The Soul of a Champion

2014-02-07T20:47:00.000-08:00

I re-posted this to my facebook with the caption: When I see this picture I see the depth of the color in the neon sign. This to me is significant. It shows the attention to detail and depth of discrimination Americans went through less than a lifetime ago.

This photo was taken in 1956 and posted to facebook by Blackpast.org. It's original caption said:

This photo of a finely dressed black mother and daughter -- standing below a “Colored Entrance” sign at a bus station in Birmingham, Alabama, in 1956 -- was taken by Gordon Parks, one of the seminal figures of twentieth century photography. A humanitarian with a deep commitment to social justice, Parks left behind a body of work that documents race relations, poverty, civil rights and urban life.

I find myself torn by this picture, mostly because I think it's beautiful. The contrast of colors, the old vehicle in the modest class and beauty of the mother and daughter. It's a beautiful picture. I guess the picture is a true representation of the photographers eye. The photo is the best representation of American irony, because as ornate as the colors are and as timely as the photo is, the two ladies in the photo will always know what it's like to have being colored hanging over their heads.

America, the beautiful, has low self esteem. This picture captures this perfectly. While Americans of color have long been contributors to society. We have been continually branded and segregated by no fault of our own. I have to wonder the social conditioning of these two. What were they taught/told about themselves?

This train of thought brings me to think about my grandparents and Trayvon Martin.
(keep reading...I'll explain) My grandparents lived through this era. In 1956, my grandmother was a 29 year old mother of 3 (she would later have 3 more) and a homemaker. My grandfather was a 40 year old World War II veteran who worked several jobs to provide for his growing family. In context, my mother was 4 with two younger siblings. How did this world shape who they became? How did it shape the way they raised their children? How did it shape the way their children raised us? I'm outspoken, at times, and refuse to back down if I feel I'm right about something. In an era where terrorism and hate crimes ran rampant, I don't think I would've lasted long.

Both my late grandfather and Trayvon Martin had their birthdays this week (Feb 4 and Feb 5) concidentally, they both died in February also. But as I think about social conditioning, I have to wonder if Martin's response to his would-be killer was a combination of him defending himself and bucking the systematic injustice of being second class or inferior. His killer, whose name I will never type again (you won't get boosted in search by me bruh), approached him because he felt that Martin didn't belong...possibly likening his neighborhood to the 'Whites Only Entrance' (even though he's not white) and Martin had made a grave mistake by entering "these assholes always get away", he said.

In a world where this was commonplace, my grandfather had to do what he had to do in order to put food on the table for his family. I remember being about 7 asking him about Martin Luther King, Jr and if they marched. He told me, "Baby, I had to work," and left it at that. As a kid I was outraged at the fact that he didn't march. This was important to our people! As an adult, I understand that his work and legacy wasn't the movement, it was tilling and nurturing the seeds he'd help bring into this Earth. He'd lived in an unkind world in a country ripe with opportunity for everyone who didn't look like him. Born in 1916, he was the grandchild of former slaves and sharecroppers. He'd seen Jim Crow laws his whole life and seen the genesis of the farm system funneling Black men into encarceration created by private prisons (read Slavery By Another Name). While he undoubtedly supported the movement, his fight was greater. He had to stay alive in a world that didn't care if he breathed or not.

Trayvon Martin had different complexities in the post-civil rights era. He was a kid probably fighting the idea of becoming a statistic. Being raised by both parents, he probably warred with himself in doing what he saw on TV, what he was taught at home, juxtaposed with what the world and society had taught him about himself. While there's no 'Colored Entrance' picture in todays digital world. There's an expectation, although sometimes silent, that expects people of color to be a certain way. In an interview with Oprah, Michael B. Jordan who played Oscar Grant in Fruitvale Station said that "Black males, are America's pit bulls we're labeled vicious, inhumane and left to die on the street" Pit Bulls are said to be vicious, violent in nature, and savage. Physically fighting that stereotype with someone who is out to kill has to be the scariest thing.

This brings me back to the photo above. This photo was taken a year after Emmett Till was murdered and Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat. During this same year, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that segregation of buses in Montgomery, Ala. was unconstitutional. In the year following, they'd see the emergence of the greatest civil rights leader that lived. They lived life in limbo. As I look at this picture and think about the trail of aformentioned thoughts and emotions brought forth, I'm left with the idea that, they probably just wanted to go home.

The Album That Brought My Blog Out of Retirement: RealliCool - Hunger Pains

2014-01-15T20:40:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago I came across this album cover from one of the random pages I follow on facebook. That page led me to the Reall!Deaux? & Cool Green facebook page. From there, I found a song off the mixtape called 'Til the Day. Now this is the first song I heard but I noticed how dope it was. It's well produced, verses are nice and they put it down. Then I saw the album cover, it's a piece of art in itself! This statement also proved to be true about the album (I've listened to it at least 20 times all the way through).

Reall!Deaux & Cool Green AKA RealliCool AKA Baltimore's Dynamic Duo have put together a project like none I've ever heard before. Typical rap albums take the angle of gangsta, braggadocio, or just all around materialistic. What struck me about the album was that, although it occasionally touches on the typical topics, is that it has substance and depth and is dope at the same time.

Hunger Pains is an album that subtly describes life for lots of young black men in America. Starting with a prayer, the album journey though good times (Cheers) and bad (Riches) while illustrating what it's like to have convictions on your record while trying to find employment ( "Can't get a job 'cause what's said about me on a fuckin' piece of paper...") to the feel good moments you have with your girl like you have on "Can You Feel What I'm Saying?" The album has ambition but it sobering in it's reality.

I'm the kind of guy who likes music I can feel. Big K.R.I.T.'s Return of 4Eva and J. Cole's Friday Night Light's are great examples of the type of music I like from this era. It's dope, substantive, and you get attached to it. When you listen to songs off those mixtapes, the lyrical imagery is so acute you can visualize the scene's described. This is what drew me to Hunger Pains. It's deep, it's dope, and they've created a scene for life in Baltimore as good as, but contrasting the picture painted by David Simon in The Wire.

The duo understands that each need a moment to shine for a song to be dope, they managed to carve out spaces for their respective styles on each track that give a unique sound. Separately, Realli has a dope, textbook east coast flow. It's like he graduated from the school of Big Daddy Kane, Big L, Method Man and The LOX. He's confident, lyrical and witty ("B-A-L-T-I stand in the middle, gimme MORE be my slogan"). He's the type of guy who could hop on a track like Loud &Gn@rly and do a whole verse with Hawaiian references because the title of the song has surfer roots (you gotta hear it). Cool, I would imagine, is the quieter one of the pair. His flow is a hybrid of east coast and south with DEEP metaphors. For example, on the song Significant Lover, he references Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet "...a rose by any other name is still sweet." I'm sure that line will go over the head of most people. Cool sometimes can have a predictable flow, but on tracks like ReROUTE feat. Mac Bacote, he changed it up and it made the song what it was.

Together, they remind me of your favorite sports duo (Jordan & Pippen, Emmit & Aikman, Rice & Young, Yzerman & Federov (for you hockey fans)), in that one would be good but the other makes them that much better. The competition, albeit frendly, gives each of them an edge on the album. Realli's the showman on the album while Cool came to put in work and do a great job. Both practice hard but their skillsets translate completely differently and complimentary on the project. Smartly, they limited the features on the album with only 3 other artists appearing on the 16 track project and they also stuck with producer Chubby Boy for most of the album creating a more cohesive sound.

The Charm City soul sound created by the two is reminiscent of Big K.R.I.T., Gangstarr, ATCQ, and DMX. It's raw and polished. It's well planned and thought out. I think this is the blueprint of the sound of what's to come. The facade of being a gangsta, super rich, dope boy is out. Real (dudes) Do Real Things. Raw honesty sells and RealliCool is giving it to you for free. Get it now. In 5 years when rappers are trying to look like they're trying to make it, RealliCool will have done it and you need to hear where the sound came from. Download Hunger Pains now and let people hear it. Trust me.

RealliCool can be found on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Soundcloud. Be sure to like and follow.

