The Spirit of the Hilltop

Sh#@ People in DC Say

2012-01-19T12:48:00.000-05:00

Harbin Hall and Masturbation: A Problem for Public Health

2011-05-03T10:36:00.003-04:00

Okay, Hoyas. This announcement was posted in freshmen dorm Harbin Hall on one of its bulletin boards. HILARIOUS!!! However, it's more likely that this letter was a fluke meant to imitate similar ones posted in the showers of other universities. Good joke, though, whoever you are!

RedTube on Campus?!?!

2011-05-03T10:31:00.000-04:00

As if one porn scandal wasn't enough, did this event really happen? RedTube is like Youtube, but for porn, Hoyas. Did Georgetown really allow this lecture in the first place?

Quote of the Day

2011-05-03T10:22:00.001-04:00

Lady Gaga may have a new set of "bones" in her latest incarnation as Mother Monster. Say what you want about her bizarre persona, d#!$, does that girl have a nice ass. Anyway, the quote of the day? Lady GaGa comments in an interview with Harper's Bazaar this month on moving to L.A.:

"I put my toe in that water, and it was a Kegel-exercise vaginal reaction where I clenched and had to retract immediately."

Osama Dead! Hoyas Gather with District Denizens at the White House!

2011-05-03T10:11:00.006-04:00

The news of Osama bin Laden's death caught most of us by surprise. Hoyas swarmed with other DC denizens in front of the White House on the night of Sunday, May 1st. Election 2008 all over again? Remember the "run on the White House" that historic Tuesday night? Well, the Spirit sure does.

This whole situation seems rather fishy. Buried at sea? How are we supposed to 100% believe the hand-picked facts the Administration, military, and intelligence agencies report to us. Bin Laden may have been in captivity for weeks for his knowledge of covert information -- better alive than dead? We finished the Royal Wedding on Friday, and now the powers-that-be drop this bomb-of-a-story two days later. Hoyas, don't get swept up by the mob mentality and go crazy over this. In any case, this development will only increase Obama's approval ratings and will help to get him reelected for another term.

Osama bin Laden's burial at sea: critics range from 9/11 families to militants

How to stuff $79,600 in your bra, according to Leslie Johnson

2010-11-18T02:57:00.001-05:00

Jack and Leslie Johnson, 2010 (Linda Davidson/TWP)

Last week, Prince George's County Executive Jack Johnson and his wife, County Council member Leslie Johnson, were arrested last Friday by FBI agents for "pay-to-play" bribery.

Prince George's County Exec Jack Johnson, Wife Arrested

Spotted: Real Housewives at Fight Night/Knock Out Abuse Gala

2010-11-18T02:37:00.002-05:00

So all of District society gathered at the Ritz Carlton Georgetown last Thursday for the annual Fight Night/Knock Out Abuse Gala, including the Spirit itself...and those scandalous Real Housewives of DC...We'll see if that bit will get featured on the next season. And oh...those God d$^# Salahis! Does everyone know that the Bravo film crew recreated some scenes following the Party Crash last year so they could feature a staged episode as part of the season?!

D.C. splits down gender lines for an evening of his-and-hers fundraising

Cher Looks Soooooo Good!

2010-11-18T02:21:00.001-05:00

Hoyas, Cher is 64. She looks amazing! Here she is featured on the cover of Vanity Fair's December issue and will be starring in the musical film Burlesque alongside Christina Aguilera. The word on the street? Cher's three secrets to age-defying glamour?

(1) Do NOT drink alcohol. It ages you. (And stay out of the sun while you're at it.)
(2) Do NOT consume Diet Coke or any other product with Aspartame.
(3) Schedule several consultations with her gifted plastic surgeon. (The Spirit wants to know who did Florence Henderson's, aka Carol Brady, work as well; she is 76.)

Armageddon by Global Warming? Or by Our Immorality?

2010-11-18T02:04:00.000-05:00

Christian Groups: Biblical Armageddon Must Be Taught Alongside Global Warming

The Kansas State Supreme Court recently upheld a public school's decision to teach the Biblical Armageddon alongside Global Climate Change. Hahahahahah!

Oprah Invites Hundreds of Lucky Fans to Be Buried in Her Tomb

2010-11-18T01:31:00.004-05:00

Omg. Thank you to our friends at the Onion News Network. The Spirit died.

Bring back our pranks!

2010-11-04T03:10:00.009-04:00

Thank you, Hoya, for the following article. More of you out there should be like you and kindly email the Spirit with little treats like this in your very own writing:

Bring Back Our Pranks!

