The Skunk

Romney Campaign Uses Antisocial Media

Editors, The Skunk — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 21:06:37 PST

BOSTON -- Presidential candidate Mitt Romney took down his Facebook page Monday and replaced it with the words “Go Away,” making him the first politician to use antisocial media to spread his...

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NRA Cites Rep. Giffords as Proof that ‘Guns Don’t Kill’

Editors, The Skunk — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 11:19:36 PST

Rep. Gabrielle Giffords (D-AZ) was praised by the National Rifle Association for exemplifying their motto: “Guns Don’t Kill.”

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Costa Concordia

Editors, The Skunk — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 09:31:05 PST

An ad for the sunken Costa Concordia cruise ship gives promise for a new coral reef.

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Cat’s Meow Doesn’t Wake Sleeping Family in Apt. Fire

Editors, The Skunk — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 17:25:48 PST

VENICE, CA -- Devon and Madeline Sutton died in an apartment fire Thursday, despite the cries of a three-year-old tabby cat who meowed vigorously.

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Romney Wants U.S. Tax Revenue Paid Directly to Him

Editors, The Skunk — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 22:21:28 PST

MANCHESTER, N.H. -- In a speech to a group of supporters, Mitt Romney today proposed that all U.S. tax revenue be paid directly to him. Under the new “Internal Romney Service,” personal and...

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Newt Gingrich Sues Satire Website

Editors, The Skunk — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 16:40:21 PST

LOS ANGELES -- Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich filed a libel lawsuit today against website The Skunk (www.TheSkunk.org), claiming the satirical publication defamed his reputation in an article...

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Dog Travels 1400 Miles Back to Its Old Cage at Animal Shelter

Editors, The Skunk — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 14:54:16 PST

ALTOONA, AL (TheSkunk.org) -- A female cocker spaniel traveresed a thousand miles of unfamiliar terrain for six weeks to make her way back to her old cage at the Etowah County Animal Shelter.

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The 10 Greatest Jobs of 2012

Editors, The Skunk — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 14:49:05 PST

As 2012 looms just around the corner, The Skunk is pleased to present its annual assessment of the ten greatest jobs of the new year.

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Coca-Cola Puts Cocaine Back in Formula

Editors, The Skunk — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 11:28:53 PST

ATLANTA (TheSkunk.org) -- The Coca-Cola Company today announced the reintroduction of cocaine back into its popular soft drink after an absence of over a hundred years.

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Local Wal-Mart Apologizes for Accidentally Carrying Hanukkah Wrapping Paper

Editors, The Skunk — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 15:24:44 PST

FAIRHOPE, AL (TheSkunk.org) -- Christian protestors expressed their outrage yesterday outside the Wal-Mart on County Road, after someone in their Church discovered Hanukkah wrapping paper for sale in...

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Chris Christie Vows to Keep Eating Until He’s ‘Bigger Than Taft’

Editors, The Skunk — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 00:25:52 PST

TRENTON, NJ -- Governor Chris Christie responded today to criticism of his obesity by announcing plans to continue expanding his waistline until he is “bigger and heavier than that fat fuck William...

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Mitt Romney: ‘S Corporations are People with Spina Bifida’

Editors, The Skunk — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 11:48:39 PST

GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney told students at the University of New Hampshire that “S corporations are people with spina bifida.”

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Postal Service to Increase Efficiency by Sending Employee Paychecks in the Mail

Editors, The Skunk — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 22:56:42 PST

The U.S. Postal Service today announced plans to increase speed and efficiency by sending postal worker paychecks through the mail.

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‘Obama Is Serial Killer Whose Murderous Rampage Must Stop,’ Says Mitt Romney

Editors, The Skunk — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 17:53:07 PST

DES MOINES, Iowa (TheSkunk.org) — GOP Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney today accused President Obama of being a psychopathic serial killer, whose trail of dead corpses has put our country’s...

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Did American Airlines act properly when it removed Alec Baldwin from a plane for not turning off his cell phone prior to take-off?

Editors, The Skunk — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 15:07:17 PST

“It was completely wrong of the airline to treat Mr. Baldwin in this manner, and I blame the flight attendant for not knowing how big a star he is. You just don’t go around kicking big stars...

