The Road Apple

No Stirrups November

2023-11-30T23:30:00.004-08:00

Oh, is November over already? I guess I missed it.

Maybe I Will Just Keep My Stirrups All Month May

2023-05-01T06:12:00.001-07:00

It is time to start celebrating Maybe I Will Just Keep My Stirrups All Month May!

Feet in the Stirrups February

2023-02-06T18:31:00.002-08:00

I hope everyone is resting up for No Stirrups November by enjoying Feet in the Stirrups February!

Obviously I am Going to Keep My Stirrups All Month October

2022-10-01T01:00:00.006-07:00

As we look ~~forward~~ ahead to No Stirrups November, we wonder why November is the only month to get a special designation. Here at Hillbilly Farms we believe every month is special, so we are going to give designations to every month. Today we officially declare that October is:

Obviously I am Going to Keep My Stirrups All Month October

PSA: ShowSheen

2022-09-02T19:42:00.000-07:00

ShowSheen: It's for tails only.

#safetyisnoaccident

Breed Mottos: Andalusian

2022-05-09T08:31:00.005-07:00

Andalusian: The delusion is right there in the name.

Horse Sales Terminology: Daisy Cutter

2022-05-02T13:20:00.001-07:00

Daisy Cutter: A horse whose trot has a vertical stabbing motion suitable for decapitating daisies.

Lead Change Prayer

2022-04-29T15:19:00.002-07:00

Lord,

Grant me the serenity to accept the leads I cannot change,

The courage to change the leads I can,

And the wisdom to use my inside leg and not my inside rein.

Amen

Breed Mottos: POAs

2021-10-03T13:32:00.001-07:00

POAs: They learn same thing new every day.

November 2020

2020-11-01T00:00:00.001-07:00

November 2020 - I am just going to go ahead and keep my stirrups this year.

Horsemanship Challenge

2020-03-15T17:34:00.000-07:00

Horsemanship Challenge: Try to groom a shedding horse without ever touching your face.

Bring It On!

2019-11-01T00:01:00.000-07:00

The days are getting shorter, the weather is getting blustery, and the horses are getting frisky. This can mean only one thing: It is time to tempt fate and drop my stirrups. Bring on No Stirrups November! (Actually, my horse thinks there is a goblin in the bushes, so maybe I should pick up my stirrups, just for now.)

Pony Quotes

2019-04-22T20:03:00.000-07:00

"It's not my fault that you ran your knee into a tree. You really need to look where I am going."
-Rupert

Area Horse Didn't Lose His Shoe, He Knows Exactly Where It Is

2019-01-12T20:24:00.000-08:00

Area Horse Didn't Lose His Shoe, He Knows Exactly Where It Is

Area Horse Knows He Is Going To Be Blamed

2018-12-03T16:49:00.000-08:00

Local rider Mary Deane is sporting a black eye after walking into a lamp post while texting yesterday. "She collided with a stationary object but she is letting everyone think that I did it to her," said Mr. Jax, Deane's Arabian gelding. "Seriously, she walked into a lamp post and she wants to blame it on me. Can you believe it?" Mr. Jax has decided not to set the record straight in order to increase his barn cred.

No No Stirrups November Contest

2018-11-10T12:27:00.000-08:00

Flemington, NJ -- Every November, while the riders of Rising Star Farm have a contest to see who can ride without stirrups the most, the horses hold their own contest to see who can convince their riders to ride without stirrups the least.

Last year's winner, Tick Tock, is on track for a personal best this year. "The first time Lindsay tried to drop her stirrups this month I shot across the arena and then slammed on the brakes." As of November 10th, Tick Tock has a total score of 5 seconds. His winning score last year was 12 minutes and 33 seconds.

But 5 seconds might not be enough to win this year because newcomer Snafu is bringing his A-game. "When Sarah brought out the saddle without stirrups on November 1st, I pretended I had never seen a saddle before. She made the wise decision to put the stirrups back on before saddling me. Then a few days later I think she was thinking about dropping her stirrups so I started playing hot lava in the arena, where the arena sand is the lava." With 20 days to go, Snafu is the leader with 0 seconds. And he feels confident he can hold the lead. "I can keep this up for the rest of the month, definitely."

Equestrian Sniglets - chicago-screwed

2018-08-09T13:37:00.000-07:00

chicago-screwed (shĭ-kă'gō-skro͞od) adj.
The position you are in when an essential piece of tack breaks at the worst possible moment.

Example: My horse was galloping down the trail and I was trying to stop him when my bridle broke and fell off. I was totally chicago-screwed.

Unsung Heroes: Peter Rabbit

2018-07-22T19:41:00.002-07:00

Peter Rabbit now allows himself to be sprayed with flyspray without acting like he is getting zapped with 10,000 volts of electricity with every spritz.

Equestrian Sniglets - lametastic

2018-07-14T06:34:00.000-07:00

lametastic (lām-tăs'tĭk) adj.
Extraordinarily talented and chronically unsound.
Synonym: limpcredible

Example: My friend has a lametastic horse—he jumps 5 feet, has two bowed tendons, and recently injured a suspensory.

Equestrian Sniglets - fugiturd

2018-07-08T18:16:00.001-07:00

fugiturd (fyo͞o'jĭ-tərd) n.
That one piece of manure that won't get onto the manure fork and into the wheelbarrow.

Example: I would have been done cleaning stalls ages ago except I wasted way too much time chasing a fugiturd around. And it still managed to get away.

Equestrian Sniglets - wishtance

2018-07-01T07:50:00.000-07:00

wishtance (wĭsh'-təns) n.
When approaching a jump, the distance you see that isn't actually there.

Example: I was totally going to win that class until I saw a wishtance to the last oxer.

New Product Alert: Fecal Enlightenment System

2017-12-10T20:28:00.000-08:00

Manure Solutions, Inc., the leading innovator of manure related products, today announced the release of their new Fecal Enlightenment System. "This system is a must have for horsemen who do barn chores after dark. Our flexible, patent-pending mounting system will mount any flashlight onto the handle of a manure fork. The Fecal Enlightenment System is a must-have for those nights when you can't see sh*t."

Fecal Enlightenment System

Mounting system includes a roll of duct tape. Manure fork and flashlight sold separately.

Enlightened manure

Another Victim of No Stirrups November

2017-11-15T11:36:00.000-08:00

Seattle, WA -- This morning No Stirrups November claimed yet another victim. Convinced by the Internet that it was a good idea to ride without stirrups on a blustery November morning, Melody Parker added a broken collarbone to her already sore leg muscles. Next year Parker plans to spend all of November in the southern hemisphere to avoid the Internet's "Let's All Fall Off More In The Fall" campaign.

Area Horse Alarmed To See His Name On The List For The Next Furrier Appointment

2017-11-11T07:30:00.000-08:00

Area Horse Alarmed To See His Name On The List For The Next Furrier Appointment

For Sale: Big Bay Gelding, Tons of Potential

2017-05-05T17:24:00.000-07:00

Big bay gelding for sale. 16.1 hands, 23 years old. Tons of potential to eat hay and roll around in the mud. Currently in training for competitive pasture ornament shows. Price will decrease with training.