the secret life of viv

taco tuesday

2012-01-03T19:00:00.000-08:00

I struggle with sitting down for dinner with my kids each day. traditionally it has been a household ritual for most that you would all sit around the table to catch up on the daily events and just 'be' a family. and we have been no different with the exception that my family is anything but traditional. these kids, especially, noodle, scares me each time we sit to dine at any table. this past thanksgiving, conversation somehow revolved around cremation. this wasn't started by noodle, but boo! why? we'll never know. but it blew up from there. so there we were enjoying our family time, or at the least attempting to, we went from cremation to diamonds to noodle suddenly getting incredibly enthusiastic; his eyes wild as he bounced in his seat and slaps the table with his open palms as he gasps. then just as excited as his body language was he says, "I know! I want to be turned into an ACTION FIGURE!" to which his father shoots his sparkling apple cider from his nose and then chokes as he begins to double over in laughter. across the table is nan who's eyes grow in shock, then she looks to me but I'm already down for the count WISHING I'd have had a video recorder running to capture this moment. noodle went on to say that we should prop his action figure up on the toilet but to be sure that the eyes look real and scary so that when visitor went to the bathroom they'd get the 'crap' scared outta them.

yes, THIS is what most dinners become on any given day of the week. but because I'm too young for adult diapers and these kids often make me laugh so hard I piss my pants, I try to stick to the one day of the week where we can get out & in public where conversations can still run away [and they do] we, they, might behave a little better. its doubtful but worth the try AND worth the time. these kids are the best.

for the past 5 months we have walked to our local taco joint for taco tuesday. but sometimes it isn't even about that taco or the tuesday, its family day. its the day we look forward to each week for a few reasons, we love mexican food [duh], we enjoy one another's company even when boo is in a funk, and we're funny. yes, people, WE are funny! so, I will start by creating a weekly post about "taco tuesday" although it may not actually have anything to do with tacos. maybe we'll mix it up and have a sushi saturday? or pho monday? either way, we'll do it and if its ever doable, we'll record the funny.

I hope that you all make the most out of your family time whether it be low key game night, movie night, taco tuesday or maybe miniature golf night, roller skating, cycling etc. just DO IT! make time, spend time and enjoy!

“the best inheritance a parent can give to his children is a few minutes of their time each day.” | m. grundler

LUV U C U | Viv

off and running

2012-01-02T17:20:00.000-08:00

just another day in the neighborhood. it was to begin with breakfast with my patty cakes at my favorite pho cafe, but it ended up being n.v. her first time. she was a lotus virgin [so to speak].

n.v. thinks I may need an intervention. its possible that I might need rehab, but I won't go willingly.

on my list of addictions, lets add ocean. I'm a lover of everything ocean/shore/beach. any opportunity given to dine, walk, shop, photograph or just BE there, my excitement level rises. today, we chose newport because of its close proximity of home. I've mentioned a million times in past posts that the beach has a played a major role in my youth and was a consistent pass time in my years growing up into my teen years and on. the only time in my life was I not close to the beach was when I lived in washington state. the beach was quite the drive and what the people in the area I lived in called beach, really wasn't and I only visited once. the actually beach we took the trek out to also only once and it was cold and didn't offer any of the seaside activities that I have grown used to.

newport is full of things to do, but n.v. and I chose photography and a stroll on the boardwalk. perfect choice on such a beautifully clear day.

ringing in the new year

2012-01-01T09:00:00.000-08:00

just a quick pictorial view on how the eve before sha-bang was spent

Luv U C U!

“an optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. a pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” | bill vaughn

looking back at 2011

2011-12-31T00:00:00.000-08:00

what a crazy year! but then I suppose I could say the same for almost every year leading up to 2012. Back in 2009, I recall wishing for it to end just so we could get on with 2010. my anticipation for 2010 was of positive change and wishes for prosperity. I ended up leaving lbc to live in Irvine with the mum who really needed me. and after more than 2 years of resume’ submission in search of a j-o-b, I was finally blessed with one that couldn’t have been a better fit. the only down-side, which I suspected after being hired, was the demographics. Instinctively, I knew that, if for any reason, should the fundip and I ever end, I’d be subjected to working on the same corner as him. but, as I have been paying attention my whole life, all things happen for a reason, and in their time. I am to simply go with the flow. so far, so GREAT!

so, as I suspected, the fundip monday fundays ended with a big bang and he turned out to be not such a great guy. Is that slander? nah! I think it’s just good honest, in your face, DEAL WITH IT kind of information. the job is still fabulous! let’s begin in January because there’s no need to pretend the year never existed. It did. and because it did, I grew and changed. I updated a few lists of mine and have a whole new outlook on things. wants. needs.

lola celebrated ‘40’ this year. valentine’s day meant more to me than it did him. paco’s play house was officially opened and dubbed ‘the inspiration room’. and while this entire major shift was going on with lola’s new house, the inspiration room thumping, relationships ending, friends were experiencing a shift that would be the most life changing of all. {{LIVE}} I celebrated another year of life [yay]. and moved AGAIN! Yep, again. that, I believe, makes twenty-four. two trips to corvallis and planning on many more in my future! we had the vampire weekend, we started the daily FIVE for gratitude, turkey day was a hoot with conversations about cremation and taxidermy and my oldest sharing his idea of being turned into an action figure. nice! and we topped the season off with a hallmark holiday. tis the season of giving and I was so very pleased to see so many who chose to give of their time rather than silly gifts. bless you all!

to sum up the year, I can’t choose just one word or even one emotion. it was the worst roller coaster ride, I believe, I’ve ever been on. it was hopelessly tragic, hurtful, and emotionally exhausting but the upside was that I was surrounded by all the right people who connected me with new people. I went from sobbing my tears and snot on the bathroom floor to choosing my friends and family as my means of entertainment. I allowed the beginning to begin [so to speak].

for a period there, even while I sobbed, I was approached by people who reminded me that my light was bright. I should never allow the sadness or insecurities of others to extinguish all that brews within me. [this little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine]

oregon was a major turning point. I couldn’t have imagined that this trip would unleash so much from inside of me. the packing, the waiting at LAX – tears. the flight. the music – tears. the layover in vegas – tears. seeing her face just when I wanted to break down. my legs, spirit, mind – broken. but for her, my patty, I smiled. I smiled for as long as I could until we walked into her room and the perfume bottle from my past revealed a name which I couldn’t erase and then – tears.

back home, more tears. I looked terrible, I felt terrible. but the people who would reveal themselves – wow! such a surreal moment to have several people; some I’ve known my entire life, others I’ve known for a few years and then some I only met this year, brought me to the greatest of tears with the kindest of words. as arrogant as it might sound to those who have never heard such words or are ‘viv haters’ [cause we all have haters in our lives], it was the most uplifting to have these people tell me of the joy I have brought to their lives each morning with my posts, music and updates. to have people say to me “your light shines bright” – wow! humbling!

