The Shake Up

A Letter to my Soulmate

2012-09-03T04:02:00.002-07:00

Dear Love of my Life,

I am writing you this letter because I miss you. It's as simple as that. I miss you and I need to hold you and now that you are with me and will never let me go. Also I wanted to explain to you why we have been out of touch with each other for so long. I know, no excuse could ever make up for the missed moments, un-haved laughs, kisses, hugs and "in-love" stares that used to leave a smile on my face like a simple sheep. Please read this and know that I am truly sorry that we have not yet met, and I truly hope this letter will give you a piece of mind and tell you what you need to know about me.

I have made many mistakes in my life...some were good mistakes and some were bad ones I will probably live to regret until the end of my days. But each mistake has lead me to write this letter to you. I don't know where you are, to be honest I am not even entirely sure what you look like. In my heart I know, in my heart I have always known even if we have never met. Baby, I want to tell you first that in the last few years, love has hurt me a lot. Twice in a row I thought I have found you. Twice in a row I was let down, smashed to pieces and had an incredibly rude awakening that I did not have what I thought was you. Especially the last girl, I was so convinced it was you. All the signs was there that she was my perfect soulmate and just meant to be...but all the signs was also there that stated otherwise, not until my heart was broken to a thousand pieces spilling blood on the floor did I realise that believing she was you, was my biggest mistake I will live to regret for the rest of life. Not that I dated a girl that I loved, or that I met her or that we broke up pre-maturely those things taught me so much about love, relationships and what it means to be fully commited to one person for the rest of my life...but just the fact that I ever allowed myself to think she would ever be good enough for me, not to mention thinking she is the "one" was the biggest mistake I ever made. I can only imagine how you must feel, knowing I am your soulmate, knowing we are meant to be but looking into my heart and seeing that I blindly gave it to someone who was never ever going to be worthy of my fickle heart. I wish you warned me, I wish you stopped me, maybe slapped me and said I must open my eyes, look you straight in the eye and SEE you. Because you are the only one that could ever hold my heart's content and tame the wild man that I have always been. You know that you are the only one worthy of my heart, and I know this too...

...But it has become so incredibly hard for me to believe in love. Babes, I wish I could look you in the eyes and tell you what's on my heart instead of writing this letter. If you could only see the pain in my eyes I know you will understand. My first love that a mistook for my soulmate, is not with us anymore, may she rest in peace, the second one turned out to be a lesbian and never really was into me...and the last one was so fake and only told me whatever I wanted to hear the whole 9 yards: how much she loved me, how badly she wanted to get married to me, how she wants to have children with me (before she never wanted children), how she will never be able to love another man in her life because I am the one she belongs to yada yada yada...so in the end she proved that words are wind. Now I am so scared to ever meet you, because what if just happens again? I don't trust women anymore my love. How can I? Whenever I am in a relationship I give my heart and soul away just to have it stomped on and trashed. I am so sick and tired of getting hurt. Always commiting to women who clearly don't deserve me and then give them every inch of me and to them its just never enough. But still....I know myself, when the next one arrives (whether she is you or not) I will most probably give her my all again. I think I am a commitment junky. I just wish you would pitch up next, so that I can commit to the right girl. Nothing in the world will me make me happier.

I can not tell you how much I miss you. I think about holding you every night when I am laying alone in my bed. I can smell your clean hair and your scent everyday at home. It just makes me miss you more. I sometimes pretend you are laying down in my lap while we are watching a movie and I talk to you...that's when things get a bite weird with the whole talking to myself kind of thing. And I know you are as sexually charged as I am so I know that movie will never get to the end no matter how many times we press pause for about 45minutes to an hour-hour and a half. You are just a little slut aren't you? But you are my little slut! And that's all I ever need. I can't stop thinking about your soft lips and how heavenly they feel on my lips when you kiss me...even for a guy who doesn't believe in heaven they are enough to make me believe in a castle in the sky. And your hugs! Oh my good fuck, have I ever met a girl that gives such amazing, tight and prolonged hugs every time you wrap your arms around me? I don't think I would ever. I have to admit, the cutest thing about you is the way you don't ever compromise on your looks, even if we are going to be late for a party if one hair is not taken care of we will be late until you look your best. It is just so cute, and an inspiration - I wish all women would take care of themeselves like you do. The sexiest thing about you...okey I have to admit this...everything about you is incredibly sexy, from your soft straight hair, your big eyes, your thick full lips, your big breasts, tiny waist and your big beautiful, firm buttle butt! But most of all, and you know this about me, the thing that's the sexiest thing about you is your wild and kinky personality in the bedroom (not only the bedroom but all the rooms in the house and public) just the way you can grab me wherever we are, whenever you feel horny and no matter who is watching. If there could ever be anything sexier than that I will be damned. You make my tummy tickle just thinking about you...and I haven't met you yet. Its crazy I know. Can someone be totally inlove with a ghost? Well I guess I answered my own question.

I can't wait for the long hours at night, stroking your soft, straight hair just talking about everything and anything that tickles you, or concerns you or me but just sitting up for hours with you in my arms. The days where I come home after a long day and you literally jump me out of excitement that I am home...even after 20 years together that will never get old. haha! The sushi evenings, the long showers, spongeing each other down until the water gets cold. I can't wait any longer to be there for you when you fall, and you cry to pick you up, wipe down your tears, kiss your eyes gently and tell you that as long as we have each other everything is going to be alright and I will never let you get hurt by anyone. Even knowing that one day I might hurt you with something I might say or do...but my promise will always be from my heart. I can't wait for the nights sleeping next to you, spooning, holding you tight in my arms, protecting you from any harm...listening to you breath while cupping a breast and feeling your heart beat slowly against the palm of my hand....feeling something stir below and waking you up at 3 a.m. for a wild early bird sex session before we go back to sleep for a few more hours. Or walking side by side, your hand firmly in mine, fitting perfectly, in the mall where I know every man in the mall are staring at you and wish they could be in my position. Just the moments where you can laugh at me or for me, that beautiful laughter that just proves that you enjoy my company even the grumpy ones! But most of all...and this is really the thing I can't wait for anymore is the look. That look you always give me whenever we are somewhere and you are across the room, I am on the other side with friends, and I feel your gaze, as I look up I see you looking at me, big beautiful eyes gleaming, a sheepishly smile on your face...but your eyes tell the whole story. Every beat in your loving heart shines through those eyes as they penetrate my very soul and that's where you want to look, and know that this soul belongs to you, in your arms, in your heart and in your trust. Knowing by looking at that stare, I am okay. I will never get hurt ever again. My baby is home now.

I know I am not always the easiest man to date. I do get angry or grumpy quickly when I don't get my way or if someone lied to me...but you know lying is the one thing I can't stand in life...cheat on me, leave me or kill my whole family but don't ever lie to me. I really get upset and beyond angry when that happens...but you also know that even though I sometimes get angry quickly that it only takes a long, firm hung and a wet passionate kiss for me to calm down and completely forget why I was angry. Okey, I give it to you, yes I always think that I know best - and most of the time I do. And I know that sometimes even when I know I am wrong I will continue pretending that I am right until you have me in a corner and I have to admit I was wrong...but I do. I always admit when I am wrong. Just like I always say I am sorry when I hurt you or argued with you when I was wrong. And yes, I am very very stubborn. I know. I just argue at a logical level thinking that if I can admit I am wrong, and apologize why can't you...and I will always remain stubborn or grumpy until you admit defeat or apologize. But then just like that I am cool and loving again. All of that is mostly just for show. Just to show you I do care. I do have feelings. I know my weakest link is that I struggle to talk about my personal feelings. I try very though...I was just brought up to be the rock in my family, to always be sturdy and and uncomplicated. To be there for everyone in dire times including myself. Holding everyone's (including my own) problems on my shoulders until they break but I will still continue to hold them no matter what. I love the people in my life, and I will ALWAYS remain a rock for them when they need a rock. I realise that sometimes gets me into trouble with you because you try to understand why can't I just tell you what's wrong, or what's on my mind. I promise I will do my best once you are in my arms to comply with my own high communication standards. If you will be patient with me and give me a chance and a little shove...that's one of the reasons why I love you. Because you are strong enough to tame the Rock and make him soft and warm again. I know I am sometimes very shy around people I don't know, and you are such an extrovert and just love people and meeting new ones and just bubbly...I promise I am enjoying myself I am just observing everyone for a few hours to know with whom can I kid and with whom should I best behave. That's all. But I get that it might frustrate you sometimes. I know I know, I take my healthy lifestyle and gym way too seriously! But I do it all for you as much as myself! You are my inspiration baby!

I am working extremely hard at work, to be stable and successful for when you decide to come to me. Finally my degree is also perfectly on track and I am having fun with my friends like I was never allowed to by previous failed lovers. I am not holding back and I know that's how you want me. Full of life and fun and laughter its one of the things you said drew you to me. Well I learned a lot of lessons in life. I have truly made bad mistakes...and I have also broken hearts, I am ashamed to admit it. I was a very wild, bad boy and a man that most women would find too rough or disgusting to be frank. But that man, that guy repulsed even me...and it is purely the thought of you, that made me want to be a better man. It does sound so cliche when I say this but its true. I looked at myself in the mirror one day, and I hated myself...I said to myself, my soulmate would never look twice at me and that's how I knew that I need to be a better man for you as much as for myself. I am.

Please come home baby!

Love,

Your Soulmate!

If Trees could Talk

2012-08-29T07:54:00.000-07:00

Not many of you know this about me, but I AM a very religious man - depending on what you define as religion. I know that many of you read my previous blog, and to some who know me, and to those who don't know me at all could get the wrong impression that I might be an atheist. Not true. As I said it only depends on how you define religion. I am not of the mind that so many of you are on when it comes to religion. Most are still in the primitive stage of believing the Word as it is written. Not metaphors. Not ideals. Not symbolism but The Word. I am not of that mind, I DO question everything because its very healthy for your spirit and your mind. Nothing beats the feeling of asking uncomfortable questions and getting the answers for them. So please don't forgive me if I sound a tad unreligious, because your opinion about me could not fucking move me if it was attached to a bulldozer driven by a talking elephant on anthrax!

But what do I believe in? If I could take a piece out of legendary comedian George Carlin's book (RIP) I want to say, that if I knew for a certainty that I believed in something with all my heart, being and very fibre that makes up my unholy spirit it would be the trees. Yes you read right...I said the Trees. For a few reasons...1. I can actually fucking see the trees around, there's no guessing whether they exist or not, 2. Trees are beautiful to look at, and every single tree in the world is different from the next, just like people. We are all of the same species, but we are so different, in personality, physical traits etc. 3. Trees give life, they clean the air so that we can breath, the shoot seed into the earth and grow more trees to make us healthier without us even asking for it. 4. We get wood from trees for: Fire, Building houses, Desks, Chairs, Canes for the elderly, weapons for hunting, war etc. Beautiful carvings and art, pencils, paper the list goes on (this is actually a very fun game...see how many things you can name we get from wood) 5. Trees give us herbs derived from dried leaves and bark for healthy living or better living. 6. Fruit grow on trees, so we get food from trees. Oh this list can go on and on and on. There is just so many reasons why we can not believe in the trees around us. But the most important reason why I believe in trees is 7. They are the perfect embodiment of life itself. When we look at a tree, really examine it through every season it goes through, the changes it goes through, the stability, the possibility of what every tree can be and become is exactly the greatest life lesson we could ever learn and we don't need a book bound in leather to teach us the most important lessons in life - I am not knocking anyone's believe systems nor my own because I do have solid belief systems, but what I am emphasizing is that we have become so naive that we don't notice the lessons in life itself. We are so concerned with finding the answers in church or in a book that have you ever stopped and really looked at nature, in its purest form created by a Supreme Being and Creator of life's grand design this is BEFORE church, temples and other forms of religious gatherings, BEFORE the Bible, the Torah and the Koran, BEFORE the Pope and Dalailama. This Supreme Being we each have different names for, created life and nature so intelligently that all the lessons we NEED to learn is all around us if we know where to look...and most of these lessons we can find in the trees.

Let me explain, if you want to be the best you can be...you first need to start with your roots, plant your roots firmly into the ground. This is defined by the words or beliefs you live by. If your Roots aren't tended properly and deep enough your tree will rot and die, or fall down with the first wind. The same with human, if your beliefs or life rails aren't perfected then you will collapse or run away and fail as a human being at the first sight of problems. And we fall hard and then normally we don't get back up. But if we are firmly rooted in our beliefs no wind can blow us down. What I would suggest as your roots choose something firm like "power words" e.g. Power, Beauty, Discipline and Respect. Four should suffice, but if you want more, that's fine, if you want less that's also cool, but choose carefully and make sure you are rooted in that, your entire life should be build around these words and beliefs.

Then we move up the tree and we get the branches. Every tree's branches needs to be trimmed and carefully cultivated to get the best results come summer. The same goes for humans, our branches is just an extended group of our beliefs, a little less important because the branches can not live without the roots, and if the branches are left to grow wild and too long it can pull the tree out of the ground roots and all. So we need to give attention to the branches of our life. This is again, to make it easier key words that build on the roots. E.g. Power would have extensions in Strenght (physically and emotionally), Health, Sturdiness, Will Power etc. the Branches must be atleast double the amount of your roots, so if you have four roots, you should have 8 branches of "extended beliefs". In our life and in the trees, the branches gives the tree body, the body creates shade for the hot summers and a stronger foundation for cold winters.

Next is the leaves. Leaves is the beautiful greenery that gives us shade, medicine etc. That can turn a simple tree into the most amazing source of life. The same for humans, the firmer and deeper your roots, the more branches you can have, and the more leaves your branches will carry. The more and bigger the tree, the stronger it will be and the longer happier life it will lead. Again this accounts for humans in the same way. Leaves are an even more extensive element of your belief system BUT leaves can be removed and replaced by other leaves, so now we can build on the branches and extend our beliefs even further, those who work can be kept, those who don't work will be shaked off and replaced by new ones come winter and spring. So when you choose your leaves, make sure you choose leaves that will benefit you in the long run. There is no right or wrong choice when it comes to your leaves...because they can be removed easily if they just don't do it for you. This is changebale beliefs or preferences such as My favorite colour is purple, this is not necessary the case for the entire duration of your life, as you get older you might get tired of the colour purple. And later decide green is your new favorite colour. BUT the leaves are what gives us character, it fills us up. So leaves are more feature characteristics of your life than belief systems, but the leaves, the characteristics are derived from the branches and the roots, from your beliefs. It is what makes you unique. Some trees have purple leaves, some have red leaves like the Jacarnda tree or Japanese Cherry tree, some have flat big leaves, some have prickly needle like leaves. The leaves are what makes the tree the most distinctive of all its features.

