I don’t believe in regrets – they’re not good for much.

I miss Louisiana, but not necessarily the place. I miss sitting on my back porch talking with a good friend with a six-pack of Abita beer in hand and watching Merlot running around the yard. I miss getting excited about a new sushi restaurant downtown. I miss wasting gas and driving around the back-roads of North Louisiana to clear my head with mood-appropriate music blaring. I miss my friends.

I miss a time and place that no longer exist in reality.

People ask me if I miss Belgium, and I say immediately that I miss it more than you can imagine. But my time there was the time of a student surrounded by some of the best friends I’ve ever met. I experienced some of the happiest and pushed through some of the darkest times of my life there. It holds and will always hold a spectacularly special place in my heart. But, it’s not like it was now. I miss the experiences I was lucky enough to have while I did, so the question “do you miss Belgium?” is quite irrelevant.

A friend of mine continually says I will miss Paris in spite of myself (in spite of my complaining of the weather, the tourists, the metro, the bureaucracy, etc.). I corrected her – I WILL miss Paris, not a single doubt, but not the place. I will miss the people, my friends, the nights out, the “experience” – all of which will not exist after this semester. We will all disperse back to our corners of the world, and Paris [as I know and love it] will not be here.

That’s what life is about – experiences; and they’re fleeting, but always anew on the horizon.

The experience of starting over multiple times has taught me a lot. In a similar conversation, I made a startling statement [even to me]: “I wonder when I’ll be ready to return to the States…I enjoy being a foreigner too much.” I said it without even thinking, but it is true. As strange as it sounds, I enjoy having to start over – it proves every time that I can do it. I can make my own way through dark times, I can make friends wherever I am, I can handle missing out on special occasions, I can find happiness where I am at the moment. I find that to be an invaluable skill.

So on this almost-eve marking my completed second year in Europe – here’s to starting over – over and over again, just to prove you can.

Try it, you might surprise yourself.

I did.

– Ross E.

I came upon this quote the other day while spending some time on Pinterest. And it so eloquently and simply put into words the feelings I have about my friends and acquaintances. Having moved across the ocean with not a friend on this continent, it means even more to me now.

I think of all the amazing people I’ve met here in Belgium, and by what chance I just happened to meet them.

I can trace the majority of my Belgian/Flemish friends back to a single person, my downstairs neighbor, Charlotte. She was my neighbor for 13 months in an apartment that I happened upon quite by accident – I was actually looking at another apartment on a lengthy “possible apts list” I had made and when I decided to not take a particular apartment, I thanked the landlord and began to make my exit when he mentioned that he had another apartment not far away. I was already a bit discouraged from all the overpriced, unkempt apartments and I was *THIS CLOSE* to resigning myself to giving up! But I went with him to see this apartment – an apartment not even on my list – an apartment I never saw online. It was the apartment I took, it was the apartment I lived in for 13 months, it was the apartment I loved, it was the apartment in which I met Charlotte. Charlotte introduced me to all of her friends and we all became quite close – honestly I don’t think I could mention all of them here; there are so many. They made my year in Leuven unforgettable, and we all get along so well that I find it more than a coincidence that we were all brought together.

I think of all the friends I’ve made that have now dispersed back to their respective homes in the world: Lithuania, Turkey, Russia, US, Bulgaria, Romania, France, Ireland…It’s simply spectacular that we all met and have the honor of calling each other friends.

