I first auditioned for One on One in the fall of '07. They turned me down. I then auditioned again in the spring of '08, and they told me I needed more training, so I was turned down again. In a perverse (or adaptive?) way, I was glad. Usually when I audition, if I'm not cast, I have this strange belief — and I honestly believe it — that the auditioner doesn't know what they're doing, and they don't recognize good acting when they see it. It's a crazy belief, and it's obviously not true (though in some rare cases it can be), but I somehow believe it anyway. I'm never bitter or angry — it's just a crazy belief, I don't know where it comes from,  that helps me almost immediately move on.

With "One on One," however, I didn't have that attitude. Instead I thought: OK — I suck. Now, how do I get better? It was important question because after they first rejected me, I decided I'd never give up: I'd just go back and try again and again and again every 6 months or so, and it would be really embarrassing to show up for my 50th try, after 25 years or something, and fail again, so the sooner I got better, well . . . that would good.

So, I've been working hard on not just on my monologues but on just doing any monologue. It's a bit hard to explain, but I've really been working on the "technique" of handling text in general and then adapting that general technique for monologues. I also decided to work with my coach, Deborah Carlson, before heading over to West 27 Street. Every actor needs a great coach up their sleeve, and Deborah's my ace.

So what happened? I put it all in this email:

Hi Deb,

The audition at one on one went well. I was really nervous the night before, had a hard time sleeping (even though not that much was really at stake — if I didn’t pass, I’d just try again), so I just sort of handed it all over to a “higher power,” whatever that is, and I just settled, centered, focused and told myself that I was simply going to do my best. For me, sometime I don’t rise to the challenge and don’t do my best because I’m afraid it won’t be good enough, but this time, just calmly trusting in this “higher power,” I decided or just knew somehow I was going to do my best. I wasn't “fired up.” I was just grounded with a kind of calm determination, determined I would be happy with what I would do no matter what the outcome.

It’s funny, almost a year ago, I sort of anticipated this, how I want to “be,” when it really counts, in this post – it includes a video clip from the film “Facing the Giants,” and it says it all:

So – I get to One on One, sign-in, sit down, breathe and wait. About five minutes later, the auditioner opens the door, looks around and says “Christopher?” I stand up, walk into the room, hand him my headshot, and there’s no small talk — he asks me what I’m going to do. I tell him and then I do exactly what you taught me, and I do it as best I can, nothing less.

After, he tells me I did a nice job, that I showed him two very nice pieces, and that they’d be happy to have me as a member.

I was stunned!

That was my 3rd time, so only thing I was sure of was that I was going to keep coming back until I passed. I said thank you, and he said they would be calling or emailing in a couple of days to confirm and set up an orientation. It was almost all anti-climactic! And it’s not like it’s a professional audition for some specific role, but for me, it was personally important.

They do require a onetime membership fee of $50, so after the audition, I went to the reception area to pay and to sign anything — my real motivation was I didn’t want to wait: I wanted to become a member NOW, before they changed their mind!

Anyway, I went up to the person at the desk and said: well, I guess I passed the audition, and I know there’s a sign-up fee, so I’d like to pay that now, and she gave me a really weird look, then looked at the other person working with her, and then she turned back to me and said: he told you were accepted? and I said uh  . . . yes . . . ? sure I had misheard or misunderstand something. She looked back at her colleague and then back at me, and then smiled and said: he cheated, he was suppose to wait until we called you, but . . . he must have really liked you. You must of done great if it told you right now your accepted.

I was stunned again. I said, OK, I’ll wait for the confirmation, again sure it was some sort of mistake and I’d either never hear from them or they’d tell me that I misunderstood somehow.

But, today they called — I’m in, and it’s all thanks to that “higher power,” the “Facing the Giants” clip, and – most importantly – YOU!!!!!! THANK YOU DEBORAH!!!

Below is an email I sent to my family and some close friends. I'm including it here because some readers of  this post may not understand what a "networking/casting house" is:

Hi Mom, Joan, Carole, & Lynda,

I thought you'd like to know: I'm now a member of "One on One Productions."

I also thought you might be interested in how the "business" side of it works for someone like me, i.e., a nobody :) who is just starting to look for paid professional work.

"One on One" is a network and casting house. There's a lot of these "network houses" in NYC (as you can imagine), and few of them require an audition before you can participate in what are called "meet and greets." What these networking houses give you, for a price (about $30 for a one on one meeting), the opportunity to show your work, to "market" yourself -- and you have to market yourself somehow, especially if you're a beginner.

Exactly how this whole paid "meet-and-greet" industry came about is an interesting question, but I've talked to a few casting directors and agents and it does seem to be a more efficient way for "the industry" to see new talent rather than the old way of taking their time to go out to see a "showcase," and often the showcases can be so bad that it's done more harm than good to the actors. Anyway, they have their opinions, but in the main, I think meet-and-greets are an effective and efficient way to marketing yourself.

