The Somethingorothers

Pretending I Still Use This Blog

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Fri, 11 May 2007 17:54:00 +0000

Wow, I must not care about this thing at all anymore. Well, most things troupe-related have fallen off, to be honest. I'm trying to get things going again with some new material, but we'll see how that goes.

We were in Orillia on the 4th of May for their comedy festival. The short of the evening can be found in the following point-form list:

- we performed at two places that were strictly restaurants, and two places that were mostly bars
- references to Dungeons and Dragons don't work in Orillia
- references to the NDP, even if they aren't jokes in themselves, do work

It was a strange night. At best, it was carefree, and at worst, a little humiliating. It was great fun to sit around drinking with the other troupes (The Boiled Wieners, Ms. Chickaburns and our favourite troupe, Approximately 3 Peters) and the drive back was nice. I wasn't as loaded as I should have been when I got back to my room at 4:30 on Saturday morning. This is either because I didn't really drink very much or because I'm about to develop a horrible, horrible drinking problem. Either way, I'm going to have trouble getting a mortgage.

Anyway, we're headed to Sketchfest Montreal in a week. We'll be blowing the doors, windows, and toilets out of Theatre Ste. Catherine at 8pm on May 18th. We've pulled some stuff off of the website in preparation. We have some locals coming out to see us, and we want to milk some of the older material. We don't want people in Montreal seeing it beforehand. This, very likely, would not happen anyway, but I like to feel clever every few days, and this idea was my best this week.

I have new baseball glove. Thedude and I patronized a Toronto sporting goods establishment, and wandered out with Demarini Voodoo softball gloves. Mine is almost broken in after a game of catch-ball and some oil. Instead of mink oil, I trapped a mink, and bound it up inside the glove. It was justifiably terrified, so it was sweating like crazy. The natural oils from the fur made the glove more supple. I suppose I didn't have to squeeze the little guy so hard, but I wanted to make sure the pocket was as soft as possible to absorb any screaming line drives I may encounter. The mink's ultimate sacrifice was commemorated. Also, we came up a baseball sketch. Look for it June 5 at the Rivoli.

Mike

New stuff good

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Thu, 08 Mar 2007 23:01:00 +0000

Our set at the Rivoli on Tuesday went well. Many thanks to everyone who came out on a pretty cold night. We had a good time, and our friend Justin G. Landry (www.justinglandry.com) joined us for the first of what will hopefully be many appearances. From the sound of things, people like what we're doing - which makes me....well, if not happy, then definitely not quite as irritated as I normally am when I wake up every morning.

As for what's new, we've just finished a new audio bit, and we're shooting a new video. Vol. 4 of the TD Guide to Going Big is on the way, but Blake and Mitch will be shooting something in the next few weeks to tide us over. People are asking about the guys, which is pretty cool - we didn't know they'd be so popular. They knew, of course, and Mitch was "jacked, bra" when I told him about the interest. Then he tore the sleeves off of his shirt and ate three steaks. What a guy!

Mike

Radio and such

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Tue, 27 Feb 2007 01:32:00 +0000

Tune in to CIUT 89.5 FM for the Cap'n Dave Comedy Hour on Tuesday the 27th. We'll be playing a couple of new audio bits, as well as performing some stuff live. We've also got a surprise. Tune the hell in to find out what it is.

We have two new sketches ready for our set at the Rivoli next Tuesday. We're also doing our two new bits from last time, since there were four people at that show. If you haven't seen it, it's new to you.

Speaking of new, I just recorded the VO for a new Cadbury commercial. It's for their new Christ's Resurrection (sorry....Easter) candy - Popping Mini Eggs. On a side note, I love the Cadbury bunny. I enjoy the fact that he makes chicken sounds. Anyway, the commercial features the bunny hopping around a neighbourhood, leaving little baskets of candy on doorsteps. He hops to the end of the road, and observes as the mini eggs pop - blowing the doors off of houses, and destroying porches. I wonder if this commercial will air in the U.S., as the bunny is clearly a terrorist. I'm wondering what kind of reaction it'll get.

In case you're wondering, I don't make any more money if you eat the eggs. Still, you might as well enjoy them.

Mike

Next Week

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 19:07:00 +0000

On Tuesday, Jan 23rd, we're part of the Just For Laughs showcase at the Rivoli. We could use the chuckles, so come on out and scream for us. Help us impress the JFL rep. We'll pass the savings on to you. 9pm.

Why I've been so Quiet

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Tue, 16 Jan 2007 18:45:00 +0000

I have lost my life to Gears of War.

