The STI Project

HSV2 – I Have Been So Fortunate – STI Interviews

Jenelle Pierce, MBA, CSE, CHES, Board President — Thu, 18 Feb 2021 19:34:33 +0000

Last Updated on February 18, 2021 by Jenelle Pierce, MBA, CSE, CHES, Board President

It’s always so refreshing to read about supportive friends and family members – people who don’t judge someone who has contracted HSV2, but instead, embrace them. Bravo to this interviewee’s support network, because they are the one’s getting it right.

Many people get diagnosed and then deal with slut-shaming, disparaging remarks from their medical practitioners, or getting ostracized from the important people in their lives. So, knowing that there are people out there who will love you, support you, and uplift you is paramount to being about to move forward. Sometimes moving forward means removing toxic people from your life, those people whose true personalities came out when you needed them most, and sometimes moving forward means helping others like you to feel accepted and supported.

The process is different for everyone, of course, but we think it’s reassuring to know that there are people out there who will encourage and embrace their loved ones, despite all of the stigma. High five to those people!

1. How old are you?

2. What do you do for a living?

I am a college student, studying political science and religion.

3. What STI/STD do you have/have you had?

I have been diagnosed with HSV2.

4. How long have you had or known you have an STI/STD?

I have known for about three months.

5. Do you know how you contracted this STI/STD?

Unfortunately, I do not.

I thought that I received it from a guy who I slept with on my birthday, and then we had kept in touch. I was always careful about using condoms with my partner, but that night there was a brief time when one was not used. ‘It only takes one time,’ has been ringing in my head ever since. Then, when I found I had HSV2, it took me a while, but I got the courage to call him, and he made it seem like he had no idea. Even though I asked him to get tested and get back to me with the results, he went AWOL, and I haven’t heard from him since.

So, I believe that it was him, but I don’t know for sure.

6. How has your life changed since you contracted an STI/STD?

My life has gone back to normal since I contracted it. Although, when I had my first outbreak, it knocked me out flat. I was so sick, had to go to the ER because I was in so much pain, and then was in bed for a month with flu-like symptoms and horrible pain.

But now I’m happy and healthy trying to emotionally get back to the spot I was in before I contracted HSV2.

7. Do the people who know you have an STI/STD treat you differently than they treated you before they knew?

I have been so fortunate, because the people that I have told have been more supportive than I could have ever imagined!

Even when my mom told my father, he called me to let me know that he would always be there. That was the hardest phone call I’ve ever received, but it was amazing to have their support and to know that they didn’t judge me or look down on me because of it.

My friends at college have also been so amazing, and they even protected me from speculation when I had to go home from being so sick during my first outbreak.

8. Are you currently under treatment for your STI/STD? If so, please share whether you have explored prescription medication, over-the-counter medication, or holistic and natural approaches.

Yes, I took Acyclovir when I was first diagnosed, but now I am on Valtrex once a day.

I haven’t had any outbreaks that have been nearlyyyy as bad as the first time… I felt like I was in the shower the whole time I was sick, trying to alleviate the pain.

9. Has having an STI/STD hindered past relationships?

I have yet to reveal to a partner that I have HSV2, and so it has not affected any relationships I’ve been in.

10. Do you have a significant other? If so, how has this STI/STD affected your partner?

As of now, I do not have a significant other.

11. Have you been sexually active with someone since contracting STI/STD whom you did not tell you had an STI?

I have yet to be sexually active with anyone since I found out, although I am nervous about telling future partners.

12. How have you changed as a result of contracting an STI/STD?

In the beginning, I was so hard on myself and angry that I let myself get into a situation like this. But now I feel like I am a much stronger person.

Having HSV2 has made me a stronger person, and even though I have this STD, it does not define who I am.

13. Why are you choosing to participate in this interview and/or is there anything else you would like to share with us?

I found this website the first week I was diagnosed, and it really got me through the toughest parts of the first outbreak, both physically and emotionally. It has been a very hard past three months, from the terrible experience at the ER, going in with what I thought was a yeast infection, to them telling me it was herpes.

I had to learn what friends I could open up to and then let them know about this life-changing situation.

I am participating because I want other people to know that it gets better, and that opening up to other people makes having it a little easier. Don’t let this define you.

