And I think to myself, “If only you were a fly on my wall. You would never, ever say that.”

Because, friends, I am far from amazing.

I’m a dirty, rotten sinner…And I say that in all honesty. If it wasn’t for Jesus…

Oh, if it wasn’t for Jesus.

The ONLY good I do is because of Him. It’s His righteousness showing through me.

So, if you ever read this blog, and think, “How does she do it?”, I’ll tell you the answer…I don’t.

He does.

I shout at my kids.

He gives me forgiveness.

I focus on the wrong things.

He helps me see the precious people and things in my world.

I neglect my chores.

He makes me clean.

I feel like quitting.

He gives me strength to go on.

It’s ALL about HIM, dear friends. If you don’t know Him, please take the time to make your life right with Him. He is my only saving grace. My reason for living. My hope and my glory.

I am no superwoman. But I do serve the most amazing God.

Friends, I may have misjudged Susie Larson’s book. My review was honest from my perspective…but I’m happy to report that the author (Susie Larson) responded to my review on Amazon. And I wanted to post her response here, so my readers have a more accurate view of her heart. Here goes!

“Dear Friend,
Normally I wouldn’t respond to review of my book but I just had to in this case. I’m so sorry for how the book made you feel. That was not at all my intention. In fact, I often say that those serving in hidden ways that the world never sees will be most celebrated in heaven. Staying at home to love on your children is one of the most beautiful, noble things you could do. And your ‘Susie Olsteen’ reference broke my heart because I do not at all subscribe to the prosperity message. My heart beats for the poor and the broken and the captive. The message behind the book truly is for the woman whose fears and insecurities keep her from believing God wants to do great things in and through her–great things, I mean, from heaven’s perspective, not the world’s. I mention writing the letter, delivering the meal, forgiving the offender. This is not an ‘achieve all you can achieve in your lifetime’ message, but rather an Ephesians 3:20-21 message, that God wants to do immeasurably more that you can dare to ask or think, for His glory and for His Kingdom. I’m sorry the book did not resonate with you in that way. May God surround you with His tender mercies as you do the sacred work of raising your precious children. Blessings to you, in Christ Jesus. Susie Larson”

I stand corrected!

Dear Luke,

I know you hate public displays of affection, so I’ll try to go easier on you this year. You’re welcome.

The kids and I love you more than words can express, and we’re so thankful for your godly leadership of our family. We don’t deserve you, but we’re so thankful that God blessed us with you.

It’s been fun to watch you grow more and more into a man of God over this past decade. I can’t wait to see what the next decade holds.

I love you with all of my heart,
Lacey

Here are Caleb’s questions and answers.

Caleb, opening a birthday card

My favorite food is: that soup we just ate.
My favorite sport to play is: baseball.
The coolest person on Earth is: Daddy.
My favorite movie to watch is: Brave, when we stand in line at Sam’s Club. (*Editorial note: I watched Brave last fall and didn’t think it was appropriate for our kiddos at their ages. Little stinker watches it in the checkout line, apparently.)
My favorite thing to learn about in school is: science.
If I could go anywhere in the world, I’d go to: Mongolia.
My favorite color is: blue.
When I grow up, I’m going to: be a construction worker.
Three words that describe me are: I love baseball.
When I was little, I used to: be naughty.
My favorite season of the year is: summer break from school.
The snack I like the best is: donuts!
My favorite thing about church is: that we get to learn about Jesus.
My favorite Scripture verse is: Psalm 27:1 – “The Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?”
My favorite song is: We Will Rock You
One of my best friends is: Isaac.
My favorite thing to do outside is: play with Isaac.
If I had one wish it would be: to play baseball, which I got, which was so cool.
My best memory is: that Jaden’s first word was “Bible.”
My birthday dinner this year is: chicken tarragon soup, bread, and root beer floats

I decorated the door to Caleb and Jaden’s room the night before his birthday, so that he would wake up to this in the morning. Typically, Jaden wakes up last, so I was pretty sure Caleb would have a good chance of breaking through his streamers himself.

What I didn’t count on was that Jaden would wake up in the middle of the night, crying from growing pains. And I would have to untape the bottom few streamers and army crawl into the room with a tiny cup of children’s ibuprofen in my hand at 2:30am. Oh, motherhood.

The birthday boy, on the morning of his big day

For breakfast, he enjoyed homemade crepes with Eurocrem (like Nutella) and bananas. Served on the red plate, of course.

And then we had a really fun day with Miss Jana (my dear friend since birth!) and her boys at Frederik Meijer Gardens and the Grand Rapids Public Museum. Good times were had by all.

Can you tell it was a little (lot) chilly that day?

That evening, Aunt Alonna joined us for Caleb’s dinner of choice: tarragon chicken soup and homemade rolls, with root beer floats for dessert. After dinner, he opened his gifts.

He loves his new snorkel set from Grandma and Grandpa Rumley.

I played a little bit of an April Fools’ joke on him by wrapping a box within a box within a box for his gift.

