The Sandwich Collective

My Bliptronic 5000, Let Me Introduce You

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 02:56:00 +0000

Hey. Sorry about quitting on the blog thing...school sucks. Anyway, I stumbled upon this video and felt like I needed to share it with all you wonderful people out there. Here you go.

-Atticus

Yikes! Double Late Posts!

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 05:25:00 +0000

Zoinks, Scoob (I'm so so sorry for that...I'm ashamed). Sorry about the late post, but today was a bit hectic and then I had some computer issues at the last minute. The good news is that both of my pirate vessels (my trusty 500 gig WD drive and 16 gig Corsair flash drive) are now both defragmented and ready to chew bubblegum and take names...and they're all out of...name...gum. Go to college if you want to be able to understand these high level metaphors. It's getting Proustian up in this mofo.

Point is, I am so ready for piracy. It's a good thing. Just this weekend I practically cleared out my "Movies to Download" list, and I'll probably start on the anime in the upcoming weeks. Then again, there are plenty of streaming sites. We'll see how that pans out. Anyways, expect a whole lot more pirate movie talk.

LPS of Bored to Death 103 will be up tomorrow, as I just noticed a scene rip of it went up within the last few minutes. God, I love sailing the high seas and flying the pirate flag. Hey, give me my allergy medicine back! Come on guys, it isn't funny! You know, like pirates.

Until then, enjoy some Danny Dutch:

-Dave

I Watched this Movie Today and So Should You

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 02:32:00 +0000

Trailer after the jump:

It had that great indie movie charm (complete with an equally indie movie soundtrack of indie music) that I think Juno and I Love You, Beth Cooper were going for without being overly contrived and borderline moronic. I earned the right to use words like "contrived" to describe movies because I graduated from Movie Review University (class of 1977 woo!).

Seriously, though, check out this movie. It even has a cameo from Jim Gaffigan!

-Dave

Parks and Recreation 203

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 23:29:00 +0000

This week's episode of Parks and Recreation is so far the first to not deal with Leslie's political career or her work with The Pit (DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN). While it was a little bit odd, if wasn't entirely unexpected. How long can we be expected to care about the exploits of local government? THUNDERCATS!

Leslie and Tom are judges of the Miss Pawnee beauty pageant, which should immediately set off some signals in your mind as to what is about to happen. Tom of course finds the most attractive girl in the competition and talks about her the whole time, while Leslie fights for the less-attractive but more talented and intellectual underdog. Oh, and Rachel tries to bribe Leslie with $7 coffee (Big city coffee costs money? Usually I pay for mine with corn husks and spit!)

Meanwhile, Ann and Mark have a very awkward first date after she asks him to come to her house to help fix her shower head. While she's walking around outside, she spots Andy watching her from The Pit and finds out that he has been living there (although he only admits that it's been for a week). Seeing his "office" in that massive pile of dirt was perhaps the single funniest frame of the entire show.

Meanwhile, Dave (Louis C-Kop) makes a return and tries to ask Leslie out on a date. Though she first accepts, then sort of rejects the offer, she finally asks him to go out on a date with her on Friday. Oh my goshness, has she finally moved on from Mark? For the sake of keeping Louis C.K. on cable for as long as possible, let's hope that the writers have decided that she is over Mark.

Oh, and fyi, Madeline Albright is not Leslie's grandmother. Who knew? Not this reporter.

-Dave

A Quick Pictoral Representation of My Emotional Status

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 05:58:00 +0000

-Dave

Something Interesting Almost Happened Today

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 04:41:00 +0000

I thought that I had eaten actual whipped cream (as opposed to the Cool-Whip I was raised on while growing up in South Compton-the worst part of Compton) for about 5 hours today until I shared that with someone only to have my hopes of expanding culinary borders dashed. Turns out I have eaten it before at home as a part of some other food. Technically it's still the first time I've ever eaten whipped cream outside of my house, and that alone is enough reason to celebrate in my mind.

