“I did it. I told you, I told you I did.” – Dave Matthews Band

This is post #30 in my quest for 30 in 30.

So here we are. 31 days ago I announced that I would be attempting to write 30 new posts in 30 straight days. I am happy to say that I was able to pull it off. When I go back and I read some of what I wrote when I was just getting started I’m able to see a definite improvement in my writing. I also realized a few things about myself that will help me in future projects (apparently I work better under pressure).

Have A Goal
One thing that definitely became apparent is that completing a project is a lot easier when you have a definitive goal that you’re trying to accomplish. Knowing exactly what I was going for made the journey much more exciting. Even if your goal is to survive like mine was it gets you on the path. Making positive changes in your life can be as easy as not doing anything detrimental long enough to loose any bad habits that you might of had. Once you’ve lost the negatives you open space to replace them with positive actions that can get you to heights you only imagined you could reach.

Get Support
Once you decide what it is you want, surround yourself with people who will support you through it. I am very fortunate to have friends who were all understanding when I had to stay in to finish writing. Others insisted that I come out but let me use their computers to get my writing in first. Having good positive energy around you when you’re trying to accomplish something is really important. That’s not to say you can’t make it on your own but it’s so much sweeter when you have good people around you.

Be Open To Change
Taking on this project was eye opening in a lot of ways and not all pertaining to my writing. Having a purpose and doing something that was designed to improve my life actually did just that. As time went on and I found myself accomplishing goals with my writing I found myself accomplishing goals in the rest of my life as well. Change begets change. Once you start that ball rolling all sorts of great things can happen. Remember to keep your eyes and mind open so that you don’t miss anything. I am definitely in a better place than I was 30 days ago. I owe it all to starting something, staying positive and seeing it through to the end. I’m open to taking on whatever comes my way now and I feel like I’m more in the drivers seat of my life than I have ever been.

Believe In Yourself
This is huge. You can have a goal, get support and be ready to take on new challenges but if you’re unsure of yourself underneath it all then doubt has a foothold and can creep in and sabotage your efforts. Let that happen and you’ve only set yourself up for a less than desirable result. Despite everyone telling you how great you are and how well you’re doing you’ve got to believe it when you say it for it to count. Trust in who you are and what you’re doing and you will be unstoppable.

Put Yourself  Out There
It’s one thing to have a goal and to quietly trudge through with nothing really riding on it. It’s another to be loud and proud about it. Tell the world what you’re doing. It helps drum up support and it tends to make you a little more accountable for finishing. I made it a point to tell everyone I knew that I was doing this so that they kept tabs on me. Then I knew I wouldn’t just be letting myself down if I quit, I’d look bad in front of my friends. Saving face is a huge motivator. Never be afraid to tell people what you’re up to because you think you might not make it. Tell everyone who will listen and then keep them posted on your progress. I put my new posts on Twitter (almost) every day. It felt good to be able to say that  I was still on task.

Never Give Up
I have to admit that after a couple days there was no question in my mind that I was going to finish this thing. I felt good about what I was doing, it meant something to me and I knew that I would not accept failure. There were times when I got down to the wire and had to rush a post out (there’s the pressure I was talking about) but I was able to approach every day with nothing prepared and write something new. Quitting was never an option. If you set your mind on something that you want in your life and commit to never giving up you simply can not fail.

So this brings us to the end of the 30 in 30 series. I’m really grateful to all of you who were here with me on this little adventure. I’ll be posting again soon. I’m in a bit of a groove now and I don’t think I’ll be able to stay away for long. I want to thank all of my peeps and tweeps who supported me on this quest. A special mention to @liravaughan who acted as the inspiration for it in the first place and cheered me on throughout the month despite having her own monster project underway.

I look forward to all of the great things that the future is going to bring. I hope that you’ll all be here to share it.

Thank you all for being here. I’ll talk to you… later.
-JB
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Today’s Music: I Did It
By: Dave Matthews Band
Available on:

“Get up, stand up. Don’t give up the fight.” – Bob Marley

This is post #29 in my quest for 30 in 30.

How many times on your life have you felt like you were really making progress on a goal only to have your energy wane and your habits revert to their old ineffective ways?

