tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462Fri, 29 Aug 2025 02:54:45 +0000UpdateAre You Kidding Me?Home LifeIdiocyLazy PostingMy PsycheGirlSchoolYeah That's CrazyIt's funny to meParentingAll the news that fits my blogCivic DutyGuest PostingHOTHomeworkRidiculousEmotions are overratedHealthHaving FunGwyneth K. PaltrowMoviesNatureThe HusbandTools but not the useful kindWriting promptsEducationRelationshipsQueryRaw Photos ContestReviewsRaw PhotosReligionScience-ishBooksGoopPictures Are Worth WHAT?Work ItAWARDS BITCHESBeautificationKenyan Muslin PresidentRanting about nothingSwearingFaunaHeadachesLinking up like Linkin ParkRecipesReligious People BewareSo terribly disgustingThwartedVacationsYogaClassyDolla Bills Y'allFoodHome LiFofeIn MemoriamMarriageNightmaresPhotosRamping and RavingSoSo Terribly DisgustinKetchup is for winners, Ted.http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)Blogger899125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-3318559271725419455Sat, 25 Mar 2017 01:36:00 +00002017-03-24T21:36:38.663-04:00Oh, hey, yeah. I remember I used to do this. Did you miss me? Did you realize I was gone? Did you color your hair? It looks amazing. I'm tired and cranky, as are most of you. I'm trying lots of different things to alleviate this existential despair. Yoga. Drinking. Inadvisable piercings. They each bring a tiny bit of relief, but not much. And so, here I am again. Writing. What have you been http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2017/03/what.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-3355701489679194212Thu, 22 Oct 2015 13:00:00 +00002015-10-22T09:00:03.534-04:00I was listening to that TLC song "No Scrubs" and I realized that during high school and college, I was the scrub. I was sitting in the passenger side of my best friend's ride. Of course, I do that now, mostly, too, because I fucking HATE driving. Does it count as being a scrub if you hate driving, and that's the reason you're hanging in the passenger side? Would it be better if I sat in the http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2015/10/cant-get-no-love.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-4302041259658516505Tue, 06 Oct 2015 13:00:00 +00002015-10-06T09:00:07.958-04:00How was your Friday night? Mine was terrible, thanks. I got stung by a wasp that was IN MY HAIR. I fucking hate nature. Yeah, so I thought I'd be a grown up and go to the market to get some fresh fruits and veggies to make for dinner. Instead, I end up getting stung, having a panic attack, going to urgent care, and also involving my neighbor. The husband was at work, and was going to be latehttp://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2015/10/friday-night-is-for-relaxing-right-sure.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-3013690759865455915Tue, 29 Sep 2015 13:00:00 +00002015-09-29T09:00:02.044-04:00The husband was away this past weekend. The girl, too, obviously. I spent the weekend alone, except for those goddamn cats who are making it their goal in life to get on my very last nerve. I'm not a good sleeper. I used to be a good sleeper. I'd easily sleep in late - until midday. That stopped even before I had the girl. I wake up a lot during the night and read for a while until I fall http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2015/09/to-sleep-perchance-to-dream.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-5126096148398160058Wed, 23 Sep 2015 13:00:00 +00002015-09-23T09:00:07.358-04:00Women's clothing is THE WORST. The worst. It's so hard to find things that don't have superfluous stitching or that actually fit well or that are not made of polyester. I love these pants. I love them because they fit absolutely perfectly. No gap in the back. Not tight or too high or low at the waist. Perfectly hemmed for my favorite shoes. They have pockets, despite being dress pants [WOMEN http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2015/09/ill-never-quit-you.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-8368561969002293910Wed, 16 Sep 2015 13:00:00 +00002015-09-16T09:00:06.835-04:00There are few things more depressing or stultifying than municipal buildings built in the 1970s. God. What was wrong with people? Cocaine can only be blamed for so much. ******* Oh, my god, I DO NOT CARE that your kid is an honor student. NO BODY CARES. Your kid doesn't even care. Especially the middle school one. PS Your dog is not smarter than that person's honor student. Your dogs eats http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2015/09/life-in-these-damn-burbs.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-4182396461853782753Thu, 10 Sep 2015 13:00:00 +00002015-09-10T09:00:04.151-04:00Over the summer, I had to take the girl to the doctor for her physical, because school, and she had to get a TB test, because she'd gone to Spain [lucky, lucky child]. You remember how they used to give you those four-pronged electrical outlet TB tests? They don't do that anymore. Kids these days. They have it so easy. Anyway, the thing that's still the same is that you have to go back to get http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2015/09/medical-mysteries.