The Sole's Delight

Evelyn's Daughter

2017-07-02T23:15:00.001-04:00

In a few days I am gonna celebrate my born day

the day I came through

Evelyn's womb

Telling the world to make room

For me

I always thought she would be her to celebrate

With me

But its

Just me

So I try to reinvent myself

every year

resurrect

born brand new

Searching my whole soul

for who I am

because part of this journey has made me forget

I am Evelyn's daughter

not an essence of herbal concoctions

mixed together to make one feel natural and authentic

I am Evelyn's daughter

Born of uncertain future

My path made through unorthodox measures

hidden treasures

and no judgement

pure love

This year when i contemplate how to celebrate just being

I will remember that I am Evelyn's Daughter

remember to share with my daughter

what God taught her

and honor that fact that He chose Me

to come through Her

All I Need is One Mic...

2015-03-05T14:25:00.000-05:00

So now that my creative juices are fully flowing, I decided to design a sneaker for the fellas. A shoe that I would get turned on if my man were wearing it. The more I get into this process, the more excited I become. When I designed the One Mic sneaker, I heard the Nas song in my head, Nas being my number one favorite hip hop artists. I think his work is a pure art form.

These sneakers are a great mix of an old school structure with a mature color pallet. These are what's up!

Tied to Everything ,Bound By Nothing

2015-03-01T11:25:00.001-05:00

In the short period of time that we have in this physical realm, many of us are searching for the meaning and purpose as to why we are here. We hope to find people and activities that make us happy. To the become the soul's manifestation of joy in our small piece of the world. You may be reading this wondering, "what is she talking about?" I'll be honest and say that I don't completely know. I have a feeling. Actually, I have several feelings that compel me to do many things at once. I work. I teach. I write. I am a mother. I take care of a home. I am a spouse. I am an SGRho. I am all these things and yet I feel compelled to do and be more. I am learning to live my life in the realm of endless possibility. If God has given me the opportunity and the energy then I should use them when I have them. With all the nouns and verbs that I just used to describe what I do, I am still striving to do more. Why? Because I can... because what else should/would I do? Our thoughts, ideas, feelings and actions are all connected. Tied together by common experiences and relationships, but unbounded at the them time. There are no limits to the tings we can do, the ways we can serve and the changes we can impact. So I strive to do more, one step at a time.

Expanding on My Passion

2015-01-05T10:50:00.001-05:00

I don't make new year's resolutions. I set goals every year and revisit them throughout the year. When my goals begin to reappear from one year to the next, that's my signal that I am losing focus and falling off.

This year I choose to revisit my creativity. I used to write every day. I had designs for new shoes. I danced. I fed my passion and that nurturing sustained me. Creativity unfortunately had become like prayer for me. I only engaged in it when I was hurting and needed healing and comfort. Now my every day thoughts are my prayers, meaning I don't make it a ritual instead it is a passion. So should be my creative expression.

Don't get me wrong this year I took on new challenges. I taught two classes on two campuses, I had the adjustment of a new baby. I had to reestablish my presence at work. Now it is time to balance the professional and the passion.

As I taught my business classes this semester, I attempted to impress upon my students that regardless of what they did it is the vision that matter. You must have the vision and follow it with the action. Well I need to practice what I preach. I have had the vision for a while now, but the action must match it. So I commit to myself to manifesting my passion.

Gone Too Soon

2015-01-04T14:52:00.001-05:00

Today is quiet. I am sitting in my childhood room, in my bed with my son, looking at the funeral of Officer Liu on television, reading the posts about Stuart Scott's passing from cancer and having an weird feeling of quiet at the similarities of both men to my father. My day died from a fierce battle of cancer at the young age of 50. Stuart Scott was 49. My dad was a court officer, less than 5 years on the job. He loved his job and his fellow officers loved him. Watching the funeral on TV reminded me so much of the NY court officers lined up down the hall and out to the street of my dad's funeral. My heart goes out to the families of both men. My heart goes out to my own family as I remember my father. It gets better as time goes on but you don't miss your loved ones any less.

Paradise Gained

2014-02-15T19:31:00.000-05:00

After close to three months of giving birth to my son, I have to say that I have found the man of my dreams! lol I am so I love with this little boy, it is beyond words. He has so much personality. He has a style and swagger that is recognizable even at two months old. He mesmerizes people. Even though he can't speak, I know we communicate and bond every moment we are together. It's amazing how God gives you what you want, when you need it. I prayed and visualized this baby boy for years.

