The Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar

A Mug Shot We Love

2012-03-29T11:45:00.003-07:00

Marcia J. sent along this little beauty: a photo of the foam on her latte featuring SPOGG's punctuation action figure.

We love it! While it's not quite the commitment that the world's first SPOGG tattoo required, we'll drink to it nonetheless.

If you'd like your very own SPOGG mug, visit our shop. Please forgive us the spelling of "stationery," though. We have no control over that.

And if you're a writer, you must check out Marcia's blog post about branding. We confess that we did not think of our efforts as such--really, it was all about having fun--we are glad they've made the right impression on someone so savvy and articulate.

Distinguished Prose: No Ifs, Ands, or Butts...

2012-03-13T11:44:00.000-07:00

A SPOGG member sends this memo she received at work (emphasis hers):

During the afternoon of March 9, 2012, the trash can near the smoking Kiosk area caught fire. After investigating the cause of the fire, it was determined, most likely, that a cigarette butt was put in the trash receptacle instead of the cigarette receptacle. If the maintenance team had not reacted immediately and DISTINGUISHED the fire, this incident could have put the Headquarters Complex in a dangerous fire situation. As a result, OOA will make recommendations to Senior Management on how to prevent or minimize such an incidence from occurring in the future. Please be advised that until a final decision is made, it is imperative that ALL cigarette butts are disposed of in the cigarette receptacles located in the designated smoking area. Thank you for your cooperation.

It's Like a Martini ... for the Ears

2012-01-31T15:48:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since we've posted, but we have good reason. Our first novel comes out in June, and we have been busybusybusy honing it to perfection. One round of copy editing, two rounds of proofreading, and a stronger glasses prescription later, we think it's ready for the world. The misspelling in the title is on purpose.

(Go here for more information about the novel.)

Meanwhile, National Grammar Day gallops toward us on bright and clattering hooves. John McIntyre of The Baltimore Sun, he of the delightfully cranky* You Don't Say blog, has recorded an audio version of the Grammar Noir he wrote in 2009 to celebrate the first National Grammar Day.

You really must listen.

And then, for National Grammar Day on March 4, we invite you to pin the apostrophe in the contraction. Either that, or remove it from the possessive. Yes! We believe in having that much fun!

May the fourth be with you!

* We like him even if we do not always agree on grammar or the virtues of shaking vs. stirring a grammartini.)

It's Never Too Early to Learn to Spell

2011-10-20T16:11:00.000-07:00

It's "whore," you little dummy. WHORE.*

*Oh, we're only kidding. They prefer to be called sex workers.**

**Just kidding. Call them Nancy.***

*** We'll stop now, as we're starting to look like a hores's ass.

It's the Little Things

2011-09-17T05:55:00.001-07:00

R. sends this photo of a sign hanging somewhere in Arizona. It's so close to being right. Just that missing letter N.

People, that N is out there.

Maybe it's inserted itself into a "stationnery" sign at Office Depot. Or maybe it's run away with the missing apostrophe and E from this tattoo.

Please do keep a look out so that we don't have to make a custom milk carton pleading for its safe retur ...

Craiglisterious: We Don't Know What This Means

2011-09-12T18:46:00.000-07:00

SPOGG member Linnea D sent this Craigslist gem.

We suggest you read it out loud to appreciate the full measure of the lunacy. Druck free? Maybe. But we doubt it.

Will Drive car with person Truck with load car with pet (orange park to brunswick ga)

CLEAN WHITE 48 RETIRED GREAT RIVER NO TICKETS NO ACCIDENTS WILL DRIVER YOUR CARE TRUCK WITH LOAD CARE WITH LOAD

CARE WITH ANIMALS....NEED TO GET TO BRUNSWICK GA TOMORROW.....

DRUCK AND BOOZE FREE PLEASE EMAIL BACK OR CALL DRIJVE SAFE YOU PAY FROM GAS VERY IMPORTANT..CALL 904 477 2250

Not Quite Mary Poppins

2011-08-24T06:26:00.000-07:00

From a Craigslist ad written by a prospective nanny:

Exp'd, Loving, Conscious [sic] Nanny Available

Unfortunately, we're only in the market for an unconscious nanny.

Thanks to Kate R. for the find. And good luck with the nanny search.

There Is No U in Flowers

2011-08-23T06:23:00.000-07:00

But there are two of them in "bouquets."

The spelling teacher probably needs a dozen incentive tulips (which are different from apology daisies and attempted-seduction roses).

Thanks to Matt K. for the photo.

Oh, Red (Pen) State...

2011-08-12T15:57:00.000-07:00

You know the expression "so wrong it's right?"

Yeah, well, that doesn't apply here. All of these errors still add up to a big, fat yikes, and as Sara J. of Mobile, Alabama puts it, "This does not help southern Alabama shed its backwoods image."

Cue the banjos, y'all. It's been that sort of week.

It's "know," not "no." It's "you're," not "your." And it should be "supposed to," not "suppose to." A little punctuation wouldn't hurt, either. All that said, the onion rings look really good.

