The Sharp Angle

A Friday Query Critique Success Story!

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 11:00:00 +0000

The very first query I posted for the Friday Query Critique feature (way back in December!) was from Rebecca Hart, who has since sold her book to InkSpell Publishing using a revised version of her query letter as part of her proposal. Her original query letter, and my suggestions, can be seen here.

Elysandra Winters has always yearned for a life of adventure on the rolling seas and is willing to do whatever it takes to fulfill her dream. When her Privateer father continually refuses to allow his only daughter to sail, Ellie defies him, disguises herself as a boy, and goes in search of a captain who will give her a chance to prove her worth.

Thanks to the cursed selkie blood coursing through his veins, Daniel O'Rourke needs the sea to survive. After giving up on his humanity and spending three years in seal form, he decides to give his human side another chance. Daniel goes in search of a job and a sense of normalcy, earning himself a position aboard Captain Winter’s ship, The Surf Runner. However, his new captain’s first assignment has nothing at all to do with sailing, and everything to do with his headstrong young daughter.

Years later, when the leader of a band of bloodthirsty pirates murders Captain Winters, Daniel and Elysandra’s lives come crashing back together with the force of a hurricane. Both experts in deception, they must find a way to trust each other if they are to have any hope of hunting down the captain’s killer.

CALL OF THE SEA will be released by InkSpell Publishing on June 21, 2012.

Please join me in congratulating Rebecca on her query letter success!
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Quotable Quotes

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 12:30:00 +0000

If you never, ever talk to people and you meet all of your needs on the Internet, you wake up one day and you're the unabomber.

~Ann Patchett talking bookstores on The Colbert Report

The Colbert Report
Get More: Colbert Report Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,Video Archive

Why the Once Upon a Time Series Isn't Quite Working For Me

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 11:00:00 +0000

I've been trying to catch up on episodes of Once Upon a Time while visiting my sister. The show airs on a night when I can't watch it, and (scatterbrain that I am) I can never remember to watch it on hulu until I'm at her house visiting and she adamantly reminds me.

My sister is head over heels in love with this show. She's trying to get me into it, but I'm so far behind that I'm watching back to back to back episodes on her laptop to catch up. And while I was initially intrigued by the premise, the more I watch, the more it just isn't working for me.

Maybe it's because I'm watching it all at once instead of being forced to wait a week between episodes, I don't know. But I've been thinking it over since the last time I visited her and the writer side of me took over my reasoning, as it usually does in these situations, and... this is what it came up with:

The protagonist, Emma Swan, is drier than sawdust. I'm sorry, but she is. I'm not sure if it's the actress they selected or if the writers are putting too much emphasis on the fantastical elements of the story and not on giving her, yanno, a real personality.

See, there's a reason why the wicked queen is my favorite character of the series. In both the fairy tale world and the real world, her character is well-defined. She's a bitch. But a well-defined bitch.

A character we love to hate is still someone we love, in a way. So why is it okay for Emma to be so undefined and thus, unsympathetic?

The most probable reason I can think of for her coming off this way is that she is a "normal" person living alongside all these people who parallel some of the most well-known personalities in all of storytelling history. Snow White, Prince Charming, Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Rumpelstiltskin, even Maleficent. That's a tough crowd to stand out among.

Granted, I'm only about half-way into the season, so maybe her character gets stronger as the story progresses.

But what's up with her estranged son calling all the shots? Emma is a grown woman, with a pretty kick-ass career that requires loads of intelligence and problem-solving skills, yet this ten year-old is basically controlling... everyone. Manipulating them all, not the least of which is the woman who raised him for his entire life. And the woman who is his biological mother.

Is it just me or is that off-putting? If this were a kids' show I could see that being justifiable. But it's meant for adults. Henry's character doesn't tug on my heartstrings-- he tugs on my last nerve. He's bossy and annoying and he never does what he's told, even when there is obvious danger involved.

And he's the only person who knows what's really going on? That feels like a bit of a cop-out, and it's borderline insulting. Because who will listen to a child they know nothing oh the imagination on that boy!

Characterization issues aside, the plot itself is just... ALL OVER THE PLACE. It's difficult enough to follow the flashes between the real world and the fairy tale world without having to also follow haphazard timelines. Starting with the second episode. Really? That's not even long enough for me to remember who's who, let alone what's what and when's when.

Not surprisingly, these are the same people who brought us Lost, so. There ya go.

Rather than creating anticipation, mystery and intrigue, I'm feeling more frustrated and confused with every episode. To the point where, if this goes on much longer, I may just give up on it.

I. Don't. Like. Being. Confused.

And can someone please explain to me how all of these fairy tale characters can live in the same world together without the whole place imploding? Snow White and her Prince Charming were guests at the wedding of Cinderella and her Prince Charming, and I had an aneurism right there on my sister's couch.

How many princes and princesses and evil queens and grand castles and different forms of magic can you have in a single kingdom? It's too much. It doesn't make sense. Each had their own world and their own story, and now you want me to believe they were all from the same world with intertwining stories? I'm having a really difficult time doing so.

Above all of that, my main concern with this series is the same one I had with Prison Break at the end of the first season (that series died after they broke out of prison, you know it did)-- great concept! For about a minute.

How long can this go on? How long can all of these characters continue being oblivious and Emma slowly figuring things out but still claiming it isn't true and Henry getting blue in the face because no one believes him? How long before we run out of fairy tale characters to flash back to and show clever unknown backstories for?

Seriously... how long before people get tired of it, get fed up with having more questions than answers? Because I'm already on the brink. And after enduring the Lost years, I don't think people are going to be as forgiving/ patient/ supportive of something that isn't delivering the entertainment they expected.

But that's just me, and mine is only one opinion. Like I said before, my own sister is a hardcore fan. Maybe I'm overanalyzing.

What do you all think of this series? Are my comments sacrilegious, or sensible?

~Lydia

Keeping Things In Perspective

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Fresh Baked Books - Week Eight

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 15:00:00 +0000

Welcome to Fresh Baked Books, a weekly feature meant to encourage reading new books and trying new foods.
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Lydia's Book Review:

I had a busier-than-usual week/weekend (yesterday was my 12th wedding anniversary!) so I'm still reading my book of choice from last week. If you're wondering what it is, you need look no further than the sidebar. As soon as I finish it I'll edit this post and add my review. Thanks for being patient with me!

Lydia's Recipe Review:

The red velvet cupcakes were a hit! My son helped me make them... until we added the red food coloring and he said it looked too much like blood and quietly disappeared. When it was time to eat them, though, he was all over it! He helped decorate a few of them, too. Very delicious. Very fun.

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Releases This Week In YA

Contemporary:

ARISTOTLE AND DANTE DISCOVER THE SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

DOUBLE by Jenny Valentine

Science Fiction & Fantasy:

A BEAUTIFUL EVIL by Kelly Keaton

FAERY TALES & NIGHTMARES by Melissa Marr (anthology)

FEVER by Lauren DeStefano

INSIDE by Maria V. Snyder (omnibus-- 2 books in 1)

THE CATASTROPHIC HISTORY OF YOU AND ME by Jess Rothenberg

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Recipe: Baked Potato Casserole from Very Best Baking*
(so in the mood for comfort food this week)

Ingredients

8 medium potatoes (about 2 1/2 to 3 lb. total), peeled and cut into 1-inch chunks
1 cup NESTLÉ® CARNATION® Evaporated Lowfat 2% Milk
1/2 cup light sour cream
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 cups (8-oz. pkg.) shredded 2% cheddar cheese, divided
6 slices turkey bacon, cooked and crumbled, divided
Sliced green onions (optional)

Directions

PLACE potatoes in large saucepan. Cover with water; bring to a boil. Cook over medium-high heat for 15 to 20 minutes or until tender; drain.

PREHEAT oven to 350° F. Grease 2 1/2- to 3-quart casserole dish.

RETURN potatoes to saucepan; add evaporated milk, sour cream, salt and pepper. Beat with hand-held mixer until smooth. Stir in 1 1/2 cups cheese and half of bacon. Spoon mixture into prepared casserole dish.

