The Simple Wife

I love new beginnings, even if it means something has to end

2009-12-31T07:19:00-07:00

That just struck me as I sat down to blog this morning. That for something new to begin, something old has to end. There may be some exceptions, but it seems like that's generally true.

I'm not really thinking about anything ending this morning--other than 2009, but I have been sitting here in the dark thinking about new beginnings.

I do love beginnings.

A new day.
A new week.
A new school year.
The first day of summer vacation.
And New Year's Day.

A fresh start is just, well, so fresh and new a clean. Makes me think of Anne (Shirley, that is) walking down the road with Miss Stacey. Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it. Yet!

It's been good to have a bloggy break these past couple of weeks, and there are so many things to tell you about--new Christmas memories, what we're up to with homeschooling, seeing friends in Colorado, some changes around our house here in Arizona, more changes in our family routine. But those are for the coming days.

For now, I will tell you that I'm reading an amazing book, Sitting at the Feet of Rabbi Jesus. And this morning I read this Jewish blessing. And so this is my prayer for our family and yours:

Bless for us, O LORD our God, this year and all of its yield for good, and shower down a blessing upon the face of the earth. Fill us with your bounty and bless our year, that it be as the good years. Blessed are you, O LORD, who blesses the years.

Coincidence that it's New Year's Eve? Don't think so. That's Providence, for sure!

Wishing you a merry Christmas

2009-12-21T07:38:54-07:00

Merry Christmas to each and every one of you!

We are settled in at my parents' house in Denver, decorating the tree, baking cookies, watching movies, and enjoying being together. I'm anxious for the snow that's due to arrive sometime this week and longing to sit by the light of the tree to listen to The Night of the Child on Christmas Eve.

I probably won't be blogging much until after we arrive back home in Arizona. (I'd like to catch up on Spiritual Mothering and get the next chapters ready to post, but we'll just have to wait and see how the week goes.)

If you want the up to date scoop and pictures on what we're up to while we're here in Denver, you can follow me on Twitter. I think roller skating is on the agenda for later today!

All is calm, all is bright

2009-12-16T07:28:02-07:00

Good morning, sweet friends. I have missed you! Thank you for your comments and prayers this past weekend. They were not in vain. Not by a long shot.

We are home and we are well.

Do you remember that verse in the Christmas story that says "Mary treasured all these things in her heart"? So much had happened, yet she held it close. That describes pretty well how I'm feeling since we returned from the mountains.

I'm sure there were some pressing Mary for details, encouraging her to talk and share and talk some more. Yet in the midst of the hustle and bustle around her, Mary pondered. Mary treasured. I imagine Mary sat still.

It's no coincidence that so much of the Spiritual Mothering discussion and chapters and examples have focused on Mary. I am learning from her example, from her story.

And so I'm guessing that things are going to be quiet around here for the next little while. I'm going to save my talking, my sharing, my inmost thoughts for Toben.

Thanks for understanding. 'Cause I know you will--y'all are just like that.

Spiritual Mothering: Chapter 11

2009-12-13T07:00:00-07:00

"Our pain has purpose."

Part of the hope of the gospel that we hold out to the world is that our pain has purpose. We don't go through hurt and trials and sorrow for nothing. God, in his infinite goodness, doesn't just erase our heartaches so they never happened, but turns them into something used for our good and for his glory.

Our deepest pain becomes something beautiful. That's redemption.

1. "Women have told me that they seek out support groups away from their churches because they can't bear to risk exposing their pain inside their churches" (page 159).

If anything, the church should be a place where we feel safe to share our hurts, knowing that we will find comfort and encouragement among God's people. Each one of us can help make our churches a safe place as we are courageous to go first.

In a small group, the first person to answer a question often sets the tone for the conversation that follows. If we respond glibly, at a surface level, others will most likely follow the example we've set.

It can be scary to go first. To answer honestly when someone asks, "How are you?" To not say we're fine when the truth is that we're anything but fine.

