The River City

5 Ways The Laws Of Nature Make Us Stronger People

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Tue, 28 Jun 2016 19:29:00 +0000

Our day to day lives are evolving by the second. Most of the time it seems like the days are vanishing one right after the other at a faster pace. We forget to just stop and smell the flowers.

These are 5 laws of nature that you can apply to your daily life.

1. Nature’s Law Of Teamwork

Bees work together to find flowers and gather pollen for their hive, lions use strategy to coordinate attacks on their prey, and sea otters hold hands to keep from floating away from each other.In that spirit we must work together. Nature provides us with perfect examples as to how we can all work together as one.

The important thing to remember when it comes to teamwork is that we are all in the same boat. Understand that the whole purpose of a team is working together. When one person isn’t cooperating it makes situations challenging when they really shouldn’t be. Think about it: if one lion decided that they wanted to be lazy while the rest of the pride was trying to pick up her slack it probably would take twice the effort to bring down a zebra.

Supporting each other goes a long way when it comes to teamwork. Show your team what your made of!

2. Nature’s Law Of Being Present

With today’s many outlets for social interaction, the mind can be very cluttered. Sometimes it’s best to put yourself in the here and now. Even if it means stopping and appreciating the birds chirping or the beautiful mountains. One cannot truly bring themselves into the present until they are completely aware of their surroundings.

The world is a wonderful place to explore. Maybe instead of playing video games or mindlessly scrolling through your phone or computer, leave all bits of technology behind and go for a walk. Embrace the great outdoors!

3. Nature’s Law Of Perseverance

Creatures in nature have persevered through the most difficult journeys this world has to offer. Through dire times, inevitable outcomes, loss of others, and much more critical situations, one can become stronger through the experience of challenging adventures. A better way to handle a bad situation is to remind yourself that it is all temporary.

4. Nature’s Law Of Peace

Most communities in nature find ways to coexist with each other. The balance between one another is the respect that one has for the other. People and animals must find that balance – it’s as important as finding it between each other too.

Society owes itself peace with all life forms. Not every pride, flock, or animal group is going to be the same but at least they can compromise with one another. Most living creatures just want to be happy!

5. Nature’s Law Of Patience

Good things come to those who wait. Just as a spider waits to strike its prey, a caterpillar slowly transforms into a butterfly, or an acorn grows into a 150 year old tree, the outcomes are endless in nature. The reward of waiting can be pretty amazing. When most things take a long time to happen the end game is always a treat. The closure of the wait also feels pretty good too. “The wait is finally over!” Is probably one of the best sentences to say ever.

With these laws of nature, you can overcome some of the greatest challenges this world has to offer!

Socrates Triple Filter Test For Gossips

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Mon, 27 Jun 2016 19:00:00 +0000

Testing for Gossip

In ancient Greece, Socrates was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem.
One day an acquaintance met the great philosopher and said, “Do you know what I just heard about your friend?”
“Hold on a minute,” Socrates replied.
“Before telling me anything I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Triple Filter Test.”
“Triple filter?”
“That’s right,” Socrates continued. “Before you talk to me about my friend, it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you’re going to say. That’s why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth.
Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?”
“No,” the man said, “Actually I just heard about it and ...”
“All right,” said Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not.
Now let’s try the second filter, the filter of Goodness.
Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?”
“No, on the contrary…”
“So,” Socrates continued, “you want to tell me something bad about him, but you’re not certain it’s true.
You may still pass the test though, because there’s one filter left: the filter of Usefulness.
Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?”
“No, not really …”
“Well,” concluded Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good or even useful, why tell it to me at all?”

17 Life Lessons To Learn From the great Socrates

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Wed, 22 Jun 2016 05:30:00 +0000

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Socrates is you can’t teach people anything. No matter how hard you try, you’re never going to teach them anything. You can only make people think. You help open their eyes and realize what they are capable of.

Here are 17 of the best quotes and life changing lessons we can take from Socrates. Did we miss your favorite Socrates quotes? Share it in the comments below!

1. You have to be as you want to seem. No faking!

“The shortest and surest way to live with honor in the world, is to be in reality what we would appear to be; and if we observe, we shall find, that all human virtues increase and strengthen themselves by the practice of them.”

2. Virtue does not come from money.

“I do nothing but go about persuading you all, old and young alike, not to take thought for your persons or your properties, but and chiefly to care about the greatest improvement of the soul. I tell you that virtue is not given by money, but that from virtue comes money and every other good of man, public as well as private. This is my teaching, and if this is the doctrine which corrupts the youth, I am a mischievous person.”

3. Read the writings of other men and women to improve yourself.

“Employ your time in improving yourself by other men’s writings so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for.”

4. Wisdom is knowing how little you know.

“I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing.”

“To know, is to know that you know nothing. That is the meaning of true knowledge.”

“I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.”

“True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us.”

5. If you want to change the world, change yourself.

“Let him that would move the world first move himself.” ~ Socrates

“Remember that there is nothing stable in human affairs; therefore avoid undue elation in prosperity, or undue depression in adversity.”

6. You’ll be rich when you realize you have enough.

“He is richest who is content with the least, for content is the wealth of nature.”

“Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty.”

7. Eat healthy to live.

“Worthless people live only to eat and drink; people of worth eat and drink only to live.”

8. Live a good life, not a life chosen for you by someone else.

“The unexamined life is not worth living.”

“The really important thing is not to live, but to live well. And to live well meant, along with more enjoyable things in life, to live according to your principles.”

9. Nothing in life is ever truly stationary. Everything is in a constant state of change.

“If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don’t want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can’t hold on to it forever. Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change. Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is law and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.”

10. Don’t simply be busy, but be busy doing things that matter to you.

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life.”

11. Explore the entire world.

“I am not an Athenian or a Greek, but a citizen of the world.”

12. Think for yourself. Don’t let others do the thinking.

“To find yourself, think for yourself.”

13. Don’t rush head first into a friendship.

“Be slow to fall into friendship, but when you are in, continue firm and constant.”

14. Choose your words wisely.

“False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.”

15. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Confront evil with good intentions.

“One who is injured ought not to return the injury, for on no account can it be right to do an injustice; and it is not right to return an injury, or to do evil to any man, however much we have suffered from him.”

16. Your soul is immortal.

“All men’s souls are immortal, but the souls of the righteous are immortal and divine.”

17. Don’t ever stifle your curiosity!

“Wonder is the beginning of wisdom.”

Image credit: Guyana Chronicle

The most Inspiring story in the Hollywood’s History - Sylvester Stallone

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Fri, 04 Mar 2016 04:10:00 +0000

No one is aware of what you're capable of except yourself . His name is Sylvester Stallone. one among the proficient and Most notable yankee pic superstars. Back within the day, Stallone was a troubled actor in each definition. At some purpose,he got thus stony-broke that he scarf his wife’s jewelery and sold it. Things got thus unhealthy that he even over up homeless. Yes, he slept at the ny terminus for three days. Unable to pay rent or afford food. His lowest purpose came once he tried to sell his dog at the off-licence to any alien. He didn’t have cash to feed the dog any longer. He sold it at $50 solely. He says he walked away crying.

Two weeks later,he saw a match between Mohammed Ali and Chuck Wepner which match gave him the inspiration to jot down the script for the notable pic, ROCKY.
He wrote the script for twenty hours! He tried to sell it and got a suggestion for $125,000 for the script. however he had only one request. He wished to STAR within the pic. He wished to be the most actor. Rocky himself. however the studio same NO. They wished a true Star.(Also browse TIPS FOR ANY YOUTH TO BE SUCCESSFUL)

They same he “Looked funny and talked funny”. He left together with his script. some weeks later,the studio offered him $250,000 for the script. He refused. They even offered $350,000. He still refused. They wished his pic. however not him. He said NO. He had to be in this pic.

After a jiffy,the studio in agreement,gave him $35,000 for the script and let him star in it! the remainder is history! The pic won Best image, Best directional and Best cutting at the distinguished honor Awards. He was even nominative for Best Actor! The pic ROCKY was even inducted into the yankee National Film register in concert of the best movies ever!

And does one apprehend the primary factor he bought with the $35,000? THE DOG HE sold . Yes, Stallone idolised his Dog most that he stood at the off-licence for three days looking ahead to the person he sold his dog to. And on the third day, he saw the person returning with the dog. Stallone explained why he sold the dog and begged for the dog back. the person refused. Stallone offered him $100. the person refused. He offered him $500. and also the guy refused. Yes,he refused even $1000. And,Believe it or not, Stallone had to pay $3000 for a similar, same dog he sold at $50 only! And he finally got his dog back!

MORAL:
No one is aware of what you're capable of except yourself and most significantly, ne'er lose hope, despite what!

Inspiring, Share too and encourage somebody

Debt Consolidation - What You Need to Know

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Fri, 26 Feb 2016 01:31:00 +0000

If you find yourself struggling with debt, making multiple monthly repayments to a variety of different lenders with different interest rates, one of the most attractive options may be debt consolidation. Used correctly, debt consolidation can be a great way to manage your debt problems and help you become debt free; however debt consolidation may not be the best option for everyone and in many cases can lead people into a worsening debt situation.

What is Debt Consolidation?

Debt consolidation or refinancing is a way of taking multiple debts and consolidating them into a single loan, subject to a single interest rate generally with a single monthly repayment. Instead of having to manage repayments to multiple banks and financial institutions a debt consolidation loan allows you to deal with a single lender. This makes managing your debt situation significantly easier and often you can wind up paying less each month than you were paying before.

What debts can be consolidated?

Generally a debt consolidation loan allows you to consolidate all of your unsecured personal loans, credit cards and store cards. However some mortgage refinancing allows you to consolidate your unsecured debts in with your mortgage.

What are the benefits of debt consolidation?

