The Sports Optimator

Fixing... University Of Maryland Football

2011-09-11T15:52:00.000-07:00

I am well aware this is a little late, but I was waiting on Uni Watch (www.uni-watch.com) to post my designs. I also didn't know Maryland was going to spring surprise uniforms on everyone for their opening game, apparently a uniform design version of "pull my finger" that had a similar outcome. I also didn't know that Maryland's intentionally garish uniforms would be so successful at making people talk about them, their cry for help worked really well.

I'm going to break from my Tweak/Fix format because the uniforms they unveiled initially and the ones they used against Miami are beyond tweaking for me. All I could think about during their first game was how Maryland looked like they should be the Joker or Two Face's henchmen from the 1960's Batman show, all they needed was Randy Edsall doing a Cesar Romero impression on the sidelines (Go get 'em boys!) to make it complete.

The only redeemable design elements for me are a sparing use of the black/yellow pattern from the Maryland flag and the turtle shell pattern on the white helmets. The below pictures are graphic and may cause vomiting and dizziness, they should not be viewed by anyone under the age of 18.

Holy shit, what is going on with that sleeve?!

I still can't decide if these are worse than the ones worn against Miami.

Gah! Patterned gradient numbers! Damn you all to hell!

Ok, so those are all horrible. I can't stand gradients, and the double sin of gradient numbers with a pattern behind it just makes it worse. These aren't so much uniforms as they are an attempt to get attention through garish design, which is sad, no fan base deserves this (well, maybe stanfurd) kind of uniform treatment. Maryland also seems to have fallen prey to the growing desire for black uniforms, but at least in Under Armour's defense they actually have black in their school/state colors.

FIX

So I decided that the black/yellow stripe on the helmet was by far the best part of the original designs. I really liked that move, it was subtle and made a node to the state flag. I definitely didn't want to drape the players in the state flag, but I wanted to use the black/yellow pattern and stick to white and red as the base of the design. I also decided to get rid of the "Terps" helmet logo they have been using for a long time, but I didn't want a blank helmet like their design, so I went with a lighter shell pattern and a new helmet logo. I caved in and made a black third/alternate uniform, I managed to avoid the "everything black" treatment that most teams go for. I can only imagine what college football games will look like in 10-15 years with every single team coming out with a solid black uniform.

HOME

AWAY

ALTERNATE

ENLARGED HELMET (Home/Road & Alternate)

Fixing... Newcastle United FC

2011-08-18T22:14:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the first of many new posts dedicated to fixing horrible uniform designs. I have been upset with various designs over the years, which is why we started the 10 Best/Worst kits posts, but I've never really done anything beyond furrow my brow in dismay. I'm going to split these into two designs; Tweak (slight change to existing design), and Fix (making things much better).

My first target is the atrocious home kit for Newcastle United FC. These guys have been slowly descending into the depths of design hell over the years, and they managed to hit rock bottom for the 2011-12 season. This is kind of depressing, considering the yellow/blue debacle of the 2009-10, at least those retained the classic striping pattern.

Horrible

TWEAK

I'm completely frustrated with the way they changed the striping, and the sponsor logo patch makes me weep. I brought back the striping, the sleeves can stay white, and brought the Puma logo down to align with the club crest. The Northern Rock logo goes to gold with a white outline, no need for the black box.

FIX

Completely restored the striping that looks so good, and now that Adidas isn't the sponsor the triple tripe look is gone. Puma logo aligns with the crest, like the tweak, and I decided to go in another direction with the sponsor logo. Northern Rock uses a magenta square logo, which is actually semi-hidden in the text logo (its the period), so why not go bold with the logo? I'm not a huge fan of corporate logos on uniforms, but if we are going to do it why not make it unique and visually interesting?

Top Ten Best Club Kits Of 2011-2012

2011-08-07T09:22:00.003-07:00

With the worst kits out of the way, it time to open the season with a look at the best kits of the season. I wasn't really blown away by anything, aside from the Russian Premier League and the J-League landing two on the list, but it was a pleasant to cut this down from twelve instead of working with seven or eight.

SUNDERLAND (Home & Away)

This is amazing to me, Sunderland managed to keep their home kit looking nice AND come up with a decent away kit. They kept the stripes, simple black collar and cuffs, and the away is so clean and simple I couldn't help liking it. I actually wanted to add Rangers' new away kit since its essentially the same design as Sunderland's. The only gripe I have is the construction and how the stripes meet at the back, this doesn't look right at all, I'm sure the stripes could have been aligned.

ZENIT ST. PETERSBURG (Home)

I know, its got a pattern, but its subtle and simple enough that it doesn't bother me. I almost wish that the sleeves were also patterned, but I've seen a number of pictures of this kit in action and the pattern doesn't stand out as much as you would think.

EVERTON (Home & Away)

Not much to say here, but right up my alley. Simple, clean, and the only thing I would add is a collar to the away similar to the home.

INTER MILAN (Home)

Tried an true, the stripes of Inter Milan come through again. Had a great kit last year, still do, and I love their name/number font. This was almost Manchester City's new away, but in the end the odd orientation of the shoulder striping made me change my mind. Now if only Inter would sell Sneijder to a certain team in Manchester, I'd be even happier.

OLYMPIQUE LYON (Home)

Another nice kit from Lyon, they have been doing some really great work with that blue and red stripe for years now. I also enjoy the very subtle image of their lion crest in the stripe, really hard not to like this one. Only improvement would be the centered Adidas logo, why Adidas? WHY?!

MAINZ (Home)

Arsenal manage to continue their streak of great jerseys, oh, I meant Mainz. This is basically Arsenal's kit aside from the thick red cuffs, but that doesn't mean it isn't a great look. I love the solid body and white sleeves, lets just hope Mainz doesn't have jockey uniforms next year.

Arsenal look good this year.

BOHEMIAN FC (Away)

Girondins de Bordeaux, I hope you are reading this, because this is how to use a V design. Simple and clean, nicely placed striping, why is this so hard?

NAGOYA GRAMPUS (Home & Away)

I was going to spend most of this paragraph wondering what a "Grampus" is, but I don't think anyone wants to read it. Another good example of well designed V striping, I even like how the sponsor logo fits in. I'm sure Chevron is crossing their fingers that Lyon uses this design next year.

URAWA RED DIAMONDS (Home & Away)

I love collars, I really wish more teams would use them again. This is another example of how patterns can look great without being overwhelming. Simple designs done well, hard to believe these were made by the same company that created the Oregon Ducks 2008 uniforms.

SPARTAK MOSCOW (Home & Away)

These are awesome, and possibly my favorites for the year. I love the centered location of the team crest, the reversal of the colors between home and away, and how the sponsor's logo almost feels integrated into the design. I was really pleased with these since most of the Russian Premier League kits (Part 1 & Part 2) either look like shit or a plain shirt with a sponsor ironed on the front.

Top Ten Worst Club Kits Of 2011-2012

2011-08-07T09:22:00.001-07:00

With many leagues already started, and the Prem kicking off in a week, its time for the Sports Optimator's annual kit rant. I'm actually semi-pleased this year, since it wasn't painful to identify ten good kits, but the crop of horrible designs was ripe and ready for criticism. I'm going to start with the ten worst, which wasn't as deep as previous years, and start a new segment I'm going to call "You Decide" since I can't be rational with the bonus 11th design. As usual, these are in no particular order, they all tend to suck fairly equally.

BORUSSIA DORTMUND (Home & Third)

Oh, how the Sports Gods test my new found interest in the Bundesliga. Gradients, and worse, dotted gradients may actually be my mortal enemy. They also lose points for having a design that has a giant blank space for the sponsor logo. I'm also really confused when it comes to Dortmund since they started 2010 with a pretty nice home kit, then changed at the end of the year to an ugly one, now they start the 2011-12 season with an even worse one. Maybe winning the Bundesliga has gone to their heads.

I'm almost sorry I started following them.

NEWCASTLE UNITED (Home)

I think the first time I saw this I may have actually muttered "There is no God" and held my head in my hands. Ever since Newcastle United got a divorce from Newcastle Brown Ale things have only gotten worse. This kit was once a classic and one of my favorites, but now its just a giant mess. The striping has been ruined, the manufacturer logo is bizarrely placed high up on the shoulder (not an improvement on Adidas' super-center-alignment approach from 2009-10), blank patch for the sponsor, and the back is a train wreck. I can't believe I'm saying this, but the kit was better last year.

I think this caused Joey Barton's twitter rant.

AC MILAN (Home)

Adidas is really testing my patience. All they really did here was change the stripe width, and it makes my blood boil. There is something decidedly unpleasant about the striping, it reminds me of an optical illusion that will no doubt cause eye strain, which is appropriate for a league that is hard to watch. Add in the white sleeves, and you have a completely forgettable kit, please go back to the wider stripes Adidas!

OLYMPIQUE MARSEILLE (Away & Third)

OM continues its tradition of bizarre kit designs yet again. The away kit isn't that offense, but I have a thing against patterned fabric, and this kit reminds me of upholstery. The third kit might actually make my eyes bleed if I look at it much longer, maybe bar codes are fashionable in France.

ARSENAL (Away)

Say it ain't so Arsene! After a few years of some great kits, the Gunners get a weird one. This looks like a rugby shirt you would buy at Abercrombie & Fitch, and it get worse thanks to one of the most entertaining players in football. I'm not making this up, when Andrei Arshavin was asked about the new away kit he said "Our guest [away] uniform next season will look like jockey clothes." I think that pretty much sums it up.

GIRONDINS DE BORDEAUX (Home, Away & Third)

Why do the French have such an obsession with sailor boys?! Ok, I get it, the team crest has a V in it, and the kit mirrors that. It still looks like a sailor outfit, like these guys are going to a Halloween party, Manchester United was able to pull off the V so it can't be that hard.

WERDER BREMEN (Home & Away)

Woof, these look horrible, especially the away Orange/Green kit. They had decent orange kits with some green two years ago, but these just look horrible. All I can think of is pumpkins, and then my eyes start to get tired with all the stripes. They lose even more points with the electrical tape font on the back that is almost as bad as Netherlands' international kits.
Side note : How is it that the Bundesliga doesn't have a standard font? The Premier League has a standard font, even the Championship and League One have one, but the Bundesliga doesn't? So few teams pull off a decent custom font (Inter Milan, Bayern Munich, Barcelona) I don't see why more leagues don't go to a standard font.

