The Sweet Cupcaker

Chocolate Bonbons

2013-06-07T03:00:00.000-04:00

It's not often that I take on the task of making candy. I think mostly the idea terrifies me and I always seem to remember how dirty my hands get during the hours of rolling and playing with melted chocolate. Candy can be complicated since melting chocolate is one of my least favorite baking events. It can so easily turn into something you didn't intend just if you mess up the melting process even slightly. That's a lot of pressure and I'm never a fan of wasted chocolate. So when I share recipes that I've found with you all, I try and pick not only delicious recipes but recipes that the average person can do in the kitchen. I'm no Ina Garden (no matter how many times I wish it) but that doesn't mean that we can't enjoy the same exquisite treats that a professional would. However, I, of course, lost this recipe so I'm sitting here really mad at myself. I know that it was only two ingredients, chocolate and cream, but I can't give you any more information than that. I'm so ashamed so I've attached another recipe that is just as delicious as a forgiveness gesture. Please forgive my idiocy.

Sour Cream Doughnuts

2013-06-05T03:00:00.000-04:00

If you don't love doughnuts, stop reading this. I don't even want to know you. Okay, I'm just kidding but seriously, who doesn't love doughnuts? I had been feeling a bit stuck this weekend about what would be next on my plate (what a pun). I'm not complaining about any of the goodies I bake but sometimes, I realize just how many chocolate chip cookies I'm baking/consuming so to give myself a bit of a challenge, I decided to try something that I don't often attempt: doughnuts. I had some leftover sour cream in the fridge so what better way to spend a Sunday night but preparing for Monday morning (and watching a ridiculous episode of Game of Thrones). The recipe is a lemon and sour cream one but you can leave out the lemon if you aren't looking for a citrus flavor. The best thing about the recipe is the simplicity. I often avoid doughnut making because one, it tends to be one of those efforts that intimidates me and I expect to take a lot of time and two, I don't want to blow up like a balloon. However, with this new addition, I may be a balloon a lot sooner than I thought. It's definitely a doughnut worth attempting so don't be intimidated.

Going Bananas

2013-06-03T03:00:00.000-04:00

There's a lot of irony in me writing this post about banana bread. I can very specifically remember sitting down and admitting that I didn't like bananas that much-- at least not in baking. I worked so hard to write eloquently about my distaste for bananas and how they weren't really a good addition to my creations but did them for other people to enjoy since the majority of the earth disagreed with me. It's now after what seems like my millionth banana bread that I've taken the time to self-evaluate and come to the conclusion that I'm a jerk. Bananas are amazing. I love eating them by themselves, with peanut butter, on toast, in yogurt. So why would I be so cruel to exclude them from my main food group? I think you guys may have known that I liked bananas in my baked goods before I did, thanks for telling me.

Rosemary, Goat Cheese & Fig Sandwich

2013-05-30T03:00:00.000-04:00

There's no way for me to begin to describe where this concoction came from other than emphasizing how much I just love these ingredients. I'll never fully understand where some of my ideas come from but this is one that I don't regret at all.

1. Toast your English muffin to your preference, I like mine a little less toasty than most.

2. Once toasted, add thin layers of cream cheese and fig jam.

3. Add arugula or other greens of your preference for a delicious crunch.

4. Scramble two eggs with a dash of rosemary, salt and pepper. Top the English muffin with eggs.

5. Sprinkle goat cheese to your liking.. which, like any normal person, would be a lot of sprinkles.

6. Drizzle honey mustard to complete your sandwich creation.

Enjoy at breakfast, lunch, dinner, or any other time that you like to eat.

Happy Memorial Day

2013-05-27T03:00:00.000-04:00

Happy Memorial Day everyone! There will eventually be recipes to add to this blog once again, it's just me being distracted and not being able to sit down for more than 5 minutes at a time. For now though, I hope you all have a safe and festive holiday celebrating those who risk their lives to give us ours. I'm feeling very grateful for all the things I have in my life today. Enjoy!

Red Velvet & Marshmellow

2013-05-15T03:00:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, you just need to stick to the basics. More often than I'd like to admit, I can overwhelm myself trying to come up with special new recipes and intricate ideas. It usually takes a while but it eventually occurs to me that the best recipes and desserts can often be the simplest. This recipe was an easy and quick one, instead focusing on something found here that makes your boxed cake mixes ten times better and this marshmallow frosting to add a little more to the red velvet. Learning how to give a boxed cake a more sophisticated and rich taste while still remaining as simple and quick as boxed cake should be is definitely worth noting in this recipe.

