The struggle of a man

the things people do for love

2011-03-16T06:17:00.000-07:00

Finally realizing after another Valentines day that a box of chocolates or a heart shaped necklace or a faulty pregnancy test doesn't get the girl of your dreams I just don't know what men could possibly to do make a women happy. I understand that women are very tough creatures to make happy but men bust their ass to try and make them happy. I saw so many of my friends get stuff for the girlfriends/wives. fiances and what not.... the women's reactions were more fake then their hellos to girls they don't like. "OHH hunny this is exactly what I wanted." "Sweetheart are you a mind reader (slowly turn and roll eyes)" "Baby I've always wanted a X Box!" I truly think that if women would just be honest things would go much smoother. You don't have to say, "I hate this" or anything like that but it would be nice to just hear the truth sometimes. Because in truth there is love. Oh honey I wasn't really expecting this but I know you tried hard to get me a perfect gift.
This leads me to the real problem at hand. LADIES! If you want a particular thing for Valentines Day, your birthday, christmas, Channukah, or any other crazy holiday then just tell us. We will get it for you i promise (as long as it's not the size of the ring Kobe bought for his wife, and by buying that... buying back her love and affectiong). Men don't know what to get you. It does reflect that they don't listen. But if you are dropping little hints to them they aren't going to pick it up. You gotta just say.... THAT WOULD BE AN UNFUCKING BELIEVABLE GIFT FOR VALENTINES DAY! We do not pick up on the small stuff. I know you think we are clueless and it is not that at all, it's just the fact that when it comes to shopping for girls we don't want to get you clothes because some guys don't have style or know your size and dont want to ask you because they want it to be a surprise. And ear rings? Really? Come on... that is nearly impossible unless you're with him. If you just open up and help us out a little i know you will be happier with the gift giving process. Men hate to shop, tell them what you want so you get at least one thing that you are going to be happy you're getting and then let him get you something stupid from the dollar store that he was going to get you anyway. Which are just funny presents that are an inside joke to both of you and I think those are the best presents. We try, and we try.... we just can't do it on our own... please.... help us. And help us wake up, remind us to put the toilet seat down, do the dishes after we use them, light a match after using the bathroom, and other small things that we always forget. I think if this process is followed then we could lower the divorce rate from 50% to 48.8%.... and that's a lot of people, all because of communication.

The Love Doctor,
Joey Paull

P.S-
Caine, you were right I didn't get with anyone at the wedding.

Charlie Sheen

2011-03-02T13:41:00.000-08:00

   I do not think that the name of my blog could be any better for the subject I am taking on today. A man, they say, born with tiger's blood and the DNA of Adonis: A man some call CHARLIE SHEEN. He has had nicknames in his past movies which were all SOLID GOLD movies, the one I feel is the most fitting would have to be Wild Thing, and Wild Thing.... I would just like to say... I think I love you (even more now).
   His children were just recently taken away from him today, I suppose Child Services may have seen one of his 30 interviews. All saying the same thing, he is not man...... he is immortal. These interviews have definitely enlightened me to information regarding Charlie Sheen. I had no idea he was even a rock star, let alone a rock star from Mars. They tried to keep him in Area 51 after his landing about 65 years ago I am told but they could not hold him due to his immense strength and talent of seduction.
   Charlie has had drug problems in the "past" and from his interviews you can tell that he is doing much much much better these days. I am ashamed that we live in a world where Child Services could take children away from such an amazing man, father, actor, tiger blood holder, Goddess attracter, Rick Vaughn and on top of everything else.... an amazing orator. He has spoken so beautifully and without repetition in these interviews. And the lighting in which he was shown in, well that just shows you that he could not possibly have anything wrong with him. He looks as good as any homeless male prostitute could ever look. He has recently, since these incidents, been offered roles in Charlie's Song, The new E.T (in which he will play the ever loving extra terrestrial, of course this is because of his knowledge of the universe), and... most impressively he has been given the role of Jesus in The Passion of Christ 2. Mel Gibson loves Charlie Sheens acting ability and I am told they feel the same way about the Jewish community, they love them.
   In all seriousness though, Charlie did bring up some good points... AA does only have a 5% success rate.... wait did I say points? I meant point, he brought up a good point. Sure, that point he brought up didn't really help anything nor did it hurt. It was just his explanation of why he had his own little "Happy Valley Lodge" Sober living rehab at his house (in Malibu). I do not think this will kill his career as much as Mel Gibson's outrageous tapes killed his. Though I do think he might have trouble striking a job for a little bit. Unless the job requires someone with Tiger blood, then he is perfect for it. Charlie is going through a tragic time right now and I have always loved him. Hearing his crazy stories of the parties he had thrown at his house and how his cars were driven off a cliff during one of these parties and he has no idea how that happened, He's just always been so entertaining to me.
   There is one word he keeps on using that truly describes the downfall of Rick Vaughn, and that word is "Epic." At this point, last time I checked, he was winning and the scoreboard doesn't lie. Well, I wish you the best Charlie. Keep on winning, because you need to win over a lot of judges, jurors and everyone in Hollywood. I know you can Charlie, you are... not only a genius in your words but also maybe the next Einstein (or Darren Daulton). It's all about the W Charlie, keep it up, because we love every second of it.