Debt consolidation allows you to combine all of your unsecured debts into a single more manageable loan with one monthly repayment. Most debt consolidation loans should offer you a lower interest rate than you are receiving on your credit cards and personal loans. This reduced rate could ultimately save you thousands in interest over the course of the loan.

Additionally you will be able to deal with a single bank or financial institution rather than multiple different creditors. This should make your debts easier to manage and save you money on fees and late payments.

Am I eligible for debt consolidation?

Eligibility for a debt consolidation loan is at the discretion of the bank or lender. Generally speaking you are unlikely to be approved for a loan if you have a bad credit record, a history of late payments, are in default on any other loan repayments or are unemployed or not in regular employment. So if your debt situation has gotten out of control you are unlikely to be eligible for a debt consolidation loan.

What are the drawbacks of debt consolidation?

Some people who take out debt consolidation loans eventually find themselves in a worse position than they were in before. Why is this the case? Because debt consolidation doesn’t help change the behaviour that got them into debt trouble to begin with. After taking out a debt consolidation loan, many people who find their credit card balances cleared wind up maxing out their credit cards and slipping back into the same bad spending habits as before. This can lead to a situation in which you not only have to repay the same amount of debt as before but also have to repay the debt consolidation loan on top of it.

Without discipline and a change in your spending and saving habits, debt consolidation is not going to provide a long term solution to your problems and you may eventually find yourself slipping back into debt. Ultimately debt consolidation should be used in conjunction with better financial habits such as budgeting and saving if it is going to be truly effective and help the borrower to become debt free.

What are the alternatives to debt consolidation?

If you’ve been rejected for a debt consolidation loan or simply think debt consolidation is not for you, there are alternatives to consider.

If your debt problems haven’t yet gotten completely out of hand and your repayments remain manageable, the best option is always budgeting and smarter management of your finances. Sit down with a pen and paper or using your computer and work out your total monthly expenses including your mortgage repayments, credit card bills, groceries, school fees etc. and balance them against your total household income. By doing this you should be able to identify areas of unnecessary expenditure and be able to better manage your spending habits. Any savings you make from budgeting and phasing out unnecessary expenses should be redirected toward paying off your debts.

However if you have been rejected for a debt consolidation loan and your debts have become unmanageable there are alternatives for you to consider. One increasingly more common option is entering into a debt agreement with your creditors. A debt agreement is a legally binding arrangement between you and your creditors based upon what you can reasonably afford to pay. Similar to debt consolidation they allow you to make a single ongoing repayment to your debt agreement administrator. However unlike debt consolidation all of your debts aren’t paid out upfront but instead your creditors receive dividend payments based upon your debt agreement contributions. Once you have successfully completed the agreement you are released from your debts. It is only possible to enter into a debt agreement if you have become insolvent, in other words you cannot afford to pay your debts as and when they fall due.

Finally in more extreme cases declaringbankruptcy might be the only option available to you. Bankruptcy should only be considered as a last resort and in situations in which you are unable to reach an agreement with your creditors. Bankruptcy has serious consequences and as such you should seek further financial advice before considering this option.

Fox Symes is the largest provider of debt solutions to individuals and businesses in Australia. Fox Symes helps over 100,000 Australians each year resolve their debt and take financial control.

ShopWiki revolutionizes online shopping

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Wed, 20 Jan 2016 02:42:00 +0000

is a site that can help you to shop easily and securely, without having to go to the market. you just simply sit in front of the computer and order the goods, the ShopWiki.com will send the goods you order. Nice is not it? you do not have tireds road to go everywhere.

ShopWiki is a consumer powered website where buyers can begin their online shopping adventures, research products, compare deals, feedback and reviews – all generated by consumers and aggregated from the Internet based on searches performed by the consumers. They do not sell anything, but provides enough relevant information to help you make the best choices and deals.

ShopWiki actively crawls more than 200,000 online stores to ensure you’ll find the products you want at the best prices.

Consumers can browse for products by brand or by category in a directory format. Their simple search form is also very beneficial for quick product searches. Also available are great wiki gift guides, shopping guides by occasion, recipient and season. So what are you waiting for? Register now at Shop Wiki and start sharing your own experience too, apart from using their totally free comparison shopping search engine.

Ten Tips to Help You Say “No”

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Fri, 01 Jan 2016 22:54:00 +0000

By Victoria Munro

As a business owner, you may receive constant requests for your time from clients, vendors, colleagues and employees, as well as from family and friends. If you’re not careful, that precious time you need to focus on growing your business and taking care of yourself can be eaten away, leaving you stressed and behind schedule.

Though you want to be helpful to others whenever you can, developing the art of graciously saying “no” can be key to your survival and your sanity. Below are ten tips to help you:

1.Learn from the past—remember what it’s like to feel guilty and frustrated about commitments you’ve made to do things you don’t have the time, energy or desire to do.
2.Think and plan ahead, blocking out time on your calendar for activities important to you. Saying “no” is easier when that time is already scheduled for something else.
3.Commit to never giving an immediate response—request time to think about it. Simply say, “I need time to think about this. I’ll get back to you.”
4.Weigh the costs and rewards. Ask yourself, “Will scheduling this cause undue stress? Does this align with my goals?”
5.Learn to say “no” directly, without feeling guilty or giving a lengthy explanation. After all, you don’t usually offer a reason when you say “yes.”
6.Be prepared for others to push your boundaries and be ready to say “no” as many times as it takes.
7.You may be able to avoid a confrontation by offering the other party choices.
8.When you’ve said no, remember that you’re not responsible for others’ reactions.
9.Practice saying “no” until it feels comfortable without offering any explanation.
10.Before making a commitment, be sure you have a complete understanding of exactly what’s being asked of you.

About the Author: Victoria Munro is co-founder (along with husband Dave Block) of Make-it-Fly® LLC, a company dedicated to creating success for small-business owners through creatively designed programs and tools. Victoria has started and run nine different businesses. To receive FREE business success articles with tips to help you with your business, sign up for their award-winning ezine, “In-Flight Refueling,” at:www.Make-it-Fly.com, and receive a free copy of the eBook, Get More Done in Less Time: 101 Quick and Easy Time Tactics & Tips.

Means of Dream

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Wed, 16 Dec 2015 17:28:00 +0000

“The dream is a little hidden door in the innermost and most secret recesses of the soul, opening into that cosmic night which was psyche long before there was any ego- consciousness, and which will remain psyche no matter how far our ego-consciousness extends.” ~ Carl Jung

Dreams offer USA a chance to appear into our nous and will give a deeper understanding of non-public psychological transformation throughout waking life. abundant of the scientific study regarding the interpretation of the messages that we tend to square measure given in our dreams has been supported the work of Jung, a well-respected man of science and specialist, United Nations agency believed that dreams square measure full of symbols that stem from the unconscious.

Interpreting your own dreams will offer you a remarkable glimpse into the totality of the psyche. If you’re prepared for a peek, keep a journal next to your bed and write down what you bear in mind regarding your dreams as shortly as you get up (because most frequently you'll forget your dream at intervals many minutes of being awake). to enhance your ability to recollect your dreams, every night set associate intention that you simply can bear in mind your dreams. Also, it's going to facilitate to remain freed from medication and alcohol and to limit what you eat two or three hours before your time of day.

Below are twelve very common symbols found in dreams and a short description of what each one means. Dream analysis can be an interesting and fun method of self-reflection and conscious personal development, but always remember that all dreams are very personal and esoteric in nature. Carl Jung states:

“It is plain foolishness to believe in ready-made systematic guides to dream interpretation. No dream symbol can be separated from the individual who dreams it, and there is no definite or straightforward interpretation of any dream.” – Man and His Symbols

1. BEING CHASED – SOMETHING NEEDS ATTENTION

We often remember dreams where we were being chased because it makes us anxious and fearful. The message in these types of dreams is usually about what you are running from. The mind is giving you a hint that something needs your attention, something that you are not addressing, but should.

2. PEOPLE – CHARACTERISTICS OF THE SELF

Seeing people in a dream is a representation of the various aspects of the Self. This may give the dreamer ideas of which personal characteristics need attention. If you dream of specific people, this may indicate which interpersonal issues you need to work through, or if you’re detached from a specific aspect of yourself.

3. HOUSE – DREAMER’S MIND

There are several layers of consciousness that comprise the mind. Within a dream, a house is believed to be a representation of the dreamer’s mind, with its different floors and rooms relating to the various aspects of the psyche. For example, a basement can represent something that’s been neglected or is not being amply acknowledged by the dreamer in waking life; and bedrooms can represent intimate thoughts, feelings and memories. The activity in the house signifies how the dreamer utilizes the structure of the mind to acquire and interpret information.

4. FOOD – KNOWLEDGE

In the physical world, food nourishes and energizes our bodies. In the dream world, food is a representation of the nourishment of our minds, or, simply put, knowledge. Dreaming about food can also be interpreted that the mind is ‘hungry’ and is seeking new insights and intellect.

5. SCHOOL – LEARNING

When a school or classroom is present in a dream, or you dream about the various aspects of schooling such as taking a test, it signifies the learning process. This could be interpreted as a need to learn something from a situation, past or present, or that you are in need of some self-examination.

6. NUDITY – HONESTY AND OPENNESS

When someone appears nude in a dream, it means that a certain aspect or emotion of the dreamer is being expressed openly and without limitation, even to the point that the dreamer feels exposed or vulnerable.

7. SEX – SEXUAL EXPRESSION, UNIFICATION AND CREATION

When one dreams of sexual intercourse, it may represent the unification of unconscious desires and emotions with conscious recognition. Dreaming about sex can also symbolize creation of new intimate relationships with others or with the Self. In many instances, sex dreams are simply an outlet for sexual expression.

8. VEHICLES – GIVING OR RECEIVING EXPERIENCE

Vehicles in a dream symbolize a means for experiencing what is happening in our conscious life, how much control we think we have over the path that the experience presents, and the obstacles we are facing. The type and size of vehicle can indicate different messages. For example, large vehicles can symbolize the organization that is enabling the experience, such as your church or company, an ambulance would indicate a need for healing, and a police car would indicate a need for discipline.

