The SAHMnambulist

Saying Goodbye to My Dad

2013-04-15T14:00:00.001-04:00

Exactly one month before he passed away, I wrote this post about how I badly wanted my father to be present in my son's life for the long term. And now, Dad's gone. I've written elsewhere a little bit about what Dad meant to me, although if I dedicated the rest of my life to writing nothing else, I would never be able to truly and completely articulate it. And as for how I feel about his

The Many Meanings of No

2013-04-03T20:13:00.000-04:00

"Not no way, not no how!" LO has a new favorite word. That word is "no." I doubt that this is a particularly rare occurrence for a toddler in the grip of his second year, but I am still surprised by my son's use of this word, partially because he is able to imbue a short word with a wide range of meanings. Like the word Smurf or the F word, apparently "no" can mean any number of things (all

My Son, the Bad Influence

2013-03-23T15:12:00.000-04:00

I seem to be raising the kid who is destined to get his friends in trouble. It started last summer. Our across-the-street neighbors who have a little boy just about LO's age were gardening in their front yard. LO and I, who were relaxing on the front porch sans footwear, headed across the street to say hello. LO and their little boy played a little while on the front yard when LO decided to do

My Issue with Play Dates

2013-03-09T12:46:00.001-05:00

I hate the term play date. Hate it. HAAAAAATE it. With the fire and passion of a thousand suns. My issue with this terms stems partially from my Free Range sensibilities. Are our kids are so over-scheduled these days that we need to set up specific dates for them to play, in the same way I have to schedule meetings and time to workout? I know my antipathy over this term also has a

My Dad

2013-03-05T11:37:00.000-05:00

I'm a big believer in self-delusion. As long as the lies you tell yourself don't hurt or affect other people, then why bother dashing cold water on yourself? I've gotten some big tests of my self-delusion over the past few years. When my aunt and cousin died in an unthinkable act of violence, I decided to simply believe what I wanted to believe about what happened. There was no way of

The Douglas Adams Connection

2013-02-19T10:45:00.002-05:00

I find myself the reluctant collector of late-talkers. Knowing that LO is still showing himself disinclined to speak (much), people have been alerting me to any number of late-talkers who have gone on to have brilliant careers, often in the sciences. Some late-talkers you may or may not know: Einstein (which, to be honest, didn't make me feel much better) Benito Mussolini (ditto,

My Stupid Irrational Fear

2013-02-13T10:38:00.000-05:00

Just over a year ago, LO was still sleeping in his crib when he wasn't co-sleeping with us. (Basically, this means he spent a grand total of 17 minutes per night sleeping in his crib, but it was progress). The child woke up in the middle of the night one fateful evening and cried quietly for a moment. This was enough to wake me up, so I was fully awake to hear him clearly call out "Mommy?"

I Think We've Failed At Childproofing

2013-02-11T17:21:00.001-05:00

I found this in the outlet. You may dispose of it.

The Running Tantrum

2013-02-06T16:29:00.002-05:00

LO comes from talented tantrum-throwing stock. At my best (from around age 2 through age 7), I could throw myself on the floor, kick, scream, flail, and wail with the best of them. My tantrum career was tragically cut short when I decided at age 8 that I was too mature for such shenanigans. It's amazing, however, when your offspring can surpass even your greatest talents, which LO has managed

Parenting Fail

2013-01-29T10:03:00.002-05:00

Oh, My! LO's speech therapist comes every Monday for the weekly shenanigans wherein LO says (in his head) "Dance, grownup puppets, dance!" and the speech therapist and I make like lab rats that are slowly learning to run the maze created by the mad scientist who is pretending he can't talk. Also, there are bubbles. Yesterday, after about a half hour of play and impressing the grownups by

Shark Bait

2013-01-17T15:10:00.001-05:00

LO just keeps adding to his vocabulary. Earlier this week, his teacher told me that he spent several minutes carefully studying the fish in the fish tank in their classroom. As he turned away from the fish, he was heard to say "Ooh Ha Ha!" Clearly, we need to introduce some movies other than Pixar:

Okay, Now the Kid's Just Messing With Us

2013-01-11T07:02:00.002-05:00

If she only knew... On Wednesday night, I went to my quilting group to work on one of the 17 quilts I currently owe people for life events that occurred sometime in the distant past. I hadn't been to our monthly Sit & Stitch for a couple of months, so I had not yet updated my quilty friends on how speech therapy has been progressing for LO. One of my fellow quilters is also a speech therapist

You See What Happens When You Find a Stranger in the Alps?!

