastic manager Billy Beane and math. Co-penned (or doctored) by Aaron Sorkin, a similar magic to The Social Network is utilized here too. This movie is essentially about business meetings and spreadsheets with baseball footage (some actual) thrown in. I don't know how Sorkin makes this shit interesting and dramatic, but he gets the job done.

Frustrated by always loosing the last game of the season, the 2001 A's also suffer through the loss of three star players to big bad rich teams (Johnny Damon to the Sox, Jason Giambi to the Yankees). With a fraction of the payroll, Beane (Pitt) teams up with a recent Yale grad, Peter Brand (Hill), to staff a winning team using stats over scout reports. Every team plays "Moneyball" now, but at the time grabbing cheaper players who look better on paper than in person was a new thing. Of course everyone is against these two mavericks, the owner, coach Art Horne (Phillip Seymour Hoffman), the public...until they start winning in 2002.

Moneyball achieves a surprising intimacy in its many closeups, mostly of the Redford-esque Pitt. The overarching Bad News Bears vibe is balanced by an understated, natural delivery by all. Subtle performances and quiet looks are key. Hill, of all people, makes best use of this. That restraint manages to relay the romance of baseball without making it too sappy. That said; the many men in this film express themselves quite freely, though this results in more spit than tears.

There are just a few problems with this true story. It sorts of leaves out some stuff in order to play up the underdog angle. This flick does all it can to amplify dramatic effect, like playing up Beane's opposition and failing to mention the A's 3 star pitchers, the "Big Three" - Mark Mulder, Tim Hudson and Barry Zito - the latter won the Cy Young in 2002.

Blending of actual game footage has some weak points too. Don’t try to approximately match faces of the movie versions of these actual faces in the game footage. Only Hatteberg, the catcher turned first baseman played by the wide-eyed charmer Parks and Rec's Chris Pratt, is recognizable when compared to the actual footage. The non-A’s players aren't safe from misrepresentation either. Apparently no one knew what Raul Ibanez looks like either. And the young Billy Beane is played by an actor that could not look less like young Brad Pitt - a very perplexing choice.

The supporting cast is rounded out by those who seem like non-actors and actors acting like non-actors. The ancient scouts dissecting players in the clubhouse makes for some of the best scenes in the film. And then there's Beane's daughter, played by Kerris Dorsey - who has been in a ton of films for a 13 year old. I do not find it adorable when little kids sing pop songs about adult love. I think it's creepy, especially when such a song is played over the emotional climax of a movie.

I’m not the first and won’t be the last to compare Pitt’s performance to Robert Redford. The story is all American and Pitt is in his element here as a former player manager who's working out his demons and trying to change baseball forever. And for once it's an element that is also enjoyable to watch. Pitt's got a quiet athletic swagger than explodes in physical force. Real men don't talk about their feelings. They throw stuff at walls. It's fun to watch, I admit. Fans of the game know how this one ends, but I won't spoil it for the rest of you. Moneyball isn't revolutionary, but it's enjoyable even though it's also a little tepid. The creative engineering of this true story is a marvel, the film not so much.

Moneyball
opens today
133 mins - and it feels like it.
Dir.: Bennet Miller
Writ.: Steve Zaillian (Schindler's List), Aaron Sorkin (you know who he is), with story by Steve Chervin based on the book Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game by Michael Lewis
Starring: Brad Pitt, Jonah Hill, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Chris Pratt, lots of females that get men coffee and Robin Wright for like 2 seconds
Rated: PG-13 for disgusting was to deliver nicotine into your bloodstream and Jeremy Giambi's locker room dance.

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P.S. If you sense a disenchantment with the game in my review, perhaps it's because the Cards blew a 5 run lead last night, allowing the Mets to score 6 in the 9th. THE METS!!

Awesome Movie Alert! Resurrect Dead: The Mystery of the Toynbee Tiles

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 17:57:00 +0000

A quest for fishnets and subculture cachet led me and many of my safety-pinned friends to South Street in the mid 90’s. I could have been a senior in high school or a first year in vocational college – I can’t remember much about 1994 through 1998 (users are loser, kids). But I do remember looking down at some point during my super cool combat boot-clad strut and noticing this:

Near 5th & South.

