The Spewker Celebrity Politics Blog

Meet the New Baltimore Celebrity Examiner

2008-12-01T03:34:00.005-05:00

Honestly, I was hoping to avoid this. Don't you just hate when you visit a blog expecting to find good stuff and instead there's this final article? A final article directing you somewhere else?

Yeah, I hate that too. Which is why I've been holding off doing this. But the truth is, I shouldn't have waited so long.

It's become too difficult to write for The Spewker and my page at Examiner.com. For that reason, this blog has been temporarily suspended effective immediately. I may eventually come to regret this decision, but time constraints leave me no other choice.

Look at it this way, I'll still be doing juicy celebrity dish, original celebrity interviews, and reporting the Baltimore-Washington celebrity scene ... just not from here. At least not for now. Maybe when life becomes less hectic and there's more time I'll be back. Could happen. Don't rule it out.

In the meantime, The Spewker will continue to publish Twitter updates and new videos from time to time, but yeah, the blog has moved here.

The Baltimore Celebrity Examiner. Has a nice ring to it, don't ya think?

Save the Cheerleader, Save the World from Hottest Tots and Celebrity Couples

2008-11-24T09:52:00.007-05:00

Forbes' Hottest Hollywood Tots is such a crock of publicity horse cocky, I want to steam myself under a hot shower for the next fifteen minutes just to loosen the dibbles.

Joel McHale said exactly what was on my mind - why in the world is Forbes magazine venturing into the world of celebrity fluffaby? Did editors throw the financial sector overboard now that America is knee deep in meltdown economics?

"Oh, we can't break even publishing financial pontifications. Let's add a celebrity toddlers hot or not contest. That'll bring in people clicking like mad."

You'd better believe I'm mad, uptight and mad's more like it. Mad that I had to click through five crappy millileters each time I wanted more information about the listed tots. Boy, Forbes' stuff must really be in the toilet to milk so much out of celebrity gossip.

So I'm ending the shennanigans right now by printing their ridiculous exercise in self-preservation, saving you, dear reader, the torture of suffering through another gazilllion of pages from hell.

10. Samantha Sheen (Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen)
9. Sean and Preston Federline (Britney and Fed-Ex)
8. David Banda (Madonna)
7. Matilda Rose Ledger (Michelle Williams and Heath Ledger)
6. Cruz Beckham (Posh and Becks)
5. Sam Alexis Woods (Tiger and Elin Woods)
4-2. Pax, Zahara, and Shiloh Jolie-Pitt (in that order)(Brangelina)
1. Suri Cruise (TomKat)

And as long as we're on the subject, I have only this to ask ... WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

How could anyone in their right mind include tug-of-war toy David Banda but omit Kingston Rossdale? Or Johan Samuel? Or Harlow Winter Kate Madden, for that matter?

And what about the inferiority complexes foisted upon helpless and defenseless celebritots who through no fault of their own are subjected to arbitrary and capricious rejection every time they hear the name "Forbes?" It's not like these children ask to be paraded around like a traveling museum. The least we can do is feign a little respect for their privacy.

Not so when it comes to 2008's Best and Worst Celebrity Couples list. You'll also slog through a ton of advertising, but at the end of the day, won't feel any worse for the wear.

Unlike hot to trot celebritots, there's the trade-off component of choosing a profession that unfolds in the public eye. Celebrities expect and anticipate a certain amount of ogle. It's the American way, for goodness sake!

For those reasons and the fact that only one couple per family posted in the best and worst section, no spoilers about 2008's Best and Worse. Go ahead, get your hands dirty.

I won't tell if you won't.

Scary Obsessed Fan Rattles Brad Pitt on Oprah

2008-11-20T21:44:00.004-05:00

(photo courtesy of LaLateNews)

Yesterday, I got a long hard look at myself in the TV set. It was not by any means a pretty sight.

Brad Pitt returned to the set of Oprah plugging the Christmas Day release of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, a movie about a New Orleans man who ages backwards. I hear the special effects are to die for. Heck, the movie was in post-production for almost a year.

Aside from styling reminiscent of the late Clark Gable, Pitt filled the studio with the twinkle of Hollywood stardust, what I call the magic of Hollywood. He’s a person, yes, like everyone else, but with killer good looks and notable acting talent. I hardly ever watch daytime television, but this was one show I wanted to see as it aired.

That Oprah, I have to hand it to her. She’s now peppering celebrity interviews with home audience questions via Skype. These are not your grandmother’s cheesy call-ins with background pictures but real time webcam "I see you, you see me" exchanges. Skype definitely made the show more engaging. One bride-to-be appeared in her bedroom with a bed full of family and friends.

Top of the heap in clout and earning power, Pitt stands toe to toe with the greats, actors admired for craft and popularity not necessarily due to peer recognition, but for opening movies and resonating with a crowd. He’s a big fish in a huge pond glutted with wannabes. Everyone wants a piece of him no matter how those pieces are derived.

The Q and A ran rather smoothly until Christina from Ontario questioned Pitt about his body tattoos. At that point, the exchange turned on its head.

(video may be removed due to copyright and if so, don’t count on a replacement)

In the first place, Christina knew way too much about Pitt for comfort, like prey studied by stalker before ambush. Clearly, Pitt became very uncomfortable, refusing to divulge any personal information or put his tats on display. It was comical, really, in a "Lady, who are you and why do you know so much about my ice man tattoo?" kind of way. Then suddenly, it felt kind of scary. Poor Christina, I could see she felt it too.

At that moment, I glimpsed my reflection. Figuratively speaking of course, but no less startling. I too feed off Hollywood minutiae, petty details of lives steeped in fantasy glamour. What’s the harm in wanting to see a decorated body part? Why even decorate if not to show off?

As Pitt lamented the ever present din of paparazzi, as well as fences and walls he would rather remove but requires for privacy, I too wanted the inside scoop. As if answering Christina’s question might reveal the essence of this movie star’s shine, I really wanted to know about his tats. So did Oprah, though immediately after gentle prodding she backed down.

Despite being offensive or intrusive, Pitt owed a better answer to his fans. He chose acting for his livelihood and should expect people crossing the line. Without fans who feed off his star power, he’s like any other bit player on Broadway.

On the other hand, I can’t imagine what it must be like to live in a fish bowl. The constant presence of cameras and strangers approaching wherever one goes must be unnerving. Can a fan’s desire to connect go too far?

At the end of the day, none of it matters, gossip tidbits or glitterati lives. Hearing Pitt speak about his children, life with Angie, or his Benjamin Buttons co-star, the fabulous Cate Blanchett, another guest on the show, won’t change the world or cure cancer. It’s entertainment like a good book or a day at the races, nothing more than fleeting fancy to pass the time.