The Squeee

Wolf (1994)

2012-05-31T10:00:00.000+01:00

Film review: Wolf (1994), directed by Mike Nichols

Will Randall (Jack Nicholson), a harmless man working in book publishing, has an encounter with a pack of wolves one night. He gets bitten, but doesn't think much of it, as the doctor gives him the all clear. But things start happening that he has a tough time trying to explain. His sense of smell grows stronger, his hearing too ...

There's a party held by the company who's taken over the publishing house, and the boss (Christopher Plummer) doesn't give Randall the promotion he was after. Instead, it goes to Stewart Swinton (James Spader), and Randall is very disappointed. Meeting Laura Alden, the boss's daughter, cheers him up, but underneath the surface, his blood is boiling, and the wolf inside him is trying to get out.

Is Randall slowly turning into a werewolf, and if he is, is he responsible for killing his own wife?

Also starring David Hyde Pierce as Randall's assistant, Prunella Scales as a dotty author, Richard Jenkins as Detective Bridger, Om Puri as the professor who has done some research into lycanthropy, and Ron Rifkin as Randall's doctor.

Randall and Jack Nicholson are perfectly paired. When I think of Nicholson, "wolf" is one of the words that come to mind, so him playing a werewolf just seems ... right, somehow. Pfeiffer isn't exactly tame either, if her character in The Witches of Eastwick fooled you. They make a pretty good team.

The transformation of Randall from Mr. Beta to the Alpha we're more familiar with is funny, especially since it's so gradual and takes even him by surprise at first. And because he starts out as a nice guy who gets a bit down on his luck, we can still like him when he steps up and decides revenge is a good idea. Revenge is normally a bad idea, but you know what? Randall kinda earned it.

The special effects aren't that great, but seeing as how the film was made in the mid-1990s, that's to be expected. Wolf is a fun way to spend a rainy day, but don't expect to be amazed by awesomeness, because awesome, it ain't. It's good enough, though, but that's about it. Oh, and you can never guess who else is a werewolf. Not as if it's obvious or anything.

3 out of 5 horses.

The Witches of Eastwick (1987)

2012-05-30T10:00:00.000+01:00

Film review: The Witches of Eastwick (1987), directed by George Miller

What do you do when you're three single women in a small town where nothing exciting ever happens? You wish something interesting would happen. Maybe this interesting thing could be a handsome man, who knows exactly how you tick ... If you and your two friends turn out to have magic powers when you come together, you really ought to be careful what you wish for ...

Alexandra (Cher), Jane (Susan Sarandon) and Sukie (Michelle Pfeiffer) are three rather different women. Alexandra is a sculptor and a free spirit, uptight Jane is a strict school teacher, and Sukie was deserted by her husband, left with a brood of kids. As it happens, they get drunk one night and cast a spell, to attract the Perfect Man to the village of Eastwick.

Then they go to sleep and think nothing more of it. Until Daryl Van Horne (Jack Nicholson) arrives, and turns out to be exactly what the three women were hoping for. He rents the big mansion on the outskirts of town, and it's not long until he has the women enthralled. The pious Felicia Alden (Veronica Cartwright) insists he's a bad influence, and her husband (Richard Jenkins) has to try and keep her increasingly crazed outbursts under wraps. Surely there's nothing actually sinister about Van Horne?

Or is there?

How do you turn three perfectly normal women into wonton hussies? Well, if you're the Devil incarnate, or something of that ilk, it's not too difficult. The role of Daryl Van Horne fits Jack Nicholson to a tee. Can you think of anyone better to play this part? I sure can't. They were made for each other! If your idea of Jack Nicholson is that he's a charismatic slimeball, this film will reinforce that notion. Oh yeah, very much so. But at the same time, being able to play that kind of character, isn't that part of his appeal?

The three friends are fine actresses and they seem to enjoy themselves, even if Nicholson steals the show with his devillish antics. Well, he and Veronica Cartwright, who gets more and more wound up and no one is willing to listen to her, even though she technically is the only one who sees Van Horne for what he really is.

I do enjoy this film. It's fairly harmless, but mad fun at the same time. Not in a hilarious, guffawing way, but in a smiling and enjoying it sort of way. The drastic personality changes of Cher, Sarandon and Pfeiffer is amusing. Sarandon's character is so uptight and Pfeiffer's is so meek that their transformations are striking, to say the least. As is their revenge.

Oh well, The Witches of Eastwick is wicked fun. One to bring out around Halloween, because a Dark and Stormy Night will surely put you in the right mood.

4 out of 5 cellos.

The Shining (1980)

2012-05-29T10:00:00.000+01:00

Film review: The Shining (1980), directed by Stanley Kubrick

The Overlook Hotel is a big and distinguished old establishment that closes for the winter. It simply costs too much to keep it open, because it's in such a remote spot that keeping the roads clear of snow is futile. So the owners close it down every winter and has someone stay there and look after it, make sure to keep the pipes running and so on.

This particular winter, Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) and his wife Wendy (Shelley Duvall) and son Danny (Danny Lloyd) take up residence. Jack is a former alcoholic trying to write a novel, so the peace and quiet of a winter at Overlook is just what he's looking for. He's not even put off by hearing that one of his predecessors got cabin fever one winter and slaughtered his family.

While the Torrances are shown around, Danny gets talking with a nice old man called Dick Hallorann (Scatman Crothers). Or rather, Hallorann is the one doing most of the talking. It seems that the two have a thing in common, something Hallorann's mother used to call 'the Shining', being able to talk telepathically to other humans, and also be extra sensitive to the energy of different places. The Overlook Hotel doesn't exactly give off good vibrations ...

As winter draws in, so do Danny's frightening visions ... and his father's insanity.

Based on the book by Stephen King, Stanley Kubrick's adaptation of The Shining comes in at #48 on the IMDb Top 250 list. And I'm not entirely sure why.

I've not read a lot of Stephen King, I have to admit, because when I was in a phase of reading the horror section of my local library, I opted for Dean R Koontz instead ... because his books weren't two-inch bricks in two parts. "I want to read It, because I've seen some of that on telly! *sees all 4" of book in shelf* ...On second thought, sod that!" So no, I've not read this one. I have heard, however, that Stephen King didn't like this adaptation, because it wasn't really true to the book. When I saw another adaptation, a 1990s miniseries, which apparently is closer to the book, I enjoyed it very much. It was spooky. This ... isn't.

The problem I have with Stephen King adaptations (like I said, I can't really say a lot about the books) is that they tend to be about blood gushing from places where blood doesn't normally gush. Lifts (The Shining), sinks (It), falling buckets (Carrie), and so on. That's not scary, that's just ... disturbing, possibly. Oh wow, lots of red liquid, I'm terrified, not. The twins Danny keeps seeing, that works better, but it's still just a big house where Jack Torrance slowly goes out of his tiny mind and becomes a homicidal maniac. (Oops, does that give it away? Sorry.)

It doesn't give me goosebumps or makes me realise I need to breathe. It's a fascinating story about a man's descent into madness, but that's about it. The child cycles around on a tricycle and talks to his imaginary friend, and Hysterical Woman is hysterical. I understand that your husband turning into a homicidal, axe-wielding maniac is traumatic and frightens the life out of you, but for goodness sake, would you stop screaming for five seconds and do something before he chops the life out of you instead?! You have a child to protect!

Thank goodness for Hallorann, who is both sympathetic and wise. What a bloke. Good man. Definitely my favourite character.