My girlfriend was awesome enough to drop Xbox 360 into my lap for my birthday, and Gears of War followed. Man, oh, man. Seriously. Man. Google it, and amaze yourself with the unanimous praise that has been heaped upon this game. Now, finally, Mike Kiss weighs in,

"Man. That's something,"

So, now it's mid-January, we finally have snow, and I'm (almost) out from under the game. It's freaking balls-out wicked, and you owe it to your thumbs to buy this game. Gears of War has one of the most immersive environments of any game I've ever played - one that conveys a feeling that things have been going badly for this world for a long time. Headshots, amusing banter between squadmates, and challenging firefights follow. Along with something called a chainsaw bayonet. Yes, that's right. If you can get in close to an enemy while armed with your assault rifle, you can crank up the bayonet and chew your foe to bits. The camera swoops in to catch the best possible angle - resulting in the "lens" becoming spattered with blood. It's a thousand times more awesome than you can imagine. My first experience with it produced an overjoyed, "Oh, yeeeeaaaah!" and I'll never get tired of it. So, play the game.

My holidays were fine. The best part was the drive to my parents' place in Manitouwadge. I passed this hilarious sign in Sault Ste. Marie. When Ivan says it's your LAST garage door, I think he means that he intends to kill you after he installs it.

We've been pretty lazy lately, but we've got some new videos to shoot, and new sketches on the way, so next month should see some progress.

Happy Everything

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 21:13:00 +0000

We've posted two new holiday videos in our media section (also on our myspace and youtube pages) so have a look and enjoy. You'll find a version of the Yuletide Log that fits better with what I remember around this time of year, and also a bit based on Dateline's To Catch a Predator.

Now - some of you may actually watch Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Not sure why you would. Kind of rots. But, anyway, we screened and posted this video the day after Studio 60 did a similar bit on their show. I didn't see their's, but I'm sure it represented the absolute pinnacle of comedy, filled as it must have been with cutting satire and the most current of pop culture references. It also must have involved Santa walking down an endless hallway for sixty seconds, chattering faster than a busted chainsaw. Because THAT is TV writing. Fuck it.

We did not steal that idea. If you want to talk about it and make your accusations in person, I'd be happy to steal your lungs from your chest with my bare hands. Then we'll see.

The we'll all see.

Mike.

Thanks

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 16:51:00 +0000

Our thanks to everyone who came out to the Gladstone last night. The show was sold out, and we learned that the maximum safe capacity of the room was 130. The crowd was great, and the performance was the best we've ever done. We'd made some changes to a couple of sketches to try to find their voices, and everything worked. Our new toy commercial for My Koala Princess needs a bit of work, but the concept was sound enough to get some laughs. We had great light cues from thedude, so we finally had the sudden endings that some of our sketches need.

In all, a great night. Neat atmosphere to the fest, too. I'll be taking in more comedy over the weekend. Can't wait to see The Williamson Playboys.

Festival, Go!

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Thu, 16 Nov 2006 21:36:00 +0000

So we're ready for our set at the Toronto Sketch Festival tonight. I guess I should say 'to-nite!' since it's an entertainment thing. The Gladstone is:

- *much* nicer than I remember. Honestly, it was a hideous hole the last time I was there.
- home to something called 'The Ploughman's Lunch,' which is something I doubt any badass ploughman would ever eat. Tiny pickled onions, cherry tomatoes, gerkhins, and cold pork with a baguette doesn't scream PLOUGHMAN to me.

Ran into The Imponderables whilst we ate, and the idea of a Olde-Tyme Porkwright was born. I'll see if I can't get it written first.

Not so much worried about tonight, as I am wishing we'd already performed. I always enjoy the feeling of having given a solid performance more than being on stage. And I hate these moments of thinking, "I'm running out of time," even though I don't have anything to do. I'm going to head back early to watch Approximately 3 Peters and Asiansploitation @ 7pm.

I need to find a sweater-vest for the show tonight. Why? Well, you'll have to come out, won't you?

Game One - when I was happy

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Wed, 08 Nov 2006 06:22:00 +0000

Myspace 2

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 01:17:00 +0000

Well, hell. We've got a damned thing on Myspace now. Why not be our friends?

www.myspace.com/somethingorothers

There's a new video, too. You won't find it here, so go have a look. I know I had a big pile of hate for myspace, and I still think it's a bit strange, but I'll be watching our page and posting some stupid pics there, as well. Also, have a look at our current friends and you may find a certain Mr. Overdrive. He was satisfied that we hadn't made a real hatchet job of his Guide to Going Big, so he'll be doing stuff on his page, too. Be careful, though. He doesn't like pussies. I'll post his comments later.

Mike

Gutted

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Sun, 29 Oct 2006 04:00:00 +0000

It's been over 24 hours, and I don't feel any better. All that World Series excitement...turned to shock. My stomach is still completely turned over the defensive performance of my beloved Tigers. I just can't believe how they played. Get rid of those errors, and it's a 3-2 Tigers lead, and I may be writing this after a final Game 6. When I think about how different my mood could be right now, it makes my brain hurt. I won't drone on and on about the series, or ask questions of the ether like so many blogging fans have done. What pains me most is that the biggest story of this magical season will be the worst defensive performance of any team in World Series history. And deservedly so. This series can have one of two effect:

1. It has shattered the confidence of Justin Verlander, Joel Zumaya, and Fernando Rodney - three guys who may be among the best pitchers in the game in a couple of years.
2. It'll have a galvanizing effect, and these guys will work their asses off to avoid repeating themselves.

