The South African Kiwi

Turning over a new leaf!

2013-02-13T22:13:00.004+13:00

It's a time in my life for new growth, fresh starts and all the rest of the cliches that go over well in these situations...
So, just to inform all you lovely wonderful people out there who have supported me through the last few years: I'm in the process of moving this blog over to a new blog. http://mindtheminions.blogspot.co.nz/
It's called Mind The Minions...
Because that seems to be what my life revolves around... minding my minions.

Hope to see you all over there soon :-)

The Facebook Fast

2012-09-12T12:03:00.002+12:00

And so, those of you who know me on facebook may have noticed that, at some point, in the last few weeks I disappeared. It's true, in a sense I did and there are reasons for it.
Through a series of circumstances I've come to a point where I have had to examine my life, my time management skills (non-existent) and my priorities. This may all sound like a good thing, but it really wasn't, being very honest with oneself is rarely fun or enjoyable.
But my realisation was this: I spent up to six hours a day on facebook and various other apps and sites talking to people (yes, you can read stalking people if you like) and what this meant was that for that period of time I wasn't living in any sense of immediate reality. I was distracted from life in general and largely inaccessible to those around me.
I have three kids who deserve to be at the top of my list of priorities. A house to clean. And a marriage that, I admit, really needed some work!
I was a social media junkie using the internet as a distraction from reality. I was hiding from life by creating a world I could control.
How is that for total honesty?

And so, I committed to a month away from facebook and twitter. I deleted all apps from my phone that enabled that sort of connectivity. Except for email, seriously, I wasn't going back to snail mail. That would have put me in 'lock-up-the-crazy-woman' territory. And Pinterest.

I wanted to see what my life would look like without the crutches.

To be honest, it's boring.

I miss seeing what is happening in other people's lives, sharing snippets of my own and reading responses. I miss chatting to people. I miss supporting people and being supported. Heck, it's hard!

But I've got to admit, it's been worth it. I feel as though I'm in a healthier place for it. My kids are getting more of my attention. I actually have conversations with Pieter that don't just revolve around the logistics of existing under the same roof.
I've resolved unresolved issues in my life.

I don't know if I will go back onto facebook. The lure is that, for many of my friends, it is the only form of communication we have. And I do miss them. I have just under two weeks left of my self-imposed fast and I am committed to sticking it out. I'm guessing that, if my perspective on life in general has changed this drastically in such a short period of time, there may be more changes to come.
And, darn it! I'm pretty sure they all have my email...

Diy Marble Run

2012-05-17T08:16:00.001+12:00

Love this homemade marble run that the frog's kindergarten devised!

Ingenious!

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4

Operation Dry Out

2012-04-03T07:20:00.001+12:00

After the last weeks freaky flooding, I imagine most washing lines are looking like this!

I also have all my (surprisingly leaky) windows open to get rid of all the damp.

It's not cold really, just very very humid! Imagine breathing in soup and you'll get what the climate is like here at the moment.

May you all be blessed with perfect weather washing days.

Daily Doodle

2012-03-06T09:46:00.001+13:00

Oh dear...

Stinking Thinking

2012-03-01T10:32:00.000+13:00

I have never made it a secret that I suffer from Post Natal Depression. (To the mortification of my family...)

I experienced it 9 years ago when I had The Jord, managed to bypass it with The Frog, but descended into those black depths after having Blossom.

One of my worst parenting moments occurred when The Jord was about a year old, he had just started waddling around on his feet. I sent a text message to Pieter telling him that I couldn't cope with life anymore and told him goodbye.

It is only by God's infinite mercy and grace that Pieter took me seriously and raced home. He found me on our bed counting out antidepressant tablets (they hadn't kicked in yet) trying to figure out how many I should take and how many to give The Jord so that he wouldn't be alone until Pieter came home at around 8 o'clock that night.

Judge me if you like.

In my head, I was an unfit mother, after all, the Huggies and Johnson's ads on TV told me that motherhood was supposed to be a state of euphoria. Other opinions from people around me told me that it was a fact that motherhood was instinctive, the maternal instinct would always take over and tell you what to do... Even when your child screams for three solid hours.

(By the way, according to that same opinion people who had depression had weak brains...)

