The Semi-Retired Drama Queen

Change of plans... NOT retiring

2011-05-11T14:19:00.003+08:00

So much for wanting to grow up and retire from all the drama soon... But life's little drama continue and the Semi-Retired Drama Queen has postponed her retirement plans... She shall remain semi-retired for a little bit more.

Finally retiring?

2011-03-15T00:51:00.002+08:00

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen is thinking of retiring soon.

She thinks that it is time to grow up and here's a link to her other blog:

http://carrieblueshoes.wordpress.com/

GOTH baby!

2011-02-28T00:02:00.014+08:00

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen thinks that she has developed a certain phobia for babies in stroller! The kind of anxiety that sends chills down her spine each time she comes across a stroller with a baby in it! The reason: she spotted the scariest looking baby she thinks she'd ever come across in this lifetime (in a stroller) this afternoon! She almost scream in shock and was bracing herself to run 200km/h!

Why? She thought she saw CHUCKY, smilling at her from inside a blue stroller! However, it was not Chucky in the stroller. It was a GOTHIC baby! A baby with thick eye lashes and wore cosmetics, Gothic style -- think pale face, purple eye shadow, thick black khol (eye-liner), dark blusher and deep red lipstick! Disturbing, no?

P.s: She still gets flashes of the Goth baby in her mind...

Flirting is a Crime...

2011-02-22T13:07:00.014+08:00

...when you are a socially awkward geek

...when your glasses are 2 inches thick that it is almost impossible for the person you are flirting with to see your eyes

...when you have atrocious pick-up lines

...when you lack knowledge

Here is why...

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen was at a good friend's birthday party last week with the Queen. As they were having a reasonably good time catching up with a few mutual friends, a five-ft-tall geek who has gained liquid courage (courage after a few drinks) interrupted their conversation. His spectacles were so thick, one can hardly see his eyes. The geek then started hitting on the Queen...

Liquid Courage Geek: Hi, you look very familiar... Are you from KL?

The Queen : Err... yes I am, but you don't look familiar to me

Liquid Courage Geek: NO WONDER you look familiar! I knew I must have seen you somewhere! I am Liquid Courage Geek by the way, you are?

The Queen : I am the Queen

Liquid Courage Geek: Oh, The Queen, nice name! Nice meeting you. What do you do by the way?

The Queen : I am in advertising...

Liquid Courage Geek: Oh! Interesting job... advertising! Why? I should have guessed!

Advertising people are always interesting

The Queen : Oh... thank you. So what do you do?

Liquid Courage Geek: Hmm... what do you think I do?

The Queen : I don't know... you tell me.

Liquid Courage Geek: Take a wild guess...

The Queen : I don't know... lawyer? Since you were with that group of lawyers over there?

Liquid Courage Geek: Close! But no! Take another guess

The Queen : Oh, I can't think of anything else except lawyer (trying to be tactful)

Liquid Courage Geek: I am a school teacher!

The Queen : Oh interesting! What do you teach and where?

Liquid Courage Geek: Welding... in Old Klang Road

The Queen : Interesting...

Liquid Courage Geek: I like you! Cheers!

The Queen : Cheers! (hoping that he will leave)

Liquid Courage Geek: You should look me in the eyes when you do that or you will have SEVEN YEARS OF BAD SEX!

WTF?!

Then the Liquid Courage Geek tried to be polite and turned to the Semi-Retired Drama Queen and said...

Liquid Courage Geek : So what do you do?

SRDQ : I am in PR

Liquid Courage Geek : You ARE? Interesting!

SRDQ : Really? How so?

Liquid Courage Geek : Oh I think it is a very important job! You know, advertising is all about planning and strategising while PR is all about the wining and dining! Something you cannot do without!

SRDQ : Oh really? Man! No wonder I suck at my job! I have not been wining and dining people at all!

The Queen : Yeah! So that's where you have been doing wrong all along! You have not been wining and dining your clients enough!

Liquid Courage Geek : Yeah... It is an interesting job though!

DOUBLE WTF?!

Valentines Day Post

2011-02-14T14:21:00.004+08:00

Felice San Valentino a tutti!

Happy Valentines Day to everyone!