And I feel terrible for Brandon Inge. I truly like the guy, and he's made some great plays at the hot corner all year. I hope he's not too down on himself for a couple of throwing errors. I'm sure he feels worse than I do. It's a good thing we're shooting comedy tomorrow!

I'm sure, in a few weeks, I'll be looking forward to the 2007 season. Still, I'm glad no one was here to see my reaction to the final out last night. Hardly my manliest moment. In closing, I'll fight anyone, anytime, anywhere.

Mike.

I'm sad

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Tue, 24 Oct 2006 04:05:00 +0000

THIS IS A COPY OF MY LATEST ENTRY ON http://roarof2006.blogspot.com/

I'm sad.

There's no way around that. The Tigers are even, heading to St. Louis, and I've never been more disappointed. We're the only people saying that Kenny Rogers is the victim of something. All the photos I've seen over the last two days haven't lead me to a conclusion, and I will NOT say that this man's season and playoff performance can be attributed to a little stickum on his hand. I WILL say that I think most NL pitchers try very hard to get some pine tar off of their bats following a plate appearance, and I think a large number of baseball's greatest pitching records have been shaped, in part, by ball-doctoring. I'll even go so far as to say that it's a lot harder to grip a baseball in 40 degree weather than it is to grip a bat, so either let a pitcher help himself out, or get rid of pine tar completely. And - even though I know what the stuff looks like - I can't say for sure that Kenny had anything illegal on his hand.

Here it comes.

However, I can say that I find it impossible to believe that it was dirt, or that anything could be on his pitching hand (for the third time in as many starts, if I'm to believe the photos) without him knowing about it. Judging from the way Kenny mowed them down last night after he'd cleaned his hands, I still feel safe in saying that we're where we are without the aid of a little pine tar. But, I know what I'm feeling inside, and it isn't the pure pride I felt last week. I don't believe Kenny's word on this, and I'm afraid that this will be the story of the series. If I were to say that it's all crap, and FOX and ESPN were just trying to make some news, I'd be trying too hard.

Nothing has been conclusively proven, and neither the Cardinals nor MLB have a problem with the way the incident was handled. A guy was asked to wash his hands and he did. Then, he pitched a masterpiece. So why do I feel so strange?

Baseball history is full of suspected cheats, and Kenny Rogers must now be added to that list. Some might call me naive. I'm not. I think I just love the game more than I love this team. And I'm worried that a smudge will become a stain.

Bury 'em, fellas, so no one can throw this back at you.

Put simply, wahoo.

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 21:12:00 +0000

You damn right. This is a ticket to Game One of the 2006 Major League Baseball World Series at Comerica Park in Detroit. That, friends, is my left thumb. Clearly, I am in possession of this ticket. I found a good (well...) deal on stubhub.com and now I have a ticket. It's a Ticketfast printable ticket, but Stubhub has quite the guarantee and reputation, so I feel confident about its validity.

I have never been this excited in my entire life. Not when I broke 200 kph in Arizona. Not when I found out I hadn't broken my foot at the gym that one time. Not when I heard that they can make carbon nanotubes a metre in length. I, Mike, am going to see my guys play in the World Series.

A week or so ago, I made a comment on Nate Robertson's Gum Time. (naterobertson.mlblogs.com) It was spotted by a fellow Tiger fan who runs The Roar of 2006 - a collaborative fan blog. He asked me to contribute, and I instantly accepted. In order to get this blog back on the comedy track, I may post Tigers-related entries there over the next week or so. Have a look - click on this for the link.

A few bits may end up here, as well. I'm just that happy. Troupe news coming soon. I hope you guys all plan to check us out at the festival in November.

Mike

Ticketbastard

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 16:15:00 +0000

Monday - 09:59:57

Mike logs on to Ticketmaster.com to select tickets for game 2 of the World Series in Detroit.

10:00:02

Mike logs on to Ticketmaster.com with his laptop on another wireless network to select tickets for game 6 of the World Series

10:14:21

Mike is told he has a ticket for game 2. He is pleased, as his strategy of avoiding the rush for game 1 appears to have worked.

10:14:23

Mike selects email delivery to ensure he has his tickets.