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-2160841767433029029Fri, 04 Sep 2015 13:00:00 +00002015-09-04T09:00:08.752-04:00I hate Casual Friday. I know I'm probably alone in this, but I don't care. The rest of you are wrong and I am right. People cannot be trusted to understand what they are supposed to wear. Sure, it seems very Big Brother-y to have to follow an HR dress code, but it wouldn't exist if people didn't think it was ok to wear leggings to work. IT IS NEVER OK TO WEAR LEGGINGS TO WORK. Seriously. Stop http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2015/09/casual-friday.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-330718386512944162Thu, 27 Aug 2015 13:00:00 +00002015-08-27T09:00:03.821-04:00Just had my yearly mammogram. I can't stress the importance of this enough, despite the discomfort and the possibility that some old lady will try to steal your dress. WHAT? Yes, here it is again, an oldy but a goody: That Time That I Actually Could Have Used the Fashion Police.http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2015/08/yearly-motivitation.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-3214668419599688823Thu, 20 Aug 2015 13:00:00 +00002015-08-20T09:00:03.084-04:00I always get so proud and happy for people who get glowing reviews in the New York Times. (I die of shame for the ones who get the not so great reviews.) But those who get great reviews? I mean - how awesome is that? That must feel incredible. I know, I know, you're supposed to NOT let externals validate you and your accomplishments, and sure, that's a worthy goal, Mother Theresa, but the http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2015/08/external-vs-internal-validation.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-889980889993190446Sun, 16 Aug 2015 19:44:00 +00002015-08-16T15:44:58.849-04:00The girl is heading off to college next week. She has not accepted my idea of Homeschool College as being a solid substitute for going away. I find that unacceptable. We've had a good summer. Almost no fighting or yelling or sass. It's been . . . nice. Truly. Lots of lazing around when we're all home, watching movies and talking about the world. Spending time at the pool, where I do my water http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2015/08/fly-away.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-308923117915686241Sat, 07 Mar 2015 23:26:00 +00002015-03-07T18:26:03.141-05:00HI! REMEMBER ME? I USED TO WRITE HERE. I'm back. What have I been doing? The usual life stuff - work, parenting, marriage, etc. I also had some pretty intense surgery where I had my gall bladder removed because it was inflamed and full of giant stones and my liver had GROWN AROUND IT SO DISGUSTING THIS IS WHY NO ONE LIKES LIVER. Anyway, I'm back, bitches. Here's a story that will get you up tohttp://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2015/03/is-this-thing-on.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-615919258549589176Tue, 02 Sep 2014 12:30:00 +00002014-09-02T08:30:02.469-04:00The girl is entering her final year of high school. She's boarded out of state since she was 14. Each year, it has been paradoxically harder to send her off. I think it's because each year, I realize that she is becoming an adult, an adult who is in charge of her own life, a life that will include me a little less as it goes on. It is fucking painful. What makes it worse this year is that this http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2014/09/letting-go-is-stupid.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-3911788254600032411Mon, 25 Aug 2014 12:30:00 +00002014-08-25T08:30:01.325-04:00I want to help keep this conversation alive. This is the literal least I can do - I am not able to go to Ferguson and march and protest. I can, at least, remind myself and the people who read this that this is still happening. I can NOT forget. I talk to the girl and my husband, and I talk to other people. I tend to be mindful that I sit in a position of privilege and generally should just keep http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2014/08/ferguson.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-7809399981348801862Mon, 18 Aug 2014 12:00:00 +00002014-08-18T08:00:01.517-04:00I had all sorts of funny things to tell you, and then I forgot them all, because I wasn't writing them down. "You'll remember this in the morning," I'd tell myself, because I didn't want to move my arm and reach for the pen and notebook next to my bed. Of course I never remembered; I can barely remember what I needed to get at Costco, meaning we have a surfeit of paper towels but no walnuts, and http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2014/08/too-tired-to-lift-hand.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-1185288287494934093Wed, 13 Aug 2014 13:00:00 +00002014-08-13T09:00:03.593-04:00It's my birthday. You can still give me presents. I'll accept late gifts and cards. I'm generous that way. I'm 46. It's pretty awesome to be 46, and not just because I'm closer to getting my AARP card. But also for these 45 other reasons: 1. I truly don't give a shit about pretty much anything.  Well, besides the insane stuff I get panic and anxiety over. But I think that has less to do http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2014/08/you-say-its-my-birthday-yup-it-is.