The Tales of Missus P.

Fear of work and the writing routine

2013-06-17T10:43:00.001+01:00

Another sunny, Summer day in the North East. It got chilly the past few days, especially after the rain, so some sunshine is nice to see again.

I had an interview for a Teacher of English job that I could have gone to today. I got my mini-lessons PowerPoint and discussion ready last night. Last week I even emailed the receptionist who sent me the interview letter that said, “Please confirm your attendance and ask any me any further questions.” I asked if it was a problem to bring handouts that needed Xeroxing. I never got a response.

Now, I would have never dismissed a job interview before in my life, but these days I have a better feel for a potential goal. Before, I was just grasping at straws and trying to get a full-time job because it seemed like the right thing to do. Of course, I always ended up with the, “you’re not mean enough for high school” critique.

It’s not to say that my main reason for not going on the interview was just “fear” of having the same thing happen before. I hate the word “fear” being thrown around so much. Fear to me is an illogical “what-if?” When someone has reasons for not doing something, or hesitation, or concern, people love to say, “You can’t be afraid. Do it because you’re a warrior/fierce/insert any other trendy cliqued term for a strong and powerful woman on Radio 1.” Driving in the U.K. could potential lead to an accident if I hadn’t learned how to do things properly (and I’m still learning, mind you.) That’s not something to be dismissive as, “Oh you silly thing, don’t be afraid.” That’s like saying, “Oh it’ll be fine. Just jump off that bridge without checking that your harness is secured. You’re being ridiculous!”

My “fear” of taking a full-time job is that I’ve not been successful at the high school level before. I liked it, but I’m not good at it. Maybe at some point, somewhere, I would be, and that job may have been the right school for me. More than likely not. And if I were working, I’d have stress, exhaustion, no time for myself, no time for Steve, and no holiday in Florida.

So, rather than waste my time or anyone else’s, I didn’t go.

Besides, I’d rather have a temporary position at a Primary School to bone up on my chops there. I was considering taking some SEN courses online to get the much-desired UK training, but I don’t know if it would help matters that much.

Anyway, with that said, back to the task at hand: the writing.

I have a new bookshelf (Thanks, Steve!) One of the many how-to books I own, is No Plot? No Problem! Since my biggest obstacle is procrastination (always has been) I liked how Baty acknowledges that being a full-time writer at home gives you all the time in the world to do everything but write. That’s me and I’m so glad I’m not the only one since writing at home can keep you away from the rest of the writing world. (Especially when people love to give you blow-by-blow accounts of their book on Twitter as they write it.)

Having a routine each day would be handy, as I try to do now on my days off when I get my blog entries for this site and bookblogarama done. Then I go off to Starbucks in the afternoon and do some actual work. The outlining and the motivational how-to reading, along with the reading for entertainment, all has to fit in the day somewhere as well.

So, I’m curious. What kind of routine do any of you have for getting writing done in the scenario otherwise known as life?

Finally, LiveHacked’s newsletter today references Creating Characters: How To Build Story People and gives some good advice about character building:

Another helpful tip I picked up long ago was the idea of writing out your character's details 100%, then using only 10% of it in your book. It's more of a general concept than a hard-and-fast rule, but it's helped me immensely to separate extraneous character detail in my novel (which the readers don't need or want) from helpful character-building dialogue and inner thought.
To aid in this process, you can literally write an "interview" with your character(s), answering it as if you were them. Fill out bios, add life/career/work details, and as much information you'd like. It'll be nice to "know" your characters before you start writing them into your story, and it's perfect fodder for series-based novels!

Supply teaching plus writing - making my own work schedule

2013-06-12T12:42:00.001+01:00

I just turned down a temporary job working with kids who are acting for the BBC. First of all, the hours could be from 8:30-7PM at night, and secondly I wouldn’t have my July or Sept holiday time that Steve and I have already scheduled. It sounded like a cool job but, nah, that’s not for me.

In fact, I’ve been quite okay with my job situation as of late. The Primary School I’ve been frequenting has been really fun to work in, so I put my application in with them. Now that I have the car more supply work has been coming in. Steve and I discussed my goals and if I really wanted a full-time teaching job or if I’d prefer to just stay in day-to-day and temporary work as I have been.

Full-time teaching takes a lot out of you. In fact, I just read this great article on Tumblr called Please, please, stop saying these things to teachers… It talks about how freaking tough the job is, and how misunderstood educator’s issues and complaints can be. Yesterday they announced that England will be changing their GCSE testing again and Year 7 will be the first to feel the brunt of it next school year. I’ve taught plenty. I’ve gone through the enormous pressure of good English test scores, working in boring workbooks, and doing nothing but test prep for 90% of the school year. You work all day, then have to grade papers and plan your lessons at night. You’re exhausted, you spend no time with your family, and you’re told what more you could be doing.

But I’m still going to an interview for an English teaching job next week. Now, England’s interview process is much more complex than anything we have in Florida. They schedule out a morning for all candidates to do a 25-30 lesson for students they’ve never met before, then arrange a discussion for another group of students, then have interviews with the Headteacher, Head of English, and anyone else who may need to be involved (so it can end up being a panel of five who take turns asking you questions together or in separate rooms.) Then they make another shortlist, then ask the final candidates to come back for interviews before choosing who they want. It’s enough pressure to make me nervous, just typing it out.

However, I’ve learned that Headteachers want someone who is British, British trained, with British school experience. I understand that though. Irish teachers are moving to England to find work and you have Newly Qualified Teachers in England already trying to find work. My oversees, clueless self is not going to be one of their first options for a full-time job. As Claire from Steps put it on Celebrity Big Brother, “People don’t like to admit it, but the British are very patriotic.” Again, I don’t blame them. It’s just frustrating to get your hopes up just to have a Headteacher sit in on your well-prepared mini-lesson for a good five minutes before walking out the door (really happened) without “having a chat” or any kind of interview whatsoever. Waste of time and energy.

Supply teaching, on the other hand, has the beauty of walking away from work each day without anything to take home. Granted it’s nerve-racking to go to a new school, not knowing who the kids are and if there are any kind of lesson plans left for you. Kids don’t respect supply teachers as much, especially at the Secondary level, but, again, if you don’t like the school and the kids act up, it’s really not your problem. Leave the day, tell the agency not to send you there anymore, and that’s that. It pays less and there’s not a lot of room for advancement, but it’s not the worse job in the world. (It certainly beats a £56 a day office job that I’ve been offered in the past – less pay and longer hours with no room for career advancement.)

Also, my main objection to a full-time job is I have time to do things like this. I’m sitting here, at home, at my computer with my cup of hazelnut Dunkin’ Donuts coffee that was sent to me from Florida. I can chose to have a “me” day for blogging, reading, and the all-important task of writing. I can take my netbook down to Starbucks and hang out for an hour, typing away. I can take our holidays whenever Steve has time off work. We can go to Florida for our anniversary, and I won’t have any outside work to plague me at home.

It’s a good middle ground in the dilemma of writing vs. teaching. Granted, I’d scoop up a job if it were offered in October or so if it were at the little Primary School I like so much. But otherwise, I’m not really fussed.

I’ve considered starting a supply teaching log, but I have a hard enough time keeping bookblogarama updated when I’m otherwise preoccupied. Maybe later.

Teaching in the afternoon

2013-06-07T10:12:00.001+01:00

As I mentioned last post, I found a temporary supply teaching job at a Primary School this week. I can’t believe it took me this long to figure out that teaching 11 years and younger is a much more rewarding, and satisfying job. The school I’m in isn’t an “outstanding” rated school, but the staff enjoys being there and the students really are very sweet. Granted, we’ve had an incident about every day with arguments, tears, and name-calling but that’s nothing that I can’t handle. I’ve seen some unsettling things at the Florida schools with kids who have just as difficult home lives as some of there here, but having to deal with the tiffs between Year Six students is no great shakes.

Since last Thursday, we’ve caught mayflies in the river, made aquariums to keep them, gone on bug hunts in the garden, dug up weeds, played tennis, played rounders (which I quickly changed to a game of baseball), played soccer (I mean football), watched chickens hatch, got hailed on in the play yard, learned about puberty, and, as far as I’m concerned, had a good week. (Minus a handful of incidences, of course.)

This week has come to an end though, and after my stint here, I plan on leaving my application in case a permanent job pops up over the summer. I’ve let the Headteacher know I like being there and I’d really enjoy working there as full-time staff. You know when you just have a good vibe from a school? I was terrified before to go into schools with little kids, but now I feel good walking in each morning. I’m so glad I figured all of this out.

This isn’t to say that I don’t miss writing. I really do. The thing that I was trying to get across in my last post about teaching and writing is that there just isn’t time for both. Even though I’m not making lesson plans and/or grading papers, it’s still an exhausting job. I’m going to be glad to take my netbook into a Starbucks again and get back to doing what I’ve aimed to do.

Of course there are ways to do both, it just takes longer to get the work in progress finished. Then there’s the editing – oh the editing. I’ve mentioned as well that I’m really trying to outline the projects now, but that itch to just get down to the actual writing part is too tempting. I have to at least piece some ideas together in a long-handed, sloppy form.

Anyway, I have a couple of hours before I finish out my week with Year Six. This afternoon we’re working on the end of the year play. Here’s hoping everyone can stay on task and enjoy it as much as I do.

One last thing I should mention: driving.