I can tell you that it used to happen to me just about every time I set my mind on something. I’d start off really super strong and just when I started to make a little bit of progress I’d either loose interest or I’d let myself get distracted from my goals. This inevitably led me to falling into the same bad habits I was trying so hard to change. There are several reasons that I can now see as to why this kept happening to me. Often times the reasons would seemingly change yet still foster the same results. I had an amazing ability for making excuses. I could talk myself out of being successful with very little effort. My deamons all knew precisely how to play me to get me to avoid making any real progress in my life. I was a championship caliber procrastinator, I had an immense aversion to anything that generated pain like exercise and my flight response was about the size of a Pterodactyl. Basically if there was a way to make my life better I could find a way to avoid it.

There comes a time in every life however when you just decide that in order to get where you want to go you’ve got to do things differently. Eventually this need to improve your life becomes so powerful that you absolutely refuse to accept anything else other than the life that you envision for yourself. When that happens you’ve got to fight for it. It may seem at times like everything your doing goes against everything you know. It’s like you don’t really recognize yourself anymore. Assuming that the changes that your making are positive ones, that’s a good thing and you’ve got to keep going! You’ll want to quit at times and go back to that comfortable spot on the couch that has your butt groove firmly embossed in it. You can not give in to these impulses. The sense of security that you get from the familiarity of that couch is false. It’s not going to benefit you in any way. You’re going to keep digging that groove and before you know it years are gone.

We’ve only got one time around on this planet and we’ve got to make the most of it. So get a goal firmly set in your mind. Then fight until you’ve achieved it. Don’t let anything get in your way, especially your own discomfort. When you start to see yourself slipping off track or your energy start fading that’s then you’ve got to treat it like a matter of life and death. You can live big or you can just keep carving the butt rut in that coffin you call your couch. Every inch deeper that rut goes is another inch closer you get to the grave. How comfortable is that couch now?

Following is a clip from the 1976 film “Network”. It’s a pretty famous piece of cinema that contains Peter Finch’s rant to the people of America. In it he’s talking about the problems that the country is facing and how people need to get mad if they want to make a change. It’s a powerful powerful speech that I think Americans could stand to hear today. The message however can also be applied to life. If you want to see change in your life then you’ve got to get mad.Not just that though, you’ve got to do something about it too. You’ve got to look at yourself and become so resolute in making a change that you won’t accept anything less and then, when you finally get mad enough to make a change never ever give up the fight.

Thanks for being here. Talk to you tomorrow.
-JB
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Today’s Music: Get Up Stand Up
By: Bob Marley and the Wailers
Available on:

The Film: Network – 1976
Directed By: Sidney Lumet
Available on:

Keep on, with the force don’t stop.

Don’t stop ’til you get enough” – Michael Jackson

This is post #28 in my quest for 30 in 30.

Determination: having strong motivation to succeed. Determination is something that many lack. It’s the absence of excuses or stories. It’s the will to complete our journey. It is what drives many of us to live to our fullest potential and yet, so many of us don’t have it. Or do we?

Yesterday I wrote about everybody already having everything they need to be successful within them. Determination is no exception. Take a second to think about something that you really wanted in your life and that you did eventually get. Not necessarily a material object although that is just as useful an example, but rather a specific outcome that you wanted to see happen in your future. How did you get there? Was it by wishing really hard? Maybe you hoped it into existence? Maybe you waited it out because “if it’s meant to happen then it will”. Actually, weather you realize it or not, you made it happen through your determination. It is indeed something we all possess. I’ve heard people talk about someone else’s lack of determination before and it kind of chafes my knickers when they do. Often times others will mistake not being motivated with not being determined when the former is really the case. Most people have an abundance of determination, they’re just really selective on how to use it.

If you’re one of those people, good for you. Truly dedicating yourself to something is a big deal and you should be selective… to a point. You don’t want to be so selective about what you’re willing to strive for that you end up doing nothing. That’s one of the things to watch out for in having higher standards of living. You can easily fall into the trap of not making a move because you feel that none of the moves available ore good enough. While this may be the case from time to time, it’s not a plausible excuse for remaining stationary.

