The Soul of Masculinity

Gay Pride and then Sonique!!!

2010-08-31T07:57:00.003+02:00

Okay ladies and gentleman, it is that time of the year again, so pullout the feather boas, those skin-tight garments and your LGBT flags...IT's JOBURG 21st PRIDE!!

This year promises to be the biggest pride yet, with the organizers working there sexy butts off to make the event more spectacular than previous years. So I'm putting in a call to all to the LGBT community, that includes friends and family to come and take part and enjoy this what promises to be an absolutely fantastic day of celebration.

The theme for this years pride is I have to say AWESOME!!!

and I quote; " Highlighting the deteriorating human rights landscape for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people across Africa, Joburg Pride 2010 will be reminding the continent's people, politicians and religious leaders that: We're ALL African.

How cool is this theme?? We're ALL African!! The organizers of the Joburg Pride has really out done themselves this year, and I will be honored to join the ranks in the march form Zoo Lake through Rosebank and back to Zoo Lake.

Entrance to the Pride is free, and the event kick off around 9am at Zoo Lake. Bring friends and family as EVERYONE is invited to join this awesome day of celebration.

Okay so you are all pumped up and on a high because you are having so much fun, what to do after!? Well don't dispare, this year's Pride Official After-party will blow you away. British pop star and super sexy dance floor DJ Sonique will be back performing in South Africa. Catch Sonique at the official Joburg Pride after party on Saturday the 2nd October. She won the 2001 BRIT Award for British female solo artist and is best known for her chart topping tracks such as "It Feels So Good" and "I Put a Spell on You". Sonique will be supported by top SA DJs and she will be performing as well as spinning the decks accompanied by her sizzling touring dancers. Who better to have at your 21st Birthday Bash!!!

You can find more info at the official Joburg Pride website here and tickets for the after party will be available at Compu-Ticket here.

Hope to see you all there!!!

Peace

Masculine Soul

Socializing at gym...great tips for making friends.

2010-07-16T13:21:00.004+02:00

The gym is a place where all sorts of people come together to become healthier, more productive individuals. Your local gym isn't just a great place for working out; its also the perfect place to find a great exercise buddy or two. Here are some tips for easily forging new friendships while working off pounds:

Tip #1: Scope out the Gym

At any gym, you'll find a very interesting and diverse demographic of people: You have the busy moms rushing to get some exercise before school gets out, you have the wannabe-body builder types lifting weights and making funny faces in the corner; you have the creepy old men in short-shorts scoping out young women off to the side, and then you have the people who are at the gym simply to unwind, get healthy, and take a mental break from heir hectic lives.

Ask yourself what kind of gym-going people you'll get along with best, and scope out friendly-looking individuals as possibilities for your exercise friend. Exercise on a machine near somebody who looks nice, and say hello; if they want to talk, they'll start a conversation with you. If you really connect with your new acquaintance, you can trade numbers and meet at the gym or go out for coffee a couple times a week.

Tip #2: Initiate friendships in the Right Places

There are both appropriate and inappropriate places and times to start a gym friendship. The locker/shower room is NOT the right place to initiate a conversation with a stranger, while an exercise class would be a great place to find fun, health-oriented friends. Generally, people feel most comfortable in open areas with lots of people around; don't isolate anybody just so you can talk to them.

Tip #3: Be Friendly & Casual

Your gym friends will want to hear about your fitness goals, your hobbies, and your job, but they do not want to hear your lamentations about politics or have an abortion debate at the gym. By keeping your conversation light, upbeat, and friendly, people will be drawn to you and will feel like their day has been improved simply by being around you.

Tip #4: Choose Mutually Beneficial Friendships

When finding gym friends, choose somebody who has similar goals to yours. For example, if you're a 300 pound woman trying to lose 100 pounds, a skinny exercise partner would probably be more depressing than motivational.

Tip #5: Have Some Alone Time, too.

Going to the gym is about becoming more healthy with new friend, but its also about individual peace and self-awareness. Don't always spend time with people at the gym; instead, reserve some gym time each week where you can simply exercise and think to yourself about anything and everything.

Making new friends at your local gym can be daunting at first, but you'll soon become comfortable with talking and hanging out with a variety of gym-goers. However you choose to make friends at your local fitness facility, remember to keep it casual, have fun, and stay healthy

The "How To" of Coming Out!!

2010-06-08T11:47:00.004+02:00

Okay, so I have a friend that recently come out to his parents and they did not take it very well, so I decided to write an article to assist with the process as there are many people going through the same thing. So here it is.....

What does coming out mean?

Coming out is the process of personally accepting your sexuality and disclosing it to yourself, family, co-workers and friends. Coming out is different for every gay or bisexual person since there are varying degrees of sexuality and the circumstances that surround our lifestyles differ. For more information regarding the levels (see Kinsey Scale).

Coming out is a confusing time for many people. Accepting your sexuality (or coming out to yourself) can bring about a number of fears. Will your family or friends stop loving you? Will you ever get married or have children? Will you be discriminated against or made fun of? These are all valid concerns mainly rooted in the fear of the unknown; which is way many reference coming out as being reborn. This is an opportunity for you to look introspectively and re-evaluate who you are and who you want to be.

Create a personal inventory when coming out.

Sure some gay people experience rejection when they come out, but many also find a loving and accepting support system to a fulfilling gay lifestyle. Even so, happiness starts from within. Getting to know yourself is key part of the process.

Though being gay doesn't define you, it is a new part of your life. You can still be the same person you've always been, but take some "me" time to evaluate your transition. You don't have to become a complete hermit, but concentrate on your own well being and feelings. This will make you stronger, more confident and sure of yourself. Learn as much as you can about yourself and what YOU want your gay lifestyle to be.

Take personal inventory of your life. Write down any anger, resentment, fears and guilt that you may have about your existing life. Don't forget the positive characteristics that also make you who you are today. Once you've done that, list your life goals, priorities and the things that make you happy (getting married, having children, being single, enjoying nature, art, dancing, etc.) What you are identifying is what kind of gay person you want to be.

This seems like a silly exercise at first, but will be beneficial in the long run. Forgive yourself for any anger, resentment and guilt you may have for yourself and others and concentrate on your positive qualities. Create a new life for yourself by shaping it around your new life goals. Even as a gay person these things are possible.

Know That You Are NOT Alone!

It doesn't matter if you live in a small town or large metropolitan city, nothing can be more isolating than first coming out. You can be surrounded by familiar people and still feel you are the only one that is "different." We have all felt these feeling when first coming out and there are millions more just like you that are currently feeling the same. There are many resources such as gay community centers and gay online communities, where you can find others dealing with similar issues.

Deal With Stereotypes, Discrimination and Hate Against Gays.

Many gay men don't fit into existing stereotypes associated with queer people, but feel the pressure to do so by society or even other gay people. Rest assured, the gay community is just as diverse as any other community and each gay man is an individual.

Unfortunately, this doesn't always prevent things like name calling. You may be thinking whoever coined the term "words will never hurt me" obviously was never called a queer in a crowded room, but you do have an opportunity to take control; of the situation. Maybe not by force or that cute one liner, but by protecting your self esteem and your safety. Tune out others who may be around. Any person worth your friendship will see the haters for what they are....cowards. Even amongst laughs try not to feed into he stereotypes (learn about internalized homophobia). Be proud of the person you are and know that your offender's comments or actions are based on their lack of understanding and fear, not your deficiency. Stand tall or flee the scene, just make safety (and not your pride) your top priority. Sometimes the bravest of the battle is the one who can walk away from the ignorance. Seek solace in those around you that do accept you and always try and prevent a gay bashing.

Tell Family and Friends When You are Ready

Every day or bisexual man considers hoe their family and friends will react to the news that they are gay. will your family reject you? Will your friends suddenly feel uncomfortable. Will you lose good friends or family members? These are valid questions that we must consider and unfortunately, there is no way to predict how your loved ones will react to you sexuality. The most important thing to consider is your own health and well being.

Come out to family and friends at a pace that YOU are comfortable with. There is no set timeline or proper order of disclosure and each person's situation is different. Nonetheless, the one common thread amongst men is the liberation they feel once they no longer have to hide their feelings. Keeping your sexuality buried can be devastating to your stability in the long run.

Surround yourself with as many positive influences, just in case your folks don't take the neews so well. Try and educate your family about your lifestyle and find a support program at the local gay community center.

Don't give up on marriage and children.

many of us grow up with dreams of a happy committed relationship and a house full of children, Contrary to popular belief, being gay does not condemn you to a life alone without kids. Gay marriage, civil unions or domestic partnerships is afforded to gays in many countries. Though legal protection is best, many gay men around the world have families that include stable and longterm relationships and natural-born or adopted children.

Learn more about the many places where gay marriage is legal and how to become a gay parent.

Learn about gay love, relationships and sex.

Gay men share unique experiences when it comes to gay love, relationships and sex. Without societal "norms" for gay people, some can feel isolated or confused when it comes to matters of the heart. Here are a few resources to help guide you towards healthy gay love and relationships.

Gay Love & Sex Advice

About Anal Sex

Understanding HIV & AIDS

Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Coming out is an experience shared by many gay, bisexual, lesbian and transgender people. You are not alone and there is help available.