as the days passed, my heart grew bigger and stronger. the paths we travel, the challenges we break, they only build us up IF allowed. and there were people, sad, pathetic people whom I have nothing but love for, as they lied, cheated and tried manipulating. then there were the ones who still are having trouble wrapping their head around “viv”, who she is, what she’s doing and why. not many, only a few. but even the greatest of leaders couldn’t reach everyone. and so, I accept that they aren’t for me to lead. and by lead, I mean by example.

big love & shout outs to all of the following people who gave so much of their love and continued support throughout 2011:

mum, dad, mom, yosh, sis nikki, the kids, the ex-jsunday, stella, kir, lola, paco, ava, the guru, anton, blue caterpillar, mr. barry, jennifer bell, d*fox, fred, lisa & cult jam, jenn goat, the benevenia’s, lamb chop & patty cakes, cynthia h designs, micha von doring, jeni & zoey, russy & izzy, all of my readers, my facebook fanpage followers, my loyal twitter followers…..and to anyone I may have forgotten! From the depths of my heart, I wish you all peace & love in the coming year.

the journey

2011-12-30T10:50:00.000-08:00

can we skip the next 2 days and just get on with it? I am so excited to get 2012 started. a renewed and better year with so many adventures just waiting at the gate for the gun to go off. there are so many exciting plans that have been stirring that I've kept under wraps for awhile. as I see it, MAJOR CHANGE!

everyday offers a new begging, a fresh start, a way of letting go of yesterday's dirt even if it wasn't so dirty. in fact, my yesterday's for the past few months have been marvi! I'm near certain there were struggles, in fact, I know there were. I can look back even to yesterday and see a few hurtles, but that isn't what I revel in. I revel in the fact that because I have learned to take each day in stride, each step becomes easier as I make that climb to my destination. but then we all know it isn't the destination that brings such joy and growth, but the journey!

on december 26th I took a trek to my favorite coffee spot in long beach, viento y agua and ordered my usual killa tomato on a sun dried tomato bagel with tofuti and my cafe con leche with soy. the music was, as always, perfect! lola and I sat in our favorite corner by the window and were pleasantly surprised to see my favorite patron, bob sinclair. he sings the 'cafe con leche' song and I am PUSHING like crazy to get him to record this little ditty so we can share it here. [bob, you are an amazing person and I am one lucky lady to have been blessed by your presence]

cafe con love!

I THINK I have bob convinced [fingers crossed]

lola & I took a walk through the neighborhood towards a friend's new home. 'congratulations to sara and eric' on their new home!!! while enjoying the perfect day ofter weather, my lil roxy requests a visit to the beach. how do I deny the pleasure on such a gorgeous day? so, after a quick gift exchange with my ava [thank you for the clever gift. I now have the perfect picnic basket for the beach], I headed home to grab up the child, change the shoes and take the camera out.

after a random and quick convo with digum, we decided we'd visit the tide pools at corona del mar off poppy [my favorite street]. I'll allow the photos to speak for t hemselves, but begin with this:

as a child, and even in my twenties, I had the desire to live in this hood off poppy. best street is narcisuss; corner house, white! ocean view, the sound of waves putting me to sleep each night. the grassy area across the street would be my playground. we'd call it 'inspiration knoll'.

"we are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch - we are going back from whence we came." | JFK

“let your mind start a journey thru a strange new world. leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. let your soul take you where you long to be...close your eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you'll live as you've never lived before.” | erich fromm

day 364

2011-12-30T07:40:00.000-08:00

Day 364 - Holy canoli! What a year its been! No seriously! So many universal shifts! The downs were just there to keep us grounded [so to speak] so that when the next climb came about & we reached the top....WOW! You could appreciate it THAT much more! And all I have is grand appreciation and love and GRATITUDE for every loop, twist, turn, dip, climb and rise to the TOP!
I am ever so grateful to ...the heavens for the alignment with Miss Kir! From the moment we met it was kismet. Seriously! Instantaneous. There was this spark that lit up the space between us even as I was at the bottom of a hill about to make my climb, I was very aware of some super duper love.
I am uber grateful to my pallete for loving the taste of some yum-mee Pho! I have had some pretty spectacular bowls of Pho, but the experience at Cafe Lotus in Newport Beach takes on a whole new meaning which leads me o being grateful to Thuy! She, from the very moment you meet her, is L O V E! Its like that awesome aunt who always had some good eats in the kitchen waiting to warm your tummy. And the staff - my family too! Just a wonderful place to dine so DOIT!
And I am grateful for my pretty little gift - the bag - which myself and Kir left with last night. Such a sweet gesture.
And to you, Gary! We don't know where you came from but wow! Looking forward to more chats soon. See you at SAAW!

cafe lotus

2011-12-28T22:38:00.000-08:00

when I moved for the umpteenth time, it was immediately important that we familiarize ourselves with all of our local restaurants and community boutiques. roman's for taco tuesday, lu lu and the hidden jewel for cute fashionable styles, the nursery behind lu lu's, and for some super good pho bo, cafe lotus.

its off old newport road across from hoag hospital. and rather than give up the goods on how spectacular this place really is, we'll just say that this is a [spoiler alert]. thuy, the owner, IS without a doubt, the BEST restaurant owner I have ever met. and if you follow my yelp you know I get out often. pre-yelp days, I was even eating then. I promise you, the moment you are greeted by thuy, you'll feel at home. cafe lotus is HOME.

I met my "my little pony", kir, for dinner this week. where else? cafe lotus with thuy! lovely kir brought me three beautiful, fresh cut roses. reason? she said because she was late. love that! and then she took the paper wrapper from her straw and MADE a paper rose for thuy. of course, she ended up giving it to this very handsome gentleman, gary, who sat beside us. I wonder if he still has his rose? I certainly shall hang onto mine for as long as is possible. very creative, kir! you are a force!

now, aside from the incredible food prepared at cafe lotus and the best service from people who make you feel like family, the energy that fills this space is of the best kind! we laughed, shared and caught up. we chatted it up with thuy about her gluten free buckwheat noodles, slurped our pho bo minus the bo. I enjoyed my hot cafe sua do and pork spring rolls. [close your eyes just there if you're a vegetarian]. but KNOW that if you are a vegetarian and you love vietnamese fare, this is the place to go. I promise you will not be disappointed.

