The Sexually

The Sexually WINS!

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 00:12:00 +0000

Congrats to the Cast & Crew of The Sexually for our wins at the 2010 LA Webfest!

Jeff Lycett brought home - Outstanding Achievement , Lead Actor in a comedy or drama.

And The Sexually took home Outstanding Achievement in a comedy Series!

Stay tuned for Season three coming soon - and wait to see just what these British rock stars have gotten into this time.

LA WEBFEST

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 21:31:00 +0000

On the Leesh is thrilled to announce that two of our web series: The In-Betweens of Holly Malone and The Sexually have been accepted in this year's LA Webfest.

LA WEB FEST KICKS OFF MARCH 26-28, 2010: at Stage 52 Theater , 5299 W Washington Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90016

New Pics on The Sexually site!

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 19:36:00 +0000

Updated pics on The Sexually website - check them out at: thesexually.ontheleesh.com!

Juice: Lost in Central Park (Part 2)

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 15:35:00 +0000

Juice: Lost In Central Park (Part 1)

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 14:52:00 +0000

Juice - the frontman of The Sexually finds himself lost in Central Park with no assistants around him. Can he get home?

Season 3 of The Sexually

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 14:45:00 +0000

Coming Soon....

The Sexually Starts Shooting Season 3

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 18:44:00 +0000

Last night the cast and crew of The Sexually got together to begin shooting Season 3 of the show. It seems, things between Juice and Johnnie have degraded to such a low point that Evelyn demands that the band go to therapy.

If it worked for Metallica, maybe it could work for The Sexually as well!

Can the boys be tamed and understand their feelings?

Watch and see...

have they buried michael jackson yet?

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 15:01:00 +0000

he’s dead, in case you hadn’t heard. as much as i’ve tried to refrain from commenting about it, trying my hardest to not be a tweet-ard, naively believing the general public actually cares what i think about life and it’s mundane events, i can’t withhold myself any longer.
even growing up in the u.k., i knew michael Jackson was the greatest; fourth in the line of god-like entertainers, the game changers: sinatra, elvis, john-paul-george-ringo, then michael… with no one to replace him. i call him michael and you know who i mean. simply because he was so brilliant for so long. there is no other michael like him. he, much like myself, deserves first name only treatment. besides, i can’t bring myself to use any of his other nick names. king of pop, white mike, boy bugger, wacho jacko, bla, bla. and i certainly can’t use m.j. there’s only one m.j. in my life. mimi jenkins, who gave me the nickname juice. she had a fantastic set of fun bags, letting me enjoy them as often as i chose. believe me, I chose, often. we never actually had sex, me and m.j., but I fit her with many a pearl necklace. she was a bit on the silly side, referring to my sperms as “juice.” the mates got wind of my fetish and the name never left. she will forever be my m.j.
michael’s timeline to greatness is significantly aligned with mine. He was born whenever, made his brother’s famous soon after. then, in 1979, released the most amazing of albums, “off the wall.” as my mother tells it, i was conceived in the back a coke den turned night club, while shagging to “don’t stop til you get enough.” she said it was either that night or the next night, when she was acting out led zeppelin’s 1979 swan song, “in through the out door.” since i’m quite certain you can’t get a stork visit by doing a f~*k in a lady’s bum, i think it was her first inclination upon which i entered the world.
btw, have you ever seen the video for “don’t stop?” pure magic. this is full on young black michael, dancing by himself in front of some crap late seventies video effect (or is it affect? never quite remember that one). he’s in a tuxedo, sleeves pulled up, trademark short pants, white socks revealed. really! name one person who can pull off black trousers and white socks. name one! right, well there was that one kid in my used to do it, but he got the shit punched out of him daily. michael did it for twenty years and people thought he was cool for it. a special nod to that, i say.
in 1980, the year i’m born, michael wins a grammy. in 1982, “thriller” is released, selling some fifty million copies. coincidentally, more than twenty men in the greater london area dedicate the song “billy jean” to my mum (“the kiiiiiiiiiiid is not my son!”). not such a good feeling, actually. thank you, michael (insert sarcastic tone here). but he redeemed himself by giving me the life anthem p.y.t. (pretty young thing). yes, i was young when i first heard it, but i knew what it meant. and if i had two pence for every time i thought/sang, “i want to love you, pyt, pretty young thing, i’ll violate you, pyt, pretty young thing, i’ll make you suffer, pyt, I’ll take you theeeeeere…” i quite like it still to this day. thank you., michael.
in 1988, on my eighth birthday, i received a copy of “bad” from a nancy uncle. i didn’t much care for it, if i’m honest. had a flare for the rock n’ roll coming from the states- guns n’ roses, motley crue, anvil, you name it. however, i have to say, when i eventually saw the video for “the way you make me feel,” i gave it another listen. actually, truth be told, i gave it another watch, again and again and again.
the heavenly femme in that video! god have mercy on my genitals. yes, micheal looked good, no doubt. little white sash belt, the blue button down opened up on a white tee, and, not to be redundant, the short black pants revealing the white socks (turns out he had me paying attention to fashion and performance as well). the girl, that video, changed everything- my whole life, upside down. without a doubt, my sexuality was born that day. it’s the only video where i viewed michael’s dancing as a distraction. it might be safe to say that all my addictions to beautiful women started right there, when i was just eight years old. it was monumental, to say the least. in short, it was the first time in my life i understood why a man would want to give a woman a polish bike ride.
i used to have this reoccurring daydream that put me in the middle of the chorus for the “free are the whirls,” video that all the great pop stars of the eighties were in. i’d pretend I was standing between kenny loggins and bob dylan, and me and bob were making fun of kenny (i was like, “nice mullet, kenny.” and bob was like, “yeah, no it’s not.” and we would laugh, cause we was stoned off our asses.). but then kenny roger’s turned around and thought we was makin’ fun of him. (i was like, “no way, mate. you’re the gambler!” and bob was like, “hey, juice, let’s go smoke more pot.” and i was like, “yeah, mate, sukit mike.”) and then everyone started singing, “free are the whirls!”
i kind of stopped paying mind to older crazy white michael, which i’m quite glad for. look around your own life. i bet you can put a keen eye on quite a number of people who went nutter as they got older, and they weren’t even famous. fame does f~*ked up shit to people. look at johnnie (he’s the talented guitarist in my rock band, the SEXually). a few big hits in the u.k., a side bar blurb from “guitar one” magazine, and all of a sudden he’s the next coming of jimmy f~*king page. Soon thereafter, he developed a new found pension for drugs and trannies. my point is, unless you’ve been globally famous, don’t judge a man for changing the color of skin, buying the bones of the elephant man, getting at least five nose jobs, and dangling his infant son from a four story balcony. what’s the big deal about that anyhow? we once dangled dylan from the eiffel tower, which people thought was quite funny (and by people, i mean me and julian).
so, here i am, acknowledging the man’s greatness. he was a powerful influence on my life. i’ll be forever grateful to young black michael! and i’m somewhat thankful for white mike as well. actually, i learned from him three vital things: 1. talent is born, not created. 2. if you’re lucky enough to be born with said talent, you can wear whatever the hell you want, including surgical masks and pajamas in public. 3. if your natural talent brings you immense wealth, there’s no end to the amount of crazy people will tolerate.
thanks, michael!