There are many resources available for you and your family and friends. Browse the Gay Life site or the discussion forum for advice and information. If you still don't find the answers to your questions, feel free to contact your Gay Life guide with any concerns or just to say hello. Happy coming out and congratulations on this major life step.

The Imprint Hypothesis of Sexual Preference

2009-11-25T14:45:00.001+02:00

The whole concept of sexual orientation, whether 'heterosexual' or 'homosexual', is a social delusion. People believe they have an 'orientation' because that is the prevailing myth in our society and people just assume it is true.
No one is born with the sexual attractions that they manifest later in life. If you are a 'heterosexual', why are you not attracted to all members of the opposite sex, under all circumstances? The reality is, you are sexually aroused by certain specific members of the opposite sex, and only under specific circumstances. Let's say you are powerfully sexually aroused by long-haired Latino girls who dress punk, when you see them dancing. Can anyone seriously believe that information this specific is coded in your genes? Instead of a generalized sexual orientation, what people really have are Sexual and Affection Arousal Cue Imprints. These are very specific, and are not genetic at all, whether they are 'heterosexual' or 'homosexual' in nature. You cannot "choose" what your Arousal Cue Imprints will be, they are simply an accident of the process of development. Neither can they be changed, once acquired - by force of will, prayer, or divine intervention.
Because most people have a very long list of Arousal Cue Imprints, and many of them are slight variations of the others, they become blurred together in our minds, and we come to see them as a generalized 'orientation'. However, careful observation of what specifically causes a sexual or affection response in you will reveal that your Arousal Cue Imprints are indeed very specific.
Sexual and Affection Arousal Cue Imprints account for all manifestations of sexual desire, there are no exceptions. Therefore, this hypothesis explains things that cannot otherwise be explained by the theories of "genetics" or "choice". For example, the existence of 'bi-sexual' persons. If 'heterosexuality' and 'homosexuality' are genetic, where do 'bisexuals' come from? Similarly, if sexual arousal is a matter of 'choice', then why can't you just choose to be sexually aroused by office furniture? Or your grandparents? Try 'choosing' to be sexually aroused by Rosie O'donnel or George Bush Sr., and see what happens. This theory also accounts for sexual attractions considered to be deviancy like bestiality, rubber and leather fetishes, sado-masochism, etc. No one 'chooses' to be aroused by these things, and it is simply ridiculous to think that they might be genetically coded.
You have the Sexual and Affection Arousal Cues that are specific to you, because a sub-conscious process that you cannot directly observe recorded them, in some manner, at some point prior to your achieving physical maturity. Please note that this does not mean that you will have a conscious memory of the event which created your Imprint(s), nor does this process necessarily require a rational correspondence between an event and it's corresponding Imprint. In other words, you don't have to be seduced by a blond German barmaid as a child in order to be aroused by blond German barmaids in later life. The correspondence may be quite oblique, but then, that is how the subconscious works.
Many other species have great difficulty achieving sexual arousal unless certain specific cues are present in their environment; seasonal cues, a specific geographic location, the presence of pheromones from another of their species which is in “heat”, etc. Human beings do not suffer from any such limitations to our ability to become sexually aroused (obviously). We are capable of becoming aroused and mating in virtually any circumstance. It seems likely that at some point in our evolution we developed a subconscious facility which ‘imprints’ aspects of our immediate environment as arousal cues, so that we would not be tied to ancient environmental cues in order to achieve arousal. This has quite obviously been a very successful strategy as, despite our best efforts to annihilate each other over thousands of years, there are now over 6 billion of us on the planet. The ‘polymorphously perverse’ behavior of some other primates suggests that this may be a trait shared by all primates.
Instead of being restricted to cycles of “heat” or ancient ‘mating grounds’, humans are capable of achieving arousal at any time, in any location. This is largely because we do not in fact inherit specific arousal cues genetically, but instead possess a subconscious function which ‘imprints’ things we encounter in our early lives (and are therefore likely to encounter in our later lives) . This subconscious function may be triggered by intense emotion, and is capable of recording not only visual images of what is taking place at the time, but also tactile and olfactory input, emotional states, and such abstract things as relationship dynamics like submission and dominance. The subconscious function casts as wide a net as possible, and thus it may end up imprinting things as diverse as sexual organs, other body parts, bodily functions, clothing styles, hair color, inanimate objects, pets, a piece of music, the age or gender of another person present at the time, an emotional state, even a social circumstance such as humiliation.
When it casts it’s net in this seemingly indiscriminate manner, it is not hoping to direct us to attempt to mate with the things it imprints. It is not hoping to cause us to attempt to mate with rubber boots, for example. It is simply recording things from our immediate environment, the presence of which in later life may trigger arousal. This is why the existence of homosexual imprints is not a contradiction of its purpose. It is a fortunate thing for the gene pool when, as a result of a male’s arousal he ends up depositing semen in a fertile female. However, the subconscious function being described here doesn’t care what we do with our arousal. That isn’t it’s department, so to speak. It is concerned solely that we should become aroused, and by as many things in our environment as possible. A male who becomes aroused by the sight or the thought of other males genitalia is not a failure of this function. He is aroused, and that is what matters to this subconscious function. In point of fact, many homosexually inclined persons do end up fathering children. They are able to generate sufficiently arousing mental images of other males to enable them to fulfill the male function in intercourse and impregnate a woman. In the course of random chance, there will be some persons who end up predominantly or exclusively with imprints for people of the same sex. If they choose to never put their arousal to the purpose of creating children, that is unfortunate for the gene pool but is hardly likely to result in extinction.
The choice of what to do with our arousal is left to so-called “higher functions”, which determine our sense of morality. Some imprints are quite unfortunate and may generate attractions that ought not to ever be acted upon – such as attractions to minor persons or to violence. Once again, however, the subconscious function that imprints these things as attractions is unconcerned with morality. It cares not at all whether our arousal ultimately leads to other people being harmed or traumatized. It is up to us as individuals to harness our rational function and exercise control over our impulses if they may lead to harm to others.

Born GAY?

2009-11-25T14:32:00.003+02:00

Is being born gay Curable?

Psychologists and psychiatrists have been going through this kind of stuff for years. Whether someone is gay because of their nature or nurture--or both--is unimportant. You can't "make" someone gay no more than you can "make" someone straight. Of course environmental factors affect our sexuality. But if you start trying to set this standard of "OK, let's get rid of the alcoholic father and see what happens" or "Let's make sure he has plenty of girls around him" or "Let's make sure we don't let him play with dolls" or "Let's make sure he gets plenty of love from his dad," then you start trying to come up with a cause for homosexuality, and the fact is, as soon as you meet someone who says, "My father wasn't affectionate with me, so I think that's why I'm gay," then you will meet someone else who will say, "I had a wonderful relationship with my dad growing up, and I'm still gay." You just can't generalize these types of things. Ultimately what you end up doing is trying to figure out how to stop it--like it's a disease or something--instead of trying to help people ACCEPT themselves for who they are and help nurture them into healthy relationships.
Sexuality is such a complicated issue. You're not going to come up with a simple "fix-it" solution for this, which seems to be what you're implying.
For what it's worth, I have an alcoholic father who was always affectionate with me growing up, although he certainly wasn't the best role model. My mother was more nurturing in that respect. Still, I never felt like I was unloved. One of my closest friends has a very close relationship with his father yet a turbulent one with his mother. And yet another friend of mine--actually a former friend--has always had a wonderful relationship with both parents growing up. And we all ended up gay!

You see the problem we have is; we are trying first to find a cure without knowing the cause. Until we do it just doesn't matter "why". I don't think we choose to be gay, we just are (for what ever reason). I would have to ask, if gayness is environmental then shouldn't all siblings either be gay or straight? Why would one or two of a family be gay and the rest striaght? What if we found that all gayness was caused by our environment. Then what? If we choose to still be gay, shouldn't that be allowed? If the cause was from environment then it seems only babies could be "cured." But I am not arguing the cause because we just don't know.
If one is "seeking the love of a man because one never received love from his father" then he needs counseling ONLY if he is unhappy with his life. If he is happy why worry about it? Just to change him? Just to make him straight? That doesn't make any sense to me. However, I don't feel that all these "excuses" people come up with are legitimate. We should be allowed to "be" and not have to "be" enabled to choose a less biased orientation. There should be no "less biased" orientations. In that belief is where the problem lies. It shouldn't matter our orientation. It should matter that we live our lives to the fullest, to be our best and to be happy.