This whole thing has been so scary, but learning to laugh about it makes it a little less scary. Having an STD as a young adult makes me really want to reach out to other people who have it and let them know it’s ok. Reading other people’s stories really helped me get through the beginning stages of HSV2, and I hope that I can do the same for someone else. Stay positive!

Can you relate to this interviewee? Did it help you to read someone else’s story? Have you experienced something similar or do you have some feedback to share with this individual? Share your thoughts in the comments section below!

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HSV1 Oral and Genital – Rumors Circulated – STI Interviews

Jenelle Pierce, MBA, CSE, CHES, Board President — Thu, 18 Feb 2021 19:25:37 +0000

Last Updated on February 18, 2021 by Jenelle Pierce, MBA, CSE, CHES, Board President

Having experienced how painful it can be to have your personal information circulated in a rumor, I’m thoroughly impressed by this interviewee’s resolve to move forward and remove the toxic people from her life.

Whether true or not, details about your health, your body, and your sex life are no one’s business but your own. People who spread rumors under the guise of ‘warning people’ are really just trying to harm the individual in the rumor out of spite, jealousy, insecurity, or a combination of those things.

As long as HSV1 and HSV2 are the butt of jokes among friends, on TV shows, or used as punchlines in comedy skits, people will view it as an acceptable way to shame someone. However, so many people experience a form of the herpes virus at some point in their lives, many without realizing it, that those rumors and jokes eventually become about everyone, and then they’re no longer funny or even relevant.

1. How old are you?

2. What do you do for a living?

College student

3. What STI/STD do you have/have you had?

HSV1 oral and genital

4. How long have you had or known you have an STI/STD?

Since November of 2013

5. Do you know how you contracted this STI/STD?

An ex-boyfriend who cheated and showed no symptoms

6. How has your life changed since you contracted an STI/STD?

I have had to be completely honest with my current boyfriend. Because my ex was an athlete, rumors circulated. It’s been difficult to know who is really my friend and trustworthy or if it’s someone who will just spread more rumors.

7. Do the people who know you have an STI/STD treat you differently than they treated you before they knew?

One guy tried to get my current boyfriend to break up with me because of it. I got lucky, because I found someone who loves me for me and understands its difficult for me sometimes.

8. Are you currently under treatment for your STI/STD? If so, please share whether you have explored prescription medication, over-the-counter medication, or holistic and natural approaches.

Currently, I only take medicine when I have a outbreak. Its not something I want my insurance to find out about, because my father has access to all medical records for me.

9. Has having an STI/STD hindered past relationships?

Some people have decided to stop speaking to me. The way I look at it, they were never true friends to begin with if that is how they want to treat me now.

10. Do you have a significant other? If so, how has this STI/STD affected your partner?

He was scared at first, because the rumor got to him before I felt like I needed to tell him. We were not sexually active yet because of my own precautions, but he came over and heard me out and still loves me to this day.

11. Have you been sexually active with someone since contracting STI/STD whom you did not tell you had an STI?

No.

12. How have you changed as a result of contracting an STI/STD?

I go through a lot of ‘sad moments,’ especially when something triggers memories of the person who gave it to me.

13. Why are you choosing to participate in this interview and/or is there anything else you would like to share with us?

I read about this website in Cosmo when I was having a particularly rough weekend, and I enjoyed hearing other stories, so maybe mine will help someone else like the ones I read that helped me.

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HSV2 – It Has Made Me Honest – STI Interviews

Jenelle Pierce, MBA, CSE, CHES, Board President — Thu, 18 Feb 2021 19:02:42 +0000

Last Updated on February 18, 2021 by Jenelle Pierce, MBA, CSE, CHES, Board President

Thank you, interviewee, for your honesty and candor about disclosing to past partners. It’s so important that we don’t beat ourselves up over the decisions we regret and instead, learn from those experiences.

You are not alone in having made that choice, only to regret it later, and those feelings help us to understand other people who are in similar situations. Most people have to learn things the hard way, and living with and talking about a long-term infection, like HSV2, is no exception.