9. BABY – SOMETHING NEW

Dreaming about a baby often represents a new idea or development or the potential for growth in a specific area of your conscious life.

10. DEATH – CHANGE

In the language of the mind, death usually represents the shift from one state of being to another. Although many may perceive death in a dream as frightening or negative, it usually correlates to a dramatic change or transition that is happening in the dreamer’s life.

11. ANIMALS – DREAMER’S HABITS

Considering that the function of animals is mostly based on instinct, the presence of animals in a dream is a representation of the dreamer’s habits. Dreaming about animals can be very helpful in gaining insight into our daily patterns as well as our deepest desires. The type of animal, what it is doing and its habitat can all affect the message that is being communicated by the unconscious mind.

12. FALLING – RETURN TO BEING AWAKE / CONTROL

Usually, if you are falling during a dream, it symbolizes the process of returning to the state of awake consciousness. Most often than not, the dreamer does not ‘hit bottom’ but will awaken or stop dreaming beforehand. Some believe that if you are falling uncontrollably in a dream, it represents that you don’t feel in control of a certain aspect of your waking life or are afraid to let go of something.

What to learn more about interpreting your dreams? Check out:
The Dreamer’s Dictionary, Barbara Condron
Man and His Symbols, Carl Jung

Sources:
The School of Metaphysics
Man and His Symbols, Carl Jung
http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2012/11/12/3630996.htm?site=science&topic=latest
http://www.carl-jung.net/dreams.html

Debt Consolidation Loans - The Most Important Questions And Answers

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Fri, 04 Dec 2015 08:07:00 +0000

By Brook Evans

In current times, the average person is faced with many situations that require him or her to have some form of wealth. A person in such a dilemma may consider taking up a loan from a reliable financial institution. When this happens more than once, intervention is then needed to sum up all the small amounts of money that a person owes and help the person pay them off in one instance.

Managing one single debt is easier than dealing with several debts that can be owed to any number of people and institutions. All the lenders each have their own fixed interest rates on the advances they give to people. Some of these interest rates are just too high, but one is forced to consider the option due to lack of funds.

The same lenders will each have their own set duration of time to pay back the debt. This is dependent on the amount an individual has borrowed. Some financial institutions give a person some reasonable time to pay back while others do not necessarily do so. This ability to control the duration of time that will be required to pay back the borrowed money is very important.

Read : free debt consolidation program

A person is encouraged to research the various benefits of consolidating his or her loans. One of them is that an individual no longer needs to deal with multiple institutions that demand payment as soon as possible. All the debts are paid to just one person or institution and the client is left to sign only one agreement rather than numerous agreements.

This process also drastically reduces the paperwork that companies have to deal with as it is also consolidated and put together by one company in the end. Many companies that are offering this service are very transparent and user friendly. Anybody can come forward and present their case for consideration by such a company.

The interest rate for the consolidated loan is usually the average of all the other interest rates that fall under this roof. This is very convenient to most people as it is fair and does not negatively affect the financial status of an individual.

The time to pay back the money borrowed is also calculated fairly. The installments are determined depending on the amount of money being dealt with at the end of the whole consolidation process. Debt consolidation loans should be considered by individuals who have financial problems at hand.

Can credit debt consolidation loans help you reduce your debt? Find out how debt consolidation loans can help you consolidate your credit cards or loans. Apply online today.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Brook_Evans/1063527

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8499182

Things to Be Considered While a Choosing Payday Loan

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Tue, 17 Nov 2015 04:15:00 +0000

by Carlton_Mansour

A payday loan is a short term loan that is often used to cover up unexpected expenses and it is paid into your bank account directly. In order to apply for this type of fund, it is vital that you should fill up the application form properly and that you should fill up a few other forms as well. If you follow this type of online application procedure, it is vital that you only have to spend a few minutes for this purpose.
Once it is approved, there is possibility that the total amount of money will be deposited directly into your bank account. For this type of application process, all you have to do is to write your bank account number as well as Social Security Number on the application form. Here are a few things that you should consider before you apply for this type of fund as quickly as possible.

The first step that you should follow is to contact at least four or five lenders and that you should ask them to provide price estimates as quickly as possible. It is vital to remember that they all may provide different types of price quotes and it is important that you should choose someone who offers price rate that suits your requirement. Plus, you may ask him if you have to pay anything extra at any point of time.
When you look out for this type of fund, the thing that you should follow is to gather knowledge about its repayment terms. Repayment is the exact time that is allowed to the borrowers to repay the loan successfully. It is vital that you should be able to repay it within the stipulated period of time and it is also important to note that you may also have to face a penalty if you cannot repay it within that period of time.

However, there are a few lenders who allow you to extend that period of time up to six months. Therefore, the next step that you should follow is to ask about the necessary action that he should adopt if you do not have an adequate amount of money to repay it within the stipulated period of time. All you have to do is to apply for an extension at least two days before your scheduled date of loan repayment. It is vital that he should give you this kind of facility. He may ask you to pay the interest rate within the stipulated period time and he may also encourage you to repay the rest of the amount as quickly as possible.

Your next step is to find out the details of repayment terms as much as you can. All you have to do is to ask him about the exact date within which you have to pay off this kind of fund as soon as possible. It is important to remember that you will not be charged a penalty if you pack back this kind of fund prior to the specified period of time.

It is vital that you should find out the details of customer support that is offered by him. It is advisable that you should choose someone that provides excellent customer service and that listens to your problem whenever you approach him at any point of time.

The final step that you should follow is to contact your local business bureau as quickly as possible and that you should find out if there is any kind of complaint being launched against him at any point of time. Plus, you should also check out if there is any sort of negative review or comment being written by the customer on any social networking site at any point of time. Short term payday loans allow you to get money quickly especially during your financial crisis. In order to get this type of loan, it is vital that you should also find out one of the best lenders for this matter.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/expert/Carlton_Mansour/2140327
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9199403

free debt consolidation program

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Tue, 01 Sep 2015 01:10:00 +0000

Are you overcome by debt? Do bill collectors leave more messages on your machine than your friends & family? Are you ready to say, "enough is enough" and take back control of your financial situation? If so, No Debt Today is here to help you reclaim financial freedom by offering the internet's most trusted, free debt consolidation online program since 1997.
The debt consolidation loan is a low interest secured loan taken out against the spare cash tied up in your house, known as equity. This loan is used to pay off all your credit cards, store cards and other monthly debts.

This debt consolidation loan can have 2 immediate effects. it'll greatly scale back the quantity of interest you're paying, and it'll conjointly scale back quantity|the quantity|the number} you're paying out of your pocket each month by a substantial amount.

It will take away the stranglehold around your neck caused by large amounts of debts and high monthly payments. It will clear all of your debts in one fell swoop, permitting you to regain your money freedom.

This kind of loan will free you from juggling multiple payments at the top of each month. And relieve you from the strain of working out what quantity you'll be able to afford to pay on this mastercard and that mastercard can need to wait till next month.

Debt consolidation loans can give you a fresh start, allowing you to consolidate all of your loans into one, giving you one easy to manage payment, and at a lower rate of interest.
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SECRET-SUCCESSFUL SALES MANAGERS.

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Sun, 29 Mar 2015 12:15:00 +0000

A friend of mine is a very successful sales manager. After he had carefully interviewed and then selected a new salesman, he would take to the salesman to a Cadillac dealership and insist that he trade in his old car for a new Cadillac. The salesman would usually balk at the idea. He would be frightened of the cost of the car and the huge monthly payment involved. But the sales manager would insist that he buy the Cadillac as a condition of employment.

What do you think happened afterwards? First, the salesman would driven the car home and wife would most have a heart attack when she saw that he had bought a new Cadillac. But after she had settled down, he would take her for a ride around the neighborhood in the new car. The neighbors would see them driving in a new Cadillac as he waved on the way past. He would park his new Cadillac in front of his house or in his driveway. People would come over and admire it. Gradually, imperceptibly, at a subconscious level, his attitude toward himself and his earning potential would begin to change.

Within a few days, he would begin to see himself as the kind of person who drove a new Cadillac. He would see himself as a big money earner in his field, one of the top performers in his industry. And time after time, almost without fail, the sales people in this organization became sales superstars. Their sales performance jumped and they earned more than they had ever before. Soon the payment on the new Cadillac was of no concern because their incomes were so much greater.

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SUCCESSFUL SALES MANAGERS- SECRET REVEALED

Why Positive Thinking Didn’t Work for Me

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Fri, 20 Mar 2015 17:09:00 +0000

“See the positive side, the potential, and make an effort.” ~Dalai Lama

I was a perfectionist growing up, always trying to bang my flawed round-shaped self into a perfect square hole that couldn’t possibly contain me.

In my early twenties, I decided to focus on personal development—a positive thing, I assumed.

I figured if I worked on improving a little every day and nurturing a positive mindset, I’d feel a lot better about myself than I did when I got down on myself for my flaws.

I didn’t take into consideration that I might become a perfectionist about positivity.

That I might catch negative thinking and feel guilty about it instead of letting it go and moving into a more positive space.

That I might muster every piece of my will to avoid negative feelings and end up over-thinking them instead of simply feeling them and letting them pass.

For most of my life, I’ve fought reality. I didn’t like the way people responded to me, so I tried to manipulate their perception. I didn’t like the world around me, so I tried to control it. I didn’t like the world within me, so I tried to escape it.

Even when I tried to be positive, I was resisting the present. If only I was positive enough, I thought, I could create a better tomorrow—then I’d really be happy.

I tried on different positive hats in my pursuit of happiness.

I’ve told myself that everything really is in my mind—that if someone appears to be mean or inconsiderate, it’s largely a consequence of how I’m interpreting things. But then I started wondering if that’s the case, what’s wrong with my mind? Why do I so frequently assume the worst first and then have to catch it and change it?