An even crazier story is how met someone I now easily call one of my greatest friends – Laurel:

It was orientation day at KUL, a day I actually considered skipping since I had already missed the first 4 days; however, this day was the opening day and we were to receive a speech and something or other. Naturally, i did not know anyone at KUL orientation at this point, and I honestly wasn’t too sure where to even go. I arrived at what I assumed was the correct building and stood aimlessly outside as the crowd made its way inside the recently unlocked and opened doors. I saw someone sitting across the street, seemingly as uninterested as I was (haha), and I went to ask her if this was the right building for orientation – she said yes in perfect American English. I asked her where she was from and she said California/TX and I said I was from Louisiana – then she shared she’d studied in New Orleans for a few years at Tulane! We chatted for a bit, amazed at what a small world it truly is. We introduced ourselves and said we’d we would meet up after the speech – we didn’t. As soon as I got home I did some major facebook stalking to find someone named Laurel or Laura or Laurie (I’m bad with names…) who was from TX, studied in NOLA and CA and was now at KUL. Well…as a master at Facebook, I somehow found her. The rest is history. She became my closest confidante and aid in Belgium, a role I hope I occasionally returned. Through Laurel I met Tinne (from Belgium) and Sevan (from France) [as well as other great people] – that I am honored to call my friends. Laurel met her husband, Daniele, while in Belgium. I was honored to have been present at their small and intimate wedding – the room was so full of love and appreciation and respect that it felt tangible. It gave me hope for true love – sometimes it’s an ocean away and you don’t even know it. In so many ways, the amount that Laurel’s presence and friendship helped me through some very dark times is simply inexpressible – for that I feel we were meant to meet.

I’m not a religious person, and I don’t believe there are actually fates out there trimming threads of life or guiding our destiny; however, I do believe that we meet people for a reason at a time when we need them most. Each of them teaches us a lesson and helps us grow as a person. Whether the relationships are painful or happy, they teach us something about who we are, who we can be, who we need to be…

I have the same feeling about love these days – I’ve stopped worrying about finding someone or dating someone. I’ve been single for 17 months now and honestly, I can’t say I’ve ever been happier. I’m sure there’s someone out there that I will one day call my soul mate, but I’m not searching for that person – I’ll let time play a role.

<side note> Aristophanes, a character in The Symposium by Plato, told a story of ancient humans with 4 arms, 4 legs, and 2 faces. These humans tried to climb Mount Olympus to challenge the gods, and Zeus feared their strength. So as punishment Zeus split them in half and cursed them to spend their lives searching for their lost half. Hence: soul mates. <end side note>

So next time you meet someone or next time you come upon a fork in the road – maybe it’s meant to be. If you’re sitting on the couch, you won’t be meeting any new people that will change your life. Take some risks, take some chances – I did, and I don’t have a single regret about it.

– Ross

My entire degree is:

Master of Science in Business Economics; Managerial Economics & Strategy (M), International Business (m).

Upon graduation, we were asked to be ambassadors for KUL – spread the word of this hidden gem. I feel the best way to do this is for me to be included on a list of notable alumni one day (this is the plan…), but until then here’s some shameless promotion for my Alma Mater, KULeuven:

I am truly beyond proud to be a graduate of Katholieke Universiteit Leuven, a university founded in 1425 (making it the oldest existing Catholic university in the world and the oldest university in the Low Countries) – for perspective, fellow Americans, 1425 is 15 years before the first printing press was invented and the Incan empire still ruled the Americas; it is 26 years before Christopher Columbus was even born; it’s more than 3.5 centuries before the drafting of our Declaration of Independence. Basically, it’s a long time ago.

KULeuven boasts over 36,000 students, 12% of them international representing 120+ countries, and 4,500 students in either research-based masters or one of 150+ PhD programs.  It consistently ranks in the top 10 of Europe in terms of research output*. In fact, KULeuven is the ONLY non-US university to rank in the world-wide top 10 in terms of royalty income. KUL spent over €225 million on research in 2005 alone. Our research has lead to an impressive 70 spin-offs in the last 20 years that employ over 6,000 people – and this is not even including the “solid state and miniaturisation lab” (IMEC) which employs almost 2,000 people, including over 500 engineers and physics PhDs from all around the world. IMEC alone realized revenue of over €285 million in 2010. “~90% of KUL’s 300 R&D patent families are actively valorized and marketed at the moment…the average for European universities is currently 33%.*”

KUL has been a European center for academia for almost 6 centuries. It was ranked 68th in the world and top 25 in Europe by QS World University Rankings* – higher than many well-known US institutions such as Purdue University (85), Penn State (94), Dartmouth (99), UC Davis (101), Emory University (114), Rice University (117), Vanderbilt (131), and Michigan State (164)*.