On a note laden with just a little bit less with soul-crushing depression and monotony, I've just got 1 more physics problem and 5 or so Diff EQ problems to get done for Friday and I'm totally done for this week. That is, until I spend my whole weekend studying for the Physics test on Tuesday. I DO TOO HAVE A LIFE! I LIVE IT INSIDE OF MY DORM ROOM WITH MY TEXTBOOK OPEN, THANK YOU VERY MUCH! On second thought, maybe this paragraph is actually the sadder of the two.

Human tragedy much?

Alright, that's enough. In actually interesting news, the physics club here (nerd alert!) has decided to try to build a Tesla Coil. As this video reveals, Tesla Coils are awesome:

Please deposit all blown minds into the bin on your right as you exit this blog.

-Dave

BBT and HIMYM Episode 2: Lovers' Quarrels Galore

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 04:27:00 +0000

This week's How I Met Your Mother was definitely the weaker of the two shows, although I think I might be inherently biased towards The Big Bang Theory because of how big of a loser I is. Lazy pirate summaries after the jump:

This week's episode starts out with Barney taking Marshall to a strip club where Marshall reveals that he can only fantasize about other women after constructing an elaborate story in his mind in which Lily dies but gives him permission to pursue other women (specifically, the delivery girl "from that one time").

Then we are introduced to doppelganger number three: Stripper Lily. There is then a flashback to explain that the other two doppelgangers were Mustache Marshall and Lesbian Robin. Future Ted then tells us that the other two doppelgangers are a story for another time (himself and Barney being the only two at this point without doubles).

When the two tell the rest of the group about Stripper Lily, Lily gets excited at the idea of all the sexual things that her double does, and Robin is clearly mad at Barney for going to a strip club. They head down to the strip club where Lily tries to tell Marshall that it's alright to fantasize about other women, and that he should stop killing her off. Robin gets increasingly annoyed about Barney's continued crass behavior, and it seems like their relationship is going to have some very rocky days ahead.

Meanwhile, Ted is on a blind date with Jen (the brown-haired friend of Sabrina Spellman before Sabrina went to college...you know who I mean, right?), a woman who he'd also gone on a blind date with 7 years ago. They remember this part way through dinner and then decide to spend the rest of their date retracing their steps to give each other pointers on how to improve their dating technique.

Blah blah blah, Ted likes lame jokes and correcting spelling errors, blah blah, Jen talks about cats too much, blah blah, Ted rambles on about true love again. There were quite a few moments during this half of the episode when I wanted to fast-forward.

The episode starts off with the whole gang at the comic book store. Sheldon and Wolowitz get in an argument over Wolverine's bone claws (or lack thereof), and Sheldon essentially says that he can't be wrong. Leonard then talks them about his night with Penny, describing it only as "fine".

Later, when the four guys and Penny are eating their dinner together back at Leonard and Sheldon's, Sheldon reveals that Leonard told the group about the night, and Penny leaves embarrassed. When Leonard follows her to her apartment, she tells him that the night was "okay" (a recurring joke of the episode is Leonard saying "okay dokay", which is hilarious). They decide to get drunk and see if it improves the sex at all.

Meanwhile, hearing a cricket, Sheldon and Wolowitz get into another argument over the species of the cricket. They then each wager a classic comic book, after which Raj points out that there is no way to determine a winner without first catching the animal. This leads them on a series of mini-misadventures in the apartment and hallway, ending with Sheldon temporarily stuck in the elevator shaft.

They take the cricket to a professor of entomology at the university, played in this episode by the excellent Lewis Black. He rules in favor of Wolowitz, after delivering a very angry monologue about the university cutting off his funding and his wife divorcing him (You know how Lewis Black does it. Comedy gold.) and asking a number of very ~~uncomfortable~~
very funny rhetorical questions.