I made lists of all the things my life would involve if it was more positive: I’d volunteer; I’d be open-hearted, always eager to greet a stranger with a smile; I wouldn’t fear lacking, and would freely give to anyone who needed it. Then I felt overwhelmed by the list of things I needed to do. Who has the time and energy to be that positive?

I’ve focused on things I appreciate in life by keeping a gratitude journal. Oddly enough, I stressed about that, as well. I felt guilty if I missed a day and continually measured whether or not I was doing enough to express gratitude in my daily life.

Positive thinking didn’t bring me peace because I was still the one doing the thinking, and I hadn’t really changed. I was still fighting, judging everyone and everything, including myself, and wondering when life would finally get easier.

No matter how positive I tried to be, it never worked because I wasn’t working for it.

Working for it, for me, involves just fifteen minutes a day.

I wouldn’t believe it if I hadn’t experienced it myself, but a brief morning meditation has a profound effect on me. When I start the day by sitting in silence for even a short while, my mental space transforms.

Without some type of contemplative practice, my busy mind gets overwhelming. Without taking time to clear my head, positive thinking is only moderately effective because there are just too many thoughts for the positive ones to have an impact.

Positive thinking, in itself, isn’t enough for me to experience the world in a present, joyful way. The most positive thinking, I’ve decided, is less thinking.

I’d like to say I no longer over-analyze, get lost in my thoughts, or get hard on myself, but that’s not entirely true.

Even with tools that help me feel calm and centered, I still feel this way at times.

There are days when I fight with myself and the world and judge myself pretty harshly. It’s usually when I’ve stopped doing the things I know I need to do for me. When work gets overwhelming and people seem demanding, sometimes I don’t make those things a priority.

I am still imperfect, I still make bad decisions at times, and I still struggle with letting go. It’s called being human.

Growth is rarely a straight line. It’s more like an EKG monitor. It’s tempting to look at it with a sense of anxiety. To measure the peaks and valleys, wondering if the peaks are high and frequent enough.

But I’m learning that being positive means releasing the need to judge—to stop assessing what’s right and good enough, and whether I’ve been right or good enough, and approach each new moment with a sense of space.

It’s my job to create that space—to clear out all the thoughts that drown out the positive ones.

The biggest barrier between me and peace is my instinct to analyze why I didn’t, don’t, or might not have it. Stillness silences that instinct.

When I take time for stillness, it doesn’t matter how I interpret things because suddenly I stop telling stories about events as they happen to me.

When I take time for stillness, it doesn’t matter how many positive things I could do if I tried; I’m too busy putting good into the world to dwell on those lists.

When I sink into stillness, it doesn’t matter how many things I write in my gratitude journal; I’m too busy appreciating the world in front of me to worry about jotting it down.

Today, I feel peaceful. In this moment, I am not trying to be positive. I created space for myself to just be. And that, I’ve learned, is the most positive thing we can do for ourselves.

Sunset yoga image via Shutterstock

Dealing with the tough times.

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Fri, 20 Mar 2015 16:46:00 +0000

Sometimes, you just have to bow your head,
say a prayer and weather the storm.

10 Signs it is Time to Move On

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Fri, 20 Mar 2015 14:31:00 +0000

Sometimes the hardest part isn’t letting go but rather learning to start over.”
― Nicole Sobon

Moving on is one of those things that is much easier said than done. Most of us grow deep roots with the people, things and places that make up everyday life, so it can be hard to withdraw the roots and leave. Just like when one pulls up a weed from a garden, sometimes you just need to take a firm and strong pull then rip out the roots all at once.

Once an individuals determines they are willing to make that firm tug, it becomes easy to move onto bigger and better things. Making the decision to rip out the roots is the hardest part of this process! Here are 10 signs it is time to think about transplanting your roots to a different place in life.

1. When you aren’t Feeling Challenged

It is easy to plateau off at a comfortable place where you aren’t making any improvements in your personal or professional life. If everything seems to be just a little bit too easy, it is time to seek out a different challenge.

2. You Get that Gut Feeling

Human instinct is a powerful thing. Often deep down we’ll know it is time to move on before we may be ready to intellectually accept it. Sometimes it pays off to trust that gut feeling, because eventually it’ll grow strong enough that you won’t be able to resist it anyway.

3. An Opportunity is Available

Turning down opportunities for growth is often a huge mistake. If you get the chance to make a change that will improve things for the better, take it. Then perhaps assess the things that were holding you back in the first place.

4. People are the Only Thing Holding You Back

As social creatures, people do hold a significant place in our life. However, often the key to success is building your life around dreams, not people. There are exceptions to this rule of course, especially when it comes to your children, but otherwise, sometimes we have to cut ties in order to achieve success.

5. When the Only Reason you are Holding on is Fear of Letting Go

Never, ever let fear determine what course that you take. End of story.

6. When you are Waiting for Change

Holding onto hope for change is a common problem people encounter. The important thing to remember is that you can only control yourself. If you are waiting around for someone or something to change, don’t hold your breath.

7. If Negative Emotions are Present more than Positive Ones

Life can hard. Sometimes everyone experiences negative bouts of emotions; however, when the bad feelings start to outweigh the good ones, it is definitely time for a change. There is enough joy in this life, especially if you have electricity and the internet, to not be caught in an endless cycle of negativity.

8. When Life Becomes a Chore

Life is filled with duties, but when these duties begin to grind against your will to live, consider making a change. Whether it is a change in attitude about the daily grind, or it is actually a change in your life is up to you to determine that..

9. It No Longer Serves You

Letting go of things that no longer serve your journey towards being the person you want to be is extremely important, especially when those things are not just neutral, but actually detrimental to your desired growth.

10. When You Don’t Feel Passionate

You may not always feel passionate about everything in life, but there should be at least a little trickle of passion that comes through regularly. Feeling enthused and excited about what you are doing in life is a sign that you are on the right course. Think about if you are going in the right direction when it comes to your goals and ideals, if not find out how you need to alter things to work towards re-igniting your fervor for life.

15 Things You Don’t Owe Anyone (Even Though You Think You Do)

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Fri, 20 Mar 2015 14:25:00 +0000

I know how much social pressure there is to conduct yourself a certain way. Some people they know what’s best for you and the whole world. But remember…

1. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your living situation.

It doesn’t matter what kind of living situation you’re in, whether you have housemates, live alone, live unmarried with a partner, or live with your ex still. You don’t need to explain to anyone why you live the way that you do.

2. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your life priorities.

Want to open a business? Become a pastor at your church? Sell all your belongings and backpack through India? Go for it! And remember, you don’t have to explain your priorities to anyone. They are yours, and you don’t have to try to impress people with them.

3. You don’t owe anyone an apology if you are not sorry.

If you’ve done something that someone else doesn’t like but that you don’t regret, you don’t owe them an apology. An apology is to try to rectify a mistake and the impact it’s had on others.

4. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for requiring alone time.

If you need alone time, you’re not being rude, introverted, or unfriendly. You just need time alone. You don’t have to explain your need for that. Just enjoy that precious time alone.

5. You don’t owe anyone your agreement on their personal beliefs.

When people share their personal beliefs with you, it’s often a sign of trust that should be cherished. It’s a window into their souls and the way they think. But just because someone has shared their personal beliefs with you doesn’t mean you have to nod in agreement. Also, see #3.

6. You don’t owe anyone a yes to everything they say.

I know it can be hard to say no to the hard ask, but just know that you don’t have to say yes to everything everyone asks of you. Know your limits and what you’re willing to do for others.

7. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your physical appearance.

If you’ve lost weight, gained weight, changed your hair, grown a beard, or done anything with your physical appearance, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for it. You’re just doing you. They can deal with pink hair.

8. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your food preferences.

We all like different types of food. If someone tries to judge you over it, don’t engage. You don’t have to explain what kind of food you like to eat. You just eat what you want to.

9. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your sex life.

Whether your sex life doesn’t exist or does with another consenting adult, it’s no one’s business but your own. People will try to judge you for who you sleep with or what your sexuality is, but what they think generally doesn’t matter.

10. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your career or personal life choices.

When it comes to the direction you’re going in life, you don’t owe anyone an explanation for your career or the direction you’ve opted to go. Just go for it! The people who truly care for you will back you up.

11. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your religious or political views.

Whether you are a Democrat, Republican, Catholic, Protestant or Muslim, it’s your choice and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for it. If someone wants to have a fun, candid discussion with you and you also want that, have at it! A good debate or exchange of ideas is a lot of fun.

12. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for being single.

It doesn’t matter if you’re single by design or by accident – you’re single! Chances are, you’re pretty happy with it too. You might get pressured to go find a partner and get married, but you march to the beat of your own drum.

13. You don’t owe anyone a date just because they asked.

This is such an important thing to remember. You don’t have to say yes just because someone asked you to go out with them!

14. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your decision about marriage.

Want to get married at 18? Don’t ever want to get married? As long as you’re an adult making decisions of your own accord, your decision about marriage is yours alone.

15. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your relationship choices.

Did you forgive a cheater? Did you get back together with your ex? Did you say no to a marriage proposal? These decisions were made by you for your own set of reasons, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for that.

Photo credit: Jade Small

Peace of Mind

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Fri, 20 Mar 2015 11:21:00 +0000

Once Buddha was walking from one town to another town with a few of his followers. This was in the initial days.
While they were traveling, they happened to pass a lake. They stopped there and Buddha told one of his disciples:
“I am thirsty. Do get me some water from that lake there.”
The disciple walked up to the lake. When he reached it, he noticed that some people were washing clothes in the water and, right at that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake. As a result, the water became very muddy, very turbid.