Don't Drink and Dress

2011-08-11T19:16:00.000-07:00

Look, we'd drink margaritas every day if we could. They're delicious! So tangy and salty!

But, just as we love our liver, we would never use the apostrophe to make a plural, nor would we spell everyday as one word, unless we were saying something to the effect of "Margarita is ordinary."

Thanks to Alan H. for the photo.

This Makes Us Hear Banjo Music

2011-08-09T16:45:00.000-07:00

The price is right. But we do sort of wonder what he charges for the "open."*

* CONSCIENCE: Is that thinly veiled sex joke taking it a bit too far?

PERSONAL DEMONS: What are you talking about? Look, nipples!

CONSCIENCE: You should probably step away from the keyboard.

PERSONAL DEMONS: You shore got a purty mouth.

Thanks to Meredith for the photo.

New Books from Grammar Girl

2011-07-20T08:49:00.000-07:00

It's not widely known that Mignon Fogarty, aka Grammar Girl, is actually an android. How else could she keep up with her inhuman podcast, media appearances, and publishing schedule? SPOGG is in awe of all of the above, including the technology that has given us such a lifelike robot. Rumor has it that she even giggles when you poke her just so in the ribs. Adorable!

We are pleased to recommend two of her most recent titles: Grammar Girl Presents the Ultimate Writing Guide for Students and Grammar Girl's 101 Misused Words You'll Never Confuse Again.

The student guide is fantastic--printed in orange and black and chock full of cartoons, so it feels anything but tedious.

The advice is written clearly and simply enough that a student as young as 10 or so could benefit. But it's also a book that will help anyone who wants to brush up on grammar and style basics. If you're one of those people who feels insecure about your writing, do check this one out. Henry Holt is the publisher, and the list price is $19.99.

101 Misused Words is an extremely handy guide that pairs words often mistaken for one another, and offers you tips for remembering which to use and why. If you don't know whether to use "stationary" or "stationery," (and we're talking to you, office supply clerk), you'll soon learn.

The book will be useful to anyone who writes regularly for publication. We're not just talking journalists here, although we often see misused words from Grammar Girl's list in newspapers. Rather, we're talking about the people who write menus and advertisements. The people who post notices on bulletin boards. The people who send us spam. The list is long. It probably includes you. Lord knows we're on it and have made some of these errors ourselves, because we, unfortunately, are mere flesh and blood.

101 Misused Words is a mere $5.99, from St. Martin's Griffin.

The Unkindest Cut

2011-07-15T11:35:00.000-07:00

The story is gruesome, but the headline gets the location wrong. She was accused in court; the alleged crime happened in her bedroom. The whole thing? Tragic.

Thanks to Beth for the submission.

That Vs. Who: Why It Matters

2011-07-14T07:06:00.000-07:00

We are lifting this out of the comments because it makes such an important point so elegantly:

I teach college English, and it is becoming more and more difficult for me to find students not using "that" as the default indicative pronoun when referring to people or groups of people in both speech and writing. The simple example I hammer into their questing noggins every semester is this:

People = Who/whom
Things (anything not human) = That (SPOGG: or which)

The rationale I give is also simple, yet I think quite profound:

Our society and culture depersonalize humanity -- individuals or groups of individuals -- too much as it is. Let us not contribute to that depersonalization any more, as it may ultimately depersonalize us all.

~ Prof. Peter R Jacoby
San Diego Mesa College

I am adorable.

We remember learning this lesson ourselves somewhere back in the Dark Ages. Thank you, Doug Thiel, for using the hammer on our writing when we were young and malleable.

A related issue arises with animals. We think any animal with a name is a "who."

So, "My cat Fluffy, who eats rats for breakfast, has surprisingly pleasant breath."

And then this: "The dolphin, which swam alongside the ship, gave the wrong directions to Portugal."

'Gulity' Until Presumed Ignorant?

2011-07-13T13:07:00.000-07:00

We get all the outrage around the Casey Anthony verdict. But we think this lady should have calmed down and taken a couple of deep breaths before she wrote this sign. Then, she might have spelled "guilty" correctly and gone with the plural "jurors." We don't think there's any way she could have resisted the exclamation points, though. They are her swords of justice.

Thanks to Matt K. in Ohio for the photo.

Misfortune Cookie

2011-07-12T14:16:00.000-07:00

OK, so this didn't come from a fortune cookie, even if it looks like it.

Instead, it's a sign Alex F. found inside a bathroom at a park.

The toilet had but one handle, which would've matched the "it will malfunction" bit of the sentence so much better.

Then again, maybe rough treatment of the handle causes the toilet to malfunction.

This is the problem with pronouns. They need to match the antecedent (the noun that comes first). If a sentence (or toilet fortune) is missing its antecedent, confusion and possibly bathroom flooding can result.

In any case, all of this makes us wonder about the people who clobber public toilet handles. The less contact with these, the better. But maybe that's just us.

Sign of the Times: Drive ... Nice?