Penny and Leonard end up getting so drunk that they both vomit. The next day, Penny sees Sheldon with his comic book for Wolowitz in the lobby of the building, and talks to him about her relationship with Leonard. He suggests that they simply go back to being friends, and she seems to try to take his advice by telling Leonard that they should just be friends. Then they slam their faces together and make out (I say "slammed" because it looked to me like someone had to have been hurt).

Why can't everybody just love everybody? Oh right, because strippers and vomiting make for much better television. Expect the LPS for Parks and Recreation episode 3 on Friday. Until then, back to my trite complaints about college. Is it trite to use the word "trite"? You know what they say though: when in Rome, trite as the Romans trite.

-Dave

Bored to Death 102: Colonics are Funny

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 03:59:00 +0000

Could you probably make a joke about how "colonics" basically rhymes with ebonics? Yeah, probably. You racist. Let's get to the show before the Klan shows up at your house to recruit you.

Jonathan gets a call to take on his second case from a woman named Jennifer who wants to know if her boyfriend Gary is cheating on her. Jonathan follows him to the store and then to the gym, where he talks to Gary for a bit before Gary gets uncomfortable with how crudely Jonathan talks about women (he said something to the effect of "I can almost see why Muslims insist they be kept separate." Yikes.) and leaves.

Jonathan then follows him to a church and finds out that Gary is friends with Suzanne, Jonathan's ex-girlfriend. He then follows the couple to a restaurant and confronts them when his jealousy gets the best of him. The best line of the show occurs here, when Jonathan calls Gary a well-endowed Metamucil addict (based on the few minutes he followed Gary at the store).

Meanwhile, Jonathan also has obligations to Ray and George. Ray has Jonathan come with him to get his first colonic, which his wife Leah believes will help him get into a better mood. The doctor twice implies that they are lovers, and both of the mildly awkward only-friends-not-lovers-eww moments are pretty dumb. Later, however, when they are trying to decide who would be on top in their hypothetical relationship, the dialogue returns to hilarity.

The sub-plot involving George really should be expressed in as few words as possible, and so here is my impression of Ernest Hemingway (terrible writer) summarizing it: George has herpes. Has Jonathan punch him to hide it. It doesn't work.

Episode 2 of How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory are already finished downloading, so the Lazy Pirate Summary of those will be up tomorrow. Argh! (That's bubonics...yikes? I tried to tie it in to the beginning thing with "colonics" and "ebonics".)

-Dave

Parks and Recreation 202- The Stakeout

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 00:17:00 +0000

Ann starts dating Mark, which prompts Leslie to run through a list of different ways of saying that friends come first. The best one? "Ovaries before brovaries." Leslie starts a community garden, and whenever she asks Tom for the Latin name of the plants, he tells her the names of rappers. Oh yeah, and somebody decided to plant some pot in the garden. What will they do nooooow?

Ron has a bit of a Carl-Winslow-right-before-the-big-dance-contest situation (Did I do that?), and Leslie takes Tom with her to stake out the area to try and catch the 13-year-old kingpin. Who do they see? Mark is on his way to Ann's house! Leslie starts snapping pictures of them together. Methinks she might care more about that relationship than she lets on.

Tom reveals that his birth name wasn't Tom, and he changed it before Barack Obama was elected because he thought "brown guys with funny-sounding Muslim names don't get very far in politics". Wait a minute, isn't the Muslim population in India a huge minority? In fact, isn't that the entire reason that Pakistan became a country? Once again, historical accuracy falls victim to the need for topical humor. Muslims.

Tom and Leslie find out that Andy has been living in the pit, but he wasn't the one who planted the pot there. April goes back to the office, thinking that there must be something wrong with Ron (he has a hernia). She then delivers one of the most hilariously generic punchlines of all time, "I know. It's possible to have two things." You had to be there.

As Leslie and Andy go to get Andy something to eat, Tom locks himself out of the stakeout van just as Mark and Ann arrive back from their date. Unaware of each other, Ann assumes he's trying to break into the van and so Mark calls the police. Meanwhile, Leslie accidentally reveals to Andy that Mark and Ann are dating, and Andy faints. (What is this, the Victorian Era again?)