It looked a lot better back then. But I dismissed it. I catalogued it as street art, possibly the product from someone with mental health issues and an art background, a classification I would later use to describe all of my best friends. But, back to the 90’s. I continued to see these “tiles” in the street, at intersections, sometimes even in the middle of the road. We all saw them, but most of us didn’t really give them much thought. I proceeded to take these tiles existence for granted for the next 10+ years…until last night.

15th & Chestnut

The documentary that kicked ass at Sundance back in January, Resurrect Dead: The Mystery of the Toynbee Tiles, is the product of a few Philadelphians’ obsession with a phenomenon that has long since been the subject of discussion between crusties, artists, conspiracy theorists, old dudes at diners and many more. The tiles have been found in Philly, New York, Baltimore, Chicago, and in a few South American cities. But, to write them off as nonsense is doing a disservice to the human imagination. And this documentary which follows a few souls who join together investigate the who/what/how and why of this perplexing riddle is probably the most compelling mystery thriller I’ve seen in a long while.

Tile enthusiast Jon Foy is behind the camera for this fascinating study of obsession, a delicate character study of the hunter and hunted. Our window into the Toynbee phenom is Justin Duerr, who, like many of us young people with nothing to do, first saw the tiles in the mid 90’s. A few years later found himself not only photographing them, but becoming absorbed in the mystery. Who is responsible for hundreds of tiles found in multiple cities as far West as Chicago? It wasn’t until a few years later that he met some like-minded Interweb folk, Steve Weinik and Colin Smith. They joined resources and vowed to figure out just what the hell is the deal with these tiles. There are South Philly characters, insane connections, and as they threesome gets closer to what might be the truth, their sense of awe is infectious. And if you spent some formidable years in Philly, you will probably feel like you some know of these folks too, especially Justin.

I don’t want to give anything away. It’s best to go into this thing as blind as possible. Unfortunately, at this point, it’s a little tricky to even see this doc. But, my Philly fair readers, you have a slim chance to see this film. There are a few tickets that will be available for tonight’s final screening. You might still be able to get them here online, but I just don’t know. Folks last night just showed up an hour early and were able to get the remaining dozen or so tickets of this sell out screening. I’m pretty sure that Jon, Justin and Steve will be on hand to answer questions from the audience after the screening. If you can’t get there tonight, be sure to keep an eye out for upcoming screenings here - look out friendlies in LA, Chicago...and Albuquerque! And although I prefer to see films in the dark with strangers - you can also buy this doc on VOD and iTunes.

Send Lawyers, Guns, and Money

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 15:02:00 +0000

Forecast illustration from Weather.com.

I'm not sure if the proverbial shit is really going to hit the proverbial fan tomorrow, but it has been a wacky week on the East Coast. I don't think anyone was comparing our little tremble to actual natural disasters, but Tuesday's earth-quiver was a new experience for us jerky entitled Yank city-dwellers and something to talk about for sure. Now, we're waiting for a hurricane named Irene which may still be a Category 2 when it hits NYC, a city that hasn't experienced a direct hit since 1821. Philly, which is already saturated from a very wet August following a hellish July is going to have a few problems too.

And luckily, there's little to compel you to venture out to theaters this weekend. Don't Be Afraid of the Dark opens today and well, it's kind of boring. Read my review here at El NorrisotwnPatcharita.com

Our Idiot Brother also brings it's mellow yet tedious stylings to theaters too. Paul Rudd is pretty lovable as the naive screw-up that accidentally wreaks havoc on his family after serving time for selling weed to a uniformed police officer at the farmer's market. There are some excellent folks in this movie, Steve Coogan, Elizabeth Banks, Zooey D. and it has some really funny parts. Definitely queue it up for the future - or if your town has electricity you might even consider taking in the cheap matinee. I was having a really crappy day when I saw it and it actually made me feel better for like 7 minutes afterwards.

Anyway, I've charged my Kindle and have made a sacrifice to the Interweb Gods - so we'll have entertainment as we hunker down and await the apocalypse.

Now, read more to see extremely important advice concerning disaster preparedness.

This weekend is the perfect opportunity for back to back Poseidons, fair readers!

The Day After Tomorrow (2004) - One of the most ridiculous movies ever and slightly better than 2012. Yes, it's so bad it's good - especially the CGI wolves! (That was this movie right? I have no idea, really.) Or just look at these pictures.