At a Family Member's Wedding

2011-03-02T11:07:00.000-08:00

So.... the question is posed, "Does a man whose cousin Christopher is getting married on Friday dare to go after one of the bridesmaids? Or should he just stick to other people in the wedding" I do not see the problem in getting with a bridesmaid that is not in a relationship. Because as we all know from Wedding Crashers it is rather easy. They all want to have a man that will take care of them because they just saw their friend get married and how beautiful the whole process was from the day they started dating up until the wedding. I.... do not know if it is out of line to take "advantage" of emotions, but if "emotions" were not taken advantage of then no one would ever get laid. Sorry to be so blunt. As you all know I am an incredible dancer if you have been keeping up with the blogs and that is an automatic in, no pun intended. So, will it be disrespectful if I get with one of the bridesmaids? And this is what I have come up with.

1- No

So after a long arduous thought process I have decided that many of the single bridesmaids are going into this wedding the same way I am. They are thinking, at the end of the night I would love to have someone to "snuggle" with. But the real question is, how many OTHER good looking girls will be there? Because if I can stay away from the drama of getting with a bridesmaid then I will, not a confrontational guy (bullshit). But after they see my talent in dancing and me sheer comic genius I am a definite in for someone. But, and this is a big but! I sweat like a black guy at a kkk meeting. So after dancing all night and sweating through my suit, unless I can take a shower before "things go down" I think I might have to pass. Because I understand that it is sexy while in the process of making love to sweat but I don't think there is anything sexy about making love to someone who has been sweating for 4 hours unstoppably. And if a girl thinks that isn't a problem I should probably stay away from her and that thing on her lip anyway because she's gross. So.... in my final tally... weddings, although fun and such happy events lead you to think of way more things then you want too. Like the fact I am not married yet, and my life is not progressing as I would wish... and so forth. This glorious occasion will be fantastic while it is going on, but will lead to depression for one's own self in the following days afterward. I know that is probably selfish but I am so happy for My cousin and his beautiful bride, I am just not looking forward to the next week of depression that will follow.... and the only thing I can think of that will make it better is a great story about how I got laid by the aunt of someone in someone's family that I know so I can blog about it. God that would be great. Unfortunately, I know all the aunt's, and if I blog about getting with one of them, just know I am a disgusting human being.

Dumb People

2011-02-24T09:22:00.001-08:00

Here’s the thing. If you are driving down the road and notice that someone has the door of their car open, there is no need for you to lean on your horn. Especially when the whole other lane is wide open. All you have to do is turn your wheel a little bit and take that lane around the 2 feet that you can not pass. And while you are just leaning on your horn and cursing at the person (me) that has the door open, please realize that it is not going to help. As a matter of fact it makes the person who has to close the door go slower. Maybe even go inside with the door still open just to see what you are going to do. I DIDN’T THINK YOU WERE GOING TO ACTUALLY WAIT UNTIL I CAME BACK OUT AND CLOSE THE DOOR TO PASS!!!! But when I did come back out and you opened your window and called me an asshole and a piece of shit, and I’m not sure what finger was looking me right in the face but I’m pretty sure that it was one close to the middle of your hand. Don’t tell me I have no respect, you just don’t know how to fucking drive. You do not have to stay in that lane especially when the cars behind you are passing you. I don’t know if you were proving a point or what you were doing, but you lost. All told it ended up being a 5 minute delay in your day that didn’t need to be. You, my friend, are an idiot. And if I ever see your car coming down the street again I am going to open all the doors in the car and just sit outside with a six pack and watch you struggle to figure out what you’re next move is Einstein. Truly, you are the dumbest person alive. And I wish I could say it was a terrible woman driver but it wasn’t. It was a guy in a wife beater in February. Got to love my neighborhood. A couple of my neighbors who realized I was messing with him did come outside and start laughing with me which started my day off great. So, to the F 150 driver who drives down Montour street at around eight in the morning, you are truly the dumbest human being I have ever seen. And you calling me an idiot is actually a complement because I can’t imagine someone doing something as stupid as what you just did this morning. Please, please drive by tomorrow again as I put two trash cans in the middle of the road and a sign on them that says, “F 150s may not pa

Just because we hold the door for you.......