I don't know why PND occurs. I just know that your normal emotional equilibrium becomes very seriously unbalanced. You find yourself in a world of pain and panic attacks. I recall sitting on my bed, shaking and crying and not knowing why. I dreaded night time, sunsets often put me into a state of highly strung nervous tension that culminated in huge blowouts with Pieter and more shaking and crying on my part. And when a lay doctor finally diagnosed me with depression a year after The Jord's birth, I felt a sense of relief.

No, I wasn't going mad, or rather... yes, I was, but it was a manageable kind of mad. Yes, what I was feeling was explainable. And I clung to that diagnosis because it offered me the first ray of hope that the nightmare motherhood seemed to be could become better. I felt so guilty that I wasn't 'whole' enough to be a good mom to The Jord and still blame myself for the social problems he experiences. I still wonder how much of the 'bonding process' was affected by all of this and how the effects are echoing even now.

A year on antidepressants helped me then. But it was a long time before I could face the possibility of a second child.

When I became pregnant with The Frog I planned everything. I prepared myself mentally for his birth and I believe that that helped me alot. And, with him, things happened much easier. He was my 'easy' baby. And, to a degree, he still is.

Blossom was an unplanned surprise. It took me more than half my pregnancy with her to actually come to terms with the fact that I was having another child. I was angry that my life was going to spin off it's axis again. It was only when the scan revealed that I was having a little girl that I felt the first stirrings of excitement.

Does this mean that I don't love my children? Or want them? Absolutely not! I love them beyond reason and wouldn't change it regardless of how frustrating motherhood can be.

Nevertheless, at the moment, I am a recovering depressed mommy.

Recovering.

There is hope for me.

I have started attending a coffee group where they are offering Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and what I have learnt on this course has revolutionised the way I approach life. And we are only two sessions into an eight session course! It's helped me to assess my thought patterns and see where the downward spiral starts. Concepts such as 'catastrophising' have changed things for me.

Just by knowing where the problem lies, is helping me to get a handle on things.

The picture above is an example of one of the exercises this lady did. We had to list the qualities of a Good Mother and alongside the opposite, awful qualities of a Bad Mother. And then I volunteered to be the guinea pig and rate myself on a scale of 0 to 100 where I stood as a mother. 100 being a perfectly good mother and 0 being totally unfit.

When I saw the results I burst into tears. In public. Because I believe that I'm an unfit mother. A belief that is backed up rather solidly by other opinions within my immediate family.
You see, we believe the negative and question the positive. Moreover, we inflate the negative to encompass the positive. Whereas the facts are: I am NOT a bad or unfit mother. I am a good mother. And it doesn't matter what other people's opinions are - that's all they are... opinions. Not facts.

Do I choose to believe the opinions or the facts? Do I base my relationships and interactions with my family based on a few (trashy) opinions or, do I base them on the facts? Should I continue on in an attitude of apology for inflicting my unworthy presence and insignificant self on those around me, or can I now free myself of the shackles that have bound the (surprisingly, ok) person I have become?

I took that picture with my phone to remind me of who I actually am, so I can stop believing the trash.

I am a human being with serious responsibilities, not a doormat. I have rights too. The right to the time it would take to paint my toenails without having to jump up to pour a cup of juice/make a sandwich/referee the screaming match happening down the hall. The right to use the bathroom alone. To actually enjoy a bath alone. To sleep through the night. To stop cleaning and have a cup of tea - without sharing it.

To live according to my own standards instead of anyone else's expectations.

That's what I believe.

And I'm stronger for it.

And, excuse the language, those who have their expectations and opinions can shove them straight back up their asses... where said opinions came from.

Fun in the water!

2012-02-28T15:19:00.001+13:00

Daily Doodle

2012-02-27T19:10:00.001+13:00

The frog made a duck. Out of Duplo, by following a picture on the box.

And I have no idea why this makes me so proud!

But it does, well done Roo!

Daily Doodle

2012-02-23T10:45:00.000+13:00

It's been far too long since I posted here and I've gotten extremely slack of late!
Granted, we have moved house in the meantime, but still...
And so, to get back into the habit of blogging again, I've come up with a plan: my daily doodles.
My sweet husband bought me an awesome smartphone for christmas that allows me to blog photos quickly and very very easily. One snapshot of a precious moment of my day won't kill me and it should get me back into the swing of things.

