The Skinny Girl Inside

So I tried out the new Green Giant Riced Veggies...

2017-01-06T16:28:00.000-06:00

When I saw the commercial for this product, I just want you to know I was really excited. I've been wanting to try riced cauliflower for some time but I didn't want to go through the headache of doing it myself. Too much work and not enough time. This product is part of a new line of Green Giant veggie options found in the freezer section.

I like the fact it was in a microwave steamable bag. If you wanted to prep the whole bag to use a part of a dish, it's an easy addition to a meal. I decided to try it with my stirfry I previously made and had stored in the freezer. The stirfry was chicken, mushroom, and broccoli.

I took a portion of the cauliflower out and steamed in a separate steamer bag. Before steaming, I added salt, pepper, garlic powder, and sesame oil. I microwaved it for a minute and a half. I didn't want to overcook it because I was adding it to a hot dish that would be reheated on my lunch break.

My verdict - this was really great! The cauliflower had a nice texture of rice with this dish. Because the cauliflower didn't have much of its own flavor, it absorbed the flavor of this dish nicely. I felt like I was eating rice with this dish. This product will remain in my freezer. The next trial will be with red beans.

*Green Giant did not provide me with this product nor did they purchase it. They also did not provide any product for this review. I saw the commercial and wanted to try it for myself. So I did!

Plans for the New Year and The 21 Day Challenge

2016-12-30T10:56:00.000-06:00

In an effort to get myself and this blog back on track, I decided to consider what my plans for the new year will be. I know this is the time of year for the "New Year, New Me" type of goals but to be honest, 2016 was pretty spectacular for me. I finally finished my degree and I'm officially Dr. Johnson and so far, I've enjoyed the majority of this year. True, there were some rough spots but no more than most times.

My biggest issue is getting back on track. I have maintained my weight loss so far but I still have 100 pounds that I need to lose. I have totally fallen off the wagon and a lot of bad habits have been creeping back. I was always told that the surgery was a tool but it still requires work from you. All the quick fixes don't matter if you can't sustain it. Then, the most awesome thing landed in my email last night.

The 21 Day Change Your Mindset Challenge

Sponsored by Black Women Losing Weight, this challenge encourages you to ask yourself deep questions beyond just food and exercise. It encourages you to focus on the motivations behind why you eat and becoming aware of what triggers you and how you can make the lifelong changes necessary. It's not a quick fix or a fad diet.

I know I have a lot of bad habits and science has shown that it takes 21 days for a new activity to become a habit. If you are interested, check out the challenge and while it's sponsored by a black women's group, it's open to all. If you're interested in support, I have a facebook group up. It's private and right now has women who are doing the same thing, supporting each other without judgment. Just hit me up and let me know. The challenge starts on January 7th. I'll be posting here with the different activities

and sharing my thoughts. I really hope you'll join me!

Hello Fresh review! @hellofreshus

2016-11-01T18:44:00.000-05:00

Hi there! I know it has been a ridiculously long time but I'm back!! Life has a way of sweeping the rug from under you but I'm back with a more level head and interesting outlook. Am I still on my weight loss journey? Yes. I've maintained the 200 pounds I've lost but I still need to lose another hundred. It's been rough going but I can do it!

My friend sent me a coupon to try three "Hello Fresh" Meals for free. I had been looking into the meal delivery services because I hate going to the store but I need to cook more at home to control what I'm eating. Before I start, let me make a few disclaimers:

The meals I tried were given to me but not by the "Hello Fresh" company. A friend of mine had tried them out and she was given a code that she shared with me.
All the meal kits I ordered were for two people. There are family sized meals but I didn't need that size.
I did not add any personal seasonings other than salt and pepper that was directed by the recipe.

With that being said, let's get started. The ordering was easy. You can choose no seafood or vegetarian as an option. They also allow you to swap out a recipe from the options offered for the week. I hate that there weren't any low carb options but that was a personal issue with me.