When it seems like the options aren’t cutting it, make new options. If you really want something and are determined to get it, you will find a way not only to achieve your goals, but to achieve them on your own terms. Dedicating yourself to a better way of living means never loosing site of your goal, never lowering your standards and never quitting until you’ve reached it. Determination is just what the word indicates it’s the removal of a termination. The lack of an end. Don’t let anything stop you in your quest for greatness. Be determined to see your life lived the way you always dreamed it could be. Just remember that you won’t get there just by dreaming about it. You’ve got to move and once you do, don’t stop.

Thanks for being here. Talk to you tomorrow.
-JB
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Today’s music: Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough
By: Michael Jackson
Available on:

“Baby, you’ve got what it takes” – Michael Buble

This is post #27 in my quest for 30 in 30.

Personal development. It’s a subject that so many people have something to say about. Many of us follow them in the hopes that they will provide us with the missing link to our happiness or success. We view them as having the answers that we need in order to progress in our lives. Some speakers count on this need. Some act as gurus with all of the answers that will complete you but there’s just one thing that you should know despite all of the information that someone else can throw at you. Everything that you need to be great, you already have.

When we try to better ourselves, very often we tend to think it’s because something is broken. Maybe we think that we’re missing some essential ingredient that is necessary to be great or to live an amazing life. None of this could be further from the truth. We’re not broken and nothing is missing. Everything we need to be amazing already exists inside of us. It’s who we already are. I was reading all about potential energy recently because let’s face it, physics is pretty cool. So the definition I read for potential energy was “energy stored within a system”. This is to say that all the energy that an object needs to do whatever is possible for it to do already exists inside of the object. Well, we are really nothing but objects so it would stand to reason that within us lies the potential energy to do whatever it is we want to do with our lives. We all have the potential to live the lives we dream and to do the things that we want to do. I also went on to read the following about potential energy: “According to the principle of conservation of energy, energy cannot be created or destroyed; hence this energy cannot disappear. Instead, it is stored as potential energy”.  So with that we know that we all have within us the ability to do anything we can think of and that nothing can take that away from us. We aren’t lacking anything. Nothing is missing. We are not broken or damaged in any way that could keep us from reaching our full potential. Everything we need already lies within us. We just need to make the decision to use it. We need to convert our potential energy into kinetic (energy it possesses due to it’s motion). Once we do tat the laws of nature take over and keep us moving. Eventually, we may stop again. Our momentum may dissipate and our progress may slow, but our potential for great things is always inside of us.

When you go forward reading what your personal development folks are saying or that your life coaches are teaching, try to shift the way that you perceive their message just a little. Don’t look at the message as the potential to find what’s missing. It’s not a way to fix you. Look at it more for what it is, a catalyst to get you to act on your potential. It is the proverbial fire under your ass that starts you converting your potential energy into kinetic. Believe me, sometimes a good kick in the pants is all that’s needed to make great things happen. Don’t stop listening or learning from the motivators you follow. The message and the intention is typically good. Just remember that you already have what you need. Our ability to achieve greatness is as inherent as our bodies ability to create its own heat. We’ve all got it and it can’t be taken away. We’ve just got to trust in ourselves enough to get it all moving.

Thanks for being here. Talk to you tomorrow.
-JB
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Today’s Music: Nothing Else Matters
by: Metallica
Available on:

“You can go your own way” – Fleetwood Mac

This is post #26 in my quest for 30 in 30.

Yesterday I wrote about taking a hard look at your traditions to see if they still hold any relevance in the life you live today. I emphasized how by looking at the “Who, What When, Where and Why” of your traditions you can get a really good feel for what it is you believe and why. Rather than blindly following traditions I feel it’s important to question everything and only hold on to what really works for you now.