I am much more confident than I was but, Good Lord, Newcastle and all it’s roundabout options and motorways is a nightmare. I panicked the other day when I went to pick of Steve and got stuck in that Quayside traffic. I can’t stand that I don’t trust myself and I don’t take my time to see what the Garmin is saying. I’m afraid of going the wrong way down a road, so if I get lost, I won’t get on a road unless I see someone else driving down it. (Lord knows not every road is clearly marked.) But I figured it out after going all the way around the Civic Centre and back. The next day I inadvertently screwed myself up again (that traffic going across the bridge sort of forces you to follow along with everyone else because I can’t clearly see where I’m meant to go.) But I kept calm and carried on, as they say. I went through City Centre and made it back slowly but surely.

Some days that driving makes me more nervous than going to a new school, but I’ll get accustomed to both of them eventually.

Working and writing–can it be done?

2013-05-30T15:54:00.001+01:00

I’m going to throw this little post in while I have the chance. It’s half term and I’ve been at home for two days, yet I’ve still not gotten much done. I swear, the day goes by quick even when you’re not working (I can’t imagine how quickly it goes with kids at home too!)

So, how do we find time to write?

I have an extremely narrow attention span. I can focus on only one thing at a time. (Right now, juggling driving and listening to the radio is an attempt if I don’t know where I’m going.) When I teach, I just don’t have time to think of sitting down to write at the end of the evening. There’s planning and grading, and even when I’m doing supply teaching, just being able to have time to paint my toenails and watch TV for an hour is crucial. Plus, I have to get to bed on time. I’m not one of those who can function on five hours sleep at all.

But I, like everyone else, want to do it all.

I left some ideas in a new notebook before when I wasn’t working. I’d been reading Outlining Your Novel, and I’d had some good ideas to work with. Then I got the car, then started getting supply teaching offers again, and I just did not open that notebook again. Actually, it wasn’t until last night that I was able to get back in the mode of what the project was about, and this morning I jotted down some things before I took Steve to work.

I only have the rest of today and tomorrow for my “me” time, so even if I get more on that outline done, I’ll at least have something to work with when I get less busy outside of the house. I at least have a little writing notebook in my purse that I take along if I think of something.

Anyway, if I’m MIA for a while, that’s what I’m up to. Some days I barely touch Twitter because I just get caught up in other things. I know writing is a choice and requires dedication, but having a career and a pay check is important as well. I guess that’s where the juggling comes in. I just wish they had some kind of natural ADD medicine I could take. I’m lucky if I get a chapter of a book read before I fall asleep most nights.

The driving begins

2013-05-28T11:33:00.001+01:00

It’s almost June and it’s gotten cold enough to switch the space heater on in the living room. Surely I will live to be a ripe, old age because I’ll never thaw out. Where is summer?

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted, but I have been busy living this thing we call, “life.” On Wed, the 15th of May, I passed my Practical Driving Test! Changing instructors was the best thing I ever did for myself. It only took 3 months of driving with her and I passed my test on the first try after the switch. She’s awesome and while I’m relieved to have that stupid test over with, I’ll miss my lessons.

So, after passing my test, I was exhausted emotionally - the whole process is a 40 minute drive that renders you mindless because you’re so freaking nervous. But I went to search for cars as I had been doing for a year since I started learning to drive.

Let me tell you what an absolute pain buying a car can be. First, I wanted to try the Kia Soul because it’s so stinking cute. They had a used silver one at Benfield and I took the Metro, then walked all over creation, including a busy highway, just to get to the car lot. The salesman was nice, and I drove on some quieter roads, just to get the feel of the car. I drove it pretty well, and I would have bought it, but Steve assured me that I should try out some others. I asked about the promotions they have for the Nissans there, but was told that the £115 a month sales on the Micras were only if you put down a huge £3000+ deposit. No thanks. I told them I’d be back for the Kia once my husband was available to look on Saturday. Of course the salesman wanted to drop the car off at the house to ensure we focused in on the one car, but I declined the generous offer.

I moved on to Evans Halshaw because we had looked at new Hyundais a while back. The salesman there was nice and he had to shoo off another salesman as we were looking (to which he apologized for his co-workers actions.) We really thought we’d get that i20, even after we looked at the Vauxhall Adam which was too small, but very cute. The salesman at the Vauxhall branch leaned in the window very intrusively as well, and we wanted to get out the minute we got in. Well, when I went back to Evans to look at used Hyundais, I noticed that few cars had any info on them. When I asked for the mileage on an i30, some super pushy salesman came out, stood in the door of the car so I couldn’t get out, told me all about how Evans was the best place to buy because people always come back. After sitting in the stupid car for 1 minute, the pushy salesman goes, “So, do you want it?” I really should have laughed at him, but instead I had to push past him to get out of the stupid car, and told him how I wasn’t going to buy anything until Saturday. He tried to get me to buy some weird looking Peugeot too which was and never has been in my consideration list. (No offense to Peugeot.)

After escaping the pushy salesman with the, “yeah, yeah, here’s my number, I’ll be back Saturday,” b.s. the salesman went, “Well when you come back Saturday, don’t talk to anyone else but me!” He also gave me his card twice within the minute I was there, and printed off info about the i30 and said Peugot for me to take home. I threw them out at the gas station next door. He’s called at least 20 times since that meeting as well. Next time he calls, I’ll tell him to bugger off.

Aside from being full of pushy salesmen, Evans also is in a really crappy area of town. On my way back to the Metro station, I also got accosted by yet another drunk who was being looked for by the police and wanted to pretend he knew me. I talked to Steve on my mobile as I walked to the Metro with a drunk dude with a shopping sack full of wine. I was ready to buy that Kia and forget ever taking public transport again after that. Good Lord, I must just look really nice or something.

Anyway, I went home and looked online for other cars I could compare with the Kia at Benfield. When you use their online chat, there’s one rep who contacts the local dealership about the car you’re interested in. When I went to chat the second time, they threw the original rep at me who was questioning me about the Kia. “Yeah, yeah, it’s fine, but can I see another car to compare it with?” Their site indicates that any car on any of their nationwide lots can be brought up to another dealership for viewing. I mentioned this in my previous posts on the history of my car ownership and my speculative U.K. car purchase that I have had 2 Toyotas in my past and both of them served me well. I asked Benfield if I could take a look at an Auris they had listed. They said they could but it was in Leeds and I’d have to pay them £100 to have it brought up to look at. What? No. I could go to the local Toyota dealership and look at hundreds of them for free.

And that’s what I did. I looked at two Aurises from Hodgson Toyota and chose a black one that I took through Northumberland on my test drive. (I didn’t realize Northumberland was that close because I’d never driven a car through there before.) The salesman was nice and not pushy at all. He drove me back and forth to the bus station as we went through my paperwork visit too. I like my Auris because it’s pretty much set up like my old Corolla that I sold when I moved to England. I picked it up on Saturday the 18th, just before they closed (we took a detour to the Toby Carvery and then slugged through traffic in the taxi.) Now it’s sitting out front with my “P” (for “passed my driving test” – my U.S. friends were confused by that) and my Hello Kitty magnet from EPCOT on it. It’s been well taken care of and I’m extremely happy with my executive decision to buy what I know.

As for the roads and the actual driving – oh my. Steve bought me a Garmin which helps me immensely, but I still get nervous and freaked out about getting in the wrong lane or taking the wrong exit. It’s not like being in Orlando and knowing, relatively, how to get back towards the coast to get back home. But now that I have a car, the supply teaching jobs have been pouring in. I’ve also been driving myself to teaching jobs, which is way better than taking the bus for an hour. My first assignment was to go up the highway/motorway to Alnwick (pronounced “Annick”) which was a 40 minute drive in the country. Basically it’s Virginia, just on the opposite side of the street up there. I was scared to death to do it, but I did. I took wrong exits and just followed the Garmin’s instructions to get back. Sometimes I get confused by what lane/exit to take because once you get in the roundabout you have options. I hate that. Tell me to go here and here for the A1. That’s all I need to know. Sometimes the exits aren’t even marked, you just have to hope that you followed the roundabout sign 50 feet ago and the lane markings correctly. (Yes, we have signs and writing on the lane. Confusing!) But I’m really enjoying working in Primary Schools so maybe they’ll hand me a job next school year or something. At least I can drive to it.

But anyway, I’ve been driving Steve back from work, and we’ve been able to do more, as I predicted. Yesterday we went back to Beamish. It took 10-15 minutes but I had to go on these super windy, tiny, hilly, narrow country roads to get there. I’ve seen roads like that in Ohio when I was little, but back then I wasn’t in charge. I had no intention of going 60 mph as the speed limit indicated. I took my sweet time and made it without having too much of a heart attack.

So that’s my story of the driving. I am still in the not 100% sure of what I’m doing mode but I’m not going to be too hard on myself – I’ve seen plenty of people who don’t look like they know what they’re doing either.

Pantsers, plotters, and a trip to Liverpool

2013-05-10T16:17:00.001+01:00

Until today, I didn’t realize there were actual terms for people who plot and outline their novels before they write them, versus those who dive straight in and let the book tell itself. I’m sort of in the middle of the road on this one. I put together ideas for scenes and how things will link together but I’ve never plotted out a whole story on paper before writing it. (During and after, yes.)

I started reading books about plotting novels because I have two half projects that are waiting to have a crescendo and a resolution. So I need to get some ideas on how to start making a good outline (not just a bunch of notes in bullets or Roman numerals) to get at least the current project’s first draft finished.