Lyrics | Sandi Patti - Love In Any Language lyrics

Le Chateau Shall Soon have a Vacant Chamber

2011-02-09T20:35:00.010+08:00

Hear ye! Hear ye!

All ye Friends and Fans,

Frenemies and Foes!

'Tis shall happen, though it be in two months to come.

The Housemate from Hell shall perish! Yea, Perish!

O lucky stars of February, how the Semi-Retired Drama Queen doth thank thee.

All's well that endeth well; Good riddance to you O Housemate from Hell!

Henceforth, The Semi-Retired Drama Queen will soon be screening candidates to play her heaven-sent housemate. Perchance, thou art doth hath a mere mortal being to refer?

Dig-you-good-den!

Midnight Encounters: Four Happy People

2011-01-10T15:55:00.016+08:00

Here are facts that the Semi-Retired Drama Queen knows for sure. At least four persons went to bed happy early this morning!

First Encounter:

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen was on her way home from Taman Tun Dr Ismail at about 30 minutes past midnight. She stopped behind a green Perodua Myvi at the traffic light. About 2 minutes later, she realised that there were not one but two persons sitting in the car in front of her--the person seated on the front passenger seat had her head "hidden" somewhere between the steering wheel and the driver!

How did the Semi-Retired Drama Queen find out? The head "emerged" and then "dived down" again a few seconds later. Wanting to confirm her suspicion on what was happening inside the car in front of her, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen flashed her headlights twice... No response, but the traffic light turned green soon after and the car drove off (happily)...

Second Encounter:

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen arrived at her apartment and left her car at the 3-storey-carpark. As she walked out of the building, walking past the visitor's parking bay and headed for her block, she spotted two men making out gaily in a gray Renault Kangoo ;)

From the Couch of Her Living Room

2010-12-31T18:47:00.007+08:00

Five hours to go before the clock strikes midnight. A new year is about to begin. The Semi-Retired Drama Queen is sitting in her living room, overcome with a sense of contentment, taking in the surroundings and thinking, "Life has been good to me after all!"

Corny as it may seem, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen suddenly decided that she would like 2010 to be special. She would like to end this year with something she has never done before: Staying home, sitting in her own living room on her OWN reflecting about life, counting her blessings and thanking God for taking care of her well all these years!

Has the Semi-Retired Drama Queen finally grown up? She is still unable to answer that question. One thing she knows for sure, 2011 is going to be a good year! Why? Something has definitely changed! The Semi-Retired Drama Queen is ACTUALLY feeling contented and happy with her life... She has put together a list of the things in life she is grateful for and thinks that the list will grow longer come midnight.

Wonderful things in life that the Semi-Retired Drama Queen is thankful for:

All the life's drama accumulated in her 28 years (well 29 years come Jan 2011) of living that made life more exciting
Family and extended families to go home to for Chinese New Year, X'mas, birthdays and all the special occasions in life
Friends who love her and who have been there for her when she needed them
A job that takes care of ALL the bills! The Semi-Retired Drama Queen has A LOT of bills to pay and life would have been really miserable without the pay cheque!
An comfortable little apartment (see pix above) for her to go home to at the end of the day. When the Semi-Retired Drama Queen decided to stand on her own two feet and move into her own apartment in 2008, she only had RM2,500 to her name. She could not afford to furnish her apartment after paying her rental deposit! Her home was practically empty save a thin mattress to sleep on, a coffee table used as dining table and a rug and some throw cushions to add some color to her living room and for her to sit on -- see how far she has came along?
A decent car to take her places
Some extra money for holidays
Some money for her mom
A mother who loves her, a brother and a sister she could rely on, two lovely nieces for her to play with and a cool sister-in-law she could get along with (who also happens to be a hell of a good cook and a damn good mother to her nieces)
Her education and her own ability to still stay sane and move on with life (with head held high) despite all the challenges that she has been through (and it was A LOT!)

Life is indeed beautiful and 2011 will be better!

Reasons to Throw the Housemate from Hell Out!