Today I want to look at the practice of starting new traditions and reasons why you might not want to follow any real traditions at all. Today is Thanksgiving 2009. I am not spending it with family or having some big turkey feast as was the tradition that I and most other Americans have followed for as long as can be remembered. Instead, I spent the day by myself watching a football game and then eating a small raw vegan meal that in no way resembled a turkey. This evening I’m going to watch a movie about ninjas. This is quite a break from the “traditional” thanksgiving. Why the change?  Because the old tradition didn’t fit with my current lifestyle. I am indeed a raw vegan and so any meal with my traditionalist family would have been an exercise in weight management. Plus, all of my family lives in other parts of the country and I didn’t wish to travel this year. Some could call this breaking tradition but I call it being practical. There are some things that we do because we think we have to. There’s a certain expectation for us to follow along and go with the flow. I think traditions should be something that you truly believe hold value to you. For me, there was no value in the trip and no value in the food so I opted to break with tradition.

In breaking with tradition people often claim that they are starting their own traditions. I think there is a lot to be said for this. In starting to do things your own way you are finding what best works for you and the life that you lead. This should always be the main criteria for any traditions that you recognize. If it’s practical and has a purpose then you are on the right track. You can adopt new ways that don’t have to fit in with everyone else’s. The only way you’re going to truly live life according to your own rules. Live you’re way and don’t apologize for it.  Be proud of your new traditions and in knowing that it’s what’s right for you.

Of course, there is alternative to following the traditions of others or starting your own. That is to not follow any tradition at all. See, traditions are typically repeated actions that have some form of meaning that has been placed on them by us or others. Being dedicated to following tradition by definition means that you need to repeat some action or ritual. This puts you in a bit of a limiting position. If you are confined to repeating actions that you’ve made in the past you are not able to fully live in the present. As we go through our lives change happens. We change, our situations change, even our family structure changes. By committing ourselves to recognizing and repeating past traditions we are not able to acknowledge changes that occur in our life and adapt to our ever evolving world. Drop the need for tradition and you are more open to what is happening in your life right now.

I don’t need any traditions to define who I am or what I should be doing. Next year I may not be a raw vegan. I may have a different lifestyle or live in a different place and nothing then may be the same as it is now. I prefer to be prepared for any  eventuality by not limiting myself to any particular traditions. I am open to change and ready for whatever may come in the next moment. This is my freedom.

Thanks for being here. Talk to you tomorrow.
-JB
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Today’s music: Go Your Own Way
By: Fleetwood Mac
Available on:

“Tradition” – Fiddler On The Roof

This is post # 25 in my quest for 30 in 30.

Tradition can be a wonderful thing. The idea of carrying on the ideas and traditions of family or of an organization can make you feel like part of a much bigger whole. I have great great respect for tradition but I think there’s one important factor in tradition that isn’t always there but should be. I every tradition needs proper and relevant cause.

Often times in tradition we end up blindly following along with what’s been done for ages in our family or in society yet we can’t really define why it is we’re doing it. Sometimes the very reason that the tradition started in the first place has been lost and we don’t even know how it all got started. Still, we continue to follow along with the traditions because it’s, well because it’s tradition. It’s very important from time to time to take a look at some of the things that we do in the name of tradition and analyze a few things. You’ll find most of your the information you need by answering the following:

1. Who
   Who started the tradition? Was it someone from your family? An ancestor perhaps? Maybe it was some of the founding members of your community that thought it was a good thing for the town. It’s important to know just who started the tradition if it can be traced back that far. Sometimes it can’t. If not, go backas far as you can. It’s also a good excuse to learn about the history of whatever group has the tradition.
2. What
   What exactly does the tradition entail? How has it evolved, if it has at all, over the years? When analyzing the what’s of a tradition it’s a good time to start thinking about the practicality of what you’re doing.  If there’s a tradition of spending 36 hours strait in a wool knit cap in July in a small town in Texas, that might be a good time to review what your doing and see if it’s something that still holds merit (more on this in the ”Why” section).
3. When
   When did your traditions start? This can have a huge impact on today’s practicality. I heard a story once about a woman who’s tradition when cooking a turkey was to cut all of the limbs of first and cook them on the sides. When someone asked the woman why she went through this process she said she really didn’t know. It was always “just how we did it”. The question peaked her curiosity and so she called her oldest living relative and asked if she know why they always cut the limbs off the turkey first. The woman on the other end said “Oh, of course dear. It’s because when my mother started cooking thanksgiving turkeys that was the only way to make them fit in the pan that she had”. So when that family’s tradition started they had a smaller pan and couldn’t afford to buy a new one. So what was done out of necessity became a family tradition passed down through the years. Yet, even though today’s turkey pans (and turkeys for that matter) have been made larger to accommodate, the tradition is so ingrained that it survives.
4. Where
   Where did the tradition start? Take the wool knit cap in Texas in July idea for a moment. Going through that ritual doesn’t seem like the most practical idea to me and I can’t see where Texas ever had a lot of sub zero July days in its history. So, maybe a tradition like that gets started somewhere further north or in another country all together and settlers came to Texas from that colder climate where they celebrated a winter ritual in July. Knowing the details of where a tradition started is another way to take a logical look at it to seeif it’s still needed.
5. Why
   Why do we do what we do when we do it? This is really the big question when it comes to traditions. Why exactly do we feel the need to continue to wear that knit cap in 100+ degree temps every year? Why is it that we have turkey at thanksgiving or presents at Christmas. Analyze why we do what we do and when you come up with an answer see if there’s any good reason to continue doing it. You may find that you’re blindly doing what others have taught you to do for some once practical and meaningful reason. You may also find that there’s no good reason to give yourself heat stroke.