Could the characters have been played by other actors? Sure. Not difficult to play a screaming victim. Jack Nicholson made a very good Jack Torrance, though. Probably the most memorable thing about the whole film, to be honest. Intense malice, thinly veiled insanity, anger management issues ... Very well played. The setting is rather epic too, but the film as a whole feels like it takes too long to get anywhere, and for a film about a haunted house that haunts people, there's not enough eerie buildup. It's just resorting to cheap shock tactics and while it's a pretty good film, there are so many things I don't like about it.

3.5 out of 5 hedge labyrinths.

One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)

2012-05-28T10:00:00.000+01:00

Film review: One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975), directed by Milos Forman

Classic film, one of the greats - #10 on IMDb's Top 250, and ... for good reason too, actually.

In 1963, a prison inmate, R.P. McMurphy (Jack Nicholson), is moved to a mental hospital to be evaluated, as he's repeatedly acted up and doesn't do very well with authority. He doesn't seem to be mentally ill, by any means, but as he's also not keen on working, hopes that being in a hospital will be a doddle.

And sure, he doesn't need to do any hard labour, but the ward nurse, Mildred Ratched (Louise Fletcher), is not one to be trifled with. Especially not by a troublemaker like McMurphy. Her strict regime is threatened, especially as McMurphy quickly establishes himself as the leader of the other patients on the ward. Who will come out the victor in this battle of wills?

Also starring Danny DeVito as Martini (I didn't even realise it was him until I saw the cast list!), Christopher Lloyd as Taber, Brad Dourif as Billy Bibbit, Sydney Lassick as Cheswick, William Redfield as Harding, and the majestic Will Sampson as "Chief" Bromden.

While watching One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, I was thinking it would make a great stage play. Then I looked it up on Wikipedia, and a play seems to be what it was before it was a film. It was a book too, which I have a vague recollection of reading some time in my teens. There are a few different settings, but primarily, it's set on the ward in the mental hospital, and there is a defined core of characters too. It could be a play very easily.

McMurphy got into jail for statutory rape: he had sex with a 15-year-old, thinking she was older - so it could be argued that he's not a bad guy. If she was willing and over the legal age of consent in many other countries, that doesn't sound so bad. If he had forced her, it would have been a different matter. I don't know, maybe that bit is there to make us sympathise with him. He's not really a hardened criminal.

What gets remembered from this film is That Awful Nurse. That's what I remember too, that Ratched is evil. Seeing the film again, so many years later, I see it in a different light. She's trying to keep it together, make sure the patients don't run amok, and McMurphy comes in and rocks the boat. The party scene is a good example of things getting out of hand, and the male nurse (Scatman Crothers) or orderly (or whatever he was) who allows it to happen really should get into trouble, because in allowing a party in the middle of the night, he's putting the patients at risk. It's a mental hospital, not a hotel, for cryin' out loud!

Same with McMurphy taking everyone for a boat trip. It might seem like fun and games, but when someone falls overboard and drowns, which would probably happen in the real world ... it would be a different matter. It's reckless and dangerous.

So, no, I didn't see Nurse Ratched as Evil Incarnate. I think she was trying to do her job to the best of her ability. Up to a point, at least. There were points where she really did just seem petty and vindictive. Like with the baseball voting. That's a time where you can be a little lenient, and she wasn't, because she chose to be a bitch and mark her territory, so to speak.

But what a film, eh? An adorable bunch of lunatics played by some fine actors, a strict nurse and a grinning scoundrel to upset the status quo. Fantastic. The quiet, presumed deaf and mute, Chief is perhaps the greatest. We don't really know why he's there, and he seems perfectly sane. The ending is triumphant. Love that huge mountain of a guy!

And Jack Nicholson! He shows a fine range as McMurphy. Rebellious and intense, but at the same time caring deeply about right and wrong. Not bad looking either, truth be told. As I've come to realise, when seeing a bunch of his films in a short period of time, there's often no other actor I can think of who could have played the part better. This is probably the exception. Other actors could easily have played McMurphy and done it just as well, but at the same time, Nicholson seems a perfect match.

This is a very, very good film indeed. If you come across the book, give that a read. It's probably even better. (Not that I can remember, I probably read it 15 years ago.) And yeah, the description on Wikipedia said something about how Nurse Ratched is controlling and evil, basically, and that the patients were more focused on being scared of her than they were on getting better, but I didn't really get that feeling. They were all there voluntarily and could leave at any time, but they chose to stay. Not because they didn't dare leaving, but because the world inside those walls were safer and easier than the big, scary outside world. At least that's how I saw it.

5 out of 5 baseball games.

5th and final week of 5 Weeks - 5 Themes

2012-05-27T10:00:00.000+01:00

And I shall breathe a sigh of relief when it's back to posting just whatever again. For the final week of 5 Weeks - 5 Themes, the subject is ... Just Jack. Jack as in Jack Nicholson, because apparently, I seem to, in the past few months, have managed to see four films starring him - and I have a fifth one on DVD - that I haven't yet reviewed.

Curiously, watching these films, I really couldn't think of any other actor better suited for playing these parts. So, spanning around 30 years, it's all about Jack Nicholson. Enjoy!

(The image doesn't have text on it yet, because my darling laptop (Arthur) is away being repaired, and darling old desktop (Marvin) would probably keel over in agony if I introduced him to the CS5 installation disc. And Marvin isn't too good with opening PSDs without it. So I guess putting text on the image will have to wait until I get Arthur back. Or I could install Gimp, I suppose. *tries using the bleedin' thing* ...Sod that, I'd rather wait.)

Sweden wins the Eurovision Song Contest

2012-05-26T23:29:00.000+01:00

Let the celebrations commence ... even though the song is a bit meh and the legend that is Engelbert Humperdinck came second from last, only just beaten by the rest of Scandinavialand ... save for Norway, who came last with their Eric Saade (last year's Swedish entry) wannabe.

I should make a Swedish Ways post about Eurovision, really. Eurovision is kind of a big thing back home. Still, congrats, Loreen! And being Swedish, I can't help but feel slightly triumphant, despite not caring much for the song, Euphoria.

More Thursday Next in July!

2012-05-26T10:00:00.000+01:00

While looking for something completely different on Jasper Fforde's website, I came across the news that book seven of Thursday Next's adventures in the BookWorld is due out in July, somewhere between the 9th and the 20th. Wow, a new one already! The previous one was released only about a year ago!

Americans will have to wait until 2 October, which is accompanied by a book tour. There's one due in July here in the UK, but there's no info yet.

So, what about the new book? It's called The Woman Who Died a Lot, and is described thusly (cheekily nicked off Mr. Fforde's ffantasmagorical website in the interests of publicity):

* * *

The Bookworld's leading enforcement officer Thursday Next is at a low point in her life: she is four months into an enforced semi-retirement following a near fatal assassination attempt. She is yet to walk without a stick, has double vision more often than she doesn't, and limited mobility in her left arm. She returns home to Swindon and her family: To her ever-supportive husband Landen, her children, assorted strange relations and former work colleagues.

A time, then, for relaxation, recuperation, and rest. A time to avoid stress, take it easy, sit down, meet old friends and do very little.

If only life were that simple.

Thursday's son Friday is feeling functionless now the Time Engines have been shut down, and the glittering career he was to have in the Time Travelling elite of the Chronoguard is relegated to a hazy might-have been. Complications arise with a message from the Federated Union of Timeworkers, and a glimpse of how his life might turn out now - and he doesn't like what he sees.