Here's an example of what's called a "face-to-face:"

Anne Tuetschel (Casting Director)
Tuesday, February 24th
Time: 7:30pm
Anne Teutschel is a super busy freelance casting director who just finished a webisode marketing campaign for 4th Row Films and has more projects with 4th Row in the works. Other projects with Ann Goulder include "Adventureland" directed by Greg Mottola ("Superbad") and "Taking Chance" starring Kevin Bacon for HBO. Additionally, she has worked with Slater/Brooksbank Casting on the ABC series "Six Degrees" and pilots including "Dirty Sexy Money" for ABC/Touchstone. Past credits include "Deception" starring Hugh Jackman, Ewan McGregor and Michelle Williams, working with legendary film CD Bonnie Timmermann. Anne also worked on NBC's "Kidnapped", pilots for UPN, a number of independent films as well as shows at the Public Theater. Anne has been head casting director and head associate. She always bring our actors in after coming here!
Monologue
Fee: $30

There are also things called "networking intensives" what are part class, part networking, part casting session. Here you meet with a casting director for a reading. The intensive is anywhere from 2 to 4 hours, they are there to coach, answer questions, and give feedback on a reading -- you're given "sides" (parts of a script, usually quite current) a few days the intensive, so it's a professional audition, but it's not for any specific part. Here's an example of an intensive:

Gayle Keller (Casting) Bonnie Finnegan Casting
Saturday, February 7th
Time: 12:00 pm
Gayle is currently casting 13 episodes of The Unusuals for ABC. She was also the head casting director for Law and Order: Criminal Intent for four years. She has also casts several films out of the Actors Alliance such as Marley & Me, Welcome to Academia, and The Devils Advocate. Gayle is always excited to meet new talent.
Fee: $85

The rub is insuring that these "meet and greets" are of such quality that the "industry" finds them useful for evaluating new talent. This why I went to One on One and The Actors Alliance because they're trying to do "quality control," they only want actors coming in who understand the business side of it all, have some experience, and who audition well. It was my 3rd audition for "One on One" -- the first two, I didn't qualify, but they always invite you back to try again (with the understanding, of course, they they want to see an improvement).

The "model" that I'm following is one that a friend, Christopher Stadulis, has successfully followed. He's been doing traditional meet-and-greets with the goal of getting called in for auditions by casting directors and he's started to book work. This has impress agents he's meet because they see he's gone out, he knows how to market himself, and he's been able to book professional jobs on his own without an agent. This is how he got picked up after a "face to face" with a agent, and now that agent is sending him out for professional auditions.

This is pretty typical what a beginning working actor does, and he's been doing a lot of small things, but he's spending the day working with people like Jennifer Aniston, Alex Baldwin, etc. This type of work looks "small" but it makes a huge impression on industry professional (casting directors, agents, producers) because it's not easy to get or do.

Anyway, that's part of what I'm doing here in NYC, in addition to taking an ongoing acting class, being a member of a couple of theatre companies where I work and present work, and, of course, auditioning for the 100s of non-union, non-paid off-off-...-Off-Broadway stuff, which a great training ground for beginners. Oh yeah -- and trying to make a "living" while I'm doing all this!

It's tough (sometimes really tough), financially, emotionally, especally now, but I'm really very happy and I feel like I'm the luckest person on the planet because I'm able to do this.

- Love,
      Chris

Finally, here's some links to other posts in this blog about networking, casting workshops, and meet-and-greets that I hope readers will find helpful:

• Agent & Casting Director Meet-and-Greets: Why Actors Need To Network
• Networking: Actor, Agents & Casting Director Meet-and-Greets
• Hopes and Dreams and Goals. Auditioning at The Actors Alliance
• Success at The Actors Alliance
• How to use Agent and Casting Director 'Meet-and-Greets.'
• Audition Material Feedback
• Are You a NYC Actor? Want to go Pro? Then tune into "Inside The Casting Office" with Jeff Mitchell
• Acting Business Basics: from Agents to Voiceovers. Inside The Casting Office With Jeff Mitchell - PodCast

Re-posted from Bob Fraser's MySpace Blog:

You may have heard that the Motion Picture Home is in some financial trouble and that the MPTF Board has decided to close the Motion Picture charity hospital and nursing home, the element of the facility that cares for those show folks who are elderly and ill - the acute care hospital and the long-term care residence.

Jeffrey Katzenberg, the chairman of the foundation's board, has said that the regular yearly deficits are endangering the entire facility. The solution seems to be to move about 100 patients to other facilities and close down that part of the hospital's operations (and fire about 300 employees).

If you're like me, you are probably royally ticked off that the MPTF (Motion Picture and Television Fund), formed in 1921 by Charlie Chaplin, Mary Pickford, Douglas Fairbanks and D.W. Griffith - has (apparently) been managed so badly that this vital care facility is now on the cusp of being shuttered.

This is one show that shouldn't close.

That this is happening in an era of half a billion dollar blockbusters, soaring star fees, and constant award giving is - in my not so humble opinion - the 'bread and circuses' behavior that led to the well deserved fall of the Roman
Empire.