Finally comes the fruits. Most trees carry fruit, berries, nuts, acorns etc. This gives us food, and food gives us existence and sustanance, but it also gives us pleasure. Now don't worry about what your fruits have to be in life, because the fruits that your life tree will carry will come naturally if your roots are firm, your branches are cultivated and your leaves are dense. The fruits refer to the physical, external or material things we get in life this can be things such as a loving relationship with a life partner (that life partner is the fruit your tree bore), it might be amazing sex, money, a dream job, a house, a book whatever you derive sustanance and pleasure from THAT'S the fruits your tree are bearing. Sometimes its a surprise and we don't have control over it, sometimes we do. Just like a tree in a fruit might be as sweet as anything you have ever tasted or very bland, sour or bitter. It all depends on how your tree was taken care of.

But every tree needs water, sunshine and fresh air...well humans also need things to keep them going and strong. There are 7 basic Water Sources (as I call them) for life and this is the most important part. If a tree is not watered it WILL die. Your life is the same, if you do not water your life you WILL die and very prematurely. So what is the Water Source for your life? They are very basic: 1. Clean and Fresh Water, daily, 2. Enough Sunshine, 3. Fresh Air, 4. Excersise, 5. A good healthy diet, 6. Cleanliness and 7. Sufficient Sleep. If you take care of all these things your life tree will be sustained live a long very happy life.

We are withered down by the seasons, and every season is a new beginning in life. Just like every oppertunity is a new beginning. Trees face great summer, interesting Autumns, cold and hard Winters and very promosing Springs. In our lives we face the same cycles every day, every year and every decade. Change comes with the winds and the rustling of leaves. Embrace it like every tree embraces it with relish. But they stand strong and firm. Through all the changes and the whitherings of life. BUT trees are timeless. And so is Humanity.

May this be a very interesting blog for you today and may it make you bear wonderful fruits.

Shake!

Death to the Holy!

2012-08-22T10:28:00.002-07:00

Are we truly alive? Or are we all just stuck in jars filled to the brim with some kind of supreme being's piss all around us? Wave at the Castle in the sky and feel the light turn off all around you...we are nothing more than lights that light up the dark and when we all come to an end of our stream the light bulb blows out and the darkness surrounds us faster than the speed of thought. Is that even possible? What happened to the long outstretched murder of humanity? The four horsemen and angels with wings? Is it just me or is the world getting more fucking soft than ever before? Or are we actually getting harder by the day. More less of a care than we had a few hundred years ago. Being a guy who does not go through life with blinds over my eyes...I like to extend my horizons a lot. But what about death?

Too heavy for you? Think about this. KFC, McDonalds, Nando's, Burger King, Spur, Ocean Basket and Marilyn Manson. How long do you think you really have of living that dream fullfilled life you always wanted? Before you are 30 you will look like something the Big Foot crapped out in the ocean and mutated into some god unwilling human whale with more chins than Moby! You have to at one point in your life stop ans say...hey listen...did I just ate the last fucking daisy or was it made of plastic? Remeber those sweet dreams you had once upon a time for your life? Where are they when the great black Raven of the night folds its black wings around you and peck your eyes out for the long and eternal darkness. Is there fucking life out there???? Heloooo!!! Can you hear me? Are we even from the same forsaken species? Drooling in a muddy trench coat.

As I enter this dark night I ask you, where is my lantern? Can you light it for me and I will show you a new way of life...a new way of LIVING...not just the idea of life and a whole new way dying. The biggest question known to man kind, this was proven in an insignificant scientific study that nobody probably ever read, is "Is there something like Life after death?" only the second biggest or second most asked or worried about question in life is "Is there a God?" The reason for this, apparently, is that even people who don't believe in some kind of invisible man in the sky worry about why they exist, and is it all worth it. We as people want to know that all our efforts, and life long dreams that never came true because of corporate admin and hunched shoulder paper work was worth it, all the heart aches, broken souls, broken dreams, bad decisions, good decisions, good kisses, bad kisses, false pregnancy scares, real pregnancy scares and puking your lungs out at OppiKoppi was worth it. That life might somehow carry on and that your energy will some how carry your body in a transparent ghost like demeanor into some kind of promised land built somewhere in the sky that nobody can see unless you're dead. Let me settle down your thoughts and worries.

For this blog you need to set aside all your pre-conceived beliefs. For this instance I am going to ask you to forget all you know. Pretend for one second there is no such thing as heaven or a God. (I know for some of you this is where the blog ends...that's cool run along and go play with beardy) But for those who actually like to extend their minds let's go on. For the science nerds...what is the first law of hydrolics? The first law of hydrolics states: Energy can not be created or destroyed, but merely replaced of re-focussed. Keep this science lesson in mind. Its important. Let's think about movement energy, heat energy, hydrolic energy etc. All forms of energy is movement. You can not for the love of porn move your hand up and down without using movement energy, your heart can't pound without energy....if not for energy you can't do shit. No I am not talking about when the power trips and you can't watch tv or cook dinner without a fire. The energy I am talking about is all the billions and billions of energy particles in the universe that makes up the universe and everything in it. Even the chain you are sitting on or the bed you are sleeping on is energy...nothing more. We all know this since science in the 4th grade. If you didn't know this you were probably the kid smoking behind the bus stop and bunking class...there's no hope for you. Move on. Now think of yourself in the grander spectrum of the Universe...if everything in the Universe including yourself is nothing more than energy particles vibrating and constantly moving and attracting, detracting etc. That is all we are. Nothing more. Remember the first law of Hydrolics....aha! Bingo! You had that light bulb moment too didn't you? Energy can not be created or destroyed, but merely replaced or re-focussed. That means? Yes there is life after death...no not in a fucking castle in the sky ruled by a weird beardy man that has a love/hate relationship with humanity depending on what testament you read in the bible. Don't get me wrong...there probably is a weird beardy man somewhere in the centre of the universe...unlikely. But is there a First Energy Source at the centre of the Universe...the very very first energy particle to ever exist out of vibration and WILL. That we have painted a face over, dressed it in white rags and a snow white beard, and called it names through out our very existence; Amon-Ra, Zeus, Baal, Jahwe, Jesus, God? Sure that's possible. Does God exist...definately. Does he wear white rags and a weird OMO washed beard? Fuck no. We are "shaped in the image of God" that does not mean we LOOK like him. It means that we have a part of Him (or Her which ever you prefer) inside of us, all around us...what is that part? ENERGY. We ARE Energy. God IS energy. Is there a heaven? No! No! No! No! Open your pious eyes please I beg you!!! How can there be a magical place in the sky???? HOW!? You are already in the everlasting life that was promised. Because you CAN'T die!!! You are energy. Your life after death, given, is not what you hoped for because you WILL die and then you WILL become something else...your energy will be moved to a different location where it is needed. It might be a tree...the movement in a dog's bowels. So...

There is a possibility that all I just said is true...then again there is also the possibility that God is a weird old man, with a pointy long white beard sitting in a throne room in an invisible castle on a cloud looking down at this dumb motherfucker and ticking my name down in his little "black book" the one labeled: Going to Hell. Guilty then. But there is also the possibility that god does not exist...

...so, why worry about life, and whether there is life after death? Why worry about going to heaven or hell or the next OppiKoppi (which if you've been there atleast once in your life you will agree its best of heaven and hell) you only have one life in this body that you have been blessed with. Be grateful, to whatever or whoever you want to direct your grattitude towards...just be. Feel the joys of LIFE that's where we are at. We spend so much time talking and worrying about death...death...let me say it again...that cunt: death! Hey, wake the fuck up! You are ALIVE!!! Spend your focus, attention and devotion on LIFE not death. You only get one as it is. Make it count my beautiful babies.

Wake the fuck up and Shake Up your life! Sleep when you are dead and die when you are asleep! But Wake in life and live awake!

Shake!

Song of the Crow

2012-08-21T10:19:00.001-07:00

Ladies and gentle-men...I know, I know I have not blogged in a while and I have been putting it off for a while now. Why have I been putting off writing? Demons. Devils. Alcohol. Nicotene. Sex Addiction. Religion. the Universe. Creations went wrong. Drunken close calls. Traffic on the N1. Snow in Johannesburg. Life after Death. City lights. Dust in my ears and places not approriate for this blog. More demons and devils...

We (yes plural - as in me, and all the voices in my head) don't need to go into all the details. The point is I am here, typing away, half drunk, half alone and half mad. Only half though. But what is it that makes us feel home? Is it the familiarty? That feeling of I know this is where I belong because I know this place? It is familiar to me? Is it the smell? The smell of sex, sweat, cigarettes and a dustbin that has not been cleaned in months? Is that home? Or is home the place where you feel loved, and the possibility of being yourself? Or does it not have anything to do with any one of these things? Is it your life purpose that makes you feel home? But what is your life purpose? How do you even know this? Is it at all possible?

Yes this is what plagued me for the last two weeks. Okey, I admit I am not one for the whole melodramatical life stories and the first to roll my eyes when someone is faced with a "personal crisis", but for once in my life I have experienced one myself and it was not a pleasant experience. If not for my friends and my own sanity who knows if you would've even be reading this blog (a little bit too much drama? Fuck)
but its true...it was a couple of nights of hard drinking, hard smoking and yes this cowboy will admit it (even though this is the part I fucking hate most) a lot of hard body shaking crying. I was broken like never before in my life on this rusty planet that has lost its touch probably under the flood of Noah's Arc...but we press on...yes, my whole life I have been a hard ass, bad ass, unbent, unbroken nothing phases this mother fucking bold shaven cunt, like cowboys don't cry kind of re-puking shit like that. That was me...then well you all know the story, the woman whom I thought was the love of my life, my so called "soul-mate" (puke!) left me, words were said but the most important ones were left un-said. For the last year (yes its been a whole year) I have been pressing all the hate, anger, hurt, depression, unhappiness and lonliness down like a teenage virgin getting banged in a Corrola in a parking lot.

Why now? I have asked myself that very question for the last 2 weeks...why now indeed? Fuck. Wish I knew. But I do have a theory. Maybe for the first time in my life I have truly given my heart and soul to someone and I was re-paid by a crown of thorns...meaning I was deceived from beginning to end. I was treated like a king but was so high on the crown I was wearing that I didn't realise there were thorns digging into my skull the whole time. I was a king alright...just a king of fools and the laughing stock of some random girl's jape. Okey saying she was random is going a bit too far perhaps...bitch is more appropriate? She always fancied being a bitch anyway (all girls thinks its soooo cool to be labelled a bitch apparently) so there she can wear that one like a proud queen of bitches! There is one thing I despise in the human condition and that is the need to tell lies. I can handle mostly anything, cheat on me, kill me, hit me, break me, steal from me I will always forgive you and look pass those things and see the good in you...BUT DON'T EVER FUCKING LIE to me!!! That to me is the worst sin of all. Why do we feel the need to lie. If you don't like me, don't pretend you do, if you don't love me don't tell me you do just because that's the type of thing you say in a relationship, if you are not fucking HAPPY then open your cock hole and spill the seed! Is it so goddamn hard to just be straightforward and say what you want to say. I don't care what people think of what I have to say...do you know why? Because I know I am being honest and true, to myself and that's the most important thing in life. I do have family who read my blogs, I have very close friends and yes even my mother tried reading it once - probably blushing all the way through it - and the one thing I know my mother would always tell me, she did all the way when I was a child: Be true to yourself and others, always. Why do we have this need that the moment we are in the company of people we should be "decent" infront of we suddenly put on this fake mask and pretend to be something we are not? I have never done it, and I never will. In school I was viewed as the typical "jock" stereotype...but was I a jock? Did I hang out with all the jocks in one corner and dated the plastics and the cheer-mouths? No I didn't because that wasn't me. And we all know Highschool can be brutal especially in small schools and especially to kids who have parents as teachers...I had both those things and still I did not allow peer pressure or the need to be "cool" push a mask down on me and become something I was not. Because I would keep reminding myself of what my mother said...Be true to yourself and others around you, be who YOU are. To this day this holds up. So thanks mom!

But getting back to the song I am quothing, I was hurt, broken and bent by one silly girl - it was incredible how one person can break your very existence. To this day only one of my friends TRULY know how badly I was hurt by her. The others won't know because talking about it soon gets me into a sprinkler frenzy its still very hard for me. And here is my theory why...she was HOME.

Home is not what is familliar to you. It is not where you cook your dinner. It is not where you sleep or take a shit or fuck. It is NOT where you pray and kneel to a diety - that is NOT why we were given life on earth, if you truly believe in a deity then this will hold up for you, if you think the only purpose of life is so that you can subjected and submitted to an invisible man in the sky you seriously need to get your head checked out. If you believe in a deity that's cool with me...I do to sometimes, and sometimes I don't - the presence is always there in my life and I acknowledge that but I don't build my life around it and neither should you. Life was given to us to be happy, to love, to be successful to ENJOY!!! in ABUNDANCE!
Home is where your heart lies. Its as simple as that...or is it, think about the concept giving your heart to someone or something. You often hear people say I lost my heart on this place or that place, I have given my heart and soul to this person or that person...do you really grasp what it means? This is for the haters who love breaking hearts...do you REALLY know what it means when someone gives their heart up...let me put it in simple terms: If I take kitchen knife, and cut the fucking thing out of my chest...imagine it, blood squirting everywhere as I cut the blade in my chest, stab past the chest bone and with a sawing action cutting my heart out then before I collapse I give it to you...do you think I can still exist after that ordeal??? Didn't think so. With love for something or someone its the same...it litteraly means that I have changed my life to revolve around you...you ARE my heart beat...every beat of the heart is for you and because of you. Literally...heart and soul baby! It means: don't fuck with me bitch I will die without my heart and you have my heart (theres the drama queen bit again) but seriously, its serious deal giving your heart to someone. Obviously I don't mean literally, but it is like giving you whole LIFE for another person your home is where your heart is. Really it is.