GAMBA OSAKA (Home, Away & Third)

At first I tried very hard to confine this list to the biggest leagues, but the J-League really stepped it up to make it in. These all look like they belong in the Tour de France, not on the pitch, and even the tiniest details leave me wondering what they were thinking. Their club crest has five stars, most likely representing league titles, but the arrangement of the stars is so random, they aren't even centered on the crest. Also another kit with the manufacturer's logo placed higher up on the shoulder than the crest, this must be a new trend since its spread to Umbro.

PSV EINDHOVEN (Away)

Holy hell, this kit is basically a laundry list of every design trend that makes me insane. Patterned body that doesn't match the back, solid sleeves with a patterned body, shoulder stripe, sponsor patch, and the spreading trend of another sponsor where the player's name should be while the name is now below the number.

BARCELONA (Home)

This initially drew my ire because it appeared that Nike was going to use this striping pattern on four other kits (Inter Milan, Juventus, and Atletico Madrid), which drives me nuts. World Cup kits often leave me disappointed because manufacturers just come out with one kit, slap on the crest, and change the colors. Its boring, and sad, and I thought this was going to happen. Luckily for everyone else it looks like Nike decided that only Barcelona's kit would be ugly. Nike messed with the stripes, this seems to be a theme this year, and made a mess out of a kit that usually looks good. The only upside is that they got rid of the horrible electric yellow from last year.

YOU DECIDE

FRENCH NATIONAL TEAM (Away)

Of all the kits I looked at, I found myself spending an enormous amount of time thinking about this one. The first time I saw this I paused a moment and said "This looks like a gondola pilot's uniform", and I was pretty damn close. Apparently this was inspired by the French Navy, more specifically La Mariniére which is a 19th century naval uniform. I get where they are going here, everyone likes Breton stripes, and they do look good, but I couldn't help laughing a little. After the farce France pulled at the 2010 World Cup, I would assume they would steer clear of anything even remotely comical, but maybe in France this is a source of enormous pride. If this was any other country (well, aside from Italy) I wouldn't have found anything funny.

If Samir Nasri comes out in a red snood I will die laughing.

NCAA Football 12 Demo & Teambuilder Impressions

2011-06-29T16:39:00.000-07:00

Before I get into the review I need to let you know that I had to look at this from two angles; one as someone new to the game, and one as a veteran of the NCAA Football series. I am a long time fan of the series, and over the years EA has been dragging its feet in a number of areas (which I will get to a little), so my opinion of the game has been tainted by years of disappointment and flimsy excuses. I tend to frequent the EA forum for the NCAA Football series, so I know what kinds of comments the players make every year and how EA responds, so I had to look at this game from two perspectives to be fair.

The demo was released on June 28th, and the Teambuilder website went live on June 30th, so I've had a few days to fiddle with both. Sadly, and most likely on purpose, EA has not given the demo the instant replay or screen grab functions so I've had to borrow from Operation Sports (www.operationsports.com) and Pasta Padre (pastapadre at Youtube.com) to spruce up this post. The demo is also limited to 2:00 halves, so the games went quickly and I wasn't able to scrutinize the game play as much as I'd hoped.

PRESENTATION

This was no surprise since EA beats us over the head with all of the presentation improvements. I like to call it a new shade of lipstick for the same old pig, and over the years it seems that they spend the bulk of their time and energy on this, and it shows. This year they introduced a number of program specific team entrances, implemented High-Dynamic-Range (HDR) Lighting, and three dimensional grass. Only downside of the entrances is that not all teams have one, but I didn't really expect them to do this. Hopefully they removed the horribly generic and half-baked bands they introduced in '11.

A few team entrances (Thanks to Pasta Padre)

EA has also continued to add more and more equipment for personalization, but they seriously failed in the player customization department. I have to give them credit for adding more helmet, face mask, glove, and miscellaneous equipment options. I can't personally view these options until the game comes out, but I've seen enough pictures to feel comfortable that they are in the game. As for the player models, I think '12 has one of EA's biggest jokes. For years players have wanted hair options back in the game, and many have flooded the forums with requests for hair (the demand for dreadlocks was high), so what did EA do? They gave us dreads, one kind on a single player model. All they did was add a single African American player model with long black dreadlocks, and I can't tell if I should be disappointed or insulted.

Oregon-Texas (Operation Sports)

The majority of the presentation is perfectly fine, the three dimensional grass can only be seen in up close shots and I don't really care about it all that much. The game looks really good, as it has in past years, so I'm mostly happy with this. Score : 9/10.

FEATURES

I really wish they had given us access to some of the features, like custom playbooks, but the only thing you can do in the demo is play an Oregon-Texas or Alabama-Florida State game. The big features they have been touting this year are custom playbooks, custom conferences, and something they are calling the Coaching Carousel.

I'll have to reserve some judgement on these, since I can't give you a first hand account, but I know the fans have been screaming for custom playbooks for years. It looks like we can finally build our own and choose which plays and formations we want to use, which for me is a big deal. I'm pretty lukewarm on the custom conferences because they gave us a half-baked version of it in '11 that left everyone disappointed, and now we get a functional version.* From what I've seen you can build conferences from scratch, assign title games and affiliated bowls, and even toggle AQ status. The Coaching Carousel has "We'll get it right next year" written all over it for me based on the existing information. Apparently you can start in a dynasty as an offensive or defensive coordinator and only have control over your side of the ball (very nice), and as the seasons go on you have the option to move to other schools and take on a head coaching position (also very nice). What hasn't been made clear is whether or not you can hire an OC/DC when you are a head coach, and they haven't said anything about the effect an OC/DC has on recruiting. I'm pretty disappointed here, just see the custom conferences rant below.

* Quick tangent on EA and their incomplete features. They seem to make it a point to add features that don't work properly, or don't function as they should, with the intention that in the future it will work. In '11 you could only swap teams, or replace an existing team with a Teambuilder one. If you replaced a team, the Teambuilder team would inherit the rivals of the team it replaced with no way to reassign them. You were also limited by the existing conference structure, if you wanted to create a new 12 team conference with a title game (like the Pac-12) you would have to dismantle an existing 12 team conference and possibly lose your AQ standing.

Score : N/A.

GAME PLAY

I didn't play that many games, and the ones I played were limited to 2:00 quarters, but I didn't need long to spot all of the red flags. When it comes to the issue of game play I need to be upfront about my feelings on '11; it was awful. I hated the game play in '11, and as far as I was concerned it was a low point in the franchise. EA refuses to put enough effort into fixing the game play, instead opting for presentation (the new shade of lipstick) and false improvements. In '11 they touting an improved blocking system, which fooled me enough to buy the game, but after hundreds of games (and even more expletives) I realized that all they did was put defenders on rails (more about this later) and make holding legal and frequent. Those who bought the game right away were met with the Route Mirroring fiasco, where defenders in man coverage would run a receiver's route before they did, so you would have receivers following their defender and nowhere to throw the ball.

Despite my previous comments, I was pleasantly surprised with the new upgrades. The biggest game play upgrades this year were improved animations/player interactions and zone coverage. The game has been plagued by "warping" for years, where blockers/receivers will slide or warp into place to make a block or catch a ball. This has been attributed to flaws in the animation sequence, and based on what I have seen so far this may have been fixed. They also made momentum a factor, as in previous years a stationary defender could absolutely destroy a player running at full speed and send him flying backwards. This year the animations look much better, and the momentum improvements look great.

As for zone coverage, I'm a little torn here. Zone coverage in '11 was a joke, just completely useless. Players would drop to their zones, and just stand in the middle of the zone. If you ever used a zone coverage against the CPU it would completely eviscerate you, and it was marginally useful against other players in zone blitzes. Aside from that, I wouldn't be caught dead calling a zone coverage. This year they improved the coverage, but may have gone a little too far (like the Route Mirroring fiasco) from what I've seen. For years EA has failed to understand that a defender in a back pedal, no matter what position, isn't even remotely as fast as a player running forward in a full sprint. This failure remains in '12, and when you add this to the new zone coverage you get a bunch of guys in backpedals in short bursts of perfect man coverage. I've seen a number of clips where a defensive lineman is able to cover a WR effectively in zone coverage, and this makes me extremely wary. In '11 defensive lineman were better in pass coverage than most defensive backs, this included jumping up in the air and battling balls down way over their heads with perfect precision. I like the attempt at making the coverage useful, which I found it in the games I played, but I'm certain that further scrutiny will reveal enormous problems.

Some game footage (Pasta Padre)

It didn't take me long to notice the return of the single biggest problem with game play for me, and it pretty much doomed '12 in my eyes. The defenders are still on rails, a deal breaker for me that signals that the blocking AI is still atrocious. In '11 EA put the defenders on rails, which means that the defensive line and any blitzing linebacker will essentially run a route. These defenders rush to spots on the field, and they will always rush to those spots no matter where you move the defender. If you have two blitzing outside linebackers coming inside the defensive ends, and then decide you want to flex them outside of the ends and pinch down the line, you get this comical situation where your defenders run all the way over to their assigned spots (See diagram below). I hate this, its stupid, its how EA "improved" the blocking schemes in '11.

Defenders on rails.

The CPU also seems to play by a different set of rules yet again. I did like that the pass rush was more realistic, but when I was on defense I was getting absolutely no penetration and my lineman were being held. I wasn't able to get to the QB to see if they fixed the issues with a QB being tackled getting off a perfect pass 20 yards down field, but I'm willing to bet they didn't fix it. My biggest problem with '11 was how bad the defensive AI was, and it seems like nothing has changed aside from the zone coverage.

This pretty much killed '12 for me, especially when I saw my defense was still on rails. Score : 4/10 (as a long time player), 8/10 (new player).

TEAMBUILDER 2012

I'm not going to spend too much time on this, but I am going to say this is a perfect example of how EA revels in its lack of innovation. For the third lackluster year in a row they don't provide a variety of generic stadiums, all you can choose from is a generic bowl style and a generic pro style. Yet again they don't have Ohio State's shoulder stripe template, but they did get Iowa's face mask color right after two years of making them grey. Still no generic mascots, and from what I can tell they only added one new one. The field design options are extremely limited, but they really weren't thinking when they gave us the option to use an existing field for a custom team.** The final straw for me was the same three font choices for the third year in a row, and to make it worse the chest text option is still a steaming pile of crap. You are limited to ten characters and the same three fonts nobody uses. I applaud EA's commitment to a lack of excellence here.