While some show people who are so public in their support of any sort of 'iffy' cause - at the drop of a mention in the columns - are strangely quiet about our own emergency, it is incumbent upon the rest of us to do and say what we can.

As President Obama just said, this is not the way forward.

As an industry, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and start taking a hard look at the way things are being managed here in LaLaLand. If there was ever a reason to take a second look at what 'management' has done - and intends to continue to do in the future - this is it.

So, please, write letters, get involved, and let's do our part to make outrage very very public - and perhaps we can shame the 'movers and shakers' in our business to cough up some time and money to prevent this terrible 'solution.'

Keep in mind that this is essentially a financial situation created by the same sort of "money managers" that brought our economy to its current sorry state.

I hope we can all 'step in' at the last minute and make a real difference.

I really do, because, my friend, Robert Guillaume is now in residence at the Motion Picture Home. He and all those show biz folks who have entertained the world for many generations may need these critical care facilities in the days to come - and they deserve better than this.

There are close to 100,000 on MySpace and if each one of us takes a moment out of our busy day to 'step up' ... I'm sure we CAN make a difference.

THINGS TO DO ...

Join the Facebook group Save The Motion Picture Hospital, that has just been formed in an effort to make this situation very very public.

Just type "Save The Motion Picture Hospital" into your Facebook search ...

... and tell them Bob Fraser sent you.

Write to the AMPTP and express your feelings about their lack of support for our elderly co-stars.

AMPTP
15301 Ventura Blvd.
Sherman Oaks, CA 91403

Contact your local SAG office and tell them how you feel about this travesty - and ask what the officers of our union are going to do to reverse the decisions being made by non-performers.

Contact your congressperson and suggest that perhaps this might be a circumstance that requires a few of those 'bail out' bucks that have up to now been earmarked for idiot bankers, Wall Street thieves, and failing car company executives.

[Christopher here: The very best thing to do is write a representative. After that, the next best thing to do is call. Letters and calling are worth a hundred petitions and emails to a congressperson. They really pay attention to letters.

Here an easy fast guideline for how to contact your representative:

If you don't know who your representative is, this website will tell you.]

And perhaps we might even consider not supporting the networks and the major movie companies until they acknowledge this foul up ... and start doing something about it.

All right, I admit it, I've got my panties in a twist ... but this is happening to our brethren in greasepaint, and I just think it's time we stopped focusing on our own ambitions for a brief moment ... and got 'responsible.'

Please, as a favor to me, make your voice heard.

Have a great day and, as always ...

Much Success (and compassion),

Bob

Are you finding it harder to get auditions, to get bookings? Well, you can do something about it!

A state tax credit that brought television production in New York City to a record high last year has run out of money, threatening jobs in the one sector of the city’s economy that had been expected to thrive during the recession.

Already television production studios are holding back on plans to shoot pilots in New York this spring, the traditional time of year when the networks begin work on new series for the fall. If funding for the tax credit program is not renewed, feature film and television series production could also dry up once current projects are completed. (Matthew Flamm, Crain's New York Business).

Much of the new programming the world sees on TV and cable is due to the New York State tax credit for film/television production. It has been in place for years, and the effect on the city and industry has been very positive:

According to a 2007 study by Ernst and Young, the state and city combined have issued $690 million in tax credits and have collected $2.7 billion in NEW taxes from movie and television productions. It helped create over 7,000 new production jobs directly in 2007 and over 12,000 new jobs in the city indirectly. It's these types of incentives that have helped make NYC safe and such a great place to live and work.

It has moved a lot of TV and film production from Calilornia to NYC because Calilornia has such high taxes. It was been so succesful, California has passed it's own version of TV- And Film-Production Tax Credits, (California also despreately needs a spending limit too).

I think it's well known that when these types of taxes are reduced, both the economy activity and tax revenues increase, yet NY State overspent in the good years and now they're broke, and they want to kill the program because they need money fast and they don't seem to care about all the jobs that will be lost if taxes go up.

I cannot tell you how difficult it is for beginning actors in NYC, especially with the cost of living and taxes so high already.

Action Will Help Ensure New York Remains a Premier Destination for the Movie and Television Industry. Things You Can Do!

The very best thing to do is write a representative.

After that, the next best thing to do is call. Letters and calling are worth a hundred petitions and emails to a congressperson. They really pay attention to letters.

Here an easy fast guideline for how to contact your representative:

If you don't know who your representative is, this website will tell you.

Second, Sign this Petition:

The actors' unions, SAG and AFTRA, is sending out a petition to the governor asking him to keep this program in place.