BAKE for 20 to 25 minutes or until heated through. Top with remaining 1/2 cup cheese, remaining bacon and green onions. Bake for an additional 3 minutes or until cheese is melted.

TIP:
• This casserole can be assembled ahead of time and refrigerated. Cover with foil and bake at 350° F for 40 to 45 minutes or until heated. Uncover; top with cheese, bacon and green onions; bake for an additional 3 minutes or until cheese is melted.

*I do not claim ownership of this recipe
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Happy reading and baking!
~Lydia

Friday Query Critique

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Fri, 17 Feb 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Dear WonderfulAgentPerson:

[Insert specific but not overreaching personalization here]

As a paramedic, it’s Jocelyn Campbell’s job to take weird and terrible things in stride. Interstate pileups, her PTSD dreams, or handling her only relative’s death--no problem. However, getting chunked back to the 16th century by a cursed inheritance isn’t exactly her normal flavor of weird.

She hasn’t gone insane, at least not yet. And she is in Scotland, if her attractive but irritated discoverer Cayden MacLeod is any indication. Her Nikes convince him she actually is from the future, while her unladylike cursing solicits his appalled help in returning her to it--ASAP.

Luckily, Samhain, a time when the Fae and spirits walk the earth freely, is coming, and there might just be enough magick in the air to poof her back home. The trick will be staying alive until then, because after she learns why she hopped the interdimensional crazy train, things aren’t looking so hot: turns out she’s got a used soul from an ancient warrior queen, and her time-traveling means something really bad is about to happen to clan MacLeod. The fact that she’s supposed to save the day is awesome. That her soul is probably doomed…yeah, not so much.

The more she learns about her soul’s past, the clearer the threat becomes—a horrible history is repeating itself, and the first signs are already occurring. Falling in love with the MacLeod chief doesn’t help, because faced with almost certain death in the 16th century, staying doesn’t seem like much of an option…but neither does returning to her empty existence in the 21st.

THE PAINTED QUEEN is a paranormal romance novel complete at 95,000 words that would appeal to the readers of Karen Marie Moning and Diana Gabaldon. I have included the first X pages/chapters (whichever is specified) for your consideration and look forward to hearing from you.

Lydia's Comments

Dear WonderfulAgentPerson:

[Insert specific but not overreaching personalization here]

As a paramedic, it’s Jocelyn Campbell’s job to take weird and terrible things in stride. {My first thought here was that this isn't her "job" as a paramedic. I'd suggest rewriting the sentence to remove the phrase that it's her job to do this, and simply imply that her job entails this.} ~~Interstate pileups, her PTSD dreams, or handling her only relative’s death--no problem.~~ However, getting chunked back to ~~the~~ 16th century Scotland by a cursed inheritance isn’t exactly her normal flavor of weird. {Rather than use up your words talking about all the weird stuff in her "before world", I'd like to know more about what this "cursed inheritance" is and how it resulted in time travel. What happened? That seems vital to understanding your plot.}

She hasn’t gone insane, at least not yet. And she is in Scotland, if her attractive but irritated discoverer Cayden MacLeod is any indication. Her Nikes convince him she actually is from the future, while her unladylike cursing solicits his appalled help in returning her to it--ASAP.

If you can find a way to slip the MacLeod character into another paragraph, the rest of the above paragraph isn't necessary. (I moved Scotland up to the first paragraph, so the setting is clear from the start.)

Luckily, Samhain, a time when the Fae and spirits walk the earth freely, is coming, and there might just be enough magick in the air to poof her back home. The trick will be staying alive until then, because after she learns why she hopped the interdimensional crazy train, things aren’t looking so hot: turns out she’s got a used soul from an ancient warrior queen, and her time-traveling means something really bad is about to happen to clan MacLeod. {Too vague for my taste.} The fact that she’s supposed to save the day is awesome. That her soul is probably doomed…yeah, not so much.

The more she learns about her soul’s past, the clearer the threat becomes—a horrible history is repeating itself, and the first signs are already occurring. Falling in love with the MacLeod chief doesn’t help, because faced with almost certain death in the 16th century, staying doesn’t seem like much of an option…but neither does returning to her empty existence in the 21st. {I like the choice you highlight at the end here-- either stay in the past or return to the present/future-- but the rest of the paragraph feels extraneous.}

THE PAINTED QUEEN is a paranormal romance novel complete at 95,000 words that would appeal to the readers of Karen Marie Moning and Diana Gabaldon. I have included the first X pages/chapters (whichever is specified) for your consideration and look forward to hearing from you.

Overall this a good query. It just needs a few more tweaks to make it great. Clarify the inciting incident at the beginning and the threat at the end, and tighten up the wording throughout.

Thank you so much for offering your query for public critique. Good luck with this!

Does anyone else have any comments or suggestions for our brave writer-friend?

Happy Writing,
~Lydia

Editing to Life - Characterization

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Today I'm talking about editing and characterization at Writer Unboxed. Hope to see you there!

~Lydia
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Writer Unboxed logo by WU Community member, Kristy Condon

Defining the Lead Character (as demonstrated by Winnie the Pooh)

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 11:00:00 +0000

For those of you who don't know, I am a HUGE fan of the Winnie the Pooh franchise. When I was pregnant with my son we didn't know if we were having a boy or girl until he was born, but you know what? It didn't matter. I was going to decorate the nursery with beautifully gender neutral Winnie the Pooh decals regardless.

My son is eight now, and he's more into Legos, Star Wars, and trying to sneak in a game of Call of Duty when he thinks I'm not paying attention than anything that has to do with the Hundred-Acre Wood. The only rumbly tumbly he is ever concerned about is his own-- and The Boy just will not stop eating and growing! He's nearly at my shoulder! And he's only eight!

(please excuse the mom-freakout, my baby is clearly a baby no more)

Despite the fact that Pooh and Friends no longer grace his bedroom walls, I still purchase Winnie the Pooh "books and such" whenever I have the chance. For myself. I refuse to give up this part of me. I've been a fan since... my whole life.

And as a fan, I've noticed a few things over the years (read: decades).

1. In a group of many, Pooh is always the lead character.

If we count Kanga and Christopher Robin, even though they are the two most rarely seen, there are nine protagonists. But the stories always start with Pooh. He drives the story forward from beginning to end, or rather, his need for Hunny drives the story forward.

The lead character has the main goal that pushes everything and everyone else into action. The lead is the main driving force. Basically, the story revolves around this person. If you were to remove that character, the plot would fail. This doesn't necessarily mean that the lead has to be the viewpoint character, but they usually are (especially in middle grade and young adult novels).

2. Pooh ultimately has the most at stake in the stories.

In the eternal quest for his next "smackerel of something", Pooh and his Friends go on many adventures. But it all boils down to whether or not Pooh will satisfy his empty belly. Everything else is just a subplot.

3. Pooh's goal is primal, and appropriate for the intended audience.

What is a primal goal? Something that any human can relate to-- love, hunger, survival, etc. This is the most effective type of goal to keep a reader engaged in the story.

Pooh's primal goal is to calm his rumbly tumbly. Being that he is a character meant for young children, this is an appropriate goal for that audience. Even an oblivious newborn can relate to hunger. But something like love? It's not quite so cut-and-dry. Hunger is what makes Pooh an instantly alive character we want to succeed.

4. Pooh is not the only defined character.

Having a lead character with a unique personality doesn't negate the need for a defined supporting cast. Every character in the Hundred-Acre Wood has their own quirks. Owl is a "wise" know-it-all, Eeyore is apathetic and depressed, Piglet is nervous and scared, Roo is curious, Tigger is adventurous, Rabbit is a perfectionist, etc.

Pooh is the most endearing of them all, though. He is just a pudgy, cuddly, "silly old bear" who wants some Hunny, and is always ready to help others when they need it. A good lead character is proven worthy by his supporting cast. His friends love him so we are inclined to love him, too. Again, this loveableness is appropriate for the audience.

The older the audience, the less need for an entirely loveable protagonist-- but you still need a protagonist with a primal goal. You still need a protagonist that drives the story, above all the rest, who is so interwoven with the plot that you can't remove them. You still need a protagonist with something to lose (something at stake). And you still need a protagonist with defined, unique characterization, someone that a reader is willing to associate with through the length of your story.