Realize, I have no problem with tradition at all. I think it can be a great unifier and in troubled times we need all the unity we can get. Still, it’s important that we are all in agreement with the traditions that we celebrate. Just coldly following along without emotion is useless especially if it’s just because “it’s what we’ve always done”. Take a  look at some of the traditions that you recognize and see if they still have a purpose in your life. If they do, celebrate your heart out. If they don’t then think of changing them. If you’re not sure, use it as an opportunity to lean more about your traditions and your heritage. As you lean about the traditions you’ll gain a your own feelings about how important they really are to you now.

Tomorrow, Part 2. Making new traditions.

Thanks for being here. Talk to you tomorrow.
-JB
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Today’s Music: Tradition
By: The cast of The Fiddler On The Roof
Available on:

“I’m gonna muster every ounce of confidence I have” – Teddy Geiger

This is post # 24 in my quest for 30 in 30.

So I had a great thing happen today. I’ve been practicing magic tricks for about 2 years now, mostly just for amusement but I had actually built a routine with a friend that we performed a few times before. I haven’t really done anything with it for quite a while and have admittedly gotten quite rusty. So another friend called me today and told me to check out an ad on Craigslist which called for people to audition for a commercial by performing card tricks. They required one trick of my choosing and one trick which they described. Luckily I already know the trick they’re asking for so I’m  figuring it will go pretty well. Later in the afternoon I got an e-mail from the casting agent with all of the information for the audition. It contained a review of the trick they wanted to see and all the when’s and where’s. What I was surprised to see was that it also included all the email addresses of the other people who would be auditioning for the same spot. This surprised me for a couple of reasons. Firstly because I was surprised they would let that information fly around, but mostly because I recognized several of the names. Remember, I was in the business for a little while so I got to know some of the performers and the people I’m auditioning against are some of the very best magicians in the city. These are people who’s sole occupation is performing magic.

Now, there might have been a day when I would have considered bowing out. Being grossly outmatched is never a comfortable place to be. Still, it took me all of about three seconds to turn it all around. What normally would have seemed like an exercise in futility now looks to me like an awesome challenge. I’m about to test my mediocre chops against some of the best in the business. See, the difference between how I see things now and how I would have lies in the standards that I’ve set for myself. When I set my standards of living I committed to living the best life I possibly can. That invariably involves taking risks but in accepting nothing but the best for myself I’ve learned to overcome any fear that may have at one time thrust me back into the arms of complacency.

Living is risky. There’s no way to live a better life if you keep doing the same things that you’ve been comfortable doing for years. You have to get outside the comfort zone and expand it. You are the Magellan and the Columbus of your life. You need to take your comfort zone and push it’s boundaries. Lay claim to new territories of your life and soon your comfort zone will become a comfort nation. Your comfort zone will be the next superpower if you just commit to never being satisfied with the status quo. When you have confidence  of that magnitude you are a sheer force of nature and nothing can standing your way.

Always be searching and discovering the new worlds that raising your standards of living will bring. Live fully, have no fear and  go out there and plant your flag in your brave new world.