Hurricane (1979) - I've never seen or heard of this movie, but how can you go wrong? It's got Mia Farrow, Jason Robards and Max von Sydow. I have no idea what's going on in this clip but I'm assuming at some point there is a hurricane. 50% on Rotten Tomatoes means it might not be half bad! No, wait, that's not right.

Have a great weekend everybody! If you need me, I'll be in my panic room! Later!

30 Minutes or Less + Belated DVD Quick Bites

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Fri, 12 Aug 2011 15:46:00 +0000

Nothing funnier than kidnapping and torture!

Despite a very busy week at work, I got to write a little about the new Jess Eisenberg comedy of errors that is 30 Minutes or Less. You can read all about it here at Le Grande NorristownPatch.com.

But, I'm still sifting through notes from my DVD binge from a couple of weeks ago. I basically would watch anything since the hubbers was away at art camp. In some cases that meant old Family Ties episodes on my phone, in most other cases that meant lots of movies. So here are some Quick Bites for some DVD releases newish and oldish.

Belated DVD Reviews after the jump, yo.

Safe Men
Maybe if Safe Men were made today or in the 80's it would have been something else. Something better. But it suffers from the style-free late 90's, that tended to make or break movies. Sam Rockwell's je ne sais quoi and Steve Zahn's dependable comedic squirmings can't really save this odd little satire filled with idiot men playing gangsters. Paul Giamatti does his best to bring some authenticity to the game, but over the top antics by a very young and mustachioed Mark Ruffalo make it apparent that Safe Men is a little lost and hasn't quite settled on a "look." Rockwell and Zahn's characters have a band that is so unbelievable (like a cross between Simon and Garfunkel and Boys II Men) it seems completely arbitrary to the story. We get it, they are clueless. Odd casting for Rockwell's love interest and Zahn's criminal father back story also takes a way from this gangster far. It isn't without its moments, mostly due to Rockwell and Giamatti. On the whole, it's just a really awkward film with some bright bits and good chemistry making it a mediocre Instant View. It's the kind of film that is totally OK for a July night when it's still 97 degrees out and there is no effing way you're leaving the house.

The Winning Season
Speaking of Sam Rockwell. I remember seeing the trailer for this movie and thinking that Sam Rockwell had lost it. I'm happy to report that I was totally wrong. Rockwell plays the down and out divorced alcoholic with heart who brings a ragtag high school varsity girls basketball team farther than anyone could have hoped. Along with the way he struggles with his relationship with his own daughter while forming an odd dynamic with the girls on the team. I know it sounds awful. The young actresses are excellent, Rob Courdry plays the principle and and of course Rockwell is great. Rockwell's drunk, a former high school star athlete, is offensive and heartfelt. This PG-13 flick, predictable but sweet, is the sophomore effort of Grace is Gone's James C.Strouse, who both wrote and directed both films. This guy's a class act and I look forward to seeing more.

Unstoppable
Tony Scott's kinetic Unstoppable is a character-driven train race through Pennsylvania that somehow manages to stay off the well traveled track despite a predictable set-up. It's a combo of the emotional dude drama genre and Speed, but thankfully without a real villain - unless you count the emotionless train that is without breaks. Working class heroes, union infighting, broken homes, and rural Pennsylvania as seen through the window of a big honking train - what's not to like? The fact that Scott used real trains, real track, real explosions, and like four helicopters at all times to shot it don't hurt either.

Have a super weekend , everybody. Next week, more DVD reviews and Fright Night!

For reference - the original:

Now, I haven't seen the original yet, but this remake, while probably unnecessary is a total blast. I'm note sure what makes this Anton Yelchin kid a leading boy-man, but Colin Ferrell is pretty hilarious, David Tennant shows up just when you need him and there are way less puppets than in the 1985 original. But, more next week, fair readers.

Friday Fun: Quit Yer Monkeying Around!

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 15:03:00 +0000

"Monday Monkey lives for the weekend, sir."

It's Friday, Friday. Can you hear that noise? It's me reveling in the thought of the approaching weekend. We have house guests which means lots of eating out, catching up, and hopefully hearing an embarrassing story about my husband in high school from his dear friends who have flown all the way from St. Louis to see an aging 90's indie rock band at the Troc tomorrow. That's friendship.

Anyway, I saw a movie the other day, a movie that was so bad that it was awesome.

