When children are young, everything is new and exciting. Babies and toddlers are very curious and attend intently to their environment: picking up a cheerio, watching a bug on the sidewalk, pulling up to stand next to a chair, building a tower of blocks. Studying a piece of lint on the floor can fully engage a young child’s attention for anywhere from 30 seconds to 5 minutes, and then the novelty of something new becomes attractive. For that period of time, however, the young child’s brain is fully engaged in learning.

Over time, our brain begins to notice patterns. What was once fresh and novel becomes familiar and routine. What can you do today to intentionally invite (bring) novelty into your day?

Learn more about how novelty motivates us and what that means for learning, by reading Novelty and the Brain: Why new things make us feel so good

All of us at SelfDesign hope you have a great day!

People play many roles in their lives, some by choice and some by chance. Sometimes we head down a path and things work out more or less as we had envisioned them. Other times, we set out to do one thing and find that we end up doing something totally different. And then there are the times when we are playing the roles that we desired, only to learn that we had not really understood what was required.

Many of the roles we own for ourselves come from personal observations. Others come from the reflections of those who know us. Think about how you feel about the roles you identify with and the roles others identify for you.

Which roles do you choose?

Roles can be both freeing and limiting. There are times when a role in a family frees a partner from a responsibility that another takes on. In Monica’s home, for example, she’s the cleaner and her partner is the declutterer. Between them, all of the basic chores get done. In other homes, one partner may take on the role of indoor household manager while the other takes on the role of outdoor household manager. 

It’s also important to be flexible when taking on roles, since they may change from time to time. Expertise and interest may make some roles seem more obvious than others, although the requirements of the moment often help all of us to broaden our perspectives.

Think about the roles your children play in your family. Do you think those roles free them or constrict them? If you asked them if they wanted to play different roles, what would they choose?

How do the roles shift in your family?

Roles for parents change from day to day, depending on the requirements of work schedules, both outside of and in the home. Likewise, roles for children vary with how much structure has been planned into a given day. The “must do’s” and the “should’s” set up powerful expectations. Some are the result of very effective conditioning during the parents’ own youth and some are the result of conscious decision-making. For all of us, the roles we choose are often more satisfying than the roles we feel we have fallen into.

Children are often less effective learners within an authoritarian relationship, however that is how most of us experienced formal education. Language within a public school is often used to establish a hierarchy. “Listening” to the teacher frequently means obeying rather than hearing and processing for yourself. “Respect” can be used to characterize those who follow rules and not those who ask their own questions.

In a paradigm of mutual respect, however, teachers and children can work together to help make learning more relevant and enjoyable. At home, too, sharing leadership roles from time to time can help make sure everyone’s needs are met.

Historically, there has been a widespread inequality of wealth and knowledge in the world. In these days of easy access to vast amounts of information, there no longer needs to be inequality in opportunities to learn.

Knowledge was once restricted to monks and acolytes; later it was shared by princes and tutors; and today, while schooling is almost universal, the narrow nature of the funnel channeling information to learners limits what and how they learn. With the relatively recent rise of the internet and instant search capabilities, access to information is now ubiquitous. After 244 years, Encyclopedia Brittanica recently announced it would cease publishing its books.

Learning paradigms are changing. Devon Girard, one of the students from Virtual High, said it eloquently, “Teachers need to shift into the role of a knowledge navigator — guiding and supporting their pupils in their own curiosities.”

At SelfDesign, with personalized learning plans, mentors, and learning consultants to guide the way, learners have the opportunity to self-direct their learning in an environment of freedom and respect. Conventional high school teachers often complain about how disengaged students are and the lack of resources available to keep their interest. However, older teens in SelfDesign, working with mentors on areas of their own choosing, often study for longer hours and with greater intensity and yet reflect on this time as engaging, interesting, and enjoyable.

They may be organizing a TEDx event, re-engineering a “Veggie bus,” participating in a small group learning experience in history, or diving into a co-created independent study on math, legos, literature, or robotics. The learners find the topics meaningful and relevant and they can stay engaged in the process of learning because their curiosities, talents, and skills are nurtured and not set aside to be pursued after a one size fits all curriculum is covered.

What can you do in your family and community to promote access to resources and knowledge?

What happens if you are one of those parents or partners who simply doesn’t seem able to relax? Perhaps a simple, quick break would be the answer.

We live in a world that likes things quick, so how about this? Take in a deep breath and slowly count to 3, then breathe out to the same count of 3. Do it 2 more times… 3 cubed… 3 x 3 x 3.

You can do this at a red light or even a stop sign (as long as no one is behind you)… perhaps in the shower or bathroom or even at the kitchen sink. Just take a moment for yourself.

Give yourself a time out or plan the time in your day. We all love a long vacation or even a few days to “get out of town.” For many folks, though, this isn’t a possibility.

What can you do to build relaxation into your day? Here is one idea, explore 5 free mindfulness apps to help you to stop and breathe.