Thanks for being here. Talk to you tomorrow.
-JB
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Today’s Music: For You I Will (Confidence)
By: Teddy Geiger
Available on:

“Misery loves company but she will never foot the bill” –  Bourgeois Tagg

This is post # 23 in my quest for 30 in 30.

There is a lot of pain, heartache, and unhappiness on the planet these days. With homelessness and famine, a tanking economy and surging violence it’s a wonder that anyone can have a positive outlook. Still, there are those who continue to find happiness despite all of the negativity swirling around. One of the keys to your own happiness is to bring more positive influences into your life.

In hard times it’s easy to dwell on all the things that are wrong with the world. In fact, it can seem easier at times to do so than to look for solutions.  Keeping a positive mindset in the midst of all the negativity is not always an easy thing. You’ve got media outlets that are all determined to show you all of the bad things in the world and who sensationalize violence and crime and war. There are gangster rappers and death metal bands who perpetuate their messages of hate through their music. There are medical corporations who create and spread diseases in order to create demand for cures. There is no shortage of man made problems in the world today and nobody seems to want to take responsibility for any of it. Fingers are pointed in every direction and it becomes impossible to know who to trust.

For those of us who remain optimistic and try to find the good in all people it can get pretty lonely. Since true happiness is such a rare commodity these days, when someone actually has it there is no shortage of people who want to try and take it from them. The world needs the promise of better days. Anyone who tells you differently or who tries to bring you down with their negative outlook is doing one of two things. They are either issuing a subtle cry for help or they are trying to keep you down on their level so that they don’t have to raise up to yours.  The thing to remember though is that by breaking ranks and holding the line on positive thinking you are serving more than just yourself. You serve as an example of the good life that can be lived through positive thinking. Being of service to others and helping those who have lost their way along the path is essential to turning the world around.

The Three Musketeers were known for their creed of “All for one and one for all”. Granted these were fictional characters and by “all” they meant each other but I think the message is a good one that we need to adopt more of in todays society. If we all dedicate ourselves to being positive and giving everything we’ve got in the service of anyone who needs us we will all get through the tough times together. By lifting up our neighbors we are lifting up ourselves.

Take time today to give a little. Not because you have to but because the best way to help yourself is to help someone else.

Thanks for being here. Talk to you tomorrow.
-JB
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Todays Music: I Don’t Mind At All
by: Bourgeois Tagg
Available on :

“Waiting on the world to change” -John Mayer

This is post #22 In my quest for 30 in 30.

One of the standards that I’ve set for myself is to always be a man of action. I spent a great many years waiting for good things to come my way instead of going out after them. Realizing that the time I spent waiting I could have spent living helped me to stop sitting on my hands and to get up on my feet.

From waiting for the “right time” to waiting to be sure we’re on the right path there are hundreds of excuses one can give to not take action. The problem is that they are usually just that. Excuses.

Our lives ae made up of a series of actions. From the moment we’re born to the moment we die, we are taking some form of action. Even when we sleep our bodies and minds are active. Yet actually taking intentional action is such a hard path for so many if us to follow. The reality is that it all comes down to fear.

As in so many other areas in our lives, fear had an incredibly powerful ability to control us. Given enough power we can literally live our entire lives afraid to take action because we’re afraid of the possible outcomes. Maybe we’re afraid that we’ll fail or maybe, in some cases, we’re afraid that we’ll actually succeed (see my posts on failure and success). Whatever the case may be, the fear that we allow in our lives keeps us from taking action and so we wait. We wait for conditions to be perfect, (which they never will be), we wait for just the right time (which doesn’t exist) or we wait just because we think something better may come along. The amount of time we spend waiting, for whatever reason, is time lost from our lives.