My question is, do you plot or fly by the seat of your pants? What do you think about either method?

I know King said he doesn’t plot, but he had The Shining solid in his mind before he started to write it. I’ve read books about formatting novels that were so dry and formulaic that there was no sense of artistic creativity at all. But a couple of books that I read the free samples of both were saying that plotting helps you be more productive (Lord knows I need help with that.) It can save you a ton of messy editing (I hate editing) as well. If you have the plot ready, scene by scene, then you know what to write. I’ve also been trying the method from 2K to 10K that suggests at least writing notes about what you should write for the day before actually going back to the novel. That helps.

Here are some books and articles that I’ve found on the subject so far:

PD James said, “Don't just plan to write – write. It is only by writing, not dreaming about it, that we develop our own style.” I agree that just thinking about writing doesn’t do the job, but isn’t planning worth something?

I also found this quote from Ten rules of writing fiction article too:

Only bad writers think that their work is really good. ~ Anne Enright

And our trip to Liverpool was great. We visited more of the Pick family, saw the beach, saw the Irish Sea, saw Wales (in the distance), and the wonderful City of Liverpool itself. The ride on the train was fine but, as usual, stupid people ruin the whole experience. (Why are people so loud and obnoxious on those things? Do they just not care?) Anyway, each day was sunny, warm, and perfect for a holiday. I’ve added my photoset here:

Beta readers and writing thieves

2013-05-02T17:03:00.001+01:00

I think a lot about Henry Miller’s writing commandments about how you should finish what you’re working on and not think about the other things you can write later. I know it’s common to just get bored, or stuck, or burned out on what you’re doing. I have great ideas, then stop and second guess myself (this goes for a lot of other things I do as well as for writing.) But I’m trying to read more and get myself through the project even though I admit to dabbling in something else yesterday.

Of course, I wrote a bit, felt guilty, and will go back to the current work in progress.

So, I was reading an article on beta readers at The Creative Penn. I don’t really talk about what I’m writing, except here and there to my husband or immediate family. I’m a fairly private person to begin with, so spouting off ideas to the wide world of Twitter makes the magic seem to disintegrate. (Stephen King had a quote about that in On Writing, but I can’t find it anywhere.) But I asked Twitter about it, and people said they’ve found their beta readers in old friends in real life as well as on Twitter.

I distinctly remember a girl on Twitter a while back saying that she had a “good friend” steal her book idea. It was something about how she would talk to this friend about writing, told the girl her ideas for her next book. Later on the friend has a new book with the same exact plot line as the first author. Of course the first author was appalled and hurt by the whole betrayal, but what could she do? Especially in the realm of self-publishing if you had someone read a draft of a novel, couldn’t they feasibly life the whole thing and make it their own? Would there even be any kind of way to copyright that (not like you’d get any money from it, but the whole idea is pretty wrong so you’d want to get the thing off virtual shelves.)

My questions today are:

If you have beta readers, how did you find them?
Have any beta readers or even supposed friends taken your ideas and used them as their own?

A Case of the Mondays on 29 Apr 2013

2013-04-29T13:38:00.001+01:00

It’s so nice today, so I’m eager to get our plans underway.

Monday (today) I had a dentist’s appointment. Everything is a-okay, and I just needed my front bottom teeth cleaned up a bit (I blame the Starbucks coffee.) I also have to update my bookblogarama. I also have Sims 3 to play, because that’s a huge necessity, of course.
Tuesday and Wednesday I’m free to take on any supply teaching jobs that may come my way. If not, on Tuesday I can go swimming finally for the first time this year, and Wednesday evening I have a chiropractor’s appointment.
Thursday is driving. Friday is hair appointment.
Saturday we’re probably going to look into getting a washer/dryer (I didn’t know such wonderful contraptions existed) and a bike for Steve.
Over the May Day holiday, we’re taking a trip to see Steve’s family. I love going on the train. I know it’s over-priced and a pain when you can’t sit down, but it’s just something that I really find interesting. Plus, I get to see sights. I could see sights with a car, you know, whenever I get one. Anyway, I’ll take pictures and video and post it here later on. Fun stuff.

So, Happy Monday to you all. Enjoy your next Monday off!

Video games, books, and cars

2013-04-25T10:34:00.001+01:00

Ah, it’s a nice, rainy day in England. I’m still wondering when a full attack of Spring will be upon us. I’ve been turning on the oscillating fan in the living room on at night, so I guess it’s getting a bit less like winter. Still chilly and windy so I need some sort of coat when I leave the house. After living in Florida for all those years, even if I wasn’t an outdoorsy beach person, it’s hard to live in a place that doesn’t have an inviting kind of day that makes you want to go outside.

Anyway, I’ve been playing The Sims 3 a lot lately. This has been my go-to obsessive game for years. When The Sims first came out, my poor PC couldn’t even handle it and I had to reboot it over and over. But the game was amazing fun, so it was worth it. There’s no skill involved in playing The Sims either; you just mess around in a little pretend world and screw up characters’ lives. Fun. Plus there are so many expansion packs, I’d work a couple of days just to buy them all. (No, I’m not kidding.)

Actually, I screwed up my back initially when I started playing The Sims again in March. I sat here at the computer desk for hours, leaning forward, then when I was on the coach watching The Hunger Games, I realized it was a bit sore. By the next week I was out for the count. Sims are fun, but not worth all that.

Also, I moved my book reviews and weekly reading memes to a new site: bookblogarama. I needed a fresh start because I see so many really well done book sites and I wanted one too. So I’ve started adding things to the Tumblr site too. Projects are nice to have, especially when they give you something to look forward to every day, and reasons to investigate things.

I went to City Library on Tuesday to investigate World Book Night. I wrote on my netbook in the cafe over my £2 Americano while I listened to the music in the atrium. I found no free book giving though (unless you could the books that you can borrow for free anyway.) I did check out Me Before You from the World Book Night display by the cafe so my mission was complete. I had to meet up with Steve so I didn’t stay for the Murder Mystery event they were having afterwards – that seemed fun.

And I’m still not test-ready because stopping on hills in a manual-shift car is just not an easy thing to do. So I keep practicing until I have this down pat, or I throw in the towel and opt for an automatic (which, in most cases, is considered a mobility vehicle in the UK.) But in order to keep my options open, I’m sticking to the stick shift and the steep banks. Incidentally, I found an article on USA Today called 10 cheapest cars: Why (almost) nobody buys them. that are supposedly they cheapest. They claim that, “the bottom-price model has a manual transmission. Few can or will drive a stick-shift nowadays.” Just the opposite goes for us in England. Also, USA Today sites issues with insurance that is different here too. Insurance is based on size of the car and its engine, so like a Fiat 500 is in the lowest price bracket.

But when I get my license, I’ll try plenty of them out. Now that both Steve and I have hurt our backs, I’m thinking a little car that sits low to the ground may not be the best choice. Sorry, Mini. Cute, fun, little Mini.

A Case of the Mondays on 22 Apr 2013

2013-04-22T08:00:00.000+01:00

I’m going to start a new label for my posts on Monday, just to keep myself focused on starting the week right. It’s so easy to slack off when you don’t have anything planned, or the written proof of that plan.

The following are my aims for this week:

Monday and Friday – driving lessons
Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday – available to do any supply teaching work that comes up. (The teaching agency told me they’d been quite busy, so chances are they’ll call me. Problem is they call in the morning when I have no clue what bus and where exactly I’m to be by 8:30. (Hence my need for the driving lessons.)
Wednesday night – I could go to one of the meetings through Northumbria University to look into EYPS training. Since I am not doing very well at full time teaching work as is, maybe having some training in England will help. However, Early Years includes nursery schools and changing nappies (diapers); something I’ve not done before when I was training to read, write, compare, catalogue, and shelve books all day.
Sometime during the week I’m going to have to go swimming, go to the gym, get some writing done at the cafe and such various other tasks that are standard for each week of my life.
I will end up playing Sims 3 as usual too which I see as a stress relief mechanism rather than a time wasting activity.

Happy Monday!

Taking care of a bad back

2013-04-21T15:46:00.001+01:00

In the past month, Steve and I have both been suffering from back trouble. I threw mine out in March when I was working at a Primary School (trying to put things in very short cupboards and sitting in very short chairs is a good way to do that.) But last Thursday, Steve had a whopper of an attack.

Steve had stayed home the week before last with body aches, plus the back feeling as if it was going to flare up. He rested and then went back to work without much trouble (taking the taxi to work, taking it easy, etc.) Thursday afternoon came around, and I was scheduled to go to the chiropractor at lunchtime. Steve called me up and said he’d hosed his back up really badly and I was going to have to come and rescue him.

I dashed down the hill, got some money and a taxi and headed to his workplace. When we got there his co-worker was helping him just get out of the building, so I knew he was bad off. When we tried to get him into the taxi, Steve couldn’t even sit, so I made the executive decision to call the ambulance. I figured if the cops want me to call 999 if a drunken man is shouting at me in a bus station, then calling them to come and rescue someone who is totally immobile isn’t out of order. I knew he was going to have to see a doctor, and I knew how bad off he had been before when he threw his back out last Spring, so I made my first emergency call in England.

After the dispatcher asked Steve a bunch of questions, his ride arrived. Two nice gentlemen in green uniforms helped him into the ambulance and gave him laughing gas to “keep his mind off the pain.” Then we proceeded to take our first ever British ambulance ride through Newcastle. I even joked that Steve knew how to show a lady a good time and it wasn’t even the weekend.