2011-02-23T13:04:00.000-08:00

I am not very happy after my recent Wawa trip. Always.... ALWAYS I hold the door for women when they are going in anywhere. So today, I was about to walk into Wawa and saw that there were a couple girls about ten feet away. So I opened the door and waited for them, they walked through and didn't say a word... no Thank you or Hello or anything. At this point I just let it go and walk in to grab myself a Coca-Cola because everyone knows how much I love my Coca-Cola. I pay for my soda and start to walk out and notice the girls I let in are walking right in front of me. Fantastic I think to myself, they can make up for being assholes on the way in. So I put my head down walking right behind them and get through the first door, thank you i say, and as I am getting to the second door I lift my head only to have it smash into the fucking door because apparently she thought maybe it was a good idea to just get out as fast as she could and let the door smack me in the face! I stop to regain my composure and throw the door open with all my mite! And as I am ready to yell at these girls for being typical, no mannered northeast brats I hear a bang. While I let my emotions take over and swung the door open at 100mph it hit an older lady directly in her coffee holding arm and burnt the shit out of her.
So I went from being a very nice guy to the biggest jerkoff in the world. I started freaking out saying how sorry I was and trying to explain how "those girls were so obnoxious and slammed the door in my.... Oh yeh... right.... I am really sorry" So I bought her another coffee and at the end of the day I am sure she never wants to see me again but was at least smiling when she left.
This is all just a precursor to saying,"We always hold the door open for you ladies, can you please return the favor!" Because I really don't want to break an old women's hip while flailing a door open to tell you how obnoxious you are. Damn you to hell girls from Wawa, Damn you to hell.

Philly goes to Oregon

2011-01-12T08:35:00.000-08:00

So the life long question shall be answered tomorrow. Can someone from Philadelphia actually understand/ be able to compose himself in a respectful way in another state (besides new jersey because that place is the arm pit of America). I am off to Oregon tomorrow and to tell you the truth I am not sure if they are ready for me. I am Philly for life, gangsta as shit... if one of those loggers who thinks he's so tough steps up to me he's gonna feel what it's like to get thrown down a mountain. I am not sure how I am going to do with all the nature because the only nature is philadelphia is "Naughty by Nature." I am very excited and just hope that Oregonians realize that they can't step to a Philly bol or there will be problems. Even though they all have rifles, I am too quick for bullets and this gives the women there a chance to be with someone outside their family... haha. I am just joking (?). Oregon I hope you are ready to get hit in the face with the baddest mutha this side of, well.... anything. See everyone when I get back, check up on my blogs I will be writing everyday. Keep Philly up sonsss!

The best thing a white man can hear

2011-01-05T09:55:00.000-08:00

Through the years I have and still have many African American friends. We have always gotten along very well, more so than the other white kids they knew. Maybe it is because I was always good enough at basketball to play on the same court as them or maybe just because I dress well and iron my T-shirts just like all my black friends do. But the greatest thing I have ever heard from, well actually, from many black men is this quote, "Joe, for real... I think you are the coolest white kid I've ever met." Recently my friend Prince said this to me and I was smiling for weeks! I don't know why it means so much but it truly does. Just knowing that you are the coolest white kid that they have ever encountered makes you feel pretty good about yourself. Always being a city kid definitely helps me out in these situations. Growing up as one of the few white kids on my block, I guess as a young man I picked up a lot of traits that many of my African American friends have. So to all of my African brothers reading this blog, remember... you said I was the coolest white kid you've ever met. And if you are just going around town and saying that to every white kid you see my heart is broken. I still bust a sag, shit... i wear Rocawear! So just remember, if my other white friends are reading this... all the black bols we know like me way more then they like you. Because I'm gangsta as shit. And I would just like to thank all of my friends of the darker persuasion for complementing me in a way that I will always remember. But don't think I didn't put in the work. I know all the words to every Wu- Tang song and every solo venture they ever went on, and i did that for you guys. Thanks again... you are truly all my N&%^@$. One.