The steamy history of cruising

2009-08-19T10:14:00.004+02:00

Leaving aside the occasional foot fungus, there is a relatively safe quality to the kind of fun we have in short bursts in the steam room, however. Very rarely do you see actual intercourse occur; such activity is greeted with shock generally. In a room that often seems frightened of its own shadows, a strange form of puritanical eroticism evolves. The mere sight of exposed flesh takes on a heightened sense of illicit thrill. There may be subtle dangers lurking in the fog of post-gym relaxation. Gym dalliances can be "very male in as much as we, like little doggies on a walk, are spraying our scent to denote ownership and dominance," Murray notes. "All this is to say that it’s a potent activity for us because it allows us to express, at one go, both our identities as powerful men and as rejectable sissies and weaklings."Isn’t this just a more public version of our private sex lives? A classic male combo of strength and vulnerability, writ large on a steamy window? After all, bathhouse encounters have been an integral part of the gay experience in America for over a hundred years. The infamous hospitality of the local YMCA is the stuff of legend of course, but there were also the seaside nooks of Coney Island and the Russian baths of Manhattan, which evolved into the overtly sexual scenes of the Wall Street Sauna and Man’s Country in New York. The Slot in San Francisco catered to the emerging bondage scene, while the Club Bath chain created the first franchise system for baths, adding amenities such as televisions and vending machines, and boasting 500,000 members by the early seventies. As gay sex gradually decriminalized itself, these surreptitious venues became less of a necessity and more of a naughty luxury for the urban party elite. The gym steam room, with its workaday necessity in many of our lives, remains one of the few daily reminders of this furtive history. Perhaps it represents a banal lifeline to a past that many of us either remember fondly or have only heard about in excited whispers.This trip down memory lane is most likely a pale parallel, both in pleasures found and risks taken. But risks do remain, for both gym buffs and management alike. In 2005, a man sued Manhattan’s David Barton gym for $25,000, claiming that the management did little to nothing to curb sexual activity in the locker rooms. The gym had been the subject of rumors before. The New York Blade ran a story a few years earlier about reports of cruising in the gym, when a gay patron complained.Later that year, a Gold’s Gym in the Castro district closed its doors indefinitely after receiving numerous complaints and a health department warning. They re-opened, only to be shut down again in 2007, the same year the Equinox chain got slammed with complaints from their cleaning staff about lewd and embarrassing (not to mention messy) behavior at their locations. The cleaning staff, all Hispanic men, complained about having to clean male splooge. The negative publicity associated with these incidents caused a backlash within the gay community itself against this type of behavior.Now policed from within as well as from outside authorities, those of us who choose to let it all hang out while we sweat at the gym face an odd sort of dilemma. How do you balance complex primal needs with those of the community? Has the door to the steam room finally swung open permanently, letting in the cold air of reality once and for all? Or can those of us who still choose to let the rush of blissful ignorance wash over us after a strenuous workout still enjoy a little down time with the boys without making a federal case out of it? Only time will tell, but one thing is certain: Steam isn’t the only pressure felt in these dens of complexity.

Much ado about nothing?

2009-08-19T10:12:00.002+02:00

Gym culture is now such an ingrained part of the gay world in major cities that it is tempting to see all of this as much ado about nothing. Boys will be boys, and we’ve all seen enough wedding bands on the hands groping at us to think that even straight men aren’t completely immune to the siren song of misty sexual encounters. There is an undeniable and potent veil of anonymity drawn when we enter the small wooden rooms that smell of toasted flesh. Furtive glances size up the room’s inhabitants as your hands hover close to the opening in your towel, just waiting for the right signals from the others present to cross the line from socially acceptable to indecent.When the door opens, of course, hands instinctively fly away from barely exposed areas. The outside world, with all of its conventions and insecurities, rushes in with the clammy air of too many showers. The newcomer is quickly sized up, and once the door seals again order is restored, and the game continues apace. It is a game with many potential pleasures and few realized ones, which only adds to the frustrating allure of such a dicey public experience. Unlike an actual sex club or backroom, there are many different wild cards that must be watched for in our predominantly gay steam rooms. There are some men who seem to enjoy the experience in a completely non- sexual manner. They are often the ones you see in their flip-flops with several towels carefully tucked to avoid accidental exposure, doing breathing exercises. Or the absurdly hot but painfully obvious straight men who seem to have no trouble at all opening their towels and doing stretches in front of everyone, driving the room crazy with thwarted lust. Occasionally, a gay man himself will surprise the room by shaming everyone back into concealing themselves again. And it’s hard not to notice the undercover gym plants, sent to police the area. These men are usually about as subtle as an undercover cop at a bus station men’s room, sometimes even wearing shorts and sandals out of discomfort with their bawdy chore. But sometimes the stars align and you have one of those experiences that makes you believe in anonymous public sex again. That adorable muscular boy you saw in the free weight area wanders in while you are alone and smiles, opening his towel and inviting you to explore the heady mysteries of instinctual attraction with him. No one bothers you as time and space seem to melt away and afford you the intoxicating luxury of pure sensual pleasure with a beautiful stranger. It happens maybe one out of every fifty trips to the steam room, but it’s enough to keep you coming back for more, just in case. But what drives many of us to these encounters? Are the infrequent successes worth the potentially embarrassing and psychologically damaging side effects? Is this merely harmless fun - what you can’t see very well can’t hurt you? "There are always two sides of every coin," says Christopher Murray, a Manhattan- based therapist specializing in gay issues. "Just as much as we are aggressively, and perhaps in a subtle way sadistically, showing ourselves to ourselves as dominant, we are also flirting with disaster- by risking exposure, humiliation, rejection, as well as physical and emotional violence."

The intricate politics of steam room culture

2009-08-19T09:59:00.002+02:00

There’s simply no denying it-something about the combination of hot steam, ill-fitting towels, and the relaxing glow of post-workout exhaustion gets the male juices flowing. Depending on how you view it, steam room sex is either the last hurrah of liberating seventies-era gay culture or a grim reminder of that era’s excesses and dangers, both psychological and physical. Anecdotally of course, it’s hard to visit any major gym locker room in one of our urban centers without coming away thinking we favor the former, not the latter view. Steam room dalliances are such an inherent part of the big city gym experience that permanent signage appears next to most sauna and steam room doors warning that any inappropriate activity will result in banishment from the gym and the possibility that the local Department of Health will shut down the locker room amenities altogether.

Fraternities - Last Part

2009-07-17T09:44:00.004+02:00

5 Steps to Preventing Hazing During the Pledging Process at Your College Campus

Fraternity hazing has become a serious problem through out the world. Hazing on a college campus usually occurs during the pledging process. Hazing is defined as an act that is required of an individual who wants to join specific group. These actions are usually humiliating and can lead to serious injury or death. It is important to remember that while a pleading process is normal it is not normal or acceptable to make anyone do something they do not want to do or something that could end up hurting or even killing them. Pledging a fraternity or sorority is supposed to be a fun experience. Something to look back on and laugh. The ritual of hazing during the pledging process has become grossly unacceptable and dangerous. There are a few things you can do to help prevent this type of hazing from being done on your college campus during pledging.

The first thing you can do is educate yourself and those around you about the pledging process and the hazing rituals of your campus. A lot of people don’t think of hazing as a serious problem. So it is so important to learn as much as you can and help those who don’t understand how the pledging process can turn very ugly, due to dangerous hazing rituals.
The next thing you can do is Research, read, and join hazing prevention groups. Most colleges and universities have anti-hazing groups associated with their Student Affairs Department. Stop Hazing is a national website dedicated to just that The last week of September is recognized as National Hazing Prevention Week and this would be the perfect time to get people involved. Get them to join some groups with you and learn more about pledging a fraternity or sorority.

Also recognize hazing. After you become educated, recognizing hazing will be much easier. You will be able to recognize hazing as any action that involves humiliation or injury to a person who is attempting to join a group. Hazing ranges from beatings, being urinated on, placed in a coffin, or forced to drink alcohol against their will. Start to become familiar with pledging schedules that way you’ll be able to know when you should be looking for any suspicious acts on your campus.
Also view hazing as a serious problem. Don’t just shrug it off as something that happens everywhere. There are plenty of fraternities and sororities who don’t have extreme hazing rituals during pledging. Most individuals believe if they can get away with dirty hazing practices once, that they can get away with it again. This maybe true, but what about the next time when something goes wrong, and the person pledging ends up seriously injured or dead.

The last thing you can do is report anything you think is not right. If you witness a hazing situation, report it to your to the proper person, like campus police or the school president. You are helping to potentially save someone’s life. Don’t hesitate to report anything that makes you uncomfortable or something you know is making the person pledging uncomfortable.

Fraternities - Part 5

2009-07-17T09:42:00.001+02:00

Fraternity and Sorority Secrets: Why the Secrets?

Fraternity Secrets and rituals are part of appeal of being in a fraternity or sorority. For centuries there has been an underground appeal to being in a sorority or fraternity because of the secret codes, handshakes, meetings etc. Fraternity secrets have caused a tremendous interest through out Greek history.
Being in a fraternity or sorority requires certain things of its members, a code of conduct if you will. These sorority and fraternity secrets have led to many rumors and guesses as to what goes on behind those doors during the initiation process. While each fraternity and sorority has their own rituals, there are certain codes that they all follow. Most people think of the actual initiation ceremony when then they think of sorority and fraternity secrets. This is due to different portrayals of sorority and fraternity secrets and rituals in movies. There seems to always be a cave lit by candles in these movies. However it is really the everyday where these sorority and fraternity secret codes are implemented. There are special rituals that all fraternities and sororities have for their “rush” process, weekly meetings, and monthly formal meetings. The sorority and fraternity secrets come into play with the fact that each ritual is written up in a handbook and kept under lock and key. Only the fraternity/sorority members are allowed access to it, and they are not allowed to discuss meetings with anyone who is not part of the fraternity/sorority.
Some of the most common sorority and fraternity secrets include handshakes, meeting locations, rushing techniques, songs and of course mottos in which all members must adhere to while in the sorority. These fraternity secrets are not meant for ill intent, but to merely keep up a practice that was introduced when the whole notion of fraternities first began. Fraternities and sororities are very much based on ritual and traditions. Having these sorority and fraternity secrets is just another way to keep the tradition alive.
It has been said these Sorority and Fraternity rituals have to be kept secret because if they were known they would be no more fraternities or sororities because they are conducting illegal activities. This is just a myth. The representation of history is all that comes with the use of these fraternity secrets. As mentioned earlier it is simply a way to honor the very beginning of fraternities and sororities and what they stood for. Fraternity and Sorority members feel that continuing with the tradition of these secret codes and ceremonies really enhances the brotherhood and sisterhood experience.
Fraternity and sorority members greatly value their fraternity secrets and find great pleasure in introducing new members to them. In a sense it feels as if they are passing down an age old secret and keeping the tradition alive for another year. These secrets are valued by each and every Greek member. The newest members quickly learn the value of these rituals and soon take on the pride that the oldest members feel on being honored with these secrets.