While we’re all writhing and moaning about the tarnish these drug busts have brought to our reputation, consider this: why did they do it? By the looks of their parent’s lawyers, it certainly wasn’t for the money. So maybe, just maybe they did it because they were smart kids with no other outlet for their ingenuity.

I’m just going to say it; Georgetown recruits some of the world’s best and brightest to study on the Hilltop, then puts them in a holding pattern for their entire first year. Upperclassmen, ask yourselves, "How much of my freshmen year was well spent--in retrospect?" With a few notable exceptions, such as Compass and Carroll fellows, students don’t face a real intellectual challenge until their sophomore or even junior year!

Now before you cry foul, I’ll admit that there is more to life than studying, and that’s supposedly what freshman year is all about. Meeting people from all over the world, exploring the city, joining a club, ect...But let's not lie to ourselves. For a substantial number of freshmen, it also means alcohol and drug abuse, with a side of minor criminal activity. Georgetown’s reaction has been in the past to crack down, and inevitably it’ll respond to this latest incident with more rules and stricter RAs than ever before. That plays a part.

Let me suggest an alternative: bring back our harmless pranks. MIT has an annual prank; Harvard & Yale have been going at it for years, and UVA has a longstanding tradition of streaking. Clearly, pranking and excellence go hand in hand, so what’s wrong with Georgetown?

To be clear, I’m not advocating anyone perform illegal activities (so no tunnels and no clock-tower), but there are many pranks that don’t involve breaking the law. Let's get creative! What Georgetown does with you is another matter, but then again, it beats getting busted by the DEA.

What does everyone think of Lady Gaga as a man?

2010-11-01T22:48:00.000-04:00

Lady Gaga is widely known for her ridiculous, over-the-top outfits, but check out this look, Hoyas. Here is the "Queen of Twitter" dressed as a man for a photo shoot with Vogue Hommes Japan for their September issue.

Thank God For the Rape-aXe!

2010-11-01T22:32:00.012-04:00

South African inventor Sonnet Ehlers, here in 2005, created an anti-rape female condom that works with jagged latex hooks that latch onto the skin of an attacker. (Guercia/Getty)

The Spirit just discovered this interesting invention which debuted this past June. The Rape-aXe was developed by a South African doctor after she had made a promise to women of a South African, indigenous ethnic group over 40 years ago. Similar in self-insertion to a tampon, the Rape-aXe's plastic and latex "teeth" will lock onto a man's penis the moment he inserts it into the wearer's vagina. South Africa is noteworthy today for endemic rape levels, although the country is not at war (e.g. the Democratic Republic of the Congo).

Jane Hoyas, think about getting some of these to protect yourself from those allegedly roofied drinks at the next Rugby Team party! Or better yet? What a great way to get back at your boyfriend and convict him of raping you! Part of the difficulty of claiming rape is the lack of evidence, but with the Rape-aXe, this problem is no more! Remember, rape is simply an issue of consent, and that can be difficult to prove if not in writing...so take advantage of the anti-rape condom!

South African doctor invents 'anti-rape' condom

Cherry cherry boom boom!

2010-10-29T23:26:00.002-04:00

Lady GaGa has done it again! Such a flagrant supporter of the LGBT-community has put herself out for a lynching! Just kidding, Hoyas; the Spirit loves her. I would eat her out for all of you! After all, after watching her "Telephone" video we found out "she didn't have dick...Too bad!" :P >

So whatever happened about that noose in the Tunnels?

2010-10-29T18:41:00.000-04:00

Photo Credit: Hip-Hop News Daily

Calling all Hoyas. Does anyone know what happened with that alleged noose that DPS found in the tunnels that run underneath Dhalgren Quad? Email the Spirit at spiritofthehilltop@gmail.com so that we can get to the bottom of this scandal.

GU Administration should clean house at DPS

2010-10-29T18:24:00.008-04:00

So...a side comment...Andover? Wow, that ain't so bad, Hoyas. What a quaint location in which to be under house arrest! Isn't that where lesbian (allegedly) author Emily Dickinson resided? Oh, wait, that was Amherst, MA, but Dickinson allegedly studied at Mt. Holyoak College of Women. And what's with all those ambiguously lesbian authors anyway?

After doing some digging, the Spirit discovered that the Washington Post reported on Sunday that the tip-off for the DMT lab in Harbin 926 came from the questioning of students smoking a legal substance known as "K2." Therefore, the primary motivation for launching such an investigation was not, as Mr. Todd Olson suggested in his intra-University emails, due to "a strange odor." These students have good attorneys who will likely attempt to argue that DPS's search was illegal, and therefore, any such illegal evidence within Harbin 926 at the time of search CANNOT be used as evidence of a crime in the court of law. D#@&, you guys messed up! If these boys are let go, the powers that be will undoubtedly expell them "for any reason or no reason at all." "These boys, have deeply harmed the integrity and reputation of this upstanding university," university administrators may say. So, University officials, if you really want to undo the damage this whole incident has really caused, you must FIRE the leadership of DPS and CLEAN HOUSE--just like any other corporation would for any particular department with an elastic labour supply. Ugh. The Spirit is out of breath. Have a happy Friday, Hoyas.