Behold on NorristownPatch.com - The Rise of the Planet of the Apes as reviewed by your favorite slacker

After the jump, please partake in some Friday Fun.

Kim Kardashian's mom in the 80's was just embarrassing as your mom in the 80's, except she hung out with O.J. Simpson more.

(via Buzzfeed)

Although I haven't actually seen any of the seven Jason Bateman vehicles in the theater right now, he's swell, isn't he?

And remember, it's not too late to get your Shark Week on:

Have a great weekend, everybody! Next week - lots of Belated DVD Reviews and 30 Minutes or Less!

Shark Week Update

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 17:00:00 +0000

OK, following the Interweb trend clickable infographics that are both easy to digest and filled with startling information, Discovery posted this as part of their Shark Week material. Pretty sad stuff. Thanks, Discovery for taking a break from the shark porn to remind folks that the ocean is a threatened ecosystem that could really use a break from us meddling kids, I mean humans.

Andy Samberg after the jump.

Just a personal note, that is exactly how I do a back flip too.

Vote for Attack the Block to Come to Philly, Please

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 12:38:00 +0000

It's about time the UK gave us an alien-themed Goonies. Popular theme these days, right?

What do these cities have in common - L.A., New York, Seattle, Chicago, Austin, San Francisco, Toronto, Boston, Orlando, Atlanta, Dallas and Washington, D.C.? Well, apparently they are more worthy than lowly Philadelphia, Detroit, Phoenix, Portland and other 3rd rate urban crap fests. Help prove Smelladelphia's worth by voting to bring new low-budget sci-fi flick from across the pond produced by Edgar Wright, Attack the Block, to theaters near you on August 19th. Voting closes soon and the lucky city will be announced this Friday, August 5th. If you have no idea what I'm referring to - Attack the Block is yet another alien movie mash-up but this time it's British. Starring a bunch of young people you've never heard of and Nick Frost, Attack the Block is the story of some rough street kids who, like all good gang-type hoodlums, make a stand to defend their territory against invaders, space invaders.

Go to Attack the Block's Facebook page and like/follow it, whatever the kids are doing these days. And don't forget to vote for Philly in the drop down menu choices of cities, dang it.

Check out the trailer after the jump.

Movie Reviews: Crazy, Stupid, Cowboys, Aliens.

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Fri, 29 Jul 2011 14:52:00 +0000

Like most folks, I like cowboys and I love aliens. So, I was pretty excited about the latest "film by John Favreau" which involved both. Overall, it's pretty entertaining, although there weren't enough Deadwood alum in it. But that's my complaint about most movies and TV. There are so few decent space/cowboy combos, you have to give Favreau credit for this adaptation of this 2006 graphic novel. Speaking of graphic novels, I've never read one. Just wanted to share. Anyway, check out my review here on ye old NorrisontownPatch.com.

Quick Bite of Crazy, Stupid, Love. after the jump.

Quick Bite: Crazy, Stupid, Love.
This flick has all of the rom-com musts: Public speech about love - check. Grand gesture in the face of likely rejection - check. Unrequited love - check. Emotional catharsis outside in the rain - check (twice). Potty-mouthed youngster. Make over montage - uh, check. And yet this tale of love (young, old and delusional), despite being an utter fantasy disguised as a plausibility somehow manages to both subvert and indulge in every rom-com cliche ever seen. Realized by exceptional acting, it works, making for a sweet, sappy, honest flick which serves as proof that rom-coms don't have to be terrible. Steve Carell stars as nice guy, Cal, who in the first scene is dumped by his wife (Julianne Moore) while trying to decide what to order for dessert. In an attempt to get back at her he hits the same bar night after night - a bar too cool for him and his New Balance shoes. Cal's pathetic attempts at connecting with other humans garners the attention of handsome, rich, pickup artist, Jake, played by a very sleek and sculpted Ryan Gosling. As Jake brings him from geek to chic and teaches Cal how to layer separates, a few other story lines play out. Cal's 14 year old son is stalking the 17 year old babysitter, Jake meets his match in a young, goofy lawyer played by Emma Stone, and Marissa Tomei and Kevin Bacon are even thrown in there somewhere too. Coincidence crashes the party in a pretty clever twist, after which things drag a bit. And the two main love stories are a bit out of balance, i.e. more Stone and Gosling, please. But, it never takes itself too seriously or gets that deep - there's a Dirty Dancing reference and enough laugh-out loud bits to prevent that. Great performances and slight of hand save it from being dimissible PG-13 fluff.