He was happy with the outcome anyway.

We gave him a small set of Legos, a pair of sunglasses, and the paper in the picture above, which told him that he’ll need the sunglasses to play baseball on a team, starting this spring. Playing baseball on a team was the one thing he asked for this year.

Caleb, opening a birthday card

Dear Caleb,

How can it be that you’re 7 years old already? Wasn’t it just yesterday that we moved into the house we built, and I was 30 weeks pregnant with you?

But here we are, and you’re somewhere between a baby and a young man. You are so sweet I want to squeeze you, and sometimes you’re so exasperating I don’t know what to do with you. I grew up with sisters. I am a girl. I will never understand your need to jump, yell, hit, kick, run, and scream. But I am glad to know that God made you that way. And I’m glad that you’re starting baseball soon, so maybe some of that energy will work itself out.

I’m excited to see you play on a team for the first time. You have a God-given athletic ability, and I hope you use it to His glory. I think you’ll love playing baseball on a team.

I’m really proud of you for working so hard to learn verses. This winter, you memorized all of Psalm 27, and then your class recited it in front of the church. That was amazing, and brought tears to my eyes. Never stop memorizing God’s Word, Caleb. You will never regret it.

Daddy and I are so thankful that you are a child of God, and our prayer for you is that you would serve God with your whole heart, just like the Caleb in the Old Testament. We pray that you grow more and more into a man of God with each year that passes.

Happy birthday, Buddy! We love you!

Mommy

I don’t know why I do this to myself. I don’t even really like non-fiction books. Or, I should say, they’re not easy reads for me. But I was hoping that this one would rejuvenate me in my weariness from mothering. I admit I was hoping to read some great encouragement to press on in my tasks, even if they are small and seemingly unnoticed. Because, let’s be honest, my current God-honoring purpose in life is not glamorous. But it IS my purpose.

What I found instead is a woman who seems to think that my true purpose in life must be bigger and louder and more noteworthy than the role I’m currently “settling” for. That maybe I’m not trusting God to use me to my full potential. That the current trials of the day are refining me for something bigger and better.

Here’s a quote from pages 93-94:
“On the other side of this refining time is a fresh perspective and new mercies. Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God; in due time you will be lifted up and honored before a watching world.”

And another, from page 121:
“Daring to dream is no small thing. And it’s not for the faint of heart. But in Christ we are called, appointed, and equipped to live lives bigger than we are…Can you and I win the inner battle that keeps us from living out God’s highest and best purposes for us?”

Susie Osteen, anyone?

What if God really intends for me to live my life in obscurity? What if his big purpose for my life is to do little things, and die never being recognized for them? Does this make us question the goodness of God, or does it mean that we have missed his purpose for us?

Absolutely not!

Here’s a thought for us:
Maybe it’s not all about ME!

If my life purpose is about HIM, then I can happily labor in obscurity my whole life and die knowing that I did what HE asked of me. This is doubtless a much more satisfying way to live than to always be waiting for the bigger thing to come along.

You know what? Maybe I’ll write my own book, reminding moms and janitors and nursing home aids and all of us in “lowly” positions that we can (and should!) find holy satisfaction in the work that HE has set out for us to do!

I’ll let you know when it’s published.

In the author’s defense, the last couple of chapters acknowledge that our callings can have “hidden significance,” as she puts it…But because of the tone of the rest of the book, I can’t say I’d recommend reading it.

Disclaimer: This book was provided free of charge by the publisher. All of the opinions here are my own, and I was not compensated for this review.

Grandma, with my dad

My grandma passed away at the age of 79 on February 13. She had been sick for the better part of two decades.

She and my grandpa were married for 60 years this past August.

Grandma and Grandpa

He sat faithfully by her side, caring for her day and night. Night and day. For two decades. In a world of self-preservation and uncommitment, he is a beautiful picture of faithfulness and sacrifice.

The visitation was in my hometown on a beautiful, sunny Saturday. It was nice to visit with relatives I haven’t seen in a while, and to honor my grandma’s life. The hardest part about it, by far, was watching my grandpa weep over her body. Grieving is hard.

The next day, the funeral was held at the church I grew up in. The church my dad also grew up in. The one that my parents still call home.

It was a beautiful funeral, because the people who spoke did such an amazing job. My Uncle Paul, a distinguished man who has been in front of groups of people often in life (as a principle, superintendent, and now the head of MEMSPA in Lansing), spoke well of the way his mom raised her four boys with a rock-solid faith. He told of the time he tried to sneak in late one night, when he was a senior in high school…

“I recall a time during the late spring of my senior year of high school when I attempted to fly under the radar at 1:30 in the morning. Please note that I had a ridiculous midnight curfew. P.S. mom always said that after midnight absolutely nothing good happens to you unless you are praying or reading your bible in your own home. So that night, that starry warm spring night, I was confident that I could sneak into the house without detection and avoid the wrath of mom and dad.