I promise to spoil you after the first of the year with a full write up to show you WHY you need to visit cafe lotus! I should add that I went two days in a row!! yep, its THAT good. swear! [going again on monday!]

love U C U!

corvallis family pt III

2011-12-09T07:55:00.001-08:00

day one was obviously one for the records. I'm still laughing at jack who've dubbed jackie bobby. in fact, that's how he's listed in my cell. but for a few hours, there, I couldn't stop calling him "frank" as in stallone!

so, the next morning, friday, we were up and at em'. and by we, I mean myself and patty. we rolled out of bed around 530/6 am. and were planning the morning, breakfast, outfits. we had to look cute while eating the would be untoasted bread we'd get from the nameless diner unworthy of mention. but I'm getting ahead of myself.

patty and I are in her closet going through her sweats and handling hair and face. and from the other side of the door we can hear jackie bobby milling around and mumbling. patty cracks me up. she is SCARED on this side of the door; sweet voice, she says, "jack?!" and there was more banter THROUGH the door because she was NOT unlocking the door until she thought it was safe. jack, who is such a sweet heart, was more concerned about his ear. makes me sad when I think of the intended innocence when pranking him. but when he told us, we STILL didn’t really believe him.

we wore sweats [cyute juicy sweats], scarves, and big poofy winter coats as we made our way out to catch a bite to eat. not like seafood, but just breakfast at a local dive close to jimmy’s shop. every hillbilly in town was there to enjoy breakfast so I thought nothing of the fact that this place might just suck. inside were old, worn, brown vinyl booths with linoleum floors dating back to the 70’s. the wall art was reminiscent of an old horror movie like “the hills have eyes”. It was that outdated. the waitress, bless her heart, was terrible. she took our order and returned several times to fill our cups with java but it took forever to receive the simple meals we’d ordered. the pancakes were like flimsy, rubber frisbees. the coffee was half decent. but the worst part was having ordered eggs over-medium, receiveing eggs slightly runny and longing for lightly toasted sough dough bread to dip in the yoke that never came. it seems their toaster either burned or didn’t toast it at all. now, most would be peeved by this and react quite differently than we did. we, instead, chose to enjoy the company that we were sharing. we laughed about every little current condition that we experienced. it was like the twilight zone.

after ‘break fast’, we darted out, jimmy returned to work and the three of us, patty, jackie bobby and myself, decided to hit the mall. all he cared about in this moment was getting some oregon souvenirs for his kids [and cigarettes]. when I go to our local mall, I drive 3 miles [approx 5-10 min]. I think we drove for 30-40 minutes through some beautiful scenery to get to the mall. the liquid amber trees most definitely keep the eyes occupied.
the mall was quiet and the people were friendly! while patty ran in to say hi to a friend, jackie bobby and I grabbed some coffee from 'big town hero'. the gentleman behind the counter, pat, was too kind. the conversation began with coffee, went to my working for disneyland, to this coffee needs some punch. pat kindly took my advice and re-brewed his coffee using a different measurement and brewed the perfect pot of java. jack saw me work my magic and we made a new friend. if you're ever at heritage mall, tell pat that viv says hi [and thank you!].
at the mall we wandered through a couple of stores and at a popular accessory shop, jackie bobby bought me some super cute bedazzled fingerless gloves [which I keep in my purse] THANKS JACK! our visit to the mall was short lived but worth the trek. we headed home to get ready for the evening's festivities.
family knew I'd be visiting but no one knew jack was here from jersey [joyzee]. the sauce and meatballs prepared the night before were put on the stove top to bubble. pasta was getting prepped and myself and patty had to gather up derek, jimmy's son. I didn't have my camera [again] for this trip because I guess my thought was we're just going to his friend's house. what could be so "wow" about that? we headed down this single lane dirt road lined with bare trees and homes spread pretty far apart. at the end was this grand craftsman style home approximately 7000+ square feet with an infinity pool in the back yard. but it was the majestic forest of tall birch that surrounded this home that was so captivating. and when patty disappeared inside, from the forest, emerged four teenage boys wilding air soft rifles. had I had my finger on my trigger, I'd have shot them! ugh!
we scurried home, got ready, hid jack, who, while hiding, put his chef's coat on and towel over his arm. the first of the family arrived, marie and shawna. marie was soooooo surprised and happy to see her cousin! the "jack!!!!" and "oh my gawd" was great! but the best was the next. while jack hide for the second time, I leaned hard against the front door as josey, whom I haven't seen in 23 or so years tries to push the door open. I stepped away to allow the door to open expecting this surprised face. I go in to hug her and she just looked at me like I was crazy. turns out, patty and I look a LOT alike and josey, PATTY'S blood sister....thought I was patty. ha! but, I got my hug.
we all [but jack] convened in the kitchen/dining room area and then called on the 'butler'. as he emerged from the hallway, he made his way to the kitchen. I suggested that josey ask him for a meatball. freaked out, she refused. jimmy demanded the butler mix her a drink and josey, very concerned about our treatment of this guy, scoots in saying she'd do it herself. with her back to him, he turns to her, walks to stand beside her at which point she FINALLY looks him in the face and then the real freak out began. josey cried, hugged and hugged and laughed. it was so awesome for me to be a part of this little reunion. I truly love this family and now I have jack too. blessed!
once the settling began jack grabbed his prepared dish of spaghetti and meatballs with a tossed salad and the table was set. we ate, we drank and were all most def merry! it was a repeat performance of 'bobby' and jack's strut up the hallway. and after two days of constant stim, viv pooped out quickly.
someone, take that girl h o m e!
thank you to this wonderful, loving family for ALWAYS making me feel like I was a part of it. you mean the world to me!

rooster

2011-12-03T14:33:00.001-08:00

corvallis II-jackie bobby

2011-12-03T14:29:00.000-08:00

corvallis family pt. II

2011-11-30T17:25:00.001-08:00

to try and bring you up to speed, sort of, from my first trip to oregon [parts I and II] check the links below:
corvallis I
corvallis II
I had to make another trek up north for a second visit. my first was disrupted emotionally and I spent a great deal of time fighting whirling thoughts that I couldn't make go away, I cried more than I should have and a do-over was highly needed. now, bare with me, because this trip was straight CRAZEE! from the point that my cab arrived [5:30am] thursday morning to deliver me to john wayne airport until my chariot arrived to pick me up when I returned home. I don't want to leave a single detail out so please, do your best to keep up.

ok, cab arrives at the wee hours and the check-in was quite empty. this pleased me knowing I could get my things handled quickly and hit the terminal. I was to wait at terminal 6 and would sit at row 20 seat A.

the line boarding my flight was short and quick. getting to my seat was just the same. and when I got to my seat, the entire row all the way across was empty. I waited, thinking more people would be arriving, but, for the first time ever, I had an entire row all to myself. I put the armrest up and let the chillaxin begin.

oh, and then the flight had in-flight wifi FREE! I know that someone like myself who has no need to connect for work purposes shouldn't care, but I do and I did. like a fat kid in a candy store, I was so giddy. I was snapping shots in cabin and posting. and like a silly window-licker [minus the helmet] I was cracking up laughing to myself at the crazy updates I was posting. I had my itouch plugged in and had the beats bumping in my head. there was a party all right, but I was the only guest.

landing....awww the landing. I always get excited because you NEVER know what may be waiting for you in the terminal; especially with patty. I was safe this trip. phew! we did a quick catch up [no recap here] and then found our way back inside to eat. remember when you were actually offered a meal in-flight and it was INCLUDED?

no worries cause THIS was the ISH!!!!