Meal One

This was the Smoky Beef and Poblano Chili. This kit contained:

Scallions
Poblano pepper
Kidney beans
Ground beef
Chili powder
Garlic
Beef stock concentrate
Cheddar cheese
Crushed Tomatoes
Cumin
Sour Cream

What I did like about it. The beef was all natural and nonGMO and the beans and tomatoes were also organic/Non-GMO. The only veggie prep was cutting up the pepper and scallions. This one only took about 15 minutes to put together. I browned the ground beef while chopping the veggies and everything (except the cheese and sour cream) then just went into one pot and simmered. The finished product was really good. It was a hardy chili and a filling meal. It would be great on a cold day. Even though this was for two, this easily could have fed four very well. The only thing I would add would be a little spice, maybe some cayenne or red pepper flake for a little bite.

Meal Two

This was Jamie's Chicken Skewers with Bulgur Wheat Salad and Lemony Yogurt. This kit contained:

Green beans
Bulgur wheat
Parsley
Chicken breast
Raw cashews
Lemons
Tomatoes
Red onion
Oregano
Yogurt

This recipe was more out of my comfort zone. This was the featured "Chef Inspired" meal by Jamie Oliver. Out of the three, this was my least favorite. One reason was the expectation that you would own certain tools like a zest grater. I don't cook, why would I own a grater? The prep was longer because I was trying to make peel as small as possible. Another reason was the uselessness of the cashews. Other than toasting them, they were just to go on the side with the yogurt.

The bulgur wheat salad was interesting and I liked it more than I thought but without adding your own spices, I felt that it needed something else. The yogurt was just lemon juice and yogurt. Nothing really inspiring about that. The chicken was probably the saving grace. It was really good I enjoyed it on the skewers. With the yogurt, with was okay but with a more flavorful dipping sauce, it would probably be better. Overall, the "Chef Inspired" was the least inspiring.

Meal Three

This was Roasted Pork Tenderloin with Potato Cauliflower Mash and Carmelized Pan Sauce. This kit contained:

Yukon Potatoes
Cauliflower florets
Pork Tenderloin
Granny smith apple
Sugar snap peas
Thyme
Chicken stock concentrate

This recipe was really easy to put together. The Yukon potatoes are so thin-skinned that they didn't need peeling so they were tossed in a pot with salted water and cauliflower. The pork tenderloin was seasoned with the thyme, salt, and pepper, seared and placed in the oven with the snap peas that had been tossed in oil, salt, and pepper. I only need a fork to mash the potatoes and cauliflower with a little butter, salt, and pepper. The sliced apple cooked in the same pan I used to brown the pork in with butter, water, and chicken stock concentrate. Everything was done pretty much the same time. This was a really good meal.

Final Thoughts.

Overall, this was a good experience. Even though the meals were for two, there was enough food to feel satisfied and not like you had to struggle to share a meal. I wish there was more meal choice but you have to choose from the meals for that week. You can decide how often you want deliveries so if you don't cook all the time, you can skip a week or two or just arrange your delivery schedule to suit your needs. More low carb options would be a plus. What I did like as well was the fact they give you recipe cards so you can recreate your favorite recipes at your leisure.

Garden Bounty - Pickled Cucumbers and Onions.

2013-07-18T22:48:00.000-05:00

So I've been growing my own veggies and my cucumbers have just popped out. While I was trying to figure out what to do with them, I remembered a treat that my grandmother used to make for us. Most people call them refrigerator pickles but we always called them pickled cucumbers. She would keep them in a bowl in the fridge and we could eat them up after school. I didn't get a chance to get her recipe but I think I came up with a pretty good version.

Ingredients:

4 Cucumbers

2 Small White Onions (you can use sweet onions or red onions, if you'd like)

2 Teaspoons Salt

Two Cups Vinegar (I used 1 cup white vinegar and 1 cup UNSEASONED natural rice vinegar. You can mix it up or use one type only. Apple cider vinegar can also be used and it makes a sweeter pickle.)