DIY: Fabric Headboard

2013-05-06T03:00:00.000-04:00

I'm very excited to share this new DIY project today. I happen to throw this together last minute on a recent Saturday afternoon and couldn't be more happy with the results. Working off of this standard (plus a mirror hanging kit), I met a nice gentlemen who helped me pick out a 1/2" thick piece of plywood and some painter's drop cloth from Home Depot and somehow, two hours later, I had a cushy and fabulous fabric headboard. It was like magic and the best kind of magic-- home goods magic. I'm now obsessed with it and can't wait to just be in my bed all the time. It feels luxurious and comfy. If only I didn't have to actually get out of my bed for things like food and... more food.

Escapades of a Rapid Tea Drinker

2013-05-02T03:00:00.000-04:00

I had a severe allergic reaction to spring last week. To put it in other terms, spring straight up punched me in the throat. So a lot of time was spent cursing the beautiful blooms and the creators of seasons and drinking NyQuil and tea in copious amounts. Tea, honestly, can make me feel better about almost anything and it certainly didn't hurt in my attempts to fight back against spring's evil split personality. However, I am afraid that my tea consumption is on the verge of an unhealthy addiction. Other things that lifted me through my brutal attack:

Shoes. Because what girl doesn't feel better with shoes?

Self-explanatory.

The Culprit. It's Too Pretty To Be Mad.

Best Friend Picnics Are the Best.

Happy May!

Rosemary Lemon & Fig Cheesecake

2013-04-29T03:00:00.000-04:00

I've been honest about not having a green thumb. I'm hoping that it's just underdeveloped but we will have to wait and see. Regardless of my stupid black thumbs, I love herbs and dream of the day where I have a garden like the Barefoot Contessa, full of herbs ready for picking to be added to my daily dinner party in the Hamptons. One of my favorite herbs is rosemary and recently I've been aiming to try to incorporate flavors into my desserts that don't necessary come from Hershey's or JIF so this week, I created my own little hybrid recipe with one of my favorite herbs, Rosemary.

It should be noted that I used a pre-made graham cracker crust for these treats but a delicious homemade cheesecake crust would compliment it perfectly. Either way you choose, this treat is a perfect compliment to spring with it's fresh and light ingredients.

Rosemary Lemon Fig Cheesecakes

16 oz. cream cheese, softened (I used a vegan cream cheese to reduce the dairy intake)

1 cup low-fat sour cream

½ cup sugar

1 Tablespoon lemon extract

(add combo of lemon zest and lemon juice if that's easier/preferred)

3 large eggs

2 tsp. fresh rosemary leaves, finely chopped plus more for garnish

Several tablespoons of fig preserves

Optional: your pickings of berries for garnish

Set oven for 325 degrees.

Add small layer of fig preserves to each crust (so I added to 6 mini crusts and bottom of big crust-- plan fig preserves accordingly)

Blend the cream cheese, sour cream, sugar, and lemon extract until well blended. Add eggs one at a time. Finally, add finely chopped rosemary until distributed evenly in batter.

Place crusts on rimmed baking sheets and fill each crust with batter. (I had plenty to fill 6 mini pie crusts and one regular pie crust)

Bake mini pies for 20 minutes, until just set and the edges are slightly puffed, and bake large cheesecake for 35 minutes, until just set and edges are slightly puffed.

Cool the mini cakes on a wire rack for 45 minutes and then refrigerate for 6 hours, or overnight.

Cool the larger cake in the oven for 1 hour, then let cool on a wire rack for around 30 minutes. Once cooled, refrigerate for 4 hours, or overnight.

When ready to serve, add berries or sprig of rosemary for garnish and enjoy.

Note: On a hot summer's night, try it with a small scoop of vanilla ice cream. It's worth it.

*Recipes used for this hybrid found: here and here

DIY: Midas Style

2013-04-24T03:00:00.000-04:00

It may not have been clear before but I love myself some gold. Strap on a green outfit and call me laddy because I should be a leprechaun. I love gold jewelry, gold decorations, gold everything. I might as well be that guy from the Austin Powers movie. So when I came across this DIY Gold Vase project, I went a little crazy. It's cheap and easy, therefore, you must try it. Cut to three days later and there are two gold vases, a gold candle holder, and a gold jewelry dish. I had to check myself into rehab for a gold and crafting obsession. I'm going to relapse, I'll go ahead and be truthful about that.