The disciple thought, “How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink!” So he came back and told Buddha, “The water in there is very muddy. I don’t think it is fit to drink.”
After about half an hour, Buddha asked the same disciple to go back to the lake and get him some water to drink. The disciple obediently went back to the lake. This time he found that the lake had absolutely clear water in it. The mud had settled down and the water above it looked fit to be had. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.

Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said, “See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be ... and the mud settled down on its own, and you got clear water! Your mind is also like that. When it is disturbed, just let it be... Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own. You don’t have to put in any effort to calm it down. It will happen. It is effortless.”

What did Buddha emphasize here? He said, “It is effortless.” Having 'peace of mind' is not a strenuous job; it is an effortless process. When there is peace inside you, that peace permeates to the outside. It spreads around you and the environment, so much that people around start feeling your inner peace and grace.

Man Picks Up An Old Lady In His Cab. But He Wasn't Prepared For This.

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 10:58:00 +0000

Share this amazing story with your friends and family on Facebook and other social media.

7 Ways to Stay Strong When Everything Goes Wrong

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Tue, 17 Mar 2015 10:46:00 +0000

When life is “falling apart,” it could actually be falling together… for the very first time. Which is why it feels so darn uncomfortable. Consider that what’s in front of you may be serving you in valuable ways you don’t even understand right now.

“Today, on my 47th birthday, I re-read the suicide letter I wrote on my 27th birthday about two minutes before my girlfriend showed up at my apartment and told me, ‘I’m pregnant.’ She was honestly the only reason I didn’t follow through with it. Suddenly I felt I had something to live for. Today she’s my wife, and we’ve been happily married for 19 years. And my daughter, who is now a 21-year-old college student, has two younger brothers. I re-read my suicide letter every year on my birthday as a reminder to be thankful – I am thankful I got a second chance at life.”

That’s the opening paragraph of an email I received last night from a reader named Kevin. His words remind me that sometimes you have to die a little on the inside first in order to be reborn and rise again as a stronger, smarter version of yourself.

People and circumstances will occasionally break you down. But if you keep your mind focused, your heart open to love, and continue to put one foot in front of the other, you can recover the pieces, rebuild, and come back much stronger and happier than you ever would have been otherwise.

Angel and I have dealt with our fair share of adversity over the years too – losing loved ones to illness, financial and business turmoil, etc. – and we’ve written a lot about it. But today, in light of Kevin’s email and a dozen other emails I’ve received this past week from readers who are struggling with hard times, I want to revisit and discuss seven key actions Angel and I take to find strength when everything seems to be going wrong.

1. Fully accept the reality of what is.

You cannot find peace by avoiding life. Life spins with unexpected changes every hour; so instead of avoiding it, take every change and experience as a challenge for growth. Either it will give you what you want or it will teach you what the next step is.

Finding peace and happiness in life does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, no challenges, and no hard work. It means to be in the midst of thosethings while remaining calm in your heart. It’s about letting go of the pictures in your head about how things were “supposed to be.”

Of course, this isn’t easy – it will be an ongoing struggle. But it’s infinitely easier than continuing to fight to conform your life to some antiquated delusion. It’s an infinitely more satisfying journey as well. When it’s working, when you can detach from those old images, there is peace, there is beauty, and there is happiness.

Honestly, life is too short to spend at war with yourself. The biggest disappointments in our lives are often the result of misplaced expectations. Letting go of needless expectations is your first step to happiness. Come from a mindset of peace and acceptance, and you can deal with almost anything and grow beyond it.

2. Remind yourself that everything in life is temporary.

Every time it rains, it stops raining. Every time you get hurt, you heal. After darkness there is always light – you are reminded of this every morning, but still you often forget, and instead choose to believe that the night will go on forever. It won’t. Nothing lasts.

So if things are good right now, enjoy it. It won’t last forever. If things are bad, don’t worry because it won’t last forever either. Just because life isn’t easy at the moment, doesn’t mean you can’t laugh. Just because something is bothering you, doesn’t mean you can’t smile. Every moment gives you a new beginning and a new ending. You get a second chance, every second. You just have to take it and make the best of it. (Read 7 Things You Must Know to Be a Free-Thinker)

3. Push yourself to take another step, and another, no matter what.

After studying the lives of many successful people, I’m convinced that about half of what separates successful people from everyone else is pure perseverance. In a culture that seeks quick results, we must learn the beauty of effort, patience and perseverance. Be strong, present and steadfast.

The most beautiful smiles are usually the ones that struggled through the tears. Because breakdowns often lead to breakthroughs in the end. Every mistake, heartbreak and loss contains its own solution, its own subtle lesson on how to improve your performance and outcome next time. Thus, the most reliable way to predict the future is to create it yourself. Participate in life today instead of just watching it pass you by. Don’t let the few things that are out of your control interfere with the infinite assortment of things you can control.

The truth is we all lose sometimes. The greater truth is that no single loss ever defines us. Learn from your trials. Grow wiser. Press on.

In the end, good things don’t come to those who wait; good things come to those who are patient… while working hard, through good times and bad, for what they want most in life. It’s about courage. It’s about being scared to death and then taking the next step anyway.

4. Use positivity, rather than letting negativity use you.

There may not be an obvious reason to be positive today, but you don’t need a reason. Being positive is a strategy, not a response. The most powerful time to be positive is precisely when everything around you is not so positive.

Happiness in the long run is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them. Raise your awareness to your own inner strength and positivity. You are in charge of how you react to the people and events in your life. You can either give negativity power over your life, or you can choose to be positive instead by focusing on the great things that are truly important. So talk about your blessings more than you talk about your problems today.

In other words, don’t wait for a reason to be positive. Choose to be positive about your situation, about your possibilities, and about what you can do to move forward from here. Instead of looking for reasons to be positive, look for ways to express your positive vision. Work to make your life resonate with that vision, and enjoy all the rewarding outcomes you create. (Read 7 meaningful touches every husband should use to reach for his wife)

5. Focus on making tiny fixes.

Don’t build mountains in your mind. Don’t try to conquer the world all at once. When you seek instant gratification (big, quick fixes) you make life unnecessarily painful and frustrating. When you choose instead to treat each moment as an opportunity to make a tiny, positive investment in yourself, the rewards come naturally.

When everything is broken, it’s easy to find plenty of little things you can fix. When nothing seems to be going right, even the most fundamental positive effort can make a significant difference. Times of great adversity are also times of great opportunity. When there are problems in every direction, there is also great value waiting to be created. When everything is going well, it’s easy to get lulled into a routine of complacency. It’s easy to forget how incredibly capable and resourceful you can be. Resolve to persevere by making tiny fixes every day. It’s these minor tweaks that take you from where you are to where you want to be in the long run.

6. Look for something small to appreciate.

You may not have what you want, and you may be very hurt, but you still have more than enough to appreciate right now. Epicurus once said, “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” Meditate on this quote when life seems unfair.

Remember that being positive in a negative situation is not naive; it’s a sign of leadership and strength. You’re doing it right when you have so much to cry and complain about, but you prefer to smile and appreciate your life instead. So don’t pray for the big miracles and forget to give thanks for the ordinary, simple, and yet not-so-small gifts in your life. It may seem strange to feel thankful for those events in your life that appear to be ordinary, yet it’s precisely by being thankful that you can transform the ordinary into the extraordinary.

Think about it: What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you were thankful for today?

Think of all the beauty that still remains around you, notice it and smile.

At the end of the day, it’s not happiness that makes us thankful, but thankfulness that makes us happy. Showing appreciation for the good things you have is the most powerful happiness boosting activity there is.

7. Give yourself the extra attention you need and deserve.

Resisting and ignoring your own feelings and emotions does not serve you. It leads to stress, illness, confusion, broken relationships, fits of anger and bouts of deep, dark depression. Anyone who’s experienced any of the above knows that these states of mind are horrifically unhealthy… and when you’re in the habit of self-neglect, it’s near impossible to escape.

You have to admit, to a certain extent, you have spent too much of your life trying to shrink yourself. Trying to become smaller. Quieter. Less sensitive. Less opinionated. Less needy. Less YOU. Because you didn’t want to be too much or push people away. You wanted to fit in. You wanted people to like you. You wanted to make a good impression. You wanted to be wanted.

So for years, you sacrificed yourself for the sake of making other people happy. And for years, you suffered.

But you’re tired of suffering, and you’re done shrinking. Right? Good!

It’s not your job to change who you are in order to become someone else’s idea of a worthwhile human being. You are worthwhile. Not because other people think you are, but because you are breathing your own air, and therefore you matter. Your thoughts matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. And with or without anyone’s approval or permission, you must be who you are and live your truth. Even if it makes people turn their heads. Even if it makes them uncomfortable. Even if they choose to leave.

Refuse to shrink. Choose to take up lot of space in your own life. Choose to give yourself permission to meet your own needs. Choose to honor your feelings and emotions. Choose to make self-care a top priority…

Afterthoughts

I can tell you from my own life experience that life is a wild ride. I’ve found happiness, lost it, found it, lost it and then I found it once again.

But each time what I found was more incredible than the last.

So remember that everyone suffers in life at some point. Everyone feels lost sometimes. The key is using your experiences to grow, inch by inch. When you apply what you’re learning to your future choices and actions, you move forward not backward. You become stronger and wiser. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it in the end.

Your turn…

What helps you stay motivated when you’re stressed and struggling? What’s something positive you try to keep in mind when everything seems to be going wrong? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts.

Photo by: Jessica Neuwerth

7 Things to Remember When You Feel Discouraged and Defeated

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Tue, 17 Mar 2015 09:24:00 +0000

The worst enemy to productivity and creativity is self-pity.

This morning I didn’t feel like doing anything. It’s a combination of exhaustion from a few days of hard work, and a lack of sleep with a baby in the house.

I couldn’t motivate myself to do anything important, which is a rare occurrence for me. I just felt completely discouraged and defeated. I started overthinking things and doubting myself, and wondering whether anything I do is worthwhile.