The Wire: 10 Years Later

2012-06-05T11:13:00.000-07:00

It's rare in America that a television show touches the pulse and soul of a culture while piecing together a narrative that parrallels life. This is what The Wire did from 2003-2008. I'll admit, I didnt become a Wire head until sometime in 2009 after my daughter was born. I remember being in college and someone from my dorm telling me they had it on bootleg and that it was "this real ass drug show" and I didnt want to watch it. I couldnt fathom wanting to see a show about drug dealers when at the time I had 2 cousins and an uncle in jail for drug offenses. However, fast forward to 2009, I'm a new dad in a bad economy. My home had been broken into and my recently purchased HDTV had been stolen. I was starting a new business (in a bad economy) and the country had a new POTUS that was Black named Barack Obama. With the stresses of life and all the change going on in the world, I needed an outlet BAD.

So one Sunday night, I'm folding laundry and I see that DirecTV will be showing episodes of The Wire on the Audience Channel (then The 101). It's late so I begin to watch it and get completely sucked in by the depth and power of its characters. The storyline is almost too much to process so I try to tell my wife about it and it comes out something like:

"Babe! I've been watching this show called The Wire and its amazing."
"What's it about?"
"Well, it's about these cops trying to catch these dope dealers in Baltimore and they use wire taps!"
"Um, ok...What's so good about it?"
"Well, the cops. They try to catch the dope dealers, but they can't really ever get them on anything."
"....ooook."

If I had to do it over, I'd probably say something that included the first few sentences and this:

The Wire is a show that intricately understood the complexities of being Black in America. As a Black man, there are people we know who go on and do great things with their lives. We also (for the most part) know people who became the De'Angelo Barksdales, The Wallaces, and the Stringer Bells. We know Cops, people who work regular day jobs (similar to season 2) waiting for their turn to lead against what they could liken to the genuine well-intentioned corruptness of a character like Frank Sobotka. I'd also say that even though The Wire was set in Baltimore (a place I'd never been until 2011), it tells the stories of every day people on both sides of the law and those reporting it. It gives brevity to the futility of continually spending tax payer dollars fighting the War on Drugs while constantly shorting the education system that, through lackluster programs, creates a feeder system into the lawless side of that war. Historically, Season 3 takes the Bush agenda to task without ever explicitly mentioning the former President. Without ever going Hollywood, The Wire managed to get the best out of it's cast and crew by telling the stories of real people.

There were too many parallels to name. One of my favorites though is the evolution of the relationship between Avon Barksdale and Stringer Bell. Initially they were inseparable business partners in the game trying to take over a city by any means necessary. As they progressed through the first three seasons they spoke less and started to see each other more for who they were becoming as men. Avon -- the consummate gangster didnt want to leave the streets he'd commanded for a better part of his life. He had the challenge of a new threat he wanted to see killed in Marlo Stanfield. Stringer was ready to get out, he'd taken college courses on economics and started a business to make himself more legit.

Their relationship likens it to a song recorded in 1996 by Jay-Z called D'Evils. While the song is dark and gritty, the first bars of the second verse nearly document the relationship between Bell and Barksdale.

"We used to fight for building blocks
Now we fight for blocks with buildings that make a killing
The closest of friends when we first started
But grew apart as the money grew, and soon grew black-hearted"

I suppose this is the reason you're told not to go into business with friends. The prospect of making money with your pat'na, your boy, boy ace boon coon sounds great until the money starts flowing and you've got different perspectives on how to manage and grow it. The normal separation of duties and rolls are blurred by the fact that you've known this guy for years. Now, after a heated business meeting you attempt to act like everythings good. Maybe you go eat, maybe you play Madden, Call of Duty, Gears of War or something along those lines. But what you don't do is talk about the problems the two of you are facing. You don't come up with an exit strategy that gives all parties involved close to what they came in with and a way out if its not what it seems. What was so prolific about The Wire is that the relationship between these two even paralleled the lives of men on the straight and narrow trying to make it. The show quietly illustrated the climactic point in which they both knew it was over - where they ended up setting one another up.

Then in a turn, the following season (season 4) shows the aforementioned feeder system for the corner boys.

This show was a cinematic masterpiece that ran for 5 years on the small screen.The impact of the show is still great, it's been off the air for 4 years and we're still talking about it. Hopefully there's at least one more season or movie somewhere that hasnt been aired yet. The Wire is one of those shows that cemented and documented a moment in time. There may never be another like it.

Who's your favorite Wire character?

"Show Your Papers"

2012-03-26T07:36:00.005-07:00

In a time during and before the Civil War, there existed freed men and women of color. There were Black people who existed in American life free of the bondage and vestiges of slavery. When walking out in society, they would often be harassed and told to "Show Your Papers." Showing their papers was showing evidence of their freedom as decreed in writing by a White slave owner. This showing of papers was done to make sure that no slaves were walking amongst the free all willy-nilly.

Since then, various degrees of harassment has spawned from this act; mostly by law enforcement. Though here it's spoken of candidly, Black men have been stopped, harassed, and questioned about who they are, where they're going, and what business they have in a particular neighborhood since this time. It seems that no Black man is immune to this unwritten rule of forced identification. From 2007-2011, President Barack Obama was literally forced by Tea Party Conservatives (Donald Trump and a host of other majority White Americans) to prove he was born in the United States; a demand not made against any American president ever. President Obama's religion is still in question by many.

The aforementioned history brings me to the root of my issue with the Trayvon Martin case. It has been said that Trayvon's hoodie played as much of a role in his death as George Zimmerman did. It has also been said that Trayvon's death could have been avoided if he'd simply told Zimmerman why he was in the neighborhood (or shown his papers). While on twitter, something was retweeted into my timeline that got to the crux of the matter for me.

@BasseyWorldLive tweeted: Why is the onus on the minor child who was scared? And all the benefit of the doubt given the armed adult who was the pursuer?

Zimmerman was not an authority figure in this case. He was a self appointed neighborhood watch with a gun. Why should Trayvon answer to him? It was noted that in the altercation, Zimmerman sustained a broken nose and gashes to his head, I understand why he did.

All of our lives we were told as children, and have told our children, the dangers of strangers. Stranger Danger it's called. As children we are told to stay away from strangers, that if a stranger is approaching you to tell an adult, call 911, or run like hell. Trayvon Martin was followed and then approached by a stranger asking him what business he had in the neighborhood. It would seem that a natural reaction would be for him to fight for his life to get away from this stranger. In a video filmed by the Tallahassee, FL Police Department an officer send a message to children saying that if you're by yourself and a stranger grabs you, you should fight, kick, bite, punch, grab, and do whatever it takes to get away.

See for yourself (skip to the 1:49 mark):

Why would Trayvon do anything else but fight for his life? Why isn't George Zimmerman being arrested for stalking, attempted kidnapping, and murder. This was premeditated murder, period. By definition, premeditated murder is the wrongfully causing the death of another human being (also known as murder) after rationally considering the timing or method of doing so, in order to either increase the likelihood of success, or to evade detection or apprehension. When he decided to follow this young boy and get out of the car with his gun and confront him, that was premeditation. Getting out of the car with a gun for a confrontation increases the success of the confrontation going his way.

I hope Trayvon Martin gets justice, and George Zimmerman get's this guy:

Being (a) Black (man) In America - RIP Trayvon Martin

2012-03-20T09:57:00.005-07:00

After the 2008 Election of President Barack Obama, there was this euphoria amongst many Americans. The euphoria led some to believe, if for a short while, we live in a post-racial America or a post-racial society. Of course, soon after ignorance reared its ugly head and we realized nothing had changed at all.

In 2012, as we head toward another election we are yet confronted with the idiocy of racism. I wish in this case I was talking about not reneging in 2012. This time we're confronted with the unjust murder of Trayvon Martin by George Zimmerman. At this point, you should know the story. If you haven't then shame on you for not being connected.

The story of Trayvon's murder is one that strikes a chord with me. I'll admit, at first, I tried to ignore it. Subconsciously I think I knew the level of rage I would feel towards it. I told my self, I've got bigger things to focus on, I'm desensitized to nonsense in the news, this must be another #KONY2012, etc. But after I finally let myself digest and dissect the news it had me livid. Part of the problem I have with it is that the behavior for some White (and seemingly White in Zimmerman's case) authority figures is normal. Another part of it is that it's almost normal for Black boys and men to be harrassed by the police or those who feel they have power over you, whether you grant it to them or not.

