While Tenet #1: “I WILL NOT CHEAT,” and Tenet #2: “I WILL NOT KNOWINGLY BE THE OTHER WOMAN” are no-brainers for most of us, for some it’s not as black and white.  And that’s where you come in.

What if one of Tiger’s mistresses had had the kind of friend we’re asking you to be?  Instead of saying “OMG, you’re sleeping with the greatest athlete in the world!” what if someone had said, “What are you thinking!?!  Do you have any idea what could happen?”  Or maybe if one of Tiger’s friends had stood up and refused to be complicit by setting up dates and keeping his secrets – there would have been less carnage.

Maybe Tiger’s mistresses will never sign The Oath – maybe they will – we don’t really know what this notoriety has done to their personal compasses, but it could be just the act of redemption they need.  Perhaps some of them have made a shift and realized their role in all of this – we can only hope.

But let’s forget about them for a moment and talk about us.  Instead of looking for blame or casting judgment, what if we were to take a keen look at ourselves and our role in all of this. What is it we’ve done as women and as a society to propagate this?  You know what we’ve done?  We’ve kept quiet.

So, we’re asking you to take your finely-tuned moral compass out into the world, and instead of being complicit by your silence, we’re urging you to take a stand.  We’re asking you to be the voice of reason for someone who can’t hear themselves.  Since when is it a crime to say, “Hey, Girlfriend, you’re not a home wrecker!  Let me remind you of who you are and what you’re doing since you’ve temporarily lost your mind.”

Speaking up isn’t being “righteous” – there are ways to do it that are gentle and affirming – but ladies – how often have you actually done that?  I can tell you from personal experience that in the three years that I was having an affair with a married man, only one of my friends called me out on it.  And it was a man!

And here’s the thing: I didn’t think of myself as a home wrecker at the time.  He was the home wrecker after all; he was the one who was breaking vows.  I was single and available and while I felt horribly guilty, I didn’t perceive that I was just as culpable as he was.  I was just like Tiger’s mistresses.  I simply didn’t get it.

Looking back on it now (and let me just say that this was many, many years ago),  I wish that the women in my life had confronted me.  Where were my friends when I really needed them?  You know where they were?  They were sitting across a table from me listening to the sordid updates of my affair with a rich and powerful man – which was far easier than telling me to my face how low I had sunk and how they hoped I would come to my senses before any more pain was inflicted.  Because that’s a hard thing to say to someone you care about.  But we need to get better at it.

So let’s focus on ourselves and our friends and what we can all do to up our own games.  Let’s be better friends to each other, let’s hold each other accountable, and let’s not be afraid for the conversation to accidentally get too “righteous.”

Q:     Would you confront a friend who is cheating?  If not, why not?

Even though you’re the type who would never-ever consider cheating on your partner or becoming the dreaded “other woman,” chances are you know someone whose life has been turned upside down by infidelity. A friend, a family member, a co-worker, your barista? Perhaps you know something about someone’s partner that you’ve been withholding because you don’t want to “get involved.” Maybe you indulge a friend who talks incessantly about the man she’s going to marry…as soon as he leaves his wife.

Or perhaps none of this applies to you in any way, and if that’s the case, can we have your life, please? Sadly, there are some of us out here whose relationships may not be as solid as yours, and we need to know that you’ve got our back. We need to know that no matter how painful, we can always count on you to tell us the truth. We need you to make a promise to us now that you will get involved, because we’re all involved. We have to be. This chain we’re building is only as strong as its weakest link and so, Sisterfriend, we’re counting on you big time. Thanks for listening.

Now tell us why you did or did not sign The Oath…