Fraternities - Part 4

2009-07-17T09:40:00.002+02:00

Living the Greek Life

Many of us wonder if the Greek Life is for us. Joining a fraternity or sorority is not for everyone. There are many reasons why joining a fraternity or sorority can be a life changing event. This article will tell you all about living the Greek life and help you make the decision about joining a fraternity and sorority.
Joining a fraternity or sorority brings many advantages to your life not only while in the fraternity/sorority but also in the future. You develop lasting friendships and relationships with everyone in your chapter. Living the Greek life also provides you with opportunities in the future, through the networking that is done during your time with the fraternity/sorority. You will spend a lot of time doing community service and charity events with your fraternity/sorority.
These events will introduce you to a lot of people who could help you in the future. Living the Greek life gives you a chance to really put yourself out there, doing this will help you get jobs in the future as well as allow you to help others find a career or simply have a contact for any given situation.
Living the Greek life also provides you with a full social calendar. In addition to the charity work a fraternity/sorority does, there are also social events on campus hosted by the fraternity/sorority. Here you will have a chance to meet new people and take part in another aspect of the college experience.
The Greek Life also promotes academic excellence. Many fraternities and sororities provide their members with tutoring and classes to help them exceed during their time at school. Each fraternity/sorority wants each of their members to strive to be the best they can be. Not only does having members with excellent grades boost the reputation of the fraternity/sorority, but it also says a lot about the character of the members of the fraternity/sorority.
Greek life has a common stereotype of being party central. Each frat/sorority house is filled with people just looking to have a good time and don’t care about school. But as mentioned above Greek life is so much more than. Living the Greek life really provides you with an excellent opportunity to get out in the community and help those who need it. In addition to that being part of the Greek Life gives you a tremendous opportunity to be part of a close knit group of people who are all there to support you and each other and help you succeed at college and in the future.
It is important to research the fraternity or sorority you are thinking about joining. There are few questions you should ask before pledging. First has the fraternity/sorority ever been barred from the campus? Also are there large fees or costs to pledge or join? Ask about the Alumni and what the organization is currently doing. Living the Greek life is supposed to be a rewarding and fun experience for you. So asking these questions and any others you feel appropriate is extremely important. You want to make sure you are making the right choice and choosing the fraternity/sorority that will provide you with the best experience possible.

Some of the best reasons for joining a Fraternity:

Social — The Greek social calendar is always full. Being part of a Fraternity gives you the chance to take part in great events and even plan new ones.

Philanthropy — All Greek societies give back to their communities in their own way. The fun part is dreaming up original ways to fundraise and get involved.

School Spirit — Most Greek societies owe their existence to the respective university to which they belong. As such, you will rarely find a group with more school spirit than a campus Fraternity.

History — Many Fraternities have longstanding and proud traditions spanning decades (even centuries!). Fraternity Brotherhood means belonging to something much larger than yourself.

Leadership — Learning opportunities are abound in the administration of a Fraternity. Though you may be part of a longstanding tradition, it is you who will take that tradition into the future.

Lifetime Membership — Friends come and go. Cliques rarely stand the test of time. A Fraternity can be a continuing source of friendship and guidance long after your University career is over.

Scholastic Achievement — Fraternities can teach the skills necessary to succeed in University through study groups and various other support mechanisms.

Networking — Lifetime membership insures that there is a large pool of alumni with whom many real world contacts can be made. These contacts can prove quite useful when the university days are over.

Ritual — Most Greek organizations have traditions or secrets that are not shared with the general public. This is often the most personal and loyal part of life in a Fraternity.

Brotherhood — The one element that no other scholastic organization can give you. The feelings of togetherness and support cannot be easily described. They must be discovered for yourself!

Fraternities - Part 3

2009-07-17T09:37:00.003+02:00

History of Fraternities and Sororities

The origin of the college fraternity dates back to December 5, 1776 with the creation of Phi Beta Kappa. Originally a secret society, it later changed in the 1830's to become an honorary fraternity.
In the early 1820's, several other fraternities were created, all utilized Greek letters, displayed a badge, had a ritual and were secret societies. By the turn of the century, 40 fraternities were in existence through out the North America. Since 1900 the development of fraternities has been so rapid that the 20th century organizations outnumber those established previously. World War's I & II were a great strain on the fraternity system. Most college aged men were fighting overseas and many chapters closed.
At the end of WW II, and largely because of the GI Bill, the "Golden Age" of Fraternities started as a result of the large influx of men into college. Universities with 40 fraternities, each with 50-150 men were not uncommon.
The sixties and seventies were a tough period for fraternities as the youth of those eras questioned the "establishment" — fraternities were seen as part of this "establishment." Today, college fraternities have returned to their roots. They exist to provide a "home away from home", encourage high scholastic achievement, foster community spirit, and teach much needed leadership skills.

The Fraternity of Freemasonry

Though acknowledged as the largest and oldest fraternity in the world, Freemasonry is not easily categorized. Like many of its imitators, it is often described as a secret society because its meetings are closed to the uninitiated and utilizes passwords and grips. Unlike so many of its imitators, such as those described below, Freemasonry is not a benefit society. Although it recognizes no class distinctions and accepts all men of good morals who have a belief in a Supreme Being, Freemasonry's membership has traditionally been drawn from among the intellectual and social elite in society from the first recorded acceptance of a speculative Masons - Robert Moray in 1641 and Elias Ashmole in 1646. The ritual and ceremonies of Freemasonry encourages the process of spiritual development in the initiate. Individual freethinking was and is the hallmark of Freemasonry.
The ceremonies of the various branches of the Masonic Fraternity - Blue Lodge, Knight Templar, Scottish Rite, and Shrine - have been described as archetypal: In the Blue Lodge a man becomes a builder or workman; in the Drill Hall (Asylum) of the Knights Templar, the Mason becomes a holy warrior; in the Cathedrals of the Scottish Rite, the Mason is schooled in esoteric traditions assuming the role of holy man or priest; and in the Ancient Arabic Order of Nobles of the Mystic Shrine a Mason experiments with the role of jester or fool. "From Lodge Room to Theatre: Meeting Spaces of the Scottish Rite," Theatre of the Fraternity, William D. Moore, pp. 48-49 (University Press of Mississippi, 1996).

Fraternities - Part 2

2009-07-17T09:34:00.005+02:00

Descriptive Analysis of the College Fraternity

Many people are unsure of whether or not being in a college fraternity/ sorority is right for them. Being in a college fraternity offers you a very unique college experience. Frats have been part of the college experience for hundreds of years now. There are many positive aspects to being in a college fraternity/sorority.
The most important aspect frats offer is the fact that you will have a large support system through out your college years. Being in a college fraternity/sorority guarantees you will always have someone to help you, coach you, support you and guide you in any situation whether it academic or personal. Frats and sororities pride themselves on being a tight knit group, willing to offer support and assistance to all of their “brothers” and “sisters.”
Many people are unsure of whether or not being in a college fraternity/ sorority is right for them. Being in a college fraternity offers you a very unique college experience. Frats have been part of the college experience for hundreds of years now. There are many positive aspects to being in a college fraternity/sorority.
The most important aspect frats offer is the fact that you will have a large support system through out your college years. Being in a college fraternity/sorority guarantees you will always have someone to help you, coach you, support you and guide you in any situation whether it academic or personal. Frats and sororities pride themselves on being a tight knit group, willing to offer support and assistance to all of their “brothers” and “sisters.”
Another great aspect of being part of a college fraternity is the way you will be helping the community. Frats and sororities all participate in community service and charitable events. Being in a college fraternity or sorority means giving back to the community. You will spend a lot of time not only raising money for your fraternity or sorority, but also helping out your community through some sort of community service. Frats have an allotted amount of time they must devote to community service, but most frats exceed that amount because they want to help as much as they can.
A college fraternity will have many rituals and traditions that its members will take part in. Some of these traditions and rituals were implemented when the first chapter was started. Having said this many frats have a strict policy that these rituals cannot be spoken about outside the fraternity house. Being part of a college fraternity means respecting these rituals and what they stand for. Frats will not tolerate anyone disrespecting these traditions, and it is not taken lightly when someone does.
Being part of a college fraternity/ sorority has become a necessity for many co-eds. During the “rush” process it is not uncommon to see lines of students outside the frats waiting their turn for an opportunity to pledge the college fraternity/sorority of their choice. Being part of a college fraternity has become a sort of cultural phenomenon. This is most likely due the portrayal of frats on TV and movies.
This depiction of frats has severely strayed from the actual college fraternity experience. The previously mentioned attributes are what frats are all about. It is not about wild parties, heavy drinking, and nasty hazing procedures. It is about brotherhood/sisterhood, helping the community, and helping each other strive for academic excellence and instilling leadership qualities in each an every member.
Being part of a college fraternity/sorority is considered to be an honor by those who wish to take part in the experience. They realize the dedication it takes and are hopeful that their time spent in the fraternity will result in positive changes in the community through the community service they are providing. Also these students understand the value of teamwork and what it is to help someone strive to be the best person they can be personally and academically.