The core of my angst toward this issue goes back to my childhood. One incident when I was 14, the other when I was 18 (on my 18th birthday). When I was 14 years old, I took the city bus home from basketball practice. I lived with my grandmother, but went to see how my mom was doing. I forgot my key so I knocked on the door, no answer. Then I knocked on the window thinking maybe she was asleep before work, still no answer. I turned around to walk around the corner to my grandmothers house and I was greeted by police officers. They didnt introduce themselves. At gunpoint, they demanded that I get down on my knees in very wet grass and proceeded to handcuff me. When I asked why I was being arrested, they told me that a person who fit my description was damaging property and disturbing the peace in the area. I informed them that I was on the local freshman high school basketball team and that it wasnt me. "We'll settle this downtown," they said. As they proceeded to take me in, an announcement from dispatch came across their walkie talkies "...the suspect was White." I was let go without apology.

On a mild night in October, I was celebrating two things: I had just gotten my cast of my leg that I broke in August and I had just turned 18. I was on the football team and it was a Thursday night (the day before a game) so in team tradition I was wearing my football jersey. In commemoration of that, I went to work on the car I had bought a few months before because now that the cast was off, my grandmother was going to FINALLY let me drive (the cast was on my left leg so I don't know why she was concerned). I get the car fixed and its running. So I decide to take it for a spin around the block to make sure it runs ok. I circled an area less than 2 mi from my home when I notice I'm being tailed by police officers. I park the car and get out. Then they jump out, flash their lights, and point their guns at me demanding I get back in the car. I do as I'm told. Then they demand I drop my keys out the driver side window, I comply. I'm told to stick my hands out the driver side window, I do that also. After that, I'm told to get out of my car (that I paid for with my own money mind you) with my hands behind my head and get down on my knees.

This presents a problem.

I'm recovering from a broken leg so I can't get on my knees without severe pain. I take a knee. They come over with guns to my head and tell me that my car fits the description of one that was "stolen in the area." Keep in mind my tags were registered to me at the house I parked in front of. So, as they proceed to interrogate me and call in back up I tell them to look in my back left pocket (I'm left handed, thats where my wallet was) for my ID. My grandmother came out to see what the issue was and explained that I hadn't stolen the car, I purchased it with my own money. My next door neighbor came out and explained that I hadn't stolen the car.

The police officer then looked at me puzzled, then asked in a tone like he knew me "Why do you have a Clarksville High School jersey on?" I looked him in the eye and replied angrily "...because I'm on the fuckin team!" I grabbed my ID off the trunk of my car and walked across the street in my grandmothers house. Had they ran my license plate, they would have seen that I was the rightful owner of that car. I was profiled because I was in an older car with dark tint and a nice paint job.

While these are just the two most blatant, there are several other instances where I and my friends have been profiled, harrassed, or needlessly questioned for being young and Black. Trayvon Martin was killed for being young and Black. He wasnt a menacing or threatening character. He was a teenager who went to the store to get skittles and iced tea. Because his family couldn't possibly have lived in that neighborhood according to Zimmerman's train of thought. He was questioned, harrassed, and subsequently killed for looking like an "outsider."

This is not OK.

Black men are arrested at alarming rates, profiled, and often hunted and killed with no recourse. Looking at the cases of Oscar Grant, Sean Bell, and Amadou Diallo prove this point. When will we decide as a country that enough is enough? People of all races were outraged at what Joseph Kony was allegedly doing to Ugandan children, but it seems that the racially motivated death of one of America's own gets no press or reaction. This shit makes me sick.

The plight of Black Americans is America's plight. Until it is addressed as a people we will never move forward in this country.

I am Oscar Grant...

2010-07-09T08:32:00.000-07:00

Today it seems like I'm the only one on this side of the United States affected by the verdict in the Oscar Grant murder trial. The officer shown in the video above, Johannes Mesherle was convicted of involuntary manslaughter after what seems like an obvious shooting of Oscar Grant in the back. Days after this happened there was a firestorm of video and eyewitness testimony about the shooting. There was a lot of outrage in the public, including my rant from January 9, 2009. After the several cases of police brutality against Blacks here in America with little to no conviction I came to a shocking revelation: I am Oscar Grant.

I say I am Oscar Grant because as a young black male I could easily be the target of some "misunderstanding" with police and my murder, the mourning of my passing, and trial of the officers who will have gotten off scott free will have been in vain. What will it take for justice to be served in these cases? Incidents like this further extend the gap of trust that exist between African American men and law enforcement. Incidents like this are why Oscar Grant may have resisted initially. And incidents like this are why Oscar Grant, Sean Bell, and others will end up as the faces of police injustice in the United States.

I am Oscar Grant, Trevor Casey, Sean Bell, Johnny Gammage, Ousmane Zongo, Nathaniel Sanders II, Amadou Diallo and even Mike Brennan; an African-American teacher beaten by two off duty officers in Austria as he exited a train. I am a nameless faceless individual who, sadly stands a chance at being beaten, hospitalized, or killed because of the color of my skin.

Unfortunately this is nothing new. Incidents like this are the fodder for movie plots old and new. In Set it Off, Stony (played by Jada Pinkett-Smith) lost her brother to a barrage of police bullets after being stopped, told to lie on the ground and attempting to remove a celebratory bottle of wine from his jacket before doing so. Training Day shows the side of abuse from the perspectives of the officer who commits the abuse and the partner who is internally charged with stopping him. Ironically, Denzel Washington won an Oscar for this role. Finally deceased rapper and son of former Black Panther, Tupac Shakur who had his own issues with the law wrote"...cops give a damn about a negro, pull a trigger kill a nigger he's a hero." A sobering truth was said by Jay-Z on The Black Album in that, "this ain't a movie, dog!"

So where does this leave us? Whether it's one shot by one officer or fifty shots by four officers, the highly recognized and referenced cases above say one thing: the unlawful assault and murder of African American men by law enforcement carries little to no sentence. With all of the names listed above only one survived. Police brutality against Blacks has been prevalent since the Jim Crow era and it seems that although laws have been changed to recognize Blacks as humans, Black men are still hunted by men with guns who won't serve any time for their murder.

When caught in the flashing lights of a police cruiser, we might as well be deer as we are stunned as to what will happen next. With each confrontation with an officer of those charged with protecting and serving Black men are in some cases sitting ducks.

Like Oscar Grant, I am a man with a daughter. Being in that position I have to wonder what my daughter would be told if it were me who lie on the floor of a San Francisco subway station being arrested for God knows what, and then being shot in the back. The court of public record, youtube, and other sites would allow her to research my case and even witness my murder. But the court of law would have let her fathers murderer off with what equates to a slap on the wrist. That's why I am Oscar Grant. Like a math equation, my name, yours, or the names of millions of other Black men could be plugged in as the variable and the outcome would equate the same.

No justice no peace; Know justice know peace.

Modern Day Classics: John Legend's Get Lifted and Lyfe Jennings 268-192

2010-01-10T17:31:00.000-08:00

Today I had the pleasure of taking some time to listen to two CDs I hadn't heard in some time: John Legend's Get Lifted and Lyfe Jennings 268-192. These two albums are classic but for two totally different reasons. One is modern day Motown, it's the stereotypical story of relationship redemption but with a different twist to it. It's fresh, even today, and he and the lady they sing to live happily ever after. The other is raw, gritty and a poorly produced classic. Don't get me wrong, I'm not downing the album. Going back and listening to it made me appreciate it that much more. Lyfe also has a story of redemption. On the album, he starts envious of the posessions of others, falls in and out of love, goes back and forth to prison, and at the end the listener can envision him walking out and shouting out to his boys still on the inside.

My personal experience with both of these albums and artists goes back to 2005 at Nashville's Dancin' in the District. It was a series of concerts, mostly country music, that people could pay $5 and hear some of their favorite stars. Due to the popularity of him being around Kanye West, I already knew who John Legend was as it was his turn to close out the show. But what was surprising to me was my introduction to Lyfe Jennings. At the time, Lyfe had a van with his picture on it, some background singers, a band, and his boys. Though his album had been out for a while, he thanked Nashville for helping it almost go gold. I sat down with my wife and we listened and were amazed by what we heard. We bought the CD the next day.