** Ok, sorry for another tangent, but this pissed me off. So people have been demanding more endzone design options, like Tennessee's and Notre Dame's. So what does EA do? They give us the existing fields. I want a checkered endzone, but what the hell am I going to do with Tennessee's field if my team isn't named Tennessee and the school colors aren't orange and white? This is yet another sign that EA doesn't care about improving the game, just making enough changes to market a "new" game. So frustrating.

Score : 2/10 (as a long time player), 6/10 (new player).

FINAL VERDICT

After playing the demo and being horribly disappointed by Teambuilder (yet again), I can confidently say I'm not going to be buying this game or any other NCAA Football game for a few years. I didn't even get into the lack of FCS schools, and I won't, but maybe when the PS5 comes out EA will put out a decent game for once. With that in mind, if you have never played an NCAA Football game before you will probably like it. I'm excited about a number of the features I mentioned, and I like the presentation alot, but I won't be enjoying them.

Overall : 5/10 (as a long time player), 8/10 (new player).

Fantasy Baseball 2011 - 70 Games Down

2011-05-31T18:30:00.001-07:00

I doubt anyone cares, I certainly didn't, but you may have noticed that I skipped a few entries. I've spent the past few weeks questioning my will to live, well not really, just my will to go on managing my team. As far as I'm concerned Andrew and I have been eliminated as possible champs, so all we can do is squabble over finishing in the money.

Andrew has fallen farther in the standings and the gap between him and #1 is probably the biggest its been all season. The team in first, who thankfully deposed the benefactor of Trade Gate, has 65 points and Andrew sits at 6th with 48. His problem is clear; hitting. Offensively the Teabaggers aren't hitting aside from Joey Votto, Brian McCann, and Lance Berkman. If you ever talk to Andrew he will gladly give you lecture about how Dan Uggla, Shin-Soo Choo, Kasey McGehee, Billy Butler, and Jason Bay are killing his team. I actually get up on a daily basis and thank the Baseball Gods that Uggla and his .177 average isn't on my team, and it makes it even worse that he has only hit 8HR and driven in 18RBI. At least Andrew's pitching staff remains awesome, so awesome that if it were mine I would be in first.

Seriously, who knew Jason Bay would suck?

My team is currently in the middle of a catastrophic free fall, which I should have known was coming. I'm losing players left and Wright (oh, that was so clever), and my roster is such a fucking mess with regards to position eligibility. If David Wright isn't done for the season and comes off the DL I think my roster will literally burst into flames. I've got Wright, Matt Holliday, Brett Anderson (probably also done for the season), and (gleefully) Derek Jeter on the DL. Add in Mike "I just got sent down to the minors" Aviles and I'm just sick and tired of losing games/at bats.

Killing me slowly (Shown in order of how much I hate them.)

The only upside to my current situation is that I've still got the best offense in the league. I spent most of my draft capital on hitting, so I'm happy things are working out, but my fingers-crossed pitching strategy has produced the 7th best staff... not good. I managed to snag Ryan Vogelsong for Brett Anderson, and I made a deal with the roster devil to get Eric Hosmer for Aviles. So my season is now riding on two youngsters that are all potential. I'm going to go throw up now.

The (frighteningly) young faces of hope.

Current Status
Bert - Nothing is fucked?! The God damn plane has crashed into the mountain!
Andrew - Nothing is fucked?! The God damn plane has crashed into the mountain!

Fantasy Baseball 2011 - 40 Games Down

2011-05-15T21:28:00.000-07:00

Oh the mighty Baseball Gods have not been kind these past few weeks. They shower us with gifts and then kick us in the teeth, but it hurts so good. There hasn't been too much change in the overall standings as I float between first and second, and Andrew remains mired in fifth. Unfortunately the benefactor of the dubious trade has climbed into third, and I couldn't be more upset.

Based on some of our conversations I'm not sure if Andrew will live past the end of May. I've been trying to tell him the season is just 1/4th over, but his standards of play are so high it might as well be October. Andrew just got Victor Martinez off and Zach Greinke off the DL, so he should have some hitting and pitching help on the way. I don't think it matters since he hit the lottery with the free agent additions of Michael Pineda (5-2, 52K, 2.45ERA, 1.01WHIP) and the streaking Anibal Sanchez, but Andrew lost Dallas Braden for the season. His deep pitching staff is struggling, headed by his beloved Chris Carpenter (1-4, 4.88ERA), and the now-mortal Jered Weaver and Dan Haren. His hitting has slowed as well, but with a number of studs having bad starts (Dan Uggla, Shin-Soo Choo, Billy Butler) he should be in for an upswing. If it weren't for Jose Bautista's monstrous start he would have the best player in baseball, Joey Votto, so he shouldn't be in 5th for too long.

Maybe next year.

I can't complain all that much since I've stayed in the Top 3 all year, but I actually have a serious problem brewing. David Wright's season is over, well, they haven't said that yet but I'm assuming it is. Wright has been diagnosed with a stress fracture in his back, which I read as "broken back" followed by cursing at the Baseball Gods. This is just like last season when I lost Kevin Youkilis, a four stat stud, but this time its a five stat stud. This all comes off the merry-go-round I have at 2B/SS, which is causing me heartburn. I (finally) dropped Sean Rodriguez, simply because he wasn't starting, and added Mike Aviles only to see him drop into the role of a spot starter. I assumed Aviles would be a starter, since he is listed as one on the Royals depth chart, but he seems to start every other game.

I was too lazy to photoshop in Rodriguez and Aviles, but you get the idea.

At least I can pat myself on the back a little over the Roy Oswalt DL situation. I knew Oswalt would only be out a week, so I managed to avoid the temptation of adding Alexi Ogando or Zach Britton. Ogando and Britton would only start once that week, also because of our waiver rules when Oswalt came back I would make those two available to the rest of the league, so I went for Jhoulys Chacin of the Rockies. Chacin is currently leading the Rockies in Wins, Ks, and ERA, plus he had two starts that week away from Coors Field. In both starts (Padres and Mets) he faced toothless teams in pitchers parks and went 1-0 with 11K, 4ER, and 8BB in 12IP, not bad. In that same week Ogando (1-0, 5K, ER, BB) and Britton (5K CG Shutout) both pitched well, so at least I didn't serve them up for everyone else. Not the league-winning stroke of managerial genius I had hoped for, but at least I made the right choice.

Its pronounced "Yo-lease"

Current Status
Bert - There's no ransom if you don't have a fucking hostage. That's what ransom is. Those are the fucking rules.
Andrew - Nothing is fucked?! The God damn plane has crashed into the mountain!

Fantasy Baseball 2011 - 30 Games Down

2011-05-08T16:03:00.001-07:00

What the Baseball Gods giveth, the Baseball Gods taketh away. Thus is the tale of the past week, and luckily they took a little bit more away from Andrew than they did from me. I have to admit that is a short term view of the situation, but I'm feeling a little better about the long term.

From the ashes of my riskiest selections rise two pitching performances to put me at ease for a few days. First Max Scherzer showed why people have been so high on him by tossing a gem (8IP, 4H, BB, 9K and the W), and then Yovani Gallardo tried to prove to me that he isn't shit by just barely missing a no-no (8IP, H, 4BB, 6K and a much needed W) and extending his stay on my team. Also, it makes me a little sick to say it, but... Derek Jeter finally had a great day. I feel dirty. He went 4/6 with 2HR, raising his season total to 2 and making me hate him just a little bit less.

I did not photoshop his eyes. He actually has two different color eyes.

These things were nice, but I have my share of pain on the way. After dicking around with Carlos Ruiz for a week the Phillies finally put him on the DL, so I'll finally get a warm body in at Catcher. I'm also facing another week, and possibly more, without Roy Oswalt. Oswalt took off a week to attend to his family in Mississippi, which is fine, but now he is headed for the DL with back problems. I'm not looking forward to playing the DL game, but as long as its not my best players I'm ok.

Andrew has not had a good week. Jered Weaver proved to be mortal in a loss to Boston, and then followed that up with a loss to Cleveland. Weaver allowed 7 runs in two games after only allowing 5 in his first six (all wins), not to mention only six strikeouts (0 against Cleveland). Weaver's ERA has exploded, going from .99 to a humiliating 1.87, and his spot in the Angels rotation is at risk. If he allows any more runs he could get sent down to AAA before the end of May. In actuality that is the worst thing to happen aside from falling to 5th in the standings, which is the equivalent of death to him. Lance Berkman continues to destroy the league, he added the studly Michael Pineda and Brandon Beachy (DL add for Dallas Braden) who are pitching like Aces, Dan Haren is back to being Dan Haren, and Joey Votto continues his campaign to knock off Albert Pujols as baseball's top player.

Current Status
Bert - Well they can fucking unpost it!
Andrew - Nothing is fucked?! The God damn plane has crashed into the mountain!

Fantasy Baseball 2011 - 20 Games Down

2011-04-22T15:15:00.001-07:00

Ah, what a season so far. Nothing earth shattering has happened, but at the current rate Andrew and I might be very pleased by the end of the season. We had our first trade of the season in the league, and Andrew and I are still trying to get over how bad it was. You can't have a good season without some controversy.

Andrew is busy at the moment building a monument to Jered Weaver. Weaver is 6-0 in 6 starts with 49K, an ERA of .99, and a .79 WHIP. You might say that he is having a good start to the season, and I would say that I'm annoyed that I wasn't more aggressive in bidding for him.

For the Baseball Gods so loved the world...

I wish I has someone to harp about on my team, but with Matt Kemp coming down to earth a bit I'm stuck just hoping Yovani Gallardo and Max Scherzer don't screw me over on a weekly basis. In the time it took me to start this post and get to this sentence Scherzer went from 5 shutout innings and 7K to 7IP and 5ER. Its going to be a long season for me... again. At least Matt Holliday is hitting .423 and looking fatter than ever.

Now for the trade. It was bad, it started out much worse, but after a league wide outcry it was watered down from complete shit to just flat our crap. The first form of the trade was Tim Lincecum and Wandy Rodriguez for Francisco Liriano and Gavin Floyd. Why you would give up Lincecum for a shit sandwich is beyond me, and we blocked it. Sadly it came back and was begrudgingly approved as Lincecum, Rodriguez, and Joba Chamberlain for Liriano, Floyd, and Ricky Nolasco. So now one team has Roy Halladay, Tim Lincecum, Clayton Kershaw, and Justin Verlander. This trade makes no sense no matter how I look at it.