2010-12-22T18:05:00.008+08:00

The Housemate from Hell is very emotionally needy and often has teary outbursts. The Semi-Retired Drama Queen is only 28-year-old and is not ready to be a mother yet. It is also biologically impossible for the Semi-Retired Drama Queen to play mother to a 33-year-old woman
The Housemate from Hell has her family coming over every other weekend and the Semi-Retired Drama Queen is getting very uncomfortable with this arrangement. Why? Just last weekend, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen found the Housemate from Hell's husband, sound asleep in her living room, on the floor, in front of the TV. He had apparently "stripped" the Semi-Retired Drama Queen's throw cushions in his sleep!
The Housemate from Hell has a very ill-behaved 5-year-old daughter who breaks her decorative pieces and steps on the Semi-Retired Drama Queen's carpet in her dirty slippers
The Housemate from Hell has, since October attracted 285 cockroaches into the house by leaving foodstuff lying all over the house
The Housemate from Hell leaves the water running in the bathroom while she is at work
The Housemate from Hell stores explosives in the house -- 6 cans of butane gas!
The Housemate from Hell uses a more electricity than the Semi-Retired Drama Queen does. She stays at home (with her family members) for longer period of time and pays a rental of only RM350 permonth (utility included)

Enough is Enough!

2010-12-20T16:04:00.011+08:00

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen has made her decision and the decision is FINAL. The Housemate from Hell will have to go!

Why? Because The Semi-Retired Drama Queen is beginning to feel like as if she is stuck in a bad lesbian marriage letting her room to the Housemate from Hell! It is emotionally and physically draining. (Read, "Reasons to Throw the Housemate from Hell Out")

Let's back track a little here... Before letting her middle room to the Housemate from Hell, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen was living a rather blissful life in her little 3-bedroom apartment.

In September this year, she has decided that she could use a little more holiday funds and decided to let her middle room out.

A string of strange individuals who were interested in the room were interviewed. The Semi-Retired Drama Queen then chose to let the room to the Housemate from Hell thinking that as a married woman (and a mother) she would be more matured and would come with a smaller baggage! How wrong she was... Problems started right from week 1 (read "The Housemate from Hell" and "The Weekend Heartache").

Now, on top of the 285 cockroaches that moved into her apartment together with the Housemate from Hell, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen also has against her will, acquired unwanted extended families! The Housemate from Hell who works every other Saturdays has her lazy-bum husband and an annoying 5-year-old daughter coming to live with her on the weekends that she works!

Having had her patience stretched, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen had the following conversation with the Housemate from Hell last weekend:

SRDQ : Are your kid and hubby planning to stay at over every other weekend?

HMFH : No, two weekends a month ONLY

SRDQ : If that's the case, you really should look for a PERMANENT arrangement for your family

HMFH : Ya, I will. But not sure yet. Don't know when.

P/s: WTF?!! However, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen has made a resolution to throw the Housemate From Hell out of the house in Jan

Looking for a Perfect Wedding Sabotage Plan

2010-12-06T14:42:00.011+08:00

It's Monday... Overwhelmed by her weekend weight gain and Monday blues, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen suddenly received a telephone call that cheered her up and brought a certain devilish grin onto her face. Her friend, the Semi-Retired No-Nonsense Queen is looking for that one perfect wedding sabotage plan! Big DRAMA in the making!

It turned out that the mystery guy the whom the Semi-Retired No-Nonsense Queen is so in love with (and whom the both of them were stalking) will be getting married soon. Jan 1, 2010! That left them with about 25 days to sabotage the wedding?

"Every second counts!" the Semi-Retired No-Nonsense Queen said. It is her only chance to have a shot at winning over the man of her dreams! Together, the both of them came up with a few sabotage plans:

Arrive at the wedding extra early, pour water into the PA system, slash the multimedia projector screen and slash the wedding car tyres
Take the groom out a day before, buy him drinks that will sure to give him a very bad sore throat that he'd lose his voice
Take the groom out to party, make him real drunk and take compromising pictures of him. Make sure to project the pictures right at the start of the wedding reception
Splash red paint onto the backdrop so that the bride thinks that the groom owes loan shark a lot of money and freak out enough to call the wedding off

Alternatively the Semi-Retired Drama Queen also Googled "how to sobotage a wedding". Here's a list of ways to do it if you are totally in love with the groom:

Gather just enough courage and energy to attend the wedding -- or half session at least. Then decide to throw the bouquet yourself and cut a piece of cake before the bride and groom
Find out what the bride-to-be was going to be wearing to her wedding reception, make the exact same design to wear to that wedding!
Volunteer to be one of the bridesmaids but keep trying on wedding dresses!
Get drunk and start telling incriminating stories about either the bride or groom
Show up with one or two kids and tell the bride/groom, "you left this"
Streak across the podium during the vows

Any idea on a perfect wedding sabotage? The Semi-Retired Drama Queen needs your ideas to save the Semi-Retired No-Nonsense Queen's love interest. They only have about 25 days left to come up with a perfect plan!