After losing my parents, I didn't think I wanted to build a family only to face the risk of losing them. After a few years of feeling a certain emptiness, I have been blessed with a second miracle. Oh how I wish my parents could see this little prince. When I look into his face all I see is love and limitless potential. I wonder if this is how all parents feel when they look into their children's eyes.
Josiah is that piece of me that I was scared to acknowledge that has been reborn. He is the hope and dream of love that came true. He is restoration for a small piece of my soul.

My Baby Boy

2013-10-25T23:29:00.001-04:00

So on the eve of my baby shower, I am reflecting on the journey thus far. The biggest turn as been the realization that my intuition was correct and he is a Boy!

I put images of my little prince on my vision board a long time ago. Now knowing that I am weeks away from his arrival, I am getting a little nervous. Raising a black prince in this world we live in is not easy. I pray that I am rightly guided to teach him what he needs to know.

In the meantime I celebrate him.

Growing Adventure

2013-08-19T21:50:00.004-04:00

Even though I have been a mother for over ten years, something about this pregnancy scares me. I'm not worried about the baby being healthy or being able to take care of my new little girl. I know how to feed, dress and bathe her. I have an idea of what schools to send her to and where to take her for medical care. But what really scares me, is this time I KNOW... I don't have the excuse of saying "I didn't know because I'm a new mom." I know how certain movies and music may affect her. I know that her dad and I are a model for the relationships he will grow up to have. I know the affects of my decisions will give her certain questions and feeling later on. As I move into the pre-teen stage with my ten year old, I see how what I didn't know is translating into her thoughts and ideas. I'm of saying that she is emotionally crippled or mentally traumatized by the choices I made when she was baby. I am saying that now that I know better I can do better.

Today I had a sonogram and saw my little one bending and contorting herself in every way he could in my belly, seeming just as happy and content as she could be. All I could do was laugh and smile because it's she's not even officially in this world and yet she is already doing her thing, entertaining herself and exploring even in the confines of my womb. She is an adventurer, a mover and a shaker (literally LOL) and I couldn't be more happy. It is my job to keep her that way. To keep her aware but afraid of this world. It is my charge to nurture her, and at the same time, give her the room to grow. It is my job to expand and change for both of my girls and give them what I have while they simultaneously mold me as a mother.

When I looked at that monitor and saw that my baby girl wasn't afraid and was in a perfect space at this moment in time, then I stopped being afraid. I am who I am supposed to be at this moment in time for both of my girls. I have given them what I have and what I could give when I had it to give. I am a mother. An ever -changing, learning, growing, mother and my baby girl reminded me of that today.

"If you can't be positive, at least be silent."

2013-08-15T21:07:00.000-04:00

Over the past weeks, I have lamented over some things happening in my life. I came home tonight, ready to relax just as I always do, hoping to find a quiet place to relax and fall asleep. I turned on Joel Osteen and he said "If you can't be positive, at least be silent."

Trying to work through the pain of betrayal and disappointment, I had been speaking about to my friends about what I'm going through. But Joel reminded me that the power of life ad death is in the tongue. In seeking comfort, I actually brought melancholy into my mind and spirit, overlooking the miracles and blessings that surround me every day. My darkest moments have been the birthing ground for my greatest victories. Imani and her little sister are my life changing blessings and accomplishments in the midst of trouble. I am thankful to God for the word that he is given me this night. I needed the renewal of my spirit and mind and the reminder that I HAVE to speak faith and love into my life. He has sustained me through it all and I know HE will continue to do so. Like the phoenix rises out of the ashes, in the same way will I lift my thoughts out of the darkness and profess life and love from my mouth.

So It's Girl!!

2013-08-11T19:41:00.002-04:00

The prospect of having a new miniature version of myself, it exciting lol. My first baby girl likes looking good, but hates to shop. She prefers karate over dance and zombies instead of love stories. (Maybe she not totally a miniature version of me LOL) In any event, maybe this little one will share my love of shoes and own the stage (like her mother did once upon a time!) As I wrap my head around the fact that I will be bringing another beautiful African American woman into this world, I draw on the knowledge and experiences that I shared with my mother. I really wish she was here to be part of this process with me. I try to tell my daughter about her but it's just not the same. God has blessed me with sorors, family and friends who surround my girls and I with love and loyalty and I couldn't ask for better women in my life. So as I get closer and closer to the moment of her arrival, I prepare in the way that I only I know how. I buy shoes!! My diva #2 is going to fierce on the runway just like her big sister and mommy! LOL Stay tuned to lil' miss thang's shoe game :)