Here's the email AFTRA is sending around, and there's a link to a petition that they are asking everyone to sign:

Act Now to Save New York State's
TV and Film Tax Credits!
New York State Governor David A. Patterson is threatening to cut funding for the New York State Tax Credit Program. According to a 2007 study, the state and city combined have issued $690 million in tax credits and have collected $2.7 billion in taxes from movie and television productions. In 2007, this program helped create over 7,000 jobs directly and over 12,000 jobs indirectly. With an unemployment rate of over 7%, now is not the time to cut programs that create jobs and foster new businesses in our state. This program is proven to be highly successful and at a time when this industry needs all the help it can get.
Click here to sign the petition asking the Governor to fund the New York State's Television and Film Tax Credits and save our jobs!
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY! THANK YOU!!!!!

Third, Join the Facebook Group: Save New York State's TV and Film Tax Credits

I work mainly as a background actor for the moment, but most others have much more substantial jobs.

"I‘m unclear what you’re doing here. You’re lacking in energy and focus… I don’t believe what you’re saying. Do you? You probably haven’t spent much time on your scene...Let’s move on, shall we? Next!”

The class stood motionless, the mood shattered by the sound of our classmate’s heart breaking. I trembled listening to those career-ending words from our professor, fearing to be “next.” How do you console someone the teacher just pronounced dead-on-arrival over a monologue he had been preparing for four weeks?

Do you fear that someday someone might tell you the “truth” about your acting? That you have no talent? That you should study accounting instead? (Lynda Blair Vernalia, N2Arts Correspondent).

Yup, I definitely know how discouraging this type of feedback can be (though I've never had teacher or coach act dismissive towards me). Nevertheless, it sucks to think you suck.

I'm a member of a theatre company (MCTC) that has very VERY good actors, and each Tuesday night, they have a studio session where company members present scenes and monologues, and I've been anxious about presenting, because I want to be good — I want to be very good.

However — I just haven't been (relative to everyone else).

This is one of the more serious obstacles, I think, for any actor trying to pursue a serious career: having confidence and believing in yourself. It's easy when you have a great night or are on a winning streak. But what about when you "suck," (or think you do) and you're not winning? That's the challenge!

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential. (Winston Churchill).

A negatively trap for me is thinking that if I had any talent at all, I would never have any trouble. I'd be great right now & all the time. I compare myself to my ideal of a great (or just a "good enough") actor, or I compare myself to people I know who are great.

For me, it's helpful to remember (even though it feels like I'm hanging all my dreams and hopes — my very life — on a wisp, a thread) those times when I've done a great job with a monologue. That's what I'm capable of, my current "best."

What I'm contending with, then, on any given audition, is my "average" performance. It's no different than professional sports players: they have good days, great days, and bad days though on "average" they're pretty damn good and they're consistent (i.e., their performance level isn't all over the place in terms of quality). This is what it means to achieve mastery and professionalism.

And it takes time, effort, commitment to get good, to get great. It just does (for most people who are eventually successful).

Joe Montello tells this story in The Perfect Audition Monologue:

A favorite monologue of mine is from Angels in America. When I first read it, I was overwhelmed . . . it was [like] reading another language. It's convoluted and complex. Tony Kusher said I should approach it as simply a technical exercise in rhythm and pace. [He continues, it was] like learning a dance. Take it slow at first, and after you've memorized the steps, just go with it. It may feel terrifying at first, but it's very musical, and you'll see it'll just take you. When I finally got it and was performing it, it was exhilarating! And once I trusted that I knew what I was doing, it became effortless.

When I finally got it . . . So he didn't just "get it" right off the bat. It took time. Now, he knew how to work (and Tony gave him some terrific advice), but it took time.

So that's the trick to getting better: know how to work and give it time.

P. S. In case you're in a downward spiral and thinking of giving up or quitting just because you're in that downward spiral, I recommend Rosabeth Moss Kanter's terrific Confidence: How Winning Streaks & Losing Streaks Begin & End.

"Confidence" Product Description From Amazon
From the boardroom to the locker room to the living room—how winners become winners . . . and stay that way.

Is success simply a matter of money and talent? Or is there another reason why some people and organizations always land on their feet, while others, equally talented, stumble again and again?

There’s a fundamental principle at work—the vital but previously unexamined factor called confidence—that permits unexpected people to achieve high levels of performance through routines that activate talent. Confidence explains:

• Why the University of Connecticut women’s basketball team continues its winning ways even though recent teams lack the talent of their predecessors
• Why some companies are always positively perceived by employees, customers, Wall Street analysts, and the media while others are under a perpetual cloud
• How a company like Gillette or a team like the Chicago Cubs ends a losing streak and breaks out of a circle of doom
• The lessons a politician such as Nelson Mandela, who resisted the temptation to take revenge after being released from prison and assuming power, offers for leaders in both advanced democracies and trouble spots like the Middle East

From the simplest ball games to the most complicated business and political situations, the common element in winning is a basic truth about people: They rise to the occasion when leaders help them gain the confidence to do it.

Confidence is the new theory and practice of success, explaining why success and failure are not mere episodes but self-perpetuating trajectories. Rosabeth Moss Kanter shows why organizations of all types may be brimming with talent but not be winners, and provides people in leadership positions with a practical program for either maintaining a winning streak or turning around a downward spiral.