KUL and the City of Leuven’s history runs very deep into Europe’s past. In fact, two of the most significant library burnings/losses in history happened to KUL – in 1914, German troops set fire to University Hall and destroyed more than 300,000 books; In 1940, German troops once again burned the relatively newly constructed Central Library (at Ladeuzeplein), destroying all but 15,000 of its more than 900,000 volumes.

KUL has also produced many notable alumni:

Recent & easily identifiable/recognizable by title: 

Leon Bekaert (1958-) – Belgian businessman with an estimated fortune of  €761 million, making him one of the wealthiest people in Belgium.

Paul Bulcke (1954-) – Chief Executive Officer (CEO) of Nestlé

Herman Van Rompuy (1947-) – President of the European Council

Historical:

Adriaan Floriszoon Boeyens – Pope Adrian VI (the last non-italian pope until Pope John Paul II)

Desiderius Erasmus (1466-1536) – “Prince of the Humanists”

Andreas Vesalius (1514-1564) – “Father of Modern Anatomy;” Author of “De Humani Corporis Fabrica”

Gerardus Mercator (1512-1594) – His name may sound familiar to you…maps, maybe?

Patrick Francis Healy (1830-1910) – 29th President of Georgetown University, known for it’s expansion after the american Civil War. Recognized as the first American with African ancestry to earn a PhD (and he did so at KUL!).

Monsignor George Henri Joseph Édouard Lemaître (1894-1966) – conceived the “hypothesis of the primeval atom,” now commonly referred to as “The Big Bang Theory.”

Baron Charles-Jean Étienne Gustave Nicolas de la Vallée Poussin (1866-1962) – Belgian Mathematician; proved the Prime Number Theorem.

Refael Ángel del Socorro Calderón Guardia (1900-1970) – President of Costa Rica (1940-1944); remembered for being the 1st Central American president to primarily focus attention on deteriorating social conditions and poverty. He founded systems such as the universal health care, high education levels, and the social security that Costa Rica is now well-known for.

Otto von Habsburg (Archduke Otto of Austria) (1912-2011) – The last crown prince of Austria-Hungary.

Christian de Duve (1917-) – Nobel Prize for Physiology or Medicine winner for describing the structure of oganelles in biological cells.

Géza Vermes (1924-) – Translator of the Dead Sea Scrolls (into English)

Bernard Lietaer (1942-) – Well-known monetary economist and author; 1992’s “world’s top currency trader” by BusinessWeek; researched and sold the rights to his “floating exchange” methods to currency exchange.

There are many many more, and Google will be your friend in finding them. I just tried to list a few here that I figured most of my readers will have either 1) heard of or 2) heard of their work.

I loved Katholeike Universiteit Leuven, every aspect of it…even the 12-hour days in the library week after week…the seemingly endless all-essay exams and research/group projects and my thesis…it was 100% worth it. Not only that, Leuven is one of the most amazing cities I’ve ever visited, much less gotten the chance to live for over a year. I will miss them both very much.

The last year held a lot for me. I’ve made some of my closest friends here, and I love them all dearly (y’all know who you are!).  Belgium has seen my highest highs; it’s seen my lowest lows. But through it all, this has easily been one of the best experience of my life. I grew not only as a student and academic, but as a person. 16 months ago, I entered belgium without a single friend here and zero expectations; 16 months ago, I could have never foreseen my amazing present.

It will take a lot to top this past year, but I plan on doing my best to make every year from here on out as memorable as this past one!