10:14:25

Mike begins filling in his info. He has 60 seconds before his ticket is released. He selects "email delivery" to ensure that his tickets arrive in time. After entering his credit card info and muttering, "I can't fucking believe this is happening," he finds that the "country" field under "billing info" is locked. Apparently, if you want your tickets emailed, you have to live in the United States. Quickly backtracking, Mike changes his delivery choice, then re-enters his credit card number, only to find that his session has timed out. Mike looks quickly to his laptop, and finds that his browser has lost his data and is no longer refreshing. Having lost his game 2 ticket, and any chance at a game 6 ticket, Mike hears a crack. He looks down to his hands to see that the remote to his office television has somehow been crushed to pieces.

10:26:00

All games are sold out.

10:26:30

Mike adds Ticketmaster to "The List"

Oh eeeeeeee oh....MAAAAAGGLIO!

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Sun, 15 Oct 2006 04:28:00 +0000

Why are you looking for it, Huston Street? Didn't you hear the JACK! sound? It's gone, chief.

"The Detroit Tigers are going to the World Series," Craig Monroe said. "Oh, my God. We're going to the World Series."

There is now a 37% chance that my firstborn son will be named Magglio. Don't tell my dad. He won't even know what Magglio means. I went for my rally chew with the score 3-0 in the bottom of the 5th. I had the pack open when Curtis Granderson drove home Brandon Inge, and threw in the chew one pitch before Craig Monroe brought Granderson in to score. My jaw was pretty numb, and I hadn't had dinner yet when Magglio hit his first homer (a rocket) to tie the game at three, and I went fucking insane when he hit his three run jack in the bottom of the ninth to win. The only person jumping higher was Placido Polanco as he approached third.

After I had finally stopped laughing and with my shoulders burning from punching at the air, I decided to celebrate with some chow mein, beer, and a Snickers bar. I must have watched the walkoff homer twenty times on the PVR. Then, I listened to Ernie Harwell narrate "Baseball Is..." and found some Tiger vids on Youtube. World Series tickets go on sale at 9am on Monday. I'll be logging in, trying to get one. It'll be $250, but that seems like a dime to me right now. I cannot explain what it would mean to me to be there. Few people know how big a baseball fan I am. I have some nice things to talk about, but I'll save those for the big dance. Win or lose, I'll explain why I love the Tigers so much. And also likely rip into specific comments I've heard this year about how the whole thing was crap, and they'd never get anywhere. My guess is that in a couple of weeks, you'll be able to stick your head out the window all over North America and hear soft moaning and scraping. That, friends, will be the
collective sound of millions of baseball fans shoving it.

We're all behind our baseball team,
go get 'em Tigers!
World Series bound and picking up steam,
go get em Tigers!
There'll be joy in tigertown,
we'll sing you songs,
when the bengals bring the pennant home,
where it belongs.
We're all behind our baseball team,
go get em,
Detroit Tigers,
go get em Tigers!

Rrrrrrrooooooaaaaaaaar!

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Sun, 08 Oct 2006 16:03:00 +0000

I'm trying to avoid using the blog for non-comedy reasons, but the Tigers just destroyed the Yankees, so I've thrown my efforts into the crapper. This is awesome. This is an heretofore unreached level of awesome. I was not yet seven years old during the "Bless You, Boys" run in 1984, and all I truly remember are some images, the city of Detroit being happy for once, and thinking - even as a boy - that something was incredible about the Tigers' 35-5 start. At my age now, I don't get very excited about pro sports. I knew, however, when Detroit finally looked like they had the pitching we'd been waiting for since 1987, that I was as excited about baseball as I'd ever been. This is the last link to my sports-loving childhood days. I've seen my other teams win, but no other has meant as much to me as the Detroit Tigers. The reasons are manifold, and I have too many memories to list. The five-game skid at the end of this season was a shock to us fans, but the pitching never really collapsed, so we knew we were still in it. Then our guys face (possibly) the best-hitting lineup in baseball history in a best-of-five. The Yanks win big in game one, but I thought that could happen. The "if" is very popular in sports prognostication. I said to myself after game 1, "IF Justin Verlander is on his game, he could shut the Yanks down. IF that happens, and IF Kenny Rogers realizes he may not get another chance and decides he has something to prove, he'll be fine against the Big Unit, who just isn't himself anymore. IF Bondo has his command in game four, they could win this thing." I've never had all my ifs work out before. If any Yankee fans are reading, first of all, I'd like to congratulate you on going way out on a limb and supporting a team with 8 all-stars and a $200 million payroll. You're very brave. Second, your guys didn't just choke. They choked on Tiger pitching. Period.

This is the most fun I've ever had watching sports. I feel like a kid, and I already know that if these boys manage to win everything, I will surely weep. The stories coming out of town - Verlander eating candy bars during games, Nate Robertson's blog, Gum Time!, Curtis Granderson's $19 shoes, everything Todd Jones does, apparently - speak of a great bunch of guys who are having fun with the game. The team coming back out onto the field and spraying champagne onto the crowd was something I've never seen and won't soon forget.