Foundation for the Future

2013-07-21T11:04:00.000-04:00

I don't know if I can call it writer's block. It's more like my voice has been temporarily silenced as I work through my journey. It's hard to share what you don't know how to express. This year will literally birth joy and pain. Either way I am blessed with the experience. But, how do you explain the pain behind your smile or the joy behind your tears when you only feel it and don't quite understand it? For the first time in a long time, I don't know what my plan is. I am taking it day by day. I can't see the vision of my end goal and although it doesn't scare me, I am not comforted by this state.

I am having a baby, without my mother. How do you do that? How do you become a mother without your mother? I truly can't describe this space and in many ways I can't fathom it. It can be a lonely process because no once can fill the space of my mom. So although I travel my journey faithfully I am not sure I walk with confidence. In my attempt to understand what is going on inside of me, I will chronicle the remainder of my pregnancy, starting on July 29th when I find out the sex of my baby. Then I can speak to my little person and maybe through our conversations I will find some clarity.

Reborn

2012-04-05T09:54:00.000-04:00

As the weather begins to turn and I look forward to another spring and summer, I have mixed emotions. I am always excited about being out in warm summer nights, the energy of the city, all the events going on and of course... my birthday celebration. However, this will be my first life celebration without either one of my parents. It will also mark the first anniversary of the passing of my mother and best friend. Every morning I wake up thankful and with much cause to be happy. When I think about that fact that one day my mom literally just did not wake up, I fight the urge to allow my chest muscles to tighten and just breathe. You here about those things in the news or CSI episodes, but never did I imagine something so unexplainable and unfathomable would happen to someone I love so dearly.

This last 10 months have been an exercise in faith, trust, release, and acceptance. Proud at the fact that I am able to wake up and smile over what I have while still hurting over what I've lost, I feel more alive than I ever have. When I look at other people who wake up angry and discontent over trivial things or ego driven acts of control, I am no longer upset. I can only feel pity. I know they will feel the appreciation for what they have today, only when it's gone tomorrow. If they only knew...

I don't claim to be some enlightened guru. I am working through my journey every day, but I am proud of the journey. I wear my scars, my hurt, my passion, my happiness and my desires as easily as a new pair of shoes. I accept where I am today, knowing that as I know better I will continue to do better. I no longer allow people to steal my joy or dictate my emotions and in so doing, I find that the universe has gladly provided me with the things and people that bring constant smiles to my face.

Speak to me

2012-01-05T23:37:00.001-05:00

A poem came to me today and it goes a little something like this:

Today the universe spoke to me
It I heard promise and hope
My spirit has been recognized
Validation is mine
Mr. Could be Right is knocking at my door
Mr. Never Been Right is the same evermore
Mrs. Know Your Place is still lost
Ms. Second place is always lurking behind corners
But I am here
Better
Stronger
Wiser
More Lovely than ever before
What's my name?

Putting in Work

2012-01-04T16:44:00.003-05:00

The funny thing about having a dream is that you have to put in the work to make it a reality, even when you don't see anything happening. What makes it even harder is that the people around you are watching, eagerly awaiting your failure with as much enthusiasm as celebrating your potential success.

Everyone has to pay dues and sacrifice certain comforts to get what they want. I am no exception. I am early in this process and I find myself getting frustrated more than I expected but it's all good. Successful do what others are not willing to do (or so they say).

Today's post has been my personal self-motivation session. For all the friends, family and sisters I have, sometimes I still need an intimate cheering section. So intimate in fact that it's just me. So my internal voice is pushing me forward in my pursuits of the vision.

The Evolution Of...

2012-01-03T15:47:00.002-05:00

The Mirriam-Webster Dictionary defines Evolution as

"a process of continuous change from a lower, simpler, or worse to a higher, more complex, or better state : growth (2) : a process of gradual and relatively peaceful social, political, and economic advance"

We are ever-evolving, ever-changing beings. Life is a process and a journey. I am sure we have heard this before but to really grasp the concept of managing (as much as is in your control) your journey through life and always maintaining the attitude of gratitude is a HUGE.