Have great weekend, everybody!

Friday Fun: Trailers, Links, and Sharks!

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Fri, 22 Jul 2011 14:00:00 +0000

It's Friday. It's 10am and already 117 degrees (that might be hyperbole). It's time to sit back in your icy office chair and enjoy the wonders of the Interweb.

Hey, you know what's funny? Cancer. But, seriously folks, I feel like I've heard Seth Rogen mention this flick like 40 times on various talk shows over the last few years. It's not called I'm with Cancer anymore, but this movie by The Wackness director, Jonathan Levine, still looks pretty great. Heartwarming and funny. And it seems light on the bromance. Oh, Mr. Rogen, you're growing up right before our eyes. Also, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is adorbs. Late September feels very far away, so write this down somewhere so you don't forget to see it.

A little earlier in September, you can catch this low-budget Paranormal Activity-esqu space thriller, its release was pushed from August for some reason. This flick looks one step above a Syfy channel flick, so I love it already.

And speaking of space, there's this. (Thanks to BoingBoing for sharing.)

And speaking of dedicated nerd-types, it's Comic-Con time and once again I am not there. A girl can dream. I'll be getting all my coverage from the best source of movie and nerd news, a comedian. Paul Sheer is covering the festivities in San Diego this year over on Vulture. Here's a taste:

"For four days, San Diego is taken over by fans, movie stars, executives, and scantily clad women dressed in company logos, flirting with people with whom they would normally never make eye contact. Basically, it’s the best thing ever." I'll have to take his word for it.

And finally, Shark Week starts next weekend. Andy Samburg is the Chief Shark Officer this year and the little video of him is super cute. But, just keep in mind when you're watching Great Whites tear into 50lb hunks of tuna bait, that there were over 350 dead sharks found on a boat illegally fishing in the frickin' Galapagos Islands national park recently. And the big Martha's Vineyard shark hunt (where they claim to release like 90% or something) is happening this weekend. There are still a lot of dead sharks featured on their website. It's not easy being a shark. And as a protest against the misrepresentation and exploitation of sharks, I refuse to see the upcoming Shark Night: 3D in the theaters...admittedly, I may just wait until it come out on DVD 2 months later. Hey, I like being scared of things I shouldn't be, it's a thing.

Have a great weekend, everybody. Remember, movie theaters are always over-air-conditioned and there are plenty of popcorn worthy flicks out right now (Harry Potter, Bad Teacher - actually pretty damn funny, The Trip, hell, Captain America is probably pretty good - who cares it's so hot outside) . Help the American economy, go to a movie and spring for the pretzel bites.

Farewell, Mr. Potter.

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 14:54:00 +0000

Well, the Harry Potter movies are over, fair readers. Sure, I know what you're thinking, "Megan, but what about Pottermore?" I don't know much about the online "experience" Pottermore, but I know it's not a new novel. So I'm taking it as a sign to move on and grow up a little. I've already taken the opportunity to advance my reading level with a Pulitzer Prize winning novel. Granted, I found the novel to be grossly overrated and, much to my dismay, it did not contain a single wizard duel.

But, I still learned a lot in the lead up to this final film. I learned that the Harry Potter books do not really hold up to a third reading. I learned that while the Rowling's world is amazing, her writing style is not so much. I learned that movie adaptations rarely meet expectations, but when they get stuff right, it means goosebumps.

So, check out my review over on another corner of the Interweb. They've had me "duel" with another critic, but since we both really liked it and used the word "magic" as describer in the lede, it's not much of duel.

She Said: 'Deathly Hallows: Part 2' A Magical Way to Say Goodbye

Have a magical weekend, fair readers. Now, I'm off to enjoy a rare July day of low humidity! Thank Merlin for comp days.

Quick Bites: Beginners and The Trip!

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 19:07:00 +0000

Hey there, fair readers! So many, many movies open tonight. The two in today's Quick Bites will be playing at the Ritz Theaters here in lovely Philadelphia. Also in theaters is last week's film that I didn't even post a link too on TRICC, so here it is now if you haven't read it yet and are in need of a total downer: Beautiful Boy

Tune in next week for Conan O'Brien Can't Stop!