I'm glad the city of Detroit has something to be happy about. Baseball helped heal that city in 1968, and I'm hoping it can help again this year.

RESTORE THE ROAR!

In closing, Screw:

- A-Rod
- Jeter
- Joe Torre
- Johnny Damon
- The City, County, and State of New York
- Famous Ray's Pizza
- Original Famous Ray's Pizza
- The Statue of Liberty
- Everything east of Lake Erie

Yikes

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Wed, 04 Oct 2006 21:24:00 +0000

So our set at the Rivoli last night pretty much died. The crowd seemed stone cold when we went on. We were trying out some new material, so it may have just sucked, but I honestly don't think that was the problem. The crowd grew and warmed up in the second half, but too late for us.

I think the last time we had that little response was a year ago, when we had just started. I'll have to write harder, I guess. And hate the crowd a little more. Either way, I'll need more whiskey.

Next Tuesday should be a great night if anyone is interested. It's a showcase for the Aspen Comedy Festival, so the best local acts will be there. And also us. We're only doing 10 minutes, but come out if you can.

Mike

Myspace

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Thu, 28 Sep 2006 18:01:00 +0000

Fuck Myspace. Honestly. If you're 15 (can't drive, and dad pays your phone bill) or if you're a band, I guess it makes some sense. You don't have any other way to share your meaningless interests/show dates with strangers, so this serves as a platform.

I have a page. I put one up after a friend suggested I do so. (un)Luckily, I was working on two hours of sleep, so I didn't argue. I like typing, so I typed for a while, and before I knew it, I had a Myspace page. Why do I feel this is ridiculous? Because I am a grown-ass man. I barely care about the friends I have, so why would I give a Capital Shit about people who just want another webcam customer?

I guess Myspace is a decent tool for self-promotion, but I still think the whole thing can fuck right off. The troupe will have a page soon, I think, but it will essentially direct people to our actual website - complete with reliable data streams and not-entirely-shit wallpaper.

To all you camgirls: Leave me alone, you hookers. Only three of you are hot, and you have a much lower framerate than real naked women.

To bands I don't know: I'm not going to add you, as I absolutely do not care about your next show. You very, very, very likely suck.

To people who add folks like Tina Fey to your friends list: Stop doing this. Honestly, how silly is that? No, honestly. Honestly, how silly is that? Please.

To anyone who wants to tell me how assholes like Dane Cook have become popular thanks to shit like Myspace: Just cram it. The first guy who made the wheel was a bigger hit than the fifteenth guy, and that guy probably impressed his friends.

Not sure why I'm so mad about this.

Mike

Movie Night!

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 22:55:00 +0000

The final Tuesday of every month is Video Night at The Rivoli. Few local producers of comedy shorts are able to secure a solid venue for exhibition, so these nights are a chance to see some of what's happening on camera. The doors open at 9pm, as usual, and admission is PWYC. Attendance at these nights could use a boost, so we'd love it if some of you could swing by and have chuckle. There's a box of candy popcorn on every table.

We're contributing MSN Messenger in History 2 : The Plagues of Egypt, and The ThunderDrive Guide to Going Big Vol. 3: Big Hygiene. Also on the bill are,

"bugs" by winston spear
"scenarios" by nathan fielder
"wish dreamer" by craig macnaughton & mise-en-chien productions
"the mcpassion" by benjamin hershleder & rik swatzwelder
"commander rob: peace treaty" by jesse lachapelle
"the making of gladiator" by duncan beedie
"mr t vs. speak n spell" by aaron merke

Mike says he'll be there, and someone else might show up, too. Well?

Aaaaarrrrrr!

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 03:56:00 +0000

Ahoy, me hearty lasses and buckos! Grab yer monkey jackets and duffles! T'is International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

http://www.talklikeapirate.com/

If ye be a lillylivered addlepate, ye best be shovin' off 'afore I fly the red flag, and send ye to Davy Jones! But - if ye be a salty sea dog, here be some thin's ye can do on this day

- Polish the Charlie Noble
- Hornswaggle a tar merchant
- avast!
- tend the Futtock Shrouds on the Mizzen
- give some Blaggard a taste o' the cat
- Have a Black Jack of bumboo, or a Hogshead, if ye be salty.

Me and the other Somethin'r'others be meetin' at the Bedford Academy to tend to new sketches. Join us, and we'll split the mainbrace! But ye had better be speakin' like a Pirate. If ye choose to abstain from Pirate Talk, scupper that, ye poxy Bilge-Sucker! And steer clear of me, or I'll club yer head with a holystone, and see you dance the Hempen Jig!

Yer matie,
Bloody Flint Bilebeard

Recap

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Mon, 18 Sep 2006 05:05:00 +0000

Comedy Combo #2 at The Second City went well enough. We answered a couple of questions re: a few sketches, and had a good time. The best part of the day was a duo called The Williamson Playboys. Absolutely outstanding. Maybe the best thing I've ever seen. Find them, and check them out. If you're disappointed, you should probably kill yourself.