So maybe today, you have felt that alone feeling that I have been plagued with. Just remeber one thing, that no one is alone. We are all end up homeless in the end and if you are currently homeless...push through the winter, the spring is coming. The world revolves around you...yes it does, don't let anyone else tell you differently! Everything is FOR you. Grab hold of your pillow, hug it tight, close your eyes and sing your crow's song...cry as much as you can, laugh as much as you want...and hug your friends and people that mean something to you more often than not! Tomorrow might never come, and you might be homeless and you might die homeless (like me) just remeber the wheel is turning at the same speed as for everyone else. No one has anything against you as long as you stay true! To yourself, and everyone around you! Grow a pair...say what you want to say to that someone special or not so special, do what you always wanted to do and embrace the cold. Today is the day that you learned about where home is...don't give your heart away too soon like I did...because then you end up homeless and alone until lady death wraps her raven black wings about you and carries you off. Be careful with your heart, because your heart IS your home.

I hope this was a gentler Shake Up than most!

Shake!

Sex, Masterbation & Cunnilingus!!!

2012-08-03T06:47:00.002-07:00

That got your attention didn't it? Ofcourse it did, why wouldn't it? All the fun stuff we as humans do all piled into one sentence!! Goodness, so you think this is going to be a pretty fun blog to read...you are already sitting upright and waiting to choke the chicken and rub the frog's back because we all know Shake - he is one kinky kickass bastard! Well sorry to dissappoint you but this blog will have absolutely nothing to do with any of those things. Today's blog, as the weekend arises, will be about humanity, what controls us, what doesn't, what we do and what we say basically all things so fucking pathetic about the human race including the fact that some of you got extremely excited by reading that poor illusioned and magnified title while others blushed and some grabbed the phone to probably call every single family member I have to scold them for raising a man who talks openly about this kind of perverted stuff for the whole world to see. Alas...keep you fart stained bloomers in tact I'm a thong man I don't wanna see your disgusting big ass bloomers no matter how comfortable they are! What this blog might or might not be about is the pathetic syndrome of the human race to just plainly be disgusting - it has everything to do with sexiness yes, has nothing to do with sex! My opinion on sex thinly veiled, thin yes...but veiled none the less. If you wanna know those intriguing parts - and I promise you they are - you have to get off your lazy ass back and put your fucking heart out of the dark, moth ball stinking cuppard you have hid it away, and find out what my fucking sensations are all about first hand. Don't ever expect to read them here. Now some of you went "Aaaw damn" others went: "thank God!" and some of you just don't give a fuck anyway you read my blog because you are my best friends, my family, my fans, or just some poor bloke killing time at an airport in Moscow. It doesn't matter I write because I love it and you read it because my blog is different to most.

But before I start this one - and it is going to be a shocker - I first have a score to settle with someone. Calling you out right now: Rebecca "Scuba Diver" Christensen!!!! Alright, so I am minding my own business "working" extremely hard or pretending to do so. And I get this very random message from the Scuba Diver - wishing me well for my birthday BUT (yes there is always a but in there when a beautiful woman randomly contacts you for no real particular reason) she wants to give me a pointer on my blog. So like all writers do when someone criticize their work....I kind of started building up a big drop of shit inside my bowels with her name on it. Because yes one does get offended at hindsight when you think you are doing such a fucking good job at something that's a passion to you and someone runs in to smash it up. So the "pointer" was that my blogs are too long. Most blog readers only have 20minutes to read it per day and that the blogs get so long that they don't have the time to read the rest of my blogs. On that note I am giving you three points of redundancy: Redundancy point number 1: If you think my blogs are too long try reading a Dan Brown novel! They are not long and I have read all of them under 10minutes...either have a checkup on your eye sight or stop browsing for porn while you read my blogs! Redundancy point number 2: If you complain you only have 20minutes to read them per day I seriously worry about your time management skills as I do recall we have about 12 to 10 hours per night doing shit jack and redundancy point number 3 trying to change a writer's writing skill by shortening it is like cutting off a dog's penis and tell him to go mate with a cactus! Just playing with you Rebecca - I still love you in your scuba suit!

But on that note, I have to explain the length of my blogs to you. I don't do short silly doodles. If I wanted to I would write a blog every single day, about the most fuckedup and useless crap and waste your time anyway. But I don't do that, I only write once or twice a week and I write about stuff I really feel passionate about. Now feeling passionate about something is serious work. On the long blogging issue it was suggested to me that when I do have something serious and long to say I should split them up in segments and publish a segment each day....okey that's just fucking redundant. Let me explain way before that scuba suit gets all brown faced! When you think about something that is important to you and you feel passionate about you don't think about it in segements. You don't have a thought today, then interupt your own thoughts for the day, and continue where you left off tomorrow do you? If you do we have a name for it: schizophrenia! In the same way you don't hold a conversation with a mate today, in the middle of your conversation hang up the phone and phone back tomorrow and just take off where you left it the day before. You don't interup yourself. Look this blog is my voice. This is what I use to talk about everyhting I feel passionate about, like you know already I had to learn a pretty damn hard lesson about NOT talking one I will regret till the day I day. But I learned the lesson nonetheless and this is me putting that lesson into action. My friends know me, I don't get deep and philosophical with them when we are partying or just hanging out. We don't. Because they know when I start talking I don't stop and for fuck sakes it gets fucking heavy and boring when all you wanna do is get smashed on the tequila but one yapper can't shit his pie hole and dragging the party down to a deep philosophical level. So no I don't talk to my friends about the things I blog about. I keep my lives seperate. The same would be for me being in a relationship I won't get all deep and emotional with a girl because it gets tiring. God I tire myself out some times when I am constantly on this deep level of emotional communicating - even if it is just with the voices in my head! Alright but back to the point, this blog is my voice...I am not going to interupt my voice as I am voicing my passions and deep emotional understanding on life. Because this is my blog. Not yours. Not your mother's. MINE! I do apologise if it is anoying to some, but that seriously is your problem. I will just be getting my Jackie Daniels tonight and laughing myself shitless while I write another, and another and another. I really don't care. Not to say that I don't appreciate the feedback, I really do. Because the whole thing is after a writer got all blown up and constipated about receiving critique he/she realises that listen, this really is good advice and you can become a better writer. I do value criticism a lot. It comes with studying Audiovisual as I did - all your work is always being critiqued, it comes with being an artist or growing up with an aritst who also knows the value criticism in your work it comes with dating someone long enough that you only hear criticism night in and day out. Look criticism is what makes us better as people BUT let's not criticize small things that you find a PERSONAL iritation with. Yes there might be more than one person who don't like my long blogs...but that is your personal opinion not criticism. And I can't take it as such. The whole reason behind my long blogs is, as I told Rebecca, it is what makes my blog different, I have a lot to say and when I say it I put it all down at once, and move on to the next issue when it arises. I don't interupt my thoughts and I don't interupt your reading pleasure with lazy writing. I prefer to give my readers a full bodied blog to read and enjoy - even if it is a little bit longer than most - but knowing that I said all I wanted to say, and you were entertained, informed and really got value from my blog. So that you don't feel you just wasted your time on a ridiculous mind fucking blog that has less of a point than a Monkey chucking his own spermballs around at passing humans. So there you have it. I hope that you guys will understand my blog a little bit better.

Now back to my sexy blog...or is it?! Today I was walking around on campus today, looking at the students, just looking at their behaviour and eaves dropping on converssations from time to time. I saw a few sexy girls and a few not so sexy one's I saw a couple of jocks, some pot heads and even some lazy slobs wearing slippers and sweat pants. And you know what I thought? Holy Ass Fucking Catholic Priest! Humanity is really a disgusting concept. For all the religious freaks I know your hair will be raising to the roof right now. But that doesn't matter because yes I am religious. Probably not in the way you might think or expect me to be but yes I am religious. Do I still think humanity is a disgusting idea? Hell yes! Have you ever stopped for a few seconds and just LOOKED at what is going on around you. Read the papers, listen to the newspaper, watch the news, listen to friends talking, hear the vibes around you. People dropping lines left right and centre. Giving up easily on life, love and happiness just because something didn't go your way. I heard people blaming God for things that goes wrong to them. I have heard people not blaming God for what went wrong with them. We are just never ever fucking sattisfied are we? I will be taking another heart felt stab at the ladies right here. I compare the whole screwed up mentality of humanity on you! Harsh? Fuck no! Here let me hold up the mirror for you: Women are attention whores! Men to, all humans are but women most of all! Here is how it works: If I (as a man) don't give a girl enough attention she flips out, cries, screams, fights and runs away because "you never pay attetnion to me" or "I don't get enough attention from you" BUT when we DO give you enough attention you flip out, cry, scream and fight and runs away because NOW I am a needy, compulsive freak who is smothering you. And oh god that classic gold nugget excuse: "I WANT to miss you" yeah right and I wanna slit my wrists just to have a reason to put a bandaid on! WTF! This has in effect turned the human race on its fucking head! How the hell am I as a man suppose to know what the fuck am I or am I not to do in life or treat you if you don't even know what the fuck you want! Look we condition ourselves to be a certain way. And this behaviour is classic of never being happy with what you got. Always looking for something else and once we have it its still not enough.

I used to think that my ideal woman was someone who is always content with what she has (meaning me), is aboslutely incredibly sexually charged up (what guys doesn't want this), loyal, loving, DEVOTED, and will never ever give up and always keep building on a relationship. But I realised all those things have become pretty damn redundant in this world today because humans don't know what devotion means, its just a romantic IDEA to us, humans don't know what loyalty is because we run away once problems arrise in the work place, the love place or the happy place. We just give up and run away. We don't know what true intimacy and sexual health means because we are so fucking scared that if we admit how horny we are someone is going to condemn us to hell - wake the fuck up! We are all going to end up there anyway! By the rate we live. We don't know what trust means again its just an idea, we have no fucking CLUE what team work means! Even though we are constantly surrounded by it. Humans wants everything so damn easy. We just want to sit on our lazy asses and hope for everything to fall into our laps. That ideal house, work, lover, relationship, pay check all of it. We just WANT WANT WANT but we don't want to get our hands dirty. Its too much effort and it takes too long!

Too long? What is too long? I am so sick of people saying I don't have the time: Yes I know you don't have the time moron! Because TIME does NOT EXIST!!! Its a man made measuring stick! The Universe does not care about where you have to be at 5 o'clock! It only cares about what should happen to you on your life path the when and how is of no concern. Whigners all of you!

Just to prove a point I am giving the whigners a bone here....as SOMEONE whigned about my blog being too long I will make my case and point. And shortend today's blog with about 2000 words.

Hope this proves a point deeper than a petty complaint. Think about what you are missing out in life because you whigne all the time...like the rest of this blog! ;)

Shake the fuck Up people!

Celebrating Life

2012-08-01T02:47:00.002-07:00

Life is truly beautiful - yes I know, its quite corny to start off a blog with such a cliche opening, but bear with me. Last night I celebrated my birthday. Now for my close friends who knows me quite well, they know I have never been the type of guy who likes celebrating my birthday. I have always had a very cynical outlook on the whole Birthday Celebration thing...I mean, for me its not an accomplishment. Its not really the type of thing I had any control over. Two people loved each other, they had an idea to have children and about 28 months later I was born. I did not ask to be in the world, I did not create or design myself. I wasn't a little bundle of energy sources that decided that I'm gonna manifest into a little squeling pink thing and crawl out of a woman's womb. No, I had not control. I had no say in the matter so why celebrate it? I mean having your birthday makes you older...that means in effect that I am yet another year closer to being old, physically useless and not being able to take care of myself propperly and eventually die. Why on earth would anybody want to celebrate this? So you see I never had a very positive outlook on the whole birthday thing. But that was then...this is now. And it is about the Now that this blog will be all about.

See my life changed drastically about 10 months ago...most of you know the story, I lost the love of my life, lived in my car for more than a month. And a lot of things just came tumbling down in this dire time of my life. I was depressed, looked for many things to escape from the hell hole I was in. I decided to blame everything and everyone in my life for the situation I was in. Eventually I discovered the power of the mind, positive attitude about life and basically started realising that every problem I had in my life started with me. My attitude was very negative, everything that went wrong in my life at that time I was attracting to me via my thoughts, worries and stress. But it all changed. I did pick myself up like I never did before. It started with a simple list. A list of things I was unhappy with, with myself. But when I wrote this list I did not write it in the negative tense...I did not write down: I don't like myself because I can't talk about my feelings and always keep them bottled inside until they explode. No I wrote it in the positive tense: I want to learn how to make my feelings clear and communicate better. Basically a list of things I wanted to change in my life. I wrote down the list every single day. And every day the list will grow and everyday I would put it in a box and tomorrow start from scratch again. This continued for a while until the message sunk in, the message of: I am responsible for my own life, who I am, who I was and what I want to be. And that is the true beauty of life. Very few people understand this and they choose to believe that your life is not in your own control, that somehow God or a Divine Being is guiding your every step that it was chosen for you even before you were born. If you are one of those people, wake the fuck up! If you are religious and you believe in a Divine Being that has given you life and FREE WILL then NO! No one is controlling your life, no one has planned out your future and where you want and should go. That's all you buddy!