Of course, the most ethical thing to do is to disclose that you have HSV2 before putting someone at risk, but that doesn’t always happen, and if we don’t recognize that that’s a common occurrence, then we can’t improve our communication. At Herpes.Education, we are interested in dismantling the stigma – the giant, complicated mess that stops us from easily disclosing our status. We want to see people become better, more communicative, more empathetic, and healthier partners, and that begins with us no longer villainizing people with herpes.

1. How old are you?

2. What do you do for a living?

Civil service

3. What STI/STD do you have/have you had?

HSV2

4. How long have you had or known you have an STI/STD?

I have had HSV2 since age 23, almost 15 years.

5. Do you know how you contracted this STI/STD?

I had unprotected sex with someone who didn’t know they had it.

6. How has your life changed since you contracted an STI/STD?

I can no longer be spontaneous or free with love.

I have had a few hard lessons in understanding and overcoming a guilty conscious. It has made me honest.

7. Do the people who know you have an STI/STD treat you differently than they treated you before they knew?

Sometimes. The only people who I tell are potential lovers. Some guys never speak to me again after I tell them. But that is why I tell them, so they have the option and the freedom to choose.

8. Are you currently under treatment for your STI/STD? If so, please share whether you have explored prescription medication, over-the-counter medication, or holistic and natural approaches.

I use Valtrex once or twice a year.

9. Has having an STI/STD hindered past relationships?

I have started a long-term sexual relationship without disclosing, only to regret it later. Partner finds it hard to trust again, understandably, and I feel terrible the whole time in between.

10. Do you have a significant other? If so, how has this STI/STD affected your partner?

I currently do not. I have had several long-term relationships, and to my knowledge, I have never passed HSV2. I have a child who is perfectly healthy as well.

11. Have you been sexually active with someone since contracting STI/STD whom you did not tell you had an STI?

I have. It has only been the past few years that I have started being completely honest with potential lovers.

12. How have you changed as a result of contracting an STI/STD?

Having HSV2 has made me have a very keen awareness of my own body. It is a nervous system disease, and I am very sensitive to the slightest change caused by external stress.

13. Why are you choosing to participate in this interview and/or is there anything else you would like to share with us?

The stigma of this is so much worse than the actual suffering. Stay positive and love yourself first and foremost.

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HSV2 – Trying to See the Positives – STI Interviews

Jenelle Pierce, MBA, CSE, CHES, Board President — Thu, 18 Feb 2021 18:51:54 +0000

Last Updated on February 18, 2021 by Jenelle Pierce, MBA, CSE, CHES, Board President

Were you judgy about people with herpes before you were diagnosed? Yup? Us too. Did you think only certain kinds of people contracted HSV? Yup? Us too. Were you sure that HSV2 wasn’t something you ever had to worry about? Yup? Us too. But we were all so wrong. And that’s ok.

This interviewee is not unlike the vast majority of us folks who were just plain ignorant about HSV before getting diagnosed. But that doesn’t make us crappy people. The measure of a person is not in what they first think but in where their mind goes next: Do they think twice? Do they correct their misconceptions or judgments? Do they seek alternative viewpoints? That secondary thought process is what sets a good person apart from a jerk.

Thank you so much, interviewee, for being honest about your process and the growth you’ve experienced since recently getting diagnosed, because we can never learn and become better, more empathetic people without first acknowledging our shortcomings.

1. How old are you?

2. What do you do for a living?

Business owner

3. What STI/STD do you have/have you had?

HSV2

4. How long have you had or known you have Herpes?4. How long have you had or known you have an STI/STD?

I’ve known instinctively for about 2 weeks, but just received the diagnosis a couple of days ago.

5. Do you know how you contracted this STI/STD?

I believe so, but I am not 100% sure.

6. How has your life changed since you contracted an STI/STD?

I think I am still in the initial shock period, however I am determined to not let this drastically change my life.

I have herpes, but that doesn’t define me.

I wasn’t expecting this news, so it hit me like a truckload and feels like my world has flipped upside down, but I am lucky this isn’t a fatal disease, and it’s something I will learn to live with.

7. Do the people who know you have an STI/STD treat you differently than they treated you before they knew?

My sisters and my Mom are the only ones who know. They have been nothing but supportive and haven’t treated me differently what so ever.

