Posted by Bob Wallace, who only likes pugs and believes all chihuahuas should be terminated with extreme prejudice.
One of the biggest problems in the world are people who stick their noses into what is not their business.
I'm walking my dog -- a pug, of all dogs -- down the alley when some old guy in a car stops, rolls down his window and asks my name. I thought he was going to introduce himself, since I know many people in the neighborhood.
When I tell him my name, he says, "You stay away from here or I'll call the police."
I tell him the alley is public. Then I take out my cellphone and tell him I'm calling the police and reporting him. I pretend to dial 911 and put the phone to my ear.
The driver desides to use his garage-door open, goes into his garage, and closes the door. I see him no more of him.
Anyway, I did go the police station and told them what happened. You never know with these old cranky guys. The cop takes the information down and tells me what I already knew -- the alley is public. But I wanted it on record in case there is another confronttation.
Posted by Bob Wallace, who knows stupid can't be fixed, but you can at least scare them.
Dogs lead such simple, happy lives. A soft bed, a warm body, lots of good food, preferrably raw and bloody, a walk, some play and petting. Dog heaven! Humans should be so lucky.
I used to have a 12-pound pug who tried to push me out of bed so he would have the whole thing to himself. And he still expected me to feed him three times a day.
Posted by Bob Wallace, who considers all dogs basically worthless parasites, but still has one.
Posted by Bob Wallace, who only likes pugs and believes all chihuahuas should be terminated with extreme prejudice.
Cherry Bombs (also known as Globe Salutes) are approximately spherical shaped exploding fireworks, ranging in size from three-quarters-inch to one-and-one-half-inch (1.9 cm to 3.8 cm) in diameter.
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A typical cherry bomb contained a core of explosive composition (i.e., flash powder or, less commonly, black powder) which was generally encapsulated inside a paper cup, which was in turn most commonly surrounded by a layer (approx. one-quarter inch thick) of sawdust infused with a mild adhesive (usually sodium silicate). An ignition fuse (aka "wick") was inserted into a hole drilled into the hardened sawdust sphere, all the way down to reach the explosive composition. The fuse extended outside the sphere approximately one to one and a half inchs. Once the fuse was ignited, it took about three to four and a half seconds to reach the explosive composition and initiate detonation (i.e., explosion) of the firework.
The color of the salute's exterior varied, depending on the manufacturer and the time period during which the salute was produced. Early on, in the late-1920s and 1930s, Globe Salutes had fuses which were tan, red or striped and multi-colored, and their body color varied, ranging from brown and tan to silver and red, and some were even decorated with multi-colored confetti. However, by the 1940s the most common color of the spherical salutes being marketed was a deep pink to red, with a green fuse, which is when the name Cherry Salute and Cherry Bomb entered popular use.
These original spherical salutes were powerful enough to cause very serious injury and even death. Many hundreds of eyes and fingers were lost annually to these exploding toys of yesteryear, until they were totally banned in the USA in 1966, by the federal Child Protection Laws ("CPLs"). Historically, these Globe Salutes and Cherry Bombs were originally charged with 5 to 10 times the amount of explosive composition a standard inch-and-a-half paper firecracker had. But, after the enactment of the CPLs, all commercially produced spherical salutes, as well as all other powerful and deadly[ exploding fireworks, such as silver tube salutes and M-80, could not contain more than a certain government specified quantity of explosive composition, which typically amounted to less than 5% of their original amounts.
Original potency Cherry Bombs are now considered illegal explosive devices in the United States, Possession, manufacture, or sale of cherry bombs in the USA is illegal.
Posted by Bob Wallace, who makes do with Black Cat firecrackers and bottle rockets.
I have a seven-year-old one-eyed rescue pug I've had for four months. I shave him weekly to keep him cool, keep a gallon of fresh water in my van (which has ice-cold AC) and park in the shade and leave the windows down if I have to leave him in the van -- which is always just for five minutes.
I walk out to my van Friday from being in the store for five minutes, and I see there is a 40ish woman with wraparound sunglasses and a cellphone in her hand standing near my van. I also notice the door to my van is ajar.
I start to get in my van, and she asks me, "Is this your van?"
No, of course not, I'm getting into a stranger's van. I just happen to have the key. She tells me she has called the police because I left my dog in the car.
I realize I'm dealing with a loon. The police aren't going to do anything, and in fact get calls like this all the time.
So I check her out -- the bitter, hostile look, the lack of a ring on her finger, and I decide this is a woman who has gone through a bad divorce, probably seeing a therapist, and is taking her problems out on me. So I decide to turn it around on her.
"Look lady," I tell her, "I suggest you take care of your own problems first, like getting that bitter, hostile look off of your face because you went through a bad divorce."
Her mouth drops open and she takes a step back. Then she yells at me, "You just wait until the police get here!"
I tell her the police aren't going to do anything to me, and besides, I have other things to do that wait for them to show up and tell her she's a moron.
As I'm driving away she screams at me, "You're no gentleman." To which I respond, "That is the ONLY thing you've gotten right about this."
Posted by Bob Wallace, who realized a long time ago that stupid cannot be fixed.
I live in Missouri, where all fireworks are legal. There are even stores, open all year around, which sell nothing but fireworks.
Right before the Fourth of July, tents are put up near the borders, so people from other states are buy stuff. In Illinois, for example, only sparklers are legal, so people come across the Mississippi River bridges and buy fireworks to their heart's content.
I recently bought some bottle rockets and Black Cat firecrackers.
When I was a kid in Illinois, the older boys would buy fireworks in Missour, mark the price up, and sell them to us 10-year-olds.
Ten years old and buying illegal fireworks from 17-year-old smugglers. There's humor in that somewhere.
Posted by Bob Wallace, who should have gotten some M-80s, too.