The Sojourner

I Want to be Forgotten

2017-02-01T12:31:00.000-05:00

It seems to me that many people – certainly in my generation – but many people in general want to be impactful with their lives. This study comes from a desire to better understand how to be impactful or to “make a difference in the world.” In a humanitarian setting we might say “make a difference” where in a more mainstream setting we often say “make a name” for ourselves. We can’t live forever, except sometimes through our names. We want to be something great. We want to be remembered. This isn’t a new idea. I’ve heard it stated this way: “after I’ve died, I want people to remember me and say that I made a difference.” So, I had been thinking about this for some time and wondering how I too could be impactful for God’s kingdom and, in my immaturity, even wondered how I might become one of the great missionaries that people talk about for hundreds of years, and that was the lens through which I was reading scripture in that particular season. The concept sounded nice, but I wanted to test it against scripture. My questions were: how do we do great things and should we desire recognition for the good that we do? One passage that I read during that time was Genesis 11:1-9, which is the story of the tower of Babel. Here was a people who sought to accomplish great things and make a name for themselves through the power of unity:

Now the whole world had one language and a common speech. As people moved eastward, they found a plain in Shinar and settled there. They said to each other, “Come, let’s make bricks and bake them thoroughly.” They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar. Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves; otherwise we will be scattered over the face of the whole earth.” But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower the people were building. The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.” So the Lord scattered them from there over all the earth, and they stopped building the city. That is why it was called Babel - because there the Lord confused the language of the whole world. From there the Lord scattered them over the face of the whole earth.

This story took place after the fall of man and separation from God, and we see a unity of man. Unity, as a standalone concept, is usually considered to be a good thing. Many nations on earth are still diligently seeking unity of mankind. As Christians and missionaries, we seek unity in the work that we do. This is normal and acceptable – the opposite of unity being disunity. Yet, we see in Genesis that there is a unity that God did not approve of: a unity of man without God – man’s own creator. Calling that unity is kind of like saying that a family is united when really the children are united against the will and wisdom of their parents. There was unity, but it was a rebellion at the same time. The people of Babel were united to recognize themselves and build a monument to themselves. Unity of man without God is hollow and not at all a part of God’s plan for true unity. We then see that God divided them by confounding their language. Yet, God still had a plan for true and meaningful unity and for building His kingdom. In Acts 2 we find a story that I believe is inherently related to Babel. Verses 1-21:

When the day of Pentecost came, they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like the blowing of a violent wind came from heaven and filled the whole house where they were sitting. They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in other tongues as the Spirit enabled them. Now there were staying in Jerusalem God-fearing Jews from every nation under heaven. When they heard this sound, a crowd came together in bewilderment, because each one heard their own language being spoken. Utterly amazed, they asked: “Aren’t all these who are speaking Galileans? Then how is it that each of us hears them in our native language? Parthians, Medes and Elamites; residents of Mesopotamia, Judea and Cappadocia, Pontus and Asia, Phrygia and Pamphylia, Egypt and the parts of Libya near Cyrene; visitors from Rome (both Jews and converts to Judaism); Cretans and Arabs—we hear them declaring the wonders of God in our own tongues!” Amazed and perplexed, they asked one another, “What does this mean?” Some, however, made fun of them and said, “They have had too much wine.” Then Peter stood up with the Eleven, raised his voice and addressed the crowd: “Fellow Jews and all of you who live in Jerusalem, let me explain this to you; listen carefully to what I say. These people are not drunk, as you suppose. It’s only nine in the morning! No, this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel:
“‘In the last days, God says,
I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy,
your young men will see visions,
your old men will dream dreams.
Even on my servants, both men and women,
I will pour out my Spirit in those days,
and they will prophesy.
I will show wonders in the heavens above
and signs on the earth below,
blood and fire and billows of smoke.
The sun will be turned to darkness
and the moon to blood
before the coming of the great and glorious day of the Lord.
And everyone who calls
on the name of the Lord will be saved.’

This story took place after God’s plan for the salvation of man was made manifest in Christ. Here we see the early church – those who were in Christ – together in unity, but this time they had the missing component. They were in unity together but also in Christ himself rather than in rebellion to God. Interestingly, God used language as a sign of this unity in Him. Where language had been man’s unity devoid of God, tongues were given as a sign of their unity in God. Unlike the people of Babel, the church did not seek a name for themselves, but sought rather to promote the name of Christ that Christ might be glorified. We see later in the same chapter that three-thousand people were added to their number as a result. This is not the building of a monument to self, but rather of God’s kingdom through true, blessed unity with the goal of honoring God rather than man.