2 Tablespoons No Salt Seasoning. (The kind I use contains pepper, spices, orange peel)

1/3 Cup sugar (If you like sweeter, add more sugar)

Ice

Process:

Slice the cucumbers and the onions thinly. If you have a mandolin, use it but if not, just use a knife. Sprinkle with the salt and toss lightly.

In a pot, combine the vinegar, sugar and seasoning and bring to a boil. Remove from the fire and add 4 cups of ice and stir until the ice is melted.

Pack the cucumbers and onions in jars. I layered them and packed the jars tightly. If you don't have jars, don't sweat it, I've also used plastic storage bowls with tight fitting lids.

Pour the cooled vinegar mix over the veggies. Let it sit for a minute and using a spoon or a skewer, push down on the veggies to push out any air bubbles. Top with a little more of the liquid to fill in the air spaces. Cap it and store it in the fridge. Wait a few hours before you give them a try. It can last up to two months stored in the fridge, if they survive the hungry hordes that long! :)

These can be eaten as is or added to salads or whatever you want. My mom add the onions to her fresh cooked collard greens. I've eaten them with fish. It's a versatile dish. Try it out and let me know what you think!

SMOOCHES!!

Good things.

2013-07-08T09:18:00.001-05:00

This is my inspiration for today. I can't wait to make a pitcher of iced tea with this!

Product Shout Out - Wellesse Premium Liquid Vitamins

2013-06-04T20:45:00.000-05:00

My sample pack came with Iron, Calcium w/ Vitamin D, Multivitamin and Vitamin B12 Sublingual. All taste really great!

Imagine my pleased surprise at opening my mailbox and discovering, amongst the bills, not one but TWO samples of Wellesse Premium Liquid Vitamins! I was so glad to see them, and I know it was nothing more than a blessing. Funds are tight, and my vitamins have been on life support. These samples will help me get over the hump, and I am so appreciative to the company!

Wellesse is a great support of the Bariatric community, and with us having issue with absorption, it is vitally important to get our vitamins in daily. Wellesse products taste great, and I'll recommend them to anyone! Click the link above to visit them and you can let them know I sent you!

Breaking Bonds With Past Food Relationships

2013-03-03T19:22:00.000-06:00

The inspiration for this post came from watching a program about childhood obesity on television. Several of the children they showed came from homes with obese parents. It’s easy to see how the kids were so overweight. One mother sold soul food plates out of her home. It was the same food she fed her family. At one time, big meals of fried chicken, dressing, greens, mac and cheese and sweet potatoes were reserved for special holidays or at least only on Sundays. Some people eat like this every day now. Along with the soul food, our communities now have the whammy of fast food. So many children grow up now wanting fast food, as their main meals and I believe those meals contributes to the increase in childhood obesity as well. Want proof? Just read the following articles:

Fast food linked to childhood obesity: http://www.cbsnews.com/2100-204_162-591325.html

The Relationship Between Fast Food and Obesity in Diabetes

The relationship between obesity and the prevalence of fast food restaurants: state-level analysis. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15559714

The main core of the issue comes from family ties and traditions. The families were cooking foods that had been cooked for them. They shared the recipes that had been learned from mothers and grandmothers. As a Southern woman, I totally understand this. Comfort food is the food that you know. It’s the food that we grew up eating and today it reminds of home, family dinners or other special occasions. It’s the food that reminds us were are loved, cared for and cherished

Breaking the bonds of our past food relationships is hard. Once you finally decide to make lifestyle changes, you then have to deal with friends and family who are resistant to your changes. Some might feel like you are rejecting them and their values. Some don’t know how to show love accept with food and when you turn down food, in theory, you are also rejecting their love.

Breaking the bonds without destroying your relationships is important. This is where communication comes in. I’ve learned that taking the time to actually talk to your loved ones goes a long way to making them understand what is really going on with you and your new life. Denying food is not a rejecting of their love. Instead, it’s developing a love of yourself and your health. Those who truly love you understand. It’s not easy for them to change their own habits but we have to realized we are only responsible for ourselves and our actions. We can’t’ control anyone else’s.

I'm cooking and it's all experimental!