bananas fosters for patty and crab benedict for moi

now, here's where things just get ignited. its like a fire was lit and our arses were on fire because as soon as patty's cousin jack arrived......O M G! okay, it started off okay. he was very sweet, charming, good sense of humor. but by the time we'd settled in only AFTER he tried claiming the master bedroom....uh NO! MINE MINE MINE hahaha it was later explained WHY jack chose this room. saving THAT for later.

maybe here is where I should decided that THIS post will be two of....four. the evening just went wild from here. the energy was so elevated between myself and patty's constant banter, pranks, joking and laughter to jimmy's egging us on and jack fueling the fire. he WAS the fire.

we'll begin with chef boyardee. jack hit the kitchen flying. he brought with him [along with much harassment from the airlines] a huge duffle bag filled with fresh italian cheeses, sausage [chorizo], several loaves of bread and olives. it was like that scene from pulp fiction where john travolta's character opens the case and the beautiful golden glow illuminates his face and stares into the light mesmerized. that was us as jack unzipped his duffle and began pulling out the goodies. as he prepared this presentation of nibbles, patty got the wine out and we got the evening started.

now, it gets a little cloudy here because there was so much going on in my head so bear with me. but if my memory serves me correct, we made a quick trip to the market to pick up some last minute items for dinner. meatballs for the following evening when family would be over and stuffed bell peppers for us on this night. again, like three children, we shuffled through the market messing with customers heads. at one point I'm next to jack checking out the goods as crazy patty comes up from behind me. she stops and with total attitude says, "uh, excuse me....could you move your a$$ please?" now, behind me is an elderly woman who looked like she feared for her life as her jaw slightly dropped open and her eyes bugged out. I turn with just as much tude and followed up with some snide remark just as tactless. later, patty and I were making our way up the back side of the store walking so close I could have been giving her a piggy back as we pass the same woman now completely confused as we smiled at her and said "Hi!". I know. it was mean....but funny and no one got hurt.

back at the castle, jack bust out the meat and his magic blend of spices and garlic and and and.....it was crazy awesome. jimmy dropped the italian beats to set the mood. it should have calmed any normal functioning human down but we were all juiced up on adrenaline.

once we'd stuffed our faces it was time to bust out the hookah. jimmy has a super nice hookah and with it he had mango flavored tobacco. I was a virgin hookah hitter so I was ready and excited to embark.

what's funny is the video that was taken which can't be shared [sorry]. when I boarded the plane, I immediately became congested and sniffly. and I thought I'd handled my biz, however as I blew the mango smoke from my nose, it only exited a single nostril. omg the hoots and giggles. we were dying! jack was fumbling with the camera trying his hardest to get a shot of this phenomenon. jimmy is across the table safely heckling me while patty records this. just create your own hysterical image of viv and her singular blow. insane!

uuugggghhhhhh....and so the jack. [I bet you thought I was done!]

this cat is too silly. when he came threw the terminal, I'm meeting him for the first time calling out Frank!!!! Frank!!!!! cause he looks JUST like stallone! people's head's spinning. jack's story is this, he was an aspiring comedian and after marrying, he gave up his dream. no need o get into any other details than that. this guy gave us two bits WHICH I recorded and WILL share.

and BACK at the other house, no details required, just know that I have a home in corvallis. ok, THEY have a home, but I am blessed to stay there and IN the room with the lock on the door.

sorry jack! we do love you

and this is why I get the master bedroom with the lock

[to be continued pt III]

corvallis family pt. I

2011-11-27T08:35:00.001-08:00

in 1989, mom and I moved from my g'pa, adrien's farm in chino, to an apartment in the city of anaheim. I was a wild child. aged 19 with a 'boyfriend' I despised because he wouldn't go away no matter how many times I told him to. I had a guy I truly enjoyed in my life but I was too stupid to know what I had at the time. and then this is where I met jamie who showed me what love should feel like when its real and mutual. as passionate as this all sounds, it was an upheaval of emotional flurry I wouldn't deal with until many years later.

when we first moved to this hood, I was working in orange and attending fullerton junior college. I was busy with being 19 and enjoying life in my youthful prime. in our little anaheim village were a gaggle of teenagers who would often mill around in our courtyard. every unit in our courtyard of 8 was occupied by kids and the other courtyards that neighbored ours seemed to have similar occupation. and for some reason I was feeling quite 'mature'. [I'll be damned if I'd call myself old at age 19] these kids just slayed me.

I mean, it was the beginning of the 90's so hair was huge, gloss was thick but the attitudes was too fierce for these kids to have. well, one of them had this hair that was to die for! it was past her waist and was just as curly. she was gorgeous! and, too, she was loud. she was saucy. and she was out of her mind! and I would grow to love this little girl like a sister. This little tumultuous village would be the beginning of a very long sisterhood that neither of us ever saw coming.

so many memories, but my first was walking her to the mcdonald's up the street, which today I wouldn't do for two reasons. the first is I don't eat that caca and the second is I no longer think its safe to walk the distance we walked that night at that hour wearing what I'm sure was a skirt or shorts that showed waaaaay too much arse. but as patty tells it, I saved her. as we walked up the sidewalk she nearly walked into one of those cables running from the pole into the sidewalk. she says I saved her as if it would have split her in half, but really she'd have knocked herself out. I laugh now cause the visual is hysterical.

I eventually moved in with my patty along with her younger sister and mother. like a good nanny/sister, I got these girls up for school, showered, dressed and out the door. I did this for a year making sure they were fed and that homework was done. mama marie worked the night shift so she slept during the day and all of this happened while a little bun in the oven was growing, shawna!

living in this italian household would prove to be a wild trip! we ate well, laughed constantly and patty, dammit! you are such a naughty girl. the pranks were constant! still are! here we are some 23 years later and you are even nuttier now that you're seasoned.

patty and I lost some years there after having babies and moving out of state. but, thanks to the internet, she found me! I honestly never thought that I'd impacted her life or family as they had mine until we reconnected back in 2004; some twelve years since our last encounter.

after catching up on all those years lost and chatting as often as possible on the phone staying up to date on current events, she planned a trek from her, now home in oregon, to california. in february of 2008 she spent a few days out in apple valley, a good 2 hour drive from where we lived in south oc. but to see patty, I'd have driven further. and although she is notorious for getting car sick, she did well on this long trek back. almost a week of shopping, sushi, more sushi, laughing, pranks on the next best victim. I hated to let her go back home.

since that visit, our lives changed drastically. most of you who've followed since 2007 would be aware of my life changes, so in a nutshell, here's hers. she became a very young mom at the age of 16, now the mother of 4. she has been hard-working supporting all of her children by working two jobs, staying on her feet for hours even while pregnant. and for her, I will say, that is one bad arse mama! she deserves to be treated like a queen for all of the love she has given. sometimes, we love for the sake of loving and giving because it feels good, but in return we don't always get what we need, want or deserve. and I believe we all deserve to have it all!