Current Status
Bert - That rug really tied the room together, did it not?
Andrew - Way to go Donny!

Nike Finally Gets Something (Mostly) Right

2011-04-22T15:12:00.000-07:00

After years of violating our visual senses, it looks like Nike has come up with something good. I'm hoping this spreads to other schools, but I'm not going to hold my breath hoping for something good at Oregon, Miami, or Virginia Tech. Nike's Pro Combat designs have been flat out horrible, and the three people that read this blog know how I feel about them. Nike seems to have broken away from the Pro Combat looks in creating Arizona States new uniforms, and I am delightfully surprised.

The 2010 edition. Horrible.

ASU had one of the worst uniform sets last year, mainly the maroon-on-maroon home look that makes me bleed internally. Nike has gone with a complete overhaul of the current look and added a black uniform set. They ditched the golden yellow piping, and most interestingly they dumped Sparky their long time logo/mascot. This is an obvious, and effective, attempt by Nike and ASU to bring a little more attention to their football program. If you google "Arizona State University" images you will quickly realize what the school is known for, and it isn't football.

A quick search for "Arizona State" yielded this, its the tamest one that came up.

The Good : I'm so happy they stuck with the traditional golden yellow and maroon colors, not a huge fan of maroon but considering the game of color hot potato they have been playing up in Eugene this is a plus. I don't have anything against Sparky, but the new helmet logo is great. I didn't come up with this, and if I could remember where I heard it I'd give them credit, but Sparky kinda looks like Walt Disney in a devil costume. The new trident logo is simple, relates to Sparky, and works really well as a helmet logo.

Sparky vs. new trident logo and ASU text.

I'm also happy they simplified the jersey and pants, getting rid of all piping and pants stripes. The addition of the trident shoulder striping is also a great move. Its similar to USC's shoulder stripes, which are a classic look, but with a modern twist. I'm not a huge fan of black uniforms if black isn't one of your school colors, but whatever. I'd feel better if they only used the black helmet and pants together with the white or maroon jersey, but I'm sure they will mix and match like Oregon. Also, I like the change to a Florida State style number font.

The 2011 edition. Very nice.

Bonus points for the tasteful Pat Tillman tribute on the collar. The marketing photos make the logo seem extremely prominent, but when you look at the players wearing them its very subtle.

The Almost Bad : My biggest gripe is with the ASU text on the shoulders. They just don't seem to fit in, I'm not sure if I can explain it. They look like Nike panicked because the uniforms look so different from previous years, so they needed something to let you know its Arizona State. I would have gone with numbers here like USC. I also have a long standing hatred for gradient numbers, which you see on the black jerseys.

Gradient numbers, my mortal enemy.

Overall this is a big win for Nike and Arizona State. Worst case scenario I go on to hate the ASU on the shoulders and best case scenario it helps the people of Tempe forget that their team sucks.

Fantasy Baseball 2011 - 10 Games Down

2011-04-12T17:12:00.001-07:00

The season is well under way, and I'm going to try and make this short. I'd love to spend alot of time rehashing the first 10 games, but there are 152 left and its useless to freak out. If you had told me that Team A would be 10-4 and Team B would be 3-10 to start the season, and asked me to predict their seasons I would stare at you blankly. Just for the record, Team A is the Kansas City Royals and Team B is the Boston Red Sox. Do we really think KC will be that much better than Boston? No, lets all relax.

After a draft day meltdown Andrew is feeling much better. With the way Jered Weaver, Dan Haren, and Tommy Hanson have started the season he could be feeling good for a while. Hanson has been pretty good, but Weaver and Haren have won 6 of their 7 combined starts. Andrew is so lucky that Haren actually picked up a win in an epic 14 inning game where he came in and pitched a single inning. Weaver currently leads the majors in K's, so things are looking up for the defending champ. Andrew's biggest concern is Matt Thornton, who just can't save a game to save his life. The guy blew four consecutive saves, and may not get another chance.

Looks like one apple fell really far from the tree.

I'm trying to relax, but I have two very serious concerns on my team. I am getting murdered by Sean Rodriguez and Ben Zobrist of the Rays. Both guys are hitting under .200, and Rodriguez has been displaced by flavor-of-the-month Sam Fuld. If that wasn't bad enough Fuld went to Stanfurd! I'm even more annoyed because I have been firmly perched in the Top 3 (enjoying some time at the top) despite these clowns. My team would be awesome without them, but whatever. My team is freakishly piling up walks and my "worst buy", Matt Kemp, is fucking destroying the league. Kemp is hitting .440 at the moment, his 8 SB are leading the majors, and he looks to be on track for a 20+ homer season. I realize these will change, at this pace he would steal 86 bases, but its nice to have someone playing well.

Apparently breaking up with Rihanna makes you hit over .400

Current Status
Bert - The Dude abides.
Andrew - No, he's a sex offender. With a record.

Bundesliga : We Have Winner

2011-04-12T17:11:00.001-07:00

Well after four months and alot of schadenfreude I think its safe to call a winner. I've definitely grown to enjoy the Bundesliga and cultivated my hate for Bayern Munich. I think its also nice that my dislike of Schalke has really matured right before they face Manchester United in the Champions League.

Borussia Dortmund : WIN! I'm a little conflicted because they may win the Bundesliga. I would hate to pick a team just because they won the league, but thankfully I'm drawn to more than that. They had an "insurmountable" lead at one point, but its shrunk to 5 points with 5 games to go. They only play one team in the top half of the table (Nurnberg, 6th) and get a game against relegation bound Borussia Monchengladbach. The team behind them (Bayer Leverkusen) has a tough game against Bayern Munich, so Dortmund should have the title in hand.

Is there a Japanese equivalent of schadenfreude?

I also have a small man crush on Shinji Kagawa, so I'm going to spend the summer very worried. I read that Liverpool's sponsor (Standard Chartered) wants them to buy an Asian player to boost marketing in Asia, very similar to what Manchester United has experienced with Park Ji-Sung. If Liverpool buy Kagawa, I'm going to be seriously upset.

Bayer Leverkusen : ELIMINATED. Pretty close 2nd. As the season has gone on I've grown to like Arturo Vidal. Prior to the season I had never heard of him, but he has put together a very solid season for Leverkusen with 9 goals and 8 assists (leads the team in both stats currently). I've also grown to like Renato Augusto, who is also having a good season for Leverkusen. Both guys are 23, so I'm sure they will be tormenting me for some time.

Eintracht Frankfurt : ELIMINATED. Very middle of the road team that has mainly provided me with some comedy. Their top scorer is Theofanis Gekas, a 30 year old Greek international, who has scored 16 goals for Frankfurt. The next highest scorer? Four players are tied at 2 goals. Frankfurt have scored a total of 29 goals, worst in the league, and Mr. Gekas has over half of them.

Kaisersluatern : ELIMINATED. Despite the prodding of my friend, I just didn't connect with these guys.

Werder Bremen : ELIMINATED. These guys were the heavy favorites to start the season, and all they managed to do was suck. Per Mertesacker missed alot of games with a serious facial injury, and then spent the rest of the season insisting that he wasn't going to be sold to Arsenal. They seemed really burned out when they were in the Champions League and did little to nothing to impress me. Their kits also make my eyes bleed.

VfL Wolfsburg : ELIMINATED. Currently in the relegation zone. Their top goalscorer (Edin Dzeko) hasn't been on the team in nearly four months. Their high profile coach has been fired. Unless the town of Wolfsburg bursts into flames I doubt things can get much worse.

Fantasy Baseball 2011 - Draft Autopsy

2011-04-05T18:40:00.000-07:00

We have waited patiently for months, endured annoying Giants fans, reviewed our strategies, re-reviewed, compiled our spreadsheets, and now the wait is over. It's fantasy baseball season at the Sports Optimator, and as the first week of games goes by, it's time for the post draft autopsy. This year the draft was held after opening day, so we spent three days trying not to freak out about horrible starts (Jon Lester anyone?) and hot bats (Nelson Cruz, Ian Kinsler, anyone facing Boston...), which was not easy. In the end, neither of us got the team we planned for, but that may be a good thing for some, and not for others.

The Draft
Bert - I have a boring and fairly conservative draft strategy that changed a little this year. I'm not concerned with landing the best player, but this year I was very concerned with landing a top SS and 3B. The weakest positions this year are SS, 3B, and 2B, so if you don't get one of the top 2-3, it's a long way to the bottom. The top 2B's aren't nearly as good as SS (Hanley Ramirez, Troy Tulowitzki) or 3B (Evan Longoria, David Wright, Ryan Zimmerman) so I decided that I would come out with one of each or die trying. I retained my deep love for 20-20 players, mostly outfielders this year, and I didn't want to spend more than $1 on catchers or closers. I really, really, really wanted Prince Fielder this year. Fielder was #1 in BB (111) last year, he is 27 (statistically players tend to peak at 27) and it's a contract year, so he should have a monster season. I also decided not to spend money on a Top 5 pitcher and roll the dice with mid-range affordable arms, since pitching is so random and always screws me over. My draft calling card is feasting on mid-range players when everyone else has spent way too much for the top players; very dependable and low-risk, but lacks upside.

Andrew - I could delve into my draft strategy, but then I'd have to kill Bert. Oh, Bert knows all about my Teutonic devotion to value, and he knows about the great site, Last Player Picked, which I mostly rely on for said values, but one component of my draft preparation remains shrouded in secrecy. Just to live up to my reputation for insufferable arrogance, though, because I wouldn't want to disappoint anyone, I will say that since I implemented it two years ago it hasn't let me down. Two years, two championships. And, running counter to my actual (horrendous) start, and despite gifting Bert a few players, my projections have me finishing first again. Mwuahahahaa.

As an aside, I'm thinking Furor Teutonicus might be a good name for my team next year.