Let me break it down for you what I believe, you don't have to agree - it doesn't matter to me. I believe that we were all given the gift of Life. With no expectations except on one condition: That YOU take responsibility for the life that was given to you. Almost like when your parents buy you a house pet like a puppy. Most often they will buy you a puppy and tell you: You can have a dog, BUT the dog will be YOUR responsibility. You will feed it, you will train it, you will clean up after it and when the dog dies by your faults don't come crying to us. This dog will be your responsibility. Well life is the same. You were given life with the only condition that you take care of your own life, your own destiny. You have to take care of yourself, feed yourself, train yourself, clean up after yourself be what is best for yourself. Period. YOU are responsible for your own life. I mean come on are you so ungrateful for the wonderful gift of life that you EXPECT the Divine Being who gave you life to also take care of you? Over 7 billion of us?! How can you expect that? You want to receive the puppy and don't do shit with it, let your parents take care of the dog they bought YOU after you begged them! Take a look at yourself if you are one of those people...wake up, get your attitude in check and stop being such a fucking moron!

YOU choose what you wanna be when you grow up, YOU choose who your life long friends will be, YOU choose where you want to live and work, YOU choose the life partner you want to spend the rest of your life with, YOU decide what type of person you want to be. What personality traits you want to keep and which ones to change. YOU are in control of your own life! That is the beauty of it. You can be anything you want to be, anyone you want to be. Its a matter of choice and attitude.

This was the realisation I had after the most difficult time of my life, and right then and there I took control of my life. I have changed so much over the last 8 months. People who knew me a year a go will not recognize the man that I am today. And yes I am really proud of myself...proud of the new me, the man I have become. I amaze myself every day. A few weeks ago my mother told me that she is very proud of the man that I have become and how I picked myself up. I can not explain to you how that felt to me, because it was fairly unexpected. I knew the changes in myself...but I did not really know whether the people in my life could see the changes in me, because sometimes we really get stuck behind a veil of impression and we stick to it. Very few people alive are prepared to wipe your slate clean and concentrate on who you are NOW but rather choose to remember who you WERE. Which is quite sad. Because one of the remarkable things about life is that it is in a constant state of flux. Its ever changing! Life will NEVER stagnate. You see it in the day to day activities of nature. One moment it will be sunny and clear skies and within an hour a wild wind will kick up and before you know it its rain and thunder every where. It is true that the wind's direction change up to 7 times a day. That's because nothing stays the same. Its ever changing. People are the same. Instead of retreating from uncertainty and change...try emrbacing it for a change! You will feel the change immediately.

Well getting back to my birthday...I decided that this year I will not celebrate my birthday but rather celebrate LIFE. The great gift I was tasked with so many years ago. My life. Just the fact that I came so far in my own personal growth and that I have the oppertunity to shape my life in any way I want to. On od the gifts I gave myself as a celebration was a tattoo. Now the tattoo is very simple, its a boabab tree (an indigenous African tree - to celebrat my heritage) secondly the boabab tree is a tree that lives forever. Which is a beautiful symbol for life in itself. Life itself is everlasting, in nature, in humans, in energy etc. And just like our own lives a tree goes trhough changes between seasons. Now its important to note the tree is a winter tree (no leaves) except for one leaf on a branch in the form of a heart, to symbolize love. What the tattoo means is it is a plain reminder that how sturdy we must be, firmly rooted in life, and never ever give up, never let the seasons of your life and love get you down. The winter tree is a remarkable symbol to remind me that in life we will always face dificulties, we will always undergo a so called winter season in our own lives. As we all know winter is a tough season, its dead, its dull and its cold. Mostly like the conditions when we are going through difficult times. But the remarkable thing about winter is that it changes. It doesn't stay cold, dead and dull forever...because what comes after winter? Spring! The blossoms on the trees, warmer weather, beautiful rain and after that? Summer, when the trees have bloomed, and they carry green leaves and they look their best. And life is the same...yes we undergo winters in our own lives, but it never ever stays winter. When do we get stronger? When do we learn the most about our capabilities? When do we truly change and become better human beings? When the chips are down and we are crawling in the mud, been knocked down by life....but always remember that it is in winter that you will be the strongest than you will ever be, to withstand the cold, the deadness and dullness of life's season you are in and ALWAYS right after the winter, the spring comes. And after tough times, you change, you become a better person you start to blossom and eventually carry green leaves and be the best that you can be! The heart symbolises the first blossom of spring. And it also reminds me that love is the same....when we are in a relationship there will always be times and cycles when the chips are down, when things aren't going as great as we would like it to go...why? Because its natural, its the cycles of life. BUT never ever give up on what you have...rememeber that after the toughest winters comes the best blossoms. When your relationship is down and faltering and going through a tough time...just push through TOGETHER because right after that you will be stronger and a more beautiful couple than ever before. And I wish I could tell you it will always be spring and summer thereafter, but we both know that it won't because the cycle needs to start again. Autumn will come and eventually another winter. But never ever lose sight of what comes after winter.

This is one of the most beautiful lessons I have ever learned and I learned it in trying times for myself. I realised that life is about growing, about getting stronger every time, about dying in the winter so that you can blossom in the spring. And no matter what happens to you, you will always come out so much stronger than ever before. Because that's life. I went from living in my car, no love, a broken heart, very few friends that I could call my best friends, negativity and self hate and doubt TO having my own cozy apartment with amazing furniture and decor, all the love I could ever need (friends and family), a content and mended heart, amazing friends that all pitched for my Life Celebration party and who I never ever want to be without even for a second, extremely life depth and positivity and above all else self acceptance, forgiveness for myself and those who hurt me and confidence that I have never experienced before. And this is ONLY spring! I can't wait for my summer! And yes I look forward to what tests the next winter will bring me because I know that even then I will become even MORE complete and stronger in my own life. Life is simple, take control, be grateful and never ever give up! Its ever changing, nothing will ever be the same. And that is our advantage when we are down.

So yes, Life is wonderful! I am grateful to part of it.

I want to leave you with a quote from one of my favorite movies; Ridley Scott's Robin Hood:

Rise and Rise Again, Until Lambs Become Lions. (think on this and realise what it means and shake it up in your own life)

Thanks for reading! I hope today I made a difference in your life!

Shake

Men: Secrets Revealed!

2012-07-26T07:22:00.003-07:00

After my last blog The Commited Player, I had some really amazing feedback from the ladies. Literally a couple of ladies phoning me up congratulating me with the post, asking advise about their boyfriends - one lady asked me to help her get a good man! Do I look like the One Stop Boyfriend Shop?? (Just kidding Minx - I love you still) But what I seemed to have sparked from that particular Shake Up was women's hunger to know more about men...and that is a good start. Knowlegde is power. You won't go attempt to write a physics exam without studying would you? Well some of you crazies would! So why do we as people attempt to date the opposite sex without knowing anything about them - ofcourse you are gonna FAIL! A big red F on your score card! If I could count all the F's on my report card I would seriously ask my money back. I don't pretend to know much about women, I do learn about them as I go, I grew up with two wonderful women in my life and my whole life I have been surrounded by them. So I know a bit, and I pick up a lot of stuff but do I KNOW women inside out? Clearly not! But I try, and I guess in this life that's all that counts. The same goes for women, very few women can claim they know anything about men...and yes fellas that is our own fault, because we try to play things pretty close to chest, we refuse to show emotion, we refuse to talk about ourselves and in the process withold vital information for the ladies...then we get frustrated "because she doesn't understand me" and she gets frustrated because "I don't understand him" its this sick cycle, frustrations keeps building up, small things start to iritate each other - stupid things that is just plain idiotic....but it all boils down to the frustration of she's not treating you the way you want and she doesn't understand you, you are a closed book to her, when she tries to pry you open you shut down and bolt the locks and actually get frustrated because she is trying to understand you. But you as a guy don't talk about the things you want, so she is playing the guessing game all the time and she gets it wrong and you blame her or resent her for it. Come on guys! Sharpen up! The same goes for the ladies, I said in my last post, women think for some fuckeup reason that men can literally smell their feelings - we can't! I guarentee you that! Men are simple minded, and let's face it plain stupid when it comes to emotional issues. We need you to spoon feed us. So I am calling up again couples: TALK! TALK! TALK! Not about what you had for lunch....talk about the real serious issues that arises in your relationship. But okey enough about that lecture. I promised some girls I will be spilling the beans today to give them an edge...for the guys who are getting pretty nervous around now (you should - cause we are pretty damn screwed up) piss off this is to your benefit as much as it is to the ladies. They will have the edge on how to treat with a man and you will benefit from that gents. Just do your part as well and learn your lady's ins and outs. What I admire about women is their desire to learn, to do things right. Ladies are pretty much the definition of people pleasers - nothing wrong with it, you can be proud about it because you try your physical best to make life pleasing for everyone around you ESPECIALLY your man. Ladies take a bow, and gent applaud as loud as you can because women are amazing, sometimes pretty damn fuckedup, but amazing nonetheless. Alright ladies, so here it is...the shortly anticipated blog about men, I hope it helps, and arms you with the right tools to tie down your man or the man you want! After each section I will give you a tip, see it as the answer on how to deal with your man in this specific regard. I promise you it will make a world of difference in your relationship, understanding men or approaching the man you want.

Let's start with 1. The Social Perception of The Man:

The man's role according to society is the provider, protector and rock of civilazation. That is how the world perceives the man. We have to bring the bread to the table, you have to protect our family from criminals, we have to fight wars to protect our countries and we have to be strong during adversity. When something bad happens to world leans on the male shoulders. This perception of men have forced us to be tough, mentally and physically - let's face it the male body is stronger than the female body, we are built bigger and stronger for heavy lifting, building, grafting and protecting. Furthermore male pshycology is built around not showing emotion - from the moment we can understand sentences we are taught "men don't cry", "stiffen that upper lip soldier", "your a strong boy, you can handle it" and that does stick, believe it or not. And as you get older the moment you do show hints of emotion your peers call you out for being a whimp - not because of a new perception but because we are all raised to be strong and content with difficult situations, not to show weakness and when we do, we as men criticize each other for that. This I want to be clear on, its not women who criticize a crying man, its men who criticize other crying men. And when we are with other men we want each to be the toughest one in the group - not always possible because yes, in a male group there IS an unofficial designated alpha male. But it doesn't change the fact that we all WANT to be the alpha male in a group of men - that answers the question why men act like jerks when they are with their friends. Because each one tries to assert dominance over the group, and that includes showing off your male prowess over women, I'll admit our perception of prowess of women are extremely dented. We are egotists, yes I've said it. All men are about their egos. Why? Because we are told from a young age how we should each be a rambo, a knight in shining armor, a hero, a soldier, a tough guy and ofcourse we must be BETTER than the guy next to you. Strive for dominance, for perfection. You should not only be a knight but rather THE knight, who saved the day. Not just a soldier but THE soldier who dived on a grenade and saved the day. So you see, we have been programmed to be the best and toughest and most domanant of all the men in the world. As I said, this is never possible, because somewhere in the world there will always be someone better than you. A lesson I learned when I was in my prime of my athletic capabilites. That brings me to sport. Sport all round is mostly a male dominated profession or after time. What do we learn in sport? To be competative, to win, to be the best, to beat your opposite number on the field. So when you look at these lessons we learn as kids, things should be starting to make sense to you why we sometimes act as jerks, why we refuse to cry, why we shut our personal emotions down and act the all Clint Eastwood cowboy. That brings up another image of the movies we watch...have you ever watched a truly remarkable film where the male protagonist is a small, scrawny whimp of a guy who cries when he stubs his toe? No! They are all handsome, buff and can leap over tall buildings, go beyond human possible strength and absolutely never ever cry in the face of adversity but they stick it through! This also builds on the whole egotistical evolution of the male perception. Suddenly we are all sitting in a movie theatre and the male protagonist is an absolute hunk with ripped abs and he is the strong tough guy that saves the damnsil in destress. Guess what, its not only men who notice this social construct of what the "ultimate" man should look like - we KNOW you, ladies, are also watching, and you cry and gasp and get excited and I am pretty sure wet too! We notice! We know what women expect from us. That's why we try so hard to be the ulitmate tough guy. A few weeks a go, a gay lady friend of mine flirted innocently with me and told me if she would ever go straight, I would be the man she would go straight for. I asked her why? Naturally. And her answer was: Because you are handsome and a real MAN. A man's man. I can not describe to you what a major ego boost that was for me, it felt like I just saved the day against an evil tyrant. Why? Because a lady confirmed to me that I am a MAN, a real tough man's man! What we were assigned to be since the doctor discovered my penis on the screen in his office. So naturally I am like: Fucking A! I'm a MAN yeah! Ladies, we strive to be tough, we try our utmost best to be the rock YOU can lean on, we have this fantasy that when things go wrong you will run into our arms, tears streaming down your face and we can wrap you tight and whisper in your ear: You are safe NOW. Get it? The last NOW? As in NOW that you are with ME. And it won't hurt if the girl in the fantasy is absolutely godsmackingly beautiful either. Take this information, reflect upon it. Open your eyes and SEE what society have turned men into. We weren't born like this ladies, some of us don't even WANT to be like this. I know at times in my life I felt I just want to break down and cry like a little girl. You see that? Read that sentence again, what's wrong with it? Yes even you picked up on it...the "crying like a little girl" part, made you feel a tiny bit uncomfortable didn't it? And your a woman, you always encourage us to express our feelings. But even you cringed at that thought of a man sinking to his knees and just let loose and cry like a little girl...its wrong because I am not a girl, I am a boy...I have the cock to prove it. But see, even women's perception of men is to be tough, it feels unnatural for a guy to act like a woman. To you, to us, to society (here I am not even going into the whole gay male flapping queen thing - whatever makes you happy, let's just confirm this post is about the heterosexual male) and the whole point of all this is that we KNOW! Women think they have it hard when they open a magazine and see what the "perfect woman" should look like....seriously, you think you have it hard? Try living in a man's world where you have all this weight and expectation forced on you: You must be tough, you must be the hero, you must provide for a whole family - no not just for yourself but for yourself AND 3-4 other beings, you must protect, you must be strong - then women come in and pile on: you must be sexy, you must be handsome, you must be well groomed, you must be good in bed. Seriously ladies...all you have to worry about is hitting the gym to look good. Stop complaining about how you are objectified as sex objects you have NO idea what pressure is! Then let's add to that...women expect all this of men, and yes we expect it from ourselves as well, but then we are expected to "hunt" the woman of our dreams....yes WE have to make the daunting cross over the room to go talk to the sexy girl in the corner sitting with her witches covenant and building up courage to introduce yourself just to get shot down. You ladies have it easy...when you are all grown up, all you need to worry about is looking good and perhaps learning to cook however nowadays men seem to be enjoying that more than women do (I for one do), because you will have a big strong handsome man protecting you, providing for you, caring for you and guess what HE had to go CONVINCE you that he is the best man for you. You just have to sit there and look pretty okey sometimes you have to lay on your back - same priciple you don't do SHIT! We do everything. So please excuse us if the pressure sometimes gets to us and we shut down emotionally. Okey okey, I know in today's world very few women expect a man to provide for them, and good for you there is nothing sexier than an indipendant woman who fends for her own bread and butter....but guess what, we will never see it that way. As men we are the providers and we will always be that even when you earn more than me. Its programmed into our culture that we MUST provide, but ladies before you get all offensive about it, let me tell you a secret: we really enjoy it. We don't complain, we will always appreciate it if things are down to the last bread crumbs and you can pitch in but trust me, we enjoy providing it give us purpose, a sense of being a man. Take that away from us and you take away part of our manhood. And if there is one thing that will guarentee you an unhappy relationship then that is taking away your man's manhood (Im not talking about keeping sex from him or chopping off his balls but his sense of purpose, you take that away and suddenly we don't know why the fuck are we on earth, from the age of three years old we are told to protect, provide and pursue - the 3 P's of manhood, that's all we know. Please don't take it away from us) Keep this in your heart. And remeber this when you ask yourself why are we so thick, or such jerks with other men, or so stubborn when it comes to paying for dinner. Let's move on.