2013-01-21T15:14:00.000-06:00

Sundays at home usually find me looking for something to get into. This usually means finding a way to indulge without over doing it. I had apples left over from Christmas and I hated for them to go bad before I could eat them, so I decided to try crockpot apple sauce. Here are the ingredients:

5 large apples (I left the peels on but you can peel if you like)
1 cup of water
2 cinnamon sticks plus 1/4 teaspoon of ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon of vanilla
1/4 teaspoon of nutmeg
1/4 teaspoon of ginger
A drizzle of honey (Optional. You can also use sugar or sugar substitute or nothing at all!)

(Keep in mind, these ingredients are my taste. If you don't like one or like more, feel free to play with your food!!)

Instructions:

Cut and core the apples. Peel if you wish. I like the skin so I left it on.

Add everything to the crockpot and set on low for 6 hours. Don't worry if the amount of water seems small, the apples will release plenty of juice as they cook!

After 6 hours, you can leave it like this:

Or you can put it in a food processor or blender in small batches and puree it to the texture you like. Personally, I like it like this because it reminds me of apple pie filling. :)

This can be eaten hot or cold, alone or with anything you choose to put it on. I added a little dollop of vanilla yogurt, just to contrast the warmness of it. It can even be served as a side to a nice pork chop! It's not too sweet and it doesn't compete with the sweetness of the apples. This is my little sweet treat. It reminds me of apple pie without all of the overloaded sugar, crust or calories.

I hope you'll try it and let me know what you think.

Happy New Year!!

2013-01-01T00:00:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year to everyone!! No resolutions for me, I just plan on being the best me I can be and focus on my health, my family, my friends and my faith!! Be blessed and have a wonderful New Year!!

SMOOCHES!!

Thankful and Blessed. #NHBPM

2012-11-24T10:32:00.002-06:00

I am so woefully behind so I'm just picking and choosing in the spirit of NHBPM. Real life has a way of changing the best laid plans but this time I can say this life event made me realize how blessed and highly favored my family is.

My niece was hit by a school bus on Friday, November 16. She lost her left foot as a result but we didn't lose HER. She is only four but she has become the center of so many people's lives. Her resilience and the bouncing back she has done shows us that no situation should define us and we have to face life head on. She is smiling and laughing and playing and it really makes you wonder if the trivial things we worry about are really important. Sometimes it takes a tragedy to make you understand your priorities.

Seven Thanksgiving Diet Disasters to Avoid - ABC News

2012-11-19T11:37:00.001-06:00

It's almost Thanksgiving, foodie holiday of the U.S. For those of us who had WLS, it's a virtual landmine of foods that have been deemed off limits. For some, it's a matter of their bodies can't handle it any more but for some like me, it's a choice. I'll be sticking to turkey and veggies...OK, maybe a spoon of of my mom's dressing! Enjoy the article and Happy Thanksgiving!

Seven Thanksgiving Diet Disasters to Avoid - ABC News

Hiding the people I love. #NHBPM

2012-11-12T12:51:00.002-06:00

I have a tendency to not mention people by name in my blog. As I said in an earlier post, this is a forum for all of my issues and I know everyone does not want to be thrust into the web spotlight. Sometimes I'll mention someone (first name only) when something great has happened but as a rule, I don't expose anyone who doesn't not want to be put out there. It's just a respectful thing to do.

Designer Doctor's Office. #NHBPM

2012-11-12T12:31:00.004-06:00

I must saw, first of all, this is not my doctor's off. Personally, I love my doctor's office. Since I think it's designed wonderfully, I just describe it.

It has comfortable and size appropriate chairs. As a plus sized person, this is a must!
Warm colors. The offices are done in shades of yellow, greens and browns. It's so comforting and relaxing.
Awesome staff. They remember your name and always seem glad to see you.

I don't know what else I would want. Everyone has their things that are a yes or no for their own doctor so the important key is finding the office and doctor that best fits you. Never be afraid to change doctors if the one you are seeing doesn't have your best interests in mind. Go with your gut!

SMOOCHES!