We arrived at the hospital, and the paramedic told Steve to take a couple of good hits off the laughing gas pipe before trying to get back down the ambulance steps and into a wheelchair. After I got us checked in, we waited in the A&E waiting room for a good while. The paramedic told us that for bad backs, the hospital usually just gives you a bunch of pain killers, but in his condition it was just fine by us, if he wasn’t having to sit at home in agony.

We waited for a total of 3 hours, and I had to eventually get Steve up onto one of the hospital beds while we waited in one of the rooms for the doctor to come by. Since I’ve been going to the chiropractor, I know a handful of tricks that alleviate some of the pain – lying instead of sitting is one of them. When the doctor finally came in, he wanted to see how well Steve could move around, and even had him get out of that bed by himself, which was agony for me to see and not be able to help him.

The doctor was so nice though, and he told us that a chiropractor was fine if we wanted to go, but to always find one who was officially licensed because anyone can call themselves a chiropractor without any credentials (I should have looked into that career before I started taking out loans for my college education.) Anyway, the doctor was sympathetic and said that muscle relaxants work really well but they don’t like to give them out because kids in Bigg Market love to take those as a party drug. (Something I never understood – wouldn’t you just want to sleep instead of go clubbing?)

Once Steve was up, he couldn’t sit again, and the doctor said he was going to give him some painkillers and suggested he get himself moving again, even if he starts taking up biking to get himself moving. He was in horrible pain after getting out of that bed on his own, but a nurse finally showed up with a little cup full of pills that I had to help him take because without holding on to his back, it would spasm. His whole body was contorted as well from the muscle contractions, so I knew he was worse off than he’d ever been. But after he took his medicine, we took a walk past Newcastle University and back into town. 30 minutes later, Steve was ready to stop at Starbucks and Krispy Kreme before heading back home (standing up on the bus worked well.)

Since then we’ve been hanging out here at home. I went to my rescheduled chiropractor appointment (he had credentials, by the way) and did more of my preventative measures so I don’t get myself in a bad situation as well. (Two of us being immobilized is just not going to work.) Now that both of us have had bad backs, we’re going to take the necessary steps to prevent the same problems in the future. Here’s what we’ve learned so far:

Lying is better than sitting. Lie back on a couch when watching TV.
Use cold packs at 10 minute intervals.
Take ibuprofen and/or paracetamol with codeine (I can’t take codeine because it gives me terrible stomach aches.) Some doctors won’t give muscle relaxants but even if they give you one to take the initial edge off, it’s worth seeing a GP (or even the doctor in A&E as was in our case.)
Don’t lift, carry, or bend over. Leaning forward in a chair is probably what caused the problem in the first place.
Sit back in your chair. Use a pillow behind your back, and even use a foot rest if if helps when you’re at a desk.
Bend with your legs. Put your hands on your thighs when getting back up.
Moving helps the muscles. Swimming strengthens the back. Biking is good as well (get a Dutch style city bike first.)
Don’t be a hero. If you can’t move quick enough to grab something, or can’t get up, that’s fine. Crawl if you need to. Ask for help.
Don’t try to do anything too strenuous too soon. Slow and steady wins the race. You can easily hurt yourself all over again by getting in and out of the tub, or getting up too quickly out of a chair.
Do back exercises that stretch your gluteus. Lying down means the gravity is going through your belly-button, not down your spine like some yoga moves that have your twisting in a sitting position (I have a friend in Florida who injured herself that way.)
If you see a chiropractor, make sure they have credentials as some chiropractors are just there to take your money.
Beds get blamed for the problem, but mostly the stiffness in the morning is from being stationary for 8 hours.

I hope no one has to deal with what we have, but if you do, I hope some of these things we’ve learned can help you. In these kinds of situations, being ignorant like we were, is not bliss.

My first UK car–which should I choose?

2013-04-15T11:58:00.001+01:00

From my last post, I mentioned that I have driven in Florida since I was 16. Now that I’ve been carless for 2 years and 4 months, I’m almost ready to take on the British road system. This means I can’t just go grab a car that I like off the lot, I have to take a lot into consideration. Size, price, reliability, gas mileage, number of doors, insurance price, tax price, and whether or not I can actually drive the silly thing.

Steve and I have a theory about Vauxhall Corsas – driving instructors must choose the hardest car to drive, so that you can drive anything one you pass your test. I’m suspecting the car I first learned on was a diesel. You couldn’t do anything in second gear, heck you couldn’t even change the gears. (My first instructor had two of them, both made audible clunking sounds and I had to hold the gear stick just right, otherwise it would not go into 3rd for anything.) You also have to dance your feet all around, constantly just to keep the car still with the clutch control. Even the turn signals were rubbish and you had to constantly mess around with those to keep them on (one click full down to turn it on, one half click down to turn it off or something stupid like that.) The set up for the headlights were all over the dash too, not just on the windshield wiper and turn signal levers at the steering wheel like every other car. Even Jeremy Clarkson said, “Vauxhall has never made anything decent.” Now that I drive in a better car (with a better instructor) I’d never consider buying a Corsa.

I’m learning on a 2010 Honda Civic now. Before, I was convinced that I’d never be able to drive anything larger, different, ect. than the Corsa but man, was I wrong. Even on the first lesson, I could hold that car still at a traffic light way, way easier than the Vauxhall. There’s a lot of ease to the pedals, and the gears too that make this car a contender for me whenever we start looking to buy. Granted, I would get a used one because the new ones are pricey. The 2010s aren’t bad, but the 2006s are a bit ugly. Plus, the back of the car has that spoiler in the middle of the window, so it’s kind of hard to see out of the back of it. I like the big side mirrors though (unless they come dangerously close to parked cars.) It’s also a bit too big I think but I don’t want anything too small like all the other hatchbacks around here are.

I know he’s the most popular car in the UK, and they’re really reliable, practical, etc. but the Ford Focus does not evoke any kind of emotion other than, “Bleck,” with me. They’re everywhere, and reviews say they’re cheap to service and maintain (a big plus) as well as being able to get a decent one for under £6000 (a huge plus.) But my parents owned a Ford Taurus once that died in a horrible way right after they bought it used. I kind of don’t trust Fords now (terribly unAmerican, I know) but I may have to get one of these if I drive it and like it. I still say it looks masculine and is a bit too big. (And ugly, don’t forget ugly.)

I love these little Minis, it’s true. I mean, how can you not love a little face on a car like that? (Very girlie, I know.) I know they’re rated high and, heck, made for the type of driving I’ll be doing. For under £6000 I could get a decent one but I’d need to make sure it had air conditioning and low mileage and that may be a bit tricky. I’m thinking of just having my first car for a few years, so this isn’t a bad option (is it?) I mean, there’s only 2 doors and the hatchback. It sits close to the road so I’m not sure how safe it is (but heck, I’ve been in one that drove on 1-4 in Orlando and that’s insanity waiting to happen.) I just don’t know if I should go the practical route or enjoy my first little car that can zip around British streets (if I can, in fact, get it to zip up hills with my driving learning impairment.)

Of course, I’ve considered just going back to my roots with the tried and true Toyota. The Auris would be the modern version of my Corolla if they still made them in the UK. Sadly, Whatcar doesn’t rate them very high but Parkers gives them 4/5 stars. I can get a decent one for the same price as the ones above. I’ve not driven a manual Toyota here, but my past Toyotas ran without giving me any problems, so I may play it safe with this one. The Yaris looks like it may be a bit too small for us, but I could always try him out too.

I don’t know why I can’t fall in love with this Fiat Panda. He’s cute, the right size, and prices right with good reviews but I’m just not sure. We sat in one when we first looked at cars. It’s got a really neat set up inside too, but I’m way more about practicality than how the interior looks. There’s a lot of stuff going on inside, and the handbrake is an odd, boxy shaped thing. I’m not opposed to test driving one, but I’m still semi leery about buying a Fiat since I hear it’s been called a Fix It Again, Tony for so long.

I’ve researched used car sales, new car sales, Top Gear reviews and consumer reviews. I’ve looked at these top contenders up here as well as:

Nissan Note - is it too narrow in the cabin?

Hyundai i20 – drove a Hyundai in Florida during last vacation, but read that the gears are clunky on the manuals here, plus I’m not sure if this is too small either

Volkswagen Polo – price is the issue, especially price to maintain, and size compared to the Golf

Kia Soul – it is so stinking cute, but I think it’s too big for over here because it was taller than me, plus bad reviews.

So what so you think I should get? Are any of these a definite Yes or No?

Read part one of my car journey: History of My Automobiles’ Past

History of my Automobiles’ Past

2013-04-15T11:57:00.001+01:00

When I bought my cars in Florida, it just happened. My parents loaned me their beige Pontiac right after I first got my license, until I took over their Chevy Beretta. Dear Lord, did I love that car. Just looking at old pictures of it, makes me nostalgic. Cars should give you that kind of emotion. You should feel a kinship to them. My first, proper car. He was so fast (I got it at 120 on US1 in the middle of the night one time.) The bottom was low and the front scraped a lot if you hit a speed hump too hard (as if those really deter you from going fast.) I had this from the time I was 17 up to age 22 or so, I guess. Ah, Beretta. I miss you!