Confidence is based on an extraordinary investigation of success and failure in companies such as Continental Airlines, Seagate, and Verizon and sports teams such as the University of North Carolina women’s soccer team, New England Patriots, and Philadelphia Eagles, as well as schools, health care, and politics.

Packed with brilliant, practical ideas such as “powerlessness corrupts” and the “timidity of mediocrity,” Confidence provides fresh thinking for perpetuating winning streaks and ending losing streaks in all facets of life—from the factors that can make or break corporations and governments to the keys for successful relationships in the workplace or at home.

The film school within Tisch has a course entitled "Directing the Actor" in which directors choose a scene to workshop, cast the scene and bring in the actors twice throughout the semester to run mock rehearsals in front of the class and professor, who then give feedback after the rehearsal regarding what techniques worked, what didn't work, what the difficulties were, etc. The goals are to teach the directing students about the actor-director relationship and provide the student director with strategies on how to speak to actors beforehand and on set. They start off reading 5-6 books, starting with Stanislavski's An Actor Prepares, Judith Weston's Directing Actors, Uta Hagen Respect for Acting and Meisner Adler and Strasberg methodology.

I few weeks ago, I auditioned to be one of the actors. I was accepted and I found the experience quite eye opening.

At 3:15pm, the director and the other actor and I were called into the room, walked to a table in the front of the room and started to rehearse.

We read through the scene and then talked about the first "beat." And then we did it again, but this time I did it on my feet. We then talked a bit more, clarifying what was going on. It was the first time this was really useful for me because the direction was geared, up to that point, to “cleaning” up some of the beats or parts, making them more clear. The “actor” really does need an outside eye for this – you can’t “act”/rehearse AND “evaluate” at the same time how a whole multi-actor scene is going. You clearly need a director for this.

Then it got very interesting. After we started working more, and I was just taking it slow, trying as best I could to not “perform” but really discover, the discussion about the "beats" became more and more detailed, along the lines of ‘what are doing,’ ‘what’s going on at this or that point,’ etc.

The professor, Denny Lawrence, then stepped in to comment saying all the questions and details were great, but the danger or mistake was asking the actor how they felt about things before they got there. He said things like “she can’t know how she feels about that until that thing happens.” It was important not to try to go for a specific result, especially too soon. Actors, he said, need time to discover what’s going on and rehearsals shouldn't’t get ahead of where they are at any one moment.

This is something Deborah Carlson of Word of Mouth Studio first pointed out to me over two years ago now, and I'm amazed that I keep hearing the same advice from experienced professional directors and other experienced professional actors.

It's fundamental, and it's at the heart of creating a performance that's "moment to moment." Famed acting teaching (and now also a director), Pasty Rodenburg, makes almost the identical point in this rehearsal, i.e., she says: She doesn't know she falling in love until she does. She's just working it out:

I've worked with many directors, most relatively inexperienced, just learning, learning through "doing" it, just the way I'm trying to learn acting by acting, and most inexperienced directors I've found don't quite get this. They either have an idea of what the "character" is doing/feeling before they get into rehearsal or they want the actor to quickly decide on some specific actions and intentions, and then they want to "see" those specific actions or intentions (or something better than what the actor-director decided on), and it's an approach that puts the cart before the house.

If one is working correctly, each moment unfolds out of the next, and the "intentions" and "actions" and "feelings" are all there but not because you or the director has decided what they should be beforehand, even if those decisions turn out ultimately to be correct. That's not the point of rehearsal. If your goals in a performance are specific "intentions" or actions at specific points, your attention almost necessarily has to be forward in time, in anticipation; it has to be "there," on that "target," ahead of yourself, were you are right now -- and that's not the job.

Holland Taylor talks about good and bad directors, and says the worse directors sees the actor as something to move around and wants some end result without having any idea of the process that creates those results:

It's an amazing modern dance work in one act choreography by Martha Graham, music by Dello Joio, set by Noguchi, costumes by Martha Graham, and lighting by Rosenthal.

It premiered 8 May 1955 by the Martha Graham Dance Company at the ANTA Theater, New York, with Margolies, Birch, Hinkson, Turney, and Ross. A dance portrait of Joan of Arc. Joan looks back over her life in a series of danced dialogues with her guiding spirit, the archangel Michael, and with three figures who represent different aspects of her nature—maid, warrior, and martyr.

At the work's close, Joan is transfigured and finally takes her place among the angles & saints . . .

There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, It is not your business to determine how good it is ... it is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work. You have to keep open and aware directly to the urges that motivate you. Keep the channel open. ~ Martha Graham (American Dancer and Choreographer, 1894-1991).

