The Story of Lilly

Nostalgia

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 18:48:00 +0000

This time of year will always be filled with nostalgia for me.

It was four years ago this month that we received word that after 2 years of waiting

we had been matched with a baby girl in China.

Once we were given her basic information and a few photos we had 8 weeks

to prepare for travel. It was a time that is so dear to my heart.

Friends and family showed up to love and support me in ways

that still overwhelm my heart and my mind.

In China it is common for the waitresses to hold your baby while you eat.

She walked all around the restaurant with her and even out into the kitchen

so the cooks could oohh and ahhh at Lilly.

To say they love babies in China is an understatement.

In the United States we never pick up a stranger's baby.

Big No-No.

In China, they do it all the time and if they think your baby is

underdressed for the weather they don't mind letting you know.

Many buildings in China do not have central heat and they bundle their babies

in many layers. If any skin was showing on the babies they were quick to tug and pull to cover

up the exposed area. Remember...these are strangers on the street but they care about these babies.

I found it charming to no end.

I made sure Lilly was totally covered not only to protect her and keep her warm

but also as a sign of respect to the people we saw each day.

Their concern did not annoy me or make me feel judged.

It made me feel cared for.

A rural village just outside of Nanchang.

People were clearly poor in terms of money but looked rich in contentment.

I just loved all the color and aliveness of the streets in China.

I was surprised at how at home I felt there.

I was not ready to rush back home and found myself wishing for more time.

I was scolded by the store manager for taking this picture.

It doesn't matter if you speak the same language...

you KNOW when you are in trouble!

I LOVE this picture.

It really does speak 1000 words, doesn't it?

A beautiful dress we had made for our princess.

Such a good Daddy...introducing her to a food that is still her very favorite.

Watermelon!!!

Just like her mama!!!

Mommy and her little girl.

Lots of mommies and their little girls!

All women that are now my dear friends.

The blessings were greater than I had imagined.

More people to love and be loved by.

Our guide Dennis.

He chose the American name Dennis after Dennis the Menace.

This man could carry passports and birth certificates and dossiers and cash

in a backpack and make it seem like a day at the park.

Something that would turn me into a crazy person.

I would have had to check my bag 100 times to just 'make sure'

that the papers I just checked on were still there. I tend to make my

traveling companions a little nervous with all that checking

and yet they know I always have it covered.

Her first bath at home.

Home....what a word.

Lilly's first Christmas.

Any gift wrapped in paper will pale in comparison to the gift we recieved that Christmas.

I remember arriving home from China on the 16th of December

and having no presents for my older kids.

So it was off to the mall with my new baby in her carrier.

I was sitting with my mother in the food court giving Lilly her first taste of pizza when I

started to become aware of everyone around me. I saw one family in particular that really stood out.

They were still in their heavy coats, there wasn't a smile among them. The husband was grumbling at the wife and the wife was grumbling at the kids.

They were laden with bags and bags and bags.

Full of stuff.

I guarantee none of it was important or sacred in anyway.

I suspect it may have been paid for with plastic.

My thoughts were a combination of sadness, frustration and maybe a little anger.

How have we gotten so far off track?

How is it that one day I am standing in my daughter's first home...

an orphanage.

Cribs that were filled up the very same day they were emptied with

little girls leaving to go to their new and forever families.

Filled up with more babies without parents to love and protect them.

Shards of glass around barred windows.

Clothes drying over bushes because they had no clothesline.

And no heat.

And not enough food.

I don't propose that I have a solution but it sure does make me think.

What is that we could be doing that we are not doing?

How could we shop for useless things when

babies don't have food or families?

How do I inspire people to action without making them feel guilty?

So many questions....not enough answers.

But I will continue to ask and hopefully live my way into

serving this calling on my heart.

Thank You Oprah and Lisa Ling

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 17:40:00 +0000

Lilly and I getting ready to climb some very steep steps at a local State Park.

She may be more ready for this than I am!

How hard is it to move around when you weigh 34 pounds with zero fat?!?!

It looks like Lilly but it is actually a squirrel.

See what I was saying....wayyyy ahead of me!

Learning how to fly

First thought when I see this...she needs her bangs trimmed.

I really need to be better about that.

Second thought....could she be any prettier????

I think not.
After writing that just now I realize that my second thought
should have been my first thought.
Why do we do that?
Why do we see what needs to be fixed or what is wrong.
I need to work on that.