– Ross, a proud alumnus

 I Don’t Wanna Be a Bride – Vanessa Carlton

U-Turn (Lily) – Aaron

This song was actually featured on a French movie I’ve been watching recently: Je Vais Bien, Ne t’en Fais Pas (I’m okay, don’t worry). I really love the song…favorite line: “it’s not the wings that make the angel…”

Gonna Get There – Tim Knol

So you’ll have to ignore the weirdness and potentially disturbing nature of this music video…I really enjoy the song, and I tried to find a good recording of it on YouTube minus this crazy video…but alas, all of them were live and they sounded horrible. So just enjoy the song and ignore the music video. hahaha

The City – Patrick Wolf

Close your eyes and you’ll feel like you’re in the 80’s ;)

[EDIT: actually, upon re-watching the video, you don’t even have to close your eyes…this video looks like it was shot (AWESOMELY) with an Ampex! hahaha! By the way, also worth noting, the caption of that photo is “first ever portable VHS Camcorder”….that certainly seems debatable…only 50 lbs and just $65,000]

Wavin’ Flag – K’NAAN

“When I get older, I will be stronger – they’ll cal me freedom, just like a wavin’ flag!”

Different Story – Lola Kite

Y’all have a great day now, ya hear?

– Ross

But now that I’m further along in the process, I feel it’s a good time to put it out there.

After 3+ months of getting together my application, background checks, transcripts, reference letters, and an hour-long web interview this afternoon – I have officially been nominated as a United States Peace Corps Volunteer for French-West Sub-Saharan Africa in Business Advising & Development for June 2012.

A couple of years ago when I finished university at Louisiana Tech, I first filled out my application to the PC, but upon much introspection, I felt I may have been going into it for the wrong reasons. As cliché as it may seem, I wasn’t 100% comfortable with myself and my identity. My identity was very much connected to the identity that others had of me in North Louisiana – I was Ross Frazier the photographer, Ross Frazier the Tech student, or Ross Frazier – a member of the Frazier Clan (haha). I’d never truly left the area and I didn’t have much of an identity outside of it. I figured undertaking such a challenge as the Peace Corps may not be the best way to succeed at “finding myself” – I needed to be comfortable with “me” before taking on a job where people would be dependent on that definition of “me.”

So I decided to continue school far away from “home” and far away from all the friends I knew and loved. Here I sit in Belgium, my new “home” surrounded by equally amazing friends. I’ve proven to myself that I can uproot myself and still find happiness; I can weather dark times and come out even better than before; I can make lasting friendships anywhere in the world; I can find a smile no matter the circumstances.

It is after the revelation that has been my year+ in Belgium (remember THIS post) that I have decided NOW is the time – the RIGHT time to embark on a challenge bigger than myself, a challenge harder than anything I’ve undertaken before, a challenge more demanding than any previous in my life. That is why a few months ago, I began filling out my application, asking for references, getting fingerprinted, getting a background check, writing my essays, and interviewing for my entrance into the Peace Corps.

All of the work, all of the stress (and keep in mind, it’s still just the beginning!) have culminated in the moment I enjoyed this afternoon: receiving a nomination to serve.

I still have a lot of work ahead of me; a nomination does not equal an invitation. I must pass more tests, medical and legal among others, to make sure I qualify on all fronts. There is a chance that my nomination will not be the same (in terms of location and job description) as the invitation to serve that I will hopefully get after I pass the medical, legal, and other placement requirements are met. But nonetheless, this is a huge step in the process and I am beyond honored to have made it this far in the continued hope of serving the greater world community and continuing the exceptional reputation that the Peace Corps has built over the past 50+ years.

So with great honor and enthusiasm in all of my heart, I am proud to announce this great decision in my life to you. I hope you will join me in this journey as I take on what will undoubtedly be one of the grandest experiences of my life.

And as always, I appreciate the support, love, thoughts, prayers, and good vibes that all of my friends and family have provided over the years, and I will appreciate your continued support; y’all truly are the greatest!