I sat there in this funk for nearly an hour and wondered how to get out of it. Should I just forget about today? Should I just give up on this project, because I’m not as good at it as I thought I was?

That’s what I was considering, at least for a little while. But the better part of me knew this mild state of depression was temporary, and so I dug into my own intellectual toolbox for solutions – little tricks of the mind that can have a real effect on reality.

Here’s what works for me – seven things to keep in mind (and do) when you feel discouraged and defeated:

1. You are not the center of the universe (stop making it all about YOU).

I think we all have the tendency to put ourselves at the center of the universe, and see everything from the viewpoint of how it affects us. But this can have all kinds of adverse effects, from feeling sorry for ourselves when things aren’t going exactly as planned, to doubting ourselves when we aren’t perfect.

So this morning, instead of worrying so much about myself, I thought about other people I might help. Finding little ways to help others gets me out of my self-centered thinking, and then I’m not wallowing in self-pity anymore – I’m starting to think about what others need. I’m not doubting myself, because the question of whether I’m good enough or not is no longer the central question. The central question now is about what others need.

Thus, thinking about others instead of oneself helps solve feelings of discouragement and defeat.

2. It is your resistance to ‘what is’ that causes your suffering (be present).

This morning my mind was ruminating about every time and place other than the time and place I was in. When I caught myself doing this, I brought my focus back to the present.

Remember, happiness is allowing yourself to be perfectly OK with ‘what is,’ rather than wishing for and worrying about ‘what is not.’ ‘What is’ is what’s supposed to be, or it would not be. The rest is just you, arguing with life. Think about that for a minute. This means your suffering only ever occurs when you resist how things are in the present.

Although you can’t control everything that happens to you; you can only control the way you respond to what happens. In your response is your power. In your power is your presence.

3. You are more than one thing (loosen up and stretch your identity).

We all have this picture in our minds of ourselves – this idea of what kind of person we are. When this idea gets threatened, we react defensively. People may question whether we did a good job, and this threatens our idea of being a competent person, so we become angry or hurt by the criticism. Someone falsely accuses us of something and this threatens our idea that we’re a good person, and so we get angry and attack the other person. My identity of myself as someone who’s motivated and productive and has great ideas… this was getting in the way this morning. When I wasn’t productive, it made me feel defeated because I began subconsciously worrying that I wasn’t who I thought I was.

My solution was to realize that I’m not just one thing. I’m not always productive – sometimes I am, but sometimes I’m unproductive too. I’m not always motivated — sometimes I am, but other times I’m feeling lazy. And obviously I don’t always have great ideas either – because that’s impossible. The truth is, I can be many things, and remembering this helps me stretch my identity so it isn’t so fragile. Then it doesn’t matter if someone thinks I didn’t do a good job – because I don’t always do a good job. I make mistakes. I am less than perfect. And that’s perfectly OK.

4. Today is still a priceless gift (make the best of it).

I only have so many days left on Earth. I don’t know how many that is, but I do know it’s a very limited number. I know that each one of those limited days is a gift, a blessing… a miracle. And that squandering this miracle is a crime – a horrible lack of appreciation for what I’ve been given. And so, I reminded myself this morning that this day counts and that I still need to make the best of it. That doesn’t mean I need to be hyper-productive or work myself into the ground, but that I should do something worthwhile.

Sometimes taking a break to nourish yourself is a worthwhile activity, because doing so allows you to regroup and do other worthwhile things. But just sitting around in self-pity isn’t helpful. So I got up and took my 8-month old son, Mac, for a long walk that we both enjoyed, and I came back feeling better.

5. Complaining is only making matters worse (find a solution).

When I get in a funk, I have a tendency to complain out loud to everyone around who’s close enough to hear me. Obviously, this doesn’t help them, or me. And as soon as I catch myself doing this, I force myself to shift gears.

The bottom line is that you will never get to where you want to be by complaining about where you are now. Each step in your life is preparing you for the one that comes after it. Complaining does not work as a strategy. We all have limited time and energy. Any amount of time we spend whining is unlikely to help us achieve anything worthwhile. And it won’t make us any happier either.

If you took 10% of the energy you put into complaining and applied it to solving your present problem, you’d be surprised by how well and how fast things can work out. (I forget this sometimes, which is why I’m writing it down again – to remind myself.)

Working as a life coach for the past decade with people who’ve suffered major trauma in their lives but found the courage to turn it around, I know we all have access to far more power, authority, and influence over our lives than we often believe. When you stop complaining, and refuse to see yourself as a helpless victim, you’ll find that you are more powerful than you realized, but only if you choose to accept this reality.

6. Feeling discouraged and defeated is a sign that it’s time to make a change (make that change).

It could be a change of heart, a change in your perspective, or a change in your habits. But the point in any case is that the way you are doing things is no longer working.

When we feel discouraged and defeated, typically our first instinct is to look outside of ourselves for someone or something to blame. In reality, we ought to be looking at how we’re feeling, what we’re thinking, and how we plan to respond.

Your life is your responsibility. While you can’t always change what’s outside of you, you can certainly change your perception of it. And the funny thing is, when you change the way you look at things, the things themselves change, which paves the way for positive action.

7. Even the tiniest possible step is progress. (take a tiny step NOW).

It can be hard to get moving when you’re seriously stuck. This is how I felt a decade ago when I was stuck in a rut after simultaneously losing two loved ones to illness and my breadwinning job. It was really hard to motivate myself when I didn’t think I had the strength to push forward – when I felt insanely horrible and sorry for myself. But I took one tiny step every day, and it felt good, and I got stronger.

That’s what I did this morning too – I took the tiniest possible step. Just turning on my computer, opening up a document, and writing a single sentence. Such an action is so small as to seem insignificant, and yet so easy as to be possible when I was feeling defeated. And it showed me the next step was possible, and the next. And the end result is this blog post you’re reading now.

Closing Thoughts

Yes, I’m still feeling out of it, but not defeated. I’m feeling stronger, because I took these steps.

I know some of you feel the same way from time to time, maybe more often than you’d like to admit. That’s OK. We all do. We aren’t machines, constantly charged up and ready to fire on all cylinders. We are human, which means we falter, we doubt, and we feel pain sometimes.

And this too shall pass.

Your turn…

What would you add to the list? What do you try to keep in mind to motivate yourself when you’re feeling discouraged and defeated? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts and insights?

Photo by: Tony Di Messi

10 Powerful Quotes by Confucius That Can Change Your Life

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Tue, 17 Mar 2015 04:33:00 +0000

Confucius, whose name literally means “Master Kong”, lived 551-479 BCE. He was a Chinese thinker and philosopher, whose teachings have deeply influenced not only Asian thought and life. He presented himself as a “transmitter who invented nothing” and he really pointed out the importance of learning, which is one reason he is seen by Chinese people as “The Greatest Master”.

One of the best known sources of Confucius are The Analects, a collection of his teachings, which was compiled many years after his death. A fountain of extremely mindful quotes springs from these ancient descriptions.

Many of them are universal and timeless in their beautiful and simple truth and they are as valid today as on the day they left Confucius’ mouth. Here we take a look at 10 of the most inspiring quotes by Confucius.

Confucius says …

1. “Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself.”

It’s the “Golden Rule” and the essence of real compassion . Not compassion as in looking down on someone and have pity for another, this is no real compassion. Compassion means seeing another person 100% equal to yourself (in value, not in differentials on the surface which ultimately do not matter). In fact it is seeing yourself in every other person. And therefore you cannot harm anyone without also harming yourself.

It doesn’t mean to lose individuality or self-worth, on the contrary – but the other person earns the same gift.

2. “Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.”

That’s my personal favorite quote since it expresses something very profound which also is very useful to know: Ignorance is a willful neglect or refusal to acquire knowledge. It is not widen one’s own perspective in order to see a broader truth. As an example it would be to have racist thoughts and not realizing that all men are equal.

The ultimate truth therefore is where there is absolutely no ignorance, meaning where the perspective or consciousness has become one with all that there is. In Buddhism ignorance (Avidyā) is seen as the primary cause of suffering. Liberation is Enlightenment. Another quote by Confucius here is “Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star.”

3. “I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.”

Those quotes are just perfect. What he is expressing here is that we have to experience something ourselves in order to really understand it. If we are hearing something it might be interesting. If we are seeing something it might be beautiful. But only if we feel in happening to ourselves we can really know how it is.

Picture something nice as winning an Olympic gold medal or picture something terrifying as the loss of a loved one. Can you know this by hearing it or by seeing it? Or do you have to do it and experience it yourself to really know it?

Along with this realization comes the awareness that you cannot understand someone or his actions from hearing or seeing it from the outside. You have to feel empathic compassion for him to really know what it is like. To know and not to do is really not to know. Only by applying our knowledge we can validate it’s harmony with reality, it’s truth.

4. “Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.”

Amazing. It calls for dropping the inner mask through which we constantly see and evaluate the world, distorted by our wants and belief-systems. Here we have to look at things as they are. Just like a newborn child would look at things. Then we are able to really see again, without instant labeling of what we see and therefore only really seeing our label. If we become able to do this – just for a second without judgment, we can see that everything in nature is as it should be. And in this natural perfection lies beauty.

5. “The Superior Man is aware of Righteousness, the inferior man is aware of advantage.”

Another quote is “The object of the superior man is truth.” It is the value of integrity: Do we act to our best knowledge of truth or do we bend ourselves and violate our integrity in order to gain an advantage? Do we play fair game or use perfidious tactics?

To be truthful to ourselves is also important to the development of (good) character. And it is the only straight way to liberation.

6. “Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.”

Whatever you do and whatever you commit to, do it fully, give your all – one hundred percent. It is the essence of Carpe Diem – Seizing the day and it’s surely the best way to be satisfied with what we do and get the best results.

7. “Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.”

There is no failure, there are only valuable learning experiences. Or as Thomas Edison about inventing the light bulb said: “I have not failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” The important thing is not giving up, but learning and then improving by using this feedback to get better and ultimately succeed.