There are so many things about Lilly that I adore but this picture makes me think how she is always up for anything. She loves adventures and loves to go places and loves to stay home. She loves to take walks in the woods with the dog and she loves to come home and cozy up on the couch and have tea parties. Sometimes she wants to watch Nick Jr. for what she calls her 'kids shows' but there are times that she actually ASKS to watch Oprah. I kid you not. I love this because it shows me how deep and wise she is but also because it was one of Oprah's shows that prompted our decision to adopt Lilly. My reason for wanting to meet Oprah is not because she is famous or rich but to say Thank you.

Thank you to her and to Lisa Ling because it was Lisa's investigative report that was on Oprah that day. Those are the two people I would most like to meet. Sometimes I think back to Lisa Ling being on a plane to China with her film crew. Did she realize the full impact of what could happen as a result of doing this show? Does she have any idea the decision to do that changed the course of so many lives? I would just love to sit down with her and tell her our story and thank her.

Lilly joining our family is beyond any blessing

I could have ever imagined.

Oprah often says that God dreams a bigger dream for us than we could ever dream for ourselves.

She is so very right.

Lilly.....I love you. Being your mother is such a great joy. You bring happiness wherever you go. People are taken in by your beauty but when they take the time to talk with you they realize that your beauty radiates from the inside to the outside. You are not a surface beauty. You are deep and kind and smart and compassionate and generous and thoughtful and so funny.

Thank you Oprah.

Thank you Lisa Ling.

Thank you Children's Hope International

and thank you to Lilly's first family

and thank you to the aunties at her orphanage that cared for her before we came to China.

I keep all of you close to my heart and in my prayers.

Have you ever walked a llama?

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Thu, 13 Oct 2011 12:10:00 +0000

Llamas make me laugh. What a face.

Heidi got the llama that likes to kiss.

Getting ready for a trek. I wish I could wear Hello Kitty polka dot boots and look that cute.

Twins, brothers, clones?

Nope....father and son.

This is where we stopped and ate our snack.

We live in an area that has an abundance of waterfalls.

I always think that is so special.

This is Dawn unpacking our snacks. She and her husband John taught us so much about llamas.

I love to have fun and learn at the same time.

They are both very kind and generous and we had such a good time.

It is always so inspiring to meet people who are doing something that

they love and are passionate about.

Smile everybody.

I highly recommend visiting John and Dawn and learning about the llamas and taking a trek with them. It was unique, educational and fun.

Are you worried they will spit on you?

You will learn that they rarely do that...mostly to each other.

The llamas are timid and shy but they are not high strung.

After the trek they have a small gift shop with some beautiful photographs and unique jewelery as well as llama related items. We purchased a little llama Christmas tree ornament that Dawn's mother made from fiber from the llamas. I love to have ornaments that remind us of special times. So much more meaningful than anything you can purchase at Target.

Right? Right.

It was so enjoyable and I am so glad we made the time to do this as a family.

It is really important to set aside time to make

memories with your loved ones.

And of course take pictures.

It is the memories that sustain us when all is said and done.

You can learn more about the Bishop family and their llamas here.

Make a reservation today!

You will be glad you did!

Desk for Sale!

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Mon, 18 Jul 2011 22:25:00 +0000

$225.00

Painted a soft creamy 'enamelware blue' by Martha Stewart, drawers lined with vintage maps and waiting to find a new home. I can paint a chair to match but the stool is original to the desk and they should stay together.

I Am - Exclusive: Tom Shadyac Interview

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Sun, 15 May 2011 19:16:00 +0000

LOVE this!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Mon, 09 May 2011 14:27:00 +0000

Please hurry over here and have a feast for your eyes and then buy something lovely to make you feel pretty and sexy! Jeanne is sooooooooooooo talented. sooooooooooooo pretty. sooooooooooo sweet. soooooooo real. soooooooo inspspiring. Check it out!

St. Patrick's Day at Wegman's

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Fri, 18 Mar 2011 18:00:00 +0000

Yesterday afternoon I was getting groceries and when I walked in I noticed the sound of bagpipes. It seemed too clear and too loud to be coming from the radio. I got my cart and headed for the produce area and sure enough...this is what I see. A real live bagpipe player and to top that they were giving away samples of Irish beer. This grocery store is phenomenal. Their customer service is extraordinary. If it is raining they have people follow you out to your car holding umbrellas for you so you can get your groceries and yourself into the car and stay as dry as possible.

They have ready to eat food that surpasses most restuarants. They have excellent produce. A huge selection of just about everything. If you are looking for any type of ethnic food then just head to Wegman's.