Thursday's daughter Tuesday is a precocious genius of only fifteen with an immeasurably high IQ. She is having trouble perfecting the anti-smote shield needed to protect Swindon from the wrath of an angry Deity, eager to cleanse the city of all sin in a week's time. Eager to triumph if she fails, Smote Solutions, Inc, have another plan to draw the smoting from the city, and it's not ethically sound.

Thursday's non-existent daughter Jenny remains in Thursday's head as a mindworm, and only the person who put her there, the memory-bending Mnemonomorph Aornis Hades, can get rid of her. The only problem is, Aornis remains at large, and given her powers to alter people's memories, may remain so indefinitely. But the ever-resourceful Landen is not yet out of ideas.

Trouble too at Goliath, where the manufacture of synthetic humans seem to have advanced considerably, and Thursday and Landen need to be on the constant lookout for synthetic Thursdays replacing the real one, a technique that seems to be growing in complexity, and frequency. But it's not just for fun. Goliath, as usual, have a nefarious plan brewing.

If you thought dealing with the Bookworld could be hard, wait until you see what it takes to be a mother.

* * *

Oooooh, I can't wait! :D

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005)

2012-05-25T10:00:00.000+01:00

Film review: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005), directed by Garth Jennings

This film was on TV recently, and I caught a bit of it, which made me dig out the DVD. It made me realise that I probably haven't seen the whole film since we saw it at the cinema (armed with towels, a bag of peanuts that curiously cost 42p, and a very old palm type computer with a note taped to the back saying "DON'T PANIC").

And I can see why.

Arthur Dent (Martin Freeman) lives somewhere rural in England. One morning, the council wants to demolish his house to make way for a bypass, because "you've got to build bypasses". Fortunately (?), his friend Ford Prefect (Mos Def) shows up in the nick of time to tell him the world's about to end, so never mind about a stupid house.

And, true, a fleet of Vogon constructor ships appear - and Ford brings Arthur on board, hitching a ride. To think Ford is a researcher for the remarkable electronic book The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (voiced by Stephen Fry), and isn't from Guildford after all.

Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz (voiced by Richard Griffiths, a.k.a. Vernon Dursley in the Harry Potter films) shows no mercy when it comes to the Earth - it has to be demolished to give way to a new hyperspace bypass, oh the irony - or to hitchhikers. There's poetry involved in the latter.

Improbable though it is, the two hitchhikers are picked up in the nick of time by a passing spaceship, inhabited by galactic president Zaphod Beeblebrox (Sam Rockwell), Trillian (Zooey Deschanel, and I'll be cross if I find this re-posted again on a Zooey Deschanel fanblog without so much as a reference back to the blog where it originated, i.e. The Squeee) - a girl Arthur once met a party and completely failed to score with, and a depressed robot called Marvin (Warwick Davis in a body suit, voiced by Alan Rickman).

Zaphod wants to go to the legendary planet of Magrathea, but first, they need to have a run-in with the guy he beat in the presidential election (John Malkovich), and have his vice president (Anna Chancellor) following him with a bureaucratic army of Vogons because the president has been kidnapped. By himself.

Also featuring Bill Mighy as Slartibartfast, the voice of Helen Mirren as Deep Thought, the voice of Bill Bailey as a very surprised whale, and people from British comedy show The League of Gentlemen as various Vogon voices - and Mr. Prosser. Particularly liked how they got Simon Jones, Arthur in the old TV version, to cameo as the Magrathean warning system, as well as Marvin (the body suit), who is queuing up on Vogsphere.

There are some nice nods to descriptions in the books, like how a Vogon's nostrils are above their eyebrows, the jewel-encrusted crabs on Vogsphere and the beautiful deer that the Vogons like to sit on. Aside from that, holy crap what a mess this film is! I must have blanked that part out completely.

When the film first came out, I had read a thorough review posted by the owner of a fansite, which contained so many spoilers that when I saw the film, I took all the unexpected changes in my stride and just enjoyed the ride. There was nothing to get upset about, because I was already aware of everything that I could possibly deem "wrong". And, it has to be said, every incarnation of the Hitchhiker's Guide is different from its predecessor, like it's a great big work in progress. If you see it as that, you'll be fine (mostly), but if you go into it expecting it to be anything like the book, or the original radio series, or even the old TV series, you're going to be crushingly disappointed.

Yes, they've done things very differently. Trillian wouldn't be famed in the States for her British accent, because she doesn't have one - it's American. (Thankfully, her voice is pleasant to listen to, unlike Trillian of the TV series.) She does look a bit like I would probably picture Trillian, though. Ford isn't a peculiar-looking redhead, he's African American. Don't really mind that much either, to be honest. Martin Freeman as Arthur works very well, although he comes across as more tired than indignant.

The look of Marvin ... well, they got the triangular eyes right, even if the colour's wrong. The resigned body language is brilliant, so kudos to Warwick Davis ... I'm just not sure about the voice. As much as I love Alan Rickman and think he's brilliant whatever he does, I think his Marvin is more sarcastic and bitter than depressed, which is disappointing.

On the plus side, Sam Rockwell's Zaphod is pretty much perfect, just the right amount of cheese. The two heads thing, which was just a throwaway gag that worked on radio, has an entirely new approach that feels contrived and silly. With the CGI nowadays (and when the film was made), there would have been no problem CGI:ing in a second head (the old TV version had to use a robotic head that kept running out of power), but instead, they have it sort of ... hidden in his throat? And he can whip it out for comedic effect. The third arm we only see in passing in one scene. On the other hand, the portrayal of Zaphod is brilliant. Just so, Rockwell; just so.

The script was originally penned by Douglas Adams, but as he sadly passed away in 2001, it was finished by someone else. This has caused a lot of fans to blame the new guy for everything that goes against previous incarnations of the story. Even though those changes were actually written by Douglas Adams himself! Don't remember exactly which parts in particular, but I think the whole Arthur/Trillian love story was one of them. That love story just feels odd. They were the last two humans from Earth, but that doesn't mean they're compatible ...

The Humma Kavula side story is bizarre but genial in its own way. The sermon of the Great White Handkerchief is hilarious if you see it as a parody of organised religion, which I do, considering Douglas Adams was a "militant" Atheist. He preferred to put it like that so that people would be sure not to misinterpret him as an agnostic. (The Book's description of how the Babelfish came to be is a deleted scene - gee, I wonder why?)

But anyway, plot-wise it just feels all over the place. Sure, this can be said for previous incarnations as well, I suppose, but here things are changed around that it makes even less sense than usual. And for me, part of the charm goes with it. Not to say that it's not funny, quirky and a very well made film, because it is. They even opted for Jim Henson's creature shop works for the Vogons instead of just CGI, which I applaud them for. Looks much more realistic. Just compare Yoda of original trilogy (puppet) vs prequel trilogy (CGI) of Star Wars, and you'll know what I mean.

Maybe if they had gone for a straight adaptation of the book, or even the radio series, it would have worked better. As it is, they did their best and everything, but the film is so all over the place that it just feels bizarre and cobbled together. And that's not as brilliant as the story was originally written.