I couldn’t even watch when my Beretta was taken away. When he finally died, I got myself a Geo Prism – a Chevy with a Toyota engine. This car took me to Orlando twice a day in many cases. I went to college, my friend’s apartment, the club, everywhere. I even remember the first day I got it and taking it to Downtown Orlando thinking the lights weren’t on bright (because my Beretta just did stuff, without a hitch you know?) It was almost totalled when an elderly lady pulled out in front of me on US1, one morning on the way to class. It even got broken into once (I do not miss being downtown.) Sadly, after I started work as a full-time teacher, the signs were there that my Geo was on his last legs, er, wheels. Mind you, the A/C always worked and the paint was a mess from the Florida sun, but he was still running.

I looked online, and for under $10k, was a 2003, green-silver Toyota Corolla on sale at the local Nissan dealership. I went down, drove it, and bought it. Nothing fancy at all. No power windows, no alarm, no sports pack. In fact, I resented the stupid car because despite it being a Toyota with the same, cute headlights, it wasn’t my Prism and I still drove that little clunker around until he was finally taken away as well. I had both of them parked in front of my apartment for a while too. But I learned to love him, and I called him Yoda (as in Toy-Yoda.) The Corolla did me very, very well so I’m an avid Toyota fan. It survived a side-swiping and the back seat full of crap that I put in there (I always brought everything in my car.) I even picked Steve up from the airport on his first visit to America in my Corolla. But when I moved, I had to have my folks sell my little Yoda for $4k. He had the side scraped up, and the check engine light going, but he was still going strong after having him for 8 years.
So now that I’ve been carless for 2 years and four months, I’m trying to figure out which should be my first, British car. I’ll discuss what I’ve considered, and the research I’ve found on each one in my next post.
Read part two of my car journey here: My first UK car–which should I choose?

The bus station and the crazies who lurk inside

2013-04-09T10:40:00.001+01:00

It’s nice to sit here this morning and listen to the bird’s singing out my window. It seems like Spring is upon us, but it’s still way cold and it snowed a bit yesterday morning. Wonder how Florida is today…

Yesterday I had a bit of a situation. First, I travelled to the local JobCentre to sign up a new claim. I’m sure I’m not eligible for compensation, but I wanted to see if there was anything they could do for me to try and find full time work somewhere. I was interested to see the types of people who were among the unemployed ranks: everyone. Seriously. All sorts of people where in there. People as young as 18, people much older, and people my age.

It’s not a pleasant place to be, obviously, but I honestly don’t know how any large amount of people can be living off of the system. You have to produce 10 job posts that you’ve applied for, and check in every two weeks. I’m suspecting that most of these people are like me; applying over and over and getting nothing back from the employers. (At least some of them interview me and/or send a nice note letting me know I wasn’t chosen for the role.)

After I went to the JobCentre, got my groceries, even allowed a lady and her granddaughter to use the pay-toilet after me so she didn’t have to shell out 20p, I had my encounter.

I was sitting on the bench in the bus station, waiting for Steve to call me. There was some big, loud, ginger dude talking to some lady and her kid about a phone to my left. I wasn’t paying much attention except I could hear the woman yelling, “Stop it"!” to the (presumably) the kid, as the guy continued loudly blahblahblahing. I’ve seen my share of loud, obnoxious people in town because, heck, they’re going to be everywhere you go. I didn’t think much else about it, until the lady and her kid walked off and the drunk dude came up to me, an inch from my face, blathering about something.

Now, since I live by the age-old practice of “Don’t acknowledge and don’t make eye contact,” so potential crazies will leave me alone, I did just that. But when he got closer to me, slurring about how he wanted to use my phone, and he’s give me a quid (no money visible, of course.) I was like, “What? No.” Seriously. Are you kidding me? Then he got pissed off. “But I need to call my effing neighbour!” I just kept telling him, “No. Absolutely not. No,” and putting my hand up for him to back off. He then proceeded to shout and call me all sorts of names (some of which I don’t know the meaning of) and he went on, ranging and raving through the bus station about what an effing blankety-blank I was.

I may be, dude. But I ain’t stupid.

That was enough to shake me up a bit, so I tried to find a security person of some description, but finally settled on going into the ticket agent’s and telling her about the incident so she could alert security. Steve called and I grabbed the next bus so I could get the heck out of Dodge.

Steve wanted to make sure that I reported the incident to the police, so I called the non-emergency number and let her know some crazed, drunken man was trying to get cell phones off of people. My concern was people with little kids or elderly people (though I’ve seen some of them in town who will push and shove to get on the bus or through a store, so I doubt they’d be very intimidated.) When I talked to the police, the dispatcher told me that I should have called 999 right then and there to let them know. I told them it wasn’t anything I needed to make a statement about, but the police still wanted to come over and talk to me.

About an hour later I had a nice policewoman in my kitchen discussing the woes of people with drug and alcohol problems in public, as well as the phone theft concern. She told me she had a friend in London who grabbed a phone out of her hand while she was sitting on the bus. (Remind me never to live there, would you?) I told her about the situations I’d seen at the schools in Florida with kids blatantly stealing phones from other students and even teachers. Heck, when I worked at the NASA contractor, one of my friends had her phone stolen off her desk. When we were at O2 over the weekend, we saw that an iPhone can cost up to £719 out-right. Good thing I only have a Windows phone, but still.

In Orlando, it was illegal for people to be visibly drunk in public and cops were everywhere, waiting to nab someone. Here, according to the policewoman, it’s illegal for anyone to shout obscenities like that in public. (Can you imagine how many people in Florida would be arrested if that were the case there?) The logic is, children may hear this, or elderly people would be intimated (heck, it intimidated me) by the rude, loud, bullying type of behaviour. The policewoman thought that these kinds of incidences would be more prevalent here. I told her Americans have less shame about being rude to people; plus they may or may not have a weapon.

Moral of the story is: sit around other people, not alone on a bench where no one can see craziness take place. Be aware of your surroundings. Stay away from loud, potentially drugged/drunk/mentally disturbed people.

And drive a car because the bus station can get creepy.

Social networking–life’s necessary evil

2013-04-02T10:44:00.001+01:00

I love blogging. I’ve done it since the word weblog was created for news-only sites, until we all decided to make journals out of the capability. I like to write. I like creating content. I like technology too, but I’m starting to really fall behind and I sort of don’t care.

I was asking about book promotions online the other day, because it’s long been discussed that Twitter should not be for spam. Still people do it – a lot. My Twitter feed has gotten to the point where most of it is just links and little discussion. But people will still say they never, ever read or buy books based on a writer’s promotion on Twitter. The alternatives suggested, when I posed the question, were Tumblr and Goodreads.

Tumblr may be the place to be, but after updating my Pick Books page, I didn’t see a lot of original work there. If you’re an artist, fine. If you make animated GIFs, fine. But, just like Pinterest, reblogging and repinning content doesn’t take much effort, so there isn’t much life in the posts. Granted, I like the funny ones like Dog Shaming, but I don’t need to look on Tumblr for anything. (Pinterest still doesn’t interest me either. Someone on my FB credited Pinterest for her cute, colored dish of devilled eggs for Easter. Yeah, I don’t have any use for that in my life.) If people are making book trailers, I totally get that. I get the book promos too, but aren’t they going to get lost in the mix of funny Doctor Who and Harry Potter photos? (I like them to an extent, don’t get me wrong, but I’m not a fan or anything.) If they were photos I took with my own camera, I would be fine with uploading and sharing them. I had that idea when I started No Intent to Buy and my Foodie Blog. Other than that, it’s not that compelling of a situation to invest time in.

Goodreads is a reasonable book promotion tool even though Amazon has bought them and it’s such a big deal now. (I solved the dilemma personally – it has an app to update my book progress, therefore I keep my Goodreads account.) I understand how easily it would be to offer book giveaways and contests, but I can’t be the only person who ignores them. I get invites for those all the time and I never participate. I would think Twitter would be a less intrusive way to offer book giveaways – I’ve participated in contests from links there and I hear that plenty of people have legitimately won free books.

Aside from these sites, I’ve talked before about how Facebook has lost its heart and soul too. In the past few weeks I’ve demoted friends’ posts to allow “only important” updates show up. I’m tired of the cutesy motivational photos, the awful, blurry photos of people at bars, and the insipid updates every five minutes about their daily activities (that’s what Twitter is for, ya’ll.)

Still, I am a bigger fan of FB than Twitter because people I actually know let me know what’s going on in their lives. I don’t love it either since all people seem to be able to do is mindlessly share things there too (though I did post a funny punctuation joke yesterday.) I don’t mind chatting to strangers online but I don’t base my life around it. I just don’t feel the need to do that. When I worked full time I was glad to have the focus outside of the technology spectrum, so I didn’t have to feel obligated or bored enough to just habitually check or update Twitter. I know I’m in the minority on this, and I do not begrudge anyone who enjoys it. It’s all in how you use it, and for me, it’s something I can just take it or leave. Now that Lost is over, I don’t feel as enthusiastic about the discussions. (Besides, the discussions are very limited for me personally, from what I’ve found.)

Lastly, I set my LinkedIn profile to private today. I got an invite to connect with a girl I use to be friends with, who was full of idiotic gossip and drama that I put behind me years ago. I’ve blocked them from FB, and email, yet since LinkedIn can’t block specific users, they can still see my current address and work-related information. No. I just can’t abide by that, especially when I know the reason for the invite was just to be nosey rather than a good-natured outreach of rekindling a friendship. I know the idea of LinkedIn is to keep contacts with former work-mates in order to find job positions, but if someone whom I specifically don’t want knowing my business, can, then it’s not worth bothering with having my resume up for public viewing. It really creeped me out when I realized that this girl and her group of numbskulls have been snooping around on my online profile. (I’m honestly surprised she could figure out how to create a LinkedIn account in the first place.)