Lyfe's first album was modern day blues. It was a brown liquor album that you could sit back, sip, and grit your face to because the stories and examples were so true, vivid, and relevant to the story he was telling. After first hearing "Hypothetically" I remember damn near swerving my car when the female singer said "...and I just can't say for sure if the baby's yours." It was twists like that that made the album like a good book. It set it apart from everything else up until that point because, if you've ever seen life perform, you can just picture him and his guitar. He talked about dating women with kids and the war within himself on how it seemed "wrong to him, exposing them to a man who may one day decide he's tired of the family life." The album was good and introspective. He dealt with a lot and made it a complete package.

John Legend had your typical album release. 'Used to love U' came out and it did well. So did 'Ordinary People.' After listening to the entire CD. He also deals with alot. He goes from being tired of his girl because he's broke and she's apparently a gold digger to being drunk talkin to another man's girl to cheating to making up to struggling to making it. During the album Legend embodies the story of lots of men. On one hand, we don't mind taking you from your man. Sometimes we mess up and mess around. But when we realize you're the one, you've got us for life and we'll do anything to make you happy.

That night after being in the presence of both entertainers and getting my money's worth I can honestly say that's one of the best concerts I've ever attended. Both entertainers gave a full albums worth of performances and rocked it. I'm sure, simultaneously, they created life long fans.

I think the reason why I appreciate both of the albums so much is because they represent me at two different times in my life. On one hand, Lyfe's album is kind of the struggle of a guy trapped in his city and inner circle yet trying to do something positive. Legend's album is a guy who's been through a little somethin' and is now viewing the world from a man's perspective and experiencing life and relationships from that vantage point. I think that's why they are my two favorite albums. If I blogged back when they came out, I woulda reviewed them then, but better late than never right?

Tiger Woods Y'all

2009-12-09T13:23:00.000-08:00

Sup everybody? Yall 'memba me? I know it's been a while. I got a life that took over my blog and forced me to rant in public (amongst friends and friends of friends). Shit happens, get over it.

So this Tiger Woods situation apparently is a big deal. It's all the media can talk about. Thank God President Obama is making speeches and increasing the troop levels in Afghanistan, otherwise we'd have coverage on this for hours on end like a high speed chase. This is interesting because there are so many different dimensions and questions and so many people sitting wondering WTF?!

I'll start in order?

That Tiger Woods? The KaBlAsian that plays golf??

How many ladies are mad they missed out? You? I know you are. You with the red shirt on, you saw him in person a few years back. It could've been you. Oh well.

Ladies, on the list of potential celeb partners, where does Tiger Woods fall? Between George Clooney and Bokeem Woodbine? Exactly. Nobody had Tiger on their radar. Maybe that's why he was so successful with the ladies. Tiger Woods isn't exactly the guy you'd be jealous if you saw your woman talking to him either.

"Hey baby, was that Tiger Woods? Yeah. Didja get me his autograph? Boy, He sure can swing a stick. That's what she said. What? Oh, nothing dear ;-)."

I'm sure his wife probably thought the same thing. She got a billion-dollar nerd who was the best golfer in the world. He had to be faithful, right? Turns out they didn't call him Tiger for nothing.

"Who would've guessed Swedish women were ghetto?"

Elin Nordegrin gets my first ever honorary "LaTaquisha Award." The LaTaquisha Award is bestowed upon women who, in times of finding out about marital infidelity, proceed to thrash the property of her significant other. Afterwards, she makes attempts to stay, as long as there are no other hoes. She also is going shopping once it's all said and done. Because if he wants to make this go away, he's got to come off that cash. LaTaquisha recipients also have a bit of Mya from Girlfriends in them. "Oh hell no, Tiger! You cheatin? Where you going?!" As rap music has been to blame for various deaths and acts of violence, this LaTaquisha honoree channeled Jazmine Sullivan as she proceeded to bust the windows out of his car.

So congratulations, Elin. I know the situation sucks, but because of you, professional athletes everywhere are giving a little more respect to the white women in their lives.

So what he had a side chick?! Don't all athletes?

This was how a lot of men felt at the time when it all first came out. We didnt tell our wives that, but that's how we felt. I mean seriously, how could she not know? Maybe she didnt. I always thought it was a given that if your significant other is an insanely successful athlete, he's gettin some strange somewhere. Maybe I'm wrong. With the rumors of, and confirmed reports of infidelity, with Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Charles Barkley, and Dwayne Wade, I just thought that's how things went. I thought the unwritten rule was "Don't have any outside kids, Don't bring home no STDs (pronounced steeds), and Don't get caught." Initially, I thought Elin was mad because Tiger got caught and now "he puttin' all they bizness out there.*"

* remember, Elin's ghetto.

RIP Steve McNair and all, but didnt you learn anything?!?

Shout out to all waiters, waitresses, servers, hosts, hostesses, and the like. I love yall and I tip great service, always. But in Tennessee, some waitresses get paid $2.13/hr plus tips. So, if I'm a waitress and I get Tiger Woods at one of my tables you better know I'm doing whatever's necessary to get a tip (I just channeled my inner hoe, don't judge me). In today's day and age where nothing is private, I'm surprised he thought he could get away with it. Hell, I'm surprised he got away with it for this long. While I don't feel sorry for the man, I've gotta shake my head at him. He's in some pretty deep doo-doo.

A Porn Star?

Now, it's no secret that every heterosexual man wants a woman that can get down like a porn star.

"We want a lady in the streets, but a freak in the bed."

~ Ludacris

We want to applaud the performance after it's over. It's also no secret that most men wouldn't get down with a porn star. While her professional life may be documented, if you know she's been in more than 10 videos that might be a little risky. I mean, what about her personal life? You can't see those people or what they look like. I'm sure one might argue that you can never truly know the sexual proclivities of anyone unless you were with them every minute of their lives. That's true. However, the induction of evidence into the equation changes everything. With most women, the men in their lives don't have evidence of her experiences with past partners (I hope). So, while you know what the act of sex looks like, you don't have to see her with anyone other than you. With a porn star, you've got evidence, and sometimes tons of it. So, if you want, you can go back and review the tapes, ughh! It's clearly not something I find alluring. Tiger likes what he likes, though.

Tiger didnt know how to cheat...

Not that I do, baby. You know, you're all I need and more. But I'm thinking, if I'm gonna bone someone else, she's not gonna call my cell phone. At least not my main cell phone. Why doesnt Tiger have a throw away cell phone, a carrier pigeon or a guy in his entourage that who's job is to solely act as Tiger Wood's courier and relay messages. Tiger didnt plan to be a player, he just realized other women noticed him now. This was evident when he called the waitress and said "Hey, it's Tiger..." While he was panicking and thought he was going to get a favor granted, she heard "Hey, it's Tiger. My wife went through my phone and is calling peoples numbers (another characteristic of a La'Taquisha award recipient). She knows I'm cheating so you can go ahead and hire Gloria Allred and publish all the voicemails, texts, dead skin cells, and write your tell all book. Be sure to go on a book tour and get 'pizzaid' for boning a billionaire. Call me back when you get this message."

Where the hell was his Buick Enclave??[/end]

Some of yall aint sh*t...

More than once on facebook I've seen "Dear Tiger Woods, we cant help you like we did MJ OJ and Kobe, Remember you dont consider yourself one of us," written from the perspective of all Blacks in reference to Tiger being inclusive and adopting his Korean, Black, and Asian heritages. For everyone that posted and reposted this, you aint sh*t. First of all, you don't have any social clout. Black people don't have any social clout. For those of you who posted this, did you disconnect your BatPhone that puts you in contact with Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, and Michael Baisden on issues of social justice that effect Black people? This aint racial people. This is what happened, Tiger Woods got some new booty.