Congratulations, Kelly!

2010-10-29T18:10:00.001-04:00

Above: An alleged photo of Baltazar retrieved via Google and sourced from Facebook.com.

With stories about you and your activities on the commercial internet publications, including NBC Washington and TBD.com, the Hilltop is being further soiled and dishonored.

Another Drug Bust At Georgetown University

Georgetown freshman Kelly Baltazar arrested for marijuana

Georgetown freshman arrested for marijuana

CHTV takes the "Walk of Shame" to a whole new level...

2010-10-28T04:00:00.000-04:00

Thank you, College Humor TV for another hilarious documentary of a common campus phenomenon of 21st-century, casual hook-up culture.

Those hippies at Middlebury...

2010-10-28T03:27:00.003-04:00

This is funny. The Spirit is happy to remain on the Hilltop. Let's get with it, Hoyas. Calling all Hoyas to make a funny, white-rapper video!

"Cool kid at Georgetown University" dishes a little wisdom

2010-10-28T02:29:00.000-04:00

Thanks, Joe, for imparting your words of Hoya wisdom. Now even non-Hoyas may understand us just a little bit better.

First-ever live poll allows political pundits to pander to viewers!

2010-10-28T01:47:00.002-04:00

Here's another hilarious, totally-untrue story from our friends at the Onion News Network. Thank you so much for the laughs! :D

Justin Bieber found to be cleverly disguised 51-year-old pedophile

2010-10-28T01:40:00.003-04:00

Hoyas, the Spirit died when it saw this. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen of the Onion New Network for this hilariously farcical story!

"But he grabbed me and told me I was his special angel..."

Has everyone seen Seduce Me?!

2010-10-27T23:54:00.007-04:00

Oh, Isabella Rossellini. We loved Green Porno. "Is he seducing me?! What am I? A bedbug?!" All of this seems poignant in light of those terrible bedbug infestations in University housing. Try using the Green Porno Name Generator to find out your own nickname (e.g. Lord Red Irish or Daddy Longleg). Oh, dear, Hoyas...

"That's why I want my vagina."

Spotted: Freshman Kelly Baltazar allegedly in possession of cannabis

2010-10-27T21:46:00.004-04:00

According to Vox Populi, the blog of the Georgetown Voice, Freshman Kelly Baltazar was arrested Tuesday evening by the D.C. Metro Police Department and charged with "unlawful possession of and intent to sell marijuana and the sale of drug paraphernalia." Some speculate that this incident is related to the Georgetown DMT Scandal, which occurred in the same dormitory. In the Spirit's opinion, the whole Freshman class should be re-evaluated by the Department of Admissions in order to protect against further defamation of the University's reputation. Hopefully, our U.S. News & World Report ranking will not plummet. In other news, the McDonough School of Business was ranked 4th in the nation for its M.B.A. program. Congratulations, Slytherin.

Breaking: First-Year Harbin Resident Arrested by MPD

Harbin freshman arrested for “use of a controlled substance”

DCPS should be tried under the Federal Common Rule for violating research ethics protocol in its Hardy Middle School Study

2010-10-25T02:49:00.008-04:00

Above: A copy of the first portion of the Metro Teen AIDS survey
Photo Courtesy: The Georgetown Dish

Ugh. If I were a lawyer, I would be compiling a lawsuit against DC Public Schools and Michelle Rhee (by association) for its criminal study conducted at Rose L. Hardy Middle School in Georgetown. By the way, this study was not simply for the purposes of sex education, but its statistics may have been used for academic research. The study, conducted by Metro Teen AIDS, was headed by Adam Tenner, and violated a number of federal legal stipulations of research ethics under the "Common Rule," which include the following:

(1) Failure to receive assent and consent forms from students and parents (of said students).

(2) Deception of the anonymity of the study's survey after a parent complained to the school and was subsequently returned her child's survey (even though the study claimed these surveys were anonymous).

(3) Unjust and unproprietous/inappropriate survey design (e.g. the first question concerned advanced, nuanced notions of gender that are generally considered inappropriate to make aware to 12-year-olds).

(4) Failure to notify parents that such a study was even being conducted in the first place.

Photo Courtesy: The Georgetown Dish