We need wisdom to do this well. Because it's not always the time or place to dive deep. But in those situations where it is the time and place, how can you commit to being honest and real in your relationships with other women at church? How can you foster vulnerability and safety to hurting women around you?

2. The women at the cross give us a good example of the power of presence. They didn't have the right words, didn't have a handy solution. "But they were there...[they] stayed to the end" (page 162).

Do you have an example in your own life about the power of presence?

3. Hunt offers practical steps to developing comforting skills beginning on page 163. Study. Speak. Stick.

How can you begin to develop these skills even this next week? Is there someone in your life who needs comfort? How can these steps help guide you in comforting her?

4. Anything else to add?

A little break

2009-12-10T07:01:46-07:00

Today is full. Laundry and housecleaning and a few errands and a haircut. School and packing.

Not to mention getting dressed up and going to see Little House on the Prairie tonight. Melissa Gilbert is playing Ma. And did I mention it's a musical? I love musicals! And LHOP! And the theater!

Toben and I are headed up to the mountains tomorrow morning until Monday night for our weekend of counseling.

I'm not sure what to expect and am swinging between dread and longing. I trust it will be good. I'm certain it'll be hard. And I really, really don't want to spend the weekend crying, but have a feeling I just might. I've felt a little (okay, a lot) raw this week and have yet to really get it all out.

Your prayers wouldn't be wasted.

My laptop is staying behind, though I've set the Spiritual Mothering post to publish automatically. I'll be back Tuesday...

Be still

2009-12-10T06:51:09-07:00

All day yesterday, I kept hearing that little voice telling me to be still.

"Be still."

I'm not very good at being still. For moments, yes. Early in the morning, yes. But in the midst of a day with lots to be done, in the midst of emotions swirling around and dragging me along? Not so much.

I love the idea that God will fight for me. But I find myself setting limits and windows of opportunities for him to act, and then wanting to charge ahead on my own again when the time's up.

"Be still."

Someone said to me the other day that a powerful racehorse is most powerful when it's bridled.

It's been a while since my horse-y phase. That was junior high school and English riding lessons, days spent at the barn in the Yorkshire Dales, grooming horses and shoveling muck and polishing saddles. Then a lull and another couple of years of horsiness before Audrey was born with more riding lessons, cute jodhpurs, a cantankerous horse, and an obsession with really lovely riding boots.

Anyway, the image stuck with me.

That's what being still felt like yesterday. Wanting to run. And being held back. Wanting to race ahead of myself. And being checked. A mind filled with thoughts in a whirl, spinning with every "what if" and "then what." And hearing a voice say, "Be still."

I want to learn to listen to that voice. To take heed. To rest in it. To wait for the command to run before I go racing off--heedlessly and in the wrong direction.

"Exactly."

2009-12-09T07:24:32-07:00

I talked to a friend yesterday who's feeling like so many of us. (Thanks for all your comments on Monday's post. Amazing how many of us are feeling the same sorts of things, isn't it? Is it this time of the year, do you think? Have we all had PMS this week? Is it in the water?)

Anyway. The circumstances are somewhat different, but she and I are feeling so many of the same things. We've had our feelings hurt, we're feeling unappreciated and taken for granted. Feeling like we gave something only to have it tossed aside. Left wondering what it means. What to do. Wanting to lash out, lash back. Holding out, holding back. Waiting. Asking. Praying. Questioning.

And in the midst of our conversation, she said, "Exactly."

What a gift to have someone understand and know. To get it. To accept it.

Exactly.

And in offering hope and encouragement to each other, we both said some things to the other that were exactly what we needed to hear ourselves. The kind of things that you say and then think "I didn't want to hear that!" because it hit a little close to home.

And then something freaky happened.

A verse popped into my head from nowhere (well, not from nowhere, from God really, but totally out of the blue). So I said, "This verse just popped into my head." And she said, "I don't mean to freak you out, but EXACT THE SAME VERSE popped into my head right before you said that." And then we both got goosebumps.

Stand firm and you will see
the deliverance the LORD will bring you today...
The LORD will fight for you,
you need only to be still.
Exodus 14:13-14

Exactly.