Anywho, I have committed to writing an entry every day to document the process of designing my shoes and the concept of evolution came to mind. I started out just with a love, documenting the shoes that I had or wanted to purchase. The stories turned into this blog, which is my external self therapy. The blog turned into the Facebook page with a challenge of finding the most visually stimulating shoes that I could find. The Facebook page planted a seed that I could somehow make a living out of my love for shoes. The seed has begun to sprout and I am now practicing my sketching techniques to put my shoe vision on paper.

It's amazing how something can manifest out of nothing in such a short period of time. Creation is a beautiful thing! Even though I have only been sketching a few days, you can see the evolution of my drawing. The first shoe looked like something my 8-year old daughter would color and my latest designs are actually starting to look like a shoe that I would put on my feet (because you know I have discerning taste! lol).

So (Raising my imaginary glass) Here is to the Evolution of Lauren C. Liburd and My Souls (Soles) Delight!!!

Building

2012-01-02T13:10:00.001-05:00

Today's thought is all about construction and building. Taking elements from my thoughts and experiences and creating something new and beautiful.

I chose this bootie because the lines are clean, the structure is solid, the colors and form are simple yet elegant. I feel like this the stage in which I am. On my road to doing what has been done but in only a way in which I can do it, I am starting from scratch. Teaching mysely how to sketch, studying designers and all types of shoes, I am a student of the craft. I look forward to developing new skills and refining my eye.

Work In Progress...

New Beginnings

2012-01-01T22:43:00.001-05:00

On this first day of the year, everyone is very optimistic about the promise of 2012. I am no exception. This will be my first year without my ace (Mom) and my rock (Dad). I don't feel alone, but I am stepping out to manifest the passions within. Life should be a celebration of freedom, purity and joy. Rather than make a resolution, I choose to follow my goal of turning my life into my own celebration.

When my parents died, I cried but not for long. Through faith and love I know they have transcended this world are ever present with our higher power. I can't be sad about that. It brings me more than comfort to know they are at peace, it makes me happy. I am part of their purpose and I hope that I can touch lives as powerfully as they have.

Chasing a Dream - Day 1: Proverbs 29:18

2011-12-29T11:31:00.002-05:00

Brian Tracy said, "Goals in writing are dreams with deadlines."Keeping with this mantra, I will chronicle my journey to my dreams. One of the jewels that I have gotten out of my personal development reading is the idea that you must take action to achieve your goals. Even the smallest steps taken consistently every day will bring forth an outcome. (As will taking no step at all)

To begin this chronicle, I have started with a focus on the vision. The Bible says "Where there is no vision, the people perish" (Proverbs 29:18) What is my vision? In order to clearly see what I want, I need to remove the fear and doubt. The best way that I could figure how to do this was to find out who had already done what I am trying to do and understand what they did to get there.

Step 1 - RESEARCH

So I researched African American Shoe designers and found a great article which inspired me and left clues to what I need to do next. http://madamenoire.com/107925/9-african-american-shoe-designers-you-should-know/ The article does not go into great detail but it highlights successful designers and gives faces and names to the people that have what I want. I've been told, in order to have what successful people have, you must be willing to do what successful people have done. So I have identified the people and now I can find out what they did to get where they are.

This first step has also helped to remove my fear. If others have done it, so can I. I know that may sound cliche, but I am strong believer in the talent and passion that I have been blessed with and I know these things have been bestowed on me for a reason and a purpose.

The vision has given me the foundation on which to stand and I can lace up my boots and take the next step.

Embarking on a Dream

2011-12-28T15:34:00.000-05:00

It's funny how we are called upon to decide our future at an early age, when we know little about who we are and what we want (at least that seems to be the case for most people). With each year that passes, I gain more clarity as to what it is I really want to do with my life and I am a ripe age of 31! LOL I must admit that it is a lot easier to take the traditional, cookie-cutter route and follow paths that have already been paved. The road is much smoother and somewhat easier to navigate.

At the encouragement of my godfather, who is an erie mix of my mother and father, I am obsessed with pursuing my dream of having my own shoe line. Why would I do such a crazy thing now? I have a decent job, a house, a child, I'm back in school... everything in my life seems to be moving along rather smoothly. So why stir it up with a brand new project? I honestly don't know. It just feels like the right thing to do.

I can't deny that I am a little freaked out at the idea of moving into uncharted territory. What makes matters worse is with the advent of technology, and chick in cyberspace can create a blog, facebook page and twitter accout about her love for shoes just as I have. So what is going to make The Soles Delight different?
How will my shoes stand out from the rest? Will people even like what I design? (I don't think this should be a problem because I do have great taste lol).... Will I succeed?