The setup is that they're the world's oldest father and son singing/comedy duo, at 141 and 165 years. They've written over 70,000 songs, and have been ripped off as many times. They're hilarious.

Mike

Steve Irwin

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 16:43:00 +0000

I generally avoid entertainment "news" but I've been reading a little about the death of Steve Irwin. Apparently, he accidentally cornered a stingray, and was stabbed through the heart with its poisonous barbed tail. PETA has condemned Irwin posthumously, saying that he made a living out of antagonizing frightened animals - not something that should be encouraged in his fans. I thought, "yeah, that's a good point, but he also went a long way to counteract the villification of certain animals,"

How many idiots actually think that animals murder people? I'd guess more than a few.

Then, I read that nearly dozen stingrays have recently been found dead in Australia, their barbs cut off. Wildlife officials suspect revenge attacks by Steve Irwin fans. I cannot express how stupid I think this is. This is even worse than hunters going into the woods to kill a bear who has mauled someone. The bear, at least, may remember that he's just roughed up a hiker. I just hate stupid people. Just absolutely hate them.

Mike

Sunday Show

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 16:34:00 +0000

We're opening the show on the 17th @ Second City, and it looks like a great lineup. We haven't seen a couple of the other troupes, but they have solid reputations, so we're looking forward to some new laughs.

We're doing three sketches, all of which have been done before. So, if you can't laugh at the same thing twice, stay home. The three sketches we're doing involve

1. A high school drama club delivering a terrible warning
2. Boxes
3. Some kind of elixr.

Fairly warned ye be, says I.

Mike

WorldCon 64

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Sat, 09 Sep 2006 17:58:00 +0000

Here's my summary of WorldCon 64.

I've already had some people ask me how the Star Trek convention was. This is a good way to start me swinging. So, here's the clarification.

The World Science Fiction Convention was first held in New York City in 1939. The WorldCon is conducted, essentially, by the World Science Fiction Society (WSFS). The membership of the World Science Fiction Society is defined as the membership of the upcoming Worldcon, so joining that Worldcon is the only way to join WSFS. The Society is not a private organization, and is not run in a for-profit manner. It is simply a group of readers, fans, and industry professionals who get together every year to talk about the genre, as well as how science is changing society (and how science fiction literature reflects or influences that change) I've met cancer researchers, astronomers, physicists, animal shelter operators, writers, engineers, and artists at these things. Of course, most of these people don't get much attention from the public, who choose instead to focus on the few of us who happen to be wearing wizard cloaks.

By the way - most people look like damned idiots on Hallowe'en. The only difference is that this community picked our own day to wear hats. We watch the documentary Trekkies and shake our heads just as vigorously as anyone else.

So what do we do at the convention? I'll describe what I did at this one, and that'll give you an idea.

Day 1

Panel discussions: Great First Lines, The Future of Journalism, Character Vs. Plot, Do We Need a New Definition of Literacy. The evening was dinner with a friend and various parties at the hotel. The quote of the day came from Connie Willis (please read To Say Nothing of the Dog) when someone asked the panel if they ever had a character wander in an undesired direction. Margaret Wander Bonanno said that this happens to her on occasion. Connie stated with conviction, "They are your characters. They do what you tell them to do," resulting in solid applause from this guy right here. I never understood that crap.

Day 2

Panels: Creating Believable Aliens, Politics in SF, Writing SF for Television and Movies, 2081 - The Remake, Changing Human Nature, Politics, the Internet, and the Future (good one). I was, once again, warned away from the Writers of the Future party in the evening. The Writers of the Future Award is given out overy year by some shoddily-disguised members of the Church of Scientology. Good (shitty) Old L. Ron Hubbard still has his fans, and they try to recruit at Cons. The problem is this - we've all read good science fiction, so we can't stomach the bad. That's what their faith is, so we're generally not interested. Here's a flyer from the Con - no one officially takes responsibility, but give me a break. There were plenty of other parties, anyway. With cookies and beer. So I was content. Quote of the day: "I just don't know how the hell you keep the wealthy out of politics." John Scalzi, commenting on the sociopolitical structure in Heinlein's Starship Troopers, where only those who perform civil (usually military) service were allowed to vote and participate politically.

Day 3

Panels: The Future of Medicine, World Government, 21st Century Physics, Nanotechnology, Creating Language. Hung out with the guys tonight, talking about how we like all the best TV shows, and they're always cancelled. This was the night of the WorldCon Masquerade. I skipped the show this year, as it usually runs very long. Some of these costumes are made by professionals, and it really shows. I'm sorry I missed a selection of characters from one of the best children's shows on TV - Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. I saw the pictures of the costumes the next morning. Wow. A great Blue, and a terrific Eduardo. If you know those characters. Great show. Chicago seems to be the favourite now to host the 2008 Con. We'll see. The Columbus bid had great cake, though.