# Tip: Just accept this about men. If you want to love your man for who he is and truly understand the bricks he is made of, just accept this. This is who we are and nothing is going to change that. If you want to change that try cutting your steak with a spoon and she how well it works. The way we are works for society. It has up to this point and it will keep doing so. All that CAN change is your own way of understanding men and how you could help ease your own relationship onto a better course. Knowledge is power.

2. What Men Really Want:

This is something I think most women struggle with and the answer you created for yourself is: Sex! Yeah! How many times have I heard this one: All you want is sex! All you think about is sex! Am I only good for sex? Sex sex sex! Right? WRONG ladies!!! If you think men only think about sex whole day then I would like to hear your logical explanation how male doctors performs daily life saving operations on people, how do men make a success of their work and bring the food to the table, how did MEN invent cars, how did men invent the plane, the stove, the light bulb, electricity, the computer, your beloved blackberry, the telephone and every singel goddamn thing in this world! How did men build the hous you live in? The bed you sleep on! All things made by MAN! Not WOman. Its not a jape on women, no but if you know anything about sex you will know once your mind has gone into lust mode nothing else matters. So if we can only think of one thing how the fuck do we make a living!? The whole world will go on stand still mode if we did only think about sex all day long. If you only wanted sex from women, every god damn woman would be a billionaire prositute, because why the fuck must I endure years of marriage, fights, accusations, dinners, a whole fucking white wedding and whining from Monday to Sunday if all I want is sex? Gosh then I will rather pay a woman R600 an hour and get what I want and move on! Seriously! Wake up ladies! Stop using that old spent excuse for trying to figure men out. If we were that simple then all relationships would have been as easy as spreading your legs and closing your eyes. Well is it? No its not! Why? Because sex is not all we think about! Yes its true we LOVE sex! Fuck! Have you ever had sex? Have you ever had an orgasm? If you haven't then shut the fuck up you don't know what you are talking about. If you do then you will agree sex is not good...its fucking amazing! Guess what else is fucking amazing...Rugby! Football! Sport! And tell me whether this is true your sport loving man gets super enthusiastic when he starts talking about his favorite sport?! Yes? Ofcourse because its all we have to take away the daily pressure of being a man! We love sport! We love talking about it! We love watching it! We love playing it! So yes, its the same with everything we love! We love sex! We love talking about sex! We love wathcing porn! We love having sex! Men's obsession about sex is nothing more than our obsession with our favorite sport, ladies. Its as simple as that. But I bet I mind fucked you properly now didn't I? Because if sex is not all we want, what the hell do we want?

Men want a couple of things, I am not talking about a good job, or a new car or whatever. I am here talking about the deeper things in life...in effect, the things that truly matter to us. I a going to list the 5 most common things men want...look there is many things in life men want, including world domination, but to go into that list I will need to write a book and I have no current desire for that. But let's look at the MOST ESSENTIAL bits. Men want:

Lasting Love
Being Wanted
Acceptance for who we are
Adventure
Family

Got it? Good. Now let me elaborate on each for a bit and perhaps you might see men in whole new way, if not...perhaps a spoon or a finger in the dyke will work better for you?

Lasting Love: All men want this! I am NOT talking about the fairytale "happily ever after" moment at the end of each walt disney book. It can in a sense be drawn to that conclusion yes, but what men want in terms of love goes beyond a fairytale. When I say lasting love I am talking about commitment. Yes many of you ladies just did a double take! SAY WHAT? Men want commitment?! Please don't fuck with us. Well it is true, and I am not fucking with you. Men actually want commitment. Just as much as you want that one person to spend the rest of your life with, so do we! Yes it might take us a little bit longer to reach the point where we say: Okey NOW I am ready to settle down, but in the end we all want that. More than you know. We pretend not to. Just like we pretend to be tough as nails when all we want to do is crawl into a little ball - but that's the best trait for me about men...we endure. What we want in a commited relationship is something that will truly last. You might ask if that's what you want why do men cheat? Why do men play games with our hearts? Why do we then not last in relationship. Well if you read my last post I mentioned something about when you point a finger to someone, three fingers point back at you. Take a good long hard look at yourselves ladies. Why do we cheat? Because you stopped caring about us, you stopped having kinky sex with us, you stopped giving us attention, you keep running away from fights, you keep blaming us for everything that goes wrong (as if we don't have enough pressure on us just by default), because you accuse us of things that you came up with when you had nothing else to do but to overthink and analyze all the things you don't like about us, because you make us feel like jerks every single day, like dogs who sees sex as a juicy bone we don't want to let go of, because you presume too much about what we should be doing and treating you like without getting anything back, because you push us into things we are not yet ready for, because you constantly try to change us. Out of this list I have mentioned 4 out of the 5 things on the list that men really want, that we aren't getting. And the best part is you KNOW you do all of this, but you think we are made of stone and we don't feel anything when you do or don't do these things for us or to us. Trust me, we are not made of stone no matter what you think. Think about that for a moment. Then let's get back to commitment. One thing you can be assured about men is that we are trained to be soldiers. Physically for those who did join the army, and indirectly by societies perception of men, the media, the schools, the workforce you name it. What is a soldier if not commited? I ask you this question ladies: What does a soldier do when asked to charge into battle and possibly die for his country? He loads his rifle, runs into action (possibly screaming) and shooting his barrel bare, killing other men and eventually for some, being shot and killed themeselves. They don't question, they don't backdown, they down think about it they charge and fire! Even when they know they might get killed and leave their families behind, never she his son or daughter again, or hold his wife or girlfriend's face in his hands and kiss her soft beautiful lips. Why? Becaue he is commited to the cause regardless of the impact, but for the greater good. If that's not commitement, then I don't know what is! How many women can say that? Infact if you think hard about it, and be honest with yourself...when you and your lover fight who runs away from the fights? MOSTLY you do! Women. Not men. Yes ofcourse some of us retreat! But we never run away and desert! We stick it out. And this is the truth about men. A week ago myself and a few friends sat srinking beers and somehow we came on the topic of our own failed relationships, each one of us had the same story to tell: how the women in our lives fucked up, more than once and we forgave it, fixed it and moved on - to some extents they fuck up and we say sorry! But let us make ONE mistake, then you girls pack your bags and run! You should be ashamed of yourself if that's what you do. The go about talking about men aren't commited. Guess what? It's women who aren't commited not men! We are! The thing about men, ladies is this, when we give our heart to someone its done! We really do give our heart away. And for most of us there is no chance of ever getting it back even when you threw it back in our face after grinding it into pathetic little pieces. Because we commit heart body and soul. We are NOT perfect. We do have many many many flaws! But one flaw we don't have is a lack of commitment. Yes sometimes we divert, we go off the road, we seek for attention elsewhere, but we never desert! We retreat because we are getting hurt, we took a few bullet wounds, so we retreat but when we catch our breath we press on with the attack! I am not trying to make marriage or relationships sound like a viciouc war, I use this metaphor to show to you the male psyche. Just as the soldier never abandons his troops and the war, so to will the man in your life never abandon your love and your relationship. 94% of Divorces are initiated by women. Well look at that! Who does not know how to commit now? Hmmm? Here is the deal, we make mistakes but we want to know you are commited to us regardless of our mistakes. That I can make a mistake, and you will forgive me, not without pain, but press on and fix the situation and MOST importantly: GROW as a team! Because no one is perfect. You can't meet a guy and say "ah he is perfect just the way he is" because no one is...some couples in the honeymoon phase just went: Not my lover he/she IS perfect! At that point I am laughing on the floor rolling around and standing up looking at you with a smirk smile on my face and sayin: Give it a few months, you'll see! And you know what, we know we aren't perfect, we know you aren't perfect either. But all we want is you to say: Okey, we both have flaws, some is gonna hurt me more than others, I knew this the moment I decided to date a person from the opposite sex that is not me, but we will make it work, we will fix each problem calmly as we progress and we will grow stronger and stronger as a team. Ladies, that's true commitment! That's lasting love! That's what we want! Do you really think we want a girl who is pretty and runs away from every problem that arises everytime there is one? We do get tired of taking all the hits but still are expected to press on. But once we hit back then we are losers, players and jerks who can't commit. We get tired ladies. An ex-girlfriend of mine always said to me: if your not happy with me, please don't cheat on me just leave me. Sorry ladies, we down desert the team when its down. Its not in our nature. That attitude is exactly the problem with today's women, the moment you THINK you are not happy you run away. You go find something better. And you expect the soldier to do the same. To desert his platoon because he got shot a few times. I am sorry, if that's what you want in a man, rather go lesbian and do that with a species who believe in what you believe. Men believe in sticking it out, fixing the problem, working together and finding a solution, retreating and revising the strategy together to make it work better and in the process to grow together, and bond through all of this mentally. THAT'S what we want ladies! We want a woman who can think like that, who can be a real trooper! Who commits to team without questioning, without hesitation but loading her rifle and charging into battle with her man by her side whether she might die in the process or save the day. Lasting Love. Real Commitment. Not the illusion of commitment. With this, hand in hand, goes DOING! Not talking! This is a very very very important thing to remember: Men seriously do not care about what you SAY! Words are wind! We do care about what you DO! That in itself is commitement, saying one thing and backing it up with action. Don't tell me you love me; SHOW me! Men give a fuck about your love letters, and touching birthday cards - words don't keep me warm at night, trust me I know! Deeds do! SHOW me you love me! SHOW me you are not like the rest! SHOW me you are commited and you don't run from a problem regardless of its nature! SHOW ME LOVE BABY! This is really THE most important lesson I can EVER teach you about men.

Being Wanted: Okey so here is the big secret about men, that women don't know at all! We HATE "hunting", we hate that we must always initiate a conversation! We hate that we have to do everything in our power to convince a lady just to have a cup of coffee together! We hate the pressure of going on the hunt and possibly getting rejected - rejection is MAN's greatest fear. We hate the fact that we must go through all the trouble and pressures of being a man while you just sit there and look pretty and wait as millions of guys drool over you and I know I don't have a shot because you can have your pick and most likely its not gonna be me. You ladies say you love a confident man! Well you know what? We hate a confident man! We hate that we always have to be that confident man you want and find attractive. We work so hard everyday at putting bread on the table, being succesful, protecting the world, while looking like the ultimate superhero in spandex that we go out to relax and forget about the pressure we have to deal with just to find out now I have to deal with the pressure of finding a beautiful girl who will just sit in the corner, wait for all the men to make moves on her, take her pick while drinking and eating free getting a complete free ride all the way just to end the end after you used and abused me say: sorry its not gonna work. Ladies, you have no idea what that feels like, you have no idea what pressure men go under to just live a happy life. You REALLY do have it easy in this world. You won't last a single day in the life of a man. So here is the case: we actually want to feel that WE are the pretty girl in the corner! We want to feel that women want US, that we can sit and have fun and have millions of girl swoon over us and we can make our pick. True story! Very far fetched! But yeah, we want to feel wanted! We want the girl for a change to take the walk across the dance floor and come introduce herself to us. We want to know that you want us. That you stood in this club (or whatever social setting) and saw all the men in the room and you picked me! You looked at me and said: He's the one! You have no idea how sexy that is to us if a lady takes that route, and what a magnificent ego boost for us. I have already stated men are egotists: we have big egos and most of all we WANT you to stroke it constantly! Truly we do! We are attention whores! The more attention you give us the more you will give you attention because the more we want from you! We are constatnly pressured in society to bare the burdens of life...we just want to feel wanted and appreciated. The best thing you can ever do for a guy is give him compliments...really! No jokes! This is simple. And I know ladies get frustrated sometimes because we don't text you, or we don't call you, or we don't make the effort to talk to you...has it ever occured to you we do this deliberately because we want YOU to text us, to phone us, to visit us...to show us that you want us, you are thinking about us and you really want to be with us. Remember men are also very insecure, yes...VERY!!! Because our whole life we deal with competativeness from other men. So we really do need you to show us that YOU chose us. And you back it up with your deeds. The other reason we don't call or text as much out of our own will, is because we are insecure and we are afraid that if we do that too much you will start thinking we are clingy. Because believe me, we have heard you slam the clingy guy. We don't wanna be that guy! So we act cool and unphased even though we actually do stare at the phone just as much as you do waiting for that call or sms to come in! Sound ridiculous but its true. We will never admit it, and we will always act cool and unphased just know that that's just an act to conceal our own feelings and expectations. One thing that you don't know and won't ever truly know is that we test you constantly....ladies you have NO IDEA how much we test you! We test whether you really love us, whether you meant what you said, whether you really want to be with us. We test you ALL THE TIME! You won't ever see our tests coming, we won't ever tell you "you have just been tested and you failed" we keep that to ourselves. Because these tests we make you endure without you knowing it is what we base our readiness to commit on. What we base our readiness to marry you on. Ladies when you want to marry you...you passed the most important tests...don't think the testing is over. We will test you to the day we die. I am not trrying to scare you or make you walk on egg shells, just know that we test you constantly, and sometimes more than others. We know when you are lying you're not fooling us trust me. We know of every single time you lied, most of the time if its a little white lie that's not going to impact my life we will let it slide. But I promise you that's an "x" behind your test score. We remember, and we know! How? Because we test you constantly to see if you were telling the truth, whether you meant what you said....I say this because not being truthful to you man, might end up in tradegy when he goes to find attention from someone else becasue you had too many x's behind your name. But this is our problem...we don't talk about it and we should. Because you keep doing what you are doing because we didn't tell you you failed a test. But then again we are afraid to tell you because it goes back to our insecuritues: face it women say things they think men wants to hear. And so we keep certain things from you like knowing you lied about something but not confronting you because we know you will deny it until you believe your own lie! But this all comes back to attention. Just always being honest with us is a form of attention, a form devotion and showing you really love us. Because you really do care enough to tell us the truth even though you know its gonna lead to a fight or even a breakup: and 99.9% of the time it won't! Rememeber: men are soldiers! We charge on! Just give us enough attention! But here is something you shouldn't do: don't start out giving us a lot of attention then after a few months you stop! Becaue we are now "comfortable" enough. You should NEVER be too comfortable in any relationship! I take one of my ex girlfriends as an example. When we just started dating it was amazing, she always slept in the sexiest and cutest nighties. Then after one day, it stopped, and it got changed to the most dreadful, unflattering pj's a woman could ever wear. I was starting to wonder whether she is deliberately trying to put me off. Can she possibly still feel the same about me? Look, she stopped wanting to be sexy for me. Now she is content of looking her worst. Did I do something wrong? Or does she just not feel anything for me anymore? Her outfit changed so naturally I am thinking her feelings changed too. Big no-no girls! If you want your man to go find someone who will keep up the sass other than you, then please go ahead and change the little things you do or did! We pick up on it quicker than your shoe picks up dog shit! We notice immediately and once we notice your change in attitude regarding the small things we start to notice other things too...the bigger things. And before you know it, the flame is out, and we are just enduring the relationship for the sake of the battle. Ladies, men want to know you want them, you love them and all that you do you do for them out of love, devotion and appreciation. The more you show us that the more we love you and the more we are devoted to you! Period.