Comments and codes

2009-12-07T22:59:10-07:00

So I changed the thing where you have to type in a code in order to leave a comment. It's annoying and I figured I'd take it off to save everyone the hassle.

But in the days since I've done that, I've received LOTS of spam comments. Some caught by Typepad, others I've received.

And so the comment moderation code thing-y is back on. Sorry! I hate it as much as the next person, but I'm getting tired of deleting spam comments.

Do you get spam on your blog (if you have one)? Do you use the comment moderation thing? Do you dislike typing the code like I do?

Inquiring minds want to know...

Monday.

2009-12-07T07:08:34-07:00

Oh my.

We've had the last two weeks off from school--Thanksgiving and then Emma in NYC (remind me to post some of her pictures--she's her Aunt Kristen's niece and took a ton). So this morning, we're getting back in the swing of it.

Along with laundry. And menu planning. And grocery shopping. And how all that's going to get done well and with a happy attitude, I just don't know.

One day at a time. One thing at a time. Help, Lord, help!

I'm struggling.

With all that feels like it needs to be done. With feeling behind in our schooling. With my attitude. With feeling unprepared for Christmas. With feeling like a friend has tossed me aside. With missing my home. With uncertainty. With PMS. With missing seminary. With not being crafty. With feeling lonely. With feeling whatever it is I'm feeling about the weekend of counseling with Toben starting on Friday.

With wanting to wallow in it.

And with wanting to tell myself to buck up and get over it and just be happy already. Cheesh!

The head and heart thing gets me every time. What I KNOW versus what I FEEL. Anyone else?

And the thing is, I feel like I know all the right things to tell myself. I know what I'd say to someone else struggling with this. I know what I have said to others struggling with this. And I've said those things to myself over and over again.

And yet it's just plain HARD.

But I wallowed yesterday and it didn't really get me anywhere. Nothing changed and, in all honesty, it wasn't as fun as I thought it would be. In fact, it was pretty miserable. Not to mention that it had an effect on my whole family.

So what comes suddenly to mind is this (which makes me think it's a totally God thing):

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him." I can choose to trust God anyway and praise him anyway and let him worry about changing my heart.

Yet. A little word. (And one that sounds funny if you say it too many times in a row.) But one that sums it up well. It wouldn't be the same if it just said "for I will praise him." That makes it sound easy and nonchalant. A given, a natural.

That "yet" is encouraging to me because it acknowledges the struggle in it, the tension, the overcoming and determination required.

At some point, it comes down to rugged obedience. Doing what I know is right whether I feel like it or not. One step at a time. And letting God work out the rest.

Off to go tie up my running shoes, turn the music up loud, and praise anyway. One step at a time.

This week the girls and I are going to start working on Psalm 19 again. Reviewing the first eight verses (since we haven't done that for the past two weeks!) and adding three or four more.

What about you?

Spiritual Mothering: Chapter 10

2009-12-06T07:15:10-07:00

"A woman who has not dealt with the hurts in her life and forgiven those who have offended her will have roots of bitterness and anger that will render her ineffective in entering into a nurturing relationship with a younger woman to encourage and equip her to live for God's glory."

Anyone else challenged by this chapter? There were many things I underlined, lots of helpful information, and gobs of truth in this chapter. Some of which made me nod my head in agreement, some of which made me wince a little as it struck home.

One thought that came to mind was this: We forgive others, knowing we have also been forgiven. And part of being aware of our own need for forgiveness involves the practice of confession and asking for forgiveness.

It's not comfortable, but as Jesus said of the woman who washed his feet with her tears and dried them with her hair, "She who has been forgiven much loves much."

It can be a hard prayer to pray, but asking God to make us more aware of our sin prompts us to confess and seek forgiveness. And the result is loving God more. Which frees us to love others more.

1. What stood out to you in the story of Abigail? Why?

2. Abigail "had to live a life of daily forgiveness to maintain her sanity and her faith" (page 147). How is this true in your own life?

3. In your own words, describe why forgiveness is essential in spiritual mothering.

4. Anything else you want to add?