2013-01-09T16:24:00.000-05:00

(Or, how Thomas the Tank Engine Managed to Piss Me Off at 7:00 am This Morning) This is what happens, Larry! Last night, I read this Cracked article on ways that TV has censored some originally badass movie lines. In particular, John Goodman's line in this scene from The Big Lebowski was altered for television to: You see what happens, Larry? You see what happens when you find a stranger in

Parenting a Zombie Toddler

2013-01-08T11:49:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, LO went to school for the first time in two weeks. I was under the impression that the excitement of school would tucker him out enough that he would take a nice long nap. I was both completely wrong and absolutely right. After attempting for nearly a half hour to get LO down for a nap at 12:30 yesterday, I was forced to raise the white flag, and a triumphant LO marched downstairs

Just Like Your Bubbie Never Made

2012-12-23T14:51:00.001-05:00

I wasn't feeling great this morning, so J sweetly volunteered to make me some matzah ball soup for lunch to help me feel better: If you can't tell what that is in among the matzah balls and carrots, I'll give you a hint: it's bacon. Untold generations of bubbies who are no longer with us are doubtless rolling over in their graves. Granted, it's turkey bacon, but I still think that's good for

A Gift With Self Esteem Problems

2012-12-20T20:08:00.002-05:00

My mom asked J what he wanted for Chanukah. He facetiously answered "an airstream trailer." Never one to back down from a challenge, Mom found a Volkswagen/Airstream salt and pepper shaker: Those who made and packaged this fine gift were either not native speakers of English or they were concerned about the reception of their product, because this is what the packaging looks like: Mom, just

Rationality, Emotion, and Tragedy

2012-12-17T14:40:00.000-05:00

I have striven for the past couple of years to understand what has so drawn me to the study of Behavioral Economics. It's not a natural attraction, if you look at my academic history. I spent my undergraduate years studying creative writing, English, and French literature, and I managed to go four years without ever writing a paper that wasn't based on an interpretation of literature. And yet,

The Cursed Sheets

2012-12-11T16:12:00.003-05:00

These are my favorite sheets: They are Tommy Hilfiger, camouflage patterned sheets, and the irony of every single word of that description delights me. I love knowing that should we do some stealth sleeping in the jungle, our sheets would simply blend into the background. They also happen to have an insanely high thread count, so sliding into my impossible-to-detect-in-jungle-warfare sheets

Toddlers Are Not Known For Their Logical Decisions

2012-12-07T14:28:00.000-05:00

On Monday, I made LO his usual toast with jam for breakfast. I neatly cut it in half and placed the two halves in front of him at the table. What followed was nearly 60 seconds of the child reaching for, and then drawing away from, his delicious breakfast. It took a couple of false starts for me to realize what was happening: You see, LO has gotten to the point of fastidious eating wherein he

The Course of True Potty Training Never Did Run Smooth

2012-12-03T08:00:00.000-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, LO was enjoying his 169,795,347th viewing of the film Cars while I checked Facebook worked on some articles. He came to my chair, indicating his desperate need for the potty in the engaging way he has of pointing at his crotchal region. Obligingly, I led him to the bathroom, helped him to remove various clothing and diaper accoutrements, aided him in sitting on said

No Wonder We're All Sick

2012-11-17T13:56:00.001-05:00

When there is a toddler in the house, one needs not look any farther than said toddler to discover the patient 0 in the house for whatever creeping crud is currently felling the various members of the family. However, it became clear to me today that LO is doing more than just being a little petri dish who hangs out with a lot of other little petri dishes in his attempts to make sure we don't

The Elves Replaced My Baby

2012-11-14T17:20:00.001-05:00

With a big kid. Who's a hipster.

First Steps Evaluation

2012-11-08T10:46:00.004-05:00

I didn't study for this! Tuesday afternoon was our First Steps of Indiana evaluation. I was dissatisfied. It started with the evaluators showing up at 1:10 when our appointment was for 2:00. This meant that I had to wake the young man up from his nap in order to begin the evaluation, which is a great way for everyone to do well in any kind of testing environment. The two evaluators played

A Momentous Occasion

2012-11-05T16:02:00.001-05:00

I am pleased to report that LO successfully used the potty yesterday. Twice. Really, Mom? You're going to blog about this? J excitedly told me about LO's new skill when I called him on my way home from teaching Sunday school at our Synagogue. Apparently the young man made a point of having a seat on his tiny throne yesterday morning, and refused to be budged even when it appeared that no

Missing the Point of Trick-or-Treating

2012-10-31T21:19:00.000-04:00

We had not originally planned to take LO trick-or-treating this evening. J and I are homebodies who appreciate the fact that the neighborhood comes to us at least one night per year, so we're content to sit on the porch and hand out candy while we field comments about the flaming pumpkin in the front yard: What happens when your husband decides that your Jack-o-Lantern would be improved by the