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-696441522445458511Thu, 31 Jul 2014 14:30:00 +00002014-07-31T10:30:57.764-04:00I don't sleep well. I haven't, for many, many years. Some nights I can fall asleep quickly, but wake up between 4-7 times - generally on the hour - until I finally get up for the day. Some nights I can't fall asleep at all until 3-4-5 am, or I fall asleep and wake up for good at about 3am and then spend then next day LAUGHING AND LAUGHING. [I am a slaphappy tired person.] Every once in a great, http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2014/07/sleepytime.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-2669891220653075940Tue, 08 Jul 2014 12:30:00 +00002014-07-08T08:30:00.916-04:00I've been down lately. There was a bit of time when I was so down I literally could not think of even one small thing that could take away that cloud of self-loathing. It was exhausting and, honestly, a little scary. I thought things that I hadn't thought in a long time - terrible, horrible things about myself and my life. I'm doing a bit better. I'm letting some things go and really focusing onhttp://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2014/07/ch-ch-ch-changes.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-6245921018360629989Tue, 01 Jul 2014 17:26:00 +00002014-07-01T13:26:00.307-04:00Having been raised in a culture where women are treated as 45th class citizens, I know what it's like to be dismissed and diminished and completely negated. I'd always thought, though, that adopting the American ethos, that being an American, would be an entree into a world where I would be treated fairly, with respect, with the understanding that I have worth. Fuck you, SCOTUS. Just fuck you. http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2014/07/goddamn-it-just-goddamnit.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-6597758269845033205Thu, 26 Jun 2014 12:30:00 +00002014-06-26T08:30:01.842-04:00It's been a long few weeks. I'm trying to be mindful, which means that I am trying to be the exact opposite of me. That shit is exhausting. Not only for me, but also for the people directly involved with me, whether they have the joy of listening to me bitch about sweating while I'm cooking [YES, IT IS ALL STILL FUCKING DELICIOUS] or the dubious joy of getting texts from me about hating every http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2014/06/i-totally-forgot-i-had-blog-too.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-1778927313881849893Wed, 11 Jun 2014 12:30:00 +00002014-06-11T08:30:00.643-04:00Many, many years ago, I loosened a molar. I actually remember doing it - I spent a lot of time grinding and clenching to keep from losing my goddamn mind during the throes of post-partum depression. One day, there was a shift in the back of my mouth, and I thought, "Well, great, now I'll be a toothless crone, too." In the years since, my molar has pretty much stayed in place. It wiggled a bit, http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2014/06/finding-love-at-dentists-office.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-9139288573888894378Tue, 03 Jun 2014 12:30:00 +00002014-06-03T08:30:00.448-04:00Mother in law: How did you and the husband meet? Me, looking around at MIL, FIL, the husband, and the girl, unable to think of a lie: At a bar. Everyone laughs. Me, because I can't keep my fucking mouth shut: It was dollar pitcher night. Some laughter, mostly from me, the girl, and the husband.  MIL: Well, where did you go on your first date? Me, thinking, does going back to his place http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2014/06/awkward-conversations.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-2305506143229614898Thu, 29 May 2014 12:30:00 +00002014-05-29T08:30:01.452-04:00I'm heartsick. I'm so tired. I'm grieving for these families who have lost their children. I am terrified at sending my child out into the world, because there are men out there who are terrible. Men who see her as property, as less than. They exist, and I know that, because I've been seen that way. All women have. #YesAllWomen I've been unfollowing a lot of people lately - people who believe http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2014/05/too-much-to-say.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-8223906869652787156Thu, 22 May 2014 12:30:00 +00002014-05-22T08:30:00.483-04:00I've been watching Hart of Dixie. No, I don't care what you think of me. Anyway, the other day I got to the last episode of the first season and SPOILER ALERT Zoe has sex with Wade and then George shows up and tells her he likes her and then he kisses her, but doesn't realize that Zoe has just slept with Wade and all I'm thinking is, "Doesn't he taste Wade's cock on her mouth?" This is where my http://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2014/05/you-probably-should-not-be-reading-this.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4342173666009236462.post-8860797267214632820Tue, 20 May 2014 12:30:00 +00002014-05-20T08:30:02.371-04:00So a couple of weeks ago [really? already?], I was in the Listen to Your Mother show in my area. It was pretty fucking awesome, and not just because I was there, although that's what my stalker tells me and he never lies. Anyway, as you may have gathered, I'm not a particularly touchy-feely type of person. Not one to "connect with people" or "play well with others" or even "stop hitting that guyhttp://thesuniverse.blogspot.com/2014/05/ruminations-on-ltym.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (Suniverse)8