Fraternities - Part 1

2009-07-17T09:20:00.004+02:00

Frat Parties to Hazing Rituals: Fraternity Myths

Frat house nightmares, wild parties, date rape drugs, binge drinking, hazing gone wrong. Fraternities have battled these accusations for many years. Fraternities are far more than what they are portrayed. There are many myths that a frat has to deal with on any given day. These myths have been circulating for years due to the exposure horrendous hazing practices and the overall idea of what people have on being in a frat.

Myth # 1: Wild Frat Parties

While lets face it most colleges, frat or no frat, are involved in some sort of partying. Fraternities have taken on the role of wild, crazy, and out of hand partying however. This has come about because of TV shows like “Greek”, and movies like “Animal House.” While fraternities do host parities, most or not of the gigantic proportions they are shown in. There have been frat parties that have gotten out of hand, but generally they are no different from any other party you may experience at college.

Myth # 2 Hazing

Unfortunately, there have been some fraternities that have taken the practice of hazing too far and it has resulted in serious injuries and death. However, many frat houses have banned the act of hazing and even more fraternities continue the act of hazing but they keep it as something fun and light. The initation process into a frat is something that has been done since fraternities first came on to the scene. These hazing rituals were never intended to take the seriousness or severity that they did. Unfortunately, the direction some fraternities went with hazing resulted in tragedy. This was highly publicized and any college frat around suffered as a result. There are many more fraternities who didn’t take advantage and go to far with there hazing, it was these frats that suffered. The news made it seem these extreme practices were happening in every frat. This however was not the case.

Myth #3 Binge Drinking

A frat house has the reputation of all of its members being binge drinkers and heavy partiers. While there are some members who do take part in these activities there are more who don’t. Again fraternities fall victim to negative publicity. The bad rep given to fraternities gives them a stereotype that every frat is going to be rallying for wild parties and heavy drinking.
These myths have seriously affected fraternities. Colleges have come down hard on existing frat houses and have even gone as far as closing that chapter entirely. While these are real circumstances, most often a frat is not about these things, but about striving for excellence and helping the community. Bad press, and the way fraternities are shown on tv and in movies are the reason these myths exist. If the true colors of a frat could be seen more often then perhaps these things would not be an issue. However for right now they are a problem and fraternities are working really hard to dispel these myths.

Getting naked for a cause.

2009-07-17T08:57:00.003+02:00

Keeping in mind that most guys would not consider taking of the shirts in public, I have the pleasure of presenting you the guys that WILL get nearly naked and have themself photographed for a great cause.

Sean Farris, Danny Cipriani and the British rugby boys, strip down to raise money for the Everyman campaign against male cancer.

Here are some of the pictures that got the campaign in full swing.

Male nudity in the cinema

2009-07-17T08:09:00.007+02:00

Since the earliest days of filmmaking male nudity on screen has been a topic of great interest as well as heated debate. Early XXth century mainstream opinion had it that male nudity was devoid of all eroticism.

If the well-defined borders of this taboo were even slightly tampered with, then the clearly visible male genitalia ruled out frontal nudity. But a closer search in the film archives reveals may exceptions to this rule, which for that very reason tickled the public’s imagination. That the gay community has a special interest in male nudity in film is beyond dispute. Those few moments actors or extras showed some of their naked physique were a sure cause for arousal. Contemporary society doesn’t raise an eyebrow at these images anymore, but in a period in which erotic pictures of men were few, the sight of a naked back or nude buns was a instant turn on.Some time ago, the not so up-to-date Movie Buff Checklist by Marvin Jones was published in the US. A lavishly illustrated reference book outlining the history of male nudity in film. The subject also inspired Dietmar Kreutzer, whose Starstrip - Der nackte Mann im Film (Starstrip - The naked man in film) was recently published by the German publishing house ‘Querverlag’. Even more lavishly illustrated than his American counterpart, the author has divided his book in several parts. Starting off with a historical survey, continuing with some 30 pages of colour pictures and separate reviews of a number of films. Kreutzer also devotes special attention to a number of remarkable actors and gives an alphabetical survey of dozens of films in which actors showed frontal nudity.

To start at the beginning, it was Eadweard Muybridge who in 1878 developed an apparatus which could move pictures. For his movement studies he regularly used nude male models. In Germany, Ottomar Anschütz traveled the country with a fair and a circus to show the first predecessor of cinema. Max and Emil Skladanowsky applied for a patent for their ‘cinema apparatus’ and the brothers Lumière did the same in France. In 1896, America witnessed the birth of cinema by the skilful hands of Thomas Edison. It was considered a public disgrace, an evil invention, and an ideal black sheep for moralists and religious fanatics. Murder, bloodshed, divorce, temptation, abduction, cautious eroticism .... reasons enough to demand an official ban. But despite this opposition, cinema was here to stay and soon filmmakers were sailing close to the wind. NudityEarly XXth century society was so riddled with moralistic claptrap, that even the smallest hint at eroticism on the silver screen demanded an acceptable excuse. ‘Instruction’ being one. Thus Traffic in Sounds was made in 1913, a movie about white slavery; cause enough for openly showing sexually laden images. Antiquity also offered ample opportunity for much thinly veiled eroticism. Ancient Egypt, the Romans, the Greeks were a sure guarantee for some naked skin, wrapped in a historical tale. Just think of Ramon Navarro in “Ben Hur” (1925). But since 1918 also the many Tarzan movies, for which public attention only began waning in the seventies when male nudity was fast becoming an accepted part of the art of filmmaking. Since the early twenties, nudity spotting can be divided into two parts. Anonymous nudity, with hundreds of examples in thousands of movies, and the famous nude. Around 1930 the star cult began in the film industry. The naked torso of Rudolph Valentino caused more hearts to skip a beat with both men and women than the well shaped torso of an unknown extra in the umpteenth historical movie. Despite the discretion of most of the filmmakers, censorship couldn’t be stopped from doing its nasty job. Nevertheless, nude scenes could be appreciated with some regularity on screen, scenes which should have ended on the floor of the montage studio.

In The Big Parade (1925) Tom O’Brien and Karl Dane can be admired bathing in the nude and in Wings a number of recrutes can be seen totally naked (not frontally of course) in the background. Also nude pictures of famous movie stars started circulating. Blond Venus (1932) with Marlene Dietrich signalled the end of this era of openness. US film tycoons and politicians decided they’d better put a stop to all this blatant display of failing morality. But nudity was not to be banned from the silver screen. Famous actors were thinking twice about shedding outer garments, but big productions like Dante’s Inferno show a wealth of voluptuous ‘functional’ nudity. Europe sailed a different course. In France for instance Jean-Louis Barrault could be seen totally naked in Drôle de Drame (1937). In the American version the scene has simply been cut. Not all European countries were as liberal as ‘la douce France’, but in general the Old World granted the (partially) naked body more visiblity. As long as it could be excused as art.

Lustobject

Meanwhile in the US, the Hays Office had been set up. A bathing scene got cut from All Quiet On The Western Front (1932) and a phallic shaped tower disappeared from Casablanca (1942). As long as sexuality remained in the safe borders of monogamy it could be referred to. All other nudity was strictly banned. Except, strangely enough, in military instruction films showing naked recrutes. Also kissing was subject to strict rules. When filming a kiss, representatives of the Hays Office were present in the studio, stopwatch in hand. But creativity could not be stifled. Sex bomb Raquel Welch is fondling quite a number of phallic shaped objecrs in her movies and beer foams effervescently when Rita hayworth struts her stuff in Miss Sadie Thomson (1953). Censorship fanatics could not control audience reactions though. Thousands fainted at the mere sight of Valentino’s brooding good looks and scenes of similar intensity could be witnessed when wild one Marlon Brandon or rebel James Dean spread their male charm in the early fifties. Both were oozing sex appeal from every pore, without having to shed one piece of their clothing. The public began licking its chops over actors as lust objects. For the time being they had to make do with a dozen half-naked gymnasts gayly prancing around Jane Russell when she chants her way through this for the period more than delectable display of male charm in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.

Yet more than a naked male torso now and then, like Yul Brynner in Solomon and Sheba (1959), wasn’t shown. Hairy legs weren’t a turn on, as unfortunately they still aren’t. Besides, the camera would then also have to register the inevitable bump pressing promisingly against the cloth covering the male groin. With the jeans this problem disappeared quickly, since now could be suggested what couldn’t be openly shown. The audience had to make the best of a naked set of male buns now and then, but more often than not male actors remained respectably dressed while women in the same scene were prancing or lounging around in their birth suits.