The Aftermath
Bert - Well, I almost completely abandoned my top priorities but it all worked out in the end. I think. Han-Ram and Tulo went for a lot; I wasn't willing to go much over $30 for Tulo and he went for $34, so I basically walked away from SS. Then my 2B target, Dustin Pedrioa, went for $24, which was basically $4 more than I was willing to pay for a 2B not named Dan Uggla. The draft Gods smiled upon me, though, when I was able to snag David Wright for $29, but then they cursed me by letting me get Matt Kemp for $28. I completely folded on Prince Fielder, and that is when the panic set in. Fielder went for $29, way more than I thought, and I just couldn't go to $30. No Tulo, no Fielder, and my only pitcher at this point was Yovani Gallardo. With a whole bunch of money left I was able to get Matt Holliday for a discount (appendectomies rule) and hoard 20-20 outfielders. I missed out on Cole Hamels, who went for $23, but I fell ass-backwards into Max Scherzer for $9. I was also able to take advantage of Andrew's late draft cash problems and walk away with Matt Cain ($15), Brett Anderson ($9), Johnathan Sanchez ($11), and Gio Gonzalez ($8). I must credit Andrew with a purchase I didn't plan to make; Carlos Santana. I avoided spending more than $30 on a player, and went with a budget pitching staff, so when Santana could be had for $12, Andrew goaded me into it. With the depth at 2B/SS I decided to invest in a catcher and pay $1 for a warm body at the end of the draft. After having a heart attack to start the draft, I finished with a team that should finish in the Top 3.

C - Carlos Santana (CLE)
C - Carlos Ruiz (PHI)
1B - Kevin Youkilis (BOS)
2B - Ben Zobrist (TB)
SS - Derek Jeter (NYY, may the baseball gods forgive me...)
3B - David Wright (NYM)
OF - Matt Kemp (LAD)
OF - Matt Holliday (STL)
OF - Alex Rios (CHW)
OF - Henter Pence (HOU)
OF - Bobby Abreu (LAA)
1B/3B - Paul Konerko (CHW)
2B/SS - Sean Rodriguez (TB, this is my $1 warm body.)
UTIL - David Ortiz (BOS, I had to get BB since I missed out on Fielder.)

P - Yovani Gallardo (MIL)
P - Roy Oswalt (PHI)
P - Matt Cain (SF)
P - Max Scherzer (DET)
P - Brett Anderson (OAK)
P - Johnathan Sanchez (SF)
P - Gio Gonzalez (OAK)
P - Leo Nunez (FLA)
P - Kevin Gregg (BAL)

The usual suspects. Six guys back from a 4th place team that imploded down the stretch, what could possibly go wrong?

Best Buy - Max Scherzer ($9) - if he has a good year, $9 is a bargain.
Worst Buy - Matt Kemp ($28) - Shin-Soo Choo went for $19.

30-30 season or an expensive pain in the ass. Time will tell.

Andrew - It was a weird draft. Every year, most people in our league, aside from the two of us, prematurely ejaculate over basically anyone that you throw out there. A few years ago we even had Derek Jeter go for $37. $37! This year was no different, in fact I think it was worse than usual, and for the first round and a half, any top-20 player was going for $35+. Bert and I were sitting there, incredulously shocked, appalled, and happy at our good fortune, as each team's budget was effectively destroyed on one player. One factor in play, we think, is that our league tracks BBs instead of runs, and most price guides are based on runs scored. So Bert and I throw big runs-scored guys out there like Crawford and Cano and watch the feeding frenzy ensue.

Anyway, at some point in the draft, maybe when Pujols went for $43 - $5 under value - or maybe when Mauer went for $23 - another $5-off discount, people seemed to readjust to their dwindling coffers, and the draft got weird. You would think this would be a great time for people with extra cash to move in and feast, and you would be half-right. Bert, aside from blowing his wad on Matt Kemp, regained some self control and dignity and drafted pretty well from there on out. I, on the other hand, was too inflexible, too committed to getting certain targeted guys, meaning I overpaid for a few guys (hellooo, Victor Martinez), and let too many other guys go for too little. And, most inexcusable of all, I ended up with $8 left in the bank. What? This has never happened to me before, and it makes me very, very nervous. It makes me even more nervous when the other three teams that I've projected to finish in the top four are occupying the top three, and as this is being written, I'm struggling to move out of dead last. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the season's a marathon and it's only week one, but still.

C - Victor Martinez (DET) - Good average and decent power, but would it kill him to walk a little more?
C - Brian McCann (ATL) - I've had this guy every year since I can remember. So solid, so consistent.
1B - Joey Votto (CIN) - The poor man's Pujols. This year he could be even better. Fair value at $36.
2B - Dan Uggla (ATL) - I've also owned Uggla a lot, and he's never let me down. Well worth the $21.
SS - Stephen Drew (ARI) - His numbers say he's underrated; I remain unconvinced but hopeful.
3B - Casey McGehee (MIL) - If his numbers continue on their upward trajectory, a steal for $1. If.
OF - Jayson Werth (WAS) - I don't love this pick. Washington's park is not exactly a hitter's paradise.
OF - Shin Soo-Choo (CLE) - Great player, but I paid nearly full value for him.

OF - Jason Kubel (MIN) - Where my draft started to go downhill. Kubel is not a poor man's Swisher.

OF - Jason Bay (NYM) - Massive upside, minimal risk for $1, if he's not permanently concussed.

OF - Lance Berkman (STL) - Scares the bejeesus out of me. If I get 87 BBs and 18 HR I'll take it.

CI - Billy Butler (KC) - Numbers are going up across the board. I love him for $9.
2B - Howie Kendrick (LAA) - I had to pony up $9 for him, but he hit 41 2Bs in '10. Optimistic.
UTIL - Adam LaRoche - Still flying under the radar. I expect 25 HRs and 85+ RBIs. No BBs, though.

P - Dan Haren (LAA) - I'm counting on the aberration of 2010's first half to vanish like snow before the sun.

P - Tommy Hanson (ATL) - Not enough years stats to make me comfortable. Plus never trust a ginger.

P - Ted Lilly (LAD) - I hate this guy's face and his Cub background, but for $6 could I go wrong? So far, yes.

P - Zach Greinke (MIL) - Banking on his rib injury to unlock some deep value for $14.

P - Jered Weaver (LAA) - Thinking that his K numbers from '10 are not a fluke. Early numbers are backing me up.

P - Chris Carpenter (STL) - So good, so fragile, and he pitches to contact. Cain for $16 would've been better.

P - Javier Vazquez (FLA) - Hold my nose and pray for the Ks to come back. Florida's park can't hurt. Right?

P - Dallas Braden (OAK) - Don't win, don't strike guys out - what do you do? Oh, well, decent ERA and WHIP.

P - Chris Perez (CLE) - 30+ saves for $2. I'll take it.

I choo-choo-choose you!

Best Buy - Based on projected numbers, Ted Lilly went for $13 less than he should have, but if Bay comes back to hit ~22 HRs and walks 80 times, he's the steal of the draft for me, maybe the league.
Worst Buy - V-Mart ($23) when I probably could've had Mauer for $25. Bollocks.

For me, the draft is mostly based on projected numbers relative to projected value, and then the real season starts. Right now, it's ugly. No strikeouts, low wins, horrible WHIP, and a laughably low RBI total despite top-3 HRs. My team must be channeling the Cardinals, who scored less runs in their first 9 games than all other iterations of their team since 1919. They suck. They and their clueless manager will continue to suck. 10 days in, and I am more panicked than Ryan Franklin on the mound in the ninth.

Hindsight Is 20/20

Worst Buy Overall - This is tough, but I'm going to have to say Joba Chamberlain ($7). One of the worst things you can do in our league is buy a non-closer relief pitcher, and someone paid $7 for one! The next worst would be Manny Ramirez for $4, but the buyer had no way to know he would get busted for doping and retire suddenly.

The numbers back up Bert's pick - the buyer overpaid by $21! Ha!

Best Buy - Jaime Garcia ($3). If Garcia's arm doesn't fall off this could be the bargain of the draft; he was excellent last year before being shut down.

I'm still (optimistically) nominating Jason Bay, but it's not an overly confident pick.

Massive Upside - Josh Johnson ($14) / Max Scherzer ($9). Johnson pitched like a Top 5 pitcher last year before an injury ended his season, but he still has a serious injury concern this year. He has already pitched well, so it's entirely possible he stays healthy and competes for the NL Cy Young. Scherzer is unproven, but finished so well after coming up from a stint in the minors last season that everyone has been saying he has Top 10 upside.

Jason Bay ($1) Bay, Bay, Bay. If I repeat his name like a mantra for the next ten days, will my horrifically low RBI numbers bounce back?

Current Status
Bert - The Dude abides.
Andrew - Nothing is fucked?! The God damn plane has crashed into the mountain!

Arsenal Everton 2-1 Highlights (February 1, 2011)

2011-02-02T07:49:00.000-08:00

A0-1E

Simão | Myspace Video

A1-1E

Simão | Myspace Video

A2-1E

Simão | Myspace Video

Arsenal - Ipswich Town Highlights

2011-01-25T18:56:00.000-08:00

BENDTNER!!!!!!!

When he scores goals like these, you can see why he's so quick to trumpet his own skills. That was quite a nice goal. He scored a really nice arcing goal against Man City in the first half, too, that was similar to this one. Nice to also see Arshavin with a nice assist, after his recent run of fairly horrible form. On to Wembley.

http://soccermaniax.com/2011/01/arsenal-vs-ipswich-town-3-0-highlights-carling-cup/

Bundesliga : First Report Of 2011

2011-01-19T18:36:00.000-08:00

I feel like its been a year since I last updated my search for a team, but there is still a little less than half a season left. I can't tell if I managed to start this at the right time, with Bayern Munich struggling, so the standings may be deceptive over the long term. I'm loving Bayern's problems, whats that word? Oh yes, schadenfreude.

Borussia Dortmund : UP. Way up, Dortmund has been on fire. There are still alot of games to play, but they currently sit 13 points clear at the top of the Bundesliga. They have two 8 goal scorers in Shinji Kagawa and Lucas Barrios, both guys I have come to enjoy, and have posted a whopping goal differential of 31. To put that last stat into context, the 2nd place team (Hannover 96) has a differential of 0, and the next highest is Bayern Munich at 15. Dortmund has shut out their opponent in half of their games (9), which seems to be a good way to win.

Bayer Leverkusen : UP. Mostly move up since so many teams moved down. They are currently in a log jam for third, have a positive goal differential, and haven't been playing Michael Ballack. Nothing wrong there.

Eintracht Frankfurt : UP. I have to admire their spirit. They have been playing fairly well, have probably settled into their final position somewhere in the middle of the table, and have a 30 year old Greek guy doing their goal scoring. Theofanis Gekas is second in the league with 14 goals, and is basically doing all of Frankfurt's scoring since second on the team has 2 goals.