this brings me to may 18th of 2010 when my little sister's life changed and she began her new life. she has become the queen she always was and she is so deserving of everything, all of the love she receives. and on august 22nd of this year, I was invited to come visit her in oregon to witness the awesomeness that is, patty and jimmy.

daily FIVE for gratitude 326

2011-11-22T14:50:00.001-08:00

DAY 326!!!!
I am grateful for GLUE for enabling me to adhere my inspirational words & pics to canvas.
My pets! every single one of them. They ALL brought to us love, nose licks, cuddles, hisses and giggles.
Trees and their leaves in summer to offer shade and fall to offer beautiful inspiration that blows in the wind.
Mom for making us often laugh so hard our faces hurt leading to tears.
Dad for coming the distance to pick his daughter up from work - the rides home are quite comical too if even not intended to be ♥

reflections

2011-11-17T11:20:00.001-08:00

taking a moment to reflect on this life. It’s been a year since I posted a piece called “independence” in which I pissed off my, then, beau. reality does bite sometimes. I am a busy girl by nature. I have always been a traveler loving to be spontaneous; jumping in my ride and randomly heading to parts of LA or down to the beach for a day of fun. of course, having company is ideal, but they must be a willing party who enjoys the adventure as much as I do. a friend reminded me some years ago how I was his escape from ‘home’. he’d only ever traveled outside of his city circle to one [maybe two] other cities until I came around. crazy me had him in chino, ontario, los angeles, anaheim….anywhere and everywhere my car would take us. never a complaint! my only regret, now, is that we never documented those days.

and today, a year later….really YEARS later, I’m still independent. Imagine that?! I didn’t change and have no immediate plans on changing. the only way I’d ever be willing to ‘lean’ on a partner is if I knew without a doubt that he was committed and conveyed his desire to take care of me. but even then, that would only be a financial lean. a few months ago I was home adventure-less and in my room. I hated the position of my bed and so I decided it had to be moved. keep in mind I have no man in my life and my bed is queen Japanese platform bed with a leather headboard AND the mattress frame lifts for storage. this bad boy is a heavy beast! I removed the mattress and bedding but that was all I could do to lessen the weight of this bed. I dug deep within myself and within less than an hour I had this bed moved from one wall in my room to a different wall. mattress replaced and bed made. In between pushes and pulls I would stop and laugh at myself realizing I may have bit off more than I could chew but I was going to complete this crazy task. period! I even posted to my facebook wall that I needed to find my inner sheerah or that I needed extra arms. but, in the end, I got it done minus any assistance. well, unless you count ‘sam’ who would periodically text me making me laugh. and after flexing my inner bad ass, I treated myself to lunch at roman’s.

now, this same friend whom I kidnapped [figuratively] on my adventures once told me that it was okay to be single. of course, at the time, I wasn’t single. I was involved and thought we’d spend our days growing old together but that fantasy quickly died when he shed his cloak of lies. my friend sat like a spiritual guru telling me that being in a relationship that wasn’t offering all that you want or deserved meant settling and that settling should never be an option. his words reverberated often in my head when my, then, partner did things that were beyond questionable. I say beyond questionable because he once told me that he was giving ME the benefit of the doubt by sticking it out. ME? are you kidding?! let me chime in and say, “you shady chump!” [and that is all]

and I was listening to a song by our favorite teenage pop star, JB, called “u smile”:
I'd wait on you forever and a day hand and foot
ain't no way you're ever gon' get any less than you should – amen!

never will I settle. and by that I mean there are certain traits that will never be tolerated. The worst is being insecure; so much so that you are over-bearing, controlling through manipulation, covet and show signs of neediness. all gross and totally unattractive! This woman absolutely requires stability. We all have insecurities. that’s a given. but when they are so bad that when I say “I love you” and do my best to SHOW that I love you and you STILL question it……seek counseling! preferably as a couple. We ALL deserve to be loved and when someone is showing genuine love and you don’t get it…..knock knock?!

it’s amazing how much traveling and work I’ve gotten since august. from corvallis to ojai to corvallis for a second [do-over] trip. photo shoots lined up since july. a few new fans. I’ve even been on a few dates which is a whole other post in itself. but needless to say, life has taken a turn towards fulfillment. I have taken the past few months to indulge in the love of family and friends from the travel, halloween parties, dinner parties, gno, the wedding[!], and just the amazing new people I have allowed myself to be opened up to bringing into my life. I am loving my new ‘goat’ and the immediate connect we made back in september. wonder twins! come december, we’ll be at the end of 5 months of indulgence. as we enter january, it will be time for spirituality aka prayer. I anticipate more yoga with ava. the yoga in the park with our squirrel friend makes for a great start to a perfect day! and because I have already extended the invite, I look forward to the deep spiritual connection that will manifest into a beautiful foundation to a life-long friendship with my spiritual guru who sat on my couch pretending he knew how to play the guitar.

And for those who follow viv on facebook we have started 365 days of gratitude. this began when I saw people posting 24 days of thanks leading to thanksgiving. I think it’s just as important to give thanks every other day of the year and today is day 321! so, if you haven’t already, follow and post YOUR FIVE!

my FIVE:

1. clouds. they mesmerize me!

2. ocean. It soothes my soul!

3. birds. they sing to me!

4. stars! they light up the night sky!

5. marshmallows. they make me smile!

ojai - ish

2011-11-16T19:59:00.001-08:00

ojai is the ish. if you've not been, you must! just outside of venture in the valley, it is like a hidden escape. to go from city to country in a matter of minutes and to be offered so much character - who wouldn't want to stay?

as lola and I entered ojai, we passed a few cute shops/lounges and one I wanted so badly to go inside to snap some pics but for the life of me couldn't figure out HOW to get inside. "big buddha lounge", greet me with open doors next time, k?!

before checking in, we made a pit stop at just jenna's place for a glass of vino and leg stretch. I love her backyard retreat! jj & bob did a great job creating a sanctuary filled with beautiful open spaces, the bird aviary, the koi pond and a few sitting areas. simply lovely! again, should be a ritual!

we left jj's and headed over to the capri to get checked in and settle. entered our room and made our way outside to the patio where more relaxation ensued. and for the record, jj, YOU are stunning! this is my fave shot taken of you this whole weekend.

saturday morning, we enjoyed a quick continental breakfast & the second of our chicken four way burritos. sneaky girls we are. and then the guru arrived. swim suits on, food packed, water and wine and we headed out making our way to the hot springs. a quick pit stop at the westridge market for some last minute snacks and I couldn't resist capturing some of the beauty within the market.

we headed up the hwy towards the hot springs and off to the side of the road we saw what looked like a ferrari convention. like an amateur, my camera was ready as we jetted past the several parked sports cars. my fave was the powered blue. its such a chicks car but there they were....all men.

we stopped at the infamous water fall rock to place our hands and could hear a loud rumble coming up the hwy. I had crossed the two lane swirvy road to capture a pic of the stream with nothing but about 2 feet of space between me and the possible car that might wrap itself around the curve as the ferraris came up in the opposite direction. in awe and fear I sat, again, like an amateur, in fear of dying and too giggling giddily as these beautiful cars paraded by, engines humming. I might need one!

we finally made it to hot springs which I may not have mentioned in my post a year ago has a lot of nudity. you could get a good game of croquet - if you know what I mean. and like a smart photographer, I didn't snap any of that tomfoolery. but lola made a point of snapping several of me soaking in the very well heated hot spring pool.

in my previous post I told you that we stopped at the corrales for the four way which was soooo good, I can only hope that we make that a weekend in ojai ritual. WOW! on saturday, after we took a trek to the hot springs and only AFTER I recovered from the sudden dizzy spell that came over me. tummy turning, white spots & all. it took some serious inner strength I had to muster up to make the climb back up the steep hill that lead to road where we'd parked. I had to stop several times and take deep breaths before finally reaching the top. I nearly fainted; something I've never done in my life. I sat in the dead thistle uncaring that it would stick to my bum and took my final rest before making my way to the car.