Doing the right thing, even when you feel like going THERE! #NHBPM

2012-11-12T12:03:00.000-06:00

There are times when you have to imagine yourself in a better place to be a better person. It's not easy to ignore the ignorance of others but it still hurts. I won't go into details but there was an issue with a co-worker and ugly lies being said. It hurt to have these words to come back to me, especially because, up until this point, I thought this was a fairly trustworthy person. We weren't friends but I thought we were in a better place. Apparently, I was mistaken.

It took me a few weeks to get my feet back under me and a lot of prayer. There were so many things I wanted to say but remembering this was my place of work, I refrained and now I'm glad I did. So many of my co-workers came to my defense and that heartened me to know others cared so much. I think the best thing I was told was by a co-worker in a unexpected conversation. She told me she was proud of the way I carried myself and that I didn't stoop to the other lady's level. As a result, it made me look good in the eyes of my coworkers and my bosses while my coworker looked petty. She and I still work together but it's definitely a professional relationship with as little contact as possible. It's safe to say, I don't trust her and in spite of her overtures, I know I never will.

Activist? Who Me? #NHBPM

2012-11-12T11:17:00.002-06:00

Today's post is about being a health advocate. Believe me, if you go back and read my very first post, this blog started as a way to work through my feelings about my decision to have WLS surgery and what happened along the way. Some how the mission changed. I believe in being honest about what is really going on. WLS is not a walk in the park, contary to popular belief. It is a totally committed lifestyle change. It's not for everyone but it was the choice for me!

I'm also seeing the importance of advocating health and clean food choices, positive body image and being a positive and inspirational person. I have made an incredible journey and by sharing this journey, I have became a spokesperson of sorts for making health care choices that best suit you. I know there are some who would not chose to have surgery and that's ok. It was the best decision for me and I don't regret it.

SMOOCHES

Sharing is caring, right? #NHBPM

2012-11-12T10:43:00.000-06:00

Today's post is about disclosure or what have I chosen to share on this blog. It stands to reason that when I chose to write a blog and make it public, I was opening myself up in ways I hadn't previously thought about. With that in mind, I had to make a series of personal decisions on what I would and would not share. So here is my list.

My starting weight. I'm just not ready.
Too much of my personal family. This is my blog and they didn't ask to be revealed to the world.
My job. I teach and that's all you need to know.

I think this is my list in a nutshell. I'm sure there is more but I can't think of it right now or it hasn't really come up as an issue yet. This means, this list will be amended at will and whim! LOL

SMOOCHES

The Hardest Conversation Ever. #NHBPM

2012-11-12T10:04:00.001-06:00

First of all, I am woefully behind, but in my defense, I have been sick and with the holidays coming up, school has also been super busy. The prompt today is about a conversation with your doctor. Several come to mind but the biggest one is the "Lose weight or die" conversation. Hearing your options laid out in black and white makes the whole thing crystal clear. I know she wasn't doing it to scare me (maybe she was) but I needed to hear it like that. I was in total denial about how much I weighed and how much of an effect it was having on my physical and mental life. That no nonsense conversation saved my life because, even through the tears, I knew she was absolutely right. Now down 185 pounds, I see what I was missing and even though I haven't hit goal yet, my life is better because I feel better.

SMOOCHES

Worthy Words #NHBPM

2012-11-02T21:16:00.002-05:00

Today's challenge was to pick and inspirational quote. This is my current favorite. It's even the screen saver on my IPhone! It reminds me the power of being well dressed, no matter how I am feeling and putting effort in to looking good makes me feel good. (especially when I get complements!)

As a teacher, I know that education is always important and you never should stop learning. Read a book, talk to someone new. You never know what you'll learn if you get off the phone or Internet and just notice what's going on around you. There is no such thing as too much education. Oscar knew what he was talking about!

Why I write about my health #NHBPM

2012-11-02T20:53:00.001-05:00

I was invited to join the National Health Blog Post Month (NHBPM) and the challenge is to write 30 posts in 30 days. I'm behind because I just joined today so I'm playing catch up. My question today was the title of this post: Why I write about my health.