Who are your favorite lead characters, and why?

Happy writing,
~Lydia

Teaser Tuesday

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Since there was such an overwhelmingly positive response to Brighton last week, here is another sniplet from my newest YA contemp project, THE SEVEN DEATHS OF KAT MONROE. This part happens a bit further into the story and should give you a better idea of the main premise.

Sharing with a link is okay, but please do not copy/paste my work. Thank you, and enjoy!

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Kat takes another bite of her doughnut and custard oozes onto her dark red lips. She licks it away before the brain in my pants has a chance to commandeer the one in my head. "What happened to your face?" she says, still chewing.

Manners much? "This is nothing. You should see the other guy."

"Like I've never heard that one before. If you're going to call yourself a liar, be more creative." Chomp chomp chomp. "Why did you say I'm not supposed to be here? Just to be a jerk and get my attention?"

Yes. And, "I didn't think murderers needed counseling to grieve their victims."

"I'm not a murderer. Murder is done on purpose. I didn't want any of them to die, I'm cursed." She takes another bite. "You should stay away from me. I can't control it."

Not a chance. This just got entirely too interesting. "How many are we talking here?"

Swallow. Lick. "Seven."

I couldn't have heard that right. "Seven?"

She nods, almost imperceptibly.

"Wow. That's… awesome."

This comment sends her back into adorably angry mode (which she channels into devouring the rest of her doughnut), but I wasn't kidding or lying. I was thinking I could be number eight. Maybe that's why Fate brought us together. I need to die and can't seem to accomplish it on my own, no matter how many different ways I try, and she somehow gets away with killing people. Kat is my sweet little Angel of Death.

"So how does this curse of yours work, exactly?"

"You really need to stay away from me."

"Why, is that it? Death by proximity? Or something more interesting, like, you're a descendent of Medusa." I lean my head in so close to hers that our foreheads kiss. She can't not look in my eyes. "How long before I turn to stone?"

Her fist connects with my gut and I fall back against the couch, groaning (her pixie punch wouldn't have hurt me if I wasn't already sore). Should have seen that coming, but I had a 0.001% glimmer of hope that I'd actually be a statue by now.

THE SEVEN DEATHS OF KAT MONROE
©2012 by Lydia Sharp

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Thanks so much for reading!
~Lydia

Fresh Baked Books - Week Seven

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Welcome to Fresh Baked Books, a weekly feature meant to encourage reading new books and trying new foods.

If you read any of these books or bake the recipe below, and would like to share your thoughts, let me know! (comment here, @ mention me in a tweet, or email me) My reviews will posted the following week.
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Releases This Week In YA:

Contemporary:

GRAFFITI MOON by Cath Crowley

SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE by Katie Dale

THE BUTTERFLY CLUES by Kate Ellison

THE DISENCHANTMENTS by Nina LaCour

THE FINE ART OF TRUTH OR DARE by Melissa Jensen

THE JADE NOTEBOOK by Laura Resau

TRAFFICKED by Kim Purcell

VARIOUS POSITIONS by Martha Schabas

Science Fiction & Fantasy:

ARCADIA AWAKENS by Kai Meyer

ARTICLE 5 by Kristen Simmons

BEWITCHING by Alex Flinn

DIABOLICAL by Cynthia Leitich Smith

THE GALAHAD LEGACY by Dom Testa

THE NIGHTMARE GARDEN by Caitlin Kittridge

THE VANISHING GAME by Kate Kae Myers

THIEF'S COVENANT by Ari Marmell

Historical Fiction:

MY FAMILY FOR THE WAR by Anne C. Voorhoeve

SCARLET by A.C. Gaughen

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Recipe: Easy Red Velvet Cupcakes from allrecipes*

Ingredients

1/2 cup butter
1 1/2 cups white sugar
2 eggs
1 cup buttermilk
1 fluid ounce red food coloring
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
1 tablespoon distilled white vinegar
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 teaspoon salt

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease two 12 cup muffin pans or line with 20 paper baking cups.
In a large bowl, beat the butter and sugar with an electric mixer until light and fluffy. Mix in the eggs, buttermilk, red food coloring and vanilla. Stir in the baking soda and vinegar. Combine the flour, cocoa powder and salt; stir into the batter just until blended. Spoon the batter into the prepared cups, dividing evenly.
Bake in the preheated oven until the tops spring back when lightly pressed, 20 to 25 minutes. Cool in the pan set over a wire rack. When cool, arrange the cupcakes on a serving platter and frost with desired frosting.

*I do not claim ownership of this recipe
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Happy reading and baking!
~Lydia

More Proof That Book Titles Are an Important Part of Your Query Pitch

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 16:00:00 +0000

In a previous post I'd mentioned that there is a common belief among unpublished writers that it doesn't really matter if your title isn't quite as good as it can be when you're at the query stage because "an editor is just going to change it anyway."

This viewpoint really bothers me, especially since it is the published authors who are to blame for it. Unpublished writers didn't figure this out on their own, they were told this by people who have experienced it. But as an author, it's your job to make sure every part of your work is as good as you think it can be before you query it to an agent or an editor. It's a crucial part of your pitch as well, which I'd explained in the aforementioned post. I've discussed this in some of my public query critiques, too.

But who am I to tell you what's what? Perhaps you'd rather see an agent's thoughts on the subject? Consider it done! This is from literary agent Molly's Jaffa's Twitter feed:

You should include "query" and your book's title in your query's subject line. That title makes a big first impression!
If your title sounds dated or seems unoriginal, I'll read your query with that mindset.

Your title is important. Your title is important. Your title is important.

I had an editor tell me in his acceptance letter that my title was what initially piqued his interest in the story. He hadn't read a word of the story yet and already, I had him hooked. That story was published last year--the editor did not change the title.

Every time someone makes a comment to the tune of "the title doesn't matter now because the editor might change it anyway," somewhere in the world a book flings itself from a towering shelf. If it's an ebook it contracts an incurable virus.

Don't be a book murderer. Give your title the attention it deserves before you send any queries.

~Lydia

Friday Query Critique

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 11:00:00 +0000

My lovely writer-friends! I've had such a great response to Friday Query Critique that I have to put a halt on new queries at this time. Anyone who has sent a query and received confirmation of receipt, I will post your critique in the upcoming weeks. Any new queries received, as of today, will be deleted unread.

Once I get through the queue, I'm going to take a break from public query critiques for an as-of-yet undetermined length of time. But I plan to do a regular Friday Query Critique again in the future. Thank you all so much for making this a success!

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Query:

Dear Mr./Ms. Agent,

I am currently seeking representation for THE GUARDIAN OF THRESHOLD, a 98,000 words work of urban-fantasy fiction, aimed primarily at the young adult market.

How far would you go to see a dead parent again?

The death of a parent would disturb any fifteen-year-old, but for Mark Anthony Ryser it throws him beyond the threshold and into the world of the dead. There he must find his dead mother, defeat Phasma and rescue his best friend. On top of it all, there is no guarantee that he'll ever set foot in the physical world again, or if his body will be waiting for him when he returns.

THE GUARDIAN OF THRESHOLD is a complete story in itself and the first volume of the series called THRESHOLD CHRONICLES.

I would like to thank you in advance for your kind time and consideration.
The complete manuscript and synopsis are available upon your request.

Lydia's Comments:

Dear Mr./Ms. Agent,

~~I am currently seeking representation for~~ {No need to state the obvious.} THE GUARDIAN OF THRESHOLD is a ~~98,000 words work of urban-fantasy fiction, aimed primarily at the young adult market~~. young adult urban fantasy novel of 98,000 words.

{Put the above paragraph at the end of your pitch.}

How far would you go to see a dead parent again? {Not a fan of starting with a question.

A) The question is aimed at me, the reader, which has a 99.99% chance of me providing an answer that has nothing to do with this story.

B) I'd rather you start with your lead character than make me think about myself.