2011-07-09T14:05:00.000-07:00

Bless Miriam K's heart. She took this photo while running a half-marathon in Seattle.

This is one of those tweener grammar issues. You no doubt remember the "Think Different" campaign for Apple. That was legitimate--they were not telling us to think in another way, but rather, to think about what it means to be different. It's a slight difference in construction, but a big difference in meaning. It's much better to be encouraged to think about the world-changing outliers than it is to be told the way you're currently thinking is faulty.

On this one, though, we wish the makers of the sign hadn't flattened the adverb. "Drive nicely" is admittedly stodgy, but "drive nice" doesn't, to us, convey any extra meaning.

We do wish they'd had a typo and written "DRIVE MICE." We've always wanted to saddle up one of those bad boys.

Oh, and if you are interested in learning more about linking verbs, which are legitimately followed by adjectives and not adverbs, click here for some helpful information.

Probably Too Late for This Guy

2011-07-08T13:52:00.000-07:00

Education, eductaion. Potato, potao. We fear for the future.

Seattle folk: Get a discount on a writing seminar

2011-07-06T10:32:00.001-07:00

If you live in the Pacific Northwest, you might enjoy an upcoming seminar on July 26 at the University of Phoenix Bellevue Learning Center.

The instructor, John Sturtevant, is offering a big discount to friends of the Society for the Promotion of Good Grammar ($275 instead of the regular $425 price).

Here's info about the event:

Get the confidence and skills you need to think clearly and write what you mean.

Information is plentiful in every organization. But how you communicate that information is critical. You must continually turn information into knowledge to help your managers, colleagues, and customers understand often complex ideas, and make educated decisions.

Clear writing starts with clear thinking.

John Sturtevant's Business Writing Seminar is an energetic, fun, challenging, and thought-provoking day packed with new ideas and practical techniques – all designed to give you the confidence to master what people struggle with the most – how to think clearly and write what you mean.
What you’ll learn:

The most important goal in writing (it’s not what you think).
The #1 question on every reader’s mind (you’re thinking it right now).
Why thinking about tomatoes will make you a better writer (it really works!)
4 ways to define your objective and expected outcome.
Listening skills that help you identify your reader’s perspective.
How to understand, and answer, your reader’s expectations.
Why format, style, and organization contribute to clear writing.
Persuasive-writing structure and techniques that produce results.
Dozens of other practical ideas you can use immediately!

Who should attend:

Managers, technical professionals, business analysts, sales and marketing pros, administrative staff – everyone who has to communicate their ideas throughout the work day.

In this interactive full-day session, you will collaborate on problem-solving exercises, write and revise assignments, and learn from others through peer critiques.

You’ll also learn and practice the principles of analysis and argument. In business, you most often write to convince others to do something – approve a budget, change a process, support a project, and dozens of other kinds of decisions. You’ll learn how to think analytically and form a logical, persuasive argument.

For more information or to register, click here. (Be sure to click the Friend of SPOGG option.)

We'd Almost Like to Work with This Guy

2011-06-24T12:07:00.000-07:00

From Craigslist (via Tiffany O.):

Help needed writing my way out of paper bag (telecommute)

Date: 2011-06-17, 7:55PM CDT
Reply to: job-wsvvu-2447219390@craigslist.org ^{[Errors when replying to ads?]}

I'm trying to write some light humor pieces, and need a second pair of eyes. I'm not so much a Strunk and White guy as a drunken white guy. Help save me from myself and my creative punctuation.

This would be very infrequent, and by the piece.

Location: telecommute
Compensation: United States
Telecommuting is ok.
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 2447219390

We Don't Care How Good Jim Tastes

2011-06-23T07:50:00.000-07:00

Nor do we care that he is free of that pesky gluten. We're just not ready to become cannibals.

(Thanks to Cristin F. for the photo.)

We Have No Further Comment

2011-05-05T05:34:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Samantha for the photo.

Paging Dr. Freud

2011-05-02T04:09:00.000-07:00

The misspelling of "Osama" is, perhaps, the worst Freudian slip of the year. It's not as though the S and B are even close to each other on the keyboard.

Sign. By. Shatner.

2011-04-20T13:14:00.000-07:00

If you read all the extraneous punctuation in this sign, it sounds a little bit like you're using the William Shatner Method of Dramatic Acting (with a touch of the Mike Myers "Ax Murderer" poetry inflection thrown in for good measure).

Thanks to Craig Conley (who has a new iPad app for Scrabble lovers who want to use all their consonants) for the photo, and to Kevin Emerson (who has a new vampire book out) for the Shatner joke.

They Had Us At Menopause

2011-04-13T06:24:00.000-07:00

Oh, it's just a small thing, really -- that extra apostrophe in "its." But we'd like the record to reflect that our brains are functioning well enough that we recognized that errant bit of punctuation.

Confidential to the people who write these ads: the liberal use of bold text, enlarged text, italics, and bold italics, along with an exclamation point, does not make the study sound any more appealing. We're middle aged, not moronic.

Thanks to Linnea D. for sending the image along.