Some family members of Douglas Adams make cameos too, as extras. I like that. I also like that his image is shown at the very end, when the Improbability Drive is engaged. It's so touching it nearly brings me to tears. And the fact that this film stands as a tribute to a great man and his work ... well, as a fan, I can't help but to appreciate it. This is what he was working on when he died, and while the result leaves a lot to desire, it's still Hitchhiker's, you know?

2.5 out of 5 towels, and that being said, Happy Towel Day!!

Happy Towel Day 2012!

2012-05-25T09:35:00.000+01:00

Today is the day we celebrate the life and works of Douglas Adams. Here's my choice of clothing for the day:

(Obtained from Qwertee a while back.)

The Squeeze was a darling this morning and volunteered bringing a towel with him to work as well, bless him. I'm probably more into observing Towel Day than he is, but he still does it. :)

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partly it has great practical value -- you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-tohand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you -- daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.

More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitchhiker) discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitchhiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

Hence a phrase which has passed into hitch hiking slang, as in "Hey, you sass that hoopy Ford Prefect? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is." (Sass: know, be aware of, meet, have sex with; hoopy: really together guy; frood: really amazingly together guy.)

-- Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Want to know what this is all about? Check out the FAQ on TowelDay.org

One of Our Thursdays is Missing by Jasper Fforde (2011)

2012-05-24T10:00:00.000+01:00

Book review: Thursday Next #6: One of Our Thursdays is Missing by Jasper Fforde (Hodder & Stoughton, 2011)

IT IS A TIME OF UNREST IN THE BOOKWORLD.

Only the diplomatic skills of ace literary detective Thursday Next can avert a devastating genre war. But a week before the peace talks, Thursday vanishes. Has she simply returned home to the RealWorld or is this something more sinister?

All is not yet lost. Living at the quiet end of speculative fiction is the written Thursday Next, eager to prove herself worthy of her illustrious namesake.

The fictional Thursday is soon hot on the trail of her factual alter-ego, and quickly stumbles upon a plot so fiendish that it threatens the very BookWorld itself.

The peculiar thing about the BookWorld books is that while the books are similarly themed, they evolve. The world you start out with in The Eyre Affair changes completely in the subsequent books. It's all a bit marvellous, really. So it should come as no surprise that the latest instalment in the series changes things around again. For one thing, in One of Our Thursdays is Missing, Thursday isn't the narrator. Or, well, she is, but it's not the real Thursday - it's the fictional one introduced in the previous book.

The problem facing Fictional Thursday is that her books are hardly ever read, especially since she took over and tried to make Real Thursday proud by making the books more like what actually happened, instead of the highly sexualised, violent drivel that made them so popular in the first place. Being unread carries a big stigma in the BookWorld. On the other hand, as no one hardly reads her, Fictional Thursday can go about doing her changes with Jurisfiction not getting too involved.

That is, until Real Thursday goes missing.

No one has seen her in the BookWorld, and Landen and the kids miss her in the RealWorld, but figure she's away on Jurisfiction business or something. Fictional Thursday needs to find her, because she's due to help in the peace talks and stop a genre war breaking out over at Racy Novel. Oh, and the BookWorld has had a makeover. The Great Library now features less, and instead, they've gone over to a geographical system. There's a map and everything.

In the re-made BookWorld, you travel by means that are familiar to us Outlanders, meaning they have taxis and buses and trains and things. Thursday gets to investigate debris from a book that crashed. Could it have a connection to the missing Thursday? Together with a mechanical butler ("everyone needs a butler") called Sprocket, Fictional Thursday sets out investigating.

There's not much I can say without gushing, because I love these books, and I was certainly not disappointed by this one. Sprocket, I hope we'll see more of. Loved how the other characters in Thursday's books were unhappy with the changes she's made, and how different they were. Sweet, plocking Pickwick, for instance, played by the dodo in Alice in Wonderland, turns out to have serious attitude issues.

We also get an insight into how self-publishing is received in the BookWorld, as well as that of fanfiction. From what I've read in his FAQ section, Jasper Fforde was against fanfiction to begin with, but has since realised that it doesn't necessarily suck. Good for him.

As the book doesn't feature the real Thursday (much), there's not a lot of Jurisfiction involved, but there is some, at least. Also like to find out more about the BookWorld and how it came to be. The constant evolving means it's a little difficult to follow when it comes to making roleplaying adventures in that world, but what does it matter? One of Our Thursdays is Missing is not just fun, but funny, innovative and delightful. Can't wait for the next one to come out!

5 out of 5 mime fields.

The Lovely Bones (2009)

2012-05-23T10:00:00.000+01:00

Film review: The Lovely Bones (2009), directed by Peter Jackson

The description said something about a girl trapped in another world, trying to track down her killer, or something like that. What it turned out to be was certainly that, but so much more at the same time.

The film's main character and narrator is young Susie Salmon (Saoirse Ronan), who, in an American Beauty kind of way, informs us that she's about to tell us about when she was murdered. "Dark," I thought, but I had no idea what was coming. "Dark" isn't the half of it.

Once the poor girl is reported missing, her parents are beside themselves, and the father (Mark Wahlberg) becomes obsessed with trying to find her. He doesn't trust that the police (Michael Imperioli et al.) are doing their job, and tries to help. His wife (Rachel Weisz) can hardly take it, and gets Grandma Lynn (Susan Sarandon) to help out. "Help" in the sense of "causing even more chaos".

Meanwhile, Susie is not just missing, she's dead (of course), and she's trapped in limbo: she can see the events of the real world on occasion, but she's also stuck in this world-between-worlds, where she meets a girl (Nikki SooHoo) who tries to help her move on, into the light, as it were.

The other Salmon children (Rose McIver and Christian Ashdale) try to get on with their lives, and Lindsey (McIver) starts to have her suspicions about a man down the street (Stanley Tucci) ...

As films go, it's bizarre, and the world-between-worlds is as magnificent as it is beautiful - well, the parts that aren't terrifying, that is. Susie is trying to come to terms with being dead, and her family wants her killer to be brought to justice. And the killer? Well, he just doesn't want to be found out, plain and simple.

And HOLY CRAP, the killer is a creepy slimeball of ick! I feel like I need to take a shower after seeing the film, because he just left me feeling unclean. Stunning performance from a versatile actor, but if I had met him having just seen this film, I'd be reluctant to shake his hand! (Not to say that I have met him at all, because I haven't, and I doubt I ever will.) The character's the sort of person you'd think anyone would run a mile if he said so much as hello to you, but unfortunately for Susie, she's too polite to do such a thing.

The Lovely Bones is a Peter Jackson film, and the films I've seen of his have all been done very well. It bodes well for The Hobbit (yeah, like Lord of the Rings didn't? *rolls eyes at self*) which, of course, will be out in December this year. With regards to this film, about a scary, homicidal paedophile, I feel like telling my nieces and nephews to never follow strangers down holes. Even if the strangers are people they're actually familiar with.

This is not a comfortable film to watch, it's deeply disconcerting - perhaps even more so if you have children - but it's also a very good film, even if it's terrifically strange and darker than the inside of a safe.

4 out of 5 dollhouses.

Pulp Fiction (1994)

2012-05-22T16:25:00.000+01:00

Film review: Pulp Fiction (1994), directed by Quentin Tarantino

Occupying a lofty #4 on IMDb's Top 250 list is Pulp Fiction, a cult film from 1994. What it's about? Errm, yeah, that's a good question. It's told in a number of little episodes, you could say, each featuring a few characters of the (criminal) underworld that mainly talk to each other about their own little musings, and then it moves on to something else.