Anyway, needless to say, I’m finding social networking less and less interesting. Everywhere I look, I hear people raving about Twitter, Pinterest, and Tumblr, but I’ve just never been in love with any of it. Well, at least Megan Fox is on my side.

5 days on Twitter and I have yet to discern it's purpose. #WhatIsThePoint ???
— Megan Fox (@meganfox) January 9, 2013

So this is middle age?

2013-03-27T10:32:00.001Z

I couldn’t think of a better title for this post, and I don’t even think this post will be very long. My back has gotten worse now that I’ve been home for over a week with pain. I went for a walk around town on Saturday, and I’ve taken my driving lessons, but somewhere along the line, I did something to make it worse. Steve thinks maybe I rushed the healing process too much (as I like to do with everything – I’m so impatient!) I was thinking that my one hour of practicing my parking and reverse around the corner manoeuvres in the car on Monday caused me to do a lot more twisting and turning than my poor back was ready for.

Anyway, I’m sitting here in the bed where I’m sort of comfortable. It takes me an age to get up though. I can’t sit anywhere for long, which is really irritating. I at least worked on my WIP more than usual yesterday, but the minute that I moved slightly in my little, yellow IKEA chair, I felt that familiar twinge of tightness in my back all over again.

I actually finished reading The Future of Us though, so maybe I can get into another book while I’m sitting around here helpless. I would blog more and write my review of the book, but, again, doing anything for long just ain’t happening.

I guess I’ve graduated to middle age, although I know plenty of people at all ages who hose up their back like this. Now I understand how awful this junk is and I don’t wish it on anyone.

On a bright note, I got a knock on the door from the Postman this morning. I didn’t even bother trying to get up because he would have been long gone by the time I got downstairs anyway. He left me a note saying I can pick up a letter that required my signature. I wonder if this is my Indefinite Leave to Remain biometric ID card I’ve been waiting for. I hope so.

It just keeps getting better

2013-03-19T21:59:00.001Z

I swear, I can’t make this stuff up. I was scheduled to work at a Primary School as a support teacher for this week and next. As I was waiting, I was asked to work as an office assistant. I was willing to give it a whirl, until I found out that it was £7 an hour. I made that amount when I worked at the grocery store in 1996. I know jobs are scarce but luckily I don’t need one that badly.

Instead, I agreed to go in and teach at a school for Thursday morning. I am so glad I did. The school was big, and nice, and the staff was really friendly. No one was shouting at kids in the hallway. None of the kids were being complete jerks either. It really made me re-evaluate the whole, “You have to be mean,” attitude of teaching. I had a really enjoyable time, and even got to observe a student teacher. That really made me think that maybe, somehow, some day, I’d like to work as an English teacher again.

I thought I was going to get my chance when the teaching agency called me to do a mini-lesson and have a chat with the staff at a really nice school on Friday. They were looking for 2 English teachers to start on Monday, and there were going to be 4 of us interviewing. I was encouraged and excited, because I was dreading going to the Primary School when I didn’t know exactly what I was going to be asked to do.

When I got to this interview, however, the Head of English didn’t even introduce himself or speak to me longer than to say that he was going to let the other two candidates (two men) do their mini-lesson first. I waited in the staff room while I had copies for my lesson made. When another teacher (I think – no one talked to me there) came and got me, she led me to a Year 7 class where I did a creative writing lesson. The Head of English stayed a good 10-15 minutes, then talked to the classroom teacher before leaving. When I was finished the classroom teacher led me back to the staff room where the other maybe teacher told me that the other candidates had left (except one lady who still had to do her mini-lesson) and they’d “be in touch.” No chat, no real interview. I thought I had a chance but, surprise, surprise, I wasn’t selected for either of the 2 jobs.

In the meantime, my back had been aching from sitting in the chair too long a while ago when I bought my Katy Perry Sweet Treats add-on for Sims 3. I’ve never had a backache, but when I got to the Primary School on Monday I was in full-blown spasm attack. I couldn’t sit comfortably, and after an hour and a half of being there, I was convinced I was going to have to leave early. I couldn’t walk or sit. I was grabbing on to the Xerox machine, the desks, the doorjamb, etc. just to move around. Instead of calling a taxi (or an ambulance, as I really thought at one point when I was stuck and panicked in the bathroom), I stayed until the end of the day. I let the Year 1 and the Reception teachers know that usually I would sit at the desks with the kids and be much more useful, but I was in a bad way.

This morning, Steve decided to stay home with me because I couldn’t even roll over in bed. I let the teaching agency know at 6AM that I couldn’t come in today but I was more than willing to come in the rest of the week. Tonight they called and told me that the school decided to keep another lady they sent in to replace me today. Surprise, surprise.

Granted I may go back again later, but even if I don’t, I can’t be worried about these kinds of things. It’s nothing I can help, and I can just keep trying to find something. I was bored just sitting around feeling uncomfortable, but maybe if I’m not sent off anywhere else tomorrow (if I’m even able to do it, that is) I can get back to my work in progress. As I always say, that’s the important work I want to do, the rest is just to have some kind of decent money, enjoyment in the things I like, and contentment in a place to go and be useful each day.

I guess I can do that while sitting at a cafe with my netbook and my Kindle, huh? Too bad no one’s paying me for that yet.

A new season

2013-03-12T10:04:00.001Z

It’s the beginning of a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the snow has melted, and I’m at home, waiting for my driving lesson to start in 45 minutes.

After my last debacle with a teaching opportunity that went belly up, I’ve decided to stick to my affirmations that I had time and time again – I need to quit. Granted, I want to work, but there’s so much to being a public school teacher that I just don’t have. The responsibility of leading young minds into the world and not wasting a single day of their education is essential. A teacher has to throw their whole life into the work and, frankly, I just don’t have that kind of conviction.

I have been told time and time again that I’ve just not found the right school; how I should teach younger students or older students. I’ve been told that if I stay in the same place to get my bearings, I would do so much better. But I’ve also been told that teaching is not for me. I’ve written about this before but since I was appointed a 7 day job at a Primary School to do support work, I just kept getting this icky feeling that I simply do not want to do it.

So, last night, I was washing the dishes and I thought about the past ten years of my life that I’ve wasted trying to get into the educational system when it’s never, ever worked out. Either I did an awful job or I had to leave the job due to some other circumstance. Finally, I said out loud, “Why would I want to do this anymore?”

I kept trying to convince myself that I should go because it’s a job and I’ve already turned down a (horrible) job, so I may as well try this one. People have jobs. They go out into the workforce and work. I’d like that, but I’d like a job I was good at. Not a job where I was wasting anyone’s time and embarrassing myself in the process. I know, deep down, that I’m not doing well whenever I’m in the classroom. I try, but, as I’ve said before, it’s messy. I know I won’t be able to stay at the school for long because the admin want strong teachers, and I don’t blame them one bit.

There was one shred of hope when I saw that my local libraries are taking volunteers. I have been asking about that since I moved here but they just don’t do that like they do in the States. That means whenever I apply for jobs, I have no U.K. library experience; now maybe I can.

It has made me feel much, much better though, that I know I don’t have to do this teaching thing just because that’s the only job I can get. Steve is so super supportive, and he’s even suggested I go to school to learn a new trade. Of course, I want to do online writing workshops because the only thing that makes me really content is working for myself on my own projects.

I just wish I could write a Dear Teen Me letter saying, “Don’t worry about what anyone tells you, just start writing and trying to get paid for it.” Man, that would have saved me so much time.

Happy World Book Day

2013-03-07T19:08:00.001Z

I’m going to cheat a little bit and use part of this post for my book blog as well.

Lately I’ve been book hopping and I’ve built up an even bigger "Reading / To-Read” list:

I’m not making much progress in any of them, honestly. I read a bit then quit. Read something else, then start playing with the iPhone, and so on. I did, however, go to the cafe yesterday just to read over lunch and coffee yesterday so I suppose that all counts for something. Today, however, I’m still only getting through a few pages at a time.

Aside from the books, I’m happy to be working on my current project. I’ve been taking the advice of my writing books and keeping more outline notes. I’ll be working for a couple of weeks this month at a new school so I’ll have to remember where I wanted the story to go once I’m back to it.

I don’t know if I’m the only one who has this problem, but I find it very, very hard to shake off outside influences. When I have work or travelling going on, I just cannot focus on anything else. I guess it makes sense since writing requires a whole lot of solitary me time. I know I have some attention deficit issues since I can’t work in anything but silence either, but I really wish I could be the kind who grabs the free time and uses it to work. If get really mentally involved with whatever I’ve done for the day, so trying to get back into the mind-set of creating a fictional day is just down-right impossible for me. It’s not a matter of not wanting to, I just need to be in some Zen-like moment to get anything done.

That’s why I’m just going to have to keep a little notebook with me at all times (thank God for Evernote though). If I do think of something, I can at least get it down for later.

Lastly, I remember that Blogging from A to Z April Challenge will be coming up again very soon. The only thing I could think to use as a theme is music since I did movies last year.

March on for better days

2013-03-03T18:35:00.001Z

Last thing I posted was the abysmal day of teaching at the local college. Things have perked up since then, I’m happy to say, except I have another cold of some sort. I’m coughing non-stop and it’s waking me up at night so a trip to the walk-in clinic will be in store for me tomorrow, I think.