Joseph Muhammad Abdur.... Joe Paull is my slave name, and from this day forward I will not be known as Joseph Paull.

Road trips with a woman

2011-01-05T03:55:00.000-08:00

I would like to start by saying, men do not need to stop at a gas station to get directions. The main problem is that women are the worst navigators on this earth. They get so mad at us when we are lost......... we are only lost because you can not read a map! If you could then we would not have to stop at a gas station for directions. Many relationships have been ended because of things said to each other on these road trips. My advice to women while on a road trips with their man..... GO TO SLEEP! Nothing good can happen if you are awake. Only a fight and probably a break up. And of course both of you are wrong, but mainly the woman. I am just glad that GPS has been invented so it stops most of the arguments on the road but for those folks that can't afford GPS, well.... I wish you the best and I wish you the best with your next girlfriend as well.

Joe Boy

Sandals and socks

2011-01-05T02:01:00.000-08:00

There are a lot of different thoughts when it comes to sandals and socks. I for one am not with it. But in my neighborhood it seems to be the "In" thing. Not only does it seem to be the in thing but it has been for many years now. White Jordan sandals and black socks. I can't imagine why people think this looks good but unless it is a little colder than you thought it would be there is no reason to put socks on with sandals. As a matter of fact if it's cold... WEAR SHOES! ALL of my African American friends wear Sandals and socks. I don't know if that's because people of the darker persuasion have just terribly ugly feet or what the deal is. But it is a complete joke. The only time that this is acceptable is when you are going to a basketball game in which you are playing in so you can take off your sandals and get right into your high tops. I am not saying that (being a northeast kid) I have not delved into wearing socks and sandals but I was just young and trying to look cool for the old heads, even though there is nothing cool about it. I hope to god that in the next couple years people realize how tragic of a style choice this is and make a change. But I do not see it happening anywhere in northeast Philadelphia, it also takes place in South Philly as well. But who really cares about south philly anyway? You all look ridiculous and please, PLEASE.... stop this ridiculous "trend."

.... who woke up older

2010-10-13T13:52:00.000-07:00

Time comes and goes,

I stay in the same place bros

Never moving forward always same spot

Gonna start to attack and improve a lot

Don't know how or when

Gotta be soon, feel good again

Only at that point will life be true

People have a lot to say but I only listen to a few

Those I truly admire and hope stay strong

Because the only way to live life is as if it's not that long

Pray for today

Live for tomorrow

I used to wished that other peoples lives I could borrow

But I can't and now don't wanna, because everyone gonna go through sorrow

And sadness and sometimes happy comez with life that we live

Only thing that we can do is give

To the less fortunate the less smiling

The beats on rhythm that's the phone you hear dialing

To apologize to many in my past

And say fuck you to some that didn't last

But today I know better than I did

It's time to grow up, not time to be a kid

So i won't, Do everything I haveta

Go back to college and fill out my FAFSA

Just really happy at the end

I got a couple people to call friend

Thank you to all my loving friends. You mean the world to me. More then the world.

JoeBoy

.... with no direction in life

2010-10-12T21:06:00.000-07:00

People think I am a slacker. People think that I don't want to do anything with my life. I wish i could line those people up and smack them in the face. I am sorry to all of you I have let down by not knowing what I want to do in life yet. I like to write, in case you haven't figured that out yet. But without a degree it is hard even if you know what you wanna do. Am I less of a person than everyone else because I dont know yet. Even at the age of 27? Maybe I am. Maybe I will never be as good or as accomplished as a person as you are. But I will always be kind, I will always be there for you and I will always hold my friends feelings above mine. So when people ask me what I want to do in my life, I want to be a great friend... and even though some people have strayed..... I have never been a bad friend to anyone. I just want to provide for me and my own and make sure all of my friends are okay. If there is anything wrong with that, i don't know what to tell you. Most of you are so caught up in the rat race to give a shit about anyone. Well, all i do is care about people maybe to a fault. If that is my fault, fine, i'll take it. I just hope that after reading this some of you realize that you are taking life too seriously and have completely lost touch with what is important... good family and good friends. I feel sorry for you, even though I bet you feel sorry for me bc I have nothing going for me at this point. I am scared, as a lot of people are, but now there's nothing to be scared of. I got a couple good friends (barely), and a solid family. I used to have a ton but they ditched out when it got hard. So to anyone feeling the same way I do. It can only get better i suppose. You are better than you think you are. You are much better than they think you are.