"Tiger Woods, yall! Tiger, Tiger Woods, yall"

Then he realized he could get more new booty. So he proceeded to raise the roof like that white man on the snuggie commercial and get more women. This soon spiraled out of control until it became the media circus it is today. So, who should be mad? Tiger. Elin should be disappointed, angry, and hurt, but Tiger should be mad. All this came about because of good old fashioned irresponsibility. He got some on the side and now it caught up with him. This isn't something someone did to him. He did it himself. Now he's gotta pay. I feel like it's gonna take some slow soul music, getting hit with hot grits (again, Elin = ghetto), and about 2700 'Baby please's' before this is all rectified.

So what's the lesson to be learned here? If you want to cheat, tell your wife. If she says ok and doesnt bust out the windows to your Escalade she might be ok with it.

September 11, 2001: The day I became a man

2009-09-11T20:52:00.000-07:00

2001 was an interesting year for me. It was the year I graduated high school, got accepted to Tennessee State and consequently, became a man. You see, college has an eye opening effect on most young men and women. A lot of times when we leave for college and make that first Thanksgiving trip home, our worlds no longer look the same. We see what we once knew and took for granted as a child through a different shade of glasses. Interestingly enough, that's what September 11th did for me.

On September 11, 2001 I was a freshman at TSU in room 319 in Watson Hall. I hadnt quite grasped the concept of I had to wake myself up for class so I missed my 9:15. A little before 10am my brother called me and sounded scared, like someone in the family had died. He told me to turn on the TV to channel 4 (WSMV) and within 30 seconds of me turning the TV on, I saw the plane crash into the building. Classes were cancelled for the rest of the day. Everybody was walking around campus in a state of shock. Since then, the world hasnt been the same. I guess that day was my introduction into adulthood because any childhood innocence I had left was gone upon realizing I was witnessing the deaths of thousands of people live on TV.

A good friend of mine lives in Brooklyn, NY. She was still in high school at the time of the attacks. The school she attended was in Manhattan. I remember buying a calling card after scraping up $5.00 in change (then going to the cashier at the burger king to get a solid $5) to buy a calling card to call her I had her number memorized by heart (no cell phone with a national calling plan then). By the time I got through it was close to 6pm my time. I remember the trembles in her voice as she told me how some of her classmates had parents who worked in the World Trade Center and that they were being told that their parents had died in this horrible tragedy.

It was a surreal experience for me. Here I am, a young 18 year old from Clarksville, TN going to school in Nashville, TN getting a story first hand from someone who'd witnessed the tragedy as well as knew people directly effected. The assumed Thanksgiving effect happened early for me and on a much broader scale. Instead of the home I grew up in being seen differently, it was the world I lived in. I realized then that everything as I had known it was about to change.

Prior to that, I'd pretty much existed in my own space, but September 11, 2001 was the day the world became a little smaller for me. As I laid in bed that night, I pondered the potential magnitude another attack could have. For the first time, I was afraid for my country. Grasping the magnitude of what had happened combined with the speculation of what U.S. retaliation was going to be was overwhelming. "Was their going to be a war? If so, were they going to reinstate the draft? Maaan, I just got to college! I knew that selective service was some BS on my FAFSA!" Ironically enough, a day before I visited the AFROTC office because I was knocking around the idea that college wasnt for me.

As all Americans searched to gather ourselves in the days following we, if but only for a brief time, were United. For a short moment we were all Americans. We weren't White Americans, Black or African-Americans, Asian - Americans, etc. We were just one. We were countrymen. We briefly understood patriotism without party lines. We understood our call to service and the necessity to support the decisions made by our elected leadership, whether we voted for them or not. We had the souls of champions, a resiliency that kept us in a time of national mourning and sorrow.

We should make an effort to get that feeling of unity back. It shouldnt take a tragedy to realize that we're all in this thing together. Your national deficit is my national deficit, your cheating congressman is my cheating congressman, your war is my war, my fight is your fight, my struggle is your struggle, my successes are your successes, and we all share a circular relationship on the ride of valleys, peaks, challenges, wins, losses, failures and achievements. At the end of the day, when it's all said and done, no matter how we hyphenate it, segregate it, politicize it, or criticize it we all share the same title: Americans.

May we never forget.

One Fourth Random | Exclusive

2009-07-14T13:35:00.000-07:00

Yesterday one of my good eFriends put out a call for bloggers to write about the good side of relationships. I decided to answer her call. I wrote a piece about my wife and I.

Feel free to check it out!

http://www.onefourthrandom.com/guest-post-youre-all-that-i-need/

The First 48: Documenting Genocide

2009-07-14T12:32:00.000-07:00

A&E has a hit series called 'The First 48' in which it documents murder cases and the efforts of policemen and women to make an arrest within the first 48 hours of the crime. The series documents the efforts of police departments in major cities across the U.S. (Memphis, Miami, Dallas, Phoenix, etc) and gives a synopsis of what goes into catching criminals. The TV show is very well produced and packaged, I haven't researched but I'm sure they've won awards. I do, however, have a slight beef.

Now, my beef isn't with the show, its producers, nor is my beef with the detectives or the police officers that work hard to keep neighborhoods safe. My beef is with the stars of the show. The stars of The First 48 are unpaid. They are often in wardrobe synonomous with their neighborhoods colors lacking belts, haircuts, and a sense of what life is all about.

The stars of The First 48 often look like me.

Young. Male. Black. 5'10"-ish. Medium to Muscular Build.

Now to someone whose never seen The First 48, my above paragraphs may lead you to believe that I'm only discussing the people who end up arrested. Unfortunately, this is not the case. While the criminals are the stars of the show, their co-stars are often the people they've allegedly murdered. Those people, like me, often fit the desription:

Young. Male. Black. 5'10"-ish. Medium to Muscular Build.

While most people view The First 48 as a hit reality drama, I see it another way. I think 50 years from now The First 48 will provide the first visually documented accounts of economic evidence of why the income and education gaps between Black men and women will be so far off. Sista's (and by that I mean Black women) have been complaining for years that there are no good Black men out there. Soon, that will be true. Robberies and homicides amongst Black men continue to rise everyday. And all for what? Turf? Colors? Respect?

At age 26, I've already had friends killed by gang violence. Eight days before my 26th birthday, I got a phone call saying that a guy I looked at like a little brother died after being shot several times. So with all that said, I'm wondering what will be our legacy. This post focuses on Black men but this is a societal problem that extends outside of the Black community. The ripple effect of mothers crying, children without fathers, and prisons being built in our back yards effects citizens of all races. So what do we make of this? We have people, groups, and governmental legislation raising money to save polar bears and melting ice caps, but what will we do to save our sons?

I'll leave this up for discussion either here, in your homes, at your local barbershops, starbucks or wherever else.

The lack of action we take now will be directly proportional to the quality of our futures.

How to Eat for Next to Nothing at Arby's

2009-07-11T17:45:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

In this recession a cheap meal is very hard to come by. This is why Arby's is gonna save the American marriage. Arby's is offering a Free BBQ Bacon Roast Burger (with any soft drink purchase). This is great because it gives you a drink and a sandwich for $1.65 (the price of a small drink at Arby's in Nashville). But it gets even better.

On the back of the receipt, you can call and get a free Regular Roast Beef or Beef 'n Cheddar for doing their survey. So you can literally go to Arby's with about $2.00 and eat pretty well.

Goodbye, Michael.

2009-07-07T11:38:00.000-07:00

Image via Wikipedia

As I watched the Michael Jackson memorial, I couldn't help but be amazed and in awe of the outpouring of love for this man. Celebrities and fans gathered together in the Staples Center, Times Square, CNN.com/Facebook, and all around the world to celebrate the life of a man who's music consistently told us to love, heal the world, and let change start with ourselves.

The memorial service made me think of how one should want to be remembered. As we know like none of us, Mike wasnt perfect. He was a man who came with flaws, shortcomings, and mistakes. He was also a man who, for a period of time, held the media spotlight in controversy with allegations of child molestation and all out weirdness.

Since his death, people from all over have come out to say good and bad about him. In the wake of all of this, I think what the world has learned is to judge someone on the totality of their being and not the singularity of their actions. Michael Jackson will go down in history as the greatest performer ever, he'll be remembered for selling the most albums of all time, he'll be held in high regard for being a humanitarian, a samaritan, and a father. It's my hope that when all of the dust has settled, he'll be simply understood.