The Trip
Full review will be posted on NorristownPatch a bit later today (or tomorrow).
British filmmaker Michael Winterbottom is anything but predictable. From real documentaries to fake ones, from indie rock porn to a drama starring Angelina Jolie, Winterbottom keeps it interesting. Having shared the screen in other Winterbottom films including 24 Hour Party People and, my favorite, Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story, Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon play Steven Coogan and Rob Brydon – or at least some UK Bizzaro World Seinfeldian scripted version of themselves. Steve’s on assignment for the Observer to tour the finest North England restaurants and inns. Having just gone on a “break” with his younger American girlfriend and after asking several other people, Steve gets his old friend, “stunningly accurate” impressionist, Rob, to tag along to serve as company, collaborator and punching bag. Faced with the choice of playing a Dr. Who “baddie” in his home country and a cable series in the US, Steve is torn between life in overcast England and sunny L.A. He digs into his English roots while challenging and insulting Rob in a series of comedy duels over haute cuisine.

At its core, The Trip is about performance. These two men perform versions of themselves, and it doesn’t really matter how accurate those portrayals since the impressionists are imitating themselves. What a delicious set up. There are a few UK pop culture references that simply don’t play here in the US and most of us Americans are not privy to the long friendship and TV collaborations of these two venerable British comedians. Rob indulges, more than once, in dramatic recitations of Wordsworth and Coleridge, something that American comedians tend to shy away from for some reason. The highlights of the film are the impression battles, particularly Michael Cane, James Bond(s) and Woody Allen, which are both boisterous and masterful. Oddly enough, Rob’s Al Pacino is subpar.

These versions of Steve and Rob ring true enough that when the melancholy piano queues the viewer to feel badly for how dreadfully charmed Steve’s life is, it still feels like carefully crafted fiction and not a documentary gone awry. Winterbottom achieves authenticity through capitalizing on his subjects’ fame, but surprises with their willingness to come off badly at times. There is a clear distinction between these old friends at the end – a content, yet less famous, family man vs. the sympathetic fame-whoring ass. Although a bit long and repetitive at times (clearly that is a result of editing several TV shows into a movie), The Trip is at once silly, pretentious, pensive and raucous.

Beginners
Mike Mills’ (Thumbsucker) second feature starring Ewan McGregor as a sad artist and Christopher Plummer as his recently deceased and recently “out” father is a nice enough movie. It has a dog in it that speaks in subtitles, lovely illustrations about sad things, nice lighting and lovely performances. But Mills’ autobiographical baggage seems to prevent Oliver (McGregor) from being a complete character. His actions seem more motivated by Mills’ own artistic leanings (purposefully terrible drawings, angsty graffiti antics of a 30-something art school graduate) that don’t mesh with the wooden dialogue and forced quality of Oliver’s storyline. Hal's (Plummer) plotline however is absolutely engaging and his performance is rich and warm, with a vulnerability and humor that charms. There are some humorous voice over bits, with a slide show of sorts that works quite well.

Unfortunately, you have to sit through a cookie cutter shy-damaged-guy-meets-damaged-gorgeous-free-spirit-French-actress romance in the present while Hal’s tale is intercut in flashbacks at some really weird times. The parallels drawn between Oliver's budding romance and his parents' failed marriage are odd and off putting. The character of Oliver's mother is a speck, though an interesting one, and Anna (the new girlfriend) may have some good things to say, but their big fight is music montaged over. This is all about father and son, unfortunately, father's story is way more interesting. Oliver is damaged goods yes. But he's privileged goods that grew up with money and educated parents. It’s hard to feel bad that he can’t maintain a serious relationship when his problems are pretty manageable. Anna's father calls her from France and threatens to kill himself on a regular basis; Oliver’s dad came out late and had an amazing late life love affair.One of these things is not like the other.

Since Beginners hinges on Oliver's awakening and his process of reconciling with his parents' choices, it would have been a little more compelling if he was a character with a little more chutzpah. And no, this is not because Ewan didn't show his bum - I just found the whole effort a little too subtle and joyless at times and there just wasn't enough at stake.