Juice reviews band of horses (acoustic)

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 18:56:00 +0000

because my guitar player still qualifies as psychologically inept and we haven’t started recording a new album yet, let alone play live gigs, i’ve been forced to write for this crap blog, reviewing live shows. a few weeks back i went to see band of horses, acoustic, at carnegie hall.
band of horses (great). carnegie hall (cool for them). acoustic (lies!) every member of the eight person band was plugged into something. there were cords and pedals everywhere. stacks of amps, roadies running in and out; so much so, they could of billed it as an anti-acoustic show. it only occurs to me now, that maybe it was the american hipster irony at work. makes sense, the hall was filled to the teeth with “hipsters,” the self-righteous, indie culture mavens from brooklyn. half the bars in williamsburg must have been empty that night. but rightfully so! the band of horses deserve to be listened to live, and doing so at carnegie hall was quite a treat. despite the fact that it was incorrectly billed, i loved the show.

they started off a bit slow for my taste, and it continued to go that way through the first half of the set. in fact, ‘bout six songs in, one of williamsburg’s finest yelped, “pick up the pace.” to which horses front man, ben bridwell, replied, “this one’s for you,” and proceeded to play their slowest, saddest song. i liked that move. F the audience, i say. and to that wanker who dared dictate the band’s set, i hope you come to a SEXually show one day. if you do, try and get to the front row. i’d like to have a piss on your head.

rest of the show was brilliant, as they eventually did pick up the pace. they even had a real nice look about them, all bearded, wearing skinny jeans and flannels. they got this whole brooklyn jesus thing going. there was bridwell, the lead brooklyn jesus. and the other guy, fat brooklyn jesus (sorry, “heavy set” brooklyn jesus is what i meant). they had drummer brooklyn jesus, several back up brooklyn jesus. they even had a cowboy brooklyn jesus. made me want to do a whole punk brooklyn jesus thing. [note to stylist: potato sacks, sewn into butt tight pants. wooden cross as a back satchel. crown of thorns, but made from heroine needles.] i wish i could grow a beard the way johnnie can. [note to doctor: can full body laser hair removal be reversed? i’ve grown bored with that fetish anyhow.]