Many parents have shared with Monica that they feel they are barely one step away from being totally overwhelmed every day. She asks, “How about taking a few minutes to relax every day?” and their responses range from hysterical laughter to disbelief. They say their days are so packed that there is little room for rest, let alone relaxation. Other than the occasional vacation, they run from morning to night. It’s work, kids, meals, and laundry, and then fall into bed, in order to get up and do it all over again. 

The neurotransmitters in their brains that transmit messages are on constant overload. Adrenaline is flowing and their bodies are in stressful states for much of the day. It is almost impossible to learn when we are on overload, so we need to rest and relax regularly, if we are to be lifelong learners and be present with our children, partners and other important people in our lives. Relaxing doesn’t need to take a LOT of time; you can start small. For some, it can be petting the dog or cat for 10 minutes in the morning; for others it is meditating or reading the sports pages or a chapter of a novel. It can be as simple as consciously taking a pause a few times a day for a deep breath. 

What did you do today to rest and relax?

Pausing During the Day

It’s important to rest and relax every day to keep ourselves in a resourceful state. If we barrel through the day without any pauses, we create a jumble of experiences and information to sort later.

When we sleep at night, our brains process and consolidate the latest information and experiences. Those periodic moments of relaxation during the day allow us to organize our thoughts a bit and have a calmer night. Without them, we restlessly toss and turn as we try to make sense of it all.

Music without little pauses is just a cacophony of sound. The pauses create the rhythm and allow us to enjoy the melody. Likewise, the little pauses in our daily life provide us with a rhythm that allows us to create meaning from the experiences of our day.

A pause can be a way to return to your center. Inhaling and exhaling deep breaths is certainly one way we’ve discussed. Looking at the pictures of your family on your desk, gazing at your kids’ drawings on the fridge, staring up at the full moon at night, or sharing a 20-second hug with a loved one are all examples of other ways to pause during the day.

“SelfDesign is not theoretical, it is something that you live! It is organic and fluid and a way of being able to support a deepening of learning.” – Marla Renn

Learning consultant Marla Renn had the opportunity to spend two weeks with a SelfDesign Global family who live on the Pacific Coast of Jalisco in Mexico. Marla was working with two learners aged 14 and 6 for four hours a day as their learning consultant. Some might even call her the “Mary Poppins of SelfDesigning.”

Initiating The Learning Journey

Marla began the learning journey by meeting on Skype with the kids, their long term learning consultant Monica Cochran, and their parents for a few sessions to get to know a bit about the context of their learning:  What had they explored in the past? What did they want to explore during their time together? This allowed her to arrive more prepared to meet the family where they are in their learning journey. Marla shares, “so much of the work that we do is supporting the parents and engaging them in the SelfDesign process.”

Exploring Passions

Marla engaged the two learners by first exploring their passions.The eldest said she was interested in music and performance arts, the youngest had a passion for superheroes and dinosaurs.  Marla believes “there is no limit when you bring imagination to entrance points and connect it to other areas of learning.” She began working with the eldest on her goal of working on her language skills, so they began exploring movement, talking about different modalities of performance art, and building drama-based learning activities that involved exploring the rhythm and cadence of both music and language.

Connecting Passions and Goals

 The eldest learner also had a goal to master the times tables, specifically moving them from short term memory into long term memory. They worked together to build a group of colour coded number cards which they laid out to so that they could see the pattern each one created on the 100 board.  Then they would play a multi-sensory game in which they covered up the times tables and said them aloud,  traced the numbers with their fingers, closed their eyes to visualize the numbers with the mind’s eye, and finally recited them with their eyes open. Marla recalls the level of pride and accomplishment that she witnessed in the learner’s face when she realized that she could, indeed, memorize her times tables, “it was moving and inspiring.”  After Marla had returned home, the learner extended the learning by creating a rap song of the 8 times table and performing it for family and friends

With the youngest learner,  the goal was to work on reading and writing.  Since he loves drama, storytelling and action, they arranged his favourite toys: a dinosaur, a few superheroes and other stuffed favourites and cards with sounds on them around the room. Then through dramatic play they created exciting  stories which Marla enthusiastically scribed.  He was thrilled to read aloud his stories.  After reading, he would  run around the room to locate and match the sound cards to the sounds he heard in the story. Later in the day, he was so proud to read his stories to his family at the dinner table.

By the end of the week the youngest was eager to begin setting up and creating his writing journeys, and he began to recognize the sounds and words and take on writing some of his favourite words, such as “spiderman” from the stories they had created. By Marla joining him in his current favourite imaginative play, they co-created a rich reading and writing learning experience.