Quote of the day: "Some things are just going to be used before we really understand their effects. I mean, we still don't really know why Aspirin works." Mark Olson, discussing nanomedicines.

Day 4

Panels: Is "Realistic" Fantasy an Oximoron (helpful for the novel I'm working on) The Implications of Global Warming, Mistakes Future Historians Will Make About Our Time, The Renaissance in Hard SF, Death of the Book, and also a great hour with Harlan Ellison.

This was Ellison's last convention, and I'm very happy I had the chance to hear him. A very entertaining man, and the ultimate "Magnificent Bastard", Harlan has written some beautiful work in his life, and has also done some crazy things. I wanted to get a book signed, but so did everyone else, and I didn't want to wait for three hours. The Hugo Awards went tonight - I skipped out to meet up with an old friend in Van Nuys. Nice new house, and cute new baby. Grilled Carne Asada and beer were fine substitutes for literary awards. The Hugos are voted on by members of the convention, so the winners, though sometimes controversial, are almost always representative. This year's winner for Best Novel was local author Robert Charles Wilson for his novel, Spin. His first win, but certainly not his first great book. Denver will host the 2008 WorldCon. You won't have to twist my arm to get me back to Colorado. Don't think I'll drive this time, though. Or maybe......

The climate change panel was great. The panel was: Dr. Gregory Benford (author and physicist) Kim Stanley Robinson (author) and Rich Lynch, a consultant for the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission. Lynch started the panel by saying, "My expressed views are not neccessarily those of the United States government." The question, "who does not believe that global warming is happening" was posed to the audience. One hand slowly rose from the crowd. I knew that we wouldn't be debating the undebatable fact of climate change, and would rather be talking about what ideas are on the fore.
Benford is working on a test project to seed the upper atmosphere with inert dust that will reflect a good deal of UV radiation back into space. He's currently looking for funding so a test over international waters in the north Pacific can be conducted, its effects measured, and a plan made based upon the results. He's fairly confident, and the idea is interesting. He also brought up "carbon sequestration", which is a technical way to describe the following: you grow a lot of dense crops in the great plains, bundle them together, and drop them into the sea.
They sink below the thermocline, so none of the carbon is released. Neat idea, but Lynch pointed out that commercial crop considerations will get in the way. Stan Robinson mentioned the problem of ocean acidification, which I had never considered. As with just about everything we're doing to harm our futures, it makes perfect sense if you think about it for a second. Everything we put into the air ends up in the oceans. We put acids in the air. Zooplankton are at the base of the oceanic food chain, and are very sensitive to changes in PH. More acidic water (we're seeing it) means fewer zooplankton. If there are too few, the food chain collapses. That's it. Dead oceans. Thankfully, we have time to deal with this one - something like 75 years. I'm not sure if The Idiot will die off during that time, however.
The best part of the panel was when some fool stood up and challenged the panel (and both of its scientists) on the validity of the views of nearly 100% of the world's peer-reviewed scientists. Stating, yet again, that we're in the middle of a natural cycle of change, the man brought up several known-to-be-false numbers, only to be rebuffed by Stan Robinson. He tried to say more, but was shouted back into his seat by the three hundred people in the room.
It was great. Check out www.realclimate.org It's the real deal. If you're going to comment and say that this is leftist fear-mongering, I'd ask that you fuck yourself first. I believe the entire climatological community. You believe the energy industry and Rush Limbaugh.

Quote(s) of the day: "Did I mail a dead rat to a Hollywood producer? No. I mailed a dead gopher to a New York publisher." - Harlan Ellison, clarifying his past
"Do you have an iPod, sir? No I don't want to fucking see it! What is it with these people and their fucking iPods? It's like someone with a boil or a goiter - they can't wait to show it to you!"
Harlan again.

"Science doesn't need to be more political. Politics need to be more scientific." Kim Stanley Robinson, with part of the answer to our global climate crisis. I cannot overemphasize the effect his book Red Mars had on me years ago. I woke up after I read that book, and started seeing so many things where I'd only seen my own viewpoint before.

Day 5

Panels: Might Makes Right, Page 119, The World's Most Useless Superpowers, and an hour with Ray Bradbury.