But aside from the Germs Of England that love to wreak havoc on my immune system, things have gone back to normal. I am able to be home again to work on my project. I’m trying to learn to take things slower instead of wanting to get them out of the way as soon as possible so I can get on to the next project. (I think it’s an American thing, “I want what I want and I want it now.”)

This goes with my driving too. I started with a new instructor last week. She’s been to American several times so she actually understands how different the road system is there. This is something my former instructor could just never accept as a reason for having such a hard time here. But, whatever, on to a new chapter of driving expertise.

Also, I was told on Friday that I may get a position as part teaching assistant, part teacher job at a little school. This would be a good job for me since I don’t have a load of experience in the UK schools and would need to learn the curriculum. It will also take the pressure off if I’m helping another teacher out and not just being thrown in by myself.

We’ll see though. Jobs through the agency are potential but they have plenty of other potential applicants to take care of so if I don’t get it I will neither be surprised or disappointed. Of course having the money is always nice but if I it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen.

Anyway, after I get this annoying cough taken care of I should be good as gold. I’m so glad it’s March and the weather is starting to perk up. I really can’t stand not seeing the sun. I’ve already felt more motivated just by seeing blue sky and sunshine coming through the windows in the afternoon. It’s such a relief.

My first and last day at college

2013-02-26T16:27:00.001Z

I’m spoiled. When I think of college, I think of this. I attended and taught at Brevard Community College the year before I moved to England. I didn’t have any problems with students accept plagiarism and attendance. I had an office to work in, a textbook, a helpful Department Chair, and a pleasant atmosphere. I’ve taught at other colleges in Florida that weren’t State funded, and I still had resources and support. This is sadly not the same situation at all colleges.

The description of Further Education for the United Kingdom is not very different as Community College is for the United States. So I don’t understand why a student’s attitude would be so poor if they know they have to attend a class that they pay for in order to get a degree that will give them a job. Students who are in vocational training aren’t English majors, but from the experience I had in Florida, they could be really disinterested but maybe two out of 50-60 students would be rude. Most of the time they just didn’t attend class, and I would have to keep attendance to make sure that they didn’t fail due to absences.

That job that I had gotten last week, was what I thought I really wanted. It turned out to not be at all what I expected. As the old saying goes, sometimes you do get what you wanted and you wish you hadn’t.

Here’s a description of my first day:

I was told to report to the school at 9AM so that I could be introduced to a couple of teachers who could help me out on the first day. My first class was at 10:30.

I was introduced to a Teacher #1 who was Head of Communications or something. She discussed with the Head of English who I should talk to and who could maybe help me. First took me to the HR department to get a name badge first, but they were too busy. Then we went to another building to find a Teacher #2 who maybe knew the students I had and what I should be doing with them. She didn’t.

We wandered around various rooms to find another teacher who maybe had the students before and knew what they should be doing. She didn’t either. In fact, she looked confused and nervous about why they were asking her to help me.

I was taken to the Learning Lab and left with Teacher #3. She allowed to log into a computer with her password, even though they discussed I shouldn’t be doing that but they had no choice because, “it takes forever” for a new member of staff to get a log-in. I was told over and over that the school “Doesn’t want to do formal inductions,” so I was just going to have to look within the resources they had on the college server and find something to do with the students. I stayed on one computer while Teacher #3 went to log into a separate computer. I heard a random woman (apparently the lady who runs the Learning Lab) that, “Excuse me, but you’ll have to do that somewhere else. Those are computers to man the Learning Lab desk.” Great. There’s my welcome.

Teacher #3 found a cupboard full of English resources like hand-outs and diagnostic tests. She also found a cabinet full of binders that had the last two weeks work from the students. I was their third teacher since the start of February.

I left the computer I was logged in to after I realized I couldn’t even print from it, set my bag and coat on the table. I started trying to pull folders and hand-outs out to find something, anything, to do with students I had that morning. I was never given a textbook. Never given a curriculum.

Learning Lab manager woman walked up to me:

“Excuse me, how long are you here for?”

Me: “Um, in what sense? All day? All term?”

LLM: “I mean are you based at this campus?”

Me: (checks watch to see that I’ve been on the job for 30 minutes without pay) “Yes.”

LLM: “Well, I know it’s your first day, but we’ve been trying to work with the English Department because there is no staff room, but this is a Learning Lab for students. You have to keep the computers free and nothing put on the tables.”

Me: (blank stare) “Right.”

Couldn’t she have given this b.s. to me on Day 2 at least?

After I got some supplies, I went to my classroom at 10:20, but a class was already in there. There was no where to sit, so I had to just hang out in the hallway and wait for my students to arrive. When I saw Teacher #2 walking around with two students, I heard her asking, “So you’re not usually in this room, then?”

The schedule was wrong and we had to go to an empty classroom on the ground floor. They also had a nice, older gentleman from the Learning Lab who was a Support Assistant. Teacher #2 just left him to help me with my class of 2 students who were English as Second Language and travel agent majors. The only thing I found that was potentially a good first lesson was with some exercises on apostrophe use and then, to kill time, a diagnostic test that I found in the cupboards.

I asked about logging into computers in classrooms but they were only student computers and I needed a teacher computer to access the resources.

After class, I tried to figure out what I could do for my afternoon lesson of catering majors. Since the Learning Lab was off limits, I had no where to sit. The cafes and hallways were packed with students and every teacher who I talked to was happily sitting at a desk, eating their lunch. I had to sit outside in the frigid air to talk to Steve on the phone where I told him how I could already tell this job was a bust. I eventually went to a cafe after the kids were back in class and bought a turkey sandwich. By that time my hands and butt where so numb from sitting on that bench, I didn’t care where I went as long as it was warm.

When I went back up to the Learning Lab to find a lady, Teacher #4, who had my classes the week before half term. She told me about how bad the students were and how mad they get when you try to give them work. At a college? Really?

Oh yes. When I arrived to my afternoon class of 10 catering students, five boys sat there being just plain rude. They wouldn’t call me Suzanne, they thought Suzy was more funny. They listened to music on their phones, had earbuds in, headphones on, talked, sang, cursed at the work I gave them. All of this stuff is totally normal when you’re covering a class for a day at a Secondary/High School but at college?

There’s something that snaps and when you see how disrespectful students are going to be, the knee-jerk reaction is to lay into them and kick them out of class. But that’s for high school. This was a college! One student even sat there chatting away on his phone during my lesson and asked if he could leave class early because he had to pick up his kid. My response was, “Aren’t you an adult? If you have to be somewhere you know, don’t you?”

The rest of the boys eventually slept and didn’t attempt to do any kind of work whatsoever. One student did help me with the projector and the got the dimmer for the classroom lights (you need a remote from an office to dim lights in the classroom for some reason), I’ll give him that. I had another student in there who had special needs so I had to make the work be as visible as possible on the screen. (That poor student, without a computer or a printer, how would any teacher ever be able to give her the proper material she needs to see?)

Anyway, I let the class go 10 minutes early since they weren’t doing anything anyway. I went up to the Learning Lab to ask Teachers #2 and #4 who had all sorts of papers to grade all on top of the Learning Lab tables but no one said anything to them about it, I might add. I asked them how much of a witch I could really be with the students. The answer was, “Not much.” They’re supposed to be adults and we have to treat them as such but they’re still underage so they have to stay at the school until 4:30. They aren’t even paying for classes, it’s funded. Fabulous.

By the end of the day, I tried to find someone to give my attendance too but no one knew how to do it (not even the English department.) I asked about having a place to work and they said, “Oh, there’s this lounge here. You have to just try to get a computer when it’s free because we have too much staff and not enough resources.” You’re right about that. Six desks with five people from another department I’ve never met or seen before and I’m supposed to muscle in and try to make myself comfy whenever I need to do my lesson plans? What if I go in there at 8AM and it’s busy? Every place else was because people scrambled to find empty computers where they sat parked for most of the day.

Upon research I read that the school had gone down in ratings within the last few years. They had even been reported for escorting school inspectors off the campus! Steve said just by looking at the place he could tell it was a crummy place to work. The buildings are old and dreary. The walls are all brown and the ceilings are exposed concrete. The students and staff didn’t seem happy to be there at all either.

Long story short, I didn’t go back. If there’s no place to sit and work, no materials to use, no discipline in place, and the pay is only for the time I’m in the classroom, I just can’t be bothered. I want to work, but within reasonable conditions. I don’t mind helping people but teachers need some essentials to get any kind of learning done. This job lacked a lot of basic essentials.

I tried to phone the school to even leave a message with someone this morning but no one had voicemail. I didn’t have any email address other than the main one listed online, so I just told them I wasn’t coming in and to let the Head of English know. I thanked them for the opportunity and all the help they gave me on the first day as well. I didn’t want to go in today, knowing I wouldn’t be able to do anything. Even if I got to campus early, there was no where to plan out my lessons. I don’t think any teacher should be expected to conduct class that way. Oh well, at least I know now.

It’s after 4PM now and I’ve not heard from anyone. I doubt they even know I’m not there.