What we must remember, especially those of us who consider ourselves righteous and above reproach is that no one is perfect. While watching on CNN.com via facebook, I was shocked by all of the negativity that the jury of public opinion has seemingly convicted him on. Remember, the constitution of the United States allows a person to be innocent until proven guilty. There have been investigators that have tried to prove him guilty and couldnt. To those people I say, keep the propaganda to yourself. Remember the lessons that you're mothers probably taught you in that "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."

Throughout all of the many faces, eccentricities, and tabloid headlines about Michael Jackson, his messages taught us all to love, challenge our beliefs, made us dance and wouldn't let us stop 'til we got enough. I challenge all who read this to live and love fully and innocently. I challenge you to try and have an impact on so many lives that your memorial service will fill the Staples Center. Lastly, I dare you to be charitable and to try to bring people together. Michael did an excellent job of it in life and in death. Be thankful for the music and the man because the music the man created will last forever, the man is gone from us now.

Goodbye, Michael. You'll be missed and gone too soon.

RIP Michael Jackson

2009-06-25T19:22:00.000-07:00

Michael Jackson via last.fm

Today, pop icon Michael Jackson died after a reported cardiac arrest. The 50 year old artist was about to embark on another tour and had been working with Lou Ferigno to get in shape. I'm at a loss for words. I've been trying to think of a way to honor him and this is what I got:

Go to Barnes and Noble, Amazon.com, iTunes or your favorite music store and buy Thriller. Let's see if we can top the record for most albums sold that Michael set in 1982 by selling 80,000,000 copies. Lets shoot for 90,000,000 or more.

I'm just one man, I don't have that much internet clout but I figure it's something we all can do.

The 25th Anniversary copy of Thriller can be purchased at Amazon.com

Not that F-Bomb...that F-Bomb

2009-06-23T13:27:00.000-07:00

So is faggot like nigga, where only the parties who claim some association to the derogatory term can say it? If so that makes sense. Remember a few years ago when actor Isaiah Washington had to go to rehab for calling one of his Grey's Anatomy costars a fag? Remember when Dog the Bounty Hunter made racist statements about his son's girlfriend? He also had to go to rehab. So, what gives one license to have an implied reference to themselves, as well as call others, a faggot, nigga, or any other derogatory term? How is it ok for a person to put themselves down by endearing a term, but wrong for others to do it? I have white friends (yes I have more than one white friend) who I've heard refer to each other as Honky. I've seen women of all races referring to each other as bitch.

"You wonder why they call you bitch, I betcha."

During an altercation in Canada where Perez Hilton was allegedly assaulted as a result of an altercation between himself, Fergie, and will.I.Am. Perez Hilton said he wanted to verbally hurt Will.I.Am by calling him the worst thing he could think to call him. So, what's a word with two G's in the center that would hurt a Black man?

Faggot! Perez called Will.I.Am a faggot.

Now, in my opinion, this speaks to the self esteem of Mr. Hilton. The worst thing he could think to call a man whom he has no reason to believe is gay is a word that's used to put down gays?

Really?

I guess that's like a Chinese man getting mad at a Mexican and yelling, "Chink!"

What sense does that make? How could one be a gay man and think that calling someone a faggot is the worst thing he could say to a straight man? Would Perez have hit Will if he was called Hetero?

While these questions are left to be answered, the bottom line is this: The conversational use of derogatory terms have to stop if they're expected to have any weight. A person can't be mad if someone uses a racial slur against them and they turn around and use it to greet their brother. It makes no sense for Perez to have called will.I.Am a faggot. In using that term, he showed the world what he thinks of himself, as well as the gay community.

Free Stuff 6/23/09

2009-06-23T13:20:00.000-07:00

Free Stuff! Get Free Condoms! Ladies and gentlemen, there's no excuse when the condoms are free!!

• Bottle of Kiss My Face Shower/Bath Gel for $0.

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courtesy of Gizmodo.com

Happy Birthday 2Pac!

2009-06-16T10:46:00.000-07:00

Today is the birthdate of famed hip hop legend, Tupac Shakur. Some of you believe he's out celebrating while others have accepted the fact that he's gone on to glory. While it's great to celebrate the life and music of a man who provided so much (I mean damn, the guy is still putting out albums). What lies in the shadows of all the bright lights and celebrities is the way in which he died.

While there's not a lot known about who killed 2Pac. The fact that 2Pac was killed by gunfire at age 25. We all know 2Pac as a star from music to movies but in this category, he's just a statistic.

Deaths amongst young Black males by gun violence 2002 to 2007 had risen 57%. The collateral damage of this is more families left to grieve, in some cases - more children growing up without fathers, and sadly more other young Black men in a gang lifestyle seeking retribution against other young Black men. (Source)

All of a sudden "Hit Em Up" doesnt sound so good.

Life is like a jungle out there for the young men and women who live in areas plagued by gang violence. In an effort to stay safe while on the streets, one has to adopt the code set forth by the criminals in the hopes that they'll go unnoticed. Sadly enough, in these areas the laws set forth by the Land often fall secondary to survival.

One would think that a character like 2Pac would be above this. During his lifetime, he gave stellar performances in movies, recorded a countless number of albums with hits from "Dear Mama," to "Keep Your Head Up," to "Hail Mary." But the underlying statistic that most statisticians miss is that money doesnt change a thing. There is absolutely no correlation between the annual income and the daily decisions a person makes. More prevalent to today's society, we've seen that in NFL Cornerback Adam 'Pacman' Jones.

The irony in all of this is that as Black males, and Black people as a whole; we're taught to reach back. We're taught to go back to the neighborhoods and povertous areas we've come from and give and try to cultivate the same motivation we had when we left. What nobody tells you is that the evils you faced, and sometimes participated in, are still there for you when you get back. Because the same friends are there, sometimes so are the same beefs, the same girls, and the same drama that you thought you left. While the ills are prevalent, there's also an odd comfort that home still feels like home, no matter how crazy things are. So when one gets rich and gets out with his homies sometimes bad things happen. Sometimes one gets rich and takes the behavior of his old neighborhood to the worlds stage for all to see in hopes that those he grew up with will say he's 'Keeping it Real'.

Mr. Shakur kept it real. While he was known for his ability to go deep into dark characters such as Bishop from Juice and poignantly remind us to thank our mama for raising us, remind us that Brenda had a baby, but Brenda barely had a brain, and to Keep our heads up. He was also known on his strong stance on sociopolitical issues. However, also within was a man who's behavior on September 13, 1996 may or may not have played a role in his death.

So where's the common ground? More importantly, how do we turn our neighborhoods into areas where we cultivate kings and queens for success and growth into old age vs. not expecting to see 25? How do we break the cycle of violence that took the life of Tupac Shakur, Christopher "Notorious B.I.G." Wallace, and my friend Alonza "Pee-Wee" Slayden?

The Tupac Amaru Shakur Foundation is preparing a star studded gala in Stone Mountain, GA in which the proceeds will benefit the Tupac Amaru Center for the Arts. While record labels, iTunes, bootleggers, and CD stores help us keep his memory alive. Let us not forget how he died; too soon.

J. Cole - The Warm Up [Mixtape Review]

2009-06-15T13:00:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite new artists right now is J. Cole. His new mixtape, The Warm Up was released today. Click the photo to download.

Fresh off inking his first major label deal with Roc Nation (a label headed by hip hop mogul, Jay-Z), J. Cole drops The Warm Up. For all intents and purposes, The Warm Up has the vibe and feel of an actual album. Often times rappers release random tracks and, in an attempt to piece them together for notariety, release these tracks for public consumption. Usually what happens in this scenario is there will be one or two standout records while the rest of the album is a series of C-grade verses or freestyles over stolen instrumentals.

This isnt the case with this.

J.Cole's mixtape has a centralized theme and an overall tone that gives the listener the sense that his best is yet to come. The mixtape is littered with lyricism, insight, forethought, and rhymes based in real life situations able to provide a listener or critic an actual mental picture of what he means.

The Warm Up features tracks revisited from his previous mixtape The Come Up. He tackles Dollar and a Dream, Dead Presidents, and Simba with lyrical mastery. With 22 Tracks, The Warm Up is an easy listen as well as a peek into the ambition of a young black male. There is definitely more to come the man who can't wait to be the king.