I Do Love Paris in June...You Should Too

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Fri, 03 Jun 2011 20:55:00 +0000

I for one am very glad that Woody Allen rarely makes films about poor people. Poor people stories are such downers filled with struggle, consequence and the calculating yet chaotic nature of the cruel, cruel universe. But in most Allen movies, it seems that only the privileged are privileged enough for his brand of escapism, a kind of escapism where livers of charmed lives seek out rather interesting brands of distraction and relief from their general malaise and fleeting existential angst. In an interview in the latest Film Comment, Allen talks about how life is all about the escape from the reality of living, dealing with the “terrible predicament” of life, as it all means nothing. Look, you’ve got to have some cash to really buy that POV. At the same time, his latest film Midnight in Paris makes for the loveliest kind of distraction, indulging in whimsy and nostalgia that defy this penultimate auteur’s underlying cynicism.

Midnight in Paris is magic with Owen Wilson in the role that Allen himself would have played were this film to have been made a few decades ago. But Wilson transcends’ his character’s elitist trappings in moments of pure wonderment and absurdity as he wonders through the streets of Paris, both past and present, mingling with the artistic greats and ex-pats of the 1920’s on a search for, what else, the meaning of it all and material for his budding novel. And, Wilson never tries to “do” Wood Allen, thankfully. He sticks to his likable shtick and that, along with Allen clearly on his game, is part of what makes Midnight in Paris ‘s wonderful, marvelous even.

In a kind of reintroduction to one of the most photographed cities in the world, we see overcast and twilight lit streets of Paris, then as rain falls over a Dior storefront as melancholy jazz keeps pace with passersby. We’re introduced to engaged couple Gil (Wilson) and Inez (Rachael McAdams) through their voices only, he’s waxing poetic about his rekindling his love for “The City of Light” and she’s over it. We see them for the first time, in all their blondness, embracing in Monet’s garden, but there's trouble in paradise. A successful “Hollywood hack” in the midst of rewriting his first novel about a man who owns a nostalgia shop, whatever that is, Gil is a bit lost. Inez, sharp and dismissive when it comes Gil’s dreams, is a great opportunity for the very talented but sometimes overly perky McAdams to show her range. In this case she ranges from flippant to just plain mean. In order to avoid spending time with Inez, Inez’s parents and her former college professor and expert on everything, Paul (the amazing Michael Sheen), Gil takes a nighttime stroll through the often confusing streets of Paris. Gil’s longing for the past perhaps calls what follows next into existence. A Model something-er-other (read: really old car) appears and some very intoxicated Parisians whisk him away to a fabulous party where Cole Porter is serenading at the piano and where Gil befriends Scott and Zelda (Alison Pill) who naturally introduce him Hemingway (played with bravery and truth by Cory Stoll).

From there, everywhere Gil turns each night after the clock strikes twelve in this magical corner of Paris he not only runs into, but is lavished with guidance, advice, friendship and critique from his idols who were known to bandy about in 1920's Paris. Gil didn’t pass freshman English, but how he’s hanging out with a good chunk of the required reading list along with famous filmmakers and artists. Half the fun is just waiting to see who pops up next. Whether they are figment of Gil's well-read imagination or not is totally irrelevant. I mean who cares "why" things are happening when Adrien Brody’s Salvador Dali is causing so many belly laughs? Of course, Gil also meets a girl, Adriana (Marion Cotillard) the ultimate artist’s muse just after she’s broken up with Picasso, a fellow dreamer in her own time. Adriana guides Gil in his journey that's leading him back in time and further from down the aisle with Inez.

I don’t know if it’s the warm soft tones of this film, the dips into absurdity and time travel, or the way they didn’t bother construct the lighting around hiding Wilson’s trademark busted nose – I just loved this movie. The references are armchair intellectual, nothing too obscure for those of us that spend more time reading blogs than at Surrealist film festivals. There is a playfulness to Midnight in Paris that I haven’t personally experienced since Radio Days, which drips with a longing for days gone. Life is hard, but film is the ultimate coping mechanism when done right. It’s good to know Woody still has it in him to give us this charming and truly funny film.