Mother Nature

2013-04-22T12:00:00.000-04:00

Don't forget to celebrate Earth Day today by thinking how you can give back to that big giant woman that lives us life. Even if you are giving back in the simplest ways, you are one step closer and making a positive impact towards everyone living in an earth-conscious way. We often forget and take advantage of the place that provides us life but today is the perfect day to change your relationship with Mother Earth and give her the love she deserves.

Best. Cookies. Ever.

2013-04-22T03:00:00.000-04:00

I've been baking and blogging for almost two years (holy crap) and yet, I still feel like I'm learning tons every time I try something new. There's always room for improvement and new techniques for me to learn to have everything I make taste it's best. So recently, I've really been focusing on taking my time in the kitchen-- not rushing through recipes and spending time learning what works best for me. I cannot be certain that it's from this new attitude that these cookies were made into the best. cookies. ever. or if it's just the best recipe I've ever come across but seriously, these cookies are the best. We've discussed before my search for the perfect chocolate chip cookie and although these are a mixture between peanut butter cookies, oatmeal cookies, and chocolate chip cookies, it's a worthy substitute.

From all of this new kitchen reflection, it's important to remember when making these cookies, take your time creaming the butter and sugars. Start by whipping just the butter and slowly add sugar just a little at the time. I have found that this process makes the creaming process much more even and your baked goods come out moist and delicious. Also, it's important to note that these cookies won't look done when you pull them out of the oven but trust your instincts. They will finish on the pan while cooling and this will give them the perfect texture for days to come, instead of hardening after only a few. You will not be disappointed by these and will, in fact, realize that these are the Best. Cookies. Ever.

Lucky

2013-04-19T03:00:00.000-04:00

I'm a lucky girl. Sometimes, it's easy for us to forget things that like in daily life. We are so focused on our busy lives or dramas that we can be absorbed in other things and forget the simple yet great things we have. In light of the past week filled with sadness and loss, it's important to remember that there is so much good in our lives and even when I'm going through the worst things, I'm a lucky girl.

Things I'm Loving Right Now: April Edition

2013-04-17T03:00:00.000-04:00

I really love Spring. No, I mean it. I really, really love Spring-- like hands in the air, jumping on a yellow couch with Oprah and my ten million closest friends love. There isn't much better than days with perfect temperatures, baseball, and opportunities for brunch outside. To celebrate this month right, I'm really appreciating:

Braids

Braids are such a girly way to be super lazy with your hair. Plus, it makes me feel like a fairy or something-- not of the True Blood variety, just to clarify.

CocoPPA App

I spent an hour just messing with my phone's wallpaper with this app but it sure does make your Iphone look pretty.

Flowers

It pains me to admit to you all that I believe that my thumb is, in fact, green-less. I know, it hurts. Regardless, I love flowers and plants and look at them "green" with envy (pun!) that I can't seem to take care of them, even when I try. Personal favorites include peonies and hydrangeas.

Brunch

I wasn't kidding around about brunch. These women know how to do it right and I almost want to hate them for coming up with such an amazing idea but then I can't because they love brunch as much as I do.

Artifact Uprising

This Colorado-based company makes beautiful books. I recently received my first (but not last) purchase full of some of my personal favorite photographs from the Sweet Cupcaker. Whether it's a wedding, a baby, or like me, pictures of baked goods, they help you create simple and classic photo books that look good enough to be coffee table-worthy.

Bloglovin'

2013-04-16T23:39:00.002-04:00

Takes me enough time to get around to the things that everyone has been doing for ages apparently! If you have an account, please feel free to... Follow my blog with Bloglovin !

Marbled

2013-04-15T03:00:00.000-04:00

There have been certain questions or battles that are timeless through the ages, good vs. evil, paper or plastic, chocolate or vanilla. This last question is something that I personally struggle with daily. Who am I kidding? Chocolate always wins for me. However, I'm not discriminatory so I gladly appreciate vanilla as much as the next sane person.