Engagement Ring Dilemma

2010-12-02T13:56:00.015+08:00

Hear ye, O brethren for the Semi-Retired Drama Queen is ENGAGED! She is on a mission to look for that one symbol of love, devotion and fidelity that every woman who has envisioned herself to be a soon-to-be starry-eyed bare-foot bride could ever dream of.

Psst... but no! The Semi-Retired Drama Queen is not expected to be married to anyone anytime soon. She is ENGAGED (by her friend who is a soon-to-be best-man for a wedding) with the task of looking for an engagement ring for a blushing bride-to-be. So to all of you potential suitors out there, thou shall despair not for there is still hope. Rest assure that you could still try your luck to woo the Semi-Retired Drama Queen once she steps down from her throne (permanently) some time soon?

...back to the task at hand! The Semi-Retired Drama Queen thinks that looking for this engagement ring is a very difficult mission. Why?

The soon-to-be groom has a very limited budget but wants a simple but elegant ring that a girl would like to show off (so a 1 carat solitaire is out of the question)
The Semi-Retired Drama Queen does not know the soon-to-be bride (nor the groom) and her friend who is the soon-to-be best man said that he does not have any specifications but trusts her with choosing the right ring

Therefore the challenge is to choose an "affordable" engagement ring irresistible enough for any random soon-to-be bride to say "Yes!" when the soon-to-be groom pops the question.

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen thinks that the plan could backfire...

...and turn disastrous if the soon-to-be bride ever finds out that the "affordable" ring was chosen by a random stranger.--->The poor bride-to-be?

She is so Stalking You... Please Make Her STOP!

2010-12-01T12:52:00.010+08:00

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen recently found out that she has stalker tendencies!

How? What? Why? and Who? It happens that her good friend, The Semi-Retired No-Nonsense Queen is very obsessed with a certain someone. The obsession is becoming so infectious that the Semi-Retired Drama Queen could not sleep at night thinking about how this "mystery guy" actually looks like.

Here are some info that the Semi-Retired Drama Queen has about the guy:

He is the kind of guy who "would blend into the background"
He is not too tall and not too short
His face is not too square and not too round
He drives a Honda City
He is not good looking but quite charismatic
He is Chinese, early to mid 30's but The Semi-Retired No-Nonsense Queen now has reasons to believe that he may even be in his 40's

If you are a guy who fits the description above, could you kindly please stand up? The Semi-Retired Drama Queen knows your name (but thinks that she should not mention it in this blog) and has started stalking you! However, be rest assured that you are safe. She would not be sending chocolates and flowers to your office once she knows who you are. She only wants to know how you look like and what is it about you that is making her good friend weak in her knees!

Apa Itu "Low-Fat Milk"?

2010-11-27T19:12:00.007+08:00

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen thinks that the government's "Use National Language Campaign" was a HUGE success!

Why? Because some people in the service industry do not speak English anymore these days. Here's one of the many instances...

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen was between gym classes at Chi Fitness, Damansara Perdana this morning and was craving for a cup of latte. The nearest place to get her coffee was Dunkin Donut (yeah, the coffee there sucks but the craving was bad!) at Mutiara Damansara.

Stopping at the Drive Thru booth, she tried to order "Skinny" latte and here's what happened:

SRDQ : Hi, I would like to have latte please.

Waitress 1: Arr?

SRDQ : Do you have latte?

The waitress then took a menu out and shoved it into the Semi-Retired Drama Queen's face

Waitress 1 : Yang mana satu? ("Which one?" in Malay)

SRDQ : This (pointing at a cup of latte), but can I have Skinny latte instead please?

Waitress 1 : Arr?

SRDQ : It's latte, but with low-fat/skimmed milk. Do you have?