Midnight in Paris
now playing in select cities
100mins
Dir. & Writ.: Woody Allen
Starring: Owen Wilson, Rachael McAdams, Marion Cotillard and many lovely actors as many really famous people of history - including Kathy Bates at Gertrude Stein.
Rated: PG-13

What’s Happening this Weekend?!...oh, right the Rapture

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Thu, 19 May 2011 20:10:00 +0000

This Saturday, May 21st, I’m planning on spending the day at the Trenton Ave Arts Festival with the main event being the Kensington Kinetic Sculpture Derby. The latter being a wacky uber DIY Flugtag-like build your own craft race/parade/competition where said craft has to terrain a big mud pit at the end. It’s pretty great and Kensington may as well be the place to be when the battle of good and evil begins. But, come to think of it, the monumental earthquake signaling the start of the End isn't supposed to hit until 6:00pm local time, so I’ll be home with the Mister napping off a little day drinking by then. Sure, we’ll probably fill the bathtub with water, fire up the home distillery and load the shotgun*, but we do that every Saturday night…it’s a married people thing, I guess.

But seriously. For those that don’t know, this weekend’s apocalypse is being brought to us by Family Radio owner and star DJ, 89 year old preacher, Harold Camping. Aw, and he looks like such a sweet crazy person, too. Camping’s nonprofit has spent like $100 million promoting Saturday’s tribulations of brimstone and treacle for sinners and glorious exaltation for believers because well, apparently you can’t take money with you when you ascend to meet the big man. Makes sense, I’ll give him that. Camping’s calculations and preachings are worldwide thanks to this thing called the Internet that allows small groups of like-minded wackos to appear way more influential that they really are. Thanks, Al Gore. (Have I written this joke before, or is it just that untimely? I can't even tell anymore.)

I know from careful research that all you need to defend against the forces of darkness are your high school librarian, a few wimpy friends, super powers and lots of archaic weapons, but this world’s end is different. This battle has been laid out in very important religious books and lots of really old paintings I’ve forgotten the names of because I could never stay awake in even one single art history class ever. This is the Rapture people, and for those of us that have been avoiding the “Left Behind” films, we’re totally screwed.

I’m not really sure of the timing of how this is going to go down, but it goes something like, earthquakes, believers rise in the sky to meet J.C., the Antichrist shows up and some penultimate battle ensues with good being the victor. I’m not sure what happens to those of us “left behind,” but I don’t think it’s good. So, here are a few options for those of left on Earth that will either have to fight in the Antichrist’s army or just against our fellow unsaved souls that turn to evil.

5 Things to Remember During the Rapture:

1. Water. Dehydration is a real risk, assuming that hell on Earth will be a lot hotter than regular Earth and what with all the battling for your life, water is key to keep you in peak sword throwing condition.

2. Get a sword. Weapons are your friends, so get some…but not now. I’m thinking that the initial wave of battles in the sky are going to lead to lots of discarded and probably awesome mystically forged old school weapons from owners that have perished. They’re going to be much better than anything you can get at your local armory. And, I’m not even sure if guns work on angels so stick with metal. Anyway, heads up.

3. Looting. Do it. Think portable foods with the maximum amount of calories for energy. This is one case when we’ll all the thankful that chain grocery stores think Michael Pollan is a dick. Stick to the inside aisles only, people.

4. There will be a time when your best friend or family member will be infected and you’ll have to kill them. Wait, that’s a Zombie Apocalypse. I don’t think that counts here, but I’m not really positive, so keep it in mind.

5. Last minute redemption. Look, there’s a way out of this. Just slip into a church on the way home from work tomorrow, get a little redemption on just in case. It couldn’t hurt right? But, please keep in mind that you’ll have to spend eternity with Camping’s followers, so you might want to take your chances down below.

Camping's version of the Rapture isn't the only one around. I encourage everyone to read up, watch a few Hollywood versions, decide for themselves, and it wouldn't hurt to live like tomorrow is the last Friday ever. Of course, that's how I roll on every Friday. Thursdays? I never could quite get the hang of Thursdays.

*No we won’t.

Don't Call it a Chick Flick.

noreply@blogger.com (Megan Carr) — Fri, 13 May 2011 17:59:00 +0000

You can tell who the star is by the length of her skirt! Very sassy.

Bridesmaids opens today, fair readers and the Interweb's heart is all aflutter with thoughts and reviews about Judd Apatow's first lady movie. I had something to say about the matter as well...and I also got to speak with the lady behind script and in front of the camera, SNL's Kristen Wiig.

Check out my review here: "Kristen Wiig Just Wants You to Laugh at Her 'Bridesmaids'"

And "read more" for a special Friday treat just for you! Now, if you'll excuse me, my lunch hour is over and this University is not going to run itself.

Have a great weekend, everybody.