3. Acceptance: This one is short and easy. We just want to be accepted as we are, we know we have mistakes, we know we are not perfect, we know we are going to hurt you eventually. We just want you to say: I love you for your good qualities AND your bad ones! It shows me you are human and you have room to grow and that makes me excited to date you and be with you. Yes you hurt me, but you know what I love you and that is enough for me! Because I accept you for who you are. Its as simple as that.

4. Adventure: We are pretty adventurous, and we seek adventure all the time. We get bored easily and when we do we want new challenges and new adventures. Physical adventure, sexual adventure, emotional adventure. All of it. We are NOT HAPPY with the same shit different day kind of conumdrum. We want change, we want fun, we want laughet, we want that Holy Shit moment. Yes even in our relationship....ESPECIALLY in our relationships. That's why most men after a while look for ways to spice things up in the bedroom, or prompt you go do something crazy with them...yes ladies that means camping! That means getting dirty in the mud, or doing something you would not normally do. But what is more important to us than the adventure is with whom we undertake the adventure. Trust me we really want to take the adventure with YOU more than with our friends and best mates. Becaue in the end we see you as our best friend and we want you to have fun with us. In most cases this will involve sex. Because sometime we don't have the time or the money to go something crazy like sky diving or bungee jumping or whatever crazy adventure you can think of so the best and easiest way to sattisfy our taste for adventure is in the bedroom...yes this will always involve something weird or dirty that will make your eyes as big as tennis balls. That's why men would try their luck for a threesome or an orgy because its adventurous. You don't have to settle for that ofcourse, just make sure your man's adrenalin is pumping when you feel he is a bit down and depressed. Its ussually because we are bored with our lives, and some of the things we want to do to you or with you, you won't consent to it. Surprise your man once a month with something crazy! Whether it is a crazy 4x4 adventure or a wild night of anything goes sex session. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as it is fun, and very adventurous and not at all the same old same old. We have naturally lot of testostorone in our body, and that needs to get some kind of outlet...adrenalin is the best way to get rid of all that pent up hormones. You need to understand this phenomenon about men. Its in our bodies, in our blood, we NEED adventure or something that will get the heart racing. Its not your responsibility to give your man that pleasure of adventure...but if you want a man and a realtioship that will love you and with stand the test of time...you need to initiate adventures for him or go along when he comes home excited about this new idea he got for you two to do together. Show your man that you can and want to be adventurous with him no matter how freaky or scary it is.

5. Family: I am not going to elaborate a lot about this, because its plain simple and straightforward. All men want a loving family. That might or might not include kids. Depends on his own defenition of family. Family can mean, you, him, your parents, his parents and your two dog. Or it can mean kids, little you's and little me's running around. But all men want a family, to love, protect and care for. We really want that. It gives us purpose. It gives us an outlet for emotions and it gives us an abundant fountain of love, adventure, attention and commitment all the things we desire wrapped up into one aspect. But if you read these five things carefully you will realise that the one does not go without the other. Or the one builds on the other. That's because they do. Do not think for one moment that you can just check of one of these 5 things off your list and then be content and think your man's desires are fullfilled. Its not. We need all 5 of these things all the time and consistantly.

#Tip: Read each and everyone of these five desires that men want and see how you can give each of these things to your man, or the guy you are trying to woe. Do this for your man and you will see how happy he is and you know better than anyone once your man is fully happy he will do anything to see you happy too!

The sexual Apetite of Men

Now for the last stretch and one of the most touchiest subjects for women. We covered that you like to rant this is all we want and I have already shot you down for it. But that does not change the fact that sex truly is very important to men. Especially in a relationship. Firstly sex is fun, there is not a better feeling in the world than a climaxing orgasm and the closeness of two people afterwards, but to men sex is more than just a pleasurable feeling for a few seconds. It goes deeper for us. Having sex with you, shows us that you really want us on a physical level (what was desire number 2?) we get comfort from the fact that you want to sleep with us because you WANT us. Secondly it build affection, trust and an emotional bond between you. No other deed or questionaire or book or problem can ever bring two people closer to each other than sex. And men want that, we want to be close to you. Physically and emotionally. And finally men derive pleasure from knowing that your pleasure is because of him. You are experiencing a cloud number 9 moment or an omg moment because of HIM no one else, nothing else. Just him. The biggest ego boosta man can ever get. But like I described with the things men want...adventure. Men want adventure in the bedroom. We want to up the fun by ten folds, we want to experiment, we want to try new things. We do get bored really easily but its hard to experiment if you are not open to it. Then it actually take away the fun for us. We want sex. And we want it alot. We all know that women get more horny than men. guess what? We actually want you to show that side of you! We want you to initiate sex! We want you to want us and show us that you want us! Mix some adventure in there like showing your man you want him right here right now while doing shopping or sitting in the movie theatre you have already killed more birds than he can count as the blood rushed to his cock and out of his head. Ladies, we want sex...more importantly we want sex with you, our lover, girlfriend or wife! But most importantly of all, we want kinky, adventurous sex. Its simple. Its straightforward. Its carnal.

# Tip: Find out what kind of things your man really likes in the bedroom, talk about sex with him. Trust me we LOVE talking about it. Write down the stuff he likes, what he doesn't like, and what he is curious about. Don't just do something weird to the bloke if he doesn't like it he will freak out. First find out what he likes then be open to do it no matter how weird it is unless its a threesome and you don't condone that you have my permission to turn him down on that because I myself don't condone threesomes. Get a bit out of your comfort zone when it comes to sex. Try new things, but most importantly initiate them! Show him YOU want to be adventurous in the bedroom. He will find you sexier than ever and you will both have a LOT of fun with it!

Well ladies, this is it. I have given you the most essential parts of understanding men and our world, I really do hope you learned something out of it. I wish I could write more, but it will really take up a whole book if I do. I tried to limit it down to the most essential parts. But before you take this as the whole truth and nothing else but the truth, remember one thing: Every one is different, not every guy will agree with the things here, most will. But we all know there are exceptions and people who are totally different. The best advise I can give you other than what I wrote here is really sit down with the guy you want or have and TALK to him, find out who he is and why he is who is don't be affraid to talk to us, it will take some prompting, because I admit we are not easy. But keep prompting. Push a little bit harder to get your man to talk. Its the healthiest thing in a relationship you can ever ask for. One more thing: if there is a guy you are eyeing, the things here will help you but remember, if a guy aren't interested, he really isn't and no knowldege in the world is gonna change his mind. No tips I give you. We are a stuborn folk, and we know what we want, even when it doesn't appear that way trust me we know exactly what we want. If a guy tells you he's not interested he really isn't.

Well I hope I have armed you well! Now ladies, grab that guy you have or want and load your rifles and charge into battle! Its going to be fun! I hope I shaked up your world a little bit today! I would love your feed back once more!

Shake!

The Commited Player

2012-07-25T04:31:00.003-07:00

Okey, so I know I haven't blogged in a while. And I have to say that I missed putting my thoughts down in digital ink. Look its not the easiest thing in the world to do, this social form of mind manifesting of ideas that we call blogging, and some days I just don't get any inspiration to write about anything. I am glad I am not a fiction writer, because I think I will run out of ideas after the first few chapters! I will keep putting my writing off just because my muse didn't pitch up. Okey I know my writing mentors Prof Hans du Plesis and Francois Bloemhof probably cringed at that last one especially Prof he would always scold me whenever I used the reference of a "muse" I can see his stern look already, and that deep frown then hear hom say: There is no such thing as a muse, its called lazyness! Okey and its true, I am probably one of the laziest writers there is...from my published works to my screen works, and yes even with this blog. Whether it be poems, scripts or simple doodles I am lazy but only when it comes to constructive writing. When it comes to writing a bunch of shit that no one will ever read: I am the master! Just give me a bottle of whiskey and I am good to go!

Finally I overcame my laziness and now I am writing - you probably noticed how I just wasted a shit load of your time for no reason - one of my methods to put off writing! But today I actually do have something to write about, its something that really bothers me to a very painful extent. Its happened to me personally while I was on a date over the weekend. It also happened to another friend of mine. This "issue" is called Pre-mature judgement. I think we all have come across this problem in some point in our lives. Men especially, I doubt that women have this problem as much as we do. But especially for blonde guys with blue eyes. The natural stigma of guys with blonde hair and blue eyes are players.

Really? Are you going to judge me even before you know me just because I have blue eyes and blonde hair? Well excuse me for not being able to choose my hair colour and eye colour while in my mother's womb!

Okey so I went on this date with a very nice girl, we had a cup of coffee, but half way through it she told me she really likes me but she won't be able to trust me. So I asked her why not, and her reply to my astonishment was: "Because you have blue eyes and blonde hair, that makes you a player and you look the type" WOW!!! She alloborated further by saying that ALL men with blonde hair and blue eyes are players. Really? I didn't get the memo then! Is there some club I was suppose to join on my first birthday on planet earth? Sorry but I don't have a membership card. Infact I have never played a girl in my life, I'm not even sure HOW to play a girl, I didn't realise giving my heart to someone is a game, with a clear set of rules that apparently only men with blonde hair and blue eyes play for our amusement. I remember this was not the first it ever happened to me, in my first year at University the most random and completely untrue stories was circling around about me, to the point where I just had to laugh whenever I heard a rumor about myself, because some the rumors was so far fetched and completely untrue that I don't know, to this day how girls come up with these things. Seriously, do girls go to each other's houses and sit around looking at photos of guys they might like then decide to write a complete backstory FOR him regardless of whether this is true or not? It baffles me! Its not even that, even when you are dating someone and things are very serious from your side but you can sense its not very serious from her side, the girls can make up the most random and false stories about you or what you did or what you are going to do and they take that on as the whole truth and nothing else but the truth even if you deny it, EVEN when you can provide solid concrete proof of the opposite. Women believe whatever the hell they want to believe. I have learned, women live in this fantasy world in their head, they make up stories to get time by...and place themselves mentally into situations and then believe these stories as if this is the truth and complete fact.

I even had one girlfriend telling what I am thinking and when I am thinking or what I want just because it fitted well into her own sick fantasy in her head. Guilt perhaps? Must be. The problem is not so much to me what women presume about men with blonde hair and blue eyes. Its more the fact that most women, think that they can judge someone even before they know anything about them, just by looking at their hair colour, or their eye colour or the shoes they wear. How many times have I heard this one too: A guy with good shoes is a guy worth marrying! REALLY??? Do you have ANY idea how dumb that sounds...because my shoes makes me the man I am right? My shoes decide whether I am marriage material or not! Its like magical boots..you put them on then your whole personality changes to some kind of perfect being but watch out! If you take them off you're an asshole again! True story!

What defines a player? I think most ladies will agree that a player is someone that commits to you, until he gets what he wants, then dumps your ass and goes to the next girl and repeat. Often, he won't even dump you, he will just go to the next girl regardless whether he commited or not. To me this whole idea needs to involve a second commitment of some sort whether emotional or physical - but an innocent flirt when a girl complemented you does not count as being played. If you think thats being played you seriously need to do a head check and learn the difference between being nice to friends and cheating. If you can't differentiate you are on the wrong planet sister! This is planet earth where humans dominate with our sense of building relationships and have the capacity to communicate on an intelligent level. Now if you flirt with a girl, while being in a reltaionship with another girl, and your flirts are not at all innocent and you actually move to a sexual relationship or one with heavy emotional attachment then it is called playing. For any other reasons you need to look at yourself REAL hard and figure out why you have this obsession with calling out guys for being players for the slightest of infringements or trying as hard as hell to catch them out cheating on you even though the guy is 100% committed to you - perhaps its time to face up and come clean and sit down with your boyfriend and confess how many times you have actually cheated on him or "played" him without his knowledge because as the saying goes: People who look for in the dark are standing behind the door themeselves. And I fully believe in this statement. The reason why you keep accusing your boyfriend or girlfriend of cheating on you even though its not the case, even though this guy or girl has NEVER in their whole lives been so commited to one person than to you and there is no proof or silly proof its because you yourself have been pinching the cat in the dark, realised you did something extremely horrid, and you didn't get caught out - now your head is going into overdrive to try and ommit the guilt and suddenly you realise: If I could cheat on my boyfriend this easy without him finding out, then he MUST be cheating on me without me knowing because let's face it he does have blonde hair and blue eyes. Yep, you have been caught out girls...and guys!