Todays precious moment is brought to you courtesy of one extremely tired little girl. A little girl who didn't get her afternoon nap (naughty mommy!) And is making up for it at dinnertime...

Daily doodle

2012-02-23T07:09:00.001+13:00

Good morning world, don't you love this message?

It was a birthday gift from my friend Leonie of Kiwi Mummy Blogs.

Doesn't she make beautiful crafty things?

Love ya Leonie!

Packing up!

2012-01-17T16:19:00.001+13:00

Yup, we're moving...

Which means we're busy! Thankfully Pieter is on leave for three weeks (unfortunate coincidence for him, miraculous blessing for me!)
So I'm not trying to deal with it all on my own.

Pray for us though?

Things I'm Loving!

2012-01-06T15:59:00.001+13:00

A brand spanking new start to a brand spanking new year and the fresh promise of potential. Who knows what joy may be waiting just around the corner!

I'm loving the easy rhythm to my days while the boys are on school holidays.

And I'm loving the gift of little girl hair things that Blossom received from her Auntie Keren and the simple but profound pleasure of making my baby girl look pretty.

My creative space...

2012-01-02T14:27:00.001+13:00

I've long been obsessed with upcycling or refashioning clothing out of previously used items.
This little outfit was made out of one pillowcase.
And mostly hand sewn.
I found this pillowcase in the local opshop and loved the print.

Quite proud of the results!

Very ladylike Miss Blossom

2011-12-30T10:24:00.001+13:00

Merry Christmas

2011-12-26T11:41:00.001+13:00

Compliments of the season to everyone. We wish you much love, joy and safe merrymaking.

With love

Product Review: Be Natural Cereal

2011-12-21T16:36:00.001+13:00

Some of you may have figured it out already, but for those who haven't: I love muesli.

It's natural, wholesome, low GI and it tastes good.

So when I had the chance of reviewing the Be Natural range of muesli cereals and bars I jumped at it!

My truly, totally honest opinion?

The bars were delicious, if a bit soft. But then, I suppose, making them firmer would probably require more sugar - which may deviate from the natural idea a bit.

The cereals were just as yummy - the kids loved them! With the DIY mummy that they have, I think half the attraction was the novelty of cereal coming in a box *sniggers*

But I enjoyed them too. If I saw a box on the supermarket shelf containing muesli with 'Pink Lady Apples' I'd definitely want to buy it!

Yum! Yum! Yum!

The only downside was that I'm used to a weighty muesli and these were 'flake-rich'. If I wanted bran flakes, I'd buy bran flakes... But that's just a matter of personal preference.

All in all, great packaging and awesome tasting healthy goodness.

Find them here:

Mother Natures
Countdown

Christmas Gifts

2011-12-19T12:25:00.001+13:00

Whew! *Slack blogger alert!*

With Christmas fast approaching, School holidays starting, two babies to look after, and a new (possibly un-thought-through) venture in Avon, I have had my hands full! Things have been cra-a-a-azy around these parts!

It's at times like this that I wonder whether my policy of handmade (NOT store-bought) gifts is a practical one. Thank goodness my mum came to the rescue. In her opinion, everybody we know is battling financially in some way or another. I see her point. Also, my family tends to adopt people at Christmas time - those whose family are back in South Africa and are facing a Christmas alone. Christmas has always been joyously celebrated amongst me and mine, and none of us can stand the thought of someone being alone on Christmas Day.

This could potentially add up to either: ALOT of time spent with a sewing machine or crochet hook, or WAY too much money spent on gifts.

So instead the driving force (aka my mother) behind all of our family celebrations has decreed that all gifts for adults will be capped at $5 and will be on a 'sort-of secret santa' basis. Each person brings a gift to the value of $5. The men gifts all get put into a bag and the lady gifts get put into a different bag. Then we each get to put our hands into the bag and pull out one gift.

Works for me.

So now I only have to make two gifts.

I know what I'm making for a lady, but what can be handmade for a man???

Here are a few ideas:

http://www.allcrafts.net/

http://www.tipjunkie.com/

I'm thinking the Barbecue dishcloth would be a nice easy one, don't you?

And if you're not crafty, try www.felt.co.nz or look here!

Thankful.

2011-12-02T10:00:00.001+13:00

Today, while doing the housework (yes, you read that right, I did housework) I was reflecting on work ethics.