Guess who the cop is that responds to the call? LOUIS FREAKING C K! He almost immediately drops a hilarious "There's (sic) no stereotypes about Indians sitting in vehicles." Some generic back-and-forth cop vs. smug almost-criminal banter ensues, and Louis CK arrests Tom.

Leslie finally gets back to the van, and stands there wide-eyed in shock as Ann and Mark talk about how the police dragged someone away who tried to break into the van. Good old classic wrong place/wrong time schtick. It's basically Shakespeare Part 2.

Ann, Mark, and Leslie all head down to the police station to try and sort out the whole mess.

^Leslie thoroughly enjoys the prompt, appropriate handling of the situation by her local police heroes.^

As Leslie explains that she could have THE Ron Swanson down there kicking down the doors, the scene flashes over to Ron, sitting in his dark office. April is probably the third funniest person on the show. First is Tom, then Leslie, but then April with her dry sarcasm. (Just as optimistic and light-hearted as I used to be, but I'm getting nostalgic now.)

Louis C-Kop (Heyo? Heyo) lists all the stuff that he found in the van, and says that it seems like he really might be a pedo (I think the candy necklaces are what pushed it over the edge from possible creep to possible pedo). Finally April comes back to get Ron, after waiting for her dad to fall asleep to steal his keys (You kids today and your grand theft auto! AND I DON'T MEAN THE VIDEOGAME GIVE ME FIVE).

^Ron MF'ing Swanson: born ready (to swear in front of teenagers).^

As Mark kisses Ann good night on the cheek, the camera pans over to Andy angrily staring out from the pit. (That sentence could not be more dramatic and hilarious at the same time if I tried.) Tom finally gets out of jail, and he and Leslie get back to the van, where Leslie keeps talking about the importance of Mark and Ann being in their own homes. Tom tells Leslie can do better, but then immediately follows with "I didn't mean me. Keep it in your pants, Knope!"

After all the fuss over the marijuana in the public garden, it ends up that the plants were really juts carrots. Louis C-Kop ends the episode by awkwardly talking about how he was attracted to Leslie "in a sexual manner that was...appropriate."

My god, Aziz Ansari is just on fire this season. Every time he comes on screen (heyo? eww), there are laughs aplenty to be harvested. You know, like how laughs get harvested? Shutup.

-Dave

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A Non-Denominational Christmas-Like-Holiday Miracle

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 01:16:00 +0000

I finished everything that I needed to do tonight and will be going to bed after watching some Home Movies and/or random anime. YES! To put that in perspective, my going to sleep at 10 tonight will be the first time since the semester started that I will have been asleep before midnight.

First round of tests coming up in the next 2 weeks, hurrah! I'll be sure to give you the scoop on how I do. Hint:

That's actually how tests are graded, too. There are no Scan-tron tests for large classes. There is no spoon, Neo. These are not the droids you're looking for.

Good night.

Too...Tired.......Must.....Summarize....Television...

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 04:52:00 +0000

Scared to Death rules, watch it. Better commentary next week I promise. Oh, and I have to defer to the Wikipedia summary of the Parks & Recreation premiere because I'm a moron and watched it without taking notes and then waited too long to try and summarize it. Something about gay penguins, Christian/parent advocacy groups ruin everything, and Aziz Ansari continues nailing his part. Awesome stuff.