Its completely sickeing to think that you think you have the right to judge someone just by his or her appearance. Or based on what other men or women has done to you in the past. What happened to "every person is different"? And the worst part is when a guy dares to this a women pre-judge them, you get the whole speech of: Don't cut me from the same grass as other women I am not like other women! Gosh but you do it me??? "No that's different" - thats always the case isn't it? When women do something that men do and its the exact same thing down to the letter its always different: because I am a girl. Really now? Pathetic I say!

We are all different, we all have a certain story of something that happened in our lives that made us who we are. But we are all different! If it wasn't for difference we would be one hell of a boring civilazation. So why do we need to create stories based on looks? Sure women call it: Shields Up. This is the most pathetic excuse of all. I am judging you 9 ways to Sunday because I have my shields up, I am trying to protect myself from guys with blonde hair and blue eyes. Really? The one's you should be protecting yourself against is the dark haired and brown eyed guys - no offence fellas, but a scietific study have proved that 78% of male rapers have brown hair and brown eyes. Shouldn't the ladies be more concerned over that stat when it comes to "protecting myself"? I'm not putting any judgement on guys with brown hair. Its just a stat to prove a point. Listen, you ARE going to get hurt...thats life! A small child doesn't know a knife is sharp unless he cuts himself for the first time. Then he doesn't refuse to ever use a knife again...he just LEARNED HOW to use the knife with more care. The same applies with relationships. So a guy played you? You got hurt. Now you are foreswearing off all men and relationships because you cut yourself becaue you were careless. Yes, I am stating outright YOU were careless: first of all NO ONE on this planet does things just for the hell of it. Every single act, or choice has a valid reason behind it. What might be a valid reason for you might not be one for me...but there is a reason. When a guy or girl messes up and "cuts" you deep, sit down with your lover and figure out the REASON for it and find a SOLUTION to ensure it doesn't happen again. You don't run away like a pathetic loser with no back bone, crying to mommy: The knife cut me! The knife cut me! Then go crawl in the fetus position and foreswear to cut your steak with a spoon from that moment on! No! You pick up the knife, keep your fingers away from the blade, hold the handle tight and cut in a safe manner. So your boyfriend hurt you in some way, you don't go running away screaming: he's a player, he's a player! Now I'm turning lesbian! You sit down with your boyfriend, tell him how much you he hurt you and ask him in a polite manner why he did it because you want to resolve the issue and figure out what went wrong so that you can try your best to avoid that. I promise you ladies any women who is willing to give a bloke a second chance and the benefit of the doubt and proving to him that you don't run away the first time he fucks up he will love you even more, he will feel closer to you and you both WILL be closer to one another and he will wake the fuck up and realise that he himself was at fault and I guarentee you he will fix it.

But ladies you have to know something about men: we are made of sharp steel. We are the protectors and providers of our households, our ends are sharp. And we can either cut your meat safely, and kill all who tries to harm you or we can really cut you deep and hard. Its all about how you handle the man by your side. We are men. Made of blood and flesh. We are not machines. We are going to hurt you, we are going to make mistakes. Hell I have made so many mistakes in my life, that I didn't even know were mistakes, but only realised it when someone told me "listen you hurt me by doing or saying that" again, its all down to communication. There is no point in cowering away from the knife and cutting your steak with a spoon just out of fear. I always tell girls: If you want to date a guy you need to be responsible with him. Because we are silly creature, we like doing silly and completely stupid things we are wild animals! YOU ladies are the hand that wields the knife. You are what keeps us grounded and safe from ourselves. You give us purpose and meaning. All we ask for is that you handle us with care and a sturdy hand.

Communication, Communication, Communication! Team work, Team work, Team work! Compromise, Compromise, Compromise! Those three things will make any relationship with ANYONE worthwhile and solid! I need to give the women out there a secret about us men because I promised a friend I would: Men WANT to be wanted! More than you will ever know! Men WANT to feel that you rely on us! Whether you do or not, we want the illusion! We want to feel we MEAN more to you than just another bloke you once dated. And most importantly we really want a girl in our lives who can really commit and stick it out regardless of our mistakes and faults because let's face it we have a shit load of faults, and sometimes we don't even know about half of them. We really want a girl who will look at our imperfections and say: You know what? He's human! I love him! And that's enough! Period. Because here is the biggest problem: women know we want you! You know that we as men are weak at the knees for women. And you know as a woman you can get a guy any time you want. Any type of guy, any time and any place (some guys have caught up though I must warn you) and women get this perception that whenever they discover a mistake in a man they can just dump him, run away from the problems because they WILL find a new man and that is true. Its a lot easier for women to find a guy than it is for a guy to find a woman. But have you ladies ever stopped to think of the reprocussions of this attitude: You are telling men that you don't care about them really because men are just things to you and as soon as you are done with one there will always be a new one lineup. So you give men the feeling you really don't care about us, so more men start to treat you as toys as well! Because believe it or not men are really soft! We will never admit it (sorry fellas - I know I am giving away our cryptonite) because society has created this norm that men need to be tough as nails. But we are very soft inside even the toughest biker. We get hurt more easily than you will ever imagine we just perfected the ability to hide our pain very easy and pretend like we are not phased at all. But when you treat as like a piece of shit you can run away from after the first propper fight and move on the next guy or girl (yes that happened to me) and just forget you ever knew us, it hurts us just as it would hurt you. And we retaliate by doing to the same to other women. Then we get this whole complex of not wanting to be commited at all because women don't know what true commitment means because you have tits! You don't need to commit right? We will see who is laughing when you hit your late 30s and everything starts to sag!

With men it really is as simple as: treat us how you want to be treated! But treat us how we want to be treated as well! I guarentee you, we men are fast learners and keen observers - Im not talking about your new shoes! We see things quickly especially when it comes to how we are treated. The way you treat me is the way Im going to treat you. You treat me with no respect and keep accusing me of random shit and want to fight every 5 minutes? Guess what? Back at ya! You don't want to give me any attention? Well guess what? Back at ya!

Look I am not saying the whole responsibility of a serious relationship rests within the hands of women. But it is true for the majority of the time. That's what I am talking about handling a sharp knife with responsibility. We can give you everything you want and need....if you can just show proper commitment to us and TRUST us to want to be the perfect man for you. We are not perfect nor are you! So why do women expect men to be perfect the moment they enter a relationship? Stick it out with me when I am at my worst and I promise you I will still be there, holding you and cudling when you are at your worst and you are 80 wrinkled and ugly! Treat me right and I guarentee you, you will be the woman I want to marry! Sit down with me and talk out the problems in our relationship and give me the oppertunity to fix whatever I am doing wrong, and do it lovingly not forcefully and I promise you you WILL have a ring on your finger before the ned of the year and a man of steel to wrap you in his arms until death do us part.

Bottom line: don't judge a guy by the way he looks. Don't run away from problems, learn what commitement is and commit! Love a guy FOR his imperfections not despite of them. And TALK! We can not smell your feelings even though for some fuckedup reason all women think men can smell what the fuck is going on...we really can't ladies. If we could, there wouldnt be any fights in a relationship ever!

Well I hope this was a shake up to you! I hope the ladies learned some things about men today and I hope today is the day that you look hard at yourself in the mirror and stop judging and running away.

Shake!

Bloggunication

2012-07-19T07:48:00.000-07:00

A few friends asked me yesterday why do I blog? Do I blog just for fun, or do I do it for some other gain like money? Because one can make a living out of blogging - however I find it too time consuming, I enjoy writing but to blog everyday and coming up with new interesting toppics to post is harder than it looks. And it really needs to be a full time commitment and passion for it to be successful. So why DO I blog?

Its simple really, I blog purely out of respect for communication. I blog not for fame or money (I mean how famous or rich can one really be on blogging?) I blog for my friends and people who like reading some sense in this world.

In this life we are always on the move (sad to say), always hustling and bustling...I see it in my own life, with my own friends and my own love interests. Its constantly a big hustle and we don't get time for each other anymore except on pay day. So blogging for me is a way of keeping in touch with my friends and people who know me, love me or even hate me (yes there will always be haters) in the sense that sometimes who do see each other, and we go out for beers or lunch or whatever, but we spend such short time with one another that we don't really have time to GET TO KNOW each other's most personal sides. That is what blogging is about for me, sharing my most personal side with the world so that the people in my life can really get to know me, and those who wish to know me better can know what I am all about.

I think we all deserve some more constant communication in this world. We are always assuming things (I am guilty), but not because we want to assume the worst but because of a lack of communication and straightforwardness in this world of ours. You see it in the way we chat or bbm or skype...I am even getting these type of "chats" with professional clients on e-mail - LOL this and BRB that. Have we become so insecure about communication and so entranced with our "rat race" that we don't even have enough time anymore to write full sentences? Communication is such a vital part of our lives. For any philosophers out there the word Hermeneutics will ring a bell. Hermeneutics is one of the oldest schools of philosophical thought in the world where it is simply stated that life can not exist without understanding, and understanding can not exist without communication - whether via language, text, body movements and mimmicry. It doesn't matter what matters is that we COMMUNICATE and that we UNDERSTAND what is being communicated to us. One can never ever over communicate in this life.

I have seen it so many times, and got myself into so much trouble because I only had half the story or no story at all and assumed wrongfully - sometimes deliberately to get the full story - but because of a lack of communication.

I think I used to be one of the worst communicators of all time. I grew up to be the man in the house at a very young age, and because of this I taught myself to keep a lot of feelings, emotions and concerns bottled up inside me because I thought "that's what men do", not only was it that thought I was the man in the house and I needed to be the rock in the family I had to show my mother and sister that I can take care of them like a real man should take care of his family. The end result was a complete melt down in the middle of 2009. When I snapped and every emotion for the past 6 years that has built up inside of me came pouring out: it was screaming, wall punching, crying and eventually just a complete loss of consciousness this was so overwhelming to me that I did sought after help and went to a shrink to help me deal with this, by this I mean this inability that I conjurred up to never communicate my feelings. The ladies will know to this day I find it extremely hard to cry infront of a woman. I think only one girl that is not my beautiful mother saw me cry once and to this day I regret it. Not because it had a bad effect or outcome but plainly because its extremely hard for me for anyone to see me so weak. I am the Lion of my pride, the rock and foundation on which my family has built their lives. I will never forget the day when my older sister had an assignement at Varsity about "The Person you Look Up to" and my sister did her assignment about me...this was the biggest moment of pride in my life, but it also reinforced my belief that I am truly the rock in my house. My grandfather himself is the rock in my eyes, and the only true father I ever knew. My own father was absent in my life when it came down to the teachings of being a man. I relied a lot on my grandfather to show me the way. And he himself is an extremely strong, hot headed but passionate man who refuse to have anyone see him cry. Even when things are at their worst he fights so hard to keep back tears. I took my lessons from that man that I love with all my heart!

But not communicating did clearly had its toll on me. I knew I had to do something, I started writing poetry eventually and published my first book at 18. Then I lost track of communicating. The first time I was ever in a true relationship all I wanted to do was talk and talk and talk things flowed out of me like never before. Until I also started getting into trouble for talking too much about things that concern me, and eventually I fell back into old habits and push everything down...two years later my lack of communicating was the reason behind a broken heart and a shattered soul.

This have taught me yet again how important communicating in life is. I can not describe to you how many people I have hurt, friends I have lost and hearts I broke because of LACK of communication. And at the same time I can also tell you how much and many times I have gotten hurt because of the same dilemma. And communicating is so easy! Its so easy just to be straight forward and tell the truth and say whats on your mind, yet we find it so difficult. One thing I hate, and I know by experience this is what all women love to do, playing games! Never say it as it is, but launch some weird between the lines half written messages for your lover to figure it out for himself...then if he doesn't: World War III! Why??? Its so easy just to be straightforward: listen I like you. Listen I didn't like that because.... Listen I miss you and want to spend some time with you... Listen this and that and this again! Tell it true. Pick up the phone, if you MUST lol this and lol that fine! But just COMMUNICATE! And do it in a straight and forward manner, no pussy footing around, no running in circles around a bush, no messages in a bottle! Just say what is on your mind and say it as soon as you feel it, don't brood about it. Say it to yourself if you have no one else to say it to...I am talking about OUT LOUD! Say IT!!!

This is why I blog...to communicate who I am, what I think, what I believe and what I want! To practice what I preech about communication and taking that first step to ensure those who are part of my life will always know with me you WILL get a clear, straightforward communicator...I have paid too dearly in the past and learned my lessons well. This is me proving that to myself. And if I could in anyway change someone's life forever by something I wrote...I can die a happy man!

Let's communicate more! Let's Shake Up!

Shake!

The Money Game

2012-07-17T06:59:00.001-07:00

We all can do with some more money right? Its not really a question more than it is a statement of truth in our everyday, miserable lives when we wake up every day with this feeling of financial insecurity. I think it is safe to say that all have that feeling every now and then, sometimes more often than not, like when we get to the middle of the month and your bank account is empty or super low only to cover the essentials. It's happened to me, it's happened to you and it's happened to the Nigerian break dancing on the corner of the street for money. Its this constant feeling of heartburn whenever we talk about money, or think about it.