My goal, therefore, has become to go out and not make a name for myself. Honestly, you could say that I want to be forgotten. This may seem like a strange statement, but I’ve come to realize that I don’t need my name to live forever because I actually get to live forever with God. And yet, we still have a need to come together in unity to accomplish things for the kingdom, but we do so bearing in mind that our unity, even as Christians, must be a unity not just of ourselves, but one that is in Christ and in the will of God. We really can accomplish great things for the kingdom of God through unity, but being great in-and-of-itself should not be our goal; it’s about His glory. Even if we were to build ourselves up, the greatness of man pales in comparison to God. Take 1st Corinthians 1:25-31:

For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength. Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness, and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”

This is where we find greatness. We make ourselves great only in Him and in making His greatness known. Ultimately, it has become my prayer that whatever I do as an individual or in unity with my brothers and sisters would give glory only to the name of Jesus Christ: that any action or deed, any word or encouragement, anything that is of the Lord – given through this weak servant – would leave others with thanksgiving toward the Lord. Matthew 5:16 says “Let your light so shine before men that they would see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” I take that to mean: do good for all to see and in such a way that you glorify God. I don’t need a memorial built in remembrance of me; I don’t need to be a famous missionary; I don’t need to be thought of as impactful – rather, may Christ receive the glory for everything that He has done – even the good work that He has done in me. This is the only lasting difference that we can make. Our names and monuments are going to fade, but our God and His kingdom will be everlasting.

The Voice of Truth

2015-03-25T16:50:00.002-04:00

I perceive what is there
Through the mess and the noise and the still
And listen with diligence for what I cannot hear
It overwhelms me from within myself
When I listen

I need courage to move
For wisdom can seem foolish in the moment
So I forget myself
And I stand in awe of the power
When I listen

-Seth N. J. Mallay

Not Caring What Anyone Else Thinks of You

2013-05-25T14:39:00.004-04:00

I continue to see many "inspirational" posts on the internet concerning the liberation I would feel if I no longer cared what others think about me. I understand that the concept is born of a generation who are controlled by a drive to obtain the good opinion of others. I agree that we should not allow ourselves to be forced into thoughts or behaviors that are wrong merely to please other people. However, I fear that choosing to not care what anyone thinks of me would end up leading to stagnation of my personal growth. I am a resident physician. I have found that the criticisms of some of my mentors are weightier than the criticisms of others. I choose to care what these doctors training me think about my work taking care of patients. Obviously, for the Christ-follower, we care a great deal what God "thinks" of us. Similarly, I believe we ought to choose people whom we allow to influence us by their good opinions. I choose to care about what godly people think about my walk with the Lord. I choose to care about what good doctors think about my ability to heal. I even choose to care about what strangers think about how friendly I am. Why? Because I want to be a godly man, a good doctor, and a friendly person. I choose not to care about criticism when it would lead me away from my ideals.

"Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the site of God and man." Proverbs 3:3-4

The Medical Student Clock

2013-04-27T13:26:00.005-04:00

0500 first attempt at getting out of bed
(snooze)
(snooze)
(snooze)
4 minute shower
review 32 lectures for exam
give up on reviewing 32 lectures
realize there are an additional 12 lectures from past few days on exam
- (look at for first time)
0600 coffee
cold pizza while running out door
run home for student ID
pretend to learn something from notes while waiting for exam in hall
0700 Exam
wonder if this is the exam you studied for
leave exam room in a daze
listen to everyone complain about exam and disagree on answers
coffee
0800 Lecture
check e-mail
Delete 17 student organization messages
pay attention to class and make margin notes
go through online blood borne pathogen lecture and test
(just so you don't get kicked out of medical school)
check to see if exam scores are posted yet
(recheck)
(recheck)
(recheck)
0900 Lecture
highlight every single word in your lecture notes
(it is okay to skip "and" and "the" etc.)
look at facebook
-despair at how you don't have a life
coffee
1000 Lecture
keep tally of number of times professor says "um" this lecture and compare to record of 261 last week
make good use of your multicolored click pen
(if you have one)
check for exam scores
catch up on lecture notes
1100 Lecture
sit very low in chair to avoid questions from this lecturer
hope there is free food at the noon meeting
1200 student government meeting
relearn the meaning of professionalism...again
snatch extra food to take home
1300 Lecture
decide to skip this lecture and listen to the rest on audio later
nap in student lounge
1400 Lecture (skip)
write last 4 pages of 10 page paper
check e-mail
confirm attendance
verify loan amount
delete 25 student organization messages
check for exam scores again
-at least you passed
print paper
1500 Small Group
(hand in paper)
pretend to be awake
1600 allow other students to enjoy testing your corneal and gag reflexes
1700 Practical Exam
realize your partner is incompetent
(realize you are incompetent)
1800 Elective Lecture
ask yourself why you took an elective
1900 make 283 flashcards
review 107 flashcards
coffee
2000 exam review
realize exam review is useless
2100 listen to 5 hours worth of missed lecture from last week on audio triple speed
highlight all of your own margin notes
make an important looking study table
2200 read through some lecture notes for tomorrow's exam
15 minute workout in 8 minutes
2300 study group with friends
0000 coffee
study group self quizzing
cheesestick break
0100 take a practice exam
tell yourself the real exam will be easier
0200 focus on the 12 most difficult lectures
realize why they are the twelve most difficult
head home
start summarizing lectures
check e-mail
find full summary another student sent 2 minutes ago
realize sleep may be important
set 4 alarms
0300 Bed
0400 6 hours of sleep crammed into 2.5 hours
0500 first attempt at getting out of bed

