I don’t think this is quite as true as I wish it were. Perhaps it’s just me, but I have noticed, at least in regard to skirt lengths, that whether something seems to flatter me depends in part on what is in fashion. I have in my closet a number of skirts from different times that, when I bought them, seemed to me and to stylish individuals I know, to be very flattering. The only trouble is, now they look dreadful and I can’t imagine how I thought they looked good. And it is not that I have put on weight: I weigh the same as I did at the age of 15. This puzzled me greatly until I read something about skirt lengths. Not sure if I read it here or somewhere else, but the point made was that even ‘classic’ clothes can’t be relied upon to be timeless, and that if you keep wearing the same skirt length (or tapered jeans or shoulder pads that seemed to look so good in the ’80s) decade in, decade out, you will end up looking dated, and at least to other people, your clothes will not continue to seem flattering.

When I read this, the light bulb went on: without consciously thinking in terms of current fashions, we can be influenced by what is current, and view our appearance in the light of what is current, such that it was possible in the ’80s to be genuinely convinced that a hugely shoulder-padded straight down upper thigh length jacket over a slim skirt hitting a few inches above the knee (like some of the illustrations in my copy of a book mentioned here, Always In Style) was flattering. Similarly, I cannot imagine how I could have thought that my shoulder-padded double-breasted suits with insufficient waist highlighting and mid-calf length long straight skirts flattering, and yet, at the time I worse those suits, not just I, but many others also thought they looked good on me. I am sure I would have thought those suits timeless classics at the time but they are quite dreadful now!

So I personally think it is important, if you don’t want to look very dated and, more importantly, as though your clothes are extremely unflattering, there is no getting around the need to pay at least a little attention to the underlying trends. What I mean by underlying trends is that although things come in and go out season by season, if you take a longer view, there are more slow-moving trends too, that make up the context in which the fast-moving trends come in and go out. If you ignore the fast-moving trends, there is no problem, but if you also ignore the slow-moving trends THAT is what makes you look horribly dated and NOT FLATTERED by your clothes.

There is of course a wider variety of options one can wear now, compared to in previous generations, but I still think that there ARE underlying slow-moving trends that can’t be ignored unless you don’t care in the slightest how you look.

When I was a child, at some point, my mother was still wearing her ’60s short dresses, and I had to take her aside and tell her that it was completely inappropriate to wear those dresses at that time, because at the time of our conversation, the only people wearing such short skirts were … well… let’s just say that my really quite conservative mother did not want to be giving out the message her short dresses were giving out, once I pointed it out to her. Like women who wear what we now call granny pants now, my mother was wearing something that was completely out at the time she was wearing it. It is not that her figure had changed: we have good genes in that respect. It is ONLY that she had failed to notice the change in the underlying skirt length trend at that time.

Comments? Criticisms?

Thanks, Sarah!  I think you did a great job explaining what could seem like conflicting principles:  choosing what looks good and sticking with it versus watching fashion trends.

My best advice to avoid this dilemma?  Don’t own more clothes than you can wear out in seven years. 

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So, how many pairs of jeans do you need?  Some of my most glamorous friends have only one, and maybe a back-up pair for laundry day.  On the other hand, if your children are still in the spit-up stage, you may need a drawer full (like my friend from the post How Many Jeans Does One Mom Need). 

My needs:

• straight-leg jeans for with flats (everyday jeans)
• trouser jeans for with heels  (I got both of these first two thrift this week for a total of $13.25)
• a pair to tuck into knee boots (I don’t always need these, but I did this past winter!)
• a back-up pair

In my idiom, all jeans are dark.

Statistically, I’ve heard, most women own 8 - 13 pairs of jeans (and the numbers of pairs owned decreases as the one’s size increases).  True confessions:  How many jeans do you have?  How many do you need?

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• cashmere polo, grass green tipped navy, Old Navy $10.86.  Pictured below with my new - ish navy trousers and my vintage “asparagus shoes”, I bought this after Duchesse suggested that 50 and raining is cashmere. 
• 2 pairs of shorts from Goodwill (the boutique side):  khaki linen bermudas and short (unfortunately, as opposed to knee-length) swim shorts.  Total $9.78.
• paisley cotton dress and brown crochet type cardigan, both from Value Village.  $17.35.  Somebody told me that was expensive, but I think not - compared to the likelihood I would throw up my hands in despair and skip somebody’s wedding because I have nothing to wear!
• another shirt like this one pictured back here, only this one is a lovely lilac color.  Target, $6.24.
• “like new” Levi 505s.  Salvation Army, $2.38.
• “like new” Eddie Bauer dark wash trouser jeans and Lifestride paisley pumps.  Goodwill Boutique $18.47.

Critics of my simple wardrobe color system, or just proponents of a larger wardrobe than I aspire to, will be happy to see a little more color here.  I am happy to see paisley!  I’ve asked this before:  what print defines your personality?

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Kathy Peel got a makeover from Robert Jones, author of Looking Younger: Makeovers That Make You Look as Young as You Feel.  Whenever I see women who look like that, I think “I wish I could be that pretty.”  (watch robert’s appearance on the today show from msnbc.com)

From Kathy’s website, which also has a list of the 10 mistakes Robert sees most commonly: If you only have a few minutes, Robert says these things will make the biggest difference:

• Curl your eyelashes. This will open up your eyes and make them look bigger

Check!

• Apply a little mascara-starting at the base

Check! I am currently using the two different mascara method.

• Put a dab of concealer under your eyes

Yes. I use Bobbi Brown creamy concealer.

• Brush some blush across your cheekbone

So far, so good. (He also recommends bronzer in the video. In the past, I have used it, but I don’t have any now.)