From Peter Boettke of The Austrian Economists blog:

Practice Doesn't Make Perfect, Perfect Practice Makes Perfect

I've been reading Geoff Colvin's Talent is Overrated: What Really Separates World-Class Performers from Everybody Else. The basic idea is that success is neither a function of genetic uniqueness nor hard-work. It is instead a function of taking the endowments one has, and refining one's craft through deliberate practice. The defining characteristic of the deliberative approach to practice are: (1) designed to specifically improve performance; (2) can be repeated; (3) provides continuous feedback; (4) is demanding mentally; and (5) is hard and pushes us continously beyond our comfort zone. Top performers are detail oriented and never satisfied.

My favoirte lines from the book are:

Excellent performers judge themselves differently from the way other people do. They're more specific, just as they are when they set goals and strategies. ... The best performers judge themselves against a standard that's relevant for what they're trying to achieve. Sometimes they compare their performance with their own personal best; sometimes they compare with the performance of competitors they're facing or expect to face; sometimes they compare with the best known performance by anyone in the field. Any of those make sense; the key, as in all deliberate practice, is to choose a comparison that stretches you just beyond your current limits. ... If you were pushing yourself appropriately and have evaluated yourself rigorously, then you will have identified errors that you make. A critical part of self-evaluation is deciding what caused the errors. Average performers believe their errors were caused by factors outside their control. ... Top performers, by contrast, believe they are responsible for their errors.

World-class performers focus relentlessly on their own performance and take full responsiblity for errors and misteps. No external factors are sought for explanation of failure to meet goals.

And finally, what this all means is that "There is in fact a path leading from the state of our own abilities to that of the greats. The path is extremely long and demanding, only a few will follow it all the way to its end." This journey begins and ends with following the principles of deliberate practice.

Talent is Overrated is a quick read, but for those who want to explore the topic in more depth academically Colvin provides a 10 page annotated bibliography of his sources by chapter. I hope all my students will take the time out to read this book.

I began acting in the spring of 2004, and my second performance was with Titus Walker, director of the Ujamaa Black Theater.

Most actors, myself included, are often afraid to "go there," to really open up to powerful emotional circumstances. For reasons I can't explain, Mr. Walker, had a particular talent for getting an actor to do this. I don't know how he did it, but he did.

Some actors were too afraid to walk through that door, but — again, for reasons I can't explain — I was able to do it. In fact, this is what Mr. Walker demanded. But he somehow brought you to the door, to the threshold, gave you an opportunity to see what you could do — you only needed to take a chance, a deep breath, and jump through.

And for that, I will always be eternally grateful. I'll never forget my experience with Mr. Walker and the Ujamaa Black Theater.

From the New York Amsterdam News:

Titus Walker—director of the Ujamaa Black Theater, producer, actor, playwright and activist—passed away on April 7 of colon cancer. He was 54. A native New Yorker, Walker was born on September 12, 1954, in Harlem Hospital. After spending his early life in Harlem, he eventually found himself on Summit Avenue in the Highbridge section of the Bronx in the 1960s. As a politically active student at Medgar Evers College, he started writing monologues and plays that laid the foundation for the Ujamaa Black Theater in the mid- to late-1970s. Ujamaa means “working together” in Swahili.

There’s a big breakdown between what is happening with the art and what’s happening with the reality of the Black community, said Walker in an interview with Columbia Television News several years ago. Sometimes, all you need is one person to say, ‘I see things differently.’

Dad is a pioneer of Black theater, said Tajmal Walker, son of Titus. He taught a curriculum of Black pride and Black independence.

That independence is what made Walker hold onto his own business, stressing the importance of ownership. Even today, a lot of people gave up their businesses. Jay-Z gave up ROCAWEAR. Russell Simmons gave up Def Jam. He still held on to his independence, said Tajmal, referring to his father. A lot of it has to do with his nationalistic values, like Black ownership; some of those fundamentals that we might take for granted.

Tajmal will take over duties at Ujamaa. “I plan to continue the legacy of Dad,” said Tajmal. “We just had a tributary performance, which was basically a collage of most of his works. “Before Tyler Perry had, ‘The Diary of a Mad Black Woman’ there was ‘For The Love of My Black Woman’ by my father,” said Tajmal. “Spike Lee had ‘Malcolm X.’ My father had a tribute to Malcolm X, being a student under Betty Shabazz. Conceptually, he’s the originator.” Some of his other works under the Ujamaa umbrella include “Please Don’t Take My Rhythm and Blues” and “Never Walk Alone with God.”

On Friday, Unity Funeral Chapels Inc. will hold a wake from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. and services from 12 to 2 p.m. Walker will be buried in Maple Grove cemetery in, Hackensack, N.J., following a dove release. Unity is located on 2352 8th Avenue, New York, NY.

A strong, passionate voiced silenced much, much too soon . . .

Video: autobiographical black broadway director, producer, actor. Pioneer African American theater, film maker:

A while ago I submitted myself to audition for a web-isode, but they wanted a video of me reading the sides. Also, it wasn't just "sides" that they sent me — it was about 10 pages from a scene.

This posed a couple of problems. 1) I needed to find a reader and 2) I needed to video everything.

At first, I was just going to skip it, but then I read the sides, and — it was quite well written! So I decide to make the effort.