They have a coffee shop, gelato, sushi, pasta bar, burrito bar, Chinese food, Indian food, soup, subs, pizza. If you want fresh seafood you can pick it from the case and they will cook it for you on the spot. Oh and the bread............don't even get me started on the bread......D.e.l.i.c.i.o.u.s.

Wegman's is not a grocery store it is an experience. Occasionally, I will shop somewhere else but whenever I do I am always reminded that getting groceries is actually a chore. Wegman's makes it so enjoyable.

When I think about leaving the area (which I do, frequently) I think about how much I would miss Wegmans'.

Isn't that funny? Does anyone else have a grocery store this amazing? A grocery store so wonderful that you wonder if you should move? That says alot doesn't it?

I wouldn't normally blog about groceries but seriously, how can I not?

Bagpipes, Beer and Groceries on a Thrusday afternoon?

It just feels so thoughtful, so unique and it makes me want to sing their praises.

Plus, my roots are Irish so I feel extra special....being Irish just feels so special doesn't it?

Thanks Wegman's...you are simply the best of the best.

Gator-rama

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 01:09:00 +0000

On our recent trip to Florida my in-laws took the girls and I to Gator-rama.

We had a great time and learned alot.

They have always been so good about educating our children about animals and nature.

I really appreciate that about them. When our older kids were little my mother-in-law use to take the little bug or wildflower guide outside and teach them what was what. They were always all ears and loved spending this time with Grandma. She chose teaching for her career and it was a great fit because she has always been a teacher at heart.

Now....look at the face of the man about to hand me the alligator.....that is the look of a man who is about to scare someone. And that he did....just as he placed the alligator into my hands he jumped and made a big 'rah' sound and of course I jumped out of my skin.

I told him later that it was too bad my husband and teenage sons missed that moment because they love to scare me. He said that he tries to scare one person like that every day and today was my day.

Lucky me.

Thank God for tape....they are not slimy....they are very solid feeling and kind of dry....

and smooth and rough at the same time.

Lilly was feeling uncertain.....

Feeling proud of herself.

She was also feeling grateful for the tape on his mouth right about now.

Even big sister Heidi decided to join in the fun.

Stay tuned for more photos and stories of our adventures in the sunshine state!

Family and Friends

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Fri, 18 Feb 2011 13:33:00 +0000

I am one of 26 cousins....here I am with two of them.

This is Evelyn Mae. Her father is my cousin Justin. He is on my right in the above picture.

Uncle Bill (my Dad's brother), Aunt Mary and their first grandchild....Evelyn.

Grandma Lettie (Aunt Mary's mother) She is 90 years old and going strong.

Last January she lost her husband of 68 years.

Can you imagine???

I am proud of 21 years but apparently I have a ways to go!

This is Phyllis, she is dating my father and she is so kind and generous.

Exactly who I would pick for my father.

She loved Lilly and here she is being taught how to play Uno by a 4 year old.

It has been so wonderful to see my family while traveling.

We went out for Mexican food on Saturday night and it was delicious.

We were amazed that after fajitas for 8 people, two margaritas and 5 glasses of wine the bill was only $69.00. With a tip it was just over $10.00 per person. That is a bargain in today's world!

Lilly mangaged to rope lots of people into playing Uno. She wins more often than not.

She even has her stuffed dog..."Frank" play too and then she plays two hands while everyone else plays one.

I am fearful that my 4 year old may be smarter than her mother.

On Sunday we were invited to Uncle Bill and Aunt Mary's house for a BBQ.

My cousins Justin and Matthew were there. Justin is married to Mandy and they have a little girl named Evelyn. She is so beautiful and so sweet. Justin is a wonderful father and of course it goes without saying that my Aunt and Uncle are over the top happy with their new grandaughter.

They are are a wonderful family and being with them makes me miss them more.

I realized that if we lived closer we would spend more time together. Justin played Uno with Lilly and everyone taught her how to play Go Fish. These are relatives that I have only seen once a year (sometimes not even that) so we don't get chances to spend extended time together.

They were so good to us and so kind and gentle with Lilly it made me see that we would be even closer if the miles didn't seperate us. I really enjoyed our time.

Thanks Uncle Bill and Aunt Mary..I love you both.

We stayed those two nights with the woman my father is dating. Her name is Phyllis and she is so wonderful.

She is exactly who I would pick for my father if I could. She was wonderful with Lilly. She is a family oriented person and very easy to be around. I thought about how the upside of your parents being divorced is that there are more people who love you and more people for you to love.

More people who love my children is a blessing for all of us.

Stay Tuned !

The Beginning

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 15:01:00 +0000

Listening to Sugarland

This is always so nice to see....who doesn't smile at a place called the Sunshine State???