I started this blog to keep track of how I was feeling about the whole process of WLS and to just wrap my brain around the whole idea of what I was doing and my reasons why. I also have some fabulous online friends who want to keep track of how I was doing and what was going on through this whole process.

To say this has be life altering would be a total understatement. Having the surgery and losing the weight has given me a new lease on life, literally. I never knew how much I hid myself away until I could no longer hide behind the fat. There are times when this is terrifying because as I shrink, I;m faced with new situations but at the same time, I'm growing into a better version of me.

I felt the need to share my story with everyone because I wanted them to understand this wasn't an easy decision and it is a life long commitment. Contrary to popular belief, WLS is not the "easy" way out. It's a lifestyle change that you can't walk away from. I will be altered FOREVER! Instead, I'm learning how to live with a new me and sharing that journey with the world and that, my dear readers, is why I write about my health!

SMOOCHES!

Swag Win and Big Train Product Review

2012-10-21T13:44:00.000-05:00

First of all, a big thanks to Faith Walker a.k.a. Atlanta WLS Diva for sponsoring the contest! I was thrilled to win, especially because:

I NEVER win anything
I've wanted to try this product but it's pricey and I was afraid I wasn't going to like it!

The prize was a sample pack of Big Train's Fit Frappe protein products (espresso, mocha, chocolate, vanilla, and vanilla latte), a shaker bottle for on the go and a HUGE bottle of Torani sugar-free caramel syrup. It was an awesome prize and it was swag-tacular!!

PRODUCT REVIEW

One thing I first noted about the product was the fact that it could be served hot, blended or cold! Most protein drinks are cold or blended only so this made it a big plus in my book, esprcially with winter comeing this way. The idea of having a hot protein drink seems delightful!

My first try was the mocha. It was fixed on the way out of the door to church. I used half a packet with hot water from my Keurig and drank it on the way to church. It was the most awesome thing ever!! It was the mocha flavored with a wonderful coffee background and no yucky protein aftertaste. I totally enjoyed it!

My second try was the vanilla latte. I also tried it hot, prepared the same way I prepared the mocha. Again, it was wonderful and coffeehouse good. The vanilla and coffee flavors balanced perfectly and again, no yucky protein aftertaste.

The espresso was next flavor. It was great and because I am not a black coffee fan, I added sugar free vanilla creamer to one cup and the next cup, sugar free hazelnut creamer. Both were great and this is one flavor I will keep on had at school. All I need is hot water and I'm ready to roll.

I haven't tried the choclate and vanilla yet. I'm trying to decide how creative I'm going to be with them. I highly recommend the Big Train products for all of your protein needs and just beccause3 they taste soooo good! Thanks again, Faith, for introducing me to this wonderful product!!

Fish For When Fried Is No Longer An Option.

2012-07-08T15:21:00.001-05:00

I'm a Southern girl and in the South, when you are offered fish, that means fried fish. Don't get me wrong, I love fried catfish and I have indulged on a piece since the surgery but in my quest to eat healthier, I had to learn how to change my mindset. After living my whole life on fried fish and hearing how awful baked fish was, it wasn't easy! I had to make this work for me because I love fish and I wanted it to be a part of my diet. I figured if I could get a flavor that I would love, the cooking method wouldn't matter. I'm glad to say that I was right!

The picture above is my lunch. It's oven baked tilapia with a side of tomato. The tomato is a small one, sliced super thin and topped with a sprinkling of salt and a pinch or two of dried basil. Brag moment, I grew the tomato and the basil myself! :)

The tilapia is just as simple. Here's the recipe:

1 tilapia filet, thawed

Seasonings (your choice and in the amounts you chose. I used garlic and herb, rosemary and garlic, house seasoning, basil and black pepper.

2 tablespoons olive oil

Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees. Mix all the seasonings together in a bowl and add one tablespoon of the olive oil and mix to make a paste. Take a baking pan and add the other tablespoon of oil and make sure to coat the entire bottom. (I used a small cast iron skillet.) Place the pan in the oven and allow it to heat up. Coat the fish on both sides with the oil/seasoning mixture and place in the hot pan. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes or longer depending on the thickness of your fish. The fish should be flaky with a fork but not dried out. (Keep an eye on it because it's easy to overcook!)