If you'd like to see how an agent feels about starting with a rhetorical question, click HERE.}

The death of a parent would disturb any fifteen-year-old, {The way this is worded puts unnecessary distance between me and the lead character. It feels more like the author is telling me about him, instead of him talking about himself.} but for Mark Anthony Ryser it throws him beyond the threshold and into the world of the dead. {Need more here. How does this happen? Why is he different than the average teen?} There he must find his dead mother, defeat Phasma and rescue his best friend. {Why, why, and why? You listed three things he "must" do, but I have no idea what's really going on here, or what's at stake.} On top of it all, {generic segue} there is no guarantee that he'll ever set foot in the physical world again, {Why?} or if his body will be waiting for him when he returns. {Why?}

THE GUARDIAN OF THRESHOLD is a ~~complete story in itself and the first volume of the series called THRESHOLD CHRONICLES.~~ stand alone novel with series potential.

I would like to thank you in advance for your kind time and consideration.
The complete manuscript and synopsis are available upon your request.

You have a lot of room to expand this, make it less confusing and more tense. Sometimes it's possible to present all the necessary points in a single brief paragraph, but two is usually better. As is, my question of "why?" is said out of confusion rather than anticipation.

It's a delicate balance between "not enough" and "too much" information.

Start with your lead character. Make it clear why this person is going on this journey. Without that in the beginning the rest of it isn't going to make sense.

Thank you for offering your query for public critique, and good luck with this!

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Does anyone else have any comments or suggestions for our brave writer-friend?

Happy writing,
~Lydia

How to Feel Miserable as an Artist

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 11:00:00 +0000

From the Archives: Am I a Writer?

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 13:30:00 +0000

This post was originally published on June 3, 2010.
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Quite possibly the best quote ever, on so many levels.

The question, "Am I a writer?" is irrelevant. The real question is, do you want to write?

Writers write. You get up every morning and hit that keyboard. You get the words down and build stories. You might have to do other things to keep groceries in the pantry, but above and beyond everything else, you write. Every day. Despite all the disappointments, despite all the obstacles, you write.

Every day.

As you write, you learn. You create characters and give them problems and make them work to solve their problems. You send your stories out to market and keep sending them until somebody starts to publish them. But the stark fact is that no one can know if you're a writer - you won't know it yourself - until you have written well enough to be published.

Frankly, most people give up. Writing is hard, lonely work and they get tired of it. But every successful writer starts exactly where you are now, and succeeds by writing and writing and writing until they get published regularly.

Do the work. Write. Learn. Write every day. Read and learn from published writers. Work at it every day. There's no other way to become a writer.

Good luck,
--Ben Bova

For more tips and advice from Ben Bova, click HERE.

Happy Writing,
~Lydia

Teaser Tuesday

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Haven't done one of these in a while, so. Here it is.

Today's sniplet is from my current YA contemp novel in-progress. Plus the newest song to be added onto the playlist for this piece (songs already added are here, here, and here). Enjoy!

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New Girl takes a seat to my left. Far to my left. And since we're sitting in a circle that almost puts her directly across from me. She avoids eye contact like she's a Puritan and I'm the personification of Sin. Fine. It's not like I care, I'm just curious. We're all here for a specific reason. She'll have to spill hers eventually.

After the video ends Dr. Box turns on the lights and introduces New Girl to the group. Her name is Kathryn.

"Just Kat," she says, focusing on the floor in the middle of our circle. Beige carpeting. Bland bland bland like everything else in this room. If she rubbed off all her makeup on the carpet she'd have a prettier face and leave a design for us to study, like those ink blot tests. Then we could spend the next hour telling each other what we see in it. Because that would be as (un)helpful as discussing this video will be, but a lot more interesting.

Dr. Box asks us to go around the circle and introduce ourselves. There are six of us today, not including New Girl Kat.

"Hey, I'm Brighton," I say. "I'm in for suicidal depression and an incurable sex addiction. My psychiatrist gave me pills for the former and prophylactics for the latter."

I get The Look from Dr. Box. Which means I'll also get The Talk after group session is over. Chuck shakes his head and laughs (because he's actually the one with the sex addiction, among other things). And Kat has finally given me her attention, dark red lips parted in disbelief or disgust or maybe both.

Supercilious grin. "I'm also a pathological liar."

THE SEVEN DEATHS OF KAT MONROE
©2012 by Lydia Sharp

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Thanks for reading!
~Lydia

Fresh Baked Books - Week Six

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Welcome to Fresh Baked Books, a weekly feature meant to encourage reading and trying new foods.

At the beginning of each week I'll post the new releases in YA lit along with a baking recipe. If you would like to be included in the post the following week, email me by Saturday night. Send a brief review (no more than a paragraph for each) of what you read and/or baked. Photos are welcome, but not required. If you would rather not review a book, simply tell me what book/s you read.

If you participate one week you are not obligated to do so the next week. Just jump in whenever you can. I'll be playing along from week to week, too!

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Lydia's Book Review:

Last week I read MY AWESOME/AWFUL POPULARITY PLAN by Seth Rudetsky. The humor in this novel is like no other comedy I've ever read. I laughed out loud on nearly every page. Justin is the perfect viewpoint character to carry you through the outrageous shenanigans of aiming to be popular-- a plan which has FAIL written all over it from the start.

Justin is gay and Jewish and musically gifted and a Broadway fanboy and funny in his own way, which unfortunately all adds up to a single word: unpopular. But all he wants is for his dream guy, Chuck, to notice him (and have a raging make-out session with him). Is that so much to ask? Well, for Chuck's popular girlfriend, Becky, it is. And for Chuck, too (also popular). But when Becky needs to hide her relationship with Chuck from her overbearing father, she enlists Justin as her fake boyfriend... and suddenly Justin's plans to become popular and get noticed by Chuck are on their way to sure success! (Maybe.)

Even with all that hilarity going on, my favorite part of the story was Spencer, Justin's (also gay) best friend. He's one of those characters I found myself wishing was a real person. He has a quality of humanness about him that made him incredibly endearing. He is also the perfect calm and wise counterpart to Justin's clueless, spontaneous nature.

If you're in the mood for laughing yourself into stomach cramps, this is definitely the book for you.
_____

Releases This Week In YA:

Contemporary:

DEAD TO YOU by Lisa McMann
tags: orphans & foster homes, dating & sex, emotional issues

DJ RISING by Love Maia
tags: music, drug abuse, mother/son relationships

IN TOO DEEP by Amanda Grace
tags: honesty, rumors, physical & emotional abuse

THE MISEDUCATION OF CAMERON POST by Emily M. Danforth
tags: lgbt, orphans, religion, dating & sex

THE ONE THAT I WANT by Jennifer Echols
tags: friends, dating, emotional issues, love & romance

THE RIVALS by Daisy Whitney
tags: boarding schools, secret societies, cheating

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE by Sara Shepard
tags: twin sisters, murder, mystery, dating & sex

Science Fiction & Fantasy:

ALMOST EVERYTHING by Tate Hallaway
tags: vampires, witches, love & romance

BORN WICKED by Jessica Spotswood
tags: sisters, witches, love & romance

FEARLESS by Francine Pascal (omnibus edition of 3 titles: FEARLESS; SAM; RUN)
tags: action/adventure, terrorism, dating & sex, paranormal

ONCE by Cameron Dokey (omnibus edition of 3 titles: BEFORE MIDNIGHT; GOLDEN; WILD ORCHID)
tags: fairy tales & folklore, family, love & romance

PURE by Julianna Baggott
tags: dystopian, post-apocalyptic, thriller

THE WOOD QUEEN by Karen Mahoney
tags: magic, witches, paranormal

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Recipe: Italian Sausage & Potato Bake
from allrecipes.com*

Ingredients

2 teaspoons olive oil
2 pounds Italian sausage links, cut into 2-inch pieces
1/4 cup olive oil
4 large potatoes, peeled and thickly sliced
2 large green bell peppers, seeded and cut into wedges
2 large red bell peppers, seeded and cut into wedges
3 large onions, cut into wedges
1/2 cup white wine
1/2 cup chicken stock
1 teaspoon Italian seasoning
salt and pepper to taste

Directions

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C).
Heat 2 teaspoons olive oil in a large skillet over medium heat, and cook and stir the sausage until browned. Transfer the cooked sausage to a large baking dish. Pour 1/4 cup of olive oil into the skillet, and cook the potatoes, stirring occasionally, until browned, about 10 minutes. Place the potatoes into the baking dish, leaving some oil. Cook and stir the green and red peppers and onions in the hot skillet until they are beginning to soften, about 5 minutes. Add the vegetables to the baking dish. Pour wine and chicken stock over the vegetables and sausage, and sprinkle with Italian seasoning, salt, and pepper. Gently stir the sausage, potatoes, and vegetables together.
Bake in the preheated oven until hot and bubbling, 20 to 25 minutes. Serve hot.