Lilly picking her first orange

A little help from Dad Dad

I love how intent she is on what he is telling her

Our first orange eaten right from the tree....it doesn't get better than that!!!

So here we are at Day #6 since we left home. We have actually fit in quite a bit.

We drove all day Thursday and then spent the night in Fredricksburg, Virginia.

A very nice hotel with an Olive Garden right next door.

We had dinner there and turned in pretty early to get rested for another day of driving.

On Friday we made it to Florida and stayed overnight in Jacksonville. This time we ordered pizza in and just relaxed and again went to bed early. On Saturday we made our way to my Dad's friends house. They live in

Tavares which is just north of Orlando. They live on a lake with cypress trees and orange trees and grapefruit trees and of course the dreaded fire ants! I forgot to ask about alligators and look how close we are to that water. Do you ever get scared in retrospect??? Kind of a strange sensation isn't it???

Knowing my father the way that I do I can't imagine we would be in any danger, he is the King of Safety.

After our snack and a quick visit with my Dad's friend Helen we traveled on to Tarpon Springs.

I will post the pictures of that leg or our journey later today or tomorrow....but for now we are off to the library with Lisa and her sister Jody. Then some lunch and then some more relaxing. I am beginning to rest way down deep inside of myself. It feels very healing.

Here's what I think....

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Thu, 20 Jan 2011 18:38:00 +0000

If you haven't read my previous post about my recurring dream from childhood then please read that first or this will make zero sense to you. It may make zero sense anyway.....but here I go.....

I have thought about this dream many times and usually come up with similar thoughts. My husband thinks the rock and the daisy represent that things are not always what they seem. I wish it was a bit more profound than that but I guess simple truths are just that...simple.

Because I have to use ALOT more words to explain something than my husband I will now share my spin on this........First let me say I am obviously analyzing the dream some 30 years later and I have the gift of experience which I can hold up next to the dream. That helps makes sense out of something that baffled me as a child. I believe the dream was filled with teaching for me and it really means something to me that I still remember it so vividly more than three decades later.

I think the daisy is all of the times when I put so much effort forth for something that I was not supposed to be doing. I think effort is the killer of inspiration. I am not talking about hard work or not doing things. I just mean that place we all get to when we are trying so hard to force something and it just isn't working. Sometimes our personal desire overrides a higher wisdom. We need to pause when something that looks like it should be so easy is not easy at all. Take a deep breath. Take a walk. Take a vacation. Get away from the thing and get some perspective. The daisy might not want to be picked or may not be ready to be picked. Or maybe it isn't 'your' daisy. The very same daisy may be effortlessly picked by another.

Then there is that big old rock that lifts like a feather.......same idea here for me....I think that we are meant to do certain things in this lifetime. Anointed for a certain something that is ours and ours alone (alone=with God) to do. It may be hard, it may be BIG, but it is ours and when we align ourselves with this greater plan then no matter how big or hard the task it will flow easily. It may be hard work, we may have to get up early and stay up late but it will feel effortless. We will be amazed that we can do this thing. We will wonder where we got the strength. It might surprise or shock others and yet because we took the time to try the impossible we will be led from one thing to the next. I believe this is what God was trying to tell me with this dream.

And what about my family and friends who couldn't recognize me......that one is tough. I can still feel the fear in that moment. The aloneness. The confusion. What I think it means is that those closest to me may not always understand or 'see' me but I must stay with what I know to be true for me and my life. It is also true that I may not understand or 'see' them. The vacant and empty look may have been more about them following the path that they needed to. I realize now that it doesn't really mean I am alone or abandoned. It is more symbolic than anything. I think it means I have to follow the rhythm of my own life and so does everyone that I love. Sometimes this may make us feel invisble towards each other.
We may feel alone but we are never, truly alone.
That is just a lie we tell ourselves.

If God had spoken in words instead of images it may have sounded something like this:

"My Dearest and Beloved Kimberly,

I have great plans for you. They are yours and yours alone. Don't go for what appears to be easy. Go for the impossible and I will make it possible. Go to the mountain. Believe in yourself. Believe in me. I will move that mountain. You may have to bring a shovel. It may take alot of work but it won't feel like work. It will be easy and you will be in ME and I will be in YOU. Those closest to you may not see you or understand you. Learn to be ok with that. Just love them and let them love you. We all see what we choose to see. Please be the Kimberly that I made you to be and know that I see you. Do not try to convince others of your worth or of your dreams. Believe you have something to offer and offer it. I will be right here. ALWAYS and ALL WAYS."