8. Are you currently under treatment for your STI/STD? If so, please share whether you have explored prescription medication, over-the-counter medication, or holistic and natural approaches.

I already take L-Lysine daily, as I’ve had cold sores almost my entire life, and I lead a healthy lifestyle so I’m hoping that will help, but I also will be taking daily medication (Valtrex).

9. Has having an STI/STD hindered past relationships?

Not so far, but I am slightly concerned about how it will affect my current relationship once we have that discussion.

10. Do you have a significant other? If so, how has this STI/STD affected your partner?

Yes, it’s quite new, as I am recently divorced. I am pretty certain that I got this from my recent partner and am hoping that he is receptive and understanding. I assume he is the type of guy that will be, but I guess you never really know.

11. Have you been sexually active with someone since contracting STI/STD whom you did not tell you had an STI?

No, haven’t been in that situation yet.

12. How have you changed as a result of contracting an STI/STD?

I feel like I’ve already changed in the past two weeks. I’m more aware of my body and feel less invincible. I thought I would NEVER be someone who would have this, and admit, I put people who had herpes in a category.

I know, after doing research and talking with my doctor, that people of all walks of life have this and the stigma that is attached to it is so inaccurate. I would like to think this isn’t going to dramatically change my life, and I am trying to look for the positives in this situation.

13. Why are you choosing to participate in this interview and/or is there anything else you would like to share with us?

After I was diagnosed, I stumbled across this site and read through a ton of these stories. I am not someone who is prone to depression or anything of the sort, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t devastated by this news. It broke my heart to hear some of the stories that I read about people who said how ashamed they are.

I hope the stigma of this diagnosis changes. I think everything happens for a reason and that this can help bring some perspective to my life and purpose.

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Herpes – So What if I Have an STD – STI Interviews

Jenelle Pierce, MBA, CSE, CHES, Board President — Thu, 18 Feb 2021 18:36:14 +0000

Last Updated on February 18, 2021 by Jenelle Pierce, MBA, CSE, CHES, Board President

We believe that advocacy can take many forms.

Not everyone needs to or should ‘come out’ publicly; that’s not necessary to be an advocate for yourself and/or others. Sometimes, just sharing your story anonymously, like this interviewee has, is all that you can do, and that’s enough. That alone takes an incredible amount of courage. Some folks will decide to tell a few close friends or family members, and others will only ever tell their partners, and that’s ok too. And then there are others who will plaster their status all over their social media profiles, because that’s how they advocate, and that’s also ok.

We want to encourage you to do what feels right for your based on your situation, your safety, and your comfort level. Disclosing to new partners is challenging enough, and if you’ve done that, you already deserve a hug and a high five. Telling anyone else, whether anonymously or directly, is just a bonus.

Thank you, interviewee, for advocating for yourself and for beginning to share your experiences with those closest to you; you are a brave warrior, and we’re so thankful for you.

1. How old are you?

2. What do you do for a living?

Currently in transition; however, I have a background in marketing.

3. What STI/STD do you have/have you had?

Herpes

4. How long have you had or known you have an STI/STD?

5 years

5. Do you know how you contracted this STI/STD?

I contracted herpes from an ex-boyfriend.

I was young and naive beyond reason, and I believed him when he said I was the only one. He believed he contracted it from his ‘ex’ girlfriend. I found out I had herpes while getting my first yearly exam. Afterwards, I called my best friend in shock and hoped and prayed that he didn’t pass it to me knowingly.

When I told him that I had herpes and that I knew for a fact I got it from him, he seemed shocked and apologized, but looking back now, I’m not sure if I believe that he didn’t know he had something.

6. How has your life changed since you contracted an STI/STD?

At first, having an STD had a huge impact on my life, but the impact was mostly emotional issues I had to overcome. For example: I felt like it was the end, like my normal dating life was over, and that I’d never be able to have a normal relationship… or that people would know and judge me.

I had had only one partner ever, and I winded up getting an STD… I felt like the joke was on me.

I stayed in the relationship with the previously mentioned ex for longer than I should have, partly, if I’m being truthful, because I thought I was damaged-goods and no one else would want me.