Feeling out

But the lure of male nudity could not be put on hold. More and more often well known actors showed more and more skin in sometimes mere splits of a second. Christoffer Jones in Three in the Attic (1968), Malcolm McDowell in If (1968) and last but certainly not least the to die for Alain Delon. Followed suit by Mathieu Carrière, and Robert de Niro together with Gerard Depardieu (Novecento, 1976). At times special editions were made for the American market. If, for instance, in which as punishment McDowell is put under a cold shower, has another less nude version for jealously guarded US eyes. But one day some daring actors took the big step and went for frontal nudity: Jan-Michael Vincent, Perry King, Peter Firth. And eventually no attractive young actor on the rise could get away without giving the cinema audience at least a taste of his physical ‘talent’. Nude scenes were added even after contracts had been signed. These days a young actor better has some of his nude self present in his portfolio. Parts can be gotten quicker with some promise of erotic delights. Once the role has been landed the fight over how much, or better how little nudity can begin. Undressing remains fascinating. Andy Warhol loved to play with general decency boundaries. In Europe filmmmakers like Luchino Visconti and Pier Paolo Pasolini displayed tasteful male nudity in their masterpieces. Swedish films even have a reputation to defend of uninhibited display of nudity, though up north they aren’t that uninhibited any longer. Although boundaries of the permissible have shifted, male frontal nudity will still make a noticeable stir.

The same taboo still prompts directors to cut frontal shots just above the pubic hair. Or to ask the actor to give us his rear. Director Larry Clark has deicided to do things differently and in his latest production gives it to us in all its pornographic detail, erections and all. Of unknown actors, admitted, but who knows one day we’ll behold Brad Pitt rise from his bedside, his family jewels risen likewise in salute of the morning sun.

Starstrip

With born and bred German profundity, the author of Starstrip gives us an in- depth analysis of the naked man in cinematic history in clear, chronological order. There’s enough to enjoy. Certainly also the short biographies of world famous stars are worth reading. The author did have his eye turned internationally; the number of for us unknown German actors is negligible. The biggest problem Starstrip poses is that all the movies have been classified according to their German title. Which asks for a search machine on your pc to trace each movie’s original title. By means of different examples, a part of cinematic history is sketched in a surprisingly entertaining, informative way. After the scientific approach, the book shows a series of colour pictures. Unfortunately the number of colour photos of frontally nude actors are few. In the third part of the book, classifying dozens of movies with frontally nude actors alphabetically, also dozens of stamp sized pictures have been printed. Starstrip, der nackte Mann im Film by Dietmar Kreutzer, published by Quer Verlag in Berlin (www.querverlag.de)

Photo that will make excellent Wallpapers

2009-07-17T07:55:00.004+02:00

Sorry guys and girls, I have been travelling America, and have not had the time to post on my blog for awhile.

Here are some of pictures that will make great wallpapers, to make up for that.

Enjoy

Life As A Gay Porn Star by Jack Mauro Part 1

2009-07-07T07:25:00.006+02:00

The guy - maybe twenty-five, way too tanned, and naked - was on his back, on the coffee table. His hands hard-gripped the table sides, and his legs were splayed up and out in rigid right angles. Between them his bulls eye, my target, awaited, while two men in khakis down to their ankles looked on, engaged in synchronized cock stroking like a pair of enthusiastic back-up singers.This was to be my first on-screen fuck. “Do it, man. Give it to me,” Coffee Table begged -- or so I called him, since that (and his hole) was about all I knew of him at the time.But alas, my dick was as cuddly and soft as an old fleece sock just pulled from the dryer. The director tapped his watch in my direction. This did not help. If cocks could giggle, mine would have just then.The gay porn business. As a big Hollywood star once said – about, admittedly, a different genre – it’s not as glamorous as it looks. I know. I performed in a total of four adult all-male films. Then I retired from the industry, taking with me nothing but memories, a couple of clippings, and a souvenir UPS shirt still sticky with someone else’s man love. We’ll say it all happened in the South, because it did. We won’t say much more about the specifics than that, though. Oh, I dread being known for this work, all right. But not for the reasons that might first spring to mind. The fucking is not the issue. In my eyes a good ninety-five percent of what we all do to earn a buck is generally vapid, often soulless, and almost always completely unnecessary to the well-being of the world at large. Giving a blow job on film, then, all things considered, is something close to a calling. Like teaching, or writing opera. No, the sex isn’t my shame. It’s how awful I was at it. But I’m getting ahead of myself. (Hey, it’s an occupational hazard.) It was the mid-nineties, and I finally contacted a company that was seeking ‘models’ for their all-male movies. This decision to act - I’d thought about it for some time - was triggered by an article in The New Yorker. Yes, The New Yorker. Thousands of wholesome, degree-holding men were waiting at the doors of porn producers, it said, a veritable army of Americana eager to obtain employment in the adult film trade, and unconcerned with anything but the competition and staying hard under hot lights. It was business, pure and simple, and clearly more exciting than waiting tables until the right engineering position arrived. Moreover: these men were after straight porn work, a field in which traditional career bias is reversed and the men are the oppressed. There were a few big male names, sure. (I especially liked a co-star’s assessment of TT Boy as ‘a life support system for a cock’.) By and large, though, the guys are paid less and abused more in straight porn. OK, I thought. Better to work where no such bias could exist. It was encouraging, too, to think that liking dick might just pay off at last. If we don’t get the football scholarships, we get the bigger dressing rooms.I wrote a letter and a friendly, handwritten reply came. Would I send photographs? And what action did I get into? Talk about a welcoming business, I thought. IBM doesn’t ask what type of guy you want to fuck. IBM probably makes everyone bottom. I borrowed a camera, did a thousand push-ups, and clicked. A few weeks later I rang the bell of the comfortable, suburban house of the director. The summer sun was brutal on my back, but I was fine. I was feeling large. Hot lights? I laugh at hot lights, pal. Producer/director John answered the door, shirtless and pretty buff himself. I wanted to present, I remember, a firm, hard handshake. But I overshot the mark and grabbed his forearm. Nerves had led to premature ejaculation of greeting.For the record: the dwelling of a gay porn filmmaker is not appreciably different from that of any other well-off gay man. There was interesting art on the walls, nice furniture, books, and everything. A lot of which you’ve seen, in fact, if you’ve watched any gay porn at all. Those aren’t MGM sets they’re fucking on; more often than not, it’s the director’s spare room, and that in itself explains why a great deal of the cock sucking and ass eating you see on your screen takes place on white sofas, dangerously near interesting floor plant arrangements and impressionist art.His closet told a different story. Dozens of leather police jackets bullied khaki delivery-guy shirts for rod space. Jackboots were piled high on the floor, with military fatigues stacked in rows like…well, soldiers. Helmets and sunglasses filled the shelves above. And the whole space was thick with the scents of sweat and cum. If you held your nose, the view in that closet was all about trucks, bikes and platoons. If you breathed in, it was a world of truck drivers stopping to gang fuck the biker on the road by the army base.I tried on the soldier, the delivery guy, the cop. With each outfit John would ask me to either stroke my dick, move my hips like I was humping a jock boy, or both. This is the porn director’s equivalent to, Walk around the store a little bit, see how it feels. But, in the end, it was no contest. The cop was me. The shades alone gave John a raging hard-on. I liked the look, too. Pull over, baby, I whispered to the mirror. We went outside to his backyard, where tall privacy hedges shielded us from a neighbor mowing his lawn. In a strange variation on seduction, John had me ‘auditioning’ before I was actually aware of it. Legs astride a deck chair, black boots gleaming in the sun, I laid back as instructed to. John’s director’s hands were cupped around his eyes as lenses. He stood near me, stepped back, then inched in closer again. Then one hand dropped, unzipped, and pulled out his cock. The other hand continued adjusting the camera, as it were. I took my cue and opened wide. I’m not sure I gave head like real motorcycle cops give head. But, remember: I was flying blind, and without a script or technical advisor.The heat, though. Oh, the heat. It was something else. I was as suddenly impatient to be done as a bored housewife doing her Tuesday night duty. Head bobbing, sweat streaming over my sunglasses, I thought: you don’t know how hot hot lights can get, smartass. And why don’t I hear the sound of that lawn mower any more?But John was going crazy. He nearly dropped the ‘camera’, so frantically was he fucking my mouth. He grunted loudly, I spotted a piece of privacy shrubbery move a little, and a streaming blast of cum hit my cheek. Then I saw my name in lights.Once again inside the cool of the house, all was well. I was paid from a box of money on top of the closet shelf - Wardrobe and Accounting sharing the same space, I suppose - and we went upstairs to his office, to look over pictures of possible co-stars. I’ll take that one, I said. He has a young, Robert DeNiro quality I think I can work with. And what looks to be a truly spectacular ass. Motivation is motivation, however you come by it.I left John’s house feeling quite all right. I had performed well; a sticky battle scar on a leather collar was a screen test smeared with success. All that was left was my first movie, to be filmed in a week: a fake package delivery, three hard co-stars, a coffee table, and a late arriving stud who saved my erection and my salary. They don’t call it ‘the money shot’ for nothing, people. You earn it, and you earn it the hard way.

The Self Portrait

2009-06-22T09:02:00.012+02:00

So you looking for the perfect mate or that steamy one nightstand, but you do not feel like getting all dressed up and leaving the house tonight so you decide to look for love or lust on the internet.

So you start by searching for dating sites and find one that you like because their are beautiful pictures of gorgeous people that is most likely not even members on the site, but you still deside to join. You click on the sign-up button. You enter you nickname as "Hot10"Boy", but you know you are only 8" and you have not been a boy for nearly 15 years.