I have only shared this dream with a handful of people over the years. I always knew it mattered. I always knew there was important information for me to learn and apply to my life. It is only in the decision to share it with a bigger audience that I am really seeing it for what it was. It is in the writing of it that I have gotten more clarity and that is why I return again and again to this blog. You remind me that I am not alone. You help me make sense of life....and to share my stories and to know that somewhere it impacts even just one other person is a great joy for me.
Now...go out and do that thing that ONLY you can do.
xoxo

The Rock and the Daisy

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Wed, 19 Jan 2011 04:54:00 +0000

When I was a little girl I had a recurring dream that I still think about today. I cannot remember the last time I had the dream but I remember every vivid detail.

In the dream I was walking along a dirt road, if I had to guess an age I would say somewhere between 6 and 9. I was calm and content and the air was warm and the sun was shining. As I walked I noticed a daisy growing next to a big rock. When I got close enough I bent to pick the daisy and it was impossible. It felt like it weighed 10 tons. There was no way I could lift this daisy no matter how I tried. I don't know why I decided to try and lift the rock but I did. Much to my surprise I was able to lift it instantly and it was light as a feather. This was very disorienting and I wanted to tell somebody about it right away. I looked up and all of my family and all of many of my friends were coming around a 90 degree turn in the road up ahead. I hurried towards them excited and even a bit scared about what had just happened. I wanted somebody to explain it to me and help it make sense.

As I got closer to them I noticed they were all walking in a very robotic manner and the look on their faces was vacant and disturbing. I was waving my arms and making a commotion trying to get them to notice me. I was calling their names and jumping up and down and they just kept walking, never speaking a word or giving me any eye contact. They walked right past me and kept on going, never looking back. I stared at them walking away from me for just a short while. I remember feeling so scared and alone and wondering what would I do , where would I go...where would I be safe.

When I was walking along the road towards the rock and the daisy the road was clear on both sides with big open fields, lots of green but no trees. Now that I was at this bend in the road it was deeply wooded on my right and as far as I could see up the road. I began to walk alone in the opposite direction of my 'people'.

Then I woke up.

I had this same exact dream many, many times.

What do you think?

Tomorrow I will tell you some of my thoughts.

Strange.

Very, very strange.

Birthday Joy

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Tue, 18 Jan 2011 13:33:00 +0000

I love this picture.....

The bangs that need trimming, the cupcake madness, the plastic princess earrings...

Turning 4 in style!

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 15:46:00 +0000

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience,

but where he stands in times of
challenge and controversy."
Martin Luther King Jr.

Lilly's 4th Birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 01:00:00 +0000

Making the wish...if you close your eyes it comes true faster.

The Queen opening her presents.

It was decided earlier that she skipped right over the title of princess and went straight to Queen.

Should I be worried?

Family

(notice the vintage stove in the foreground....love that thing!)

Working on her painted tea set.

Apparently it helps when you stick your tounge out.

A very cold walk.

Watching Horton Hears a Who with Daddy.

Lilly turned 4 today...so hard to believe that much time has passed us by already.

And the question always ringing in our ears is "what did we ever do without Lilly?"

She is funny and compassionate.

Sweet and sassy.

Tender and tough.

Beautiful.

Smart.

Kind.

This day can never come without my thoughts going to Lilly's birth parents, especially her mother.

How could it be that 4 years ago today a woman gave birth to a little baby on the other side of the world.

And how could it be that we sat waiting for that very same little girl.

Every twist in the road. Every delay...ours or the government's or the postal system's.

Each day that I didn't work on the paper work to proceed with the adoption.

The promise from our agency that it would be 5-7 months after we turned in our paperwork before we were matched with a baby and then 7 months became 8 months became 9 months and ulitmately

became 2 long years.

It occurs to me to be so grateful for every perfect moment to bring us to this one sweet girl...our daughter.

My prayers go out to comfort the heart of a woman I will most likely never meet but lives in my heart always.

Thank you to Lilly's birth mother...thankyou for doing what must have broken your own heart in two.

Thank you for the greatest gift we have ever received.

Your courage amazes me. Your sadness lives in me.

I honor you. And our daughter is thriving...equal parts nature and nurture.

Perfectly herself.

Happy Birthday sweet, sweet girl......Lilly Marguerite KeXiu Stairs

What would we do without you?

Christmas Day

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 19:44:00 +0000

My favorite Christmas tree in a long, long time.

I even used tinsel. Tacky? Maybe, but it made me happy.

That's the main thing, right?