I can say I have been one of the biggest over spenders that I know. Whenever I have money in my pocket, I have this burning desire to spend it. Until one morning I woke up, it was about the the second week of the month and I had no money left, no food in my fridge and no backup except a bag of rice. Now, like most people I am too proud to ask for money, and whenever I do I feel guilty that I literally can't sleep at night. But then I decided that things need to change. Being single, living on more than a decent payroll, having a constant and secure job I still managed to blow my money all at once and the worst of it is that I did not even have anything to show for it.

I started dabbing into books and readings about how to manage one's own money. A whole new world was opened to me...a world I did not even knew existed. Why? Because I was happy with Short term sattisfaction.

Now for everyone that knows me personally knows, that I preach about Short term sattisfaction a lot. And many of you know my views on it. That's because I truly believe that we as people should wake up out of our slumber. Shake up...so to speak! We don't have to be happy with short term sattisfaction! We don't need to live from relationship to relationship! We don't need to live from weekend to weekend and from pay check to pay check. But it all start with you. This is something a lot of people don't understand: Every single problem in your own life starts with you and the solution ends with you. Not your boss, not your friends, not your lover and especially not your parents. You are a big boy or girl now. Start acting like one!

The biggest question is ofcourse how? HOW do we live more comfortably in a world that seems to taking every fucking cent you want even if you don't want spend your money on things you don't need? We live in a society that I like to call the "Fine Print Society" - you NEVER EVER pay for what you want, because you never read the fine print....when you go to an insurance company they spend half a fucking day on the phone with you, sweet talking you as if you are a fair maiden who have bairly started her menstrual cycle but some old perv is already trying to pry your pants off and get in there! And they tell you the sweetest things you could ever imagine...but most importantly the price SOUNDS right! And you are sold. You spread your smooth little bleak legs apart and allow the insurance bastard to fuck you like a chinese prostitute! Then only after your payment is halfway done and papers are almost signed, they reveal extra costs and extra things they never told you about. This happened to a good friend of mine a while back, she was looking for a good medical aid, and she found probably one of the most popular ones in the country (I will not mention names but if you hear the benefits its very easy to figure it out) and they sweet talked her like a girl taking candy from a sweet old man...if you come with us you can gym for as little as R50.00 a month, pay half price at the movies, get discount on healthy foods and blah blah blah - or rather yada yada ydad...and before she even took the candy the old perv already had his "sock puppet" on for play time! Luckily she realised what was going on and ran screaming for her mom and dad like any good girl would do when an old man offers you candy!

But in the end her monthly fee would have been almost THREE times what she initially was offered. And the very sad part is that this happens to most of us and we actually just go ahead and spread our legs! Why? Well because then you don't feel "dumb" or inadequote when the guy starts adding all these extra costs as if you were suppose to fucking know they were going to be added - because they always do that don't they? Suddenly they add all these extra costs and you start asking question and they reply as if you just asked the dumbest question on earth, suddenly you feel dumb and pretend like you "knew" all this and you are okay with it! This even happened to me, however my reason was more about the sales lady that was really sexy and I was trying look and sound important and successful - in the end, she got my money, my dumb lackwit and I got no candy! WTF!?

Why should we pay for things we don't want or need? There is no reason for any of us to feel dumb when it comes to spending YOUR money. Its as simple as that. Protect your own money.

But what about financial security and freedom to live your life the way you want it? Simplest answer is: Investment. I am not talking about the stock market and investments in commodities such as oil or gold - I will get to that part in a bit. But what I am talking about it commitment to your physical investments: a car, a house, furniture etc. The simplest way to live comfortably is to sort out these investments early on. Yes it might take a couple of months for this to happen - and I mean a couple of months of hard savings. But once you have the couch you want, the fridge, the bed and the flat screen TV they are bought and paid for you have no further "investments" to spend at. Take a couple of months to save the money for that piece of furniture you really want and buy it straight up. No credit cards, no loans, no debts! This is really really important to be smart with your money. Cancel your credit cards, clothing store accounts and anything else that allows you to fall into a slump of debt. Because let's face it ALL debt is with interest. I learned this the hard way when I was in a little bit of a personal bad situation in the end of last year. I went to my bank - Absa - and I mention their name because you can throw iPads at me and iPods and whatever you want to like you but, in the end I will always throw my weight behind Absa as the best bank in the country. These guys really take care of their clients on a very personal level its just all down to communication - but anyway, I went to Absa explained my difficult situation and they really helped me out with a personal loan that was paid into my account within 20minutes. However to my surprise later on it would become clear that even though I appreciated this loan with all my heart, in the long run it ended up that I would pay more than double of what I have borrowed. And now I am locked in with some personal debt for the next 4 years. Its not a big amount I have to pay back monthly - also thanks to their personal understanding of what my situation was. However every bit of debt you have could have gone a long way to ensuring your own financial freedom. So get all of the debt out of the day and ensure your investments are old secured from an early stage. It took me 7 months to have that type of secure investments: furniture etc. But now I have all I need and now my money is my own.

But what to do with your own money to ensure even greater freedom? Well lets assume you have all your investments (I call it investments because I refuse to call them assets because your car, your house, your furniture is NOT assets no matter what you Econ Teacher taught you in school - an asset is purely something that allows you a passive income meaning that your car could be an asset if you get PAID to drive around with your car - if you do not then you car is a liability. The same goes for your house...unless you bought a house, rent it out and get a continuous passive income out of it your house is NOT an asset but a liability) and now that you do, you have a lot of extra money and you can finally shop at woolworths instead of Checkers. But is that really necessary? What will you find at Woolworths that you won't find at checkers for a lot cheaper? Do you REALLY need that god forsaken expensive hair shampoo instead of bottle of Head & Shoulders (that have been clinically proven to be the best hair shampoo on the market regardless what you hair dresser says: let's face it your hair dresser does not have a phd in making shampoo - the guys at H&S does actually) start cutting costs in terms of what you buy! This does not mean you have to start living poorly in fact, you live cheap thats all. Does not make you cheap infact it makes you money savvy and street wise! All to your own benefit. Let's assume you do this and you are saving another R300-R500 extra every month. Guess what? Holy fuck you have even more moeny than before! Now what?

Here comes my favorite part: Real Big Time Investment. NOW I am talking about the Stock Exchange where you get to play with the big boys on the JSE, Main Street and Wall Street! I started palying with these boys a month ago on the JSE and I can honestly say I have never in my life been more excited, happy and FREE! Trading stock and commodities have become my favorite past time and all to my benefit. In a very short amount of time with a very small amount of "Test Cash" (money I used to test my skills at trading stocks and commodities) have trippled - now obviously its not that easy, its very time consuming and I can honestly say that I think I have more intimate relationship with my Stock Broker from England, Garth, who phones me almost every 2 hours to check in and report to me. Even late at night! Its weird to say but I have a more intimate relationship with my stock broker than I ever had with ANY girlfriend I have ever dated! Gart knows my whole life story and I know his. He knows my passions and my loaths the guy understands me! What a fucking champion! No girl can brag about that! Now I am not suggesting we will be hearing any church bells any time soon, but its good to know the man behind my money knows me on a very personal level.

The biggest thing about money is that we don't understand money. To understand money we need to go back to 1971 when President Roosevelt of the USA changed the entire face of money, when he announced that the Dollar will be taken off the Gold Standard. Up to this point money was measured by the amount of gold a country owned. Roosevelt announced the Dollar will change from MONEY to a CURRENCY. Now to understand what a currency is we really need to look at the word itself in its most simple explanation: think of an electric current. What happens when an electric current stops moving? Then there is no current anymore. Thats what money has become: a Current. Now Currency works the same: it HAS to keep moving. Have you ever heard of someone complaining that they saved this amount and when they finally wanted to withdraw that it was less than what they initially saved? Or maybe it happened to you. This is because that money did not move. So it lost value. Money need to keep moving for it to be truly strong and productive. And I am not talking about moving it from your wallet to the bank. I am talking about moving in through active investments, stocks and commodities, real estate etc. Things that ensure your money keeps growing. I am giving you an example of my own commodity trades: You buy a couple ounces gold today - the gold price per ounce changes daily, weekly and monthly. So you buy stocks in gold today, and actively watch the stock market until the gold price increased a little bit, then you sell a couple of ounces to get more money while keeping more stocks in ounces in reserve, while they grow you buy more gold, and sell a few, buy and sell then buy different commodities such as oil or grain and do the same. This way your money is constantly moving its flowing like a current...the way it should! This is a fun but very time consuming thing to do. I have found that I dont always have the time to watcht the stock exchange like a hawk thats why I am grateful for Garth.

I want to leave you with one last shake up...and this comes from one of the most inspiring films I have ever seen regarding money: Money never sleeps, she is the most clingy and attention seeking lover you will ever date, if you don't treat her right, give her enough attention then one morning you will wake up and she will be gone!

Let's become more financially SMART! And use that wisdom to increase your own financial freedom! I hope this was enlightning to you. This is again just from my own experiences and things that work for me. Maybe you have different opinions and methods to keep yourself financially secure and free. If you do feel free to share them with me! Would love to hear your thoughts!

Shake!

Short Term Sattisfaction and Love

2012-07-16T04:08:00.001-07:00

Our world has become a complete flowing river of mobility and constant moving and racing somewhere that we all don't even truly know where the fuck we are going! But still we keep racing, keep moving, keep changing to what end? To the end, apparently, of always finding something better than what we have.

This obscure phenomenon has actually penetrated all facets of our daily life...even to extraordinary depths such as LOVE! We see it in the simple way we strive for small commodities like cell phones, cars, iPads, iPods, iPhones, Kindles, Blackberries, houses, computers and girlfriends/boyfriends, husbands and wives. Yes I need to place husbands, boyfriends, wives and girlfriends in the same sentence as pointless materialistic articles such as iPhones. Why? Because YOU have placed them there by your constant need for finding better. If our iPhone or Blackberry has a glitch we want a new one, if our service provider's network are down, we want a new network provider, or my personal favorite: if I had the phone for more than 6 months I want a new phone. Look closely around you. This consistent "on the move" attitude seems good and fair but it has become the essential life span of everything we do even love.

Today we love one another like we love a new iPhone. Once it is older than a few months, or has a couple of glitches we immediately want a new one, regardless of the fact that phone still works, it still does the function it was built for: communicating, Perfectly! But because of a few small minor glitches we ditch it. I say: Enter the iLove generation.

I am going to write the rest of this post from my own perspective, ladies please do not feel "targeted" if you do, its your problem, I am a man and I write from a man's perspective. If you feel taken in the face, ashamed or hurt due to any offense you might see in this. Good! You probably deserve it. Because you feel guilty and see the truth in what I write. But feel free to replace the reference to female sex to a male one if you feel the same about this but in the reverse regard.

To me it seems that there aren't any good women left in this world...its shocking really. The norm has become that "we are not happy with what we have so we will go and find something better" -

What happened to team work? Sticking things out during good AND bad times? Growing together as a solid unit? Being content with what you have and work at it to be perfect and strong? What happened to commun...icating our problems and issues to one another? What happened to true love???

Today love is about short term sattisfaction it would seem and we just move on to the next person as if we as people are nothing more than retail products who get discarded the moment a slight glitch is found. Really? Is that the way of our lives and love now? It boggles my mind into a pool of infinite confusion and frustration. Would it be the will of the Universe to allow me to meet a woman who understands the priciples of love, commitment and long term preservation, teamwork and devotion I would die a happy man. Now I know its not all women or men that is like this but thus far the majority I have met and dated are. Its a sad day on planet earth.

Or better yet, they throw their toys out of the cot of they find a man with a few glitches, then brand him in the following way: "All men are the same - nothing but dogs!" then they go about running their mouths up about how terrible men are and they are done with men and before you know it she turns the tables and slides a finger in the dyke. Is this what our so called "fairer sex" have become? To be honest with you now, and I know that a lot of women do have enough reason to make statements such as men are dogs. I know a lot of guys that cheat on women just for the hell of it. But I know JUST as many women who do the same to men. I know men who are never sattisfied with what they have and I know women who are never sattified with what they have.

Love should not be something that is switched on and off. Something we use and abuse just for short term sattisfaction. Love is NOT an iPhone! Love needs to be nurtured, given constant attention and affection. It is not as simple as: I have this boyfriend, but this other guy has a lot of extra features so I am going off to him rather.

If you can't stick things out in a relationship through good times and bad times, if you can't communicate your problems with the person you are inlove with, if you can't face issues and problems TOGETHER as a team and if you can not be content and happy with what you have...then stay the fuck out of a relationship and leave to the people who DO know the value of love, affection, commitment and devotion. To the people who know how to communicate and face problems together as a unit, who values team work and growing stronger and more loving together. To the men (and women) who know they are not perfect but always strive to fix what is wrong.

We all know that all cliche saying: "Patience is a virtue" well I hate that saying because I know in today's life patience has become the opposite of virtue not by default by by the way people treat life and love. But within a relationship this is the greatest truth of it. We all need to be patient with love, treat her gently and commit with her in the LONG TERM. If you can't do that please I beg you stay out of the hearts of people who do want that their lives.

I think we all just need a fucking wake up call when it comes to love...just have a look around you and for once in your life SEE the hurt you cause by flipping in and out of relationships, hurting people by going to find better things and not allowing a relationship to grow and nourish. See the hurt by not allowing your lover to fix his/her wrongs and by not keeping faith with him/her just because its the "easy" way to go when flipping to something else. Allow the people in your life to be commited to you and dedicated. But you have to start being dedicated and commited to those around you FIRST! We like throwing the whole biblical and budhist sayings around: Treat people the way you want to be treated...but the moment we look at ourselves suddenly that saying does count for us just everyone around you. The problem and the solution starts with you.

You can decide today whether you are going to be the difference in this whole fuckedup world we live in. Are you going to be the cheap iPhone made in China or the propper one that will last an entire life time like in the good old days (like our grandparents use to rant about) You can treat people with trust, devotion, love, commitment and team work and see them treating you the same. Or you can be the person flipping switches, hurting everyone around you adn yourself in the process because you are only happy with short term sattisfaction...short term love and short term happiness. The cheap iLove product!

Passion. Commitment. Teamwork and Dedication. Thats all we need to restore balance back into the nature of love and life itself.

I hope this was a Shake Up to you!