*I do not claim ownership of this recipe

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Happy reading & baking!
~Lydia

January Reads

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 14:40:00 +0000

In January I read, and finished, a total of 7 novels:

ASH by Malinda Lo ~ 2009 (YA fantasy)
CINDER by Marissa Meyer ~ 2012 (YA sci-fi)
DITCHED by Robin Mellom ~ 2012 (YA romantic comedy)
THE PRINCESS CURSE by Merrie Haskell ~ 2011 (MG fantasy)
LOVETORN by Kavita Daswani ~ 2012 (YA contemp)
CROSSED by Ally Condie ~ 2011 (YA sci-fi)
STORY OF A GIRL by Sara Zarr ~ 2007 (YA contemp)

Of those 7 I had a tie for "favorite read" between CINDER and DITCHED (the links will take you to my goodreads reviews). All of the above titles are worth reading, in my opinion, but those two really wowed me.

My 2012 reading goal is 75 books, so I'm still "on track" to meet that goal as we go into February.

How are you all doing with your reading goals so far? What was your "favorite read" in January?

Happy reading,
~Lydia

Friday Query Critique

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 11:00:00 +0000

If you would like to offer your query for public critique, send it to lydiasharp4sff (at) yahoo (dot) com and put "query critique" somewhere in the subject line.

You may email your query at any time and I will send you a confirmation of receipt.

One critique be posted each Friday on a "first come, first serve" basis. I will email you a notification the day your query critique appears on the blog. All queries are posted anonymous.

Queries can be for novels of any genre, but my specific areas of interest are science fiction, fantasy, contemporary women's fiction, and young adult fiction (contemporary, romance, science fiction, fantasy).

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QUERY

My book is an urban fantasty chick-lit novel called Kissing a gorgon. It is about a 21st Century woman, named Medusa, who is trying to make it in the Big Apple. She must battle her approaching 30's, her gorgon heritage, and her on off again relationship with the fallen god, Ares.

Her partner in crime is the flamboyant bi-sexual Hermes, who helps her with PR for the fallen Greek Gods and Mythical Beings.

Medusa has just turned 30 and has discovered she does not have the genetic stone disease which plagues her kind. Now she must figure out the life she never planned for.

The Climatic turning point comes when she makes a routine trip home to Gorgon isle to visit her mother. While there, she learns her true identity; she was created from an ancient Gorgon ritual using the original Medusa's blood. Her aunt informs her she is destined to be the new Queen of the Gorgons, but she is not ready to give up her life in New York. And there's a pressing issue with humans starting to worship the political, stoic Prometheus. This situation creates complicated feelings for Medusa, as she is not sure if her relationship with Prometheus is platonic or something more. If enough humans worship him again, the Gods could regain their powers. More than a few Gods would like to extract revenge on the humans they once enslaved.

I am requesting to send pages for your review. I have enclosed a SASE envelope as well.

Thank you.

LYDIA'S COMMENTS

My book is an urban fantasty chick-lit novel called ~~Kissing a gorgon~~ KISSING A GORGON. {book titles should be in ALL CAPS} It is about a 21st Century woman, named Medusa, who is trying to make it in the Big Apple. {What is she trying to make it as? a business woman? an artist? etc. This is a good opportunity to give some brief insight into her character.} She must battle her approaching 30's,{as a woman in her thirties who is battling many things, I'd like to know what you're specifically referring to here} her gorgon heritage,{again, I need a more specific reference here. Do you mean that she has to hide her head of snakes?} and her on off again on-again/off-again relationship with the fallen god, Ares.

Her partner in crime is the flamboyant bi-sexual Hermes, who helps her with PR for the fallen Greek Gods and Mythical Beings. {This paragraph feels unnecessary. Either expand it or cut it.}

So far this is a really interesting concept, but I'm not understanding the plot.

Medusa has just turned 30 and has discovered she does not have the genetic stone disease which plagues her kind. Now she must figure out the life she never planned for. {this paragraph doesn't connect to anything}

~~The Climatic turning point comes~~ when she makes a routine trip home to Gorgon isle to visit her mother. ~~While there,~~ she learns her true identity; she was created from an ancient Gorgon ritual using the original Medusa's blood. Her aunt informs her she is destined to be the new Queen of the Gorgons, but she is not ready to give up her life in New York. {I get the sense that this is a major conflict for her, but since I don't know what her "life in New York" was all about, the tension is lost.} And there's a pressing issue with humans starting to worship the political, stoic Prometheus. This situation creates complicated feelings for Medusa, as she is not sure if her relationship with Prometheus is platonic or something more. {This is another conflict that lost tension for me because it doesn't connect to anything.} If enough humans worship him again, the Gods could regain their powers. More than a few Gods would like to extract revenge on the humans they once enslaved. {Again, no solid connection. All of the points are fine on their own, but when thrown together there is no cohesiveness. I step away from this pitch feeling lost.}

I am requesting to send pages for your review. I have enclosed a SASE ~~envelope~~ as well. {the E stands for envelope}

Thank you.

As I said above, you have an interesting concept here. The idea of mythical gods living as people, blending in with the modern American populous, is quite intriguing. Add to this that the main character is Medusa-- my personal favorite from Greek mythology-- and I believe you have an idea worth reading about here.

The main problem I have with the query, however, is that the presentation of the plot isn't following a natural flow from one point to the next.

Start with your main character-- who she is and what her goal is.
Then go into your conflict-- what prevents her from that goal.
Then raise the stakes-- what makes the conflict worse, more intense, perhaps even a matter of life and death.
End on a tough choice the main character must make that is directly connected to the main conflict you've presented.

To see more clearly what I mean by the above points, study the example I highlighted at the end of this post.

Also, the overall tone of the query feels like a cold reading of events. Write the query as if you are the main character relaying your story (albeit in third person) rather than the author talking about a story you wrote.

There are a lot of typos in this query. Before sending any piece of writing to an agent or editor, have someone proofread it for you.

Thank you for offering your query for public critique. Good luck with this!

_____

Does anyone else have any suggestions or comments for our brave writer-friend?

Happy writing,
~Lydia

The Act Three Showdown, aka the Climax

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 13:23:00 +0000

It should feel like this*:

I've discussed this before, here. And THANK YOU to Elle Strauss for reminding me of this epidemic in published fiction, with her blog post, here.

Authors and editors:

Endings should be BIG. The reader should be able to pinpoint the CLIMAX, the point where all the conflict that has been building over the course of the novel has finally reached its PEAK-- even if the book is part of a series, the ending of each book should resolve something. This should be the biggest, most INTENSE conflict of the entire novel. It should feel like a SHOWDOWN between the protagonist and the antagonist (whoever or whatever the antagonist happens to be).

The number one reason I knock off a star from a book rating is because the ending wasn't big enough or it didn't satisfy. This needs to stop. This needs to change. It's bringing down the quality of our reading choices.

~Lydia

* language warning

Back to Basics - Writing a Query (slash) Pitch (slash) Jacket Blurb

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 11:00:00 +0000

The fine art of writing a pitch for your story is not something only to be learned by those seeking a literary agent. If you want to self-publish, you need a catchy jacket blurb to attract your audience. If you want to pitch directly to an editor, you need pretty much the same skills as you need to write a query letter for an agent, both of those requiring you to stand out in the slush pile. If you already have an agent and/or a book deal, you still need to know how to do this-- for your next book.