– Ross

I stood staring at the paper attempting to find the right column to look at – I could tell Anna, my cousin, was a little nervous as my face gave no clues and she knew how nervous I was! I kept scanning the column full of numbers over 10 certain I must have been looking at the wrong column. I finally looked up holding back tears and said in a shaky voice, “I did it! I passed all of them!” She gave me a big hug and I immediately ran down stairs to call my parents and Laurel. Neither of whom immediately picked up their phones!!!  Finally I got in touch with Mom and Dad and immediately start crying as I told them that all the hard work I’d put in had finally paid off.

I have to admit, I’m still a bit in shock over a week later…All the hours, days, and weeks I spent at the library studying my ass off – all for the moment of seeing that paper.

My transcript – showing I passed all of my exams (lowest grade of 12/20 this semester – WOOHOO!!) – now has a prominent position on my fridge :)

Once I finish and defend my thesis (hopefully in the next couple of months), I will officially be a Master of Science, Business Economics: Managerial Economics and Strategy; minor: International Business.

Thank you for all the finger crossing, candle lighting, prayers, and good vibes y’all sent my way!

Greatchadayis,

– Ross

P.S. – all the C’s in that column are the key/code for “passing” – it’s uncorrelated with the traditional grading scale of the US’s A, B, C, D, & F.  haha Just FYI

Unfortunately, I don’t really have a good answer…but while I was walking in the Brussels Central Park, I came up with the closest thing to an answer that I could:

We put ourselves in these situations with inevitable good-byes because the moments and memories between the nice-to-meet-ya and good-bye far outweigh the momentary sadness of the end.

So despite the sadness, I regret nothing. And after all, there is no such thing as good-bye, merely see-ya-laters; if not in this life, in our next.

I’ve heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true
But I know I’m who I am today
Because I knew you…

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made from what I learned from you
You’ll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend…

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

Because I knew you
I have been changed for good

And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I’ve done you blame me for

But then, I guess we know
There’s blame to share
And none of it seems to matter anymore

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

Who can say if I’ve been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

And because I knew you…

Because I knew you…

Because I knew you…
I have been changed for good.

To be honest, I never truly believed I would make such amazing friends in my short time here…but alas, I did. Amazing and true friends that I couldn’t be more thankful for…

– Ross

Then you get to the second and third weeks where the hatred of your new routine has now dwarfed the previous appreciation you had for it. You wake up before your alarm due to bright sun entering your windows at ungodly hours in the morning, and you roll out of bed wondering what fresh Hell the day will bring. You wet your hair down within an acceptable afro range and comb it in the hopes it will stay down for most of the day to prevent a jew-fro despite the fact you’re Scotch-Irish. You throw on clothes not caring that someone will undoubtedly notice you’ve been wearing the same zero-effort outfit for the past 5 days. You add a Diet Coke to your study bag for the caffeine…which is soon replaced by multiple RedBulls after the Diet Coke loses any and all effect…you also tend to forget about the water, too…eff that, right? Then you get to wait in line at the library, moping and sighing so everyone knows just how ridiculous you think it is that one has to WAIT IN LINE AT A LIBRARY. So nowadays your studying is less frequently interrupted with YouTube-distraction-breaks, since at this point the exams are taking place seemingly every other day and you’ve somehow managed to read hundreds of pages of textbook and write 70-100+ pages of notes for each class; yet still also manage to read over it and think “there’s no way I wrote this…I’ve never seen this before…WTF?!” Then you go home and fall asleep to some depressing documentary about teenagers with children in abusive families and ya think “well, at least I won’t have a teenager at my 10 year reunion…?”

Then you enter the last week of studying…You wake up and instead of “wondering what fresh Hell the day will bring” you pretty much know at this point….and you certainly dont give a rat’s a** what you look like – cologne takes on new meanings, by the way. You’re 4 exams deep into the Blok and you’ve got ONE more. You wake up in the mornings of the last week cursing the day you signed up for this class thinking it would be easy…You take your last  exam…probably fail it…then you’re done!

If you ever finish an exam period not knowing what to do with yourself – I’ll tell you what I did: I finished my exam period by leaving the exam room and making a bee-line to the nearest bar.