For instance, Tim Roth and Amanda Plummer have a conversation in a diner, which turns into a heist. Samuel L Jackson and John Travolta eat burgers in a car and then go into an apartment building talking, making their way to someone's door.

Then there's Bruce Willis who's a fighter, Ving Rhames who is some kind of crime boss, marrieed to Uma Thurman, a junkie that John Travolta enters a dancing competition with. And it's all a bit bizarre, to be honest.

There's also Eric Stoltz, Phil LaMarr, Rosanna Arquette, Christopher Walken, Harvey Keitel and a number of others.

The dialogue is amusing, the violent scenes are violent (hey, this is a Tarantino film, after all) and the story ... while not exactly coherent has become one of the most popular cult films ever. And I'm not sure why. Perhaps it's because it was told in little episodes and not as one big story, or that I simply don't gush as soon as Tarantino's name is mentioned, but no, I fail to see how this is the fourth best film of all time.

What's so great about it? Beats me. Seemed to pass the time okay, but I wouldn't go further than that. Oh well, can't love 'em all, I suppose. Each to their own, and all that. Just thought I'd like it more, because it's kept in such high regard by a lot of people, but alas, it was not to be. No matter how good the acting, or how clever the dialogue, it felt disjointed and more weird than wonderful.

2 out of 5 milkshakes.

Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971)

2012-05-21T10:00:00.001+01:00

Film review: Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory (1971), directed by Mel Stuart

Based on the Roald Dahl novel Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, which I read several times growing up, this colourful adaptation is a musical extravaganza.

Famously secretive candy maker Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) is offering a unique experience to five lucky winners - find a golden ticket in one of his Wonka chocolate bars, and you get to come to his chocolate factory for an exclusive tour.

The world goes mad trying to find the tickets, and one who wishes he could afford the luxury of a chocolate bar at all, let alone a factory tour, is little Charlie Bucket (Peter Ostrum). He lives with his parents and four elderly grandparents in a shack, and they struggle to get by. Of course, the fifth and final golden ticket just happens to be found by Charlie, bought thanks to a coin he found on the street.

The other winners are perhaps less deserving of the experience, shall we say? There's the glutton Augustus Gloop (Michael Bollner), the TV addict Mike Teevee (Paris Themmen), ever-chewing gum chewing chav Violet Beauregarde (Denise Nickerson) and upper class spoiled brat Veruca Salt (Julie Dawn Cole), who had her rich daddy buy up boxes and boxes of chocolate bars and setting his factory workers on finding her the ticket. The kids all bring a parent, except for Charlie, who brings Grandpa Joe (Jack Albertson) along instead.

And what a marvellous place the Wonka chocolate factory is! Rivers of chocolate, edible landscapes, ingenious inventions ... and one by one, the children are picked off, because Wonka is perhaps not quite as wonderful as he might seem ...

Which is one of the reasons for loving this film. Or, if not the film, at least Gene Wilder, whom I love. He brings Wonka to a whole new level of creepy, in a different way to that of Johnny Depp in the more recent adaptation. This Wonka is not just intense, he's sinister. Don't let those blue eyes fool you! Oh, and he's even become an internet meme:

(I, err ... *cough*)

The music, aside from the little ditties by the Oompa Loompas, are not really my cup of tea, but then I normally tend to want to skip musical numbers in films.

Don't really know why the film seems to be set somewhere in America, considering Roald Dahl was Britain-based, but it doesn't really matter. Veruca is still a spoiled brat who gets everything she can point at, Mike still wants to be on TV and Violet still won't stop chewing gum.

If you're looking for a weird but wonderful film, look for this one. Just don't show it to kids too young, because the trippy, horrific boat sequence will probably scare the willies out of them.

3.5 out of 5 golden tickets.

Pentultimate week of 5 Weeks - 5 Themes

2012-05-20T14:31:00.002+01:00

So strike me pink, but I was sure I had written this post before, scheduled it for this morning and everything, and ... no trace of it anywhere! o.O

Tomorrow, the penultimate week of 5 Weeks - 5 Themes begins, and it's entitled Weird and Wonderful. Stuff that doesn't necessarily make sense, or is just plain peculiar, but pretty good, nonetheless.

One of the above images is to do with a book. At least two others are based on books. If you know what day Friday is, you'll have no trouble figuring out what the topic of the day will be. :)

Anyhoo. It's fun to be able to have themes, but at the same time, I picked a really bad month to do so. Been stupidly busy with work, and it would have been nice to say "actually, I'm going to skip posting today" but having a theme kinda means I have to stick with it to the end. Only a couple of weeks to go now. Problem is, I haven't decided on the theme for the final week. I had one, which I've then decided against, so now I'm considering something else!

See you tomorrow!

The worst movies of all time - Guest post by Ben

2012-05-19T10:00:00.000+01:00

Smile, you're in a romcom!

It seems that Hollywood churns out films these days with little regard for authenticity, class or style. Script and substance are squashed by cheesy lines and outrageous CGI in the rapidly homogenising movie industry. This doesn’t deter cinema goers, who are happy to spend their hard-earned cash on the spiralling price of film tickets, as well as £8 on some puffed up corn, carbonated water and syrup. Yet from time to time, even this monolith of consumerist mediocrity can drop a blooper so bad that the public can’t stomach it.

After much research amongst the Blockbuster bone-yard, some truly horrific finds have surfaced. There actually is such a thing as Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2 (2004) which recounts the wacky adventures of infants fighting to save America’s freedom … for the second time. Yes, there was a Baby Geniuses One (1999), which clearly failed to impress viewers any more than its sequel, as the consensus amongst critics is that both movies, totally suck.

The universally slated Gigli ‘starring’ Jennifer Lopez is unsurprisingly conspicuous in rankings of the worst films. The unfunniest romantic comedy ever (which is really saying something) is a media yardstick with which critics can figuratively beat Lopez and that hammiest of Hollywood talent, Ben Affleck. Perhaps Gigli, and every other film starring Lopez, (including Anaconda) should be a lesson to all concerned that singers should be singers and leave the acting to professionals. Madonna can also learn a thing or two here, as her contribution to bargain-box DVD rentals is nothing if not substantial.

It’s not only products of new Hollywood that are face-palm fodder. In 1966, The Wild World of Batwoman told the laughably low-budget story of the heroine and her dollybird Batgirls enacting utterly pointless and sexualised copycat antics of the real Batman. At least this movie can be applauded for one thing, having a go against. The leading lady actually made her own costume out of cardboard and eyeliner. Fair play for that, as the same excuse for being terrible cannot be made for the Guinness World Record holder of box office disasters, Cutthroat Island. The doomed and all-round rubbish action film lost producers almost $88m when released in 1995 and put Carolco Pictures out of business.

Maybe the most intriguing of all the titles listed on a number of the worst movie rankings of all time is the ominously porn-like Santa with Muscles starring that icon of the Nineties, Hulk Hogan. After researching its complex and multi-faceted plot a little further, the conclusion drawn was a lack of hope for all mankind. Time to reward oneself with an Al Pacino gangster thriller and wash the memories of the worst movies of all time from my mind.

This post was brought to you by guest blogger Ben, who lives in Staffordshire and works at 8Ball - the masters of movie t-shirts. (They have a bunch of funky TV t-shirts too, actually, including one with Pinky and the Brain. ♥) Ben tells me that he once stayed awake for three days just to see what it felt like, which sounds like a pretty neat idea to me. I did that too once, but couldn't resist a shut-eye after about 36 hours.