It doesn't go away. Ever. As long as you want to write and publish novels, you need to know how to sell them with 1-3 brief paragraphs.

I've blogged about this before. But this is a skill we must continually sharpen, so it bears repeating.

As I mentioned somewhere in the ramblings of yesterday's post, whenever I get a new idea for a story (whether it be short fiction or novel), I write a brief blurb for it and select a tentative title.

Why is the title so important? Because the title is half your pitch. Whether the reader sees the title before or after reading the pitch, once they have both pieces it should instantly make sense.

One of my biggest pet peeves when reading query letters, or, sometimes, even when reading jacket blurbs of published novels, is not seeing a clear connection between the title and the pitch. I read the query pitch and get to the paragraph that states the title/genre/word count and go... wait a minute, what? That is never a good thing. The title should instantly make sense. No questions. No backtracks to find the relevance.

The first thing I notice on a book I'm contemplating to read is the cover image. The second thing? Is the title.

title = what your story is about (this is detailed in the pitch)

It's a very simple equation, but many authors seem to forget this when writing their query letter. A perfect title doesn't always come to you right away. In fact, the idea I was talking about just yesterday has already received a new title. Why? Because I developed the concept more since first penning it, and my original title choice wasn't doing its job. It didn't connect as well as the new one.

And the argument that "an editor is likely going to change your title anyway so why concern yourself over it?" is not really valid, in my opinion. Yes, a lot of titles are changed before a book is published. But if the title is half your pitch, it matters at every stage of the process before publication as well. It could be the difference between a yes and a no, even if the agent/editor doesn't realize that the awkward title is contributing to their "just not quite feeling this concept."

The title is an important part of your pitch. Give it just as much effort as you do the rest of it.

My best example from my own work is Summer Hoax, and no surprise, this project got more attention from agents than anything else I've queried. The premise is clearly relevant to the title.

Summer Hoax is about a girl who agrees to play the fake girlfriend of a still-in-the-closet gay guy for one summer, and ends up falling in love with him.

And this nicely brings me to my next point:

The tighter the concept, the easier it is to write the pitch. If you can slim down your concept to a single line, without losing anything vital-vital, without losing the vision you need the reader to have to make a decision on whether or not they like it, then expanding that sentence into 1-3 brief paragraphs is CAKE.

I had trouble with this myself regarding my novel Social Graces. I will be the first to admit that it isn't "high concept." It's more of a literary story than it is commercial. I had a hard time, at first, separating the character arc from the plot. They are so very closely knit together. Because of this, I struggled with this query more than I did with the query for Summer Hoax, which seemed downright effortless by comparison.

But that doesn't mean it was impossible. It just took more effort to present a clear story arc in the same few words. My first few drafts of the Social Graces query had far too many random details, and my Big Choice at the end wasn't connecting to the rest of it as well as it should have been. I'm not sure how many drafts I wrote for that particular pitch, but it felt like a thousand. Once I got it where it needed to be, though, it did its job. I got requests to read the manuscript.

So if you have a novel that is more literary, character-focused, and/or you don't feel it is necessarily "high concept", don't lose hope. You can still write an effective pitch for it.

What makes it especially hard for an author to write their own jacket blurb, or query letter, is that they are too close to the story-- THEY KNOW TOO MANY DETAILS. These details crowd you and the query letter becomes a chore.

Writing a pitch is NOT about divulging all the details. It's about balancing between "not enough" and "too much." It's about teasing.

In a one-sentence description of your premise, there is no way you're going to get everything out that explains your concept. But it is enough to entice the reader into wanting to know more. And that's all you're doing with a query letter/jacket blurb as well. You have to present only what is absolutely vital, but without making it feel like something crucial is missing.

There is a difference between intrigue and confusion, and THAT is the difference between a yes and a no. The more concise you are, the better.

This means focusing on a single story thread for your pitch (the main one, obvs), regardless of how many you have so creatively twisted/weaved into the plot. The easiest way for me to remember what is vital in a pitch is with the 3 Cs.

the 3 Cs of an effective pitch = character, conflict, choice

Rather than explain how this works, and risk losing you with my words, I'm going to highlight each of the 3 Cs in the following example of what I consider to be an excellent jacket blurb.

Butter by Erin Lange ~ YA contemp (upcoming 2012 release from Bloomsbury)

423 pounds.
One dangerous defining moment.

A boy everyone calls “Butter” {character "who?"} is about to make Scottsdale High history. He’s going to eat himself to death live on the Internet – and everyone will watch. {character goal}

He announces his deadly plan to an army of peers and expects pity, insults or even indifference. Instead, he finds morbid encouragement. {conflict}

When that encouragement tips the scales into popularity, Butter has a reason to live. {stakes raised} But if he doesn’t go through with his plan, he’ll lose everything. {clear choice}

This is what I call a rare case of "high concept contemporary." Again, the tighter the concept, the easier it is to write the pitch. Notice how few words the author needed to make the premise shine.

So, in review, the basics of an effective pitch are:

1. title = what your book is about (as presented in the pitch)

2. the tighter the concept, the less words needed to make it clear

3. tease - give only the vital details of the main plot thread to entice and prevent confusion

4. use all three Cs = character, conflict, choice (in that order)

If there is anything in today's post that you have a question on, please feel free to ask in the comments section below. I will answer as best as I can, as promptly as I can.

Happy writing,
~Lydia

Inspirations, aka, Where Do Ideas Come From?

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

The answer to the question "where do your ideas come from?" is never easy, which is why I rarely focus on this topic here on the blog. But I had an odd inspirational spark this past Sunday, so it reminded me of this question I often avoid answering.

Sunday was a weird day for me. The previous week had mentally exhausted me, and it all caught up with me in a big ball of non-motivational blech. At one point I actually said to The Hubby, "I don't even want to read today. I can't write. I'm not in the mood to clean. All I want to do is sit on the couch all day and watch movies."

And that's what I ended up doing. One of the movies was a 90s classic, The Quick and the Dead. It's one of my favorites of all time, cheesy as it is at certain points. I love Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe and Gene Hackman. I love a good Western. I can tolerate Sharon Stone in that movie because her character is so disturbed. In fact, ALL the characters in that movie are distinctly unique, and that's probably the main reason I love it as a whole. Also, the shooting contest is a great adhesive for the plot. (But now I'm drifting into a post on craft, which is not my intent today, so. Moving on.)

While watching that movie, a single image caught my attention and sparked an idea. I'm talking about nothing more than a couple seconds of time. That's all it took to plant a seed in my brain and let it grow.

This isn't the exact image, but it's close to the one that sparked my inspiration. I couldn't find the exact one, unfortunately. If you've seen the movie, the exact image appears shortly after this part-- an overhead shot of when they're dragging Leo's character's body away from the redheaded girl as she watches, crying, still holding his hat.

And if you haven't seen the movie, I'm sorry, I just gave away that his character dies. But you have no excuse, really. The movie is 17 years old.

My original spark of an idea consisted of a historical setting, obviously, because I was watching a Western. But my brain quickly tossed that out. I have no desire to write a historical novel set in the Old West. I love watching that type of movie, but as a writer, no. It's not for me. In the meantime, the movie continued playing, but my brain was still focused on that single image, tinkering with it, puzzling out a way to make it work in a YA contemp story.

By the time the movie was done, I had a more complete idea formed, enough so that I could add it to my Idea Folder. In the Idea Folder I write a brief blurb and select a tentative title. Those are the two vital building blocks I need to develop the story later.

Side point: every novelist should have an Idea Folder. Not all ideas will be worth developing into novels, but you should have a good number of ideas to choose from at any given time.

Later in the evening, while I was scheduling the blog post for yesterday, this idea kept musing, brewing. Then the Pandora gods smiled on me, and the perfect song for my Shiny New Idea appeared on my shuffle. This resulted in a few more layers and details and characters materializing in my head.

Here is that song (language warning). The overall tone and the lyrics are spot-on perfect:

If I look back on what initially sparked the idea, it really has no solid connection to what has developed so far. And the further things develop with an idea, the less an outsider will understand how you got from inspiration to fully formed novel. Which is why I hate the question, "where do your ideas come from?" There is never just one simple answer.