Free Stuff 6/12/09

2009-06-12T13:08:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of Gizmodo.com

• Mars Chocolates for $0 (250,000 available every Friday).
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Housewife or Working Woman?

2009-04-09T20:04:00.000-07:00

Fellas:
You're a young married man and into your career. You make enough money to pay the bills and have a little extra left over. You have a beautiful wife who makes almost as much as you do and the two of you have two beautiful children. The four of you, go on a nice stroll at the park. While the kids are running ahead doing what kids do, she grabs your hand and says: "Baby, I wanna stay at home and raise the kids."

What do you do?

The politically correct thing to do would be to say, "Baby, whatever you want to do is fine with me. I think our children would benefit greatly."

But let's look at raw numbers for a second.

You make $60,000. She makes $56,500. You live in a $350,000 house, drive a $30,000 car (the other's paid off), and have credit card debt of $12,000. While you live comfortably now, what will it be like living on $60,000/year for the both of you? You like your gadgets. She likes new shoes and clothes. You'll save money on childcare and your living expenses won't change, but your discretionary income will...DRAMATICALLY.

So you turn to her and say,"like a stay at home mom...how long have you been thinking about this?"

You ask this question for two reasons: (1) you really want to know and (2) it keeps you from asking "WHY?!?!" in a hysterical manner.

She tells you that she's been thinking about it for a few months. The kids are approaching school age and she wants to be able to get them ready for the challenges that school and life, in general, will provide.

So what do you do? How do you be supportive if you vehemently disagree? If you agree with this decision, how do you prepare your family for the transition?

On one hand, you don't have to worry about the mental stability of the people paid to take care of your child. On the other, how do you balance being the sole provider with all the responsibilities previously given?

Ladies:
you're a young working mom let's say around 28 with two kids: one's 4 the other's 2 and a 1/2. You have an ambitious young husband who's generally dependable (except with household stuff) but holds it down financially although you're no slouch. He makes a few thousand more but what's $4000 when you're a $100k + family. Life's good.

You've always been a saver and the two of you have put away a significant amount of cash over the last few years since college. Things are great on the job, but inside you yearn to spend more time with your children. In a psychology class, you learned that the most important years in a child's life are between the ages of 1 and 5. One will be starting kindergarten in a year and the other is so smart, he's learning how to read at nearly 3 years old. With the spark you've seen in your children's eyes over the past few months coupled with your own ambition for learning you decide that to best prepare them academically and emotionally would be to stay at home. You would save tons of money in childcare. Plus, you wouldn't have to drive across town to go pick them up. Lord knows people in (insert city here) can't drive worth a damn!

So, while on a walk in the park with the kids, you grab your husbands hand and say, "Baby, I wanna stay at home and raise the kids."

Your husband's always been supportive of your endeavors, but you don't know how he's gonna take it.

He pauses for a second and after a few steps he says,"like a stay at home mom...how long have you been thinking about this?"

You tell him, but you think he's not hearing everything you're saying.

He's zoned out.

You think to yourself, "He's the analytical type that always has to break everything down detail by detail. He's probably thinking about the money situation, but the bills won't change the fun money will just be less."

"He'll probably bring up my shopping later, but hell, it aint like I don't have enough shoes. I just buy them because I get bored. Jimmy Choo aint nothin but a name. And the clothes...I mean, I guess I could shop at New York and Co. they have decent looking stuff."

Although you're pretty solid in your decision you wonder if this will be too much. The kids know how to work that last nerve.

How will you balance being everything to the kids and being the same wife to your husband?
What do you do if he doesnt agree with your decision? Do you just quit your job anyway? What if it doesnt work out? Will he blame you if the family ends up in financial ruin?

More importantly, do the ends justify the means?

Where this started:
This is a topic that my wife and I have discussed several times. More recently I've heard it discussed on the Michael Baisden Show. I also began to think more in depth about it after watching the short film "Breaking News" Directed by K. Marie Walters and Written by Alan C. Beard, a good friend of mine.

I'm honestly torn.

On one hand, I want my wife to have the option to do what she thinks is best. On the other, I kind of feel like it may end up being career sabotage. So, using the example of the couple above she'd be at home for an unspecified time. If that time isnt spent educating herself in addition to taking care of the kids then, when and if, she decides to go back to work her skills may not be as sharp. Also, I'd like her to be able to support the family if something ever happened to me. Now, I've made all arrangements for her to be PAID if, God forbid, I leave this Earth before 127 (that's the goal I've set for my life expectancy). If something happens to me, she gets the balance of the IRA and 401(k), the value of the life insurance, and a check to pay off the house. But, that money's only gonna last so long.

So, what happens when the money runs out?

From a security perspective, I've always thought that my wife should work up until the point that: (1) we hit the lottery and disown a few relatives or (2) I get to a point where I make the amount of money alone that we did together. It seems fair to me. I know she eventually wants that option, so what's a man to do?

I mean, I'm a movement by myself, but I'm a force when we're together.

Ladies, if you were in the situation of the woman above how would you handle it?

Fellas: Would you rather have a housewife or a working woman?

Ladies: Would you rather be a housewife or a working woman?

A Portrait of a Killer

2009-04-03T20:08:00.000-07:00

What makes people murder in mass amounts? What drives the spree killer to go out and murder people in a public place to end all of it by taking his own life? What's the motivation by taking people down with you?

By definition, a spree killer also known as a rampage killer, is someone who embarks on a murderous assault on their victims (2 or more) in a short time in multiple locations. The U.S. Bureau of Justice Statistics defines a spree killing as "killings at two or more locations with almost no time break between murders."[1] According to the FBI the general definition of spree murder is two or more murders committed by an offender or offenders, without a cooling-off period; the lack of a cooling-off period marking the difference between a spree murder and a serial murder. The category has however been found to be of no real value to law enforcement, because of definitional problems relating to the concept of a "cooling-off period".[2] According to wikipedia.

Spree killers also tend to posess a level of cowardice not exhibited in serial killers. If one takes a look at the history of such events, the majority of them end in the murderer taking his own life. This makes me question his motives, does he realize his actions and fear the consequences or does he feel the need to manifest physical pain in others to match the emotional trauma he may feel inside? It's left to be researched and released to the public.

Today in Binghamton, New York, a man killed 13 people at an immigration center before taking his own life. Witnesses said he was no stranger to the center. An immigrant himself, he'd been in the country for 28 years and was a legalized citizen. So what drives people to end it all? More importantly, what societal influence or genetic marker creates a serial killer? News and media outlets will attempt to tie these recent events to the current recession, but this isnt the first recession we've been in. Below is a list of mass killings compiled by msnbc.com. I've shortened the list to what's been reported in the U.S. this century.

March 29, 2009:
Robert Stewart, 45, shot and killed eight people at Pinelake Health and Rehab in Carthage, N.C. before a police officer shot him and ended the rampage.

March 29, 2009:
Devan Kalathat, 42, shot and killed his two children and three other relatives, then killed himself in an upscale neighborhood of Santa Clara, Calif. Kalathat's wife was critically injured.

March 21, 2009:
Lovelle Mixon, 26, shot and killed four Oakland, Calif., police officers after a traffic stop. Mixon was killed in a shootout with SWAT officers.

March 10, 2009:
Michael McLendon, 28, killed 10 people — including his mother, four other relatives, and the wife and child of a local sheriff's deputy — across two rural Alabama counties. He then killed himself.

Feb. 14, 2008:
Former student Steven Kazmierczak, 27, opened fire in a lecture hall at Northern Illinois University in DeKalb, fatally shooting five students and wounding 18 others before committing suicide.

Dec. 5, 2007:
Robert A. Hawkins, 19, opened fire with a rifle at a Von Maur store in an Omaha, Neb., mall, killing eight people before taking his own life. Five more people were wounded, two critically.

April 16, 2007:
Seung-Hui Cho, 23, fatally shot 32 people in a dorm and a classroom at Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, then killed himself in the deadliest mass shooting in modern U.S. history.

Oct. 2, 2006:
Charles Carl Roberts IV, 32, shot to death five girls at West Nickel Mines Amish School in Pennsylvania, then killed himself.