What would be the worst thing that could happen if you were to take some form of action? Is it that things might not work out exactly as you planned? Well, it should be no surprise by now that rarely does anything workout entirely as planned. There’s just simply no way for any of us to account for every possible factor in a situation. There are so many scenarios as to what can happen at a single moment that nothing in life can really be fully planned.
As far as the idea if something better goes, no reward at some future date can make up for the time lost waiting. The odds if anything great coming to your life simply by chance are rather insurmountable. True we hear stories every day about the poor sap who spent his last dollar on a lottery ticket only to win millions or the couple that finds each other in their 70′s having waited their whole lives to find one another. Yes, stories like that do happen. Luck happens. But what are you willing to sacrifice in order to wait for some sort of luck to hopefully come in at some point and save you? The truth is you’re sacrificing living and hoping for luck.

Taking action puts you back in the drivers seat of your life. Waiting for something to happen will just leave you sitting in other peoples dust. Don’t be content to keep waiting. Nothing can go wrong if you just keep moving.

I shall leave you today with a bit of prose. This is one if my favorite pieces to get my ass back in gear if I find my self waiting to long to make a move. Enjoy it and then take action.

“On the plains of hesitation lie the blackened bones of countless millions who at the dawn of victory lay down to rest, and in resting died”. -Adlai E. Stevenson

Thanks for being here. Talk to you tomorrow.
-JB
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Today’s music: Waiting On The World To Change
By: John Mayer
Available on:

“I’m talking about forgiveness” – Leona Lewis

This is post 21 in my quest for 30 in 30.

Guilt, pain, anger and shame. All very powerful negative emotions that tend to carry a lot of weight. Any one of these four feelings can completely dominate a persons life if not kept in check. At times we live our lives with a  poisonous combination in which some or all of these can be working together creating a deadly cocktail that becomes a never ending cycle. The burden created by these emotions is one that we carry begrudgingly yet can’t seem to put down. Still, relief comes in the simplest of forms. One action can relieve us of all of these feelings that we carry and that’s the act of forgiveness.

There are several ways that forgiveness can enter into our lives. Much of this depends on what we’re feeling and why. Guilt and shame typically involve a need for forgiveness from others while pain and anger usually require us to give more than get. Regardless, forgiveness is not always the easiest thing to attain. Getting forgiveness from someone else can seem like one of e scariest things in to try and get. It’s so scary in fact that we often times are scared to even think of asking for it. That’s because when you ask for forgiveness, there’s always a chance that you might not get it. Often times the mere thought of not getting the forgiveness we seek is enough to keep us from even trying. It’s like we’d rather carry our burdens indefinitely rather than take the risk. Living with guilt can be devastating to a life though. It can control your every future move. You may not feel worthy of any future success in your life because of the guilt or shame that you’re living with. Seeking forgiveness is the  solution to ending these feelings. When you confront your past demons with a sense of determination and humility and you receive the forgiveness that you seek it lifts a weight from you that can be such a powerful release that you see your entire life differently. You are once again “worthy” of having success in your life and nothing can stop you.

Equally debilitating can be the emotions of pain and anger. The solution to these feelings however is the same, forgiveness. The difference is, it’s usually you that has to give it. Going through your life feeling wounded and hurt because of something someone said or did to you is hard. Letting go of those feelings is even harder. I recently wrote about the dangers of having clutter in your life and nothing clutters up your mind like negativity. So as much as you may feel like you do, pain and anger are definitely on the list of things you don’t need  and the sooner you shed them the sooner you’ll feel the grip that they have on you loosen.  Pain and anger serve no purpose in your life and only work to limit you and your future.

So you can seek forgiveness from those you feel you’ve wronged and you can give it to those who’ve done wrong by you. That will take care of probably about 85% of any limiting emotions. The final step to get that last 15% is to be willing to forgive yourself. This one isn’t easy since we’re always our own harshest critics. Plus, guilt, pain, anger and shame have a tenedncy to feed off of each other and just keep spiraling out of control but once you remove these negative emotions you make room for so much more positive energy in your life. The more positive energy and emotion you have the better you are to yourself and to others.

Freeing yourself of all of this doesn’t mean that it’s not going to pop up again. When it does though, you’ll have a much better understanding of what life can be like without all the negativity. That makes it a lot easier to live without it all together. When these feelings arise again just remember to keep a good supply of forgiveness on hand and to keep the positive energy flowing.

Thanks for being here. Talk to you tomorrow.
-JB
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Today’s music: Forgiveness
By: Leona Lewis
Available on: