tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462Fri, 17 Feb 2012 06:38:32 +0000MarriageCivic DutyRelationshipsThwartedIdiocyThe HusbandParentingScience-ishPhotosDolla Bills Y'allHome LifeRaw Photos ContestLazy PostingClassySo terribly disgustingGuest PostingPictures Are Worth WHAT?Work ItHOTHomeworkGoopAWARDS BITCHESSwearingMy PsycheIn MemoriamRaw PhotosQueryHealthReligionHome LiFofeGirlSchoolReviewsSo Terribly DisgustinNatureNightmaresSoGwyneth K. PaltrowAre You Kidding Me?Yeah That's CrazyHaving FunTools but not the useful kindRanting about nothingYogaIt's funny to meBeautificationVacationsWriting promptsFaunaKenyan Muslin PresidentAll the news that fits my blogHeadachesEmotions are overratedLinking up like Linkin ParkReligious People BewareRamping and RavingRidiculousUpdateRecipesMoviesEducationBooksKetchup is for winners, Ted.http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)Blogger696125http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nd/2.0/TheSuniversehttp://feedburner.google.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-8576972129670331847Thu, 16 Feb 2012 14:00:00 +00002012-02-16T09:00:06.107-05:00. . . who can't read the title of Glenn Close's new movie Albert Nobb without giggling.  There HAS to be a joke about Albert's knob in there somewhere, right? . . . who swears she only bought the buy one get one free bags of Doritos because they were on sale and, you know, people need snacks when they come over, and then ate pretty much both bags by herself? . . . who already hated Komen and http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/c1NaHyS73bE/im-not-only-one.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)9<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/c1NaHyS73bE" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/02/im-not-only-one.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-7007453509671978361Tue, 14 Feb 2012 14:00:00 +00002012-02-14T09:00:08.163-05:00The husband and I are in bed late on a Saturday night, ready to live it, married style.  Meaning, I have my bite plate in and am reading [Hello, Half-Blood Prince!], and the husband has put in a Burn Notice dvd. The Husband:  Man, she's really nipping out. Me: What? [Glancing up from my book] WHAT? The Husband: Look, you can see her nipple. Me: OH MY GOD, STOP TALKING ABOUT SHARON GLESS'S http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/JheBV-fHDKs/isnt-it-romantic.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)17<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/JheBV-fHDKs" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/02/isnt-it-romantic.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-9051926992496744515Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:00:00 +00002012-02-09T09:00:13.666-05:00You know how I read when I'm working out? I just finished reading The Weird Sisters by Eleanor Brown, and I have to say . . . meh. It's about 3 sisters who grow up in a small college town in Ohio with a Shakespeare loving professor for a dad and a scatter-brained mom. Again, meh. I'm not a huge fan of Shakespeare. I prefer Christopher Marlowe [Dr. Faustus? COME ON!] and Ben Jonson [Volpone washttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/lA5xMdc1O5c/it-was-just-weird-thats-all.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)14<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/lA5xMdc1O5c" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/02/it-was-just-weird-thats-all.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-4815311600962057666Tue, 07 Feb 2012 14:00:00 +00002012-02-07T09:00:19.722-05:00You know how Yahoo! is your home page? It's not? Am I the only one a step above the AOL people? Whatever. Yahoo! is my home page [which I immediately switch to something else, so I'm not sure why it's my home page. Nostalgia? Possibly. Laziness? Probably.] and even though I KNOW I shouldn't, because it will only make me angry, sometimes I'll click on something despite my better judgment and http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/d2I7J-LtcYk/i-know-better-now.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)16<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/d2I7J-LtcYk" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/02/i-know-better-now.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-1682894598075770663Fri, 03 Feb 2012 12:50:00 +00002012-02-03T07:50:08.265-05:00You know when you're kind of feeling like life is a big, fat pile of bullshit and you can't seem to find one fucking silver lining? You know, kind of like I did when I was dealing with stupid Maytag and feeling like you're going to have a heart attack because you have all the symptoms? Sometimes, like some of you said, shit is just bad and you have to realize you will work your way through it. http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/NQGuXDn99QA/i-know-i-cant-believe-it-either.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)9<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/NQGuXDn99QA" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/02/i-know-i-cant-believe-it-either.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-3643864563994453009Wed, 01 Feb 2012 14:00:00 +00002012-02-01T09:00:11.629-05:00Me: Ugh. Cats are so needy. The husband:  Cats? If you think CATS are so needy, you need to rethink pet ownership.http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/nq0EjbU4oi0/and-this-explains-lot-about-me.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)14<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/nq0EjbU4oi0" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/02/and-this-explains-lot-about-me.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-7170951439350085513Tue, 31 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +00002012-01-31T09:00:08.326-05:00The husband and I took a trip across the border - no, not to Taco Bell. Across an actual border between the US and Canada.  Times have certainly changed, in that when we used to cross the border, we only needed . . . nothing, really.  Now, we have to be sure to bring our passports, which, I think, is the reason that EVERY SINGLE TIME WE COME BACK TO THIS COUNTRY, the border guards search our car.http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/vhQxyAhOb7Q/oh-canada.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)18<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/vhQxyAhOb7Q" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/01/oh-canada.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-1377486266437247132Thu, 26 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +00002012-01-26T09:00:06.166-05:00Please explain to me how, in the past two days, I've encountered THREE books about a woman who has an accident thingy and suffers amnesia. THREE.  In TWO DAYS. First, I listened to Sophie Kinsella's book, which was . . . meh.  I should have quit reading her after the first Shopoholic book, but I keep going back, like a sucker. Or meth head. THEN, as soon as I finished that book, later that samehttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/_U3xMDZBvxA/power-of-positive-thinking-can-kiss-my.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)24<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/_U3xMDZBvxA" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/01/power-of-positive-thinking-can-kiss-my.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-416646397420463717Tue, 24 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +00002012-01-24T09:00:02.457-05:00Well, I checked out this Yahoo! article on heart attack symptoms, and, unsurprisingly, I have them ALL. This was after I had the shittiest day in ages, so you must understand that it's not only my hypochondria which has me thinking I'm going to join Elizabeth because this is the big one*.  It's all combining to make me think this is it.  It's over.  Particularly because Saturday was a http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/fhpdxUchyJ0/im-better-now-thanks.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)28<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/fhpdxUchyJ0" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/01/im-better-now-thanks.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-8468541686692170165Thu, 19 Jan 2012 15:00:00 +00002012-01-19T10:00:07.332-05:00SOPA/PIPA/KELLY FUCKING RIPA Yes, a day late. I tried to black out my blog yesterday, but couldn't figure it out.  So I put the STOP SOPA thing on my avi, where it will remain until I figure out how to get it off - good luck with that.  It will be there until the internet explodes. Here's the thing - this is bad policy.  Being able to shut down sites because of perceived transgressions is not http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/ndeVk81ycpE/oh-benevolent-internets.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)31<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/ndeVk81ycpE" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/01/oh-benevolent-internets.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-898183308458821582Tue, 17 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +00002012-01-17T09:00:06.935-05:00If it's Tuesday and I'm tired, then it must be Book Report Tuesday. Let's get to it: I'm not sure who recommended this, but it is brilliant, so thank you very, very much. It's The Psychopath Test by Jon Ronson and I love it for the following reasons: I found out I am NOT a psychopath;  it is immensely readable;  it has enough crime/creepiness to keep you engaged without delving into so much http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/_BfjDu3AYQc/i-have-to-think-of-title-too-eh-fuck-it.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)22<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/_BfjDu3AYQc" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/01/i-have-to-think-of-title-too-eh-fuck-it.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-816903761115438390Thu, 12 Jan 2012 15:00:00 +00002012-01-12T10:00:08.506-05:00Since about December, I've been stalking Talbots [what? again, I'm old.] by going online and putting all the cute things I want to buy in my shopping cart.  I check it periodically, particularly when I get a SALE email, and I've been watching the price whittle down and down and down, but never down far enough for me to justify spending that kind of money on clothes for myself [for the husband andhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/jdWEF8Hi2Tw/she-who-hesitates-is-shit-out-of-luck.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)27<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/jdWEF8Hi2Tw" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/01/she-who-hesitates-is-shit-out-of-luck.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-226493125531304959Tue, 10 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +00002012-01-10T09:00:14.490-05:00I finally took down my meager outdoor decorations yesterday.  Yes, on Monday, January 9th.  Oh, yours were down the day after Christmas? I'll try not to hate you, much. I haven't been able to motivate myself to deal with the crappy decorations, partly because I've been sick, mostly because they are so fucking crappy.  We have tons of lights, but only have outlets outside in the backyard, so it'shttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/n4qUlNkWfNQ/one-day-at-time-is-not-just-tv-show-or.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)26<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/n4qUlNkWfNQ" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/01/one-day-at-time-is-not-just-tv-show-or.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-5094107931850630411Thu, 05 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +00002012-01-05T09:00:08.704-05:00So 2012 has decided to welcome me with open arms full of the plague. I've come down with something wretched, but actually have a doctor's note to work from home all week, so that's awesome. As is the fact that I'm hopped up on inhalers to keep my lungs fresh and clean. I had to go to the doctor and the pharmacy to get an antibiotic, which sucked, because 1. Those pharmacy fuckers took FOREVER http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/anThapEOQuY/hows-that-working-out-for-me-you-ask.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)38<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/anThapEOQuY" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/01/hows-that-working-out-for-me-you-ask.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-7798084127287417227Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:00:00 +00002012-01-03T09:00:12.830-05:002012 better watch its back. I AM NOT FUCKING AROUND ANYMORE. Because I am the worst at following through on things [remember when I was going to work on my novel? Or memoir? Or sew up the tear in my sweater? Can you guess how many of those things got finished in 2011? ZERO. NUMBER ZERO OF THEM GOT FINISHED.], and because I am trying to be kinder to myself [You know, just to see how that would http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/rkhIhfGax3c/look-out-bitches-this-is-my-year.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)26<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/rkhIhfGax3c" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/01/look-out-bitches-this-is-my-year.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-8734983667243407410Thu, 29 Dec 2011 15:44:00 +00002011-12-29T10:44:53.186-05:00I just got followed on Twitter by someone who is looking for no-strings-attached sex. I'm in the big leagues, yo.http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/g7daQUB6vCs/i-have-arrived.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)18<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/g7daQUB6vCs" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2011/12/i-have-arrived.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-2249178133277821088Tue, 27 Dec 2011 16:55:00 +00002011-12-27T11:55:08.912-05:00Need some fun and games in your life after the holiday extravaganza? Me, too.  Enjoy! Click to embiggen. http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/lHm7Z7N4ROM/holiday-failure-bingo-everybody-loses.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)18<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/lHm7Z7N4ROM" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2011/12/holiday-failure-bingo-everybody-loses.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-6569520267040506022Thu, 22 Dec 2011 14:23:00 +00002011-12-22T09:23:38.904-05:00It never ceases to amaze me that I paint myself into a corner by delaying delaying procrastinating and delaying some more. I do it with everything. What I can put off, I will. What I cannot put off, I will do, until I realize that I can probably put that off, for a while, too. I think that's the worst lesson ever learned - that you can put shit off for-fucking-ever [or what feels like it] http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/fpJi5Zy5BoQ/ill-do-it-tomorrow.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)21<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/fpJi5Zy5BoQ" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2011/12/ill-do-it-tomorrow.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-9160541354695232428Tue, 20 Dec 2011 13:53:00 +00002011-12-20T08:53:22.287-05:00Dear Young Teen Age Boy, Do I look like The Incredible Hulk to you? I only ask, because while my skin does have an olive tone, I do not possess the sheer muscle mass required to lift and carry a bag filled with 3 whole tenderloins or the other bag filled to near bursting with 3 five pound bags of flour [King Arthur is on sale, everyone! LET THE BAKING BEGIN!].  I mean, I know this coat is kind http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/yTwf8MjHFgE/open-letter-to-my-grocery-bagger.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)21<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/yTwf8MjHFgE" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2011/12/open-letter-to-my-grocery-bagger.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-2089450073017429375Thu, 15 Dec 2011 14:00:00 +00002011-12-15T09:00:16.323-05:00It's time to play everyone's favorite game - ANSWER MY QUESTIONS, GODDAMMIT. Here we go: 1.  If you had to choose between eating a pound of fat or drinking a pound of fat, what would you do? 2.  Paper or plastic? 3.  Is it a lie to color your hair? What about wearing a push-up padded bra? What if you are a man? 4.  Is coleslaw supposed to be sweet or tangy?  Show your work. 5.  Is it wrong http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/oVSyVliap6U/curiosity-may-have-killed-cat-but-she.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)22<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/oVSyVliap6U" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2011/12/curiosity-may-have-killed-cat-but-she.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-1812017141165910914Tue, 13 Dec 2011 14:00:00 +00002011-12-13T09:00:10.123-05:00 While this isn't my usual thing, I am feeling kind of holiday spirit-y, so I wanted to pass this along: A good friend of mine started a non-profit organization, KKOOM, that helps Korean orphans. In Korea, many kids who are without family end up living in orphanages until they are adults. In addition to all the other work she does, my friend has spent every Christmas for the past several years http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/7ahLEYFOSW4/tra-la-la-fucking-la.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)28<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/7ahLEYFOSW4" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2011/12/tra-la-la-fucking-la.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-4699013615116238775Fri, 09 Dec 2011 13:45:00 +00002011-12-09T08:45:59.186-05:00Do you know where I am today? Fucking A right - I'm over at Funny not Slutty, dropping knowledge. That's right, I'm telling people what to do and how to live their lives. BECAUSE I KNOW EVERYTHING.  Including stuff about sex. And droughts. And how they affect you. As seen on this handy-dandy chart: So, go over there and learn from the best. XOXOXOXO, Suniversehttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/hlxKPIhk5ao/where-i-tell-you-what-to-do-yes-you.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)5<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/hlxKPIhk5ao" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2011/12/where-i-tell-you-what-to-do-yes-you.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-668411769274376328Thu, 08 Dec 2011 14:39:00 +00002011-12-08T09:39:22.389-05:00Guess again. Yes, the month of November was a massive fuckery.  Not only did I neglect my lovers on the internet [hello, gorgeous, meet me around the corner for some really, really nasty good times], but I also missed ANOTHER award I was given by someone who obviously has no idea what a complete ingrate I can be. Not Winning Mom of the Year [how awesome is that for a blog name?] was kind http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/fRijfhbMN88/and-you-thought-it-was-one-time-deal.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)13<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/fRijfhbMN88" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2011/12/and-you-thought-it-was-one-time-deal.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-5612152189130241686Tue, 06 Dec 2011 13:59:00 +00002011-12-06T08:59:57.708-05:00You know how I'm always on top of stuff? And by that, I mean I'm always fucking up and not doing things right? Well, here's another example: On November 6th [remember November? REMEMBER WHEN YOU HAD OODLES OF TIME TO GET YOUR HOLIDAY CRAZINESS TAKEN CARE OF?], the lovely Alyssa of Adventures in Alyssaland was kind enough to give me a Kreativ Blogger Award. That's this, here: This is way too http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/451kXD7yVGA/i-was-remiss-and-now-i-am-miss-thing-is.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)19<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/451kXD7yVGA" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2011/12/i-was-remiss-and-now-i-am-miss-thing-is.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-3871751145028395869Thu, 01 Dec 2011 14:00:00 +00002011-12-01T09:00:16.255-05:00Crappy weather. Inability to focus. Too much to do. It's already fucking DECEMBER. It must be the holidays.  In this spirit of short but brief, here are my list of Fives: Five things you don't know about me My screen saver My weirdest fear The word / phrase I hate the most My shoe size Which one of my lovely online friends is my favorite [Psst . . . Don't tell anyone, but it's you.  Let's keep http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~3/xIkb6P9Vs5s/its-raining-fives.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)23<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheSuniverse/~4/xIkb6P9Vs5s" height="1" width="1"/>http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2011/12/its-raining-fives.html