Would you like to be a guest blogger at The Squeee? Send in your post(s) through email (blog at traxy dot co dot uk) and introduce yourself! For more information on guest blogging, please see the "About" page!

Titanic (2012)

2012-05-18T10:00:00.001+01:00

TV miniseries review: Titanic (ITV, 2012), directed by Jon Jones, written by Julian Fellowes

Penned by the man behind Downton Abbey, the four-part miniseries Titanic is the story of the RMS Titanic, but done in a sort of ... Downton Abbey style. Famous characters from the actual ship's history are included: officers Lightoller (Steven Waddington), Murdoch (Brian McCardie) and Wilde (Will Keen); ship designer Thomas Andrews (Stephen Campbell Moore), Captain Smith (David Calder) and the White Star Line man Bruce Ismay (James Wilby).

The first three episodes tell the stories of the enormous cast of characters up until the point where they've hit the iceberg. The fourth and final part then deals with the actual sinking, and who survives and who doesn't.

There are characters from first class (Linus Roache, Geraldine Somerville, Perdita Weeks, Celia Imrie, and Peter Wight), second class (Toby Jones, Maria Doyle Kennedy), third class (Peter McDonald, Ruth Bradley, Dragos Bucur), servants of first and second class passengers (Lee Ross, Lyndsey Marshal), and staff (Glen Blackhall, Antonio Magro, Jenna-Louise Coleman)

I won't go into all of their respective plots, because that would take forever, but there are some similarities with the 1997 film, such as an upper-class young lady with a rebellious streak ... And yes, it's impossible not to compare this series with the film. Visually, they're very similar - same life jackets, same ship, and some characters look similar too, such as the captain. What we don't get are the cheesy lines, the cheesy storyline, or the whole "let's forget about everyone else except these two characters". This is an all-inclusive deal, which is also the biggest problem.

There are just so many characters that it's difficult to give them enough time for you to really care about them, let alone learn their names. (Then again, I'm rubbish with names. If you're not, you can probably keep up.) To me, there's "that guy from The Catherine Tate Show" who is teasing "that maid with the book" but who secretly loves her; there's Lord and Lady Wossname with the Daughter who falls for That American Bloke; Toby Jones and "The First Mrs. Bates" (which of course made me think she was a villain, and it wasn't until the end of episode three I realised she wasn't), Foreign Geezer, Irish Family, the Italian Brothers: one in the boiler room (who was of a mighty fine build, if I may say so), one a first class restaurant waiter, who charmed the dimples off Cute Maid, and Lightoller.

Irish Family's mum I didn't care much for, because while she was conflicted, and that's good, she was too indecisive about it. "I want our old life, really, and while I don't want to leave Belfast, I won't mention it, and ohhhh, Foreign Geezer, I'll have some of him ... maybe, but really, I just want everything to stay the same". Argh! Not to mention their horde of children, two of which were definitely Stupid Children, that keep running away and putting themselves in danger. Irish Family's father, on the other hand, was such a sweet man.

Cute Maid and Italian Waiter were delightful. And oh, Toby Jones had my fullest sympathies. Being married to The First Mrs. Bates seemed about as enjoyable as anyone having seen Downton Abbey would have guessed, yes, it really was tricky for me to put Mrs. Bates aside and realise that this was a completely different character, with totally different chips on her shoulders. When Lady Wossname's Irish heritage was brought up, and the Lady gave her husband the 1912 equivalent of a "STFU!!" look, The First Mrs. Bates, a very proud Irishwoman, had my fullest sympathies.

Considering I felt tears forming toward the end of episode three, I dreaded the final episode, knowing how much the 1997 can make me cry. What a finale, though. Heartbreaking and sad, terrifying (oh yeah, people get locked in here too), and at the same time, probably even more historically accurate than the aforementioned film.

And it's really good, too. Then again, I've come to expect a certain standard from Julian Fellowes since he stopped being Kilwillie and started writing costume dramas. Sure, it's a lot like Downton Abbey, except here you get more focus on the "downstairs" rather than a more equal split of upstairs and downstairs, but then again, it's a lot more interesting to hear about the second and third class passengers and the servants.

Well worth a watch, but be warned, there might be crying.

4 out of 5 missing binoculars.

Swedish Ways: Kristi himmelfärdsdag

2012-05-17T18:41:00.002+01:00

Today, Norway celebrate their release from the union with Sweden. They celebrate it passionately, so happy are they to be rid of us. Ahh well. Hope you guys all have a great Syttene Mai, neighbourinos!

This year, Norway's national day co-incides with Kristi himmelfärdsdag, which is Ascension Day in English. This is the day when, according to the New Testament, flight Jesus Christ took off from planet Earth, or the Son of God ascended into heaven after having died on a cross and resurrected three days later around Easter, if you will.

"K thx bai!"

Kristi himmelfärdsdag (Christ heaven-journey day) a red letter day, a public holiday, so to the average Swede, it's less about Jesus and more about having a day off work. Swedes are a secular bunch in general, so if the clue wasn't in the name, most people would probably have no idea why the day is a public holiday. Kind of a paradox, really, how many religion-based public holidays there are in Sweden, when you consider how secular it is.

As far as I know, the day always falls on a Thursday as well, which means most people also take Friday off to get a long weekend, because Friday is a "klämdag" (a day that's wedged in between a public holiday and a weekend). Which would be very nice to have here in the UK too, but I guess we'll have to wait for the double-whammy of Bank Holidays in early June instead.

Dirk Gently: Series 1 (2012)

2012-05-17T10:00:00.001+01:00

TV series review: Dirk Gently: Series 1 (2012), directed by Tom Shankland

The pilot episode of Dirk Gently left me cold, but as a big fan of everything Douglas Adams, the news that they were making a whole series (well, okay, only three episodes) was still more than welcome.

And this time it actually worked - hooray! What I really didn't like about the pilot and wanted them to have done differently ... was done differently. That is, they weren't trying to adapt either of the two books, they just took the character of Dirk Gently (Stephen Mangan) and let him do his own thing. Have plots specifically written for this series. Thank you!

Okay, they've still got Richard MacDuff (Darren Boyd) as his bemused sidekick, which is a step away from the books, but in keeping with the pilot episode, and I don't really mind, to be honest. At least they're not trying to be creative with the books and make a complete mess of it.

Janice the surly secretary (Lisa Jackson) is back, and Richard's other half Susan (Helen Baxendale) shows up in the periphery too. And then there's DI Gilks (Jason Watkins), who, for lack of a better way of putting it, is to Dirk and Richard what DI Lestrade is to Holmes and Watson in Sherlock. Sort of.

You see, there's a very good reason for pointing out that show in particular and not Conan Doyle's characters in general. Reason being that Dirk Gently is basically Sherlock, cross-bred with Doctor Who. Heck, the two eponymous sleuths even have great, curly hair, but they're also highly skilled in their sleuthery, and ever so slightly eccentric ... like the Doctor. And, of course, both Dirk Gently and Sherlock Holmes have bemused sidekicks who try to kick their asses in gear.

Sherlock is brilliant, no question, but is it a good idea to make Dirk Gently so similar to it? I've not made up my mind yet. The Doctor Who vibes, particularly noticeable in the second episode, work, though. Especially if you consider that Douglas Adams worked as a script editor on Doctor Who back in the day. Nice nod, there.