it was a bit stuffy to watch a show at c hall. all of it was sitting down, even during the encore. and there was a phone nazi, making sure we didn’t communicate to the outside world. “not even so much as a tweet,” he said to me, waggin his finger back and forth like a sex toy. worst of all, no booze at the seats. really? I mean, come on! quite the stupid little rule, no? I was about to pull my alcohol handicap card, which allows me to drink anywhere i need to, but there was this guy in front of me, a drunk brooklyn jesus, who brought his own pint of whiskey. he got so drunk, i was able to snatch his bottle and convince him the phone nazi took it.
i have to admit, it’d be really grand to play carnegie hall one day. [note to self: play carnegie hall. vomit on stage. might be a first.] it wasn’t until half way through the show that I noticed that the entire band (of horses) was standing on asian carpets. Is that a hall thing, or horses thing? [note to evelyn: a rider in all my contracts that I must perform on asain carpets. this includes ALL concerts, interviews (even with police), and the many various appearances, even if it’s just in my apartment, pretending in front of the mirror.] thank you.

Juice on Adverstising

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 15:48:00 +0000

what does this mean? (it's an honest question.) it seems that the advertisers have abandoned acknowledgement, humor, and meaning in their pursuit to get me to purchase their product. what is their product? even more, what do they want me to do with it? I feel like if I pursue the questions further, I'll be the cause of some unforced armegedon. and still, I wonder what they want from me... I'm totally confused and long for London. F. U. DR.!

what does this mean? (it's an honest question.) it seems that the advertisers have abandoned acknowledgement, humor, and meaning in their pursuit to get me to purchase their product. what is their product? even more, what do they want me to do with it? I feel like if I pursue the questions further, I'll be the cause of some unforced armegedon. and still, I wonder what they want from me... I'm totally confused and long for London. F. U. DR.!

Juice Goes to the Museum

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 18:52:00 +0000

JUICE VISITS THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART... WATCH HIS TOUR HERE...

Juice Reviews The Hangover

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 15:46:00 +0000

The Hangover. The Lameover. The Boringover. The Two-Hours-Of-My-Life-I’m-Not-Going-To-Get-Back-Over. The Half-Way-Through-I-Wish-It-Was-Over-Over. see what i’m getting at? which is not to say, i didn’t laugh. the fat guy with the beard? total pisser. except the scene’s where he shows his bum. quite unnecessary. and incidentally, when did unattractive male nudity become comedy vogue? i’m supposed to giggle when i see a fat man’s bum? no thank you. but i did have a serious laugh at that photo of him getting his knob popped by a pilipino fifty-something.
the reason i wasn’t completely entertained was none of it was new to me. if i had a dime for every time I woke up, strung out, wondering how the bloody hell i got where i was, i’d have… lots and lots of dimes. ok, maybe not a boxer’s tiger, but i can tell you about a few gentleman’s goats that have been mistreated, by male and female alike. and their missing friend seemed a bit on the retard side. if a grown man can’t get himself off a vegas rooftop, he doesn’t deserve to be in the town to begin with.
in fact, we’ve lost dylan at least a dozen times. poor bastard just keeps finding his way back. i do get the sense of urgency with the wedding and all, but it would have been a lot funnier if the chap had disappeared on his own, simple because marriage is load of bullshit. that’s what happened to the SEXually. we had a guitar player pull a runner several times. we had to go looking for him, all on the count that he didn’t want to be a rock star anymore. the funny shit that went down on those episodes, you have no idea. and i would tell you all about them, save that there’s a few lawsuits pending, and my lawyer, Evil-in Harden (who incidentally, is a way better villain than the tiny angry asian from the film) said, “absolutely NOT! juice, it’s high time you pulled that juvenile head out of your over-sexed ass [not what you think] and got busy with the resurrection of your flailing career!” but all that’s a different matter isn’t it? anyway, the aforementioned story i refer to ends with me wondering, why are all these police officers in my bedroom?
one last thing: learn to handle a hangover, mates.; act like you’ve been there before.

Juice from The SEXually picks his favorite You Tube Video

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 14:40:00 +0000

this video carries with it a degree of sexual brilliance to which i can only aspire. the ironic and tantalizing expression of the sex industry via plastic dolls is unrivaled. it's like being at a strip club in the basement of a Toys R Us. i only wish i could see behind those pesky black boxes. enjoy, luv. - JUICE