Anyhow, my raw notes from Bored to Death (which you will not feel after watching this show...@Dave: ugh, your jokes make me hurt) are after the jump:

before the episode even starts- ted danson is still alive?
"what are you, another self-hating new york jew?" "mmm hmm, yes i am"
jonathan(jason schwartzmann)'s girlfriend breaks up with him and moves out of their apartment b/c he drinks and smokes pot too much
a neighbor says he should try using craigslist...does she want him to get raped to death?
he re-discovers a favorite detective novel and decides to become an unlicensed private detective
ray (zach galifianakis) calls, and he makes jonathan feel worse about the break-up
everybody does not know what falconhood is
jonathan says he is struggling to write a second novel
ray is a comic book artist, and his wife wants him to take a job teaching art at an elementary school
jonathan gets his first case from a woman who thinks her sister lisa has gone missing, and he goes to meet her
he decides to try and find lisa's boyfriend vincent
he then goes to a swanky (hate that word, but it applies here) art gallery party to work for george (ted danson)...gathering quotes or something?
they head to the bathroom to smoke pot together, and george reveals that he uses tons of viagra and smokes pot out of boredom (jonathan seems to act like a therapist to him)
he then heads to the bar vincent works at, where he bribes the bar tender into telling him where vincent is (how noir!)
he checks into vincent's hotel with a fake name (how noir! again!), but falls asleep in the lobby and then finds out the room vince is in
he bursts into vincent's room to find vincent wielding a lighter without pants and lisa tied to the bed
it is revealed that lisa tried to break up with vincent, so he's holding her hostage to give her stockholm syndrome so she stays with him (perfect plan, bro)
jonathan gives him pot to keep him from smoking meth, and then the police knock on the door
jonathan gets taken to the police station and warned to not impersonate an investigator again
ray tells a story about how his wife leah will no longer have sex with him, and he starts crying when she mocks his comics
episode ends after jonathan gets an e-mail from someone saying only that they need help
post-episode reflection: do people in nyc ever just talk to each other, or do they only ever have meetings at coffee shops? i think there were 3 or 4 different coffee shop meetings just in this episode

Truly, this is writing for the ages.

-Dave

Lazy Pirate Summary: BBT and HIMYM Season Premieres

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 04:41:00 +0000

episode starts explaining barney and robin's apparent friends-with-benefits relationship
amusing anecdote involving a whip and a fedora
they pretend to leave to go on separate dates, but are discovered making out in ted's apartment
whenever they try to decide how they feel about each other, they end up having sex
ted's first day as a professor at columbia
"you're not happy, you just think you're happy because you feel happy"
barney gets jealous when robin's friend brad invites her to a hockey game
brad tells robin to have the talk
marshall tells barney to have the talk
ted says barney violated his own rules to avoid making someone their g/f, so robin is already his g/f
barney interrupts robin and brad's kiss by punching brad and then recoiling in pain
"that's my thing, i'm always punching guys...girls...i'll punch a baby, i don't care"
ted forgets how to spell professor
lilly and marshal lock robin and barney in a room in ted's apartment to make them have the talk
ted finds out he is in the wrong room
"t dog, you're in the wrong room, bro"
marshall raises the stakes by blowing the scent of bacon into the room
to get out of the room, barney and robin decide to lie about being b/f and g/f
episode ends with marshall having his own tuxedo night

everyone makes it back safely from the arctic with crazy hair and beards (sheldon's hair is normal, and he just has a goatee)
penny kisses leonard when she sees him, then drags him into her apartment
sheldon is thrilled that he detected magnetic monopoles, but wolowitz admits it was b/c of an electric can-opener
"damn his vulcan hearing" x 2
sheldon sent a bragging e-mail to everyone at the university showing that he does, in fact, believe it's a big deal
"really? did you have the nobel prize in waitressing stolen from you?"
"while i do not currently have a scathing retort, you check your e-mail periodically for a doozie"
leonard gives penny a preserved snowflake, and their makeout gets interrupted by the news that sheldon ran away home to texas
sheldon's mother is super-religious and racist...shocking for someone from texas
but she does get wolowitz to take off his silly hat and stop faking the accent
sheldon leaves abruptly after his mother reveals that she is a creationist
leonard and penny end up having sex, then try to figure out how to make it not "weird", but then decide it's weird
...where have we heard this before (barney and robin, much?)

It looks like indecisive hooking up is the new go-to plot device. Whoops, I don't know how I feel about you, but let's not let things get complicated!

