There is no greater hindrance to effective connection than ineffective communication.

So, stop taking notes the next time you sit down with someone, or some group. Stop talking. Listen. Look the speaker in the eye. Hear what they are saying and try to discern the place in their minds where it is coming from. Watch their body language. Ask questions that you have thought through. But most of all, just listen. Carefully, completely, consciously.

Humans hate rejection. Nobody wants to be the first one to extend a hand at a first meeting. I think if most people had it their way, there would be no such thing as hand-shaking.

Now, if the connection comes to them, they are just fine. There is no pressure to deliver in those situations. If you meet someone, initiate a relationship, put yourself out there in asking to connect, you’re essentially saying that the person you’re talking to will find as much value in being connected with you as you will with them.

That’s a tall order.

And people don’t want the responsibility of filling it.

So, if you become an initiator, you are a commodity, indeed.

Get to know them. Find out what they need on a daily, weekly, monthly basis, and find out how you can meet those needs. Then meet them. Find out what they do, who they are, why they do the things they do. Empathize.

Make engagement with that person a priority every single day. Use your resources with no expectation reciprocation.

On Friday, come here and tell your story. I’m looking forward to hearing them.

The freemium mindset exists on the message that if you offer a valuable product or service for nothing, there will be a paid version of the same product or service that people will be more willing to pay for. When you give a certain quantity for nothing, you inherently build value into the level of that product or service that does have a cost. When the inherent value is built firmly in the perspective of your consumers, you’ve got a loyal, and paying, customer base.

The common argument has always been that there will always be those who are content to take the free offering and never upgrade to the paid version. That’s a very true sentiment, and perhaps the reason that this approach didn’t work for Ning.com.

There are a lot of freemium service out there, though. So, one must ask, are we fooling ourselves? Are we spinning our wheels? I think not.

Freemium only works when those who enjoy the free version of a product or service can see without a shadow of a doubt the value in paying for something more. They must be convinced that they will be missing an opportunity if they simply content themselves with the free version. Sure, it’s fine for some people who don’t really want to make an impact, but if they want to shine? Well, they need to invest in themselves.

Perspective is a powerful thing, and it’s the driving force behind this new marketplace. I think maybe Ning just never made themselves valuable enough to their users.

What do you think?

Which makes me think. I try not to get caught up in semantics when possible, but there is this voice in the back of my head that says that social media, as we know and use it, isn’t a very descriptive of this phenomenon that we are all enjoying. I mean, technology is obviously the necessary vehicle to make all of this happen, but is it the focal point of what is happening?

I mean what do you call a large, or small, group of people who have similar goals, ideas, different ideas, willingness to help each other, and common purpose? Sounds like a really nice neighborhood to live in. I’d let my little girl play with the kids who live on that street.

To my way of thinking, the human element is the vital factor in the amazing process of social media. And it has become more important than ever before as technology continues to improve. So it makes sense to me that we need to focus more on that personal perspective than simply on the vehicle that is carrying it.

Community is a powerful thing, and, I believe, the true power behind social media. If we really understand that the idea of community is bigger than location or geographical, economical, or demographical boundaries, then we can really start making social media productive. When communities are centered on ideas and purpose and vision, social media can really be effective. And if the effectiveness of the tool is dependent on the presence of the concept, should the tool really get the name? Is that really accurate?

I’m in favor of community collaboration. Thoughts?

Thank you very much.

This weekend, contemplate something for me: Why are certain relationships important to you? How do you set priority within your sphere of connection? Which relationship is worth more of your time, and why? Be honest with yourself, and discuss in the comments.

Have a great weekend all!

“Former City Manager”

“Regional Sales Manager”

“All Promotions”

“Tech Guru”

“Helps companies communicate better”

OR

“Visionary Entrepreneur”

“Looking for positions in Sales Management, Sales, Advertising, Business Development, Marketing and Medical Sales”

“Social Media Campaign Visionary”

“Business Minded Web Designer & Social Media Enthusiast”

Who are you more likely to connect with?

He came up to me after the meeting, and as we talked he realized there was a LOT about what we do that he didn’t know!

Sound familiar?

Relationships take a lot of work. We know that. But it’s so easy, especially when the relationship extends beyond the borders of professionalism, to get complacent in a relationship. Before long, if you’re not paying attention, you’ll end up being completely out of the loop when it comes to that “great friend” you thought you knew so well. And we can’t make ourselves valuable to the people around us.

Are there relationships that you need to revisit?

Bloated self-image is the biggest self-detriment in existence.

Social media is very much a relatively new technology, and while getting involved is a good idea, great even, getting involved the wrong way could be worse than not getting involved at all.

I’m a social media coach, and I’ve found there are three kinds of people. There are those who are self-aware enough to know what they don’t know and to allow themselves to be taught, educated, and helped.

There are those who have absolutely no self-awareness, who call me simply to talk about how much they “know” about social media in what I think is a misguided attempt to impress me.

Finally there are those whose self-awareness only extends so far, who feel they have no time for now things because they have so much going on, and who just want someone else to take care of things for them.

It’s all about milk and steak. When we’re babies, we drink milk. When we grow to be big kids, we eat steak. If you never allow yourself to be taught, you’ll always end up choking on the steak, because you never got past the milk. And if you just content yourself with milk because you don’t have time to learn how to eat a good steak, you’ll miss out on all the good things that steak has to offer. But if you realize that you’re a milk drinker, and allow someone to teach you about steak, you’ll be one happy person indeed.

Hungry?