Adventure-wise, the episodes are barmy, but delightful. Episode one guest stars Miranda Raison, and is about dangerous (to national security) computer software, and a man who insists his horoscopes are all coming true. Are the two cases connected? That's what the word "holistic" in "Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency" implies ...

Episode two, where we meet Bill Paterson as one of Dirk's old college professors in Cambridge, means Dirk meets his match in a female college student, however bizarre a notion that seems. (Dirk Gently having a love interest? Really?) Dirk and Richard get to try to keep a robot safe, but of course, things aren't as straightforward as they might first appear.

The third and final episode, although hopefully there will be more, guest stars Lisa Dillon, as a woman Dirk has taken to stalking, for an experiment. She hires him to find her stalker. Meanwhile, a man Dirk helped put in prison years ago has been set free, and he might just be a tiny bit vengeful ... Not to mention the cleaning lady, with whom Dirk has waged a cold war.

Either way you look at it, taking Dirk Gently the character away from the storylines of the Dirk Gently novels makes the show work. Really work. Perhaps there should be slightly less focus on it being "Comedic Sherlock Alternative", and while keeping Richard MacDuff on as a main character isn't according to Canon, at least it works for this setting. Perhaps Dirk Gently needs an average man to keep his flights of fancy under wraps a little.

I hope there will be more episodes produced, even if it's only in short bursts like this. Well worth it, and I'd rather have a Sherlock Who Dirk Gently than no Dirk Gently on TV at all.

4 out of 5 missing cats.

Great Expectations (2011)

2012-05-16T10:00:00.000+01:00

TV miniseries review: Great Expectations (BBC, 2011), directed by Brian Kirk

Little orphan Pip lives in the marshes with his blacksmith uncle (Shaun Dooley) and greedy aunt (Claire Rushbrook). He reckons he'll be a blacksmith too when he grows up. One day, he comes across an escaped convict, Abel Magwitch (Ray Winstone), and helps him - he's too terrified not to - and thinks nothing more of it. Especially not since the lady, Miss Havisham (Gillian Anderson), from the big house wants him to come and play with her adopted daughter, Estella.

And Pip does. At first, they're reluctant playmates, but they grow up and get educated together, and little Pip gets his hopes up about marrying Estella when he's older.

When Pip (Douglas Booth) is older, and so is Vanessa (Vanessa Kirby) ... he gets a scholarship of sorts, to go to London and learn to be a gentleman. The benefactor wishes to remain anonymous, but this must be the work of Miss Havisham! And so Pip goes to the big city, learns to be a toff, and tries hard to squander all his money, hoping to marry Estelle at the end of it ...

Also starring Jack Roth as Dolge Orlick, David Suchet as Jaggers, Paul Rhys as Compeyson, Mark Addy as Pumblechook, Harry Lloyd as Herbert Pocket, Mary Roscoe as Hannah, and Susan Lynch as Molly.

I've had little exposure to Charles Dickens so far in my life, so this is the first time I've encountered Pip. Now I understand why a friend wanted him to be cannon fodder for a Jurisfiction roleplaying session. Snooty, deluded bastard! Definitely not a fan. Uncle Joe, yes, what a lovely man ... but the rest are all a bunch of unpleasant oiks, one more horrible than the other. I mean, Orlick, what a charming fellow that was.

And Miss Haversham. Bit different from what she's like in the BookWorld. Very ethereal and dream-like ... and completely bonkers. LOVED seeing Gillian Anderson playing her. Probably the bits I looked forward to most in the subsequent episodes, to be honest.

There were only three episodes in total, but it seemed to get the job done. As I've not read the book, I can't compare it to that, or even another adaptation. The shots were very bleak, almost devoid of colour at times. Which makes it look quite remarkable but doesn't necessarily do anything but add atmosphere.

Story-wise, I wasn't too keen on it, mostly because Pip was a complete dick about everything and everyone. But there you go. At least it's another Dickens exposure under me belt. Not that it makes me terribly keen on reading the book, but never mind.

Stylish production, well acted and everything, just too bleak for my taste.

3 out of 5 cobwebs.

Treasure Island (2012)

2012-05-15T10:00:00.000+01:00

TV miniseries review: Treasure Island (Sky/Syfy, 2012), directed by Steve Barron

This classic pirate tale, once penned by Robert Louis Stevenson, begins with young Jim Hawkins (Toby Regbo) and his mum (Shirley Henderson) stumbling across a tale of a pirate treasure, belonging to the notorious Captain Flint (Donald Sutherland).

Being in dire need of cash after the death of his father, Jim takes his tale to Dr. Livesey (Daniel Mays), and once they've secured funds for the expedition by the greedy Squire Trelawney (Rupert Penry-Jones), they set sail for the caribbean.

Little do they know parts of the crew, such as the cook Long John Silver (Eddie Izzard), are actually former associates of Flint, who are more than a little interested in getting their mitts on the treasure ... and they're not the only ones ...

Also stARRRRing Philip Glenister as Captain Smollett, Elijah Wood as Ben Gunn, Nina Sosanya as Alibe Silver, and we also see former Robin Hoodies David Harewood and Keith Allen in minor roles.

You like pirates, savvy? Treasure Island is the ultimate pirate tale, a classic for young and old, and while I hardly remember anything from reading the book - because I was probably 12 at the time - I wonder how faithful this story is. Not that it really matters, I had a lot of fun watching this.

Elijah Wood's potty Ben Gunn is both brilliant and hilarious, Izzard's Long John Silver is ... both charming, kind and devious all in one go. Whose side is he really on? Penry-Jones's toff is as conniving as the good doctor is naive.

Filmed in a fairly bleak colour scheme, I think this adaptation of Treasure Island is a good way of bringing in new people to the story. It got me wanting to re-read the novel and I hope it inspires others to do the same.

4 out of 5 cutlasses.

Falling Skies: Series 1 (2011)

2012-05-14T10:00:00.000+01:00

TV series review: Falling Skies: Series 1 (2011)

The Earth has been invaded by aliens. Aliens who do not come in peace. Within a few days, most of humanity has been wiped out, and children between the ages of 8 and 16 are taken as slaves, their minds controlled by a sort of external spine.

The rest of humanity is left to pick up the pieces, just trying to survive ... and to try and gain advantage against the invaders.

One of the parents having lost a child is Tom Mason (Noah Wyle), a history professor, who has two other kids to look after - Hal (Drew Roy) and Matt (Maxim Knight). Hal is wanting to fight back, and little Matt doesn't want to be left out either.

Together with their father and the rest of the civilians of a group they call the 2nd Massachusetts, they're trying to get away from Boston, while hoping to one day reunite with Ben (Connor Jessup) again, organise a resistance movement and take down the aliens ... and not turn on each other.

Also starring Moon Bloodgood (epic name!), Jessy Schram, Seychelle Gabriel, Peter Shinkoda, Mpho Koaho, Sarah Carter, Colin Cunningham, Will Patton; featuring Steven Weber and Henry Czerny.

We enjoyed this show a lot. Some friends of ours, who are more clued up about military organisation, found they couldn't enjoy it as much because there's no way a military operation would be run like that. But for lay people who couldn't really care less, it's a great show.

If predictable.

You soon realise what those extra spines ("harnesses") do to kids, and what's happening and why, but it's still interesting to follow, no two ways about it. How would humanity cope with an alien invasion? Not terribly well. The fighting back thing, though, I'm all for that.