Note: I'm not being paid by Tone's seasonings or NoSaltAdded.net. These are products that I have discovered and love because they taste great and are salt free.

Reflections #WLS

2012-06-23T14:04:00.000-05:00

I'll admit to being a HUGE Diana Ross and the Supremes fan. They were such divas and at times, I imagine myself to be a diva too! :D The title of this particular blog posts comes from one of my favorites songs by the group and while they sing of love lost and longing, I'm using it as a moment to look back on where I started and where I am today.

It will be a year on June 27. A year for what? My RNY surgery. It has been the most epic and life-changing event to ever happen to me. Has it been easy? Not at all but I have not one moment of regret. I have learned so many life lessons and I'll share a few.

I am so much stronger that I ever thought I could be.
Strength comes from with in. It comes from being able to ask for help when you need it. It also comes from recognizing your own weaknesses and doing what needs to be done to correct them or finding someone to work with you on them. I really thought I could handle everything but I quickly learned that I needed help. Realizing this fact and actually asking for help made me a better person.
I have learned the meaning of true friendship and love.Believe it or not, I have actually had some people who no longer really socialize with me since the weight loss has started. I have never been the type to rub it in anyone's face about losing weight because I know how hard it is and frankly, the attention I've been getting sometimes terrifies me but some of the people who were supportive before the surgery have just 'disappeared'. No ugly falling out or anything like that. Too busy to talk or visit or have visits. The dreaded "we have nothing in common any more" or "you don't understand how I feel". It's true, our relationship can't be centered around food any more because I have changed in that aspect but I'm still your friend, I still love to shop and talk and goof off. I still want to be there for you. I really do understand. The surgery was a kick start, not the magic wand! I still have work to do and a long road to hoe! (Thanks, grandma, for that one! LOL)

What I have discovered is that I have my own personal cheerleaders. They support, commensurate and kick my butt when needed! Some are family, some are friends and coworkers, all are wonderful!! DH is the best thing ever. He is my rock and my strength. He lets me bitch, moan and cry. He also helps me celebrate and buy new, pretty things. He makes me feel beautiful, regardless of size. I love him!!
I have learned that without support, I wouldn't have made it this far. (Thanks, BBGC!!) One of the first things we were told, even before surgery, was to find a good support group. I have gone to face to face groups and they were OK but the best group I have found was online. The Bariatric Bad Girls Club is the most awesome group of ladies (and a few gents) ever!! They support and love on you but they also keep it real and I appreciate that. They don't sugarcoat the ups and down of living life after surgery and everyone's journey is different but they respect that. They celebrate with you, cry with you and pick you up when you need someone to hold your hand. I love those wild girls and one day, I hope to meet many of them in person.

My next doctor visit won't be until July 11th so I can't report an official weight yer. (no, I still don't own a scale!!) I just wanted to share what has been going on and where my thoughts are! Be blessed and have a wonderful Saturday!!

SMOOCHES!!

Learning To Balance Expectations in the Real World

2012-05-20T15:57:00.000-05:00

ex•pec•ta•tion

[ èk spek táysh'n ]

Anticipation of something happening: a confident belief or strong hope that a particular event will happen

I would be lying if I didn’t admit to having major expectations after WLS. Weight loss, of course, is the major one but in my mind’s eye there are others as well. I want to be able to participate in life more. I’ve started back going to movies and I’m getting out more. My focus on weight loss has always been from a life standpoint. What I mean is I had this procedure to be able to live the life I want to live and not be a skinny girl. I want to live a full, participatory life! I want to be able to travel and see the world. I want to love on my hubby and my family. I want to live life!!!

What I failed to anticipate was OTHER people’s expectations. As we are coming to the close of school, one of the main comments I keep hearing is “When we come back from summer, we won’t hardly recognize you!”

HUH??