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Donald Trump to Debate His Own Penis

Editors, The Skunk — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 14:50:54 PST

Donald Trump announced he will be debating his own penis.

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Herman Cain Suspends His Marriage

Editors, The Skunk — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 15:09:59 PST

ATLANTA (TheSkunk.org) – Saying the bevy of “false accusations” against him have been hurtful to his wife and family, presidential candidate Herman Cain announced today the suspension of his 43-year...

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Stray Dog: ‘I Mounted Herman Cain’s Leg’

Editors, The Skunk — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 22:09:01 PST

ROANOAKE, TX -- An abandoned golden retriever claims to have mounted Herman Cain's legs on several occasions going back to 2005.

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UCLA Blames Crushing 0-50 Loss on ‘Lousy Players’

Editors, The Skunk — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 12:41:58 PST

LOS ANGELES (TheSkunk.org) -- UCLA Coach Rick Neuheisel blamed Saturday night's colossal 0-50 loss against rival USC on "lousy players."

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Explosion at Sugar Refinery Causes Carameltdown

Editors, The Skunk — Sat, 26 Nov 2011 11:40:40 PST

SWEETWATER, TX -- An explosion at a major sugar refinery occurred last night, as stunned employees stared on with glazed expressions.

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Fox News Not Reporting on Study that Says Its Viewers Are Uninformed

Editors, The Skunk — Fri, 25 Nov 2011 12:52:34 PST

NEW YORK -- Fox News executives decided not to report the results of a new study by Fairleigh Dickinson University that concluded Fox viewers are less informed about current events than those who...

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Cat Forced to Vacuum Up Its Own Fur

Editors, The Skunk — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 16:12:00 PST

SAN JOSE, CA (TheSkunk.org) -- A short-haired calico cat was forced by its owners Thursday to vacuum up its own fur.

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Should the Government Pay to Remove Crack Houses in Blighted Neighborhoods?

Editors, The Skunk — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 22:59:56 PST

“To tear down a whole house just for a few minor repairs doesn’t make any sense. Wouldn’t it be money better spent to fill in the cracks of these otherwise inhabitable homes and give a...

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A.D.D. Explorer Forgets Location of Latest Discovery

Editors, The Skunk — Sat, 19 Nov 2011 15:06:55 PST

An underwater explorer with attention deficit disorder discovered a legendary Spanish galleon, but forgot to record its location and can't remember where he found it.

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Family of Dr. Seuss Sues Nazi Group Over Book Title

Editors, The Skunk — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 15:50:11 PST

Glenn Beck Offered Professorship at Yeshiva UniversityNew McCain Strategy: I’m Blacker than Obama

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Cain Says He Will Take Dramatic 5‑Minute Pause Before Making Any Decisions

Editors, The Skunk — Fri, 18 Nov 2011 13:05:37 PST

NASHUA, N.H. (TheSkunk.org) -- Presidential hopeful Herman Cain defended the uncomfortable five minutes of silence he took trying to respond to a simple foreign policy question by claiming it was all...

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‘Occupy Earth’ Movement Baffles Authorities

Editors, The Skunk — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 18:59:09 PST

LOS ANGELES -- From Oakland to Paris, law enforcement agencies around the world are in a quandary figuring out how to deal with the new "Occupy Earth" movement.

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If the Presidential Election Were Held Today, for Whom Would You Vote?

Editors, The Skunk — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 12:32:17 PST

“Michele Bachmann, definitely. I look forward to at least four years of listening to her thoughtful discourse and well-reasoned policy positions. In addition, I feel she will do the most to...

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Sandusky to Enter Republican Primary Race

Editors, The Skunk — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 19:04:35 PST

STATE COLLEGE, PA -- Former Penn State football coach Jerry Sandusky has thrown his hat into the 2012 Republican presidential primary race.

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High School Junior Cannot Stop Using the Word ‘Dude’

Editors, The Skunk — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 11:57:35 PST

TEMPLE CITY, CA -- High school junior Byron Carter has tried unsuccessfully for the last six months to utter a complete sentence that does not contain the word "dude" in it.

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