Kaisersluatern : DOWN. Just got hammered by Bayern Munich 5-1. That 2-1 victory at the start of the season doesn't look so impressive anymore. Kaiserslautern has settled into the middle of the table with a sad 6-4-9 record. They should stay up barring a massive collapse, but they probably won't challenge for the title.

Werder Bremen : DOWN. How do I put this. This team sucks. I have Werder has a long history of being a good team, but this season is one they would probably like to forget. 5th from the bottom, 6-4-9 record, -14 goal differential, and some of the ugliest uniforms in the world. Marko Marin has failed to impress me with his two goals, at least they have someone in the Top 10 for goal scoring. I need more.

VfL Wolfsburg : ELIMINATED. I haven't eliminated them based on how they are playing (crap), or because their best player (Edin Dzeko) was just sold to Manchester City, its because of how the club is run. I heard that VfL Wolfsburg, which is owned by Volkswagon, is basically used as a way to entertain the people of Wolfsburg who are mostly VW employees. This seems to make alot of sense, and on the surface doesn't seem like an issue, but they tend to piss money away on this team. Part of the Dzeko saga was VW not wanting to upset its workers/fans by selling off their best player. On top of that, they have the ugliest jerseys. I can barely look at pictures let alone a game.

Yeah, this doesn't help.

2010-2011 College Football Wrap-Up

2011-01-19T15:43:00.000-08:00

One of the weirdest, and somehow unsatisfying, seasons of college football has finally come to a close. With the NFL regular season over, only seven playoff games left, and roughly eight months before pitchers and catchers report, this is the saddest time of the year. I know there will still be Premier and Champions League games to watch, and I can sporadically check on the NBA (You hear that LeBron James went to Miami?!), but it just can’t fill the void.

I think the void is especially pronounced this year because something was missing from college football, something I can’t quite define. Maybe its because a number of schools and players shrugged off “serious” NCAA violations, or maybe its because a number of big name programs imploded, but its probably the fact that this season was stupefyingly dull. I think the everlasting stupidity of the media got me more riled up than any game, not that this surprised me. So since I enjoy getting angry, lets go over this past season and pray to God/Allah/Jebus/Anyone that next year is better.

Conference Realignment : The Big 10 has twelve teams now, and the Big 12 has ten teams, as if having an eleven team Big 10 wasn’t confusing enough. This had to be the craziest year for expansion/contraction ever, and it was all based on revenue. Nebraska really got everything started in the summer by jumping to the Big 10 and all hell broke lose. Once the Big 12 was down to eleven and looked vulnerable everyone reached out to grab the big prize; Texas. Well, more accurately the Texas TV revenue and all the cash attached to the program. The Pac-10 even invited Texas to join in an attempt to make an insane super conference, but instead supplied safe harbor to Colorado and Utah. So now we have the Pac-12, incorrectly named Big 10 and Big 12, and then things got even worse. The Mountain West lost Utah, so they took the opportunity to pillage the WAC and bring in Boise State, Hawaii, and Fresno State. Then BYU got it into their heads that they should be like Notre Dame and declared themselves independent, but wait, it gets better! In an attempt to one-up the Pac-10’s geographically confused attempt to absorb the Big 12 South the Big East took a look at its embarrassing eight team conference and decided to invite TCU. So ten is now twelve, twelve is now ten, and Forth Worth TX is in the east. Cash grabs are great, aren’t they?

>>> All this geographical ignorance/delusion makes me angry. That’s all I can say.

Big Programs Flop : This season was great for the little guys, not just because the media was in a hurry to crown them champions. I can’t remember so many big programs falling flat on their faces in one season, especially when expectations were high. The biggest culprit was Texas who failed to win six games, much to my delight, and found themselves without a bowl game. Everyone loved Texas after their loss to Alabama last year, and people were drawing up plans for the Garret Gilbert statue in Austin. Texas went 5-7, finished dead last in the Big 12 South, and found itself getting crushed in games it should have won. Florida played like crap on offense, finished 7-5 and lost Urban Meyer to a re-retirement. Michigan shot itself in the foot by thinking they were ready to dominate, fans and boosters did their best to undermine Rich Rodriguez once their defense started to implode, and a 7-5 season wrapped up with a 52-14 absolute ass kicking by Miss State in the Gator Bowl. Other notable failures include Georgia (6-6, bowl loss to UCF), and Penn State (7-5, bowl loss to Florida).

Coaching Carousel : Coaches had it rough this season as a number of them moved around, some with hilarious results. Rich Rodriguez was fired at Michigan, ending an uncomfortable union that featured Josh Groban, followed by in intense search that eventually found Brady Hoke. No, I didn’t know who he was until I Googled him either. Texas’ problem got worse when coach-in-waiting Will Muschamp got tired of waiting and took the Florida job. Guys coaching schools named Miami (Florida and Ohio, in a rare double) found themselves without a job as Miami sent Randy Shannon packing after a loss to USF, and Miami (OH)’s Mike Haywood was fired from his new job at Pitt before he even started after being arrest on a felony domestic violence charge. Guess who won’t be able to find a job anytime soon?

Sadly the touching lyrics of Josh couldn't reach Michigan's AD

Sweeping Violations Under The Rug : I’m still really confused about this, like really really confused. Ever since the Reggie Bush saga colleges all across the country have been on pins and needles; well, everyone but Auburn and Ohio State. They must know something that everyone else doesn’t, since they managed to flaunt NCAA rules and walk away with a mere finger wagging. Auburn’s QB, and Heisman winner, Cam Newton was mired in a pay-for-play scandal where his father solicited money to sign is son. This is an NCAA violation, a serious one, even though Cam “knew nothing” about what his father was doing. Auburn made the meaningless gesture of suspending Newton, who was rapidly reinstated by the NCAA, won the SEC title, won the Heisman in a landslide, then won the National Title. Ohio State followed suit with their own problems. A number of players, including QB Terrelle Pryor, received improper benefits and sold team awards. All of this came out before their Sugar Bowl showdown with Arkansas, and they should have been suspended. Ohio State acted quickly and suspended the players for five games... starting next year. The NCAA allowed this, and the suspended players “promised” not to enter the NFL draft early in order to play in the Sugar Bowl. How the NCAA allowed any of this is beyond me, much like conference realignment this was all clearly about money. I’m sure the NCAA didn’t want to enforce its rules if it would effect the BCS Bowls - that would require some integrity.

>> Nodding. But have you considered what would’ve happened to your (and my) sports world if Newton had actually been suspended for the whole season? Auburn would’ve certainly lost any number of those close games they played towards the end of the season (‘Bama, especially), TCU would’ve snuck into the title game, your head would’ve exploded in an apoplectic fit, and Oregon would’ve most likely trounced them as I nodded gleefully, saying with a self-satisfied and knowing smirk that “See, the system totally works!” Even though, of course, it continues to be a total farce.

The NCAA can't wait to get that back...

Morons Vote TCU #1 : I think I may have breathed fire when I saw this the other day, but I really should have seen it coming. Auburn handily took most of the AP and USA Today votes, but a few idiots decided that TCU was #1 in the final season poll. The only thing keeping my head from exploding is that these few voters are probably upset with Auburn (see above) and said “Hell, I know Auburn went 14-0, beat #2 Oregon, and won the SEC, but I’m going to be controversial and vote for TCU!”

>> The irony of Oregon finishing lower than the year they got hosed out of the title game in ‘01 (#2 in the final poll - duh) doesn’t amuse me in the least, in fact it makes me want to swear off college football for the 13th consecutive season. OK, so, if the title game is a legitimate contest between the nation’s two best teams, and one of them loses by three points on a fluke running play and a botched interception call, suddenly they’re only the third best team in the nation? WTF?!!! I hate college football, and I hate that it sucks me in every. single. season.

Bowl Season Recap (Hindsight Is A Bitch)

Best - BCS Title Game. I don’t care that they both looked a little off in the first quarter, this game came down to the wire. I also don’t care that they didn’t finish 77-73 like everyone wanted, both teams played hard and Auburn deserved to win. They outplayed Oregon and their defense came up big time.

>> I will grudgingly admit that Auburn played well, but I won’t go so far as to say that they deserved to win. Sour grapes or astute analysis? You be the judge. But as far as the game goes, this was our take on it immediately after (I’m including it because I think Bert nailed it - you won’t see this kind of analysis on TV, folks):

AS: ~ Pounding my head into a wall repeatedly~

BA: It wasn't that bad, you guys just couldn't tackle.

AS: C'mon, it was a cruel game of inches. There was cliff harris' non-interception (which I still think was an interception), Tunei and TheMichael being stopped short of the goal after that trick punt play and amazing catch by Tunei... the safety where TheMichael almost got out of the end zone, but ended up putting the ball on the last inch of chalk... every little thing went against the Ducks.

BA: Yeah, because they were smaller and couldn't block. Auburn effectively controlled the tempo, and you guys just lost it.

AS: This conversation is over!

BA: Thomas made some really bad reads on the option.

AS: Yeah, no shit. Horrible reads, and some bad passes in the red zone.

BA: Its like he didn't want to run, so he always handed it off.

AS: And then when he should've handed it to TheMichael, he kept it. It was amazing.

BA: Well, on the safety, I'm very confused why you went into a single back set with Thomas under center... like you thought you could overpower Auburn.

AS: ~Punching myself in the throat repeatedly~

BA: That was by far the best BCS game though.

AS. Yeah, it was great. I felt like I was gonna throw up for three straight hours.

BA: You just boned that TD, why Kelly insisted on running inside I will never know.

AS: I can't decide if you're making me feel better or worse... hang on... yep, definitely worse.
Did you think Harris intercepted that throw?

BA: Wait, perhaps I was drinkign too much... when he caught it and rolled out of bounds?

AS: (Grasping at straws) Yeah! He had control!!! Or?

BA: Wait, I thought it was called a pick.

AS: No. He caught it, had control, and his forearm was down. Auburn scored on the next play, or one after that.

BA: Well you got hosed there.

AS: Thank you.

BA: (Sadistically rubbing salt in the wounds) Also, you guys weren't throwing down field. 3rd & 15, lets try a 5 yard WR screen. There were a number of play calls where you threw a 5 yard pass when you needed 15, and that was clearly the play call.

AS: ~Sighing~ There was a 3rd and 12, too, I think, where Thomas elected to keep it, and he had NOWHERE to go. It was bizarre. Despite all that, their defense played really well, and had it not been for the safety and the non-interception, it could've easily been 19-3 or something like that. Everything went horribly wrong.