the struggle of a man who wants to find true love

2010-10-12T18:48:00.000-07:00

   Sorry if this all seems a little pessimistic but this is how i feel. Just know I wish it was a possibility, but I do not think that true love exist. Sure, you love your family but I am not talking about your family. I am talking about the feelings of one person towards another. True love is a myth, a unicorn, a white man that's good at basketball.... it doesn't exist. There are folks who are compatible, and can live their lives together and have children and be very happy. But I do not think, I will not make a generalization, I do not think I will ever find true love. Maybe some of you can, who am I to say you can't, I am just a kid with an opinion.
   But the feeling of love creates an increase in dopamine in your brain. So if you feel like you are attracted to someone and may like them a lot, or love them... the dopamine in your brain explodes. Dopamine is the same thing that is released when you use a drug. So if you're smoking meth or "falling in love" it creates the same biological ends. I believed in love for a long time. And maybe the reason I don't anymore is because the person I felt an incredible tie too, a feeling that I have never felt before, love: you may say..... died when she was 15. I know you might think, "How could you feel and know what love is at such an early age?" Well, what I felt was awesome. But I did not know it was love. Only now do I think that could have been my only shot. She was an angel. Truly someone I was in awe of. So nice, so beautiful, so care free... soo.... special.
   Since then I have had no hope. The terms, Love and Being in Love are so different that they could not be explained in this forum. I love many of my friends that are girls and love many of my friends that are guys. Just know this is only one man's opinion, I hope you are in love with someone right now. I truly do. I just have had no experience where I could say that I have seen true love. There are many couples that love each other that I know. Maybe what I think is In Love isn't the right definition. I hope it's not. To be in love with someone to me means that you could stay in every night with each other and have a great time. Or when she looks at you, you just want to melt. Getting lost in her eyes for hours. Knowing that she would, and you would do anything for each other. It is depressing to think that there is no True Love... if that is the case then what is there truly to live for? I have to have hope. Although as we all know, hope can be the best and worst thing to have. Well, all I can hope is that there is one more woman on this earth that will change my mind.
   To all of those In Love............. I believe that you are. I just do not think it is possible for me to be in love. And I wish all of you the best.

Who toots in a crowded room

2010-10-10T13:02:00.000-07:00

SBD. It is 3 letters that have always scared all of us. Usually if you hear this letters in this order, you move and you move quick. But there are some times where you can not let anyone know that you were the one who just let that mistake take place. In a room with your boss and your coworkers, in a room with priests and nuns (although I would blame the nuns), or just a really awkward trip on the elevator from the first floor to the 20th with the same people. Everyone knows something that should not have happened has gone down and they try and just carry on with their lives. They first realize that is an impossible feet to just carry on with their lives in this musk that is floating around watering peoples eyes and making them gag. But you can not just act like everything is normal. So i have figured out two methods to get away with this horrible act. The first may not be "ethical" perse but it will stop anyone from questioning the smell for the rest of the time you have to spend together. Simple as well, you just stand behind the prettiest girl in the room and wait until some people look back and point at her as if, "Listen, I am standing behind her and believe me, behind this pretty face is a gaseous stomach." No one will ever question a pretty girl about a horrid smell. The other fool proof plan is to just completely make people feel bad for you. Let them know that you have had terrible stomach problems since you were a kid, apologize about what you have made them go through for the past 20 minutes and look so upset that they understand your pain because everyone has been in this situation. Stories like, It takes me a lot longer to digest than a normal person or I have never understood why this always happens to me (sad face), I am so embarrassed. So either blame the pretty girl, your boss or take it on the chin like a man. It is not the worst thing that could happen. The worst thing that could happen would be for it to happen on a first date. In which case, while you are at the table with your date, you just stand up and yell, "YOU ARE DISGUSTING! I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU COULDN'T HOLD THAT AND TAKE A TRIP TO THE BATHROOM!" Which is when you leave the money for the food and run as fast as you can out of that restaurant. Sure, you may hurt the girls feelings but you already blew it with your ass so you shouldn't even be worried about her being your soul mate at that point. The only time you know it is okay is if a joke is made about it before you can even struggle to defend yourself (or the people you blamed), then just go along with it and laugh and laugh and laugh (while pointing to the pretty girl in front of you). So now you know how to go about fixing this problem if it may ever happen to you (again).