Waitress 1 : Arr?

SRDQ : Do you have low-fat milk?

Waitress 1 : Wait arrr....

Left to get help from her colleague

Waitress 2 : Yes miss?

SRDQ : I would like to have latte, but with low fat milk instead of the normal full fat milk. Do you have?

Waitress 2 : Apa itu? ("What is that" in Malay)

SRDQ : Oh never mind, just give me this (Pointing to the picture of latte in the menu)

See!!! The government's effort to ensure that the Rakyat make use of the national language has bore fruits! People do not even understand the International Language anymore!

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen Wants to Spend Every Waking Hour Sleeping!

2010-11-27T17:39:00.015+08:00

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen has been going to bed at every opportunity she gets! The reason: She bought herself a new set of bed-sheet. They are so soft and smooth, she had the most restful sleep last night.

Sleeping on the sheet was such a wonderful experience that nothing could take her away from her bed for too long now. Whenever she is away, she could almost hear her bed calling out to her, "come back... come back to bed. Feel my softness on your skin. I'll make you so warm and comfortable, you'd never want to leave me again".

Check out the sheet up-close. It is made of 290 thread count Microtex (brushed micro fibre fabric) with embossed grid lines. The sheet is so silky soft and comfortable, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen slipped into a very deep sleep almost immediately after she climbed into bed last night!

Curious about why the new bed-sheet had such effect on her, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen googled "brushed micro fibre fabric" to find out more. Apparently, the fabric is a "sensational combination of value and luxury". It is so comfortable that it is able to provide the feel of one's favourite t-shirt!

Although brushed micro fibre is made from polyester (so it can go from dryer to bed without ironing), it is lightweight and has the breathability of cottons. However, it is incredibly soft and silky because microfibre is more tightly woven and smoother in appearance as compared to cotton.

Further readings suggested that brushed micro fibre sheets are also hypo-allergenic and are recommended for people with allergies and sensitive skin because the fabric has fewer depressions to trap dust mite allergens.

Ok, enough of "geek-talk" about brush micro fibre sheets! The Semi-Retired Drama Queen actually believes that if she sleeps on her new bed-sheet long enough, she could actually turn into Sleeping Beauty! Here are the reasons why:

Brushed micro fibre wicks away moisture without absorbing natural body oils. They are very breathable as well as moisture and heat dissipating. Therefore the Semi-Retired Drama Queen will be able to sleep longer and at the same time have nicer skin
Sleep reduces stress. This new bed-sheet makes her feel like sleeping ALL the time. Hence her aging process can be reversed?
Given that she spends more time in bed now, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen thinks that it is POSSIBLE for her to lose weight! She recalled reading somewhere that sleep regulates the hormones that affect and control appetite. Plus, she will be spending more time sleeping instead of stuffing her face with food!

P/s: The Semi-Retired Drama Queen is anxiously hoping for a handsome Prince to wake her up from her sleep with a kiss tonight :)

She's electric?

2010-11-13T22:08:00.006+08:00

When this song was released 15 years ago, The Semi-Retired Drama Queen thought that Noel Gallagher wrote this song with her in mind... She still thinks so though!

The reason:
She's electric
(Well the Semi-Retired Drama Queen can come across as that to some)

She's in a family full of eccentrics
(YES, definitely!)

She done things I never expected
(Many times...)

And I need more time
(Didn't know that he needed more time... Should have told her...)

She's got a sister
(Bingo! She has ONE sister!)

And god only knows how I've missed her
(Hahah! God only knows how she had known this all along!)

And on the palm on her hand is a blister
(She has had many blisters on the palm of her hand...)

Later in the song...

She's got a brother...
(YES she does!)

But I quite fancy her mother...
(This one, she wasn't aware!)

But I think that she likes me
(Yeah, she used to like him)

She's got a cousin
(uh-huh...)

In fact she's got 'bout a dozen
(Damn right she does... over a dozen!)

She's got one in the oven...
(NO! this one was a make believe... U wish Noel!)

Cockroach on the Dining Table

2010-11-11T14:40:00.005+08:00

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen found an adult-size cockroach on her dining table this morning... She is still feeling very upset about it! Very ANGRY with the Housemate from Hell who hoards a lot of foodstuff and lay them all over the entire 6-seater table.