I said it then, I'll say it again, "thank you for loving me!" lola turned on karunesh while the guru let the sun warm my skin and massaged my head to relieve the pressure that had built up making me so weak. within in minutes, I was like a rock star. up and ready to eat! to jolly kone we go!

soooooo good!

back in our room, we took some down time and silly girl, me, played with my bolster boyfriend. I WANT ONE CHRIS!

yep, I love him THAT much!

insert bodees here cause that's where went & that's what we ate and IT was divine!

after a night of indulgence and laughter at bodees due to reservations for 35, LOUD man a the table next to us whose guests seemed desperate to escape him....oh and very sweet gentleman who paid me the compliment on my way to the ladies room, "WOW! she is beautiful!" - thank you! we slept hard!

sunday, our last day, we began with breakfast at the ojai cafe emporium. we arrived to a wait that jj insisted was worth waiting for. and all I'm sharing is lola's knife with the left over grub that no one dared lick off.

and on our last adventure, we traveled the roads through ojai and got snap happy. I will share a whole other post with nothing but photos from the final adventure.

"happy trails to you, until we meet again." | dale evans

bodees - round II

2011-11-16T19:26:00.001-08:00

when in ojai, before or after enjoying your jolly cone corn burritos, it is a MUST that you dine at bodees!

and without further ado, lets dine! and be merry!

spiced peartini

ryan seacrest blackberry chin check
[although, viv was doing a mytouch chin check]

ojai or bust

2011-11-16T16:43:00.001-08:00

I'm a big fan of ojai as my lola was raised here and our journey into town is always an adventure. on this visit we stopped off outside of town to grab a quick bit to eat. first stop, corrales for the chicken four way burrito with sour cream and corn burritos [not to be confused with jolly cone corn burritos. we had those later on in the trip].

sometimes the local stops have the best food and lemme tell ya, the chicken four way was so delish. we ordered two and before I remembered to snap a pic, we'd nearly woofed that bad boy down. possibly one of the best burritos I've ever had. no lie!

once our bellies were full, we made our way into town. destination - the capri!

so many reasons to love the capri. from its old retro entrance with the large river rocks that dress the outside facade, the golf course located directly across the street, a large court yard in the center of the grounds, continental breakfast and chris! and now, everything in-between.

finito!

capri is the place to be

2011-11-08T09:07:00.000-08:00

The Capri & Vyvyan

the last two visits to magical ojai that I've made, my weekend abode has been the hotel capri. lola has built quite the rapport with christopher who manages the hotel making our stay that much better. it isn't this super fancy schmancy resort style hotel. instead it's a refurbished old school motel with a zen flare. the lobby offers clean white leather lines and a craggy rock fireplace to warm the space. on this visit, hanging on the walls were these space invader type bubble type people. bright vivid life; almost neon, was illuminating the lobby and rooms of the capri. back in our room, lola and I giggled at the photo strategically placed beside one bed. fiery red sperm. we loved it so much we took several shots of it.

the capri is super quiet [unless rock stars come to visit, then....] there is a huge courtyard behind the pool area and off of the lower level units. dogs are welcome! there is a tether ball for some afternoon play. a fountain that trickles peace & calm into the room if you leave your pation door open just enough to let it in. and in the far area of the courtyard is buddah. this buddah, I've photographed before, but this time he had some smuged mud on his belly. lola found a towel and began cleaning him. as she rubbed buddah's belly, we began noticing that on the metal, embossed, was this beautifully intricate detail covering the robe worn by buddah.

mornings at the hotel capri consist of a continental breakfast offering scones and bread, teas and coffee, and seasonal fruit. while in the lobby, be sure to say hi to vivian for me. he is the sweetest, most awesomest kitty ever to grace the halls of a hotel. and how nice that HE just happens to be a VYVYAN [name taken from the british television show 'the young ones'].

Vyvyan

now, back to that art work....I decided to ask christopher whose work was this. his response, "my friend dan". nice. your friend dan is one funky monkey. he then says, "dan ash. you know!? bauhaus!" with excitement, chris talked up dan ash's work also filling me in on an art show in l.a. I'll keep you posted!

all hallow's eve

2011-10-30T19:08:00.000-07:00

it was another celebration at mc ava's "everything vampire," although viv preferred to reference the shin dig as VAMPire posse 2011. what a motley crew arrived.

looking forward to next year's theme. rocky horror picture show? zombie night? apocalypse now? prom night massacre? always a great time!

"Darkness falls across the land
The midnight hour is close at hand
Creatures crawl in search of blood
To terrorize y'alls neighborhood
And whosoever shall be found
Without the soul for getting down
Must stand and face the hounds of hell
And rot inside a corpse's shell
The foulest stench is in the air
The funk of forty thousand years
And grizzly ghouls from every tomb
Are closing in to seal your doom
And though you fight to stay alive
Your body starts to shiver
For no mere mortal can resist
The evil of the thriller" | Michael Jackson

taste of soul

2011-10-21T11:10:00.000-07:00

I was invited last minute to attend the taste of soul event in crenshaw this past saturday with my cousin, dancer, d*fox. initially we were told there would be some world record ‘soul train’ line and so we thought lets go. well, actually, I thought, "yes, I'll tag along."
any time I get to spend any amount of time with my cousin, I’m overjoyed! he is, and always has been, a pinnacle in my life. I’m blessed to have a few of these.

we headed to crenshaw with a minimal clue on how to get there. it’s not an everyday destination. he had me giggling as he prayer our way up to make God guided him correctly and then prayed some more to find us good parking and then prayed some MORE to keep his car safe [hahaha] the whole time he’s driving, I’m smelling fish and we’re nowhere near the ocean….hearing music that makes me crave chips, salsa and a tall maragarita.