This idea involves multiple deaths revolving around one person. In a contemporary setting, that automatically makes it dark. Add to this that both the lead characters are mentally and emotionally unstable-- they meet in group therapy, what does that tell you?-- and we have a very distinct type of work developing here. So far, it has all the makings of an issue book.

But I wouldn't call it that. It's actually a romance.

Say what? (That shouldn't surprise people who know my writing, though, because I don't write your typical heart-fluttering romance. It's always twisted and off-the-wall somehow.)

I'd love to tell you more, but I can't publicly divulge any specifics when it's still so new. It could end up being nothing more than a titled blurb idling away in my Idea Folder for the rest of eternity. Only time will tell.

As for the inspiration, that part is already done. When someone asks "where do your ideas come from?", the answer is never easy, because even that initial spark is multi-faceted, a combination of several things happening in your brain all at the same time.

But when someone asks "where do ideas come from?", without addressing it to a specific person, the answer is quite simple. Ideas are everywhere, and they can come from anywhere at any moment. They are often not something searched for, but thrown at you without warning. All you have to do is recognize them for what they are.

Before this past Sunday, I'd seen The Quick and the Dead and heard "You're Gonna Go Far, Kid" more times than I can recount. It wasn't until the Idea Stars aligned that I saw how I could bring them together and form something completely new. And I'm guessing it works the same way for all creative persons, no matter what their area of artistic skill.

But that's just me. What do you all think about inspirations?

Happy writing,
~Lydia

Fresh Baked Books - Week Five

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Happy Monday, blog friends!

Overly enthusiastic greeting = a cover-up, yes, you got me.

I feel like I failed you all this week because I was so busy last week that I didn't finish reading my book choice in time to review it today, and... I didn't get my pizza pretzels done either, despite real plans to do so on more than one occasion.

[insert ashamed face here]

So I have no reviews to post. Ugh. But the busyness was for good reason, part of it writing-related and part of it family-visiting-from-out-of-state-related.

If anyone tried out the pizza pretzels (which I will be making today, honest), please let us know in the comments. And if anyone read any of last week's books (list is here), please let us know if you recommend them. Thanks!

_____

Releases This Week In YA

Contemporary:

BENEATH A METH MOON by Jacqueline Woodson
tags: methamphetamine abuse, Hurricane Katrina, death & dying

CATCH AND RELEASE by Blythe Woolston
tags: disease & illness, sports & recreation, social issues

CHOPSTICKS by Jessica Anthony & Rodrigo Corral
tags: mystery, love & romance, music

DROWNING INSTINCT by Ilsa J. Bick
tags: family, dating & sex, mental illness, emotional issues

NEW GIRL by Paige Harbison
tags: boarding schools, mystery, love & romance

THE EDUMACATION OF JAY BAKER by Jay Clark
tags: school, dating & sex, humor

THE GIRLS OF NO RETURN by Erin Saldin
tags: friendship, action/adventure, self-esteen & self-reliance

THE KNIFE AND THE BUTTERFLY by Ashley Hope Pérez
tags: juvenile detention, mystery, gangs

THE LIFEGUARD by Deborah Blumenthal
tags: love & romance, death & dying, divorce

THIS ONE TIME WITH JULIA by David Lampson
tags: mystery, dating & sex, social issues

Science Fiction & Fantasy:

ANGELINA'S SECRET by Lisa Rogers
tags: paranormal, ghosts, mental illness

GREEN HEART by Alice Hoffman
tags: witches, death & dying, love & romance

HARBINGER by Sara Wilson Etienne
tags: mystery, nature, supernatural, love & romance

INCARNATE by Jodi Meadows
tags: reincarnation, identity, love & romance

TANGLED by Erica O'Rourke
tags: paranormal, love & romance

THE DEAD OF WINTER by Chris Priestly
tags: horror, ghosts, death & dying, orphans

THE SURVIVORS by Will Weaver
tags: survival, wilderness, action/adventure

VAMPLAYERS by Rusty Fischer
tags: vampires, friendship
_____

Recipe: Blueberry White Chip Muffins
from Very Best Baking *

Ingredients

2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup packed brown sugar
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup milk
1 large egg, lightly beaten
1/4 cup butter or margarine, melted
1 1/2 teaspoons grated lemon peel
2 cups (12-oz. pkg.) NESTLÉ® TOLL HOUSE® Premier White Morsels, divided
1 1/2 cups fresh or frozen blueberries

STREUSEL TOPPING

1/3 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
3 tablespoons butter or margarine

Directions

PREHEAT oven to 375° F. Paper-line 18 muffin cups.

COMBINE flour, granulated sugar, brown sugar, baking powder and salt in large bowl. Stir in milk, egg, butter and lemon peel. Stir in 1 1/2 cups morsels and blueberries. Spoon into prepared muffin cups, filling almost full. Sprinkle with Streusel Topping.

BAKE for 22 to 25 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool in pans for 5 minutes; remove to wire racks to cool slightly.

PLACE remaining morsels in small, heavy-duty plastic bag. Microwave on MEDIUM-HIGH (70%) power for 30 seconds; knead. Microwave at additional 10- to 15-second intervals, kneading until smooth. Cut tiny corner from bag; squeeze to drizzle over muffins. Serve warm.

FOR STREUSEL TOPPING:

COMBINE granulated sugar, flour and cinnamon in small bowl. Cut in butter or margarine with pastry blender or two knives until mixture resembles coarse crumbs.

*I do not claim ownership of this recipe

_____

Happy reading & baking!

~Lydia

Friday Query Critique

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

If you would like to offer your query for public critique, send it to lydiasharp4sff (at) yahoo (dot) com and put "query critique" somewhere in the subject line.

You may email your query at any time and I will send you a confirmation of receipt.

One to three critiques will be posted each Friday, depending on my workload. Queries are posted anonymous. I may choose to keep your critique private through email (if I do, I will tell you why).

Queries can be for novels of any genre, but my specialty areas are science fiction, fantasy, and young adult fiction (contemporary of any type, science fiction, fantasy).

_____

Query

[name of agent redacted]:

I have recently registered for [redacted] Conference in [redacted], March 2012. Through their website, I learned of your attendance to the event. I researched your submission guidelines and found that what I have written fits the criteria of what you are looking for. With that said, I am happy to offer you an exclusive look at my novel, EVELYN CROSS AND THE FALL OF TRINITY, a paranormal fantasy complete at approximately 95,000 words.

Destroy the box, save the world.

When harvester, Evy Cross, steals a box from the dead city of Rome, she unleashes a horde of shape-shifting demons hell-bent on destruction. It has magic so powerful, regular people obtain supernatural powers. A cruel overlord, Mattheis, will stop at nothing to possess the stolen artifact. He executes Evy’s sister in front of her and burns her city to the ground.

Revenge is Evy’s new favorite flavor. To avenge her sister’s death, Evy must team up with the wretched Stephan James and his team of unworldly beings and take the fiancé of the man she loves under her protection. Her quest to kill Mattheis is hampered by danger, betrayal, a thousand-year-old prophecy and an army of the Mattheis’ followers, among which are a plethora of demons.

I would be delighted to send an entire manuscript for your review. Thank you in advance for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you and seeing you at the conference.

Lydia's Comments

[name of agent redacted]:

I have recently registered for [redacted] Conference in [redacted], March 2012. Through their website, I learned of your attendance to the event. I researched your submission guidelines and found that what I have written fits the criteria of what you are looking for. With that said, I am happy to offer you an exclusive look at my novel, EVELYN CROSS AND THE FALL OF TRINITY, a paranormal fantasy complete at approximately 95,000 words.

I like how you opened the letter with specifics to the agent. The only thing that made me pause was the offer of an exclusive look at your novel right off the bat. At this early stage, offering an exclusive is neither expected nor necessary.