My husband, Pieter has an amazing work ethic. When I had my morning conversation with him on the phone (he leaves for work at 4 in the morning and so we generally say good morning to each other on the phone) he was telling me how busy it was at the branch. He said that while on the phone to me he heard three other people in the office say: Pieter is just busy on a call right now, can I take a message?

I told him it was because he was so good at his job, his response was a snort of self-deprecation... I assure you we were both responsible enough to have said goodbye quite quickly so that he could get back to it all.

But it's true! He is good at his job, and he is a hard and willing worker. When something needs to be done he is one of the first (and often the only) to stick his hand up and offer to do it. Sometimes this annoys me because every hour he gives to Mainfreight is an hour taken from me and the kids, but I can't deny that I'm proud of the way he takes pride in his work.

Upon further reflection I also realised where he got this great quality from: his dad.

My father-in-law also takes alot of pride in his work and Pieter grew up with this as an example. So today I'm grateful for Dad's who lead by example and the men that follow in their footsteps.

It been said that

'A father is a daughter's first love and a son's first hero.'

There is truth in that.

And so, today I am honouring both the Pieter's in my life. Dad - thanks for the example you have set for your son, and my love, thanks for what you do for your company and for your family. I'm proud of you.

Crocheted Skirt for my baby girl!

2011-11-28T10:35:00.000+13:00

Look what I made!

I am so proud....

Using the gorgeous handspun cotton yarn that my cousin Nicola brought me all the way from Zimbabwe (Nix you rock!) I made Miss Blossom a skirt.

It will probably look MUCH better with some tights underneath though.

And guess who is standing!

(And pushing random small items of furniture around)

I keep reminding her that she is only 9 and a half months old and that she is not allowed to walk until she is 1!

She's turned into a really jealous little monkey too!

I find myself having to rescue Miss Skye - my other charge every now and then, from Blossom's snatching.

Luckily Miss Skye is such a happy little bubba that she takes it all in her stride, although I've noticed her starting to give back as good as she gets.

You go girl!

Loving having the girls though - I'm finding them such sweet little creatures after raising my two crazy boys!

The Crawler and the Noodles

2011-11-23T16:03:00.000+13:00

Haha!

Guess who loves two-minute noodles!

The Frog didn't finish his and our little crawler discovered them before I did.

The daddy snapped these shots while I was outside hanging out the washing.

She had a blast!

Itchy Fingers!

2011-11-22T10:43:00.000+13:00

My gorgeous cousin Nicola recently visited all the way from Zimbabwe and she brought me these...

Handspun cotton yarn!

Seriously, this stuff is like crack to the serious crocheter!

It's taken me ages to figure out what to do with them!

In the end I've decided to try making Blossom an overskirt for winter.

Or for whenever.

And maybe some flowers to attach to bunting.

Pretty things for a pretty baby :)

Faith, Hope and Love

2011-11-21T16:06:00.000+13:00

I've had a bit of an obsession with the scripture:

1 Corinthians 13:13

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

My dad gets these awesome blocks of wood from his work, I've always thought them too beautiful to burn!

Now I get to do something pretty with them.

If you want to know how I managed it look here.

How to make Toasted Muesli

2011-11-18T09:44:00.000+13:00

Toasted Muesli is my favourite breakfast food, well, it's my favourite healthy breakfast food - chocolate rocks at any time of the day in my opinion.

But anyway...

Toasted Muesli is beyond our budget if bought in a box... soooo....

I decided to make my own.

After doing the google thing it didn't take me long to figure out that it was dead easy!

Here's what you do:

Grab a bag of rolled oats and mix it with a bit of butter that's been melted with honey (or golden syrup... or brown sugar... whatever).

Add some sunflower seeds and mixed nuts.

Toast in the oven for a bit. (watch it though because once it starts to brown it browns fast) Stir it around to toast evenly.

Add in some dried fruit and voila! You have Toasted Muesli.

Bon Appetit!

Miss Krystal

2011-11-18T08:00:00.000+13:00

This is the Frog's current best friend...

Miss Krystal.

Isn't she just too cute?

It's honestly astonished Lisa (Miss Krystal's Mumma) and I how well these two play together.

Entertaining Kids on a budget!

2011-11-16T15:50:00.001+13:00

Get them to make a track for their cars with tape.

It actually does keep them busy for a while...