After a short moment I sucked in enough air to ask, ‘What’s cookin’?’ And she replied in a steady calm voice, ‘I was just catching up on some reading and sitting here praying for your safety. And by the way,’ she went on, ‘I’ll need your car keys. You will be catching the bus to school for the next week.’ She blessed me that night.”

And my grandma’s dear friend, Bonnie, gave a simply breathtaking speech about my grandma that made me so fervently wish that I had known my grandma the way that she did, before her illness. And I am so very thankful that Bonnie shared her memories with us that day. Without those words, I may have never known that my grandma was such a spunky woman, full of life. Almost all of my memories of her are from her years of illness.

Bonnie’s talk was too long to print here, but let me give you a sampling of the woman my grandma was, prior to becoming so ill…

“Nadine was a Godly woman. She taught me that you can pray for somebody before you even know them. That’s what she did for me. She didn’t know me, only knew of me, she didn’t know whether I was a believer or not – I was, but she didn’t know that, she only knew I wasn’t in church – and I guess I had made a few obscure but scary comments that had been reported to her, enough for her to feel a need to pray, long before I’d ever met her. Never hesitate to pray for somebody that you think might be a little off the track…God used her prayers and her invitation to draw me to this church long ago.

She loved peaches, and we would go up north and pick together. She could pick and can more than I ever could. We both canned a lot back then, and she had at least a couple hundred mason jars. Carl would bring them up from the basement and help her can – and they had to keep at it as long as there were empty jars to be filled. It got so that when either of us gave away a few jars to family and friends, we’d say, ‘Oh, just keep the jar. You don’t have to return it.’ That way there’d be a few less jars we had to fill the next season.”

I’m so thankful for the celebration of my grandma’s life that took place that day, with a pastor who challenged the entire congregation to give our lives to the Lord. The best way to honor Grandma’s life, he said, would be to make sure we’re right with God. I do pray that hearts were turned to the Lord that day.

And I’m thankful to know that Grandma is finally living life to the full, worshiping her Savior.

I found this recipe on Pinterest and pinned it quite a long time ago.

Well, I finally had some bananas on my counter that didn’t get eaten in the prime of their lives (which is not usually the case)…You know, the ones where you say, “Goodness, I guess it’s time to make some banana bread!”

Those.

So, I set about to make the new recipe, with some changes of my own. And even the hubster likes it! Though he does love fresh fruits and veggies, I wasn’t sure he’d love “healthified” cookies.

And these, surprisingly, are quite healthy.

Here goes!

Peanut Butter Banana Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

Ingredients:
4 ripe bananas, mashed
2/3 cup peanut butter
1-1/3 cup applesauce
3 cups quick oats
1/2 cup ground flax seed
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup chocolate chips

Directions:
Mix together all ingredients besides the chocolate chips. Blend well. Add the chocolate chips. Drop the mixture by spoonfuls on a lined baking sheet. (I use a silicone mat, but I’m sure parchment paper would work as well.) Use the back of your spoon to flatten the cookies into discs.

Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes or until golden brown.

Store in a sealed container in the refrigerator.

Here’s what they look like as they’re headed into the oven. Squishy!

Admittedly, I was nervous about the consistency of a cookie without flour or eggs. This is new to me! But there really isn’t anything strange about the texture of this cookie. It might be less crunchy, and more spongy, than you’d expect. But I actually found that to be enjoyable!

Let me know if you try this recipe and if you make any changes yourself. Bon appetit!

I’m not ready or willing to give up homeschooling, even though that would give me some much more peaceful hours during the day. I still can’t imagine sending them away. I LOVE what we’re able to do as a homeschooling family: learn together from a God-centered worldview, go at the correct pace for each child in core subjects, spend time together as a family, read together by the fireplace…Not to mention sleeping in and not having the need to rush through breakfast. It’s pretty great.

But I also know that I spent time in tears almost every day last week, feeling like I’m not an adequate parent, let alone teacher. I want (NEED) to get to the heart of my kids’ bickering and other sin issues, and I feel like I can talk with them (one of them in particular) until I have no more words, I can use other Biblical disciplinary measures (ahem, spanking), and still nothing changes. The Holy Spirit has to do the work of softening and changing their hearts, and I’m left to be consistent and wait. That’s hard.

In the meantime, I’m learning about myself. I love people, and I think I have a gift for hospitality. But I also treasure the quiet. I love having a weekend with girlfriends, but it’s not rejuvenating to me. I come home happy and exhausted. I also love being with our four crazy kids, but the chaos is draining to me.

Apparently I’m an introvert.

Knowing that should probably affect the way we operate around here, and I think it’s going to take some tweaking before we have a good solution. But I’m encouraged to have a name for my problem. At least now we can figure out a way to fix it.

Today a favorite mom blogger of mine posted about this very topic (which was obviously quite timely for me). Lora Lynn’s post about being an introverted homeschool mom has some good, practical advice. I’m really thankful for other moms who figure things out faster than I do!

If you have any suggestions for how to be a happy introvert when you’re constantly surrounded by people, leave them in the comments! I’d love to hear them!