Source: http://www.cafepress.com/photodoctor/7727865

A Father's Love

2012-08-10T19:51:00.002-04:00

The other day I had my one-year-old outside with me. She does not like to walk on grass or uneven ground, so she came to me and stretched her arms toward me and gazed at me expectantly. Instead of lifting her as she expected, I took one of her outstretched hands to guide her over the rough ground. "I know you want me to carry you, but you need to learn to walk in the hard places, little one." I realized how very familiar this scenario was to me. How often have I wanted God to just carry me through a trial, but instead He takes my hand and guides me through so that I may learn to walk in the hard places. "'O Shepherd. You said you would make my feet like hinds' feet and set me upon High Places.' 'Well,' he answered 'the only way to develop hinds' feet is to go by the paths which the hinds use.'" ― Hannah Hurnard, Hinds' Feet on High Places

A poor medical student

2011-04-09T12:04:00.004-04:00

Well, turns out it's difficult to raise a family and get through medical school at the same time. Who knew! ;)
In an attempt to earn some money to pay for my board exam fees, I am selling some of my artwork through cafe press. You can find my work here:
http://www.cafepress.com/PhotoDoctor

Please feel free to poke around. If you buy anything I earn a small commission. Also, please share the link if you know anyone who would be interested!

I periodically list thing on ebay as well. See:
http://shop.ebay.com/earthynspirit/m.html?_nkw=&_armrs=1&_from=&_ipg=25

Lord Jesus bless and keep you,

Seth

Home from Kenya

2010-03-10T19:09:00.002-05:00

To all of you who were lifting me up in prayer, thank you. My time in Kenya was amazing. From the beginning of the trip, I could keenly feel the presence of God as so many enveloped me and the mission in prayer. I was truly with a great group of people who were like-minded in making our primary goal the daily pursuit of God's will for our guidance

We spent time in fellowship with believers at Huduma Church in the Kawangware Slums on Sunday before heading to Thomson Falls Lodge, where we would remain for the duration of the week. The children of Kawangware were happy to see us and chased our van around shouting "hawayoo? hawayoo?" quite excitedly.

Monday and Tuesday we worked in a village called Olmoran. We ran a clinic where I practiced osteopathic manipulative medicine alongside a couple of chiropractors. The clinic had been advertised so people knew of it ahead of time and knew that it would be free. This brought many people from several miles around. Because some of us had earned more than what was required for the trip, we were able to also cover the registration fees for the patients. This gave them access to various medications such as antimalarial and antibacterial medicines. Over these two days we were also able to build a water purifier, as designed by Aquaclara. We taught a core group of individuals how to build the units and provided them with resources to continue making the systems. Two months from now, Olmoran should be producing 1040 liters of purified water per day. The hope is that they will be able to make some money by selling the units for a small fee so that more can be manufactured for the community. We also had opportunity for our team members and the local church to share the gospel.

On Wednesday we worked in the clinic in Lorien. Here we adjusted people and paid for their access to medication, but more than that, we attracted people from the area who would not have otherwise received antimalarial medication. Here we implemented an exercise class which was followed by the good news of Jesus for each class. This particular group of people has a past of great violence and we hope that we planted seeds that God will cause to grow.

On Thursday we ran a clinic and again taught a core group of locals how to build the water purifiers, this time in the village of (I think?) Salama. We continued with the exercise classes and the gospel to each group of 4-15 people at a time.

We ran our final clinic on Friday in Nyandarua.

My role on this trip was as one of the clinicians. Essentially, I adjusted people's necks, backs, hips, and limbs. I also had an opportunity to practice some cranial techniques on many children who complained of headaches. Also, I ended up holding a lot of children so their mothers could be adjusted. It was my privilege to be able to pray for and sometimes with every person I cared for. The other team-members did likewise. Although we all took pictures, I was also sort of the group photographer. I was able to take a number of photos that could be used by the organizations represented.

During my time in Kenya I realized that to say that "God has brought me here" meant more to me than His bringing me to the place in the world; I realized also how so many instances in my life were preparations for the work that I was doing. Beyond that, this trip has been a preparation for what is yet to come. I hope that in the journey God is walking me through, my life is not the only one changed. With God, how can it be otherwise?