Parks & Recreation and Bored to Death season premieres will be up tomorrow.

-Dave

So Many Premieres!

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 03:43:00 +0000

Here are the shows I'll be following online this season, all of which I downloaded (or started downloading) today:
How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
The Big Bang Theory (CBS)
Bored to Death (HBO)
Parks and Recreation (NBC)

Hopefully I'll be able to keep up with all the new episodes of these shows and give a quick overview and some commentary the day of their respective scene releases...or at least within a day or two.

Yes they're all comedies, and yes I understand that the vast majority of shows on television are seppukin-inducingly bad, but I think that these shows have established themselves as being interesting enough to follow for the time being. Plus, I write for this blog and you don't. Go cry to your Twitter feed about it.

Here's to you, television, you vile monster! These interwebs be thy death rattle!

-Dave

Proof of How Active my Life Is

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 04:43:00 +0000

Two things occupied my weekend for no apparent reason (besides homework and videogames- those two things are given): reading about the show Roseanne and surfing this website.

Now while these two things may seem totally unconnected, let me explain. I was reading about the show Roseanne because I remembered a conversation I had with my mom about how she was a very controversial comedian, and I asked why. Apparently her "shocking" exploit was singing the national anthem poorly. Here's the video:

OH MAN, YOU GUYS! SO TOTALLY CONTROVERSIAL! I guess in the days before the true depths of human infamy were known via the internet, this would've been somewhat shocking. You know, safe '90s shocking. 9/11 changed everything, even our perception of Roseanne Barr's singing.

Anyways, I had said that the show wasn't very controversial. Then I realized that I've only ever seen a few episodes of it, and that was during the '90s when I was a kid (as opposed to my current man-child status, thank you very much).

That leads me to the Wikipedia article about the show. Besides being a testament to the ability of people to go way overboard with pop culture (even old pop culture), reading certain things were just sad. And then I read about the last episode. Now, for a little background here, I have a hobby of looking up information about television shows when they cross my mind (before Roseanne, the most recent recipient of my attention was The Angry Beavers, whose last episode wasn't actually broadcast due to it mocking Nickelodeon).

Holy crap. If you didn't see the last episode, or don't know what happened in it, DO NOT WATCH IT BEFORE YOU WATCH THE REST OF THE SERIES. Some shocking truths (they were shocking to me, and I only knew about the show through the article) are revealed that will alter the way you watch the older episodes all the way back to part way through season 3.

This led me to start thinking about other sitcom's I like, so then I thought about Scrubs, and then my thoughts immediately moved to the janitor. I was wondering if Wikipedia knew his name, but was disappointed that even the article said there was ambiguity.

I then started reading about Keith, played by Travis Schuldt. This led me to the second website. I don't know who its target audience was, but it appeared to be just a collection of men who were wet. It's kind of like how Todd Barry didn't believe that the Container Store only sold containers before he walked around it for a few hours. After looking around the site for a while, however, I came to the conclusion that it really is just a collection of pictures of wet men. This is strangely off-putting. Not in a sexual way, but the idea of it makes me slightly uneasy.

My goodness this was a long post, and so I leave you with just the creepy picture of Travis Schuldt with which I was originally greeted upon entering the site from my Google Image Search for him:

-Dave

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Imma Let You Finish

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 03:26:00 +0000

But this is one of the best memes of all time.

-Dave

Got Done Everything I needed to Do Today Before Midnight

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 03:50:00 +0000

Time for some sleep!

-Dave

The End of an Era (Not a Post About Patrick Swayze)

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 04:51:00 +0000

So, as you likely did not hear, The Steal is breaking up. Yes, I fired up my Google Reader today (it's analog and runs on gas- hence "firing it up") to find a report from PunkNews that the band will be playing their final show this Friday.

I salute this band, and I mean that totally without sarcasm. They were a great band, and I'll be listening to their music for years to come. Unless the sweet release of death comes sooner (nailed that optimistic remark!). With that said, I leave you tonight with a live video of them after the jump.