Now, I’m seeing this whole STD thing a bit differently. I’ve realized that, wow, the world hasn’t ended and that life does go on. I’ve had to have the difficult conversations, and yes there have been tears, but the important people who love me have stood by me and have been very supportive. Most of them forgot I even have an STD.

I’m still able to do the things I love, like: travel, kayak, and hangout with family and friends. So what if I have an STD? I’ve come to the conclusion that yes, I have herpes, but herpes does NOT define me.

7. Do the people who know you have an STI/STD treat you differently than they treated you before they knew?

Telling someone I have herpes is really hard for me, I’m not going to lie.

I just told my mom this past year, and it was emotional. It took her a week to digest it, but wouldn’t you know, she still treats me the same (other than being extra interested in my immune health…but that’s all mothers, right?). Anyone I have told has treated me the same and has been emotionally supportive.

There are still people I choose not to tell, because I’m unsure how they will react, and its honestly not any of their business… It’s not like I’m planning on being sexually active with them, but maybe one day I’ll build up the courage to tell a few more of my close friends and family. For right now, the close-knit group I have told is a step in the right direction.

8. Are you currently under treatment for your STI/STD? If so, please share whether you have explored prescription medication, over-the-counter medication, or holistic and natural approaches.

I’ve been using over-the-counter suppression medication – seems to work all right. I have begun to experiment with a few holistic and natural approaches too.

9. Has having an STI/STD hindered past relationships?

No, I was never one to date around a lot, so after I finally wised-up and left my ex, I decided to focus on me for a bit.

10. Do you have a significant other? If so, how has this STI/STD affected your partner?

Yes, I do have a significant other.

While I was taking time to focus on myself, an amazingly persistent man came into my life, or at least kept trying to be part of it. At first I was scared…scared that once he found out I had a STD he’d be MIA or treat me differently. He had already voiced what he thought about STDs, so I wasn’t very confident this was going to go well or go anywhere really. I hadn’t had much experience in the dating game, but because of my experience with contracting herpes I knew I had to tell him I had an STD. I had to give him a choice.

I battled with myself for days, and I tried to think of stories I could tell him of how I got it, or make it sound like I thought I just recently contracted it… So the night came that I told him, but I’m ashamed to say it came out as a half-truth. So he knew I had herpes, but he didn’t know the whole story. I was still too ashamed that I had herpes to share my story with him fully.

His reaction was not what I had expected. He said he wanted to explore and see where this was going and that we’d be in this thing together. I was shocked, and a few weeks later I came out and told him the whole truth, which, was also super scary, but he still accepted me and told me that he appreciated my honesty. I remember him saying that one of the reasons he was willing to put himself into a ‘risky’ relationship was because I was honest enough to let him know and give him the choice to stay or to leave.

To shorten the story, yes, herpes affects my partner. We used condoms, practiced safer sex, and we didn’t have sex while I had an outbreak, but somehow he still ended up getting herpes. It had real consequences for him, due to the nature of his job. Once he got herpes, he had to make a career change. He has never blamed me, even though I have felt awful about giving it to him. He is continuously loving and helps me realize that herpes does not mean I can’t have real, lasting, and loving relationships.

11. Have you been sexually active with someone since contracting STI/STD whom you did not tell you had an STI?

No. I did tell a half-truth, initially, but before any sexual activity, my partner knew I had an STD.

12. How have you changed as a result of contracting STI/STD?

I have gotten to the point where I realize and understand that herpes doesn’t define me. So, I still am me. I’m still enjoying life.

If anything, I have become more open-minded and realize, more so now, that you never know someone’s story. I try not to judge. Just because someone has an STI/STD, it doesn’t mean they were/are promiscuous.

13. Why are you choosing to participate in this interview and/or is there anything else you would like to share with us?

I’ve come to the realization that life goes on and that herpes does NOT define me, but I still occasionally have those ‘woe is me’ moments.

I wanted to share my story to let others know you’re not alone, and this could really be worse…like we could have something that causes brain malfunctions or an incurable disease that leads to death. Instead what we really have is an STD that has a negative stigma; most people are weary of herpes, because they don’t understand.

I want others to know: life goes on, you can date, you can find love, and that you can’t please everyone. So find and keep those people who accept you for who you are, herpes and all.

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