SHE IS DEFINITELY GOING TO HAVE THAT TALK WITH THE HOUSEMATE FROM HELL TONIGHT!

Too Much of Good Stuff (Is Bad)

2010-11-07T13:12:00.004+08:00

The semi-Retired Drama Queen is swearing off food and will be going on fully a organic meal replacement diet to detoxify her system for a week. She has been over indulging very unhealthily for the past one week. The following story is just one of the many instances.

Again, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen wished that she had brought her camera along with her so that this post could come with real life pictures. A comic representation would have to suffice this time. In your mind, replace the man in the picture below with two hot women, and the food; dim sum.

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen and her friend, The Queen decided to have Dim Sum at Damansara Jaya for lunch yesterday. However, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen took an hour longer than usual to get dressed. They both ended up extremely hungry and had lunch only at a quarter to three.

As soon as they arrived at the restaurant, the waiters started overwhelming them with samples of food. Famished, the two hungry women ordered EVERYTHING that struck their their fancy.

They ended up with a table-full of Dim Sums and it took them hours to finish their food -- they were still trying to stuff their over-expanded faces (and stomachs) when people on the table next to them arrived and left.

Laundry Trouble

2010-11-06T00:07:00.001+08:00

This post would work better with real pictures but the Semi-Retired Drama Queen was too furious to take any pictures this afternoon.

It all happened a few days ago when the Semi-Retired Drama Queen realised that she actually had two and half weeks load of laundry to do. She then decided to send her clothes to the laundromat near her apartment.

She had underestimated the weight of her soiled clothes and paid RM20 for the service. She had initially expected it to be less than RM10.

When the Semi-Retired Drama Queen returned home after collecting the washed clothes this afternoon, she discovered that the 5 kg bundle of clothes that she had lugged all the way home were not hers! The bag contained male briefs, male boxer shorts, men's t-shirts etc.

Annoyed, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen repacked the clothes into the bag and returned to the laundromat. At the laundromat, the worker refused to accept the bag and insisted that there was no mixed up. The following is an excerpt from her conversation with the worker at the laundromat (Translated from Malay):

SRDQ : Hi, there is a mistake. The bag of clothes I took home just then were not mine.

Worker : Shouldn't be. There is NO MIX-UP. We sort out all the clothes according to names. Isn't your name XXX

SRDQ : Yes, my name is XXX. But those clothes in that bag aren't mine.

Worker : That is not possible ma'am. If your name is XXX, the clothes in that bag should be yours

SRDQ : Look, obviously there is a mistake here. I am XXX but I am pretty sure I don't wear men's briefs and boxer shorts. I want my clothes back!!

Worker : Ma'am, I am very sorry but we can't find your clothes. If what you say is true, someone must have taken your clothes. We will contact you once they return the clothes to us

Playing Paparazzi on Diwali

2010-11-05T15:03:00.014+08:00

Iniya Theebavali Nalvalthukal!

The Housemate from Hell had returned to her hell hole for the long Deepavali weekend.

Yippie!! The festival of lights has never been so meaningful to the Semi-Retired Drama Queen, EVER! Talk about victory of good over evil, where the light shines over Darkness! The Semi-Retired Drama Queen finally could have her THREE FULL DAYS of pure bliss without distraction from the evil force.

On the first blissful day, the Semi-Retired Drama Queen just felt like doing nothing useful to commemorate this euphoric state of mind. It worked for half-a-day, then curiosity got the better of her. The Semi-Retired Drama Queen was indeed, very curious about the foodstuff belonging to the Housemate from Hell that were occupying the entire space of 6-seater dining table. They have been left there, untouched, since the housemate moved in over a month ago. She wondered if they were intentionally placed there for display purpose only -- and whether or not they have been preserved with some kind of evil portion.

The quest for an answer begins... It started with the packet of half-eaten Gardenia bread on the table, I will talk about the packet of fruits next to the bread later.

Looked just like an ordinary packet of Uncle Slocumm's Original Recipe bread, no? But the Semi-Retired Drama Queen begs to differ!