The question recently became quite the conundrum the other day as I prepared for a little family get together. I wanted to make a nice dessert but didn't know what was appropriate. To try and find a nice balance between all of the options, I decided on a nice pound cake. Who doesn't like pound cake-- a simple and classic dessert that can still be creative with certain added ingredients. I found several delicious options that I plan to try later but decided to stick with a simple "twist" -- Marbled Pound Cake. You really don't have to decide between chocolate and vanilla sometimes, you just have both.

Striped & Tufted

2013-04-12T03:00:00.000-04:00

A few years ago, I received my grandmother's giant square ottoman. I had always loved the ottoman and can remember countless childhood days laying on it dreaming of my future as a mermaid, minus a giant sea witch. When I received the ottoman for my own a few years ago, I was excited yet befuddled. What was I gonna do with it? The fabric could be donated to the Smithsonian as an artifact from the 1970's and didn't really necessarily match my design personality. So there it sat, far away from me for years because I didn't know what to do with it. As a poor young woman, I wasn't going to pay to have it reupholstered. I wasn't Martha Stewart, for goodness sake. I was just going to hold onto it until it magically transformed like a caterpillar into a butterfly. And so I waited.

Until recently when it dawned on me that I, in fact, wanted to become Martha Stewart (minus the conviction and ankle bracelet) and had taken on such tasks before. So, it only took me three years to tackle the job but I finally took on the responsibility of reupholstering this timeless piece. Remember, never judge a book by it's cover because with just an updated fabric and a few (or a lot of) tufting how-to videos, this ottoman has become my new favorite project and a great conversation starter. Somewhere, I feel Martha would be proud.

*Find great ottoman upholstery tips here or here

Reading Corner: An Object of Beauty

2013-04-10T03:00:00.000-04:00

I recently finished Steve Martin's third novel, An Object of Beauty, and I have to admit it wasn't anything like what I was expecting. Although I knew it wasn't supposed to be a comedic story, I imagined Steve Martin's silly comedy seeping through even if just in his writing style. I was pleasantly surprised when the novel was nothing like that.

A story about a young woman, Lacey Yeager, steering her way through and up the art world of New York City during the 1990's and 2000's was both enlightening to a world that I know nothing about and beautifully told. Narrated by her bland and platonic male friend, Daniel, Lacey is presented as a character that you aren't necessarily rooting for. She makes questionable choices and often is illustrated as someone who cares a bit too much about the money and status of the art world. Yet, Martin does an excellent job of presenting the world as more than what can so often be conceived as money and status-driven by those of us who are ignorant of that realm. Both through his eloquent descriptions of Lacey and the work that she admires, Martin draws you into the beautiful, successful, and seemingly lonely world of Lacey Yeager. As the story ended, I found myself questioning how I really felt about Lacey, about art, and about the pressure we put on our dreams and the definition of success. I'm still not sure I can put my finger on how I feel but I like a book that challenges me in that way-- questioning more than just the subject we read but the beliefs that we live everyday.

It isn't the Steve Martin that you recognize in anything but name but you will be dazzled by Martin's intelligent and smooth story that paints a beautiful picture much like the ones he describes.

The Penny Ledger

2013-04-09T12:29:00.000-04:00

I'm very excited and honored to be a guest blogger on The Penny Ledger today, speaking about my musical selections and how terrified I am when someone asks me what music I like. The Penny Ledger is a great new site where we can all relate as twenty-somethings. Go now and follow them on Twitter and Facebook and Pinterest. Plus, find my article here and their main page here.

Double Trouble Chocolate Cookies

2013-04-08T03:00:00.000-04:00

There really isn't much that can compete with grocery store made cookies. Somehow, they always create a texture and consistency that seems impossible to reproduce. I can account for about 65% of all of my baking going towards finding cookie recipes that resemble anything close to grocery store cookies. I'm constantly trying and retrying and retrying cookie recipes for that golden ticket. Now, let me set the record straight-- I love completely homemade recipes and often take preference in these recipes over boxed or semi-homemade versions just because I'm incredibly hard to please. However, upon finding this recipe that uses a box of fudge chocolate cake mix, I think my mind can be swayed. I can't honestly say if it was the cake mix or just the combination of all of the ingredients or my magical cookie dance that made such a delicious and drool-worthy texture but as soon as I removed the cookies from the oven, I knew I had achieved grocery store status. I'll gladly take semi-homemade if I can create cookies like this every time.