How to be a failure

2013-02-21T18:37:00.001Z

I’m a big, fat failure and it’s time I come clean about what’s happened, just so I can get it off my chest. I’ve been depressed and crying on and off for two days and the only way I know how to get the burden off of me is to write about.
Right. Here goes.
I failed my driving test again. Third time. I drive okay in lessons, but fail the tests. This time I colossally failed and the instructor abandoned the exam. Why? Because I didn’t understand the rules of the road. After bus in front of me signalled that it was stopping at the bus stop, I tried to pass it. The bus decided to keep going and muscled me over into the other lane. Examiner had to tell me to slow down, then I stalled once he aborted my mission. I knew I failed then and there but didn’t know that I could have abandoned the test myself. (I honestly considered that the bus driver was at fault because he did signal left.)
After I knew I failed after that awful occurrence, I turned onto the wrong side of a sectioned street. Of course there are no signs that say “DO NOT ENTER” or “WRONG WAY” the little lines on the road are just implied. For a country that houses the English language, they certainly don’t like writing any of it anywhere important.
After I sat there, crying on the phone to Steve, in my driver’s ed car while someone from the DVLA brought my instructor back, I just knew I was never going to be able to do this. I’ve been taking tests for almost a year and I don’t know to not pass a bus on a certain road. Lord knows there aren’t any lane markings or signs that tell you “no overtaking.” I don’t know for sure what signs and markings of roads mean half the time anyway. There are five or more different things to be concerned about all the time. It’s not like in the States where we just worry about other cars and drive defensively. Until you drive here as a Floridian, you just have no idea how confusing this all is. But people do it. They pass. But I can’t.
Steve thinks most of the problem is the instruction I’ve been given. Most of the time the instructor shouts at me or is says something condescending like, “If you have to ask about parking now, you shouldn’t be taking a test.” Well, maybe that’s just it. Maybe I shouldn’t have even considered taking a test so soon. I tried to get the gist of how the roads work but the instructor doesn’t understand how difficult it is for me. He’s even said things like, “You mean to tell me that roads in America are really that different?” As if I’m making an excuse for just not “paying attention” and “thinking about what I’m doing.”
I just feel so completely stupid for thinking I could do this. Steve tells me all the time that I rush things and don’t look at all the details. If that’s true, then I shouldn’t do anything. I don’t see everything that I need to know. I try. I do my best, but it just doesn’t click. And it’s dang frustrating to not have all the puzzle pieces and not even know how to get them.
It’s just like my stupid lack of a career. I wanted to be an English major, so I went to college, thinking (and being told) that I will easily be able to become an English teacher with that degree. Of course that wasn’t the case and I spent hundreds of dollars on printer ink and gas money just trying to interview for jobs I didn’t have a chance at getting. It was like that with the Master’s degrees too. I thought (and was told) that I should work at the college, so I got the degree. After I got there, I was told there was no chance of having full time work. Then I got a library degree because supposedly jobs were all over the place now that people were retiring. I don’t stand a chance at getting a library job now. I can’t just volunteer or be an intern anywhere, my resume has teaching jobs, so they think I’m not serious about wanting to be a librarian in the first place.
Basically, I’m tired of wasting time. I’m wasting Steve’s money on tests and lessons. I’ve wasted my time trying for things that were never going to happen to begin with but I never saw the whole picture. I guess naive is the word for it. Everything I do has to be done over and over until I get it right. Nothing (aside from writing, I guess) comes natural to me. The only thing good I’ve done in my life is married Steve and moved away from the insanity which is Florida. However, the rest of the things that I need to have a normal, productive life just don’t click for me like they do for other people.
But I did get a job. The morning before my driving test I got a call confirming that I am going to be teaching at the college, with a chance of getting full-time work. I’m over the moon about this, because this is the job I really wanted. Right after the call, I had the driving test fiasco, then had to go to the college to get my schedule and discuss the details. Of course this unwelcoming country has given me no tangible evidence that I am still eligible to work in the U.K. while my Indefinite Leave to Remain application is in progress, so I may only be able to work for a couple of weeks until my silly ID card gets sent in the mail.
England; the country where they make it hard for Americans to work, drive cars, or find flavoured ground coffee.
At least we have a Krispy Kreme now. Whether or not I’ll ever be able to go through a drive-thru here is probably not going to happen. The idea of driving again with another instructor seems ridiculous. I’d love to be able to drive but with crazy roads and rules I don’t comprehend after 10 months of lessons, I just don’t know anymore.

When I Get A Job

2013-02-17T17:18:00.001Z

I really should update on what’s been going on with me lately. Last week I was able to try out for three different teaching positions, which is a huge accomplishments when I sat here for over a year and a half without so much as an offer to be a support assistant.

On Monday I went to a Secondary School to work with some kids who may need me any time between now and April until the end of the term. After I spent the day there, I high-tailed it to do an interview and 15 minute lesson at a college where I applied to teach English (basically freshman English for those of us who hail from America.) Then on Thursday I was able to do a 30 minute try-out lesson at a Primary School.

Any of these jobs would be great to have but the Primary School is closer so it would be nice to have a short commute. I’ve taught college English before (in fact, that was my last teaching position I had in Florida) so that is a really nice opportunity too. The Secondary School is a bit out of the way, but I figured out the bus by the time I left the afternoon of my initial try-out day. Again, any of these would be a welcome relief since I am so ready to not be in the house every day.

Of course, I have my projects I want to keep working on, and the Secondary School position isn’t 5 days a week, so I would have time to continue doing my work at home as well. It’s just such a nice relief to not have to be glued to Twitter all day just because I have nothing better to do.

It’s a weird thing, being alone all day. The more use to it you get, the more you forget that there’s a whole world going on outside that you could be a part of. I try to convince myself that I don’t mind it, but once I start going into schools, I remember how good it feels to use my day productively. I like helping kids. I like being out in the fresh air. I like feeling useful.

I also like being able to have money and I’ve made a list of things I plan on getting once I finally have another job lined up:

A car
Insurance for the car
DAB for the car
TomTom for the car
Makeup from Avon
Dresses
Nice skincare products from ProActiv, Lush, Lancôme, etc.
Girlie DVDs such as Gone with the Wind, Dirty Dancing, Mean Girls, Ten Things I Hate About You, Heathers, Clueless, Carrie, The Twilight Saga (I know, I know! I even got the soundtracks on Zune player today.)
Go to teaching workshops- Read, Write Inc., etc.

Of course, books are on the list too, but I have a handful of them (at least) on my Currently Reading list as is. I will try to update Unfinished Book Reviews on Wednesday and Friday too. I always feel bad when I miss those posts because I have opinions on what I’m reading that I should be posting.

Besides, if I’m working, I’ll have less time to read anything outside of school. I’ll use that money to take Steve out to dinner, and to buy my parents biscuits in cute, British souvenir tins instead.

Wish me luck! (Again.) Jobs and a career are so much nicer and rewarding than watching daytime telly all week.

Farm livin' is the life for me.

2013-02-04T12:16:00.001Z

We made our way back to Beamish on Saturday. This was our third visit but we hadn’t been down there since January of last year. I was really excited to use my new camera too (as you can see from my slideshow.) It is such a nice change of pace to be able to roam around the countryside, looking at farm animals, and feeling like you’re experience the good old days of English life. Certainly beats fighting crowds in a shopping mall.

The sun will come out tomorrow

2013-01-31T16:58:00.001Z

I finally got out of the house yesterday and took the trusty netbook with me. (This thing was well worth my time as a supply teacher just to be able to afford it.) I went to the gym for the first time since Jan 2nd too. After that, I grabbed my mug of coffee and sat at the cafe in the park to continue on my project.

The sun was out for the first time since forever, the sky was blue, and although very windy, it was a nice day. No snow cleats, no boots, no heavy coat. I could have done with some thermals but, what can I say, I’m a wussy Floridian who can’t function in anything below 70s F.

Or rather, I used to.

Anyway, so now that the weather has perked up, so have I. Even though it’s going to get cold again, I’m finally feeling that brand of hope that the New Year always promises. I have hope that I’ll get my project done, and I have hope that I’ll get my driver’s license. Even though I failed the test again on Monday.

This time, I knew what I did wrong. I screwed up the gear changes on a really steep hill, going about 20mph. I also hit a curb. Now, if you live in Florida, you’d think this means I’m a really reckless driver. Oh no. Here, the curbs are long and jut out into the street so you have to “be aware at all times.”

Yeah, you have to be aware of 100 things at all times. I’m surprised more people aren’t given Valium just to handle the undo stress of driving around here. But someone else yesterday told me not to give up hope because they passed their test after after five attempts. These are people who have lived with this road system their whole life! The main irritant about the whole thing (aside from being chastised by the driving instructor each lesson) is that it costs £62 plus the cost of the lesson because you have to use the driver’s ed car. I could have put a hefty down payment on my own car by this point!

Anyway, I’m just going to keep on keeping on. I’m also going to sign up with an office temp agency next week so maybe I can find a job I’m actually good at for a while. Every time I see someone praising a teacher for their wonderful lesson or fun activity in the classroom, I know Primary and Secondary School teaching is not my calling. I’ve never had training in things to make school fun. I asked the Department of Education yesterday if I could take any college courses to get myself more accustomed to working in the UK classrooms; the answer was, “no.” Since I’m already a certified teacher, I can’t take any teaching courses. Isn’t that insane?

They suggested I shadow a teacher, but from what I’ve seen, those girls are busy as it is, and I want fact, examples, reading material, creative ideas, Q&A… I may as well go into a classroom as is, and try to fumble around to find a place where I can be re-trained. But that’s what I’ve been doing since 2003 and without that initial teacher training, it’s just not as easy to put all the puzzle pieces together.