once we start walking, I realize this girl MUST find a potty and quick. I recalled seeing a restaurant on a corner just past the church. we hustle in so that I can pee and cousin can grab some lemonade. it was earlz to the rescue. we had to walk past the counter and menu to get to the restrooms located outside. I peeked! after my intermission, back inside my cousin asked if I was thirsty, bought some lemonade and while filling his cup I peered over at a man standing too close with his basket of hot, crispy french fries.....taunting me. We tried to leave, really, we did, but as we exited the door the sign said, 'four chicken wings with french fries [or.....who cares?! I saw fries]. we turned around, placed our order and waited for what turned out to be my second most amazing meal that day.

earlz is obviously a local fave with his flashing advertising and videos running behind the counter luring people like myself to stay and dine in. all around the inside were ads from local vendors. It kind of reminds you of riding the bus except it smells waaaaay better!!! And the best part was the sweet woman went around harassing patrons as they dined. why? because she could ha!!

if ever on this side of los angeles, stop in try something, ANYTHING....it was worth every morsel I inhaled! oh and don't forget the red rooster!!!

and of course I took a picture of a picture of me taking a picture

after throwing a munch with red rooster on my fries....soooooo good, we left the joint and walked into a crowd of 250 thousand kjlh fans. mind you, this was crenshaw. this was the same street we had riots because of rodney king. I remember vividly watching as it went down. so many angry people in the street and others simply taking advantage of a situation. but on this day, it was so peaceful and the music set the tone for what would be a memorable afternoon with my favorite cousin and one of my best friends.

a bit of what we saw, people, a SEA of people, and street acts, bikes, murals on the street.....and take a look at the last pic. man do I love this man. quick story. when I was about 21, 22 and lived in hancock park, my then bestie, cindy and I frequented the infamous roxbury and never had much trouble getting inside the VIP room. one evening, don cornelius was there; towering over me like zues. he told the door man, without my ever asking, that I was his daughter and to never give me a hard time getting in. from that day forward, the VIP lounge was my new lair. that made me feel VIP. thanks don!

“there is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society, are created, strengthened and maintained” | winston churchill

love is all there is

2011-10-17T19:02:00.000-07:00

the other day on my personal facebook, my status read the following:

"Love IS forever, my friends. But sometimes people choose to pretend it never existed. Others want to deny they ever felt it. And some just don't know how to open themselves up to it's full potential. And there are the few of us who get it, allow it to envelope us, claim it, embrace it and ride it's wave until the end of days....Love is all there is!"

I am still about ankle deep in yesterday.....just about pulled myself from what was, but I am human and so I reflect. it's a pathetic world we live in when love is given freely to someone who, rather than open up to all of the possibilities that this love might bring, instead wants to compare it to everything else they'd ever had. and even worse is that your past relationships that they've opted to compare you to might have not been as amazing as the one they were experiencing. so, what you end up doing is sabotaging it before it ever has a chance to really take off.

there is also the co-dependent who, without cause, even after true love, rather than FIGHT for it, will let it walk away. and then walk, themselves, into the arms of any seemingly decent warm body. this one will fail miserably as well. imagine you've been wounded, if you will. The pain is excruciating. Your body bends and twists to push through. if necessary, stitches [friends] are needed to keep it together. they stick around for a couple of weeks or until you appear to be holding on your own. and then the healing begins. it sometimes itches. we scratch that itch and can open the wound. we return to get the stitches reattached. it doesn't hurt nearly as much. but the itch returns, we let it go and before long its looking good. a little swollen, red and has left a scar, but we know that we should proceed with caution before doing whatever it was we were doing to ensure it doesn't happen again. the co-dependent is a glutton for punishment and will wind up beaten, tattered and torn; scarred for all the lack of healing.

but viv, she embraces love when it comes into her. I have met many a friend recently who I've immediately felt a connection to. to banter, to laugh and share common interests has been my indulgence of recent days. this has been my 'stitch' of sorts. rather than beat my heart up and abuse it for the sake of not being lonely, I have done what we should do and applied proper pressure to stop the bleeding, stitched the wound by surrounding myself with great friends who've been supportive and loving. I had an itch, I stupidly scratched and had to reapply pressure, but the wound is quickly healing. there will forever be a scar on my heart where my last love was, but until the redness and swelling have subsided and I know the stitches can be removed, I won't jump into any one's warm bodied arms just for the sake of companionship.

I don't say all of this to prove that I am better than anyone for my choices. truth is, we all know when reading this, that it is the way our hearts operate and you will either wait to fully heal before opening your heart again, jump in without regard for the heart, or just go in for companionship never truly giving anything away. the wise would choose the wait. if you seek true companionship I would hope you'd want a strong heart ready for love?! why waste an ounce of energy giving up even companionship for body heat just as a means to pass time until something better comes along? get right! you will never be ready with that kind of thinking.

soon enough, I will be ready to get my board out again and hit the emotional waves that come with being in a loving relationship. no time sooner! when I'm in, I'm in.....until the end of days because, "love is all there is...."

“Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.” | Tori Amos

to LIVE like VIV

2011-10-07T13:51:00.000-07:00

living is beyond simple. it is US that makes it far more complicated than is necessary. yes, crap happens to us. we lose our jobs, our homes, friends, family....pardon my bluntness, but shit happens! but we have to see through to get over it! it's all temporary. sludge through the mud! we have to put on our big girl panties and grow up. grab your goulashes, rain coat and umbrella and push through the storm.

I encourage you to NOT curl up in the corner and cry. do NOT get stuck in a rut that is determined to bring you down. do NOT surround yourself with people who see fit to discourage your determination!!

GET UP! GET OUT! GET LIVING!

every single day is a new day to begin again. yes, while yesterday was tragic and nearly broke you, TODAY you have a chance to begin a new. change your perspective! look ahead at the beautiful day ahead of and allow yesterday to remain in your past. TODAY you have the opportunity to wake up [be grateful for that]. read the obituaries. some don't get a new day. and although we all want to live on the notion that heaven is the destination to ultimately reach, until then you are still of the living so.....LIVE! be thankful you have today!

so, you're awake and you are loved! how do I know you're loved? because at the least you love you! and if you're reading this saying, "I don't know if I love me...." really? how can you NOT? YOU are an amazing and unique creature. there is no one just like you. you were made perfect exactly as you are. this is not to say that we can't all use a bit of refining around the edges, but none-the-less perfection at its best! and if you don't love you more than anyone else, how can anyone else love you? believe you me, I think I'm the bees knees!

here we are, awake and in love! now, all you have to do is look to the sky! its an endless pool of possibilities! everyday the sky changes and for everyone the view is different and ever changing. and you should take a moment every single day to revel in it! it is a glorious site to behold. there is beauty in everything, whether created by nature or by man which in turn was created by nature. so, really, everything was created by nature. see how that works? architecture. magnificent! flowers blooming. breath taking! smiling faces. refreshing! laughter. enlightening! food. replenishing!

seek beauty and happiness in all things that surround you each day. handle only the things that are within your abilities to deal with and let everything else go. trust that everything you need, you already have. and, again, remember to let go!

GET UP! GET OUT! GET LIVING! Find the silver lining!