The struggle of a man who

2010-10-09T13:30:00.000-07:00

Dear friends... I love my head bands. I have almost 30, just recently counted because I knew at one time I had about 40 but since they are so small they do get left at many places. But I truly have a head band to match any outfit I want to wear. Some may say, "Hey Joe, get a fucking life, stop wearing head bands you look like an idiot, you kind of smell bad, I wanna punch you in the face, go play in traffic, I want to rip your arm off and beat you with it..... you get the point. People do not like the head band. And I am just here to say, it ain't going no where folks. I will be 50 and still be wearing a head band. But the only time I truly wear it is when my hair is in it's awkward phase. Right now being one of those times. I can not explain to you my hair and how it looks but i have cow licks on both sides of the front of my hair which makes it pretty hard to.... look good at all. So when it grows out, I can either part it on one side and look like I was in the movie "Revenge of the Nerds 3", or i can put it in a head band and sort of look like a lesbian. Personally I would rather look like a lesbian, because at least lesbians like girls. My hair just looks so bad parted. But I am pleading people, stop trying to start fights with kids in head bands because they're crazy to be wearing them out in the first place, so what do you think we'll do to you? We will kick your ass that's what! We will kick your ass and not get a sweaty forehead because we are wearing a headband. And yes, it is a conversation starter, maybe not a good one... but one none the less. If I am out with my boys and we are trying to talk to girls all we have to do is wait for a girl to say "Sweet Head Band loser" and then.... we charm them with our smooth talk. So I take one for the team as well.

In conclusion I would just like to say, next time you see a guy in a head band please, dont be so quick to judge. That kid is making his friends look good (or better than him), getting girls to talk to his friends because of their loser head band friend, and a lot of the girls who see head banders think that he may be gay and grow more comfortable with them earlier than his friends with no game (or maybe that's just me, whatever.. no matter). So beware of the head band wearing man, he is well read and has thought of everything you have thought of. You can not hurt our spirit with your quick zingers or self esteem killers because if we have the balls to wear headbands in public then we are definitely better than you are at making fun of people. Remember that.

The struggle of a man's first kiss

2010-10-08T06:46:00.000-07:00

The first, as they are called, "french kiss" a man has is one of the most awkward moments in their young lives. You start by kissing, do not know if she wants the tongue unless she is an aggressive 5th grader. Then the tongue play starts. Note: this is right after you found out what happens when you get turned on. As the kiss gets more intense, and by more intense I mean your tongue is almost up her nose, you are starting to feel that weird feeling downstairs. So you back away, but keep your upper body connected to hers. But as a fifth grader you are way to embarrassed to let her know what is "truly" going on. Even though she probably has older sisters who explained it to her a year before, which would've helped to know (at least in my case). Then right before the recess bell rings you are asked if you don't like her because you were pulling away the whole time..... which, she doesn't know, but was not the case at all. You just didn't wanna stab her leg. At that age it's not like you sit down after the kiss and talk about what you could do to make it better, or how it was for her? You just think you are the man. Until lunch time, when everyone is pointing and laughing at the kid who pulls his whole lower body away from the girl he is kissing because he is embarrassed. Well, that didn't help the embarrassment part at all. The first kiss a man, and just guessing but a woman has.... if anyone ever says it was the best kiss they've ever had, straight liar. When you have your eyes open, are barely touching each other except on the lips and just have your hands on her hips like she is your grandmother who you are helping up the steps... it can not be "magical", as we all thought it was at the time. And I was so bad, I got dumped a week later... even though I didn't know we were going out. It truly is a very tough time for a kid who has his first kiss, and for me, even tougher.... because I still kiss that way.

the struggle of a man buying condoms

2010-10-08T05:49:00.000-07:00

Number one: Why do they have to bee in a metal safe in the middle of the Rite Aid?
Number two: Why does the person at the counter have to yell over the loudspeaker, "I need the key for the condoms!"
Number three: If a woman is at the register, I do not want her to know that I am that small and on top of that, need the kind that makes women pleased because I don't.
Number four: Why do they always get the wrong key first so my next door neighbor and his 8 year old kid can watch me stand by the counter as anxious as can be waiting for this 40 minute process..... when the "actual" process does not take me 40 minutes to begin with.
Number five: The question, "what kind do you want" should be replaced with, "are you 100% white?"
Number six: Just to make the process a little more of a confidence booster, I buy Magnums 4 times a week (the huge pack) from 4 different places, then go back to my Rite Aid once a month (maybe) and get the kiddy sized ribbed for her condoms. Yeh huge self esteem booster. So if anyone needs 36 packs of magnums, get at me.