I talked my good friend Ivana into reading with me, and her roommate Lee agree to video it.

Despite being 10 pages, for some reason I thought foolishly that we'd only have to read though and rehearse it once or twice (I guess I didn't want to take up too much of her time since this was a favor for me), but, Ivana, bless her heart, made us rehearse for a good 30 - 40 minutes, and I think it paid off!

(So lesson #1 pour moi: I sometimes underestimate the time it takes to really be prepared, or — worse — I sometimes decide it's OK to NOT be really prepared. As embarrassing as it is to admit that in public, if I want to be a successful professional actor, and I do, then I henceforth declare and affirm to be fully prepared, over-prepared if need be, for EVERYTHING!).

OK -- here's the setup:

Janet Olsen was having a bad day from her morning shower to the drive home from work. When she finally went to bed she thought she had put it all behind her. until an intruder in her apartment woke her up. It was then Janet knew "Enough is Enough!" This is an offbeat comedy featuring one principle location and two actors... A young lady who has reached the boiling point and a hapless young thief (Bill) who discovers that he has definitely picked the wrong apartment to burglarize.

Overall I'm reasonably happy with what I did, but there is still my problem of doing to much and trying too hard. A common failing, right? If something is important, it's natural to work really really hard, but often that's exactly what trips you up. Ease, focus, and relaxation is what I'm working for. Electronic engineers have a concept called "signal to noise ratio," and the goal in all engineering projects is to build devices with a high signal to noise ratio (i.e., lots of signal with little, if any, noise). Doing to much and trying too hard throws "noise" into the performance.

A second goal for me is starting strong and clear, i.e., starting out on the right foot. I'm getting better at this, but still it's a challenge. For example, here's how the scene starts:

Scene:
Cut to Janet in bed. Her eyes open and she realizes something is amiss. She opens the drawer of the bedside table and takes something out. Then she quietly puts on her robe and walks from the bedroom . Peeking out she sees Bill in the living room.

CU- Janet's face, Surprised

JANET (Whispered):

Oh, shit!

She reaches around the corner to the light switch and flips it. Bill is surprised and freezes.

As you can see, I didn't look surprised and I didn't freeze. It's things like that that weaken an audition, and all the worse if it happens right at the start of the audition. Perhaps the auditionars will be forgiving . . .

The Final Straw
Janet - Ivana Popovic, Bill - Christopher Calliope

Last week I had an audition on a Saturday at Pearl Studios for a summer paid acting job that may tour in the fall. Because there was pay, I decided I'd better get help with the audition (it was cold reading sides).

I had a coaching session the night before, and it went well, but then near the end of the session, I started freaking out — I was absolutely convinced that I was wrong for the role. Not because of my look or "type," but just because I thought how I saw the "character" and how I was reading for it was not at all what they would looking for.

In short, I had a very clear idea of what they were looking for — and I wasn't it . . . or so I thought . . .

After the audition, e-mailed my coach, Deborah Carlson:

Hi Deb,

thank you so much for working so hard with me on the audition. It went very well (though I haven’t heard anything yet). By Saturday afternoon, after a good night’s sleep, I felt much better & more confident about the audition, and it was FUN to do. I’m not quite sure how I talked myself into thinking I was completely wrong for it before I even tried, but there you go: I forgot all my first principles and the attitude one needs to have before facing a challenge. Even if ultimately it turns out that I’m not right – so what? You helped me do exactly what I should be doing, i.e., “if you prepare, the opportunities will take care of themselves.” (John O’Hurley). Thank you Deborah!!!

Cheers,
     Christopher

Convinced I wasn't right for the part, but happy I did I best, I just moved on, but then on Monday, I got a call from the producer  who had some questions for me. I called back, we talked, and — I couldn't believe it, they offered me the part of a young Charles Darwin in the NY Hall of Science's Charlie and Kiwi's Evolutionary Adventure!

The adventure begins May 23 . . . and runs weekends, 4 performance/week, throughout the summer. This job will pay about 2/3rds of my monthly rent throughout the summer!!! Whoo Hoo!!!

I guess I should be that pessimistic for ALL my auditions from now on if that’s the way works!! 

The play is based on a children's story and cartoon by the same name.

It's a short play, but I had a heck of time being word perfect when trying to get off-book.

It took me a day or two to realize why I was having trouble. It was because I didn't grasp precisely enough what the character was thinking at each point through the play. In acting, you're always communicating clear specific thoughts, and these are usually in the service of the character's wants and needs.

Because the text was taken from a picture book and a cartoon, the images carried a lot of the meaning and specifics of the story, i.e., you can see what the characters are talking about. Normally, in theatre, there are no external images or pictures (e.g., Shakespeare), so the language has to support everything though the use of literary devices (Shakespeare again is the best example). From a production point of view, this presented no problem because the production includes most of the images from the original sources.