You get to the "Tell us something about yourself" you try to be mysterious and put something like - "If you want too know, drop me a line and find out for yourself"-

Okay so you have completed your profile now you have to upload a picture. You read that your profile will get more action if you have a picture on it. You go through all your pictures on your P.C. and you realise that you have nothing "sexy" to upload. You decided to take some to upload.

You get out your trusty carmera. You first run around the house looking for the best mirror to take the photo's in. You start of modestly with some smiles and different posses. Then looking at them you realise they are boring, or that the reflection of the flash has cover most of your face. So you decided to go to the best lit room in the house the bathroom. You close the door and take off your shirt. Looking at yourself in the mirror, you start to notice the small inperfections with yourself so you decide to take a lot of photo at different angles so that they are not obvious.

You start enjoying yourself and think that it is a great idea to have some naked pics of yourself to share with that naughty lusty lover you plan on meeting on the dating site tonight. The thought sends blood rushing to you member and you get some really nice pics of your member. Using something something in the bathroom to help future lovers realize the size of your member you grab the shaving cream and hold it next to your extended member. You then decide to be honest and change your nickname to "Hot8"Boy".

Okay you now have enough pics of yourself and you upload it to your computer. Since you started 3 hours have passed and you have yet to share a word with anybody. Okay so you have uploaded your favourite pics to your profile, you hit create.

You verify your e-mail address and you eagerly start searching through the 1000s of members. For the first time you get to see what other members pictures look like an you realise that yours is very poor quality and compared to other members and you wonder how they get the naughty pics without someone taking them. Then the tought hits you......the camera timer....DUH!!!!

Sites like Guys With iPhones have proven that the mirror pic isn't always that bad, but when taking self-portraits it's imperative that we remember that the ten-second timer is our best friend. If you own a digital camera and aren't familiar with this technological revolution, consult your manual or fool around until you discover the timer function. Found it? Now get ready to show off your sexy side.
When cruising the world of Manhunt, AdultFinder, etc. it's important that you feel confident. Having pictures you're proud of will help, and you definitely don't need a professional photographer to look smokin' hot. You can get shots of yourself in some rather sexy positions by simply placing the camera on an end table and sitting or lying on your bed.
Instead of taking a photo in the mirror, try using the timer and placing the camera away from the mirror facing you. You'll immediately be able to see whether a particular pose works for you and can adjust accordingly.
The best part? You're not wasting anyone's time but your own. You can take as many shots as you want and decide later which ones are the best. You can even try rotating a bunch of the pics and see which ones get the best reply.
You know your body better than anyone else, so with a little trial and error, experimentation with angles and a trusty timer... you'll be on your way to getting some ass faster than you can say "How big are you?

Mirror self portraits.

Timer Self Portraits

Life as a male escort.

2009-06-20T11:25:00.005+02:00

There is an urban myth that only drug dealers and escorts need two mobile phones, and I can tell you it's truer than you might think. As an escort, you learn to love and loathe that second phone in equal measure: the desire for it to ring because you want the money, followed by the inevitability of what it means once it does. The last-minute cancelling and lying to friends and family was something I never reconciled myself to.
I'm not what people expect: I've got a masters degree in music, a comfortable and loving family background, and a real job - broadly speaking, I work in the creative industry, in an area rich in job satisfaction if not remuneration. No excuse, but that was how I justified my night-time adventures to myself.
It was through my job that I first came into contact with an escort. I was intrigued - it seemed so easy and financially rewarding. He worked for an agency that served some of the richest men in London. Within a month, I was on the books. I'd kept secret the fact I wasn't comfortable with my sexuality. One would assume accepting that you are gay would be a prerequisite for such a career, but I convinced myself otherwise. Denial - I'm quite good at that.
My first booking came within a week. I was on edge for three days leading up to it. When the evening came around, the agency phoned with details of where to go. I had hoped to meet in a restaurant or bar - a public place, offering opportunities to chicken out - but I was sent to the client's house. I arrived early and walked up and down the street outside for 20 minutes, talking myself out of it and then, just as fast, persuading myself to go ahead. In the end, curiosity won out.
Life soon became a series of absurd non sequiturs. When I excused myself from after-work drinks, it's safe to assume none of my colleagues suspected that, while they enjoyed a chat in the pub, I was being asked to parade around a warehouse apartment wearing nothing but a pair of Speedos and a smile. At first, such secret rendezvous were thrilling, but the excitement soon faded.

Escorting is not so much a job as a lifestyle, and your boundaries get tested and reassessed very quickly. I'd always thought a threesome must be a liberating experience, and soon I didn't flinch if I counted four other escorts in the room. It's when you see an orgy as part of a normal day that life slips into a slightly surreal and complicated mire.
The sex was always empty. Being an escort is not about intimacy and certainly not about love. It is simply a transaction. There is no flow, no shared experience, just buyer and seller. Money was never discussed because the agency settled the rates beforehand, but while on the surface we were there to enjoy each other's company, the unspoken assumption was that I had been paid for and so would do as I was told. The only time I felt the power shift in my favour was when the client was nervous or seemed to be very taken with me. I wasn't flattered, but I did feel more in control.
By and large, the clients fit a similar demographic - between 40 and 60, and extremely wealthy. Such men exist in a world where money can, literally, buy anything, but even within this culture there are hierarchies. As one client told me, "Rent boy just sounds vulgar, dirty". Even I had to admit to feeling superior; the word "escort" conjured a more romantic image. Regulars were the easiest to deal with because I knew what to expect. It was new clients who made me anxious - a mixture of expectation, uncertainty and just a little fear.
I didn't have boyfriends, although other escorts did; some even dated each other, which seemed far too complicated. I'm old-fashioned in that respect - when I do go out with somebody, I'm monogamous. I can't see the point otherwise.
In the latter half of last year alone, I probably made upwards of £20,000 (excluding the little gifts and shopping trips you pick up along the way). Despite all this, in recent months, the phone has been turned off. The truth is, I've never felt cheaper. Valued against my morals and my dignity, the cash didn't seem so great.
The money is transient, but there is one permanent now, one unchangeable truth - I can dress it up any way I want, and use all the avoidance tactics I'm so fond of, but I've sold myself for sex and will have to live with that for the rest of my life.

The Guardian, Saturday 4 August 2007

PREMATURE EJACULATION

2009-06-19T12:08:00.007+02:00

The American Psychiatric Association defines premature ejaculation as "persistent or recurrent ejaculation with minimal sexual stimulation before, during, or shortly after penetration and before the person wishes it." The reoccurring question remains. What is considered to be shortly after penetration? Alfred Kinsey state that 75% of men tested ejaculate within two minutes after vaginal entry. Does this mean that 75% of the men tested are premature ejaculators? Premature Ejaculation cannot be determined in time frame or by a partners dissatisfaction, considering that 75% of all women are unable to climax during sexual intercourse without direct clitoral stimulation, leaving only 25% capable of climaxing strictly from direct penile penetration. Premature ejaculation is an act of rapid, involuntary climax.

Some cases of premature ejaculation are more severe, bringing the man to orgasm as soon as his penis makes vaginal contact. In less severe cases the man is able to make vaginal entry and stroke, but unable to maintain control in high levels of arousal. The voluntary ejaculator can sustain sexual intercourse in the "plateau" stage of arousal, maximizing sexual stimulation as the penis is at its most erect state before climax.

In example (a) the male sexual response is rapid and constantly escalating with no distinguished "plateau" stage due to high levels of excitement resulting in involuntary ejaculation prior to vaginal entry. (severe premature ejaculation)

In example (b) the male sexual response is strong and controlled in th e "plateau" stage prior to intercourse but escalates to climax soon after vaginal entry. (normal case of premature ejaculation)

In example (c) the male sexual response with good ejaculatory control is able to sustain intercourse for a considerable amount of time at the "plateau stage before peaking to climax. (good ejaculatory control)

Graphs (a and b) indicate rapid rate of excitement nearly skipping the "plateau" stage immediately after vaginal entry, leading the male to ejaculate against his will. With good ejaculatory control the male is able to sustain coitus until he or his partner decide to climax.

Mirror Image - Last Part 6

2009-06-19T11:56:00.010+02:00

As men begin objectify and obsess about their own bodies, some women return the favor.

Fajitas, cigarettes, hair spray, and beer. It's the smell of a Saturday night at the Rattlesnake Bar, on Boylston Street. The women nibble chips and salsa, cautious about smudging their toffee-colored lipstick. By the bar stand J. Crew poster boys in polar fleece and khakis. Overhead, Paula Cole wails about lost cowboys.
Both sexes agree that women continue to endure greater scrutiny about their looks. There's yet to be a male model as ubiquitous as Kate Moss, and seeing a pair of naked breasts at the movies is still far more common than seeing a naked male butt. For the female of the species, objectification is old hat.
Women, then, have a choice: do they empathize with the newly exploited male or gloat that men have finally gotten what they deserve?

A 1994 Psychology Today survey reports that women are the more forgiving of the sexes. Though both men and women rank intelligence and a sense of humor as the most important qualities in a mate, men still value facial appearance and body build more than women do.
But that's not to say that women don't have preferences. In the survey, they rated musclebound physiques as less attractive than men did; they preferred a well-toned but sleek build. Few women were looking to catch the eye of Schwarzenegger look-alikes.