The fact that I am getting nervous about this shows that I am serious. This passion is moving from a hobby to a calling and the question is will I answer. I don't think I have a choice in the matter. If I don't follow my passion, I may lose sight of my purspose. So here goes....

Decking the halls

2011-12-23T20:27:00.001-05:00

I dont believe in santa anymore
my presents extend beyond the tree
The reality of life has threatened to steal my shine
my joy flows abundantly

My passion is my purpose
my heart is not contained in this body
being purified by the fire
my only choice is to sing

More like me

2011-12-22T14:08:00.001-05:00

I don't usually get dressed up for work that often. The long island suburbs don't provide me with the same level of style inspiration that was abundant in midtown Manhattan. Nonetheless today i felt like doing something different and adding a little style to an otherwise mundane workday.

Declaration of Joy

2011-12-21T15:19:00.001-05:00

This has been an extremely challenging year for me. However the beauty of the challenge is in the triumph. I am still here. I am so greatful for all the wonderful people in my life and not to sound boastful but I am greatful for who I am. Many people would truly crumble under the weight of greiving not one but both parents in a span of 5 months. Although I do miss them imensely my spirit it joyful for them both. I know JonEvelyn Gainey and Lester C. Liburd are in heaven at peace in the presence of our heavenly Father. What more could I want? I do long to hear there voices and see their faces again but I am so comforted by the relationships we had and so proud of the people they are. I am Lauren Courtney Liburd because of them. :-)

So although I get lonely and may even start to ask why things happened the way they did, I can't help but smile every day because I am here. My family is strong my loved ones are present in my life. My friends are abundant and my prayers are heard. I am here. So I look forward to the adventures of 2012. I embrace the gift of life and love and declare with joy that.... I AM HERE.

I Am Here

2011-10-20T12:58:00.000-04:00

I am a boisterous river

I am a mountains story

I am a quiet feeling

I am a fragrant flower

I am a moonlit evening

I am a peaceful night

I am a writers thinking

I am a wealth unfathomed

And if you don’t recognize my presence, I am here

And if you don’t recognize me, I am here

I am a source of power

I am excited journey

I am the rock of patience

I am a whisper singing

I am unbridled freedom

I am the thought from thinking

I am a love unshattered

I am the great orgasm

And if you don’t recognize my presence, I am here

And even if you don’t recognize me, I‘m still here

And even if you don’t recognize me

And even if you don’t recognize me, I‘m still here

And even if you don’t recognize me, I am, oh, I’m still here

Even if you don’t recognize me, I’m here, I’m here, I’m here

- Jill Scott

It's Time...

2011-08-14T14:19:00.000-04:00

I haven't really felt like writing much lately. My heart just hasn't been in it. Even though I obviously look at shoes, I have not had the heart to totally indulge in my passion in a while. I guess sometimes when you lose something special to you, it makes everything seem lessened. I do miss my mother so very much. I would love to hear her voice again. But I can speak to her, I will allow her love to speak through me until I find my own voice again.

I chose these Louboutin boots because I think reflect this place in my life. The look like remenants of spring with bloom and blossom, but black and cold, wrapped in an elegant package. This season can still be worn with style. These boots reflect my current state of being. I am enjoying my life and having fun the way I should but I am also mourning the loss of beauty and friendship, long conversations and laughter. I feel like me but a little more hollow, not quite comepletely full.

It's hard to press forward sometimes, it may take putting on a new pair of shoes to remember where you've been and remind you of where you're going.

Walking on Air Between Heaven and Earth

2011-07-12T23:32:00.000-04:00

This weekend I went skydiving and it was amazing. I felt as though I was literally floating among the clouds. Time stood still a for a moment I experienced pure joy. I the was my first experience of pure positive white light since my mother passed away two weeks ago. I could feel her and I felt like I was getting a view of the world from her perspective. I spoke of her with my instructor during my entire decent back down to earth.

I can't begin to describe the range of feelings and emotions I have had over the last two weeks. I hear her voice and I see her face. Last night I started texting her and was heart broken when I realized she wasn't going to answer back (at least not in that way). I miss her in a way I have never known possible, and yet I feel like I am never alone. She is always with me. I didn't expect to know life without her until I was old an gray. She was my best friend.

I chose this Brian Atwood shoe for this post because it is simple, yet sassy, sexy yet classy... just like my mother. She was beautiful in every way.

Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet white doves in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.