My biggest criticism of Falling Skies that it suffers from Stupid Child syndrome AND Annoying Child syndrome, at the same time. If those two things aren't tropes, they should be. You know these types of kid, you've seen them many times before. (Remember Walt in Lost? At times, I wished the bloody polar bear would eat him and get it over with.)

The Stupid Child is a child that will run off willy-nilly and get everyone in danger, not just themselves, and it gets worse because then the grown-ups have to run after them and get them out of harm's way. In this show, he's called "Matt". The Annoying Child is similar, although perhaps deliberately putting everyone in danger because they feel like it, and they get in a huff when people risk their lives trying to save them. I believe he's called "Rick" in this one.

Ah, well. There are aliens who are evil, maybe, and humans that definitely are. Alien invasions sure bring out the best in people. But that's part of what makes the show work. It's not just sitting around singing Kumba Ya and hoping things will work out for the better because we're working together, but there are human bad guys too, and it's a toss-up if the humans or the aliens are the most dangerous ...

On a good note - the show has been renewed for a second series, which I'm looking forward to, although I don't know when it's out, but it'll be some time this year.

4 out of 5 hideouts.

Week 3 of 5 Weeks - 5 Themes

2012-05-13T10:00:00.000+01:00

Week three of 5 Weeks - 5 Themes approaches, and the new theme isssssssssss:

Terrific Television! Because there's no time as the present to try and catch up with some of the brilliant series and miniseries that grace our TV screens. From putrid pirates to lovely lords and ladies, or ferocious fighters, the old tube still has got it goin' on.

Check back tomorrow to see what's first on the list. :)

Happy and sad, but mostly over-worked

2012-05-12T10:00:00.000+01:00

So much to do, so little time. Currently very busy with work, and have been for the past couple of weeks - and will be for at least part of the week to come, so I'm feeling less and less coherent. Sorry about that. Hopefully things will be back to normal by the end of next week, fingers crossed. Until then, I just hope I'll be able to post as per my usual schedule.

Meanwhile, news are:

We've finally started watching Once Upon a Time, which enjoyable. It's been picked up for a second series as well, so well done them. Need to set up a series link for Sunday, when Starling begins on Sky 1. Why you need to watch it? Brendan Coyle is in it, with Lesley Sharp.

Another show we're watching (and probably prefer over the one just mentioned, to be brutally honest) is Grimm, which, too, is getting a second series. Which is more than can be said about Alcatraz, sadly.

News broke earlier in the week that Alcatraz hadn't been picked up for a second series. Boo! Hauser kicks butt, and the show is surprisingly dark. You think you know what's coming and then it surprises you with being just a shade darker than expected.

On an awesome note: The Avengers has smashed box office records and in a way, I can't help but feel kind of vindicated on behalf of Joss Whedon. I don't dare hope it will make certain networks think "hm, you know how we cancelled Firefly? Maybe we should make some more of that, come to think of it." It would be awesome, but it's unlikely. For now, if you haven't seen The Avengers, you totally should, because it's awesome.

And yes, there's at least one shirtless scene. With Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo) - not to be missed. No, I'm not talking about when he's the Hulk, I'm talking when he's Bruce Banner. But then again, that brainy look is HELLOOOOOOOOOOOO NURSE too:

The Fades: Series 1 (2011)

2012-05-11T10:00:00.000+01:00

TV series review: The Fades (BBC, 2011), directed by Farren Blackburn and Tom Shankland

Modern day urban Britain. 17-year-old Paul (Iain de Caestecker) has nightmares about the world coming to an end, and to top it all off, he can also see dead people - so called "Fades".

Fades are spirits trapped on this side because they couldn't move into the light, and because they're trapped with the living, who don't even know they're there, they are ... disgruntled, shall we say?

Some of them, like John (Joe Dempsie), have learned how to become partially human again, but at a price: their table manners leave a lot to be desired.

And they're at war.

The "Angelics" (e.g. Johnny Harris and Daniela Nardini) are people like Paul, who can see Fades. Paul just never expected to be one of them, let alone being dragged into a bloody conflict and having to balance saving humanity from extinction and getting a girlfriend and not flunk his A-levels.

Also starring: Claire Rushbrook as Paul's mum, Natalie Dormer as dearly departed Sarah, Tom Ellis as Sarah's grieving husband Mark, who is also a history teacher at Paul's school, Jenn Murray as Natalie, and Chris Mason as Steve.

The Fades is a fantasy horror story in six parts, and while the last episode was setting the scene for a second series, it was confirmed last month that the BBC are't renewing it. Which is a shame because it's actually a really good show.

The characters were fairly likeable - best friend Mac (Daniel Kaluuya) was my favourite - and oh so human. Saving the world when your twin sister's (Lily Loveless) best friend (Sophie Wu) wants to stick her tongue down your throat? Snogging is more important, obviously.

While the Fades weren't exactly neighbourly, the show gave them a reason for being killers, and being Angelic should not be confused with being, well, angelic. Good and evil is perhaps more shades of grey than pure black and white. That makes the show fascinating. Just a shame we won't get to see more of it.

4 out of 5 gory, mutilated corpses not for the faint-hearted.

The Frighteners (1996)

2012-05-10T10:00:00.000+01:00

Film review: The Frighteners (1996), directed by Peter Jackson

Since the tragic death of his darling wife, architect Frank Bannister (Michael J Fox) has been working as a ghostbuster. Everything about him screams "FRAUD!!" - especially how he tends to show up with business cards at funerals - but the ghosts are real ... and his accomplices. What else is there to do in a small, miserable town when you're dead?

One of the cases takes Bannister and friends (Chi McBride, John Astin, Jim Fyfe) to the Lynskeys (Trini Alvarado and Peter Dobson), but it soon turns out that there's more to this little town and its hauntings than the one staged to give Bannister an income. Something far more sinister is on the prowl, and it doesn't just move objects ... it kills people.

Can Bannister figure out what the glowing numbers on people's foreheads mean? Can he catch the wraith before over-zealous Agent Dammers (Jeffrey Combs) decides to lock him away for good?

Also starring Dee Wallace-Stone as Patricia Ann Bradley, Jake Busey as Johnny Bartlett, Julianna McCarthy as Old Lady Bradley, and R Lee Ermey as Sgt. Hiles.

What do you get when you set Peter Jackson free with Michael J Fox and CGI ghostified actors? You get a horror comedy that's both interesting and amusing ... if perhaps not terribly scary. It's easy to connect the dots too, but what does it matter?

Sinister old ladies, shouty drill sergeants (yeah, it's the bloke from Full Metal Jacket alright, not like he's typecast much), rotting old cowboys and even a cameo by Peter Jackson himself. It's quite, quite delightful, on the whole. It's fun and quirky but with an undertone of seriousness - after all, it's about a spirit on a killing spree!

If Jake Busey reminds anyone of Gary Busey, it's because Jake is Gary's son. Thought he looked familiar, and the name sure is a big clue!

One of the best parts is probably when Bannister acts as a medium to a woman who has just lost her husband. Bit of an interesting, err, date/séance. Three's definitely a crowd. The funniest character, however, has got to be the over-the-top federal agent, who has infiltrated one secret organisation too many.

I enjoyed the story, the acting and pretty much everything about this film. There's no two ways about it. It's not perfect, but it's certainly good enough.

4 out of 5 urns.