Being a Man

2010-10-03T10:51:00.000-07:00

I suppose to realize the struggles of being a man, you need to know what I think the definition of a man is. I'll give it my best shot.

Taking care of you and your people
Not being afraid to be yourself
Realizing that life isn't just wealth
Having respect for the opposite sex, treating them as they should be
Opening doors, pulling out chairs..... letting them know you care
Showing the world it can not keep you down
Even if you are struggling with your knees on the ground
Praying that one day you will astound
Not just friends and family but people you meet daily
Being a man is being able to admit your mistakes
Being a man is getting it done, by doing as much as it takes
Knowing that you are not perfect but your imperfections are the things that make you who you are
Being comfortable that you're not going to be a rock star
Not being afraid to cry, not being afraid to die, not being able to lie
Relinquishing the fear that you've carried always behind your eyes
Showing love to all, especially those you show it to you
Being a man.... being a man is just being true.

I can only hope that I am able to do all of these things soon. The easiest of them, the hardest of them.

Just wanted to let you know what I think a Man is so you can understand "The struggle", if any they go through.

But my next couple blogs are going to be like this..... The struggle of a man..... mowing the lawn, on acid, buying condoms with his girlfriend and other ridiculous and fun topics.

The struggles of a white man

2010-10-02T12:57:00.000-07:00

...................uhhh............. I guess just feeling inadequate about their lower region? Oh...and..... no, that's all.

As men....

2010-10-02T11:35:00.000-07:00

As men there are many things that we have to do to act as "Good People." We have to act like we care about what women are talking about, which is one of our biggest struggles to overcome. But not only that, we have to comprehend what they are saying so we are prepared to answer the questions, that we all know are coming, that she will ask. I am not saying that listening to women is a horrible thing. Just listening to women about what they think to be important. "Do these shoes look good with this hat?" That is probably the best example I can give you. And the most ridiculous thing to care about on this earth. Sure, if you were to ask, "How do I look?" Fine! No Problem, got that one in the bag... simple... you look great. But then the questions that she has which apparently came as offsprings to your answer. "Well Jane said I don't look good in this outfit last week." "I don't think I look good though? "Are you sure I do" And then the most ridiculous comment of them all after an hour answering her questions and telling her she looks great..... "Well, you know what, I'm not gonna wear this outfit." IF YOU HAD ANY DOUBT ABOUT THAT OUTFIT 3 MINUTES IN..... WHY WOULDN'T YOU MAKE UP YOUR MIND THEN?! Because it wasted an hour of my life that I will never get back and another hour to be thrown out the window is coming once you put on your next ridiculous outfit. LADIES! PLEASE! Just help us out a little bit. Usually we are with you because we love you, not because of the outfits you wear. Or we are with you because you're just drop dead gorgeous and we have to deal with it to get any lovin'. Just try and understand what we go through. So before you ask us next time, really look at yourself in the mirror and think what you think.... if you feel you look good go with it. Because if we don't and we say it, so goes our relationship. Thank you for your time.

Info about this blog

2010-10-02T11:09:00.000-07:00

This blog will not be confined to anything. I will be speaking my mind on things I feel are important, funny, or just sometimes writing for the sake of writing. Please follow and help me as I try to improve my blog daily, thanks again.

Joe Boy

Why do people judge?

2010-10-01T13:58:00.000-07:00

I wish that more of you in this world would realize the pain and suffering that you have caused many people. Myself, have also committed some terrible acts. But in the past week four young kids have killed themselves because of being outted as homosexuals, getting terrible texts from people, etc. I am so upset and disappointed in a nation that is in such a horrible place right now and instead of trying to make things better, they are only getting worse. I want everyone to think of the worst thing they can remember happening to them and reflect. We all need to unite and be one. The beauty in our society is that everyone is a different personality, and just because you don't like that personality does not mean that it is not their right to show it. Please people we need more love, love leads to happiness and happiness to a greater good. Thank you for listening and I will be posting blogs every day so please read and feedback. Much appreciated, be well all. Be safe and have fun.

Joe Boy