Our sweet Belle, minding the tree on Christmas Eve...something she has done for 14 years.

I have a feeling this could be the last.

What a gift she has been.

Pretty even without bows and ribbons.

Some year the paper has to stand on it's own.

Ya' know?

The Lilly Bean....waiting patiently for her gifts.

My dad passes out the gifts one by one so we all get to enjoy each other's gifts instead of ripping and tearing into things. I love taking our time to enjoy the whole thing. The wrapping, the thought behind the gift, the look on someone's face when they love their present and the look on the face of the person who

was so excited to give it.

All of it precious.

This year, no matter how much we tried to explain the gift tag and the whole to and from thing...Lilly was convinced every single gift was from my Dad which the kids call Dad Dad.

So, every time she opened something she would say..."Thank you Dad Dad." The first several times we corrected her...after that we just laughed! That's where 'remember the time' stories come from!

This coat deserves a post all it's own so I won't elaborate here....just suffice it to say it is adorable and she looks like a princess in it AND it was only $10. Seriously! One of those "you can't NOT buy it" situations.

More on the coat another day. I am thinking fresh snow, a walk with Lilly and my camera.

It's that cute.

Christmas Day was calm and peaceful which was just want I wanted and needed.

I wrapped presents on Christmas Eve, which I try never to do but this year it felt easy and I was still in bed by midnight. My father came in the morning and played Santa. We made a nice breakfast and then opened gifts. We went to my mother's for lunch and more gifts and then onto Scott's parents for dinner and presents. It seems like alot of running but so much less then we use to do. We were home by 8pm and I was asleep about 8:12. So much for watching Avatar...which I really wanted to watch as a family. Lately watching things as a family really means my kids watch it while I sleep. Am I getting old?

So it was a quiet Christmas and with all the changes in my life right now that was just perfect.

Maybe I will talk about changes in the next post.

For now I must focus on laundry and the dreaded job of returning ornaments to

their storage boxes for the next 11 months.

There are certain jobs I really can't stand and that is one of them.

Another would be cleaning out the place you use to live. Yuck.

But...it has to be done and I have the promise of my friend

Roberta making dinner for me tonight with our good friend Metta joining

in and I work well with a reward waiting for me on the other side.

Who doesn't?

The Tree

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 23:21:00 +0000

I love this picture.......

and....I love Moore's Tree Farm...we have been going here since Heidi was the age Lilly is now.

They are so nice there and have thought of every detail to make the experience easy and enjoyable.

Lilly takes the "I can do it myself" attitude to a whole new level.

This tree was H.E.A.V.Y.

Time to shake the needles and wrap the tree....all included in the price of the tree.

Now that you have seen the Halloween costume and the tree search I can share Christmas Day before New Years Day.........IF I remember where I put the cord to my camera to upload the pictures.

I vow to create a system for all of the cords in my life for 2011.

This is no easy task....6 cell phones, camera, laptops, video cameras......

Wait...do you hear that???

I think it is the sound of my Grandmother laughing at me.

Halloween before Christmas

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Wed, 29 Dec 2010 13:25:00 +0000

I have missed this blog. I have missed writing everyday. I have missed sharing my life with those I know and those I don't. I have missed taking lots of pictures. I can't go back and share every little moment since I stopped blogging regularly but I thought it was important to show off my Halloween Dragonfly before I share about our Christmas celebration. Isn't she adorable????? She is so joyful and excited about everything and it makes our lives so rich and delightful. Thank you Lilly for being perfectly you.

I am having a lightbulb moment about my life right now and it is exciting, a little shocking and yet....so incredibly comforting.

There are reasons I have been away and reasons why I am back. I may share those reasons at a later date but for now just know that......

I AM BACK AND I AM HERE TO STAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feeling nostalgic

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 20:55:00 +0000

Nostalgia is a funny thing isn' t it? Of course I don't want to really go back because that would mean I wouldn't have had the blessing of being Lilly's mom for the past three years but sometimes I long for those precious moments and I wish I could repeat them just one more time. Flying so far from all that we know and love...including our three children, stepping off a bus and into a hotel feeling like my head would spin right off, meeting the other families who were adopting at the same time, going to such ancient places as the Forbidden City and The Great Wall......and then.......being handed THE most precious gift. Our daughter. It was a moment that took our breath away and still does when we recall that moment. It is beyond description. I find myself at a loss to describe it in a way that anyone would really understand. I am so blessed. So blessed. I know we have another daughter out there and I pray for way to be made.