Juice from The SEXually Goes to the Met

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 17:59:00 +0000

"i went to a museum on saturday; only god knows how I survived it- like watching paint dry in a church. there were lots of statues among some egyptian ruins- snooze it; thanks, but not. lots of pictures of dead people, loads of my english descendants- i quite like that fuex military thing they had going for a bit (note to stylist: viet nam green meets Elizabethan military). there were loads of shots of baby Jesus and his mother; quite fetching were the ones sans the baby- like, as soon as she became a single mother, not so much. more pictures of dead people, and more after that. made me quite sleepy, actually. i practically passed out from exhaustion within the first fifteen minutes of entering. [right, well, I should preface my whole reason for being there in the first place was because I was talkin to this bird walkin down the street- ‘bout eleven A in the M, coming home from the night before. so we was chattin it up- blasé blasé- and I end up walkin into the Met (the metropolitan museum of art, thank you very much). well, turns out the bird had a geeza, but by the time I figured it, I was fully trapped inside. it’s impossible to find your way out of such places, very much like a bloody Ikea. we did an event at an Ikea once. opened a store in rotterdam. retarded place, that is. gave us furniture as payment (really poor management back then). furniture lasted about as long as a relationship with a groupie.]

anyway, I stumble on this francis bacon exhibit. little did i know, it was right near the front door. had i known, i would have been out like a sprout. now, bacon was english, born in london, 1920’s. rich family; father was a bit of a bully. i remembered this from the crap grammar academy i went to as a kid. they wouldn't let us look at his paintings cause they were a bit too racy for youthful eyes. well, one of me mates tells me later, bacon was into men, and that’s the reason they didn’t show us. they didn’t want to get us gayed up- like that could happen. for me, well, whateva, you know? (whateva drives the art, is what i mean.) what really intrigued me was that bacon liked his sex rough. privy to it myself, luv, if given the chance. see, but bacon was beat by his father. and he saw a lot of violence in his life time- living in europe during WWII says enough. i think i can understand why he might want to create that scenario. but I wasn’t beat by my father- mine ignored me. the only violence i see is created by myself, or me band mates, like in a bar fight, or that little mishap that happened with the special kids on the tube that strange easter sunday. those oddities, and while i’m in bed, when i happen upon a girl who shares the same proclivities. even then, it’s controlled violence, mutual by all accounts. [please stop judging me, it’s really not necessary. it is what it is and i am what i am. things as they are.] but I digress…
bacon uses great color, weird form, and a completely compelling subject matter- check out that shite about pope innocent X; F’d up, to say the least. and here i am, feeling quite okay about my own F’d up misogynistic lyrics. not so bad, bacon. thanks for sharing!"

The Sexually To Play Again

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Thu, 14 May 2009 16:40:00 +0000

Look out music lovers... The Sexually is due to begin shooting once again! The crew is headed to therapy to work out some of their issues. That being said, you don't need to worry - they'll still be the sex-crazed, drunken, drug addicts that you've come to know and love.

More to come!

To watch previous episodes, go to: The Sexually

The Sexually - Season 2- Episode 5

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Thu, 07 May 2009 17:32:00 +0000

The Sexually: Season 2, Episode 5... A Sexual Dream

Juice has a dream sequence...

The Sexually: Season 2, Episode 4

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Fri, 01 May 2009 19:23:00 +0000

Season 2, Episode 4: Lost, Found & Felated

Johnny explains how he become the greatest musician of his time.

Watch Season 2, Episode 3

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 15:39:00 +0000

Pending A Few Lawsuits

Click To Play

Watch Season 2, Episode 2

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 15:53:00 +0000

Season 2, Episode 2: Hard Bastard
An interview with Julian. He's vicious.

Watch Season 2, Episode 1

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 20:27:00 +0000

Season 2
Episode 1: Rapture Happens
The Sexually must find their missing member, Johnnie, before they can begin their journey.

Special Invite for "The Sexually" and "The In-Betweens of Holly Malone"

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 17:10:00 +0000

I got a pretty interesting email this morning from a whole other continent! No, I'm not referring to an email from Nigeria in which I'm told I'm the last living beneficiary for like, a ga-billion dollars, this was an actual REAL offer. A representative from The Portable Film Festival located in Melbourne, Australia asked us if the could include both The Sexually and The In-Betweens of Holly Malone in their festival! They said they just happened to come upon them and loved them both!

The Australians love us! Awesome!

Check out this fest at: www.portablefilmfestival.com.

And, as always, check out our three webseries at:

www.thesexually.com

hollymalone.ontheleesh.com

inthecan.ontheleesh.com

Watch Episode 5 of In The Can

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 17:30:00 +0000

Episode 5: The Chat
Evelyn and Juice have a chat.

Watch Season 2, Episode 4 - Lost, Found & Felated

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 18:19:00 +0000

Season 2, Episode 4: Lost, Found & Felated
Johnny explains how he become the greatest musician of his time.

Watch Season 2, Episode 3

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Fri, 13 Mar 2009 17:01:00 +0000

Episode 3: Pending a Few Lawsuits

Juice talks... and talks...

Click To Play

Season 2, Episode 2

info@ontheleesh.com (On the Leesh Productions) — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 13:43:00 +0000

SEASON 2, EPISODE 2: HARD BASTARD
An interview with Julian. He's vicious.