However, for me, the form of the writing created a special challenge. In short, more than usual, I had be very careful with the text, by being clear about what my characters knows and what he’s trying to figure out, and what he realizes. I had to "know," in detail, the specific behind what I was talking about. One always must do this, but for this specific text, it was a surprising challenges because of the very nature of the play.

After really working though the text and the story, I realized the story is based specifically on the evolution of "thinking" Darwin went though when coming up with the "theory" of evolution. I'm not sure who the original author was, but I suspect the author had an in depth knowledge of both evolution and it's history because it's represented quite concisely in the story.

I'm not a scientist, and I don't know much about evolution, but by being very careful about what my character is struggling to both understand and communicate in details and specifics, I started to understand how the real Charles Darwin came to realize how something like "evolution" created the diversity of life we see around us. It really is an eloquent theory, and powerfully explanatory.

What I Learned About the Theory of Evolution from Playing Charles Darwin

The story is a about a boy, Charlie, who wants to know 1) why a Kiwi is a bird and 2) why a Kiwi is so different from what we think of a bird. The kiwi is quite unique among birds – it is so different from other birds that the late, great palaeontologist Stephen Jay Gould called it an “honorary mammal”. In a dream, Charlie's visited by a young Charles Darwin, and with the aid of time machine, they're able able to "see" how Kiwis evolved through time.

200 years ago, Darwin didn't have a time machine to help him, so, for the story, I realized that this must have been the "evolution" of his own thinking about Evolution:

Darwin, and everyone in his time, understood and accepted the mechanism of biological inheritance, and they understood and accepted mutations and variations in genes (i.e., beak length), but “evolution” was just a hypotheses because of the time scales involved.

It made “sense” that environment could “select” for certain traits, and over a long, Long, LONG time, “life” would change in adaptive ways, and in the process of adaptation, new, emergent features would arise.

“Feathers,” at first, had utility for keeping animals warmer than other like animals in the same environment, and the longer the feathers, the warmer the animal, and the better they survived. However, at some point, those animals took flight. That was new! The universe didn't “give” animals features so that they could fly. It just started out as a way to keep them warm. Flight was an accident, but that turned out to have even more utility in terms of survival.

I don’t know if there’s a God, but the universe is definitely a self-organizing “intelligent” system. Evolution is the very expression of that. And this self-organizing principle is iterative and recursive! From the universe, to our bodies, our brains, our cells, our genes, our DNA, the same self-organizing “intelligence” principle is at work at those different scales, but, it all works out to create exactly what needs to be here – us, exactly as we are!

So, my character knows about inheritance, and he observes change over time, and he 1) sees evolution in action, as he suspected, and 2) he sees how certain behaviors and features, like flight, came about in completely unexpected and unanticipated ways! That’s the excitement and adventure, and I communicate that to Charlie and the audience as I’m seeing these things and experiencing these insights. That’s the play — Charlie and Kiwi's Evolutionary Adventure!

And I didn't’ have to pick up a history textbook to get that inheritance is all Darwin knew when he was first formulating the theory of evolution. I got all that from how the play was written!

Here's a story about a Kiwi who's dream it is to fly:

A Kiwi Wish - For more amazing video clips, click here

Despite (or because of) my summer acting job and the economy (what economy!?), I been trying to take a démarche in my life and career, but . . . I just haven't quite felt like doing it.

I don't have a day job -- I'm just freelancing, but I'm not really even doing that. I'm more napping and drinking coffee, listening to children playing outside my window and falling asleep watching dreamy white summer clouds pass overhead, or while listening to the rain. I make my to-do-lists and then forget about them and day dream about ex girlfriends, tying to remember . . .

After I got my summer acting job, I really, Really started to relax in terms of auditioning. Like I'm not auditioning at all.

I think I've let a certain amount of, not really negativity, not really even ennui (a very rare state for me), but a certain amount of "neutrality" slip into my thinking and imagining of my future. Perhaps I'm taking a bit a break, pulling back inside, but I miss my usual joie de vivre.

I think I do have a bit of fear about the future, afraid to really put my life (career included) into forward gear. I've gotten surprisingly good at hiding, and like a child hiding from a parent, a part of me seems to take real delight in hiding from reality, as if there's really places I can go that reality can't find me, and I'm getting away with something, like running away to join a circus -- but I'm not. I'm just pretending that I am.

In my dreams, I have this big suitcase with me, carrying it everywhere, and it's full of clothes and computer stuff, and I don't care about any of it. It's like it's very old stuff, or it belongs to another time. I have no use for it or desire for it, and I keep losing it. But then I'm struggling to go back and find it, as if I don't know what will happen to me without it.

I'm going to pick up one of the best motivation books around: Oh, the Places You'll Go!, by Dr. Seuss

It’s a treatise on doubt, procrastination, loneliness and overcoming your fears in a refreshingly brief 600 words. It may look like a children’s book, but the advice in this Dr. Seuss classic is universal: When you pick yourself up after every setback, success is “98 and 3⁄4 percent guaranteed.”

I think there's a circus calling me from somewhere . . .