March 21, 2005:
Student Jeffrey Weise, 16, killed nine people, including his grandfather and his grandfather's companion at home. Also included were five fellow students, a teacher and a security guard at Red Lake High School in Red Lake, Minn. He then killed himself. Seven students were wounded.

March 12, 2005:
Terry Ratzmann, 44, gunned down members of his congregation as they worshipped at the Brookfield Sheraton in Brookfield, Wisconsin, slaying seven and wounding four before killing himself.

March 5, 2001:
Charles "Andy" Williams, 15, killed two fellow students and wounded 13 others at Santana High School in Santee, Calif.

So how do we recognize those who may snap one day and cause harm? How does one know that the person they just fired or laid off won't 'go postal?' How does one get so consumed by anger that they go and kill mass amounts of people? Constitutionally, do second amendment rights and gun control laws somehow play a part in the slayings these people commit? It's left to be examined.

These days, we know that spree killers can be any race, age, and from any background. While the majority are white males in their 20's-30's, today's murderer was a 42 year old immigrant. The men who commit these crimes seem mostly to be driven by boldness along with cowardice. It's almost as if the blatancy of murder and the fear of justice have equal motivating factors causing them to end it all prior to having to deal with the consequences of their actions. Who knows? I really want to know more on how to stop these things from happening and how to recognize and counsel people out of this prior to them committing such haneous acts. Actions like this really disgust me.

If you see something, say something. Some things aren't preventable, others are. While you may look like a fool for notifiying the authorities to something that isnt anything, you'll save a countless number of lives if you stop the next Seung-Hui Cho. I'm not saying report every gun toting person you see. But if they have a gun, and are walking into a hair salon, they might be a spree killer.

Switch Up...

2009-03-20T07:42:00.000-07:00

So I typically post my rants about the media, politics, and other bullshit. Today, I'm feeling good so I want to share some good music with you.

I'm a big fan of east coast rap and lyricism in general and this video hits the best of both.

Sha Stimuli - Look at you
http://www.myspace.com/shastimuli

I'm also a fan of non gangster rap. Gangster shit is old and played out.

J. Cole - Losin' My Balance
http://www.myspace.com/therapistmusic

How The Bailouts Should Work...

2009-03-17T11:11:00.001-07:00

As we know, everyone is upset at AIG for borrowing billions of dollars of taxpayer money and using upwards of 10% to pay executives. Personally, I think AIG should be allowed to fail. They need to exercise every resource, including executive pay, prior to closing its doors. I understand the antithesis to my sentiments: AIG carries 74 million insurance policies. However, there are plenty of companies that would pick up where they left off. Also, AIG needs to get rid of its financial segments. Allegedly, this is where the problem lies. At the end of all of this bailout mess, there needs to be a few antitrust hearings because some of these companies are too big. If AIG's failure could cost the economy more than the billions of taxpayer money that's being loaned then that's a big problem.

All that's beside the point...

This is how I think the bailouts should work:

When a corporation comes to the government, they should have:

Their last two years of financials (including cash flow statements, balance sheets, and salary reports).
A detailed explanation of the company's progression to failure with clear line items on what they did to try to turn it around.
Possible considerations outside of a government loan to save their business (i.e. merger, acquisition, etc.)

If the government approves their bailout package, they then decide how much to award each corporation (i.e. GM, AIG, etc.)

However many billion dollars they get awarded, they have to trade shares in company stock to the American people based upon each persons income.

If they are successful, they pay the loan back at an appreciated rate and buy the stock from the American public.

If they fail, then the company becomes the property of the government to sell as a whole corporation, or segment the company out the business entities and sell to viable enterprises.

Either way the American people make their money back.

*Only tax payers who paid the previous year and are in good standing with the IRS are eligible.

Wanted: A Backbone for the RNC

2009-03-12T06:47:00.000-07:00

Over the past few weeks there's been banter regarding ~~Republican Party Leader~~ Rush Limbaugh and New Republican Party Leader, Michael Steele. Rush has gone on record saying (something to the effect of): "If Barack Obama is going to promote liberalism, and big government, I hope he fails." Rush isn't one of my favorite people but he's still relevant and has an opinion along with a right to express it like anyone else.

Now, we all know the media. Long gone are the days of investigative journalism for any purpose other than ratings. They now operate off soundbites. The soundbite for early March was "I hope Barack Obama fails," without any commentary leading up to that statement. As the media took this and ran with it, Michael Steele did a few interviews giving his opinion on Rush Limbaugh's statement. Steele said on D.L. Hughley's CNN show that his comments were "Incendiary and Ugly."

Now for someone trying to stand up for decency, I think this is a good rebuttal to a statement like that regarding the leader of the United States. Just when good ole Mike ~~balls of~~ Steele had an ounce of my respect. He goes and apologizes. As reported on CNN.com: "My intent was not to go after Rush -- I have enormous respect for Rush Limbaugh," Steele told Politico in a telephone interview. "I was maybe a little bit inarticulate ... There was no attempt on my part to diminish his voice or his leadership."

So which is it? Does he or doesnt he think that Rush Limbaugh's comments were incendiary and ugly? Typically when an apology is given, it's to rescind words or actions said or done to a person or a group of people. So does he now rescind the statement that he's the leader of the Republican Party?

Let's examine this from another angle. So, let's pretend we're Michael Steele. We get called by D.L. Hughley's people to interview about this comment, so of course we accept. This is a chance to reach out to D.L.'s audience and portray ourselves and the RNC as a party of change! I mean, come on, they just elected a Black dude as their leader, sheesh! So we satellite in, and who do we see? There's D.L. Hughley who's an accomplished Black Comedian, and there's Chuck D. an accomplished Black activist for human rights and the former front man for the historic and iconic group Public Enemy. So, being in the company of some brothas, we relax a bit. We remain professional, but we let our guard down and say what we really feel. So, cameras roll and we answer questions and let loose (as much as conservatively and educationally possible) and say "Yes it's incendiary, Yes it's ugly" and "Yes they deserved to die, and I hope they burn in hell!"

Sorry, that last one was Samuel L. Jackson.

I was taught as a kid that a man is only as good as his word, his word is his bond, and if he breaks his word then what good is he? That's my question to you or anyone; what good is Michael Steele? Let's be honest, we know why they picked him. Right now the RNC is like that 30 Rock episode where Alec Baldwin's character (Jack) attempts to recruit Tracy Morgan's character to become the celebrity face the Republican Party. I get what the RNC is trying to do with Steele but, you can't pick just any Black Republican. In the words of one of my favorite rappers, Jay-Z, he's alright, but he's not real. White people don't relate to him, Black people are looking at him out of the corner of their eye. The RNC might have screwed themselves for the next four years, if more people call for him to resign, they'll look just as bad as he did in his apology.

Violence...Domestically Speaking

2009-03-11T06:23:00.000-07:00

So, this whole Chris Brown and Rihanna situation has everyone talking about domestic violence. Everybody is in their business, ascribing to rumors that they secretly got married, they're back together, they're doing a song together, they're doing a book deal, they decided to paint themselves blue as a show of love for each other (ok, I made that one up). In all that's said, one theme I've continually heard is:

"A man should never hit a woman, ever!"

I'd like to add something to that, if I may. I believe pretty firmly that A man should never hit a woman, but I also believe:

"A woman should never hit a man, ever!"

For those of us who have lived in or near violent areas or situations and taken biology we know one principle of life is that like begets like. In violent situations this is also true because violence begets more violence. Now there have been reports that Rihanna started the fight that lead to her filing charges against Chris Brown. That may or may not be true. However, as a man, I believe that if a woman attacks you, there are two options: (1) If you can, walk away. The situation won't end well if you don't. (2) Fend her off without excessive force and call the authorities. Fighting back only puts you in a worse situation. For women if a man attacks, you have to disarm him and you know how. Twist, pull, kick repeatedly and do whatever it takes to get out of that situation. If he blacked your left eye, trust me, he'll black your right eye. If you don't believe me, stand there and wait for the second punch. For all women, I suggest enrolling in some sort of self defense class. Nobody's gonna fight for your life like you will so I suggest you learn some ways to preserve your existance.