Good night, sweet princes.

-Dave

Speaking of Tim and Eric...

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 03:10:00 +0000

Tim Heidecker, half of our favorite comedy duo here, directed and starred in a music video for a band called Clues. The music is pretty boring and generic indie (bring on the hate mail!), but the video is absolutely hilarious when you consider the juxtaposition of the totally serious music with the on-screen actions.

Whoops, switched over to The Film Critic Collective there for a minute. Now I'm back. The video is after the jump.

I expect Kanye will ruin someone else's award acceptance speech in order to mention how incredible music video is (one of the best videos of all time, I believe- references ftw) within the next few hours.

-Dave

sigh Fine, I Guess We'll Talk about Kanye

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 04:48:00 +0000

If you have somehow managed to not see the video yet, you can check it out over at MTV.

Kanye West: what is he famous for, again? The last thing I heard about him (when I accidentally poked my head out of the dirt) was when he said the George Bush didn't care about black people. Anyways, I salute his attempts to derive lulz from one of the most needlessly overhyped self-masturbatory ad-festivals still alive on television today. Seriously, VMAs? In 2009 we're still doing those?

Also, I love the last 30 seconds of video. Everyone is standing awkwardly looking at Kanye West, fidgeting, or nervously laughing. Beyonce (Who is she? Has she put out anything I can listen to on the gramophone next to my bowl of Werther's Originals?) seems at least mildly amused, but again mostly awkward. To be honest, it looks like something that our beloved Tim and Eric would write: a bunch of celebrities in a room together arguing over awards that ceased to be meaningful sometime in the late 1990s.

Speaking of Tim and Eric, why has nobody announced when season 5 will start yet? AND WHEN WILL OUR DR. STEVE BRULE SPIN-OFF ARRIVE?

Let's not put evidence that Kanye West ever existed in a time capsule for future generations to enjoy. Let's just bury him in a field where he can complain about which rocks deserved the VMA for Best Rock Video. Also, let's bury my pun-making machine with him.

-Dave

This is What my Time Looks Like

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 03:02:00 +0000

Yes, I did download it. No, it's not good enough to buy. That being said, it is a mediocre dungeon crawler with enough depth to keep me occupied for a couple of hours when I have nothing else to be doing. I just started it yesterday, hence the missing post, but things will be getting totally back on schedule starting this week.

It seems like I just absolutely cannot shake off my summer time management habits. Hopefully a series of mildy-amusing-but-mostly-depressing-in-retrospect forced behavioral changes will help me get on a roll again here. Oh yeah, and a quick summary of my classes:

Multivariable Calc.- Take everything from Calc. 2 and add z to it. Ta da. Sick of it already.

Intro to Diff EQ- No geometry! Yes! And the strategies needed to solve some of the equations are pretty interesting. Boo to unnecessarily-difficult-to-remember integrals (I'm looking at you, arctan(x)). Also boo to the problems that take me 10 minutes to write out. Hopefully the tests are short.

Comp. Sci.- This is my joke of a class for the semester. I really should've taken it last year.

Physics- This has gone back and forth between being nightmarishly tedious and somewhat easy since I took the Honors Physics classes last year, leaning more towards the side of nightmarishness. Also, I spent about 45 minutes unsuccessfully trying to substitute some equations into each other to find a velocity-not cool.

-Dave

You Might as Well Jump! (into some Acid)

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 02:41:00 +0000

That's right, boys and girls, Blogger announced today that they're finally implementing the "Jump" feature that users of WordPress have been enjoying for some time now. The timing could not be better for me, as I just read about this today on a Math forum. After the jump is a humongous integral solution that would otherwise clog up front page and cause it to load a lot slower. ENJOY MY JUMPING!