"We call them triangle men," says Janet Cook, 27. She abandons her towering brownie sundae for a moment to trace an upside-down triangle in the air, indicating broad shoulders, big biceps, and a whittled waist. "It's often a sign that a guy's self-centered."
Suzanne McCaffrey, 23, offers another observation about male vanity. "Oh, sure, they say they work out for their health," she says of her three male roommates. "But the truth is they eat all this disgusting, fatty food. Then they go and lift for 45 minutes. And they're not into any aerobic exercise. They just do what will make them look good fast."
And plenty of women are willing to insist that their guy be as attractive as, well, they are. Julia, 24, who asked to be identified by first name only, is one of them. Petite, with feline eyes and long brown hair, she tortures the lime in her rum and Coke with a swizzle stick. Behind her, a suitor circles.
"I think a guy has just as much pressure to look good as a woman," she says. "I work out a lot. If I spend two hours at the gym, I expect him to as well."

And just what would she do if a less-than-strapping guy tried to pick her up? "Act disinterested," she says. Aware that her admirer has swooped in, she leans forward conspiratorially, rolling her eyes in annoyance. "For example," she says. The guy at her elbow is broad-shouldered and slim-waisted but a little on the scrawny side. And is that a receding hairline? What happens next happens quickly. With a toss of her hair and a shrug of her shoulder bag, she dusts him. The guy stands for one stunned moment, Coors Light in hand, before skulking off to be razzed by his buddies. Julia heads for fresher prospects farther down the bar.
Pay attention, guys. There's a lesson here. The next one to sidle up to Julia had better be more than just handsome. He'd better be beautiful.

(Like these guys!!)

Mirror Image - Part 5

2009-06-18T06:44:00.005+02:00

Obsessed with beauty — and competing with their friends and colleagues — more men than ever are going under the knife.

There's another way to look like the people in the magazines, of course, and here, too, men are venturing into women's territory. Rumor has it that the babes aren't the only ones on Baywatch with synthetic chests — yes, David Hasselhoff's may be fake, too.
Last year men accounted for about 20 percent of all plastic surgeries, according to the American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery. All told, cosmetic surgeries on men rose 20 percent from 1994 to 1996, which wasn't too different from the increase for women. Liposuctions for males, though, increased 30 percent, compared to 20 percent for females.
"Women come in waving Victoria's Secret catalogues or Playboy clippings and say, 'I want those breasts,' " says Barry Davidson, a Newton plastic surgeon. "Men come in and say, 'I want to get rid of this fat.' Then they grab it."
Michael (not his real name), 34, had been grabbing his waist for years. Even in high school, when he was a skinny five-foot-ten, 150 pounds, Michael had love handles. He lifted weights and played racquetball five times a week, but the extra inches wouldn't budge. "Every morning I'd put on my pants, look in the mirror, and they'd be there," he says. "I just didn't like the way I looked."

Last year, he underwent abdominal liposuction. While Michael's weight remained at 185 pounds following the operation, his waist shrank from 34 inches to 32 inches. The fat he lost (diluted with saline solution) was enough to fill two two-liter Coke bottles.
"I couldn't be happier," he says of his new waistline. "I guess I'm a vain type of guy, but if I could afford it, then why the hell not?"
Most abdominal liposuctions cost about $3000. Just because you can foot the bill doesn't mean you're a guaranteed candidate, though. Davidson warns that the operation is no substitute for exercise or dieting. In fact, many plastic surgeons won't operate on someone who has not first tried traditional weight-loss methods. Age, however, is no barrier; Davidson operates on men in their early 20s to mid-50s.

Beyond liposuction, the anatomical possibilities for men border on the bionic. Doctors can lift the flap of skin on the back of the lower leg, insert a hunk of silicone, and presto: handsome, bulging calves. There are also pectoral implants (hello, Mr. Hasselhoff), hair transplants, breast reduction, and, of course, the very rare but much hyped penis enlargement. Davidson reports that most men seek surgery to contour hereditary soft spots that exercise can't tone. Love handles, a rounded belly, or excess tissue in the breasts are common complaints.
The main reason men and women choose surgery is to improve their self-image, reports one study. Beyond that, male patients said that they also hoped to enhance their careers and to keep up with a peer who's had surgery. It's a desperate scenario: men surreptitiously checking each other out at meetings or in the locker room, trying to figure out who had a tummy tuck or a chin job.
Is this what we're coming to: a silent competition over who's got the firmest pecs?

Mirror Image - Part 4

2009-06-17T09:02:00.008+02:00

Traditionally considered female afflictions, eating disorders are affecting

body-conscious men, as well.

It's well documented that for women, body obsession can lead to extreme dieting and exercise. How widespread are eating disorders among men? Hard to say. Men are notoriously hesitant to seek psychological treatment, particularly for body-image disorders.
Some sources report an increase in these problems among men, but T. Donald Branum, a Newton, Massachusetts, psychotherapist specializing in eating disorders, points out that the rise could simply be a matter of awareness: as clinical sensitivity to male eating disorders increases, therapists are diagnosing the problem with more frequency.
What we do know is that of the eight million Americans being treated for eating disorders, one million are men. According to Branum, men make up about 10 percent of anorexics and about 20 percent of bulimics. Nearly half of binge eaters are men.
Branum, who treats men aged 15 to 65, reports that many men are ashamed to suffer from a "woman's illness." Indeed, the term "eating disorder" usually conjures the image of a white, suburban teenage girl. But eating disorders among men were documented in medical journals as far back as 1649. It's even suspected that Franz Kafka suffered from anorexia; hence his short story "The Hunger Artist."

Recently, researchers at Massachusetts General Hospital found that gay men face a special risk for eating disorders, particularly bulimia. Like women, gay men feel undue pressure to adhere to a lean look. "There's a high level of expectation in my culture," says Boston Body manager Brian Borrelli, who is gay. "A gay guy's supposed to have neat clothes, a fit body, a certain sophisticated style. It's easy to take that to the extreme."
Which he did. In high school Borrelli weighed 225 pounds. When he came out in college, he began dieting to fit the gay community's beauty ideal. He skipped breakfast, grabbed a salad for lunch, and ate soup for dinner. He also ran eight miles a day. In seven months, Borrelli was down to 135 pounds. No one recognized that he was anorexic.
"There was never any help offered to me," he says. "Let's face it, you're not going to be waiting for the T one day and look up and find a sign that says, 'Are you a white gay man suffering from anorexia?'"
For the most part, eating disorder research has ignored male sufferers. And many treatment facilities exclude men, although body-image problems appear to have the same causes in both men and women. Branum reports that his patients with eating disorders typically grapple with issues of control, anger, and sexuality; food becomes their coping mechanism.
Although Branum doubts a man can develop an eating disorder simply from spending too much time reading GQ, he does believe that a man with an eating disorder may look to media images to determine physical goals. He explains, "The man begins to think, 'If I look like that guy in the magazine, then things will be okay inside me.'"

Mirror image - Part 3

2009-06-17T09:00:00.006+02:00

In pursuit of a new beauty ideal, the obsession has gone so far that men are exercising themselves to death.

As society demands a fitter body, frowning on every pinch of fat, clinicians suspect an increasing number of men are crossing the line into exercise addiction. Signs of obsession include feelings of acute anxiety over a missed workout and an urge to make exercise a priority over friends and family. Most trainers recommend working out no more than an hour a day.But men don't just worry that they are too fat; many worry that they are too thin. Researchers at McLean Hospital have just defined a body-image distortion disorder that they liken to "reverse anorexia." Called muscle dysmorphia, the syndrome appears in athletes (both male and female) who, despite being dramatically muscular, are convinced that they are too small. Imagine a bodybuilder — 250 pounds, 20-inch biceps, 6 percent body fat — horrified to take his shirt off for fear he looks out of shape."What we're seeing now is the same body obsession but in a new form," says Harrison G. Pope Jr., one of the researchers at McLean. "It's coming out in the '90s as a preoccupation with muscularity and size." Indeed, Pope has called muscle dysmorphia "the anorexia of the '90s." That might sound a little alarmist, but Pope says it's no exaggeration. He warns not to underestimate the power of pop culture, especially Hollywood and the flourishing men's magazine industry (Men's Health alone has increased its circulation fivefold, to 1.3 million readers, since its start in 1986).

The pressure on men comes from another direction, too. Women run companies, fly fighter planes, and, yes, pump iron — leaving the boys downright anxious about the meaning of masculinity. "As androgyny and gender equality increases, it unfortunately becomes very threatening to a lot of men," says Eric Silverman, a DePauw University anthropologist who specializes in the study of body image. "Suddenly men feel like they need to redivide the genders. They need things that are exclusively masculine, even hypermasculine."For some men, that means more muscle. Indeed, the number of men exercising has increased more than 30 percent since the start of the decade. According to the research firm American Sports Data, last year nine million men belonged to a health club. And on average, they went to the gym 88 days a year. For those keeping score, that was six days more than women.Pope also adds that steroid use remains high. About one million American men have tried the drugs once; up to 6 percent have taken them by age 18.Indeed, teenage boys are on their way to becoming the next generation of body-conscious men. They avidly lift weights, blend protein shakes, and buy bodybuilding magazines. "Compare that to when I was in high school in the 1960s," says Pope. "No one even talked about working out."