• Groom your eyebrows

Here’s my problem. I’ve tried several kinds of magnifying mirrors, but I still have trouble tweezing. Also, I asked my hairstylist last week whether she thought I should dye my eyebrows and she didn’t think I should. (She also didn’t think I should dye my hair.)

• Apply lip gloss

Y’know, my hero prefers that I don’t wear any lip product. We compromise. I wear a frosty pink all-day lip stuff which literally will not kiss off.  (That is, I wear it when I remember to put it on.)

Here’s my remaining question: how to keep my mascara from melting into my concealer. Suggestions?

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Perhaps in the not-so-distant future, I will be able to produce them myself.  :)  (Which thought came to me sometime in the 24 hours following my first drawing class.)  Why not?  If I learn to draw, I could just draw pictures of the ideas which are very clear in my mind, scan them, and upload them to the blog.  Much less time-consuming than finding them on the internet (which gives great pictures, but takes forever), or taking them myself (yeah, you’ve seen my pictures, and now that I mostly blog when I’m home alone, the clothes must generally be pictured uninhabited, which is less satisfactory).

In the meantime, links!

• Imogen’s post on age appropriate dressing.
• Duchesse on Personal Style at 80
• Great Vogue video on personal style

And finally, in lieu of a fashion lab, a question:

Would an 80 year old be fabulous or frumpy in this Boden dress? What about you? (What about me?)

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Is this a good time for me to go off on a rant about allowing ourselves to be chunked up into our peer groups to the degree that we either fear or disdain anyone more than a year or two different from us in age?  Just wondering.  More on that topic to come, no doubt.

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1. When hitting the thrift stores, each item doesn’t need to be perfectly current. Remember you are buying what you would have bought in the past few years, if you had been your current size. But don’t spend much, you won’t be wearing it long.
2. You don’t need much. I have several friends who wear the same few things over and over and look great. Remember this isn’t going to be your wardrobe forever, it’s okay if you get tired of it. You are going to be able to buy new!
3. Stay within the silhouette(s) that work for you.  And that may change on the “weigh down”.  Review the 6 silhouettes here. 
4. Make sure all the other elements work: color, style, whatever makes you feel like yourself.
5. Although it is easy to overlook under garments, a well-fitting bra makes a big difference in how slim and trim you look to the world.

When you reach your goal, be sure and get rid of temptation by passing on these transitional pieces. 

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Ever since I said that and read Vildy’s subsequent comment (I’d love more examples of avoiding frumpiness by not mixing the shapes. Frumpiness = outdated looks?), I’ve been ruminating on the question “What defines frumpy?”  For example, when the world was declaring Susan Boyle “frumpy”, that was not the word I would have chosen to describe her (maybe her hairstyle …).  After a second look, I would use the word frumpy.  That just wasn’t the first word I would have chosen.  I think I’ll stop now, before I get myself in trouble.

Googling frumpy turned up this:  Genevieve Fox declares Boden too frumpy for Michelle Obama in a Telegraph.co.uk article, primarily for the reason that the fit of the clothes is not flattering.  My point in bringing this up isn’t to slam Boden - I think they have lots of cute stuff to offer - but to call out unflattering fit as the first element of frump.  Serendipitously, Karen of a Certain Age has blogged comprehensive guidelines for Dumping the Frump with Clothes that Fit.

The word frumpy implies:

• unflattering fit
• conservative or matronly (maybe?  maybe not?)
• outdated (as opposed to classic)
• inappropriate to the setting.  Both big picture, like wearing an ordinary day dress to an evening gala, and in detail, like wearing hair or accessories out of character with the rest of the outfit.  I need a fancier hairstyle for going out.

What would you add to that definition of frumpy?

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“Over the years I have learned that what is important in a dress is the woman who is wearing it.”

Yves Saint Laurent

The funny thing was it came in a little envelope with a note saying it reminded her of me. But when I pulled it out of the envelope this is what I read:

Making a difference in our environment is as simple as driving a more fuel-efficient vehicle.

Huh? I looked at it and looked at it, until I finally turned the magazine clipping over. Who would have thought there’d be little statements like that printed on both sides of the page? lol

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Which, if online or even department store shopping were my usual practice, would seem easy; after all, currently LOTS of great dress styles are available: baby-dolls, sheaths, sundresses, shirtdresses. For me, though, it’s not so simple. Unable to bring myself to part with any real money most of the time, I generally shop thrift. Thrifting can be overwhelming, so I’ve identified some practices that make it easier.

How to quickly scan for dresses to try:

1. Color is the easiest thing to scan for, so narrow down the colors you are looking for. This is how I was able to shop the entire Old Navy store while my hero was waiting in traffic to get out of the parking lot. And know that a dress is the easiest thing to wear in a flattering color that doesn’t work with anything else in your wardrobe. No mixing and matching necessary!
2. Next, look at silhouette. If it makes you feel fat just by looking at it hanging on the rack, it’s probably not for you. Of course, if you are feeling adventurous, by all means use the opportunity to try on a new shape.
3. Patterns should harmonize with the scale of your facial features AND appeal to your personal sense of style.
4. With the current practice of layering dresses over leggings or other pieces, length may not be as big an issue, but it is something that’s easy to identify before getting to the fitting room.
5. Finally, if it feels icky to the touch, don’t bother trying it on. This has to do with learning to recognize the feel of the fabrics you like to wear. Knowing I will never wear a polyester blouse, no matter how beautiful the color or pattern, has saved me literally hours in fitting rooms.

Of course, just because I shop thrift, doesn’t mean these techniques won’t help in traditional stores.

Look what I got yesterday for $15 (plus a pair of swim shorts and a pair of linen shorts thrifted last week for $10).  Apologies again for the fuzzy picture.

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