BA: Sadly, I didn't gamble on it. I picked Auburn in a close one. Plus, you got boned because Auburn plays a similar offense. They probably practice against your style of offense all the time, so it wasn't new.

AS: (The final nail in the coffin) True that. Let’s just move on to making myself feel better by making fun of those redneck southerners, shall we? Jizzik was sporting some sweet sideburns, did you see? It was like Mattingly in the Simpson's ringers episode.

BA: Jizzik seems like a real good ole boy - probably fucked a pig after the game.

AS: Yes, see!!! This proves that Oregon was the better team. Did you see their QB coach's name?
Guz! "Gus iz too hahd fuh me tuh say, so ahm jist gonna call yew Guzzzz."

Since this was obviously the highpoint of our post-game analysis, we decided to stop there.

Worst - Orange Bowl : This was incredibly disappointing, but I should have seen it coming. The worst part of this game was listening to the announcers talk up VT’s QB Tyrod Taylor, who just flat out sucks. They went on and on about how versitle he is, and how dangerous his legs are, but that doesn’t seem to matter if you can’t convert a third down. VT got their ass kicked, and stanfurd’s QB Andrew Luck came out looking like the next Peyton Manning; so much for that vaunted Hokie defense.

Clock Management Award - Bret Bielema / Rose Bowl : This could have beat the title game, but Bielema boned this game and gave idiots an opening to complain for another year. TCU played well, and deserved to win, but Wisconsin pissed away a chance to get into the endzone before the half. With two timeouts the Badgers took their sweet time on the final drive of the half, but were caught off guard by the fact that you can’t score after the clock hits 0:00. Wisconsin had no choice but to kick a FG when they should have been trying for 6 - way to go Bret.

Winners

The SEC West : Four ten-win teams, five ranked teams, and the National Title.
Non-AQ Media Darlings
Committing Infractions
Jim Harbaugh : Turned stanfurd’s 12-1 season into the 49ers head coaching job.

Losers

The SEC East : No ten win teams, 1-for-5 in bowl games, only two teams finished above .500.
Boise State : Lose their chance to complain about being snubbed by losing to Nevada, leave the WAC for the MWC which promptly implodes to leave them where they started.

Boise State leaves the WAC for the MWC.

The ACC
The Big East
NCAA’s Authority
Programs Stuck In The Past : Michigan, Miami, and ND have a long way to go. They act like they are elite programs, but they haven’t been for a while. It won’t happen overnight.
Jake Locker : Draft stock may be confused with Enron’s.
Andrew and his stupid Ducks.

Arsenal Leeds Highlights FA Cup Third Round

2011-01-08T09:40:00.000-08:00

Arsenal 0-1 Leeds

Arsenal 1-1 Leeds

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year...

2010-12-10T15:07:00.000-08:00

Its that time of year again, Bowl Season! I finally get to melt into my couch and reap the benefits of Sanity’s win over the surging Media. Every season the media, and coaches who get “cheated”, come out and bash the BCS and do what they can to make it seem like the worst idea ever. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like it and I think we need a +1 format, but we were so close to the media taking it out on fans by “breaking” the BCS. Had Boise State played TCU for the National Title, gah, I don’t even want to think about it.

I’m cheating a little before I get to the bowls since I have to say something about the Heisman race. The award gets handed out on Saturday and I’d hate to write about it after the fact. Even though the award has one obvious winner, this could be one of the most interesting/controversial votes in a while. Lets look at the guys making the trip to NY, listed in order of probable voting.

Cam Newton (QB, Auburn) - Just based on what he has done on the field this year he is the hands down winner. Newton won the Maxwell Award (Best Player), Davey O’Brien Award (Best QB), and the Walter Camp Award (Player Of The Year)… so why is there a debate? Reggie Bush. Well, more accurately, Cecil Newton. Apparently Cecil Newton was stupid enough to try and get around $200,000 from Mississippi State to sign his son out of a JUCO, this supposedly happened without Cam’s knowledge. This is, of course, an NCAA rules violation and should result in the suspension of Cam Newton… but it hasn’t. Auburn ruled him ineligible just for shits and giggles, then asked the NCAA to reinstate him, and they did. Now back to Reggie Bush, he had something similar to this happen to him. An agent gave his parents benefits while at USC, he was later ruled ineligible, and was more or less forced to forfeit his Heisman. How Cam Newton keeps on playing is beyond me, not to mention nobody has said anything about whether Auburn came up with the cash. Auburn and Newton have been silent on this issue, which brings us back to the Heisman and a concern among voters. Bush’s Heisman forfeit was a first and shame, so with all of this swirling around less than a year later, are voters going to vote for a guy who could have to forfeit the trophy down the road? The Bush scenario is so fresh in everyone’s mind that its completely possible that Newton could lose this award out of fear, but the good news is that Cecil Newton is punishing himself by staying outside of the roof where the award ceremony is held.

LaMichael James (HB, Oregon) - Leads the nation in rushing yards (1682) and TD (21), key offensive weapon in the Oregon’s flashy offense, good national exposure, so why could he fall below Luck? James dealt with a pre-season battery charge with his (hopefully) ex-girlfriend, and its been hanging over his head all season. I was delighted to see yet another Oregon player struggling with the law, Andrew can back me up on that, but about a month ago I heard more about the whole situation. Apparently James got into an altercation with his then girlfriend, who reportedly attacked him, and he pushed her down. She pressed charges and he plead guilty to battery to get it all over with, but its been a bad press zombie and seems to be tainting his image. I’m not saying what he did was ok, but the media has been dragging out the battery charge like he punched her lights out for no reason. The bad press could sway Heisman voters away from his on field accomplishments, but then again battery might look pretty good compared to the mess Cam Newton is in.

The contenders, sadly Kevin Riley didn't make the cut.

Andrew Luck (QB, Stanfurd) - This is really close, he could be #2 by quite a bit and would be the biggest benefactor of a Heisman voter revolt. I think he steals a lot of Newton votes and has come on strong toward the end of the season. He enjoyed two consecutive complete demolitions (Cal & Oregon State) to end the season, and has been everyone’s pick for #1 overall in the NFL draft all year. Its no secret he is good, so if the voters turn sour on Newton look for Luck to finish very close to the top.

Kellen Moore (QB, Boise State) - First of all, Moore is a really good QB. The guy has been excellent since starting as a true freshman, but he plays in Idaho so few people get to see him. Sadly his entire Heisman campaign rested on the fortunes of Boise State which didn’t turn out so well. Voters will remember poor Kyle Brotzman boning two game winning FG instead of Moore’s insane 54 yard bomb to Titus Young that put the Broncos in position to win.

Bowl Schedule Highlights

Sad Trombone Bowl (MAACO Bowl Las Vegas) - Utah vs. Boise State. How the once thought to be mighty have fallen. Two teams once in the Top 5 who had decent shots at the National Title game, with some help, find themselves duking it out in a lower tier bowl. This should be a pretty good game, but I doubt either team is saying "Oh wow, we get to play in the MAACO Bowl!" after sniffing at a BCS game.

The BCS Took Our Teams Bowl (Outback Bowl) - Florida vs. Penn State. How do you get two 7-5 teams having bad seasons in a nationally televised New Years Day game? You send a bunch of your teams to BCS bowl games of course. The SEC is sending Auburn (SEC Champ) and Arkansas, and the top heavy Big 10 is sending Wisconsin (Big 10 Champ) and Ohio State. Everyone slides up, and now you get teams with vanilla records that got their teeth kicked in within their conference (Both 4-4) playing each other. I can't wait.

Random Local Sponsor Bowl Game (Beef 'O'Brady's St. Petersburg Bowl) - Southern Miss vs. Louisville. Nothing says bowl season like C-USA vs. Big East in a baseball stadium, unless you throw in a local sponsor and make the game irrelevant.

Best On Paper (Discover Orange Bowl) - Stanfurd vs. Virginia Tech. I hate to say it, I really do, but this could be the best game. I wanted to go with the title game because it could be 77-70 at halftime, but I have a feeling this could be close. VT just seems to keep winning, and Stanfurd is the favorite, but you just don't know. I also wouldn't be surprised if Stanfurd trampled all over VT, I'll have to wait and see.

Worst On paper (New Mexico Bowl) - BYU vs. UTEP. Nothing excites me more than two teams that are just barely bowl eligible going at it. I can hardly contain the joy. I almost went with the Holiday Bowl which features a Nebraska-Washington rematch, but I'm willing to bet Bo Pelini loses his cool and the Huskers win with something similar to their 56-21 victory earlier this year.

Lord Ferg, Forgive Me

2010-11-16T19:21:00.000-08:00

I'm sure Sir Alex Ferguson is sending his spies after me right now, and I'd like to beg for mercy. I've gone and helped the enemy, and to make it worse I didn't make any money.

A higher-up at the LA Gooners, an Arsenal supporters group, asked me to help him out with a few shirts and I forsook my allegiances in the name of comedy. You can buy the shirt through the LA Gooners, sadly none of the proceeds will find their way into my pockets.

The shirt in action.

For those of you that don't get it, Emmanuel Eboué is an unabashed Jesus freak who likes making shirts as well.

Bonus points for using the current EPL font.

Bundesliga : Really Late Stock Report

2010-11-02T18:07:00.000-07:00

Oh boy, am I behind on this. Perhaps being at Danny Coyle's every Saturday or Sunday morning at 430AM for just about the entire EPL season isn't a good idea, at least I get to watch good football. I'm also distracted by college football, the NFL, a (crappy) World Series, and something about LeBron James. Well, I'm all out of excuses, let get down to it.

Borussia Dortmund : UP. Top of the Bundesliga and they bookend a tepid run with solid wins over Bayern Munich (2-0) and Mainz (2-0). They managed a 1-1 draw to PSG in the Europa League and TSG Hoffenheim in the Bundesliga, then followed it up with a loss (in penalties) to OFC Kickers in the DFB-Pokal (German Cup). Despite a sorry run there they sit atop the Bundesliga, play the most attractive football I've seen from any league team, and are turning into serious favorites to win my devotion.

Yes, we can read.

Side Note : Read an interesting article on the role of Japanese players in Germany and how they have managed to get a foot in the door. The Bundesliga currently has four Japanese players, and Kagawa is quickly becoming the most popular... at least in Dortmund.