Reading Corner: I Was Told There'd Be Cake

2013-04-03T03:00:00.000-04:00

I will be the first to admit, I was drawn to this book based off of the title. Sadly, anything that includes cake entices my interest -- something I should probably re-evaluate. However, when I picked up Sloane Crosley's first collection of essays, I was excited at the prospect of a new collection of comedic going-ons by a female writer. I was imagining a collection similar to reading Mindy Kaling's diary.

Crosley's essays do not necessarily fit into that description, lacking the bubbly exuberance of Kaling's writing, but her genuine and almost straight-laced delivery makes you feel as if you are listening to your friend's problems over a cup of coffee. Discussions on things you can relate to, things you can't relate to, and things so different, you somehow relate without relating makes the collection a great puzzle put together to create a beautiful picture. The humor in the swings that life throws at your jawline, the weirdness of people that you don't know or thought you knew, and the honesty to realize your own flaws and issues are the great things that pop out of these stories. Crosley's collection only emphasizes that life may not always be the prettiest picture but it sure is great.

Itchings

2013-04-02T03:00:00.000-04:00

Today is inspired by all of those travel itches that arise in me everyday. If I didn't have such a horribly knotted back, I think I'd like to live on airplanes, trains, and in hotels. I love the idea of being a wanderer and love to be in places just observing everyday life in such grand places that I romanticize in my mind.

Pickle Dip

2013-04-01T03:00:00.000-04:00

It took me a while to warm up to pickles. As a child, pickles and I didn't really get along. There was the whole looking disgusting bit-- that definitely tripped me up as a child who constantly questioned food with, "What is this green thing in there? What about the red thing?". Plus, at restaurants, they were always served on the side with chips. Subsequently this always led to the dampening of my Lay's with weird vinegar pickle juice. As an eight year old, there was little else you could do that would be taken so offensively. Don't mess with my salt intake, peeps. Now as an adult and an avid lover of anything soaked in vinegar, I've been pickled. Recently, I found this amazing pickle dip recipe-- something I have used now several times at different events. A quick and easy option when friends and family come over and a sure fire way that you can eat your pickles and chips in harmony.

*Vegan-friendly: substitute cream cheese for a vegan cream cheese option, like Daiya Foods

Balsamic Caramelized Onion Caprese Pizza

2013-03-29T03:00:00.000-04:00

That was a mouthful. Honestly, you don't need to be concerned with the long name for this pizza because your mouth will be so full that you won't even worry about it. What I really love about this recipe is how easy and quick it is without compromising on taste. It's really your preference when it comes to the crust and pizza sauce-- I love this no-yeast pizza dough but you can use store bought for these ingredients.

Simply warm a medium sized skillet with a little olive oil and balsamic vinegar. Once warmed, place slices of red onion in the pan until soft, about 10 minutes. Assemble the rest of your pizza-- sauce, big slices of tomato, shredded mozzarella, and basil. Add your caramelized onions and drizzle additional balsamic vinegar over the entire pizza. Place in a 400 degree oven for 8-12 minutes and you've just created one sweet dinner.

This recipe isn't rocket science but it is worth sharing when it tastes so good.

Top Five Super Awesome Female Characters in TV and Film That Make Me Want to Kick Someone’s Butt and Become a Full Fledged Feminist

2013-03-28T03:00:00.000-04:00

I am not a feminist in the traditional terms. I shave my armpits and can’t stand when women refuse to do so in protest of societal expectations. I like shaving my armpits--it’s for me, not society. Although, I’m pretty sure society isn’t complaining. Either way, I’ve never really felt like I was swayed too strongly by feminist arguments. Hey, I love being a woman and I love all of the women in my life, especially when they are strong role models for what a woman should be, I just don’t like being so angry all the time.

However, after recently going through a rough time, I’ve started thinking more and more about female roles and how a woman’s confidence should not be defined solely from the relationships she has with men or by judging their worth against their fellow women. A woman’s confidence should be found in the accomplishments she achieves for herself, the way she treats other people-- especially her fellow sisters of womanhood, and the qualities that make her who she is. Encouraging that kind of confidence in women, especially young women, is what we need to aim for and something that would lead to a beautiful new world for women everywhere full of sleepovers, dance parties, and significantly less break up drunk dials.

Since I’m a film and TV junkie, I compiled my list of the top 5 best “I am woman, hear me roar!” characters that have actually left me with chills feeling so amped up that I’d like to go take on an army, a horrible serial killer,a marathon, or even just my local gym.