A quote expressing the same principle is “A man who has committed a mistake and doesn’t correct it, is committing another mistake.”

8. “He who learns but does not think, is lost. He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger.”

Confucius explains the connection of learning and reflection. Reflection of that what we learned by thinking or of the results we get by applying the knowledge. “Study without reflection is a waste of time; reflection without study is dangerous” is a similar quote by Confucius. Learning is only useful if we connect the learning within our own minds, with what we already know and what is useful for us. This reflection of any knowledge also saves us from blindly following any knowledge without checking its truthfulness and validity to us.

I think everybody experienced learning when we really want this knowledge and interweave it with what we already know. If there is a need or problem we want to solve, the consume knowledge much more effective than it happens for students in many universities.

9. “He that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools.”

This quote calls for planning and preparation. This includes getting and improving the personal skills we need to be successful. If we want to hold speeches we have to become good with communication skills. If we want to win a race we have to train for it. If we want to do a big project we need knowledge in project management. Steven Covey calls it Sharpening the saw, read about it here.

10. “If you look into your own heart, and you find nothing wrong there, what is there to worry about? What is there to fear?”

It shows that our primary work lies within ourselves: to work on ourselves and improve will automatically take care of the outside world if we use our abilities then. “When we see men of a contrary character, we should turn inwards and examine ourselves.” The solution to problems is not “out there”. It is the Inside-Out approach: success and happiness can only be found by working on ourselves. It also entails the spiritual message to look inside and to discover ourselves fully.

Source: “Confucius says: The Top 10 Wise Confucius Quotes,” from myrkothum.com

The Power of Letting Go: A Little Guide to Non-Attachment

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Tue, 17 Mar 2015 04:24:00 +0000

Attachment is the origin, the root of suffering; hence it is the cause of suffering. – The Dalai Lama

You’ve probably seen or read something like it before on the Internet.

A beautiful image with a short quote that says something to the significance of “let it go” (if you don’t believe me, type “let go” into Google and look under the images tab).

And I’m not talking about the Frozen theme song, I’m talking about the idea of letting go of things in your life, whatever that may be.

But rarely is it actually explained how to actually “let it go”. More often than not it’s become no more than a slogan for happy living, with vague guidance at best.

What I do find interesting though is that most of us seem to realize intuitively how important it is to live without clinging to things, even if we’re not exactly sure how that’s supposed to happen.

But there’s a vast amount of wisdom in Eastern thought that can help us learn how to let go of the many things which bind us and keep us from finding peace as well as keep us from experiencing the limitless freedom that exists in our everyday lives. That’s where the teaching on non-attachment comes in.

The teaching on non-attachment, as described in Buddhist and Hindu thought, is often misunderstood- especially in the West.

It’s usually misunderstood as the detaching from all worldly things in a physicalsense. Which most of us aren’t all that interested in doing (and, also intuitively, we feel is unnecessary). The common image of a monk or yogi living and meditating away from civilization doesn’t help that misconception either.

In fact, when Buddhism first came to China somewhere around 2,000 years ago by way of these reclusive and hermit-like practicing Buddhists, the Chinese apparently didn’t dig it all that much either. They didn’t see the point of removing yourself entirely from worldly activities and becoming these sort of recluses from society.

But they were very much interested in Buddhism in general, and would go on to spur one of the most significant reforms in Buddhist history- the birth of what’s called “Mahayana” (or “the great vehicle”) Buddhism.

The reason I mention this story is to illustrate why it can be so dang confusing to understand what’s meant by non-attachment in ancient Eastern thought. This is because technically there is a side of Buddhism that’s about becoming that mountain recluse or hermit and living by yourself for the rest of your life.

Fortunately, the Chinese realized the truth early on that such a way of living only aided in the path to realizing peace and was in no way a requirement.

The truth is peace and the ultimate freedom can be obtained right here within everyday life. So then if stripping yourself of all possessions and worldly responsibility isn’t the point of non-attachment, what is?

What is Non-Attachment?

The Buddhist teaching on non-attachment is ultimately about realizing the truth of yourself. That is, realizing that you’re an expression of the entire cosmos. That you’re in the cosmos, that the entire cosmos is in you in a very real and observable way, and that there is no separating the two (and everything that comes with the realization).

And the teaching on non-attachment is about living in such a way that you live without such obstructions that keep you from realizing this.

So, for instance, it’s not about not being able to get married, something which Chinese Buddhists began allowing which Indian Buddhists didn’t, it’s about not attaching yourself to your spouse or the concept of marriage.

This means living in a way that instead of keeping this image of your spouse in your mind and falling in love with that image, consequently running into problems when that image changes, you let them free and accept them fully for who they are in each moment no matter what changes.

In Zen Buddhism, when students complete their study they’re allowed to enter back into a “normal” life and do things such as marry and take jobs. This is because it’s understood in Zen that non-attachment isn’t about physical items, locations, and such, it’s about the ideas we occupy our minds with.

It’s about what we believe about ourselves and the world around us.

This means that you could lead a perfectly normal life on the surface, but from within live in a way that you don’t attach yourself to any of the things that are a part of your life.

This doesn’t mean you stop caring about them, on the contrary you appreciate them so much more because you’re ever-aware of that they won’t last forever.

So just as you can hold a picked flower in your hand, being well aware that the flower will wilt and die in a matter of days, taking in the smell and beauty of the flower, you can live your entire life savoring every moment knowing that in each moment everything can (and often does) change.

How We Attach in Our Everyday Life

Any belief that you’re this separate entity which exists detached from the rest of existence, and your attempts to cling to these ideas as well as your attempts to cling to expectations about the way the world is supposed to work, cause friction between yourself and the rest of the interconnected world and result in pain and the inability for you to find peace. Ultimately, in a nutshell, that’s what it all comes down to.

But what does this look like in your everyday life? Putting aside all the cosmos this and interconnected that talk, how can we begin to notice this in our daily lives?

When it comes down to it, all attachment originates with the ego. The ego, a construct which was built through years of conditioning and is in no way a “real” part of you at all, is what convinces you that you’re this separate entity disconnected from all other living and non-living things.

So how does look in our everyday lives? Your ego is an image, it’s who you believe yourself to be. And when reality doesn’t match up to the image, friction happens and pain occurs. Pain caused by your attachment to the ego could come from:

Not hitting your personal performance goals at work, leading you to question if your abilities are declining.

Not performing as well during a basketball game with some old friends as you used to when you were younger, realizing you’re not as fit as you used to be and maybe no longer the athlete you thought yourself as.

Finding out your spouse cheated on you and your dream of having a family and living the rest of your life with this great person consequently shattering.

Also, when life doesn’t = your expectations, the same happens:

Losing a loved one and having to come to grips with the fact that this person who meant so much to you and who you’re used to having in your life is gone forever.
Being fired from the job you’ve had for the past 10 years and thought you’d spend the rest of your life at.
A co-worker whom you trusted stabbing you in the back to win a promotion over you.

To see this more clearly, think about something that doesn’t surprise you. Think about a sandwich. Let’s say you really like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and you’re used to having one every afternoon for lunch.

Provided everything goes as normal, you enjoy your sandwich and have a pleasant lunch. But if it turns out your husband or wife pranked you and threw some soy sauce in there when they made your sandwich (no wonder they offered to make it today…), you wouldn’t have a very pleasant lunch.

The surprise of the PB&J not adding up to your expectation is what caused you the pain, not that soy sauce was in it.

If you were to have eaten that sandwich like you had never had a peanut butter sandwich before in your life, without expectations, not only would the real thing have tasted better, experiencing every bite like the first time, but you wouldn’t have been disappointed when you were pranked with the PB&JS (peanut butter and jelly-soy) your spouse made for you because you would have had no expectation of how it should taste.

How to Let Go

The same basic ingredients apply in all methods of letting go, but there’s multiple ways to go about doing it. One very important point I want to mention with regards to the entire subject though is to not attach yourself to any one method of letting go.

It sounds odd that you can find a new attachment through trying to let go of all attachments, but it’s a very real thing to look out for. Don’t get mixed up thinking the finger pointing the way to the moon is the moon itself.

What this means is, first and foremost non-attachment is a state of mind. New attachments will always threaten you, so to live with the state of mind of non-attachment, to realize the importance of living in a way that you go with the natural flow of things and respect the impermanence of all life, is the basis of realizing non-attachment.

Again, there’s many ways to go about it all, but the first step is generally to begin working to identify the ego.

This is generally done through some form of meditation, particularly mindfulness as it allows you to observe yourself “silently” in a way and watch what unfolds and arises from within you. This can take time, and can be challenging, but the process itself is very rewarding.

To strive to live with mindfulness in each moment, whether you’re sitting on the meditation cushion, walking from one place to the next, or are at work, is to shine a light on your entire life and uncover the presence of the ego in each area of your life, even the furthest reaches that lay hidden deep in your subconscious.

To live with mindfulness is also to live fully engaged and yet unattached in that very moment. To be mindful is to be open and accepting of whatever may come in any moment, so mindfulness is a multipurpose tool in letting go of the many attachments we often hold.

But there’s another way to help us let go in our everyday life. To look deeply at those things in our everyday life, especially ourselves, is to realize not only the interconnected nature of all things but also the impermanence (that is, the fact that nothing lasts forever).

This is a technique I go into detail about in Zen for Everyday Life, but because there’s so many ways to use it I’d like to go over another way you can use contemplative meditation to begin helping you let go of the many things you cling to.

Meditating on the End of Your Life

Meditating on death sounded like a bit of a harsh title, but that’s essentially what this meditation is about. Keep in mind, you don’t have to go too deep here. If you do choose to do so though, be careful, you might not like everything you find (which is the same in all forms of meditation, but especially so for this). But I can promise you it will be healing.