Lilly wants to name her sister Daisy. My big kids think it would be weird to have all their little sisters named after flowers. I personally think it is adorable. Lilly is pretty good at getting what she wants so Daisy it is!

Uncle Tom

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Wed, 06 Oct 2010 19:47:00 +0000

I miss you Uncle Tom.

So much.

When my heart can bear it I will share with you about this great man.

Kimberly

Dear Readers.....I have missed you!

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 20:35:00 +0000

I have been busier than ever but I think about sitting down to write each and every day and then somehow that winds up at the bottom of the list each evening. I could write a lot about what I have been up to lately but I will save that for another time and the new blog......more on that later! What feels important today is to share a conversation I had with Sharlyn this morning.

The topic was listening.

Reverential listening.

Sharlyn has a friend in a deep crisis.....a serious turning point......a major life choice. The kind of choice that no person would ever want to be faced with. I can't share the details but what I can say is that this situation led her to share deeply with Sharlyn last night about her grief. Her grief is deep and on some level will be life long. I imagine that some peace will come in stops and starts but still the pain will linger deep in her heart until her very last breath. So the important lesson that I feel compelled to share is that Sharlyn and I have been talking a lot lately about reverential listening. What it is, how to be better at it, the importance of it.....so many times when others are talking we are formulating what we are going to say next and although we might be hearing we aren't truly listening. Do you know what I am talking about? Of course you do. I want people to always feel that I am deeply listening to them from a place that is not trying to respond instantly with the next clever thing to say but rather from a place that is calm, centered and sacred.

Sharlyn found that last night the only way she could really respond to her friend's grief was through this kind of listening. There was no rushing to fix it. Because she can't. There was no crafty combination of words to cheer her up or ease the pain or offer a glimmer of hope. There was just two ears allowing the words to gently float in and sit and rest.

This is not easy when we love someone and we want to ease their pain. It is hard to sit in the fire with a friend and ignore the desire to throw a bucket of water on it. It is a spiritual practice to just be with anger. Be with pain. Be with heartache. Be with grief. To sit still and let the chaos swirl around us and not rush in with word, thought or action to fix it when there truly is no fix.

Join me in this if you will........deeply listening to one another. With reverent attention. With hearts wide open. With love.
Till next time.....
Kimberly

I love old things.....

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 14:46:00 +0000

I was at my mother-in-laws for dinner one night last fall and mentioned that

I would like an old rotary dial phone.

Preferrably a light blue....who knew she would walk out to the back room and hand me this exact phone.

Somebody gave it to my father-in-law and he brought it home. When I asked why he gave it to him she said she didn't know. He is a bit of a hoarder so I guess people just give him random things.

Whatever the reason I am now the proud owner of this phone and here is what I can tell you about it.

It makes me talk less and really focus on the person I am speaking with.

I can't wash dishes. I can't reach the computer. I can't take a bath or take care of other bathroom duties.

I can't take the dog out or drive the car.

It doesn't fit in my pocket.

It makes me slow down.

It makes me listen deeper.

It makes me spend less time on the phone.

You only want to be connected to that cord for so long.

It's good.

Very good.

I think our world is just too much sometimes.

Kids dying because they are reading or typing a text and get in an accident.

There is no reason for this.

Just because we can talk in the car doesn't mean we should.

I am working hard at making my car a no phone zone.

What happened to the days when we did one thing at a time.

I long to create a more simple life.

To eat vegetables I grow.

To make jam with berries I pick.

To just sit and talk on the phone for 15 minutes and really listen to the person on the other end.

How about you?

On another note:

If you wondered where I disappeared to....................

I happened to leave my laptop in a precarious spot and it happened to take a tumble and then it had to go spend some time with the nice people at Geek Squad. Then I lost the diamond in my wedding ring - a week before our 20th wedding anniversary. Then Scott hit a deer and came about $500 shy of totaling the car. Heidi and Lilly and I were in the car and it was pretty scary. So grateful we are fine. I also found out some disturbing news about somebody that had been a lifelong friend. Then my teenager made some very bad choices. All the while I painted nearly every single day since February 12 at our new house which is getting very close to being ready for us to move in!!!!!! So that is the very short version of the very long story of why I have not shared on the blog in several weeks.

I have not forgotten you.

Not a chance.

Stay tuned for a visual tour of my dream home in progress....

Drink Pepsi

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 18:50:00 +0000

Is it possible to have decorating overload?

Is it possible to to have a newly discovered but very serious disease called decorating ADD?

Is it possible to paint your new living room for the third time?

Is it possible that spring is right around the corner?