I won't lie, Ray Bradbury was a bit disappointing. He's up there now, and he wasn't completely focused. Page 119 was a neat one. Some of you may be familiar with the idea that page 119 (or give or take a page) should give you an idea of what a book is about. The panel read from several books, and we'd give our impressions and make a guess. A couple of guys really knew their stuff. I found a few more books I would never read. The last panel of the Con was The World's Most Useless Superpowers.
Some panels are just fun, and this was one of those. Names thrown around included Narcoleptic Lass, Gravy Boy, and Four-Legged Man from The Tick. (Just got season one on DVD. Awesome.) My friends at the Con know something about me. They know that I have an evtry into this field. Years ago, after watching the first X-men film, my friend Randall and I decided that the worst mutant power would be the ability to generate lettuce. Strips of iceberg lettuce, to be exact. I made up the guy's name and circumstances, and couldn't believe my luck. I'd be able to share. When someone brought up a character who could shoot sushi from his fingers, Tom nodded to me from a few chairs down, and up went my hand. One of the panelists made the great point that if you can create something from nothing, you have what could be a considerable power in the right circumstances. I had the floor.
"Well," I began, "what if the food you were able to create was nutritionally irrelevant? A friend and I created this character named Bryce Berg, and he has the ability to generate lettuce." The laughs began, so I figured I might as well continue. "He can create strips of zero-calorie iceberg lettuce with his hands. He gets a job in a sandwich place to make himself relevant, and he's always trying to give people lettuce. We don't know which way to take it yet - on one hand, it's funny if he has to eat a head of lettuce in order to have the energy to create lettuce - so he's really just a means of chopping. On the other hand, it's more poignant if he has a "my gift, my curse" situation with a lettuce allergy. He can never enjoy that which he creates." It went over well, and I was glad to see people found it as funny as I did. My favourite superpower belonging to the audience was one man's ability to sense when a photograph is about to be taken so he can look directly into the flash.
After the closing ceremonies, I took off to meet another old friend for dinner. Another great Con, and time well spent. I may see the gang again in Japan next year (that'll cost me) or I may head to North American Science Fiction convention in St. Louis. There's a NASFic when the WorldCon is out of the U.S. in case people don't want to travel. It'll be cheaper. We'll see.

So that's how these things go. Great fun for a guy who reads books. With this, the blog finally returns to ravings and troupe news.

Mike.

More Fitting

noreply@blogger.com (The Somethingorothers) — Wed, 06 Sep 2006 20:47:00 +0000

Texaco Station in Ambler, Illinois. Built in 1933, this was the longest operating service station to pump gas on the old Route 66. Nice place, with period supplies in the garage. Not quite finished yet, however.

Note the price of gasoline in the picture on the right. Of course, I would have likely made around $7,000 a year back then, so I guess it's all relative.

This is the Standard Oil station in Odell, Illinois. It was built in 1932, and identified on the National Register of Historic Places in 1997. The restoration is a project of the fantastic Route 66 Association of Illinois Preservation Committee. When I took this picture, two senior couples from Ohio had just pulled up in their new Corvettes.

There wasn't much to photgraph on the last day of driving. Solid, good road for most of Illinois.

The drive back to Toronto was a bit of a sprint. Quite boring through Michigan. Or it would have been if not for the blinding rain. Caught some baseball on the radio, which made things better.

I may find a few more interesting photos as I comb through the hundreds I took on this trip. I'll let you know if I do. And I still have to write something about the convention, if only to articulate the fact that it isn't like the damn Sci-Fi Expo that comes to Toronto every year.

The photo below was taken around the point where I left Route 66 and hit the Interstate to head home. It's the stretch of IL53 heading north to Joliet. It runs like this for miles - the old divided 66 four-lane stretch. The former southbound is no longer used, but the former northbound serves as the two-lane IL53. It seemed like a fitting last photo. Below it is a brief summary of the trip. Thanks very much for paying attention, and I wholeheartedly endorse the old Route 66 for anyone who wants to see the United States, experience a part of American history, or just take a fantastic, long road trip. It was great fun to find the old, unmarked alignments of road, grown through with grass and crowded by trees, to drive through small towns, some past their heyday, and to rip across the desert on a route that once would have been a heartbreaking journey a century previous. This was the single best thing I have ever done, and I'm proud to say that I just shrugged my shoulders when I saw my Visa balance this morning. I also have to say that I am tremendously proud of my car. I had a few emails and comments before I left, suggesting that I was unwise to trust this vehicle, or otherwise doubting her capacity to carry me across the continent and back. I'd like to extend my longest middle finger to those people. My car is bulletproof, and one bloody hell of a machine.

Days: 19

Drive days: 14

Total distance driven: 10,510 km

Total drive time: ~ 120 hours

Average driving speed: 87 km/h

Maximum driving speed: 209 km/h

Maximum Elevation: 14,075 feet (Mount Evans, Colorado)

States: 15. Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Iowa, Nebraska, Colorado, Utah, Arizona, Nevada, California, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Missouri.

Overnight towns: Lansing MI, Omaha NE, Loveland CO, Grand Junction, CO, St. George UT, Anaheim CA, Needles CA, Williams AZ, Tuba City AZ, Grants NM, Vega TX, Oklahoma City OK, Carthage MO, Springfield IL.

Towns driven through: easily over a hundred.

Conversations with Hippo: 12

Favourite place: Summit Lake at Mount Evans