I am excited about what God will do. If nothing else, I know I want to go back and that I want more. I am eager to continue working in Africa again someday, as God would lead me. I am glad to know of some of the specific needs. There was a surprising need for manual medicine. So many people with back pain and headaches. Many people rejoiced at how much better they felt. There is also a need for medicine in the areas we visited. Some surgery cases too. There is a HUGE need for clean, drinkable water. These people really need Jesus. I was encouraged to meet many brothers and sisters in Christ who care about the needs they have around them. Ministry there is a very real experience. I pray God brings me there again, and I have little doubt that that is my calling.

In summary, I am blessed and tired. I am a little under the weather (my whole family is), and I did not pass my exam. I did, however, already have a good enough grade in the class that I am still passing overall. God is good.

Thank you again for the prayers everyone. It's good to be home, but God's work is never done no matter where you are. :)

Video: http://vimeo.com/9606066

Waiting

2008-04-29T19:42:00.003-04:00

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.

-Dale Carnegie

That’s certainly an encouraging quote for me. It’s been over five years now since I was plunged into higher education as a scrawny and insecure home-schooled seventeen-year-old, and it’s been an interesting journey. I’ve finally been accepted into the medical school of my choice, and on some mighty slim chances. So many months of worrying whether I was sufficient: months of praying and waiting. However, my acceptance was not to be the end of my waiting. The school put me on their waitlist for the coming year. I may yet be accepted, even till the day before classes start, so...more waiting...and hoping. I’ve been waiting since January, hoping they’ll let me in this year. If not: more waiting.

“Here I am, Lord, prepare me...” ...famous last words. Ah, but the kiln is expected to burn.

Life is more than waiting and poverty, though. “Everything I really need I already have.” It’s not like every situation is easy, who in their right mind would expect that? No, it’s the beauty that passes in a fleeting moment that can awaken the awe of eternity in my heart. A simple, loving glance from my wife, a smile from our eight-month-old, a spring breeze, a hug from Boppa, playing a word game with my mom, Dawson’s extremely corny jokes (“what does a Japanese dove say when he’s on drugs? ...haiku” ...so dumb), a moment of playing with a sword in the woods like a seven-year-old, grass between my disfigured toes, or just nice coffee with Andrew, Carlos, and John Mark (hint, hint). The list is endless. It seems like life is just a teetering between highs and lows, and through it all God brings me to a place closer to Him.

Who knows.

If you actually read all of that, thanks for just listening to me encouraging myself.

In other news, Becca is almost done with her semester (oh, so glad), Arwen is cuter than ever, and we all had an enjoyable, but short visit from Sheena and Ryan. My dad went out to hunt for mushrooms yesterday. While he was gone our neighbor brought us a boatload of them already battered and fried (and, oh where they tasty). Dad came home with one mushroom (I chuckle aloud), only to find us feasting on fried morels.

Anyhow...bye.

A Midsummer’s Daydream

2007-07-14T13:59:00.000-04:00

"I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances."
-Martha Washington

Here I am, Lord. I just want to serve you.
You know, it's all about what's inside. Yesterday seemed so bleak. I felt overwhelmed and stresses out about all the things going on and about what will happen in the future. "Will I be accepted into medical school? Will I get this job? Will I be good at this job? How will I pay for the class I need this semester? How am I going to get that slideshow ready before Sheena's wedding? When will I have time to spend with a doctor? How will I ever provide for my family? Will I be a good daddy? What are we going to do about money? ..."
...yeah, I was feeling pretty overwhelmed. I had been working on my medical school application, and reviewing some guidelines for a possible new job. I felt sick in the pit of my stomach with a feeling of restlessness. I've often had to take short walks in the woods to cool off and breath. To quote the plaque on my wall:
There is a path that leads through the woodland~
a path I love to trod
To get away from this wild world's rush
and be alone with God
So yesterday, when I felt I could take no more, I stepped out into the front yard. There waiting for me was a cool but sunny day and a variety of pretty little flowers who seemed content just to flow with the breeze. I stood staring at God's creation, taking it for granted, when God reminded me of how much I usually appreciate the beauty of His creation. I realized that the day was really no different from any other day of the preceding week or year. There was beauty all around me, but I did not have the eyes to see it. It is amazing how different the same world can look to one person of varying emotions. I realized that how I see things relies on me and what's inside me. That's when I felt God reminding me that no matter my carnal emotion, He is inside me. There is nothing like feeling overwhelmed by His love.
So little in this world actually matters. The outcome of any situation matters little when you realize that the reason you are here, the reason for anything you do is to serve and give glory to Him.
I hope that makes sense. Sometimes it's almost embarrassing how many times God has to remind me of my purpose and of His love. But then, I am only human, and He is a big God.
Bless you,

Nej