I realize these people mean well but I’m beyond frustrated with their projecting their expectations on me. Of course, I will be still working on weight loss this summer and I know that some of the commenters mean well but I am also aware there are some who are waiting to see me fail. Talk about pressure I don't need!

When I saw the above image, I realized I had to focus on my own expectations and my own motivations. In the past, Big Beautiful Diva would have internalized it all and ate those feeling. For a while, it did bother me but I've come to realize several important facts.

This is my life and I'm going to live it in the way the makes ME happy and my family proud!
I can accept the fact there will be those who want to see me stumble. It's their issue and not mine. I can't take it personally!
There will be time that I will stumble. I'll get back up and keep going.
I will continue to surround myself with positive, inspirational people.
Needing support does not make you weak. It only means you are strong enough to admit you need help.

I hope everyone is having a great day. Much love and as always, SMOOCHES!!

Saturday in the park!

2012-05-05T09:47:00.000-05:00

It has been an interesting 10 months. So many changes have come about and with them, changes in perception and attitude, both mine and others. But first things first. My Saturday has started out great. I have a load of clothes in the washer, breakfast on the table for DH and I gathered my first harvest from my basil plants!

This is a big bowl and I'm thrilled they are growing so well! I wish I could do scratch and sniff because the basil smells wonderful! These will be dried (low heat, 200 degrees) and stored in an airtight jar. It so wonderful in so many dishes and when you compare store basil that is mostly stems, this is so worth the effort of drying your own. My other plants are doing well and I can't wait to see what bounty they will bring.

I was saddened by the news of the death of Adam Yauch, better known as MCA of the Beastie Boys. The first song I remember hearing from them was Brass Monkey. It was my senior year of high school and for a bunch of African-american kids, it was a pivotal moment. It was the first time we had heard white guys rap and it was so different from what we had heard before. It was mind blowing and we loved it! RIP, MCA - You changed us all so much!

I guess it's also time to post a picture of myself to just let my few readers see my progress. I was blown away when I saw the difference but here goes nothing:

It's just wow to me. I have no words so I'll move on. We have plans to go to the Swinging Bridge Festival. It's a local thing but it sounds like fun and it's a beautiful Saturday to be out and about. Have a good weekend, my friends and until next time,

SMOOCHES

Non-Scale Victories or "Does this mean I get to go shopping?"

2012-04-02T11:46:00.001-05:00

For the uninitiated, non-scale victories are just that – things that happen in the course of weight loss that aren’t defined by the weight on the scale. For a better understanding, this is an excellent article on the topic. Non-scale victories or NSV’s are those little things that show you the progress you are making. It could be something as simple as walking up a flight of stairs and realizing you aren’t huffing and puffing when you reach the top or something major like fitting into the seat at the movie theater. NSV are different for everyone but are no less important.

It’s the little things that keep you going on the days when you feel stressed or just having a bad day. Here’s my current list of non-scale victories. I want them written out so on days when I wonder “Why me?” and I’m en-route to my pity party, I can be reminded of the good things that have happened so far.

Ø Going into my closet and wearing the cute, pre-obese clothes that I had been holding on to with the fantasy of being able to wear them again one day.

Ø Date night with hubby and we went to the movies. I fit in the stadium seats comfortably and realized how much I missed going to the movies because I feared not fitting in the seats!

Ø Going the huge garden center and walking around for almost an hour without realizing it! Before, I would have been exhausted after 10 minutes and would have spent most of the time sitting around.

Ø Turning into this weekend “domestic goddess”! On Saturdays, I get up early, cook breakfast and clean the house while rocking out to my ‘housecleaning list’ on my IPod. I can remember spending many Saturdays sleeping all day because I was so tired all the time. My energy has come up and I just feel fantastic!

Ø Looking in the mirror and starting to see the girl I used to be in college. I’m not at college weight (yet!) but she is on her way back!

There are so many other small yet meaningful things that happen every day that make my choice worthwhile. I know there will be rough days but just see this list reminds me that victory come in big burst or in small rays of sunshine.