5) Mulan, Mulan

Yeah, I included a Disney movie but let’s be real here, Disney has created some seriously strong female characters over the past twenty years. Belle, from Beauty and the Beast, was a strong, independent woman who had a strong intellect and won over Beast’s heart by challenging him instead of serving him. Ariel , from The Little Mermaid, was an adventurous free spirit who didn’t challenged stereotypes and stigmas. Tiana, from the Princess and the Frog, was a hard-working woman looking to make her own business dreams come true. However, we really have to stick with the best woman moment to come from Disney. When Mulan uses Mushu (Eddie Murphy, at his best) to send a rocket into the side of the mountain, destroying most of the Hun army, and then proceeds to look at the leader, Shan Yu, with some serious “sass face”, I wanted to get up and kick some “hunny buns” too. There was nothing cooler than watching a woman take down the most top-heavy man in China with a shoe and some innovative thinking.

4) Beyonce, Life is But A Dream

There have been few moments in my life when I’ve felt an uncontrollable desire to rock a bedazzled leotard in public and dance like I’m on DWTS, though admittedly, there have been more than one of those moments in my life. After viewing the Beyonce documentary on HBO this weekend, I was blown away. As a viewer who wasn’t completely sold on Beyonce, I was curious to see how I would feel after watching the film. My conclusion: I may not be buying my daughter a $80,000 Barbie doll but I am definitely going to Beyonce when I need a confidence boost. In the documentary, her intelligence, independence, creativity, and business savvy mind only reminded me why women should walk around like divas... because we rock! How else can we wear bedazzled leotards with no irony and men still drool? Because we are awesome, that’s why. Not many songs or artists make me actually feel like taking on the world with a combo of dancing and hair whipping like a little “Girls (Run the World)”. Diva on, ladies.

3) Arwen, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

The nerd in me is about to take over this list. You have been warned. I believe the moment where Arwen races the Nazgul, protecting Frodo, gave me my first feminism chills at the tender age of thirteen. I will admit that I spent a majority of 2002 repeating her amazing quote, “ If you want him, come and claim him” to my mirror an ungodly amount of times. Unfortunately, I couldn’t summon the magical horse river explosion that she could but we all don’t get to be magical immortal elf creatures. Let’s also not forget that there isn’t much as powerful as a woman who is willing to forsake her immortal life to be with her mortal man. Regardless if it’s the dreamiest human in Middle Earth, it still says something to have female characters who are strong and fearless but also capable of showing the compassion and love that makes women the great creatures that they are.

2) Michonne, The Walking Dead

I can honestly say that I had a hard time choosing between female characters on The Walking Dead. I have continuously been impressed with Robert Kirkman’s creation because he doesn’t solely create women characters who need rescuing in this zombie-fied world. Both through the comics and show, Andrea and Maggie have been great examples of strong women who are staring fear and horror straight in the face and stabbing it in the brain. But let’s get real here, there really is no comparison to Michonne. Even in the short time that we’ve seen her on the show, there’s really nothing more “female-zing” than Michonne vs. The Governor (and they had to tone it down considerably for television compared to the comics). I will always respect a woman who is innovative enough to continue to tote around her zombie boyfriend by chopping off his arms and jaw so he won’t eat her brains. Plus, who can rock a cape like this chick?

1) Eowyn, The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

“I am no man” is, by far, one of my top quotes of all time. When Eowyn, rejected by Aragorn for the above-mentioned Arwen, goes into battle with the boys against a terrifying and overwhelming Mordor army, I was inspired. When she figured out how to take down the steroid-ridden Elephants, I was flabbergasted. But when she takes on the Witch-king, who coincidentally just killed her uncle, King Theoden, I was never as proud to be a woman as in that moment. I couldn’t even do justice by summarizing the interaction so I provided the dialogue (and succeeding woman chills) below (thanks to IMDB for the full account):

Witch-King: [takin Eowyn by the throat] You fool. No man kill me. Die now.

[Merry stabs the Witch King from behind, the Witch King shrieks and falls to his knees. Eowyn rises and pulls of her helmet, her hair falls down over shoulder]

Eowyn: I am no man.

Then she proceeds to stab him in the face. Seriously, the only way this could be better is if it was Beyonce under the helmet and she stabs him with her bedazzled leotard on and “Single Ladies” playing in the background.