The bread has been "displayed" on the dining table since forever! Check out the expiry date of the bread in the following pictures:

It is not very clear but the bread expired on Oct 28, 2010! That means that it is now EIGHT DAYS past its expiry date!

Check out the condition of the bread...

Still looked (and felt) fresh! Not a speck of mold was seen! In this hot and humid climate, bread belonging to the Semi-Retired Drama Queen would have turned moldy two or three days past the expiry date if not refrigerated!

What about the packet of fruits next to the bread? Well... they have been there (uneaten as usual) since TWO WEEKS ago without any signs that the fruits will ever rot (or be eaten)!

Do you think that the Housemate from Hell preserved all her food and intentionally place them on the Semi-Retired Drama Queen's dining table for display purpose only? You be the judge, but the Semi-Retired Drama Queen certainly thinks so!

Waiting to End the Heartache

2010-11-03T00:57:00.002+08:00

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen does not have space for eating at her dining table anymore!

Look at state of her 6-seater dining table, the only items on the table that belong to her were two water tumblers and the cake box!

The cake box was the latest edition and that practically took up the whole remaining space! This is because her housemate from hell had decided to make use of the dining table (which belongs to the Semi-Retired Drama Queen) as a display table for food items that had invisible "DO NOT EAT" tags pasted all over them--and those items continue to multiply.

P.s: The housemate from hell had stated her desire to move out but has yet to confirm a date. The Semi-Retired Drama Queen hopes that it will be some time SOON!

Unlocking Catastrophe

2010-10-19T13:45:00.010+08:00

Such chaos! It was a work day and the Semi-Retired Drama Queen woke up in a state of confusion. She was late for her meeting at Bangsar Shopping Complex (BSC) and her state of mind was similar to that of her bedroom – messy! She could not even remember what she normally packed for work.

Laptop… Gym bag? What else? Also, what do I normally pack into my gym bag?! Oh, never mind, I’d come back for my stuff after the meeting – on my way to the office!” she thought and left the house.

She attended the meeting, later had lunch with her friend The Queen at BSC, headed home to collect her things and… guess what? Her bedroom door was locked! All her things were in her bedroom. She had unconsciously locked the door that morning and she did not have the key! Double whammy?!

Then… she remembered that she used to unlock doors with cards ages ago. How was it done? Insert the card into the slit between the door and the frame... slide it down while twisting the door knob and jerking it back and forth hard to “jam” the card between the deadlatch and strike plate.

She tried and failed because the gap between the door and the frame was too close and she was not strong enough to jab the door back and forth with one hand and sliding the card down the slit with the other! Next, she rang her new friend, Cheras Ah Beng to help her break into her room.

Cheras Ah Beng was in Glenmarie. He arrived 30 minutes later and came up with suggestions such as kicking the door open -- bad idea because the Semi-Retired Drama Queen didn't want to break the door in the process; unlocking the door with pin -- another bad idea because all the pins were behind that locked door; and breaking the lock -- let's leave this option as the last.

Still believing that her card method would work, she instructed him to twist the door knob and jerk it back and forth fast and hard while she slipped her Jusco loyalty card into the slit, slided the card down and... SUCCEEDED!

The Weekend Heartache

2010-10-17T20:43:00.004+08:00

The Semi-Retired Drama Queen thinks that her home is slowly turning into a museum thanks to her housemate.

Check out her dining table… Half of the dining table has been turned into a display shelf!

Those foodstuff on the table do not belong to her, but the housemate because the Semi-Retired Drama Queen is a minimalist who does not like keeping too many things at home.

She thinks that the housemate has preserved all the foodstuff to be displayed permanently as exhibits. They no longer are perishable items and have been placed there by the housemate on the day she moved in and do not look like they are ever going to be opened or eaten!

To add to the heartache, the housemate returned from Malacca just 30 minutes ago with (guess what?) MORE STUFF for DISPLAY!

Resolution: The Semi-Retired Drama Queen intends to confront the housemate tomorrow. More drama to come?

http://www.spike.com/video/titty-titty-bang/3300001

2010-10-15T18:00:00.001+08:00

Botched Boobjob... Nasty!

Waiting for the Drama to Start

2010-10-14T22:40:00.001+08:00

See? What did I say about growing up? The little life's drama becomes less frequent... Waiting anxiously for another drama to happen.