This is just another way of taking contemplation, the act of looking deeply at a thing as far back as it will go, and using it on yourself to help you let go of the various attachments that inhibit you from finding peace.

To meditate on death, simply imagine it’s your time and everything that will come with it. You could be on a hospital bed, your personal bed, or somewhere else.

For best effect, imagine the process is pretty far along, and you’ve been looking back on your life. You’ll likely have to sit with this exercise for some time before things begin coming to the surface, but they will come.

Maybe you begin seeing flashes of your daughter, who you’ve fought with for years, come into your mind. You won’t always know why, but by focusing your mind on this near-death event certain things will arise naturally.

Part of this process can be active with contemplation, trying to actively imagine what kinds of things you might regret, want to have done differently, or feel relieved you can finally let go of, and another part of it could be more passive by simply thinking about the situation to yourself for a moment and then proceeding to sit and follow your breath with mindfulness and then acknowledging whatever thoughts arise as a part of that.

However you decide to do it, meditating on the end of your life, the entire experience in as much detail as you can possibly imagine, can be a powerful and highly beneficial exercise.

The Power of Letting Go

What is it like to let go completely? You’ll have to find out for yourself, but there’s a few major changes that will occur as a result of you learning how to overcome all attachments and live freely:

1. You’ll see the beauty in all of life and experience it in its fullness without any “distortion”.

2. You’ll be completely free in each moment and in the truest sense, no longer chained down to attachments.

3. You’ll find peace through having learned how to let go, stop causing friction to your being, and ultimately expressing your true nature.

4. You’ll gain the ability to adapt to any and all changes and keep your peace of mind.

5. You’ll find a great sense of joy in every moment and realize life as one great big adventure because you’re no longer held down by anything.

Source: “The Beginner’s Guide to Letting Go and Becoming Enlightened Through Non-Attachment,” from buddhaimonia.com, by Matt Valentine

7 Things You Must Know to Be a Free-Thinker

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Tue, 17 Mar 2015 04:14:00 +0000

We all have a certain degree of admiration for those forward-thinkers who were ahead of their time or for those free-spirited individuals who had the courage, the will and the foresight to speak out their minds despite risking being labelled as non-conformists and cast to the outer fringes of society.

Well, truth be told, that is never a real threat for free thinkers. Actually that is where they belong and makes them what they are. Free-thinkers breathe and thrive at the margins of society where structure and chaos cross at the borderline. If you want to be a free thinker, embrace chaos, novelty, disruptive change and non-conformity. Free-thinkers live on the brink of social breakdown. They live on the edge, away from the anesthesia of normalcy and institutionalized control.

They are not held captive by the rigid walls of the dominating worldview. They do not fear change, poverty or conspiracy. If you want to free your thinking and become an agent of change and novelty, there are a few things you need to recognise and understand.

1. Creativity is your natural birth right:

We stereotype creative thinkers as artists or bohemians who are different than the rest of us. Well that is plainly false. We are all endowed with the gift of creativity. Education, or rather schooling, has successfully stripped us from that natural disposition. It has moulded us into mechanistic and reductionistic images of humanity – into cogs in the wheel. The schooling system is designed to make people think within the same parameters – those laid down by the dominating view of society and culture.

Students are discouraged to deviate and think freely outside of those parameters. They just have to follow curricula which channels them to examinations, higher institutions and eventually become part of the workforce. Yet creative thinking is your natural birthright. They only taught you how to unlearn it without even noticing.

2. Group thinking & Herd Morality are your enemies:

Group thinking is the silent enemy of free-thinking. We unconsciously follow the rhythm of the crowd. When the crowd shouts, we feel compelled to shout. When the crowd panics, we panic. Emotions, sentiments and ideas can be very contagious. So is thinking. It’s quite easy to follow the line of thought of your peers and those in authority. Yet as we become sedated with group thinking, we lose the power to claim the authenticity of our own mind.

Besides thinking, we judge people and events as being right or wrong following the morality of the herd. We succumb to morally feel what the rest of the herd feels about an issue. Morality is a highly debatable philosophical idea but the short end of it is that herd morality limits our potential to be free-minded, responsible individuals.

3. Perspective is key:

The free-thinker knows the power of perspective. Perspective changes everything. What we feel or think about something can dissolve or flip the other way round just by changing perspective. Even the strongest of views and beliefs can change when a newer perspective is reached. What seems like loss can be seen as opportunity just by changing your perspective. Adversity can turn into a learning opportunity; problems can turn into a solution; what is failure from one perspective can be seen as a launching pad for success from another.

When you think freely you know that there is always more than one perspective on a given situation. You just need to view things from another angle. I like to use the internal courtyard analogy. We are all windows in a circular building overlooking an internal courtyard. The perspective from my window is different than the others. Hence, if I want to have a better picture of the courtyard of life I need to look at it from other windows.

4. Knowledge is provisional:

Conservative, authoritarian, religious or institutional structures resist change forcefully because their worldview rests on the premise that their knowledge or beliefs are absolute. Even Science can and did fall in this trap at times. Yet the free-thinker is sure of only one thing – that knowledge is provisional. What we think we know today will be debunked or dramatically changed by what we know tomorrow. Free-thinkers run away from individuals or organisations who claim to know something, or worse, know everything. They are fully aware that we haven’t got the faintest clue yet, despite big leaps forward, about the world, life and the Universe at large.

5. Popping the time bubble:

Free-thinkers, especially visionaries and forward-thinkers have burst the time bubble. That means that they recognised that we view the world through the narrative of our time. That narrative changes over decades and centuries yet we are closed in a time bubble so to speak that limits us to see the world only within the narrative of our own time. The greatest innovators, futurists, visionaries and thinkers saw beyond that narrative. They burst the time bubble open and saw ahead of their time.

6. Defying institutional pressures:

Society had two major forces at play. One is a top-down control transmitted hierarchically through the institutions. The other is a force of change, novelty and innovation which is built bottom-up from individuals and slowly accepted and adopted by larger social structures. One crazy innovative idea from a free-thinker on the fringes of society can be taken up by some influencers and spread virally through the mass media until it becomes a norm. OK this is a simplistic overview but it’s enough to show the basic mechanics of social change.

Free thinkers are those individuals on the fringes of society cooking up shockingly new ideas. They refuse to succumb to institutional pressures of uniformity and control. The institutional top-down forces are there mainly to preserve their status-quo, the stability of the social system and its identity hence they resist novelty and change. The power of the free-thinker on the other hand, lies in constantly defying these institutional pressures to abide to the rules and accepted norms of society.

7. Perception is to be altered not accepted:

Another powerful tool in the free-thinker’s toolbox is perception, or rather its bending and shifting. Philosophers have debated the nature of perception for ages. There are some who hold that perception gives us a reliable view of how our outer reality is and some other argue that perception is greatly influenced and fixed by our beliefs and knowledge. A classic example is colour perception. Colour is only a conventional label. What may seem plainly white to you, is only one of a large variety of hues for the Inuit eskimo who practically lives in a white world. They can differentiate between a wide range of ‘whites’ and they even have words to describe them. The perception is different and so is their reality.

Free-thinking individuals understand how perception is fixed and limited by our consensual view of the world. Yet in reality, perception need not be fixed; It can be altered and changed. It comes to no surprise then that many free-thinkers turn to ancient traditions who had studied and tinkered with perception for millennia either by disciplined practices or entheogens. Famous free-thinkers like Timothy O’Leary, Terence McKenna and Ram Dass come to mind.

To be a free thinker, you have to break free from social, institutional, and cultural conditioning. You also have to break free from your skeptical/rational mind at times, and allow your imagination and intuition to be your guide. Don’t be afraid to step outside of the box.

Source: “7 Things You Must Know to Be a Free-Thinker,” from soulhiker.com, by Gilbert Ross

Key To Happy Ending

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Mon, 16 Mar 2015 18:28:00 +0000

7 meaningful touches every husband should use to reach for his wife

noreply@blogger.com (Azmie21) — Mon, 16 Mar 2015 18:23:00 +0000

The human touch has powerful benefits to both parties — physically, emotionally, physiologically, and even spiritually. Studies have revealed innumerable benefits. Here are 7 meaningful touches every husband should use to reach for his wife.
I recently called to check on my father who wasn't feeling well. After talking for a few minutes, I asked about his wife (not my mother). They've enjoyed a wonderful relationship for 45 years of marriage. He said, "She is doing well, sitting here holding my hand."
I must admit, I thought of that as a Hallmark moment — a seasoned couple sitting in their cabin on a mountain in Arkansas still in love and holding hands.
The human touch has amazingly powerful benefits to both parties — physically, emotionally, physiologically, and even spiritually. Studies have revealed innumerable benefits. Unfortunately, some men have allowed their hands to withdraw from reaching for their wives. Here are seven meaningful touches every husband should use to reach for his wife.
1. Reach for your wife first thing in the morning. It may be a gentle pat as you're getting out of bed or a hug when you first see each other but reach for her before you get busy with the day.
2. Throughout the day, a text or quick phone call is a great touch of affection that will go a long way in letting her know she is on your mind. A simple, "I love you." or, "Just thinking about you and looking forward to the evening."
3. Write a note the old-fashioned way. We're so tech-savvy these days that sometimes an old-fashioned approach is more meaningful.
4. Whether your wife loves flowers, chocolate or shoes, sending these on "regular" days rather than typical celebration days will be a huge touch.
5. Save some energy so you can give your wife special attention when you return home. Embrace her warmly and greet her when you first enter the home.
6. Hold her hand at random times — driving, walking or just sitting at home.
7. Give her a back rub.
Bonus Touch
I want to add one more to the list that is a real standout, and it will take your relationship to another dimension.
Pray with and about her. Pray for her dreams while praying in agreement with her. This may take you out of your comfort zone, but I promise you this will be a game changer in your spiritual walk and leadership with your wife and family.
Reach out and touch your wife. The benefits are immeasurable.