“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.” | Flora Whittemore

santa ana art walk 10.1.11

2011-10-03T09:53:00.000-07:00

oh what a night!

first, let me say just how disappointed I am with the staff at lola gaspar. I called 2 days prior to art and was told they take no reservations. I explained we'd be arriving with a large posse. the 'guy' on the other end assured me that if we arrived by 5-5:30 we'd be fine. and so, some of the posse arrived early and were told sorry, we have seated a party of 10 WITH reservations. W H A T?! [and don't think this won't be yelped. I'm a yelper] I called the restaurant and was told 'no, maam, we don't take reservations'. he then told me that I had no friends standing outside; everyone has been seated. wanna know why? because the nasty people at LOLA GASPAR'S kicked them out! no worries you high fullutent swines! we'll take our HUGE posse to an establishment who actually wishes to liven up AND make a pretty penny for their staff.

MEMPHIS!

second, WE LOVE YOU CHRIS!!!! they seated the posse that had arrived [party of 10] and then viv, nikki, & noodle show up [making it 13] and then michael pops in [14] and then jando & his crew....party of 18! and guess who served us right? MEMPHIS!

Chris at Memphis Cafe took good care of us! Unlike that other establishment around the corner who actually asked paying patrons to leave because their party was too large.....

the food was beautiful AND filling! the company even more so....

an hour [or so] late to the gallery, but we got her there.

SANTORA!

we meandered the cobblestone area between the art buildings and then made way to

PROOF!

for some arse shaking!

if you haven't, you MUST, come to art walk santa ana!

“I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.” | Albert Einstein

Chicken/Chile/Bacon S.LoV

2011-09-28T10:21:00.000-07:00

lets all begin by thanking miss nancy for this lil contribution. its a four combo recipe that takes very little prep time and only approximately 35 minutes to cook. she'd posted a before and after of her prepped meal and the finished product was screaming 'eat me'. last night we made this dish and let me just say "WOW"! check this out! try it and them PLEASE share your comments on what you thought.

chicken/chile/bacon [nancy used jalapeno]:

Chicken breast halved and quartered

whack that chicken!

seriously! beat it!

for the two breast I have quartered I used 4 pieces of bacon each cut in half and two green chiles quartered

decorate your chicken pretty like with green chiles

See?! pretty! [unless you're a vegetarian]

wrap each piece of chicken with the halfed bacon pieces and bake in oven at 350 for 10-15 minutes

baste with yummy bbq sauce and bake for another 10 minutes

baste those bad boys again and bake for another 10 minutes

take a picture of yourself in the oven....

I got a little ahead of myself....served it up with Spanish rice and beans. That chicken was soooooo juicy & cut like buttah!

Look at it!

Look again!

“There is no sincerer love than the love of food.” | George Bernard Shaw

the indulgence of it all

2011-09-25T23:33:00.000-07:00

elizabeth went to italy to learn italian, the latin language of love, and to eat! it was about indulgence! or at least that's how we'll portray it here. and since you've chosen to come with me on my personal journey of indulgence, I should mention that it isn't food. my indulgence of choice are my friends and family. when I was married, in the early years we had roommates. for quite a few years in fact. and then for a short time we lived alone. we, then, lived with my mom for a couple of years until moving to washington state for 4 years. and then there were holidays and birthdays with family and friends, weddings and funerals. constantly with family. there were even discussions about where we'd spend holidays until I finally put my foot down and said "HOME". I love my family, so before anyone starts thinking I don't, they are most important to me. if there's anywhere that I can just "BE", its with them. unguarded, raw, honest me.

once we moved back to california, about 2 years after getting back together, we escaped the nest again, this time living in RSM which is way out in the boondocks; far from everyone. no drop-in visits. then to our huge 2000 sq ft home in Ladera Ranch complete with stainless steel bar-b-que, marble fire pit, jacuzzi and gazebo in the back yard for entertaining. I had a full kitchen with a huge island/bar and plenty of counter space for a team of women to work without colliding. The drive-way offered plenty of parking and we lived on a pretty large street with ample space for our guests. the first party ever thrown was for my brother's 40th. from then on, all holidays were celebrated at OUR house!

"HOME" [in my columbian 'gloria' voice - "I win" sounds like "I ween"]

but, of course, this didn't satisfy my soul. not really. I loved family and friends coming over. the house came to life when they were all there and we were cooking and laughing and the wine never stopped flowing. they'd spend the night, I'd make breakfast, coffee. it was those days I loved most.

my indulgence wasn't/isn't the food, its the people. now, this isn't one I will ever let go of. I get excited knowing that I get to entertain you. knowing that you will be coming to grace me with your warm energy pleases me. and I'm always sad to see you go. I say 'you' because I assume you are someone I have or may, in the future, have the chance to invite into my home. and so, rather than travel to italy to learn a foreign language, I will, instead, indulge in my favoritest of all favorites - friends and family! I'll admit that for TWO years, while I allowed myself to become consumed with my relationship with my 'David' [who is really nothing like David at all. I would say that even though I was the one who came with obvious baggage, I wasn't in denial about it. in this particular instance, I was the strong, aggressive, spiritual David. the fundip was definitely the elizabeth roll; pretending to be okay, living in the movie we created, becoming submerged only to later doubt my every intention...and yes, I intentionally capitalized the "D" in David and kept the 'e' in elizabeth small......] my relationships with those I'd spent so much time with before him suddenly lie dormant. the one person I did spend time with was lola. possibly because we lived on opposite streets when I move to the lbc, within 2 minutes of one another. otherwise, I might not have seen anyone to be honest with you. well, at least not MY friends anyway. everything revolved around his friends and his family both of which I adored. but I knew that before me, he wasn't spending that much time with them either. a little bird told me.

since our parting of ways on july 22nd of this year, I have made every effort to make the most time for my family first followed by my personal time with friends. I'm a bit disappointed in my trip to corvallis, or on the heals of "seeing" the truth....and yes, I know, the truth shall set you free. but really, I just want to HEAR the truth. I can't stand fake plastic trees. I own NO silk plants! THAT should have been a red flag! [breathing....] but my 'would be' awesome trip, which still was pretty awesome considering the company, was clouded by tears of frustration. I want my do-over! and from then on, I chose to spend as much time as I possibly could with everyone I love the most. more weekends with paco and lola followed by yoga in the park with ava. sunsets, the beach, el cortez and anywhere else we seek with sam. weekend walks with roxy through our hood, walks on the beach with the clan, afternoon photo shoots with clients, reconnecting with digum getting uplifting support and accolades. and my bi-weekly lunches/dinners with mom. my other mom [grin].

she has been my savior from the very beginning when my birth mom first entered the hospital. she was the first family member to arrive and stay through it all. the bond we now have is unbreakable & I love spending as much quality time with her as possible. when I first hopped on the fundip ride she saw a light in my eyes that hadn't been lit in years. she was excited with me, not just for me and has been awesome in staying on me to make sure I didn't teeter. I love you mama portia! [love you C U]

I will be riding the indulgence train for as long as I see fit.

“Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it.” | Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love