Destroy the box, save the world. {Personally, I like pitches that open with a tag line, but some people don't. Just be aware that you're taking a risk by starting this way.}

When harvester {If her harvesting skills aren't necessary to the pitch, don't mention this. If it is necessary to the pitch, clarify how it relates.}, Evy Cross, steals a box from the dead city of Rome, {What do you mean by "dead"? As far as I know, Rome is still a thriving city. Also, using the word "steals" raises the question of "why is she stealing it?"} she unleashes a horde of shape-shifting demons hell-bent on destruction. It has magic so powerful, regular people obtain supernatural powers. {How, just by touching it, or...? Is this why Evy wants it? Or does she discover this fact *after* stealing it? Without a point of reference, I'm lost.} A cruel overlord, Mattheis, will stop at nothing to possess the stolen artifact. {This is an awkward introduction for this character. Was he part of the horde unleashed from the box? Or did he know about it before and she got to it first? Or does he want it only after seeing what it is capable of, after Evy stole it? What does "cruel overlord" mean? It makes me wonder if he's even human.} He executes Evy’s sister in front of her and burns her city to the ground. {What does her sister have to do with this? "Her city" is... what? Rome? And what does killing Evy's sister and burning down an entire city accomplish? How does someone burn down a city without the authorities getting involved? Again, this makes me wonder if Mattheis is human or not, but nothing about him has been clarified.}

My main issue so far is that the introductory paragraph raises far too many questions. My confusion is distracting me from what is likely a really intense story.

Revenge is Evy’s new favorite flavor. {LOVE this sentence.} To avenge her sister’s death, Evy must team up with the wretched Stephan James and his team of unworldly beings {why? Who is this person? What are his stakes in the issue? Why is he helping her? Again, too many questions result from a weak character introduction.} and take the fiancé of the man she loves under her protection. {First, mentioning that there is a person she has to protect during all of this, without connecting that person to any other part of the pitch, feels like an unnecessary side point. It's a frayed edge-- cut it loose. Second, the word "fiancé" denotes male. If that's what you meant, fine. Reading it like that, I assumed the man she loves is gay. But if you meant female, change it to fiancée.} Her quest to kill Mattheis is hampered by danger, betrayal, a thousand-year-old prophecy {This is too vague. You have room to expand and be more specific. Without specifics, I don't really know what's at stake so the tension is lost.} and an army of the Mattheis’ followers, among which are a plethora of demons.

I would be delighted to send an entire manuscript for your review. Thank you in advance for your consideration. I look forward to hearing from you and seeing you at the conference.

Even with all that red lettering above, I am intrigued enough by the concept of the box that I would read the first pages of the story. (except that I, personally, wouldn't actually read it because I don't read books about angels and/or demons. I just meant that you have something there that piques interest on its own.) But I'm coming away from this pitch more confused than anything else. Some of the events don't connect as solidly as I think they could, such as avenging her sister's death. And I still don't know why Evy is involved with this crazy box in the first place. Clarify her goal and motives as early as possible, preferably in the very first sentence.

Thank you so much for offering your query letter for public critique. Best of luck to you!

Does anyone else have any suggestions for our brave writer-friend?

Happy querying,
~Lydia

Book Cover Reveal - TIDAL WHISPERS

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 14:30:00 +0000

Check out this amazing cover for the upcoming Tidal Whispers anthology, which includes a story from one of my personal author-friends, Kelly Said.

Helloooooo, GORGEOUS! I'm officially in love.

If you'd like to add Tidal Whispers to your goodreads shelf, click here.
For more info, including publisher details and story titles & blurbs, check out Kelly's blog, here.

Connecting Your Opposite Turning Points In Story Structure - Part Two

noreply@blogger.com (Lydia Sharp) — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 11:00:00 +0000

Last week we discussed three of the six pairs of opposite turning points in story structure. Turning points can be used as a framework for a rough outline before you write your story, and can be referred to again during revisions to help tighten and solidify your story arc.

Opening                            Closing

Set-up Grand Finale

Catalyst                             Break Into Three

Debate                               Dark Night of the Soul

Break Into Two                 All Is Lost

Fun & Games                    "Bad Guys" Close In

                   Midpoint

Information about the midpoint can be found here, and we covered the first three pairs of turning points in last week's post here. Now, onto the final three.

Debate and Dark Night of the Soul

These two sections are where the factors come into play that affect the decision-making connected to the catalyst and the break into three. I personally refer to the debate as "should I do this or shouldn't I?" and the dark night of the soul as "I should keep going but I don't know how."

In the debate, the protagonist weighs all the options before making a decision that will result in a point of no return, thrusting them into the main premise without the option of backing out. In the dark night of the soul, the protagonist believes that "all is lost" until something or someone shows them differently. Or simply reminds them of what they already knew. Then, again, the options are weighed before making a firm decision to fix everything, but this time the protagonist knows more about the risks, having already experienced many of them firsthand through the course of the story thus far.

The main thing to remember about these two points is that they are both about calculating risks, but the further into the story you are, the more information and experience you have, which is what makes the dark night of the soul so... dark. And that's where the opposites are seen. The protagonist starts out hopeful, then is kicked down and kicked down again and kicked down again until they feel they can't possibly get back up again. So the debate in the first half of the story appears shallow, selfish, in comparison to the debate in the second half.

That isn't to say that the first debate is shallow and selfish. Just by comparison, relatively speaking, because more facts and risks are known in the second half. The later choice is exponentially more difficult, usually involving some kind of self-sacrifice--and it should show.

Break Into Two and All Is Lost

The break into the second act is a huge push from the protagonist onto themselves. The have made a choice to move toward a clear goal, closely connected to the main premise of the story. The possibility of failure is always there, but the protag doesn't feel the full weight of it yet. They are on a "start of the journey" high, not yet beaten down by repeated efforts of the antagonist to ensure they don't succeed.

On the flip side is the "all is lost" moment, which happens near the end of act two. At this point the huge push onto the protagonist is coming from the antagonist, so the effect is negative rather than positive. The protagonist is pushed so hard, in fact, that they truly believe (even if only for a moment) that there is no hope for them. They have failed. They want to give up. They can't see a way out or through or around. They feel lost in every sense.

So in terms of refining/emphasizing the effect of these turning points, viewing them side by side should show the stark contrast between the two. One is entirely positive (forward momentum toward a clear goal, a decision made by the protagonist) and the other is entirely negative (a standstill, no forward movement, or they may feel that they've moved backwards).

Fun & Games and "Bad Guys" Close In

In my previous series on story structure, I referred to the fun & games portion as "the promise of the premise" and the bad guys close in section as "the big squeeze." The reason being, the terms "fun & games" and "bad guys close in", if taken too literally while drafting, can pretty much ruin your plot.

But rather than explain all of that again, if you're not familiar with what these sections entail, or why they are called what they are called, click here and here.

These two sections are so closely related to the previous two (break into two and all is lost) that I could almost copy the same thoughts here that I stated above. One is mostly positive (fun & games) and one is mostly negative (bad guys close in).

The tricky part of these, however, is that it's more of an "I know what I'm doing" section versus a "what the hell am I doing?" section. In the fun & games section, the first half of act two, the protagonist is much more confident than in the bad guys close in section. Why?

The midpoint, mostly. Which is why understanding the midpoint is crucial to understanding story structure. At the midpoint you have either a false peak or a false collapse (again, this is explained here). But no matter what happens at the midpoint, it will always mark a shift in the protagonist's view toward their own situation.

Let me repeat that. It marks a shift in the protagonist's view toward their own situation. So on the one side of act two, the protagonist is feeling relatively confident, and on the other side of act two, the protagonist begins wavering more toward insecure. Indecisive. Tumbling out of control. Until they reach the all is lost moment, the ultimate low.

These sections can also be compared in terms of what the protagonist knows going into act two versus what the protagonist learns at, or just after, the midpoint. The second half of act two is prime real estate for the revealing of dirty secrets, or the uncovering of vital clues. It puts more and more negative pressure on the protagonist. It makes them question everything and everyone. It steals their confidence, changes their viewpoint.

Understanding why and how these sections revolve so closely to the midpoint shift is key to understanding their similarities and differences, and can help you write and revise them more effectively.

I hope this two-part series on opposite structural turning points has been helpful. If you have any questions, please leave them in the comments section below.

Happy writing!
~Lydia