Now I await my results…July 7th…I certainly wonder what Hell that day will bring…for the love of God, PLEASE keep your fingers crossed for me!!!!! :~)

Y’all have a great day now, ya hurr?!

– Ross

For example:

For me and much of the rest of the world, the British don’t drive on the left side of the road, they drive on the wrong side of the road.

This is pretty revealing isn’t it?

Although very hard to do, it’s becoming more and more necessary to attempt to view other cultures without so much bias from our own.

As the French philosopher Jean Baudrillard once said “To open our eyes to the absurdity of our own customs is the charm and benefit of travel.”

Think about it…

– Ross

P.S. – the text book, if you’re interested, is Managing Across Cultures by Susan Schneider and Jean-Louis Barsoux. It’s very well-written and a nice read for a text book.

My mom said  somewhere around 4th grade was the cutoff  point – when she stopped asking me if I had homework or if I had something for her to sign. Randi always tells the story of when she wasn’t ready on time for school one day, and mom said “let’s go, time to go!” and she walked out the door and started driving down the driveway…sans Randi. Randi had to run and catch up to the car and all was well. Lesson learned. hahaha Randi still isn’t always punctual, but hey – who is? She is however very independent just like me, we can hold our own.

I even remember some of my friends’ moms would actually go through their backpacks (in JUNIOR HIGH!!!!!) to check for stuff their children needed to do. This seems immensely silly to me – but so does beating your children and some parents do that all the time – guess I don’t understand that either, cause it was never done to me.

During this current exam period from Hell (I’ve taken 4 so far, 1 to go!), I’ve heard so many students say stuff to the effect of “if I fail a test, my parents will be so pissed”  – by the way, it’s necessary to mention at this point that exams are so difficult here, failing an exam is not an isolated or rare occurrence. I think it’s rarer if someone actually passes ALL of their exams on the first try. They even give tolerance points where you can “fail” a test with one or two points under passing and “cash in” points to get through without having to retake the exam {you can only do this a few times…and we don’t have any tolerance points for my masters program :( first year ever that they don’t have them…sucks.} Either way, back to the point.

I NEVER remember worrying about what my parents would think or how they would feel if I didn’t do well in school, and I certainly don’t worry about it now – I’m 22 and getting my masters, I’m certainly not in it for my parents. I didn’t do any of my schooling “for my parents” I did it for myself. I graduated high school with a 4.0/4.0 at the top of my class and graduated university with 3.883/4.0 magna cum laude from Tech FOR MYSELF, not anyone else. And in this way, I believe that’s why I was successful at it. The only stress that was put upon me was from my own crazy mind. My mom would usually be the one calming me down saying “a B is still great!” Even just the other day at lunch, I was b*tching about my exams and spending 10-12 HOURS A DAY at the library feeling like I’m getting no where and how I just knew I would fail my Competitive Analysis and Strategy exam (which I think I did…this morning) and I was (am) VERY upset about it, and mom said “well, if you do, you’ll just take it again in September and it’ll all be fine.” Don’t ya think that’s a lot nicer than “if you fail this test, we will be so disappointed in you…you have to try harder.” Cause guess what? That’d probably have the OPPOSITE effect, I can tell ya that.

I’m not really sure why I felt the need to share this, I guess it just struck me as odd that so many students are out there only doing it for their parents/family – that’s what their family expects of them, so they do it. I guess it just seems strange to me, as I was reared to believe in myself, do things on my own, do them for myself, and think for myself. In that way, I never needed someone to sit me down at a table and say “study.” and “work. now.” I did it on my own…with some relatively good outcomes, I think.

So I’m not telling you how to rear your children or what your parents might be doing or have done wrong! I guess, since my parents are some of the only people who read this blog, I’m actually writing it to them…to thank them. I appreciate to no end the fact that I grew up knowing they’d always be proud of me and that they expected nothing more from me than to be the best person I could be under definitions that I set. It’s nice to have unending support from the people you love the most.

Throughout the years, I think I have made my parents very proud – but that’s not why I did it.

– Ross