-Dave

Sometimes My Calc. Professor Plays Baseball

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 00:42:00 +0000

I guess he likes baseball a lot, because I couldn't help but notice that he was wearing a 3/4 sleeve shirt in class today. Now, a couple of things need to be established at this point:

1. I am not a fashion "expert" (whatever that is).
2. I do not myself dress fashionably (except in the sense that my clothing consists almost exclusively of t-shirts and jeans, which is relatively normal).
3. Hopefully this will be the last time that I ever write about a fashion faux-pas.

Those three things being said, I will continue with my original train of thought (ALL ABOARD!) (More 18th century jokes to come- how about that Charles Darwin fella?). What was he thinking when he put those on? He is a math professor at a college, not the second string pitcher for the Yankees (the only baseball team that I could think of quickly).

In math terms:

-Dave

The Guild: Covering up My Incompetence

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 04:40:00 +0000

I really have no idea why I am having such a difficult time getting back into the habit of updating this here blog. Here's the new episode of The Guild:

&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br /&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt; &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;a href="http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-US&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;vid=bdab0fe5-ecc7-4f5e-a946-feefa45d531b" target="_new" title="Season 3 - Episode 2: Anarchy!"&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;Video: Season 3 - Episode 2: Anarchy!&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/a&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;

"Meth addict! Crack is for losers."

-Dave

More Lull

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 03:34:00 +0000

Actually, today was overall pretty cool. I just kind of hung around, listened to some of my favorite music, got caught up on some homework, watched some funny videos, read a bunch, and looked at some basses online. Now I'm gonna watch a cam of Extract and get a nice long sleep. I'm thinking midnight to 1, if I'm lucky.

Let's hope tomorrow is even better. Or, if it's not, then we'll return to the typical posts filled with bitterness and shattered dreams. You know, typical college stuff.

-Dave

Long Weekend Lull

noreply@blogger.com (The Sandwich Collective) — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 03:52:00 +0000

A great lull, and yet no lulz to be had(I'm working on my doctoral thesis for Punology while doing my Physics B.S.). Today I woke up late, felt sick, ate some awesome tortellini soup, and then did some Diff. EQ homework. Big whoop. For the last 3 hours I've been watching Kenny vs. Spenny and loving it. That Kenny is such a trickster! And that Spenny is such a gullible borderline schizo!

Anyways, apparently the new Black Dahlia album leaked. I loved Unhallowed so much that I actually thought about downloading the leak to see if they stopped sucking since Miasma, and then this showed up:

Oh my god, was that bad or what? It's like The Big Lebowski, except without the interesting, thoughtful, hilarious, or confusing parts. Do you guys get the premise? OMG, like bowling is so totally not a part of popular culture, and yet this crazy bunch of bros went all out with team outfits and what not. How eccentric! They're doing something so far outside the scope of cultural norms that it's like they're doing it...oh no. They're doing it ironically. The Black Dahlia Murder are a bunch of hipsters.

I'm gonna have to turn my back on you, BDM.

The Sandwich Collective

My Bliptronic 5000, Let Me Introduce You

Yikes! Double Late Posts!

I Watched this Movie Today and So Should You

Parks and Recreation 203

A Quick Pictoral Representation of My Emotional Status

Something Interesting Almost Happened Today

BBT and HIMYM Episode 2: Lovers' Quarrels Galore

Bored to Death 102: Colonics are Funny

Parks and Recreation 202- The Stakeout

A Non-Denominational Christmas-Like-Holiday Miracle

Too...Tired.......Must.....Summarize....Television...

Lazy Pirate Summary: BBT and HIMYM Season Premieres

So Many Premieres!

Proof of How Active my Life Is

Imma Let You Finish

Got Done Everything I needed to Do Today Before Midnight

The End of an Era (Not a Post About Patrick Swayze)

Speaking of Tim and Eric...

*sigh* Fine, I Guess We'll Talk about Kanye

This is What my Time Looks Like

You Might as Well Jump! (into some Acid)

Sometimes My Calc. Professor Plays Baseball

The Guild: Covering up My Incompetence

More Lull

Long Weekend Lull

sigh Fine, I Guess We'll Talk about Kanye