Another rich learning experience that stood out for Marla was initiated by the learner himself. He had given Marla a recipe he had created, written in a combination of pictures and unique symbols.  Marla appreciated  his hard work and got curious and asked: What is a recipe? They explored the notion that recipes have to be able to be recreated, and together Marla and both kids discussed how this was similar to the scientific method and science experiments that can be re-created. They then began measuring ingredients, creating and documenting his recipe using more conventional symbols

While the dough was rising, they watched a video together on how to make bread and explored the fermentation process. Next, Marla helped the kids prepare yeast and sugar in a water bottle and put a balloon on top to capture the carbon dioxide. The kids enjoyed watching the balloon expand. As they held the balloon, they hypothesized that this balloon was heavier than regular balloons. This, in turn, led them to explore and discuss the elements on the periodic table. So much learning  about scientific method, chemistry, and physics emerged organically in the process of making home made bread.   Marla reflected, “If I had created a lesson plan with a pre determined outcome,  I wouldn’t have been able to do all this….the learning emerged and developed  out of spontaneity, creativity and flexibility.  As the learning consultant, I just have to show up strongly, actively, and ready to engage.”

Marla’s experience was a unique opportunity to provide in-person consulting with a family. She was able to model the SelfDesign process for a family, so that they can continue unfolding their learning journey together. Her experience also reveals how the SelfDesign philosophy can be applied to diverse cultures, backgrounds, languages and previous educational experiences.

To read more about Marla, check out her learning consultant bio, here! 

The relationship we have with ourselves plays an important role in how we help our children learn. Since they learn so much from what they see us do, we need to keep ourselves in a positive, resourceful state to do our best with them.

Sometimes we talk with ourselves in ways we wouldn’t talk with a friend. A mom shared with me that she tells herself that if she doesn’t do xxxxx, she’ll be a loser. I observed another mom in a grocery store parking lot banging on her car and saying over and over, when she locked the keys in the car as her young daughter watched nearby, “How could you be so stupid? When will you ever learn not to be so stupid?”

In a quiet moment, reflect on what it would it feel like to talk with yourself with a bit more compassion.  Sometimes it helps to  take a deep breath and imagine, “What would I say to a friend who was feeling bad because he made a mistake? Would I berate him when he’s already feeling bad or would I listen and offer a helpful ear?”

What impact would modeling self-compassion have on your relationship with your children? 

We understand how valuable it is for young people to be a part of a community that shares values and beliefs about the achievement of goals in learning and life. SelfDesign’s learning community is a network of relationships based upon authentic connection and sharing. Learning from the experiences of others enables all of us to expand our knowledge and skills.  There is great wisdom in the community. Each member can reach out to ask for help and we can allow ourselves and our children to learn from the collective wisdom of the community.

Marilee Sprenger once said that “humans are social creatures and learning is a social activity.”  Life itself is also a social activity.  In addition to being knowledgeable, self-motivated, able to generate good ideas, and implement them, becoming successful in meeting your goals often requires team work, positive relationship skills, and the ability to work through setbacks.

Who is in your network of relationships? Who are the people who will help your children maximize their potential?

If you are interested in joining our learning community here at SelfDesign Global, please contact us! 

As you read through this declaration, what is your first reaction? Do you believe that all learners, regardless of their age or stage, inherently have these rights? As you reflect upon your own education, were these rights granted to you? 

Declaration of Learner’s Rights and Responsibilities

1. As a learner I have the right to allow my own experience and enthusiasm to guide my learning.

2. As a learner I have the right to choose and direct the nature and conditions of my learning experience. As a learner I am responsible for the results I create.

3. As a learner I have the right to perfect the skills to be a conscious, self confident and resourceful individual.

4. As a learner I have the right to be held in respect. It is my responsibility to hold others in respect.

5. As a learner I have the right to a nurturing and supportive family and community. My family and community have the right and responsibility to be my primary resource.

6. As a learner I have the right and responsibility to enter into relationships based on mutual choice, collaborative effort, challenge and mutual gain.

7. As a learner I have the right to be exposed to a diverse array of ideas, experiences, environments, and possibilities. This exposure is the responsibility of myself, my parents and my mentors.

8. As a learner I have the right to evaluate my learning according to my own sensibilities. I have the right to request and the responsibility to include the evaluations of my mentors.

9. As a learner I have the right to co-create decisions that involve and concern me.

10. As a learner I have the right and responsibility to openly consider and respect the ideas of others, whether or not I accept these ideas.

11. As a learner I have the right to enter a learning organization which offers, spiritual, intellectual, emotional, and physical support, and operates in an open and inclusive manner.

12. As a learner I have the right of equal access to resources, information and funding.

Siegel also said that it “is all about how you’re sharing the focus of attention with that other person. Which means how you communicate both with the words you say and your non-verbal communication, which includes your eye contact, your facial expressions, your tone of voice, your posture, your gestures, the timing of what you say, and the intensity of what you say.”  We often call this being attuned to another.

You can listen to more of Siegel’s work at:  http://library.fora.tv/2009/06/30/Dan_Siegel_The_Brain_and_the_Developing_Mind

Learning in relationship is such a powerful way of learning. As you go through your day, notice how your relationship with your child or children enhances their learning.