Yes, all of this is true. I have not forgotten this little blog
or my readers.

I have just been 6 foot up on a ladder with a roller in one hand and a cup of chai in the other.

Either that or sound asleep. Those are pretty much my two speeds right now. In between those
two options you might be able to spot me at Lowe's.

We actually hung up the first thing at the new house yesterday.
A vintage pepsi sign from an old cafe'/deli that I loved called Sadie D's
.
I use to love this sandwich she served called 'Apple of My Eye'. Multi grain bread, mustard, thinly sliced smoked turkey, Granny Smith apple and cheddar cheese with a little lettuce too.
YUM.

I drooled over this old Pepsi sign many a time.
One day the cafe' closed. I was sad.
I wondered about the Pepsi sign.
Where did it go?
I wanted it.
In time I moved on and let it go and actually forgot about it.
Until................driving to town one day there was a big yard sale with stuff everywhere.
The kind where you almost get in an accident because you are rubbernecking to
see if you should stop or not.
You know what I'm talking about.
that I spotted it..............................THE PEPSI SIGN.
I screamed so loud that I scared my husband. I stopped so quickly I nearly snapped his neck.
Good thing he loves me.
And good thing he had $175 dollars tucked away in his wallet and parted with it so I could have this:

That was right before we started building our new house (FOUR years ago!) I had it stored out in the garage thinking it wouldn't be long until we could hang it up in our beautiful new kitchen. After about a year I hauled it into our current house and hung it up in the dining room. Partly because I wanted to look at it and partly because I wanted it to motivate me to dream that the new house really would happen.

Last night we took it off the wall, took it to the new house and

HUNG IT UP IN THE KITCHEN!!!!!!

See the top of that bench below the sign? I purchased that before we even broke ground too.

I fell in love with it at a local antique store and because we had the blueprints I was able to take measurements and see that it would fit just where I had envisioned it,

I bought it and it hung out in the garage with the Pepsi sign too.

When I hauled the Pepsi sign in the bench came with it.

They just go together.

And now they are at the new house just waiting on us to finish the painting.

Install a toilet or two, create a makeshift kitchen, clean the floors and move the beds,

the dishes, the dogs, the cats, the clothes and ourselves.

It won't be long.....2-3 weeks maybe.....

Can you believe it?

It is time. It is the perfect time.

Stay tuned...

LOTS more photos coming soooooooon.

Promise.

xo Kimberly

p.s. The photo is of our old house....wait till you see it in it's new home against a 50's vintage bluish/greenish/tuquoiseish color. A little darker than I usually paint but it works!

Stay tuned....I won't stay away so long this time so check back soon.

I'm. Still. Here.

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 21:22:00 +0000

This would have been day 13 of painting at the new house...IF I had actually gone there to paint.

Can you say meltdown?

I just couldn't get it together today to do anything. I can't seem to write three checks

and put them in envelopes with stamps and drive to the post office. I can't seem to tackle the dishes,

the laundry, the vacuum, the dinner. I can't seem to get the laptop off my lap.

I can't seem to stop drinking hot organic chai with creamy 1/2 and 1/2.

I can't seem to clear my mind.

Can you say overwhelm?

I am trying to be okay with just being still but this house is a mess and the new house isn't done and dreams are coming true very quickly. I didn't know that it was going to this hard.

It is tempting to think that you will suddenly be a different person when you are living your dreams.

But, NOPE....you are still just you.

I haven't forgotten about the happiness report...but today is not the day.

Stick with me tho, okay?

I'll be back with happy thoughts and pictures too.

Happiness Report coming SOON!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Kimberly) — Thu, 11 Feb 2010 15:13:00 +0000

I'm here.

I'm happy.

I'm hopeful.

I can feel the magic brewing.

I have decided to share my full happiness report after 48 hours instead of 24.

That would be tomorrow....sometime....who knows I might just shoot for a full 72 hours of happiness.

Watch out people, she's on a roll.....

But for right now I am knee deep in paint samples.

Maybe some people want a blue kitchen and they just go to the store and

choose 3 or 4 samples and pick from those.

NOT ME.

Not a chance. I have to pick around 50 (at least).

Then I have to see them in the day light, the natural light, candle light, night light.

Then I have to buy a small sample and paint it

on the wall to be sure.

You have to be sure.

It's a feeling I'm going for.

In this case I have painted huge leftover pieces of sheetrock and put them in the rooms

that may be painted that color.

It may be a sickness. I'm not sure but I KNOW I am not alone.

I find that comforting.

I have so much to say about happiness so please come back

very soon and I will tell you everything.