Werder Bremen : DOWN. These guys are almost in free fall, and are back to playing like crap. They have managed to lose three straight games in three different competitions. They lost to Bayern Munich 2-1 in the DFB-Pokal, Nurnberg 3-2 in the league, and 2-0 to Twente in the Champions League. They are currently 11th, have a negative goal differential (-2), and I'm not seeing much from potential Man Crush Marko Marin. To make things worse, they have to beat Spurs and Inter to stay in the Champions League AND pray that Twente does the same... not good.

Another Side Note : I will never get this, but why is Nürnberg "Nuremberg" in English? Why is München "Munich" to us?! It's not like we can't pronounce it, or it can't be spelled with our alphabet. This bothers me.

Bayer Leverkusen : DOWN. Another club enjoying a tepid run punctuated by draws and losses. At least they lost to a Bundesliga team (Borussia Monchengladbach) in the DFB-Pokal, and beat Schalke in their last league game. The good news is that Ballack hasn't touched the pitch since September 11th, and they are currently 4th, so its not all bad.

Cue sad trombone.

Eintracht Frankfurt : UP. These guys are on fire lately, going 4-1-0 in their past five games which includes a DFB-Pokal win over a Bundesliga team (Hamburg SV). I still can't name anyone on the squad without looking them up, but they seem to be getting it done. I can't help but think they are riding a bizarre hot streak, maybe its because their 30 year old Greek striker leads the Bundesliga with 9 goals. It doesn't really matter, they are playing well, scoring goals (13 in 5 games), playing defense (4 allowed), and most importantly winning.

Kaisersluatern : DOWN. Oh how the mighty have fallen. Well, they weren't really mighty to start out, but they sure played like it. 1FCK is down to 14th, just three points clear of the relegation zone, and this is after winning their last two games in convincing fashion. They drubbed Arminia Bielefeld (Worst team in the Zweiteliga) and Borussia Monchengladbach (Worst in the Bundesliga) 3-0. A win is a win, but they don't have alot to brag about. If they can take down Leverkusen this coming weekend and make Ballack stare in stone-faced silence I'll move them up the list.

VfL Wolfsburg : NO CHANGE. Wolfsburg isn't moving mainly because they don't have much farther to fall. They seem to be having alot of off field issues, but at least they have won their last three games to crawl into 12th place. The whole Edin Dzeko saga is a real headache, and may continue to be one until the transfer window opens in January. Dzeko has an insane €40 million buy-out clause in his contract, which eliminates all but the richest and stupidest clubs *cough* Manchester City *cough*. Despite this, the guy seems desperate to leave the sinking ship that is Wolfsburg. I just went through the Rooney saga, I don't need to get into another transfer/contract/wages conspiracy.

Fantasy Baseball, The End

2010-10-05T08:51:00.001-07:00

Oh Baseball Gods, how fickle you are. The misery is finally over for me and the insufferable arrogance can resume at Andrew's, this is going to be a long offseason.

I probably spoke too soon when I said I was in standings purgatory, well, actually I did speak too soon. The Baseball Gods were kind enough to "shut down" a number of my players, which means they don't go on the DL and I can't replace them. Tulo, Yadier Molina, and Justin Upton found themselves lounging on the bench for the last week and I started my slide toward 4th. The Gods are cruel, very cruel.

Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the finals.

Andrew stayed in first and never had much trouble fending off the rest of us. The team in second suffered Shut Down hell and slid slowly away from 1st over the last week or so. The team that passed me didn't have a chance at 1st, so Andrew could sit back and enjoy his Cardinals failure to reach the playoffs.

Oh well, maybe next year.

Current Status
Bert - The Dude abides.
Andrew - Far out, far fucking out.

Sanity 1 - Media 0... For Now

2010-10-05T08:50:00.001-07:00

Sanity finally struck back this week, if only for a little while. My fears of a bogus 2010-11 season are still there, but now there may be a savior in position to save us all. I'm talking about Oregon jumping TCU and Boise State in the rankings. We now have a viable team to sneak into #1/2 if Alabama or Ohio State lose a game. I still feel like Boise State shouldn't be ranked above a 1 loss BCS conference team when the season wraps up, that's how bad I think the WAC is.

I still have nightmares that the media is going to make a mess of this. Some idiot is still giving Boise State a first place vote, and I'm willing to bet if Alabama falls to one of the many tough teams on its schedule that idiot will have alot of friends. I feel a little bad that I'm so down on Boise State's title aspirations, but since its the media making a mockery of the BCS and not the team/school my hate is running at about 95% capacity.

The Bronco homers out there have been playing up their 51-6 win over Wyoming and 59-0 stomping of New Mexico State, real non-BCS powerhouses there. They have, not surprisingly, overlooked their much slimmer wins over paper tiger Virginia Tech (33-30) and Oregon State (37-24). Virginia Tech, who was #10 to start the season, went on to lose to an FCS school. Hopefully this destroys the "We beat VT!" argument, since it doesn't seem to be all that difficult. My only hope is that Nevada wins or hangs a bunch of points on Boise State, at this rate the Broncos could blow out their entire conference.

59-0 over the worst team in the 8th best conference? Yawn.

I'm very happy about Oregon's rise for a few reasons. The first one is that they beat Stanfurd to do it, and oh do I hate Stanfurd. I would give almost anything to see Harbaugh's head explode after they were up 31-24 at halftime and let Oregon destroy them with 28 unanswered points in the second half. A win over #9 Stanfurd is much more impressive than beating the Wyomings and New Mexico States of the world. They should also get a little media-idiocy bonus because Stanfurd's QB, Andrew Luck, is the popular pick for the #1 overall pick in the NFL draft (Buffalo, here he comes!).

My second reason is I think Oregon genuinely has a chance of going 12-0, and a 12-0 Oregon is a lock over Boise State. I'm a Cal fan, and I will sadly be cheering for Oregon to whup on us so they can keep the Broncos out of the title game. I don't think Oregon is a fluke, and should beat everyone in the Pac-10. I am worried about the depth of the Pac-10, it wouldn't shock me or anyone if they lost to USC or Oregon State. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if Cal beat them at home, weirder things have happened. Lets just hope LaMichael James can keep his hands on the ball and off his girlfriend's throat (too soon?), he is just tearing it up on the ground and could be in the Heisman hunt if he keeps it up.

Sporno? Probably.

Well, its still early so the media will have plenty of chances to screw things up. I'm sure if VT finishes the year 11-2 someone will revive the "We beat VT!" argument and spread some insanity. Lets just hope that Alabama and Ohio State don't slip up *cough* LSU and Michigan *cough* and leave an opening for Boise State to jump into the title game.

Bundesliga : Stock Report Week 7

2010-10-05T08:49:00.000-07:00

I finally get a week off after this for an International Break, I'm actually lucky I can't watch all of these games. I think it would be way too much work to follow everything, I may have bitten off more than I can chew just following a few Bundesliga teams. Damn NFL, NCAA, MLB, and EPL.

Borussia Dortmund : UP. Win 2-0 against Bayern Munich. Dortmund won, quite convincingly, but after watching this game I can see why Bayern is playing so poorly. They are without Ribery and Robben (their two best offensive weapons), and it showed against Dortmund. Dortmund didn't play all that well in the first half, and should have been down at least 1-0, but they came out and put Bayern away in the second half. Sad to see one of my World Cup mancrushes, Holger Badstuber of Bayern, play like crap.

Lucas Barrios scored his 4th, and spurned Argentina. I like this guy.

Werder Bremen : NO CHANGE. Drew 2-2 with Leverkusen. I wish I could have watched this game since Marin scored and Per Mertesacker made his return.

Bayer Leverkusen : NO CHANGE. Drew 2-2 with Werder Bremen, couldn't watch and they managed not to get blown out like they did against Inter in the Champions League.

Kaisersluatern : NO CHANGE. Lose 2-1 to Hamburg. Didn't get to watch this game either, but they are not looking good. 1FCK is falling down the table fast and find themselves 2 clear of the relegation zone.

Eintracht Frankfurt : UP. Beat Stuttgart 2-1 and fly clear of the relegation zone, I'm not cure what to make of these guys yet. They win 3 in a row then drop 2, have only scored more than 2 goals once (4-0 over Borrussia Monchengladbach), and haven't been able to draw once.

VfL Wolfsburg : NO CHANGE. Draw 1-1 against Monchengladbach. McClaren has been able to turn them around (3-0-1) after a horrible start (0-3-0) and find themselves in the middle of the table. They could still sneak into the Top 3, but they are going to have to finish the season strong.

Bundesliga : Stock Report, Week 6

2010-09-29T12:41:00.001-07:00

Another late report, you can blame it on the apocalyptic state of the Bundesliga. If you aren't sitting down you probably should...ok... Bayern Munich is not top of the table. Something crazy is happening this season, and lowly Mainz is 6-0-0 and top of the world. I'm going to put it all on sample size, the season is still young and Mainz has been playing well beyond their means. If you watch them nothing jumps out at you, they are a very organized vanilla no-name team that has been playing well. I'll put my money on Dortmund to finish above Mainz, and I'll be shocked if they finish in a Champions League spot (Top 3).

Borussia Dortmund : UP. Dortmund are on fire, winning 3-1 over St. Pauli and sitting #2 in the Bundesliga. Shinji Kagawa scores his fourth goal of the season, and they only have to play Bayern Munich next week.

Werder Bremen : NO CHANGE. Beat rival Hamburg 3-2, they had a 2-0 lead at the half and allowed two goals in 4' to start the second half. I finally got to see Marko Marin score, the guy reminds me of a not-as-funny Andrei Arshavin who actually looks his age. I'm so late on this report that Bremen have just finished their Champions League game against Inter, a bad 4-0 loss.

Side Note : Finally figured out what happened to Per Mertesacker, he took an elbow to an eye in an international friendly. Apparently it broke his eye socket and their were concerns of permanent damage to his vision, looks like he will be ok.

Bayer Leverkusen : NO CHANGE.

Kaisersluatern : NO CHANGE. Lose 0-1 to Hannover 96 in a dull game. Kaiserslautern had a few chances to score but let Hannover take this one. They are really falling down the table now and have probably settled into the bottom half for good.

VfL Wolfsburg : NO CHANGE. Didn't get to watch their 2-1 win over Freiburg. Grafite nets twice.

Eintracht Frankfurt : NO